A Journey from Shy Kid to Public Speaking Powerhouse with Philip Sessions

Ever thought about how much impact a simple "um" or "ah" could have on your audience? Wondered how you could become a more engaging speaker? Join Philip Sessions, a communication & public speaking expert, on a journey from shy kid to mastering storytelling, non-verbal skills, and building his stage.

Philip Sessions, a positive figure and renowned public speaker, reveals the key to effective communication. Discover the significance of non-verbal cues in sales and how your tone influences your message. Philip shares a vivid example of how monotone delivery affects customer interactions.

Delving into effective communication, we explore the power of storytelling with Philip. He shares tips for crafting engaging narratives. We emphasize fact-finding for relatable stories. Plus, discover how small business owners can build their own stage for success. This episode is a treasure trove of knowledge on communication and public speaking, so tune in for an enlightening conversation!

NOTABLE QUOTES
"I was trying to be better and my speaking was one thing that held me back." – Philip
"I decided that it’s kind of a mission of mine now to be able to help people with [communication] because that was something that held me back so much." – Philip
"If it’s something that I didn’t necessarily want to do, but I knew in the back of my mind that I needed to do that, then if I just pushed through, it’d be much better." – Philip
"Begin with the end in mind; Audience awareness and understanding; Remember it’s not about you; and Serve." – Philip 
"You need to make sure that what you’re doing with your body matches what you’re actually saying." – Philip 
"You need to tell those facts, but the thing is back them up with stories." – Philip 
"The hardest part is really just realizing that they do have stories worth sharing." – Philip 
"If you’re being asked to speak on stage, then that means somebody believes in you and they believe you enough to put you on their stage." – Philip 
"All the um's and ah’s is a very minor detail that you shouldn’t let hold you back because that message is much more important." – Philip 
"I want to really be able to help people out and there’s a lot of people that want that help, they need that help. But they just don’t have the financial means to do that. So, why not give a lot of that away?" – Philip 
"Go build your own table, go build your own stage. If we take action, results come from that." – Philip 
"Start with one goal first." – Philip 

RESOURCES
Jacob Jones
Website:  https://greenlighttheory.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100088364497213 
Twitter: https://twitter.com/greenlighttheory
Instagram: https://instagram.com/greenlighttheory
LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/greenlighttheory

Philip
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iamphilipsessions/?hl=en
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@philipsessions
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/philip-sessions-b2986563/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/therealphilipsessions

Transcript

Jacob Jones: 0:15

Awesome, Welcome back, guys. Let me introduce to you our guest this week. You know, who is just an absolute force of inspiration and positivity. We've got Philip Sessions on the podcast. Philip's from Greenville, South Carolina, a husband, girl, dad, Christian coach, author, podcast host, public speaker and a communication strategist at speaking sessions Like that's a whole lot of titles there, Philip. But yeah, but that's not all. You know, Philip is also a connector of people. He has a natural ability to inspire, motivate others to become the best version of themselves. He's a true powerhouse who can help you build a stronger mindset to learn how to speak with more confidence and teach you the strategies needed to communicate more effectively. Philip, welcome to the show.

Philip Sessions: 1:04

Hey Jacob, Thanks for having me.

Jacob Jones: 1:05

Yeah, so, yeah, so it's Philip the lights green. Yeah, let's get this baby gasped up. You give us a little bit of a rundown of you know, you, you know, hey, how'd you get to where you are today?

Philip Sessions: 1:15

Like you said, a lot of titles, so that didn't just happen overnight. Well, take this back a little bit back in the day, when I used to not talk, I used to not be confident in myself and I would just sit there all by myself. One day I missed school in third grade. I came back the next day and the nerd that I was, and the nerd that I probably still am today, said hey, teacher, what did I miss? She said I didn't know you were gone. And now I still don't know to this day whether she was actually joking or not, but that's how quiet I was that the teacher most likely didn't even realize that I was gone.

Philip Sessions: 1:52

One day, so I was this guy that would never talk, got into high school, finally started getting out of my shell, but I still wouldn't talk to women, which now married with the daughter.

Philip Sessions: 2:02

I'm not worried about talking to other women to be able to pick them up as a date or anything like that, but it was just this can you tenual thing where I was always trying to be better and my speaking was one thing that held me back.

Philip Sessions: 2:16

And finally, as I got further into my career, where I still work at BMW manufacturing full time doing logistics automation, where I speak with robots more than I do with people.

Philip Sessions: 2:27

I still have to learn those people skills because I have to interact with the people that have to interact with those robots, and what I found is that communication is the most challenging thing that anybody has, and so I decided that it's kind of a mission of mine now to be able to help people with that, because there was something that held me back so much whether it was a personal relationship, whether it was an intimate relationship, whether it was a job promotion, getting money, getting out of the nine to five it's held me back in some way, shape or form, and so that's why I'm on that mission to help other people.

Philip Sessions: 3:04

And just through my own personal growth and development is where I picked up all these other titles being an author, being a podcaster, being a speaker because I've seen what other people do and I know that's part of that road to greatness. So I have developed myself to be all of these different titles and it just feels like it's just me, but it does sound like a lot whenever you say it on paper or you say it right here on the intro of the podcast.

Jacob Jones: 3:31

Yeah. So growing up quiet kid, what were some of those red lights, those roadblocks that you had to face to move from that quiet kid that the teacher had no clue you were missing from the classroom to who you are today? I imagine that's that didn't come natural for you.

Philip Sessions: 3:48

No, it was definitely something I really had to push myself, and even still to this day, when I go to networking events. This is a good example I could use for like today when you go to that networking event, you know you need to go to that networking event, but the natural thing is to hang out with the people that you know, but you're at the networking event to network and get to know new people, so you have to just force yourself to go talk to those new people. And that's essentially what I've done every step of the way to get through all those roadblocks when it came to my communication and really anything I knew. If it's something that I didn't necessarily want to do, but I knew in the back of my mind that I needed to do that, then if I just pushed through, I would do that and it'd be that much better. Same thing with going and working out.

Philip Sessions: 4:35

Eating healthy it stinks in the moment is something that you don't really want to do, unless you're a freak. There are some people that love to eat healthy all the time. I'm not one of those people. But when you do the thing, that stinks in the moment but it's better for the long term. That's what creates that growth, and so that's really what, every time when I hit that obstacle, I think about that. You know what is this going to do for me long term? And it doesn't happen every time. I'm not perfect. There are times where I cave in. You know what? That pressure, just doing that thing that I don't really want to do. It just doesn't feel good right now and I do cave into the thing. That's easy, that's natural. But that's what I do is really just push myself to do that thing. That's uncomfortable, because when I get uncomfortable, I know growth is right around the corner.

Jacob Jones: 5:23

Yeah, let's talk public speaking here for a little bit. Specifically, let's talk about that four letter F word that everybody's afraid of here, Probably not the one that came to everybody's mind. First Let me relay a story, because I was actually related to my wife this week. So I built sales teams for the last 20 plus years and on the telecom side we would run group interviews. So I would train sales managers how to go in run a group interview. So they'd go walk in, whether it's five people, 20, some rooms we'd have 50 people in there. So we were teaching them how to speak in public.

Jacob Jones: 6:03

And I'm going to relay this story, I'm going to go back and he'll probably kill me for sharing it on here, so I won't say his last name, but I was training this guy, Brian and Brian, by the way, is one of the most gifted sales managers, yeah, I've ever had the pleasure to work with. But so Brian goes in this room and there's 20, some people in there, and he's in there for about 30 minutes and he walks out and he says, hey, can you finish that in there? Say, yeah, no problem, you know, Brian, tell me where you are in the process and I'll take it from there and he says I'm at the beginning and I'm sitting there for a second. I said what do you mean? You're at the beginning? Like what have you told them? He says nothing. I said, Brian, you stood in front of this room for the last 30 minutes and just said absolutely nothing. And he says, yes, Like my mind is just blown right. They won that. Nobody's left.

Jacob Jones: 6:57

Yeah, and I'm thinking these poor 20 people coming for a job interview. They're sitting in a room and some guys standing in front of the room, silent for almost 30 minutes. I walk in and I say, hey, I don't know what happened for the last 30 minutes, but yeah, you're not going to run me off like the last guy. It just yeah, I got some laughter and rolled through there, but I think that was a. You know, there was an example. Brian obviously had this fear that overcame him, right, and we all grew up hearing you know this piece of advice, basically to imagine the audience and their mighty, tidy whities. But I've got a hunch that you probably have some better advice or some more applicable tips than just to take a focus in their underwear as we're standing at the top of the room.

Philip Sessions: 7:42

Yes, definitely that fear of public speaking is the number one question that everybody asks about that I get asked a lot of times. So I have came up with what I call the speaking bars method to help with this but then also help you with your speaking, as oftentimes there's two things why we have that fear of public speaking. One is because we're afraid of what people are going to say about us. Of course, it's natural. We all think that, no matter how much we have spoken, we still worry about what people think. And you think you, as a non professional speaker or a speaking coach, is afraid of what people think. I'm a speaking coach. So I feel like people are going to be judging me more because I'm this speaking coach. And of course with that comes oh, phillip must just think he's all high and mighty, he's the best speaker out there. Well, no, I don't think that. But there still is that fear a little bit within me that somebody's going to judge me whenever I talk about how I'm a speaking coach If I don't go and speak well. So I had to be on top of my game for that. So the first thing is that we worry about ourselves. The second thing is that we really don't know what we're going to talk about. We have some ideas. We probably didn't prep for it, or we just think we're going to talk about a certain thing and it's just going to work out. You know it very well in the sales game If you just go and simply talk about a product and you have no plan for that customer or you don't guide them to where that product can help them and overcome that problem they have and fix it and be that solution for them, then it's not going to go well, you're most likely not going to get to sell. And now when we're speaking, we're not necessarily trying to sell per se, but there are oftentimes we're selling within that. So we have to know where we're trying to take the customer. So this is where this whole speaking bars method comes in. So it's an acronym the bars part, not the speaking. So that would be a long, very long acronym.

Philip Sessions: 9:41

So the bars begin with the end in mind. So where is this end goal? Where are you trying to go with your speech in the first place? Because if you don't know where you're trying to go, you don't know how to start, you don't know where to take that presentation. And also, as maybe you get starstruck the lights are in your eyes, you forget everything. At least you can know where you're trying to end that speech at or where you're trying to end that conversation at. So begin with that end in mind and then have the audience awareness and understanding.

Philip Sessions: 10:12

A lot of times we get nervous because we don't really know who we're speaking to. So if we know who our audience is and we understand who they are, we can start speaking to them and we can start speaking a way that they can understand, versus just trying to guess at it, which is another reason why we would be afraid. And then remember it's not about you. This is a big part of being able to get over that fear, because you need to remember it's not about you. When we focus on ourselves is when we are most fearful, when our speeches are really the worst, because people can tell when you're up there on stage to speak for yourself or if you're up there to speak for them and help them out. So remember that it's not about you, it's about your audience, and then finally serve.

Philip Sessions: 10:59

This is all about intentionality.

Philip Sessions: 11:02

If you are not there serving your audience and trying to give them as much information as possible, you're going to fall flat. Yes, you may be a great speaker, yes, you may say some great things, but if you're there to serve yourself, at the end of the day your audience won't listen to you. Everybody knows you're in business, you're there to make money, you have a product or service that probably can help them. But if you're not willing to give away some information for free, if you're not willing to help educate that audience and serve them, you won't be served in return. It's kind of like the law of reciprocity If you're not willing to be that giver first, you're not going to get anything in return. And of course, the caveat there is that we're not trying to give so we can get, but we're just giving out of the kindness of our heart. So make sure that you're serving in that message. So begin with the end in mind audience awareness and understanding. Remember, it's not about you, it's about them, and serve we got to get you spit bars like Jay-Z.

Jacob Jones: 12:55

At least that's how it's now going to stick in my head that way anyways.

Philip Sessions: 12:59

Exactly, that was the whole pun on it, man. Spit bars, speaking bars, same thing.

Jacob Jones: 13:06

I love it. Yeah, so there's two big things that I've always stressed when I'm out training sales teams around the country. Yeah, and I'd like to take just a little bit of time, dive into these two topics as it pertains and really just get your feedback on it. My first one is nonverbal speaking right, those nonverbal communication skills, if I can nerd out. For a second, my background is in NLP. The nonverbals have always been king for what I go in and I train folks on.

Jacob Jones: 13:40

I guess it's a little bit of God's time and because I actually just dropped a post this morning and a couple of groups giving away 10 tips on matching, mirroring body language, pacing in your speech patterns, even breathing gestures, language patterns, all of these things. What have you seen? And maybe it's even the negatives where people really struggled here. But you were able to get them to see that struggle, to see, hey, they were failing in the nonverbal part of what they were doing, and get them to actually see. That's probably the hardest part, at least, yeah, that's what I find, because they don't see that in themselves and then to take action to actually improve it.

Jacob Jones: 14:27

And I asked this because so many sales guys come back and they're telling their sales manager hey, I said exactly what you told me to say. The problem is they didn't say it how the sales manager said it, or even if they got the voice inflection down. Man, the guy's running around, he's got his hand clear above his head and he's saying, hey, it's a very low price. So he's sending mixed nonverbal communication. So, yeah, if you could unpack that a little bit and walk through. Hey, how do you coach folks through that? What are some best steps? What do you have for us?

Philip Sessions: 15:03

Yeah, and I'll say real quick that I think a lot of times this is missed when it comes to sales training. You have this whole script. You're supposed to say the script is exact way and make sure it's not robotic. That's about the only thing you get when it comes to the sales training most of the time. But I would say, yes, that nonverbal piece is the most important thing ever, and a lot of my experience has been with people where they don't use that vocal variation or where they don't vary their voice and maybe get a little bit higher pitch and a little bit deeper. They'll sit there and they're very monotone.

Philip Sessions: 15:38

And one example I can think of is where people is. Man, I'm just really excited today. This has been a really great day. I just close a really big sale. My business is doing the best it's ever done. So like, really do you? Really? You don't sound excited at all, like just one tone, that's it. Your face is just flat. There's no expression of joy in that at all. So that is very deceptive.

Philip Sessions: 16:03

It's very confusing for the customer if you're trying to say that, oh, this is the best product, we really love this product, or I know we can help you out the solution. You know, I think we can help you out here today If you want to be helped out. Yeah, that's, it's a big thing. Yes, the tone of your voice. But if you're watching this video, you'll see my face changed as well. But, as you showed, jacob, where you put your hand with pie, oh, this low price it's, but it's way above my head. Okay, that is confusing. So, yes, you need to make sure that what you're doing with your body matches what you're actually saying.

Philip Sessions: 16:42

I'll give another example of this. If you tell your wife or your husband and you say, hey, I love you, do you think they really feel that, while they know, yes, okay, I know my wife or my husband loves me, if you just say, yeah, hey, love you, they just got to do that every single day eventually they'd start questioning you know what's going on? Is there something going on in our marriage? Did I do something wrong? And they start getting worried. And this is the same thing with your potential client, your potential customer.

Philip Sessions: 17:14

If you say it in a certain way that doesn't match with what your product or service will do for them. It'll confuse them and then they'll be like well, I'm not sure about this. You know, maybe maybe a Jacob guy, a Philip guy, they don't really know what they're talking about. Or maybe their product really doesn't do what they say it's supposed to do. And that's why a lot of people will tell you that you need to believe in your product, because when you believe in something you have that much more passion for it. You're actually that much more excited about it. You're going to show it in your body language and you're going to show it in the way you come up with your tone of voice and everything. So I'm not sure if I exactly answered that question for you, but a statistic I believe it's about 84% of our speaking is actually nonverbal. So most of that being body language and then really even within the tonality of our voice, and it's not the words. The words only have so much substance to them.

Philip Sessions: 18:12

Going back to our love example, you can insert another example those words, whether you say them or not, I mean you had to say them, but the way you say them and how you look when you say them matter that much more and put that much more emphasis on them.

Philip Sessions: 18:28

Let's another example, real quick a text message. How many times I raised my hand here. Have you read a text message and you read too far into it. You thought that that text message meant something completely different, because in your mind you pictured the way this person was going to be. Maybe it's how you thought your spouse was responding to the way that you messaged them about something. And now they're upset with you. Really, they were just like, oh, I wish you could have gotten that done. But you're thinking, oh my gosh, why did you not get that done? They're freaking out on you. So think about that and now take it to when you're actually speaking to somebody in person. Those words, while they are exactly the same, they mean something completely different based on your body language and tone of voice.

Jacob Jones: 19:16

I always say I was blessed. My first sales job back 2001,. I'm dating myself a little bit here, but that's okay. I had a great sales trainer, a guy named Mike Germana. He was huge.

Jacob Jones: 19:30

Every word that you said had a motion and action something with it. Part of the training was you weren't allowed to go talk to a potential customer until you could do your entire sales pitch with no words. So you would literally stand in front of the room and I'm on a podcast so they can't see you here to see this. But yeah, if they're watching, I can. Still today, 20 years later, how I have it down. Yeah, every single motion to the entire sales pitch. And I always thought, yeah, hey, that was greatness.

Jacob Jones: 20:05

Yeah, I didn't get it at the time, it was almost just drilled into me, if you will, but it set me on a. It set me on a path to understand more like, hey, why did we snap my pen forward at them? And understanding that psychology behind that. And that's right. I said, man, I could nerd out on this for the next three days probably. And then that voice, inflection yeah, we were, we were always taught.

Jacob Jones: 20:29

Now, yeah, I've just relayed this through the years, it's a simple sentence, you know where it says I didn't kick my dog. Yeah, it wasn't me, it was you, philip, right, I didn't kick, kick my dog. Yeah, I hit him. Yeah, I didn't take my dog, it was your dog. Yeah, I think my dog it was the cat. Yeah, so to your point. You know, based on where we stress any word, it completely changes how you know the person that we're communicating. Here's that so yeah, so I dig that. You know completely. A wise guy once told me that. You know, even as a leader, it was. It's not our job, it's not the person we're speaking to or communicating, it's not their job to understand. It's our job to be understood as the one communicating. Just that ownership piece had always changed. You know my thought process on hey, how am I delivering? What am I speaking on? And Really, once you own it, you can change it. If you don't own it, there's no change to yeah.

Jacob Jones: 21:34

Yeah, that's. Second thing that, yeah, I'm passionate about, and I think you probably are as well teaching guys to speak on stages, public speak in that type of deal is storytelling. You know, one of the you know very first things I do, right when I go into a company as I deconstruct that sales pitch I'm actually a guy that absolutely hates sales pitches. Yeah, from the road, you know, we put together what I call kind of a spine and, and the big piece of that is we implement you know what we call the core story, where you know, hey, it's just, it's basically a technique that involves developing a compelling story that communicates. You know that company's unique selling proposition to you know, what is it that separates it? Why is it different than everything else in in the marketplace?

Jacob Jones: 22:25

Yeah, and let's face it, since caveman, right from the caveman to the Egyptians to Jesus, like, we've been communicating in stories throughout time, even guys that are in the mission field now are over, you know, overseas, and they have to communicate in pictures or stories or they're non verbals Because there's a community, there's a language gap in that barrier there. I'm a firm believer those stories and storytelling is king and no matter in everything that you do. Hey, how are you teaching that? Simply because I know that can be daunting for a lot of people. Right, like, oh man, I got to come up with a story. Now Say, how are you teaching that?

Philip Sessions: 23:05

to break down, construct that story simply so they can run with it man, this is a great question and I want to start off with the quote facts tell and stories sell. Yes, you need to tell those facts, but the thing is back them up with stories, and you and I have both actually been doing this this whole podcast. We're we'll make a point, but then we'll use a story or an analogy to be able to back up that point and to really drive that point home as well. That way we can make sure that people can relate with it and understand that, and so that's what I do with my clients. It's helped them really break down what stories make sense for them.

Philip Sessions: 23:45

I wouldn't go out and talk about cars and try and relate with somebody with cars because I'm not a car person. Yes, I work at a BMW manufacturing facility those cars there, obviously but I don't know cars very well so I can't talk about that. I don't have experiences of cars. So I use experiences that I have and I try and know the other person's background, which is all part of prospecting getting to know your Prospect there and be able to ask them questions, so that way you can know little things they like. Oh yeah, you have little Johnny and Sally, your kids, there. You got your wife, janice, over here and you start oh, you know, my wife and I we love to go with our daughter over here to this park, or da da da. You just start talking about these things and having these little stories, one to just build a relate with them when you're building that rapport. But as you're going into talking about your product or service, you go and talk about Experiences that either you've personally had with that, so telling the story behind that, about how, before you had this product or service, what that was like, and then now that you have that product or service, what it is like now, and so really sharing that, or Perhaps you're helping bring in a story that would relate to them. So I don't want to say make up stories, but if you want to Mold and stretch your story a little bit to maybe include them within that story or make it where they could see themselves in this, in the Story, that's gonna be a great way as well.

Philip Sessions: 25:14

Let's take real estate salesperson, for example. You know they don't live in that house but you can sit there and kind of paint the story. Can you imagine here in this this big one acre backyard, or how you could have a place it here and a trampoline and you just watch your kids out. They're playing and having a great time and they're gonna have friends over and now, because maybe the parents, they're really about a home life. They want their kids to be at home all the time, they want to be able to watch over them and they like having people over so you can talk about that, and always just a great big backyard so you can host people over and you can bring other kids over so your kids and your family can all be here.

Philip Sessions: 25:53

And Now you're painting a picture. It's still a story, it's a made-up story, but you've painted this picture for them to be able to see that this house would be great for us because of these things. But you've taken what you know about them and what you've prospected on them, in fact find it, fact found about them from the beginning, and using that to paint this story for them, which then really sells them because you, at the end of that day, it's a three bedroom, two bath house. That's 2,000 square feet, or how many square feet, with one acre of Backyard.

Philip Sessions: 26:26

Okay, cool, that's the same as us just telling you. We're not trying to use any body language or anything descriptive. So you come in with that story and you really paint that picture in their mind so they could start seeing how, in this case, the house will fit into their life. But you do the same thing with your product or service, and so that's what I do with my clients is really take their experiences, what their product or service is, and help them be able to mold some stories that they can take as more canned stories, and then also talk to them about some tactics and tricks to be able to get that information from their potential prospect or their audience that they're going to speak to, and be able to speak in a way that they would relate to that story.

Jacob Jones: 27:12

Yeah, I think that's that. There's your a and bars right where you have to know that audience exactly. Is there saying that? I'm reminded, I'm thinking like man. This guy read Zig Ziglar.

Jacob Jones: 27:22

Zig had a Zig had a great story when he first moved from, you know, little old Yazoo City, mississippi, to Big ol Dallas, texas. He tells his wife, yeah, hey, you go find the house. He says I don't care, yeah, I just need a swimming pool. Hey, outside of the swimming pool you get whatever you want, honey. And yeah, and so she goes. She says, hey, well, honey, what's, what's the budget? He says well, hundred thousand dollars. And you know no problem. And so his wife goes with the realtor and the realtor asks her yeah, hey, what is it that you want? Yeah, what is it that your husband wants? And so she's got these things and they're going around to the house. They go to this first house and, yeah, it's like $50,000 and not a not a great part of Dallas, by the way. And so they're, they're there, he's walking through that and zig says I'm scratching my head, wonder what am I doing in this dump? Yeah, why am I here? And the realtor says, hey, I got one more house to show you. So he takes, yeah, it takes a gig. And you know, he calls her the redhead, takes it to the house and they're walking through this house and yeah, the way that he's explaining this house. Yeah, the first one. He was just like hey, take a look around. You got any questions? Let me know.

Jacob Jones: 28:38

They walk into this next house and, as you said, you know they're painting. You know this huge open floor plan, how you can entertain, have everybody here this patio. And yeah, hey, for the kids. Yeah, we got this wing set out back and we got these two. You know beautiful huge trees. You know they you'll be able to watch grow up and they start going through the house. He shows in the swimming pool, you know. So that's the one thing zig had to have. So then they get to you know the bathroom and you know they are the master bathroom. They're in there. They've got this closet. You know this big walk-in closet. He's telling her where all her shoes are gonna go and her dresses. And Right, there is the hot tub in in the thing. It's already bubbling and those lit row, yeah, rose petals on the thing. And zig says, uh-oh. He says I didn't even have to know the price. Yeah, my wife done bought this house. So when they got the price you know the price is almost twice the budget. And yeah, he says you told the joke for years that you know his wife spent you know, spent a hundred and eighty thousand dollars on, yeah, a hot tub and rose petals and he threw the rest of the house.

Jacob Jones: 29:49

I Love that analogy because it's so much is right. It's getting getting your audience so invested in that story that they can taste, feel, sense, every aspect of it. Yeah, so, yeah, that's, yes, that's where I'm passionate about you know, teaching that and really building the sales process around that. Yeah, yeah, because, frankly, it takes all the selling out right. They're almost begging you to do business at that point, like you can't leave here. Yeah, no, yeah, because in their mind they've already taken a bite out of that. So they've taste, yeah, they've tasted it, smelled it, dreamed of it at that point, yeah, it's it. Do you find, when you're coaching guys, that that is, that's easy for them to develop them stories, or do you, do you come across a lot of friction where, yeah, they're just unsure how to build those out? Yeah, what is, what does that look like?

Philip Sessions: 30:46

You know, for you there's a lot more friction than the ease of it, and I've personally struggled with this as well, because a lot of times what we think the great stories are those Heroic stories where you're the in the rags, you're we're in jail and you came out, or you're you know, I drug you, whatever, and you came out and you cleaned up and you became this Brazilian air and those are the amazing stories that everybody wants to hear about. But I feel it's just normal person had a good Home life and I decided I was gonna do something for myself and maybe I've done a little bit. Maybe I haven't become this bazillionaire or anything like that, but I've done well for myself and they think that that's not a great story to share. But the thing is it is a good story to share because there's other people that are just like you that didn't have that rags richest story. So that's where I see the hardest part is really just realizing that they do have stories worth sharing.

Jacob Jones: 31:45

Yeah, so they're stuck on the drama rather than, yeah, communicating and relating to folks that are just like them. So yeah right over their audience because they're not dramatic enough for their past. Isn't dramatic enough, exactly. I could, I could see that. What are some of the common mistakes? Yeah, and I'm gonna call red lights again that people make, philip, when they're, you know, given a public speech. Yeah, and how can they be avoided? Yeah, so that way, hey, they can get those green lights and not get hung up instead.

Philip Sessions: 32:16

Well, one they are stuck inside their own heads. They think that they're not gonna be good enough, that they shouldn't be there to speak, and maybe they're not ready to speak. If you're being Asked to speak on stage, then that means you're ready, that somebody believes in you and they believe in you enough to put them on Yours, or put you on their stage rather. So you need to first of all get out of your own head because, going back to the speaking bars method, remember, it's not about you, it's about them. So get out of your own head and make sure that you're serving that audience. As long as you are Remembering them, keeping them in mind and serving them that message, it won't be terrible. I won't say it would be amazing, because we all need to practice. We all have those bad speeches from time to time that do come up. But it'll be a lot better than if you stay in your own head and you focus on that and the other one really is just thinking that I can, I can wing it or just having no plan with that message. And so those are the really the two things that I see a lot of people do, especially First-time speakers. They think you know, I'll just go up there and wing it. I know big deal, you know, I figure it out when I get there. Oh, that's rough, unless if you're very Conversational. I say, jacob, if you hadn't really been on stages, you probably could get up there and do it, because you've got a lot of experience. You're very good at conversations, you're very good at telling stories. You probably could just get up there and not do it. But if you've never done a speech, if you're not a person that's extroverted they can have normal conversations that perhaps even does podcast and think it's a huge thing to help you with your speaking on Stages, then you're gonna need to practice that. So those are really the two big red lights that I see a lot of times.

Philip Sessions: 33:59

Another one kind of goes back to being in your own head.

Philip Sessions: 34:03

Most people think that they need to focus on not having all the ums and ahs. Most speakers will still have the ums and aus in there and you'll hear it all the time on podcasts. I'm sure you've heard both of us saying this here on the podcast of the ums and aus. The thing is those are minor things, unless if you're saying it every single other word, I wouldn't worry about that so much Of course, work to clean it up, but I wouldn't worry about that as much as that vocal variety and the body language, those things are gonna be much more impactful and beneficial to help your speech. So I guess the three things for you there, the one kind of goes back into the first or that last one kind of goes back into the first with being getting out of your own mind but focusing on what you say and all the ums and aus is a very minor detail that you shouldn't let hold you back, because that message is much more important than the ums and aus. They're not gonna distract people as much as you think they are.

Jacob Jones: 35:08

Yeah, see, I grew up in the Midwest and our version of that um and a is, you know, so constantly, you know, and I didn't realize it and somebody had pointed it out to me and for many years it actually works great in sales, because people must have just thought I was just checking to see if they were with me still, because I just dropped you, you know, and I would get a yes. So it kind of worked in my favor until I was in other settings and using it and I had a guy you know even tell me one time he says no, I don't know, because that's all I hear and it was yeah, and it was actually. It was like, oh, there's a sword on my side, but it's what I needed, I needed to hear that. So that way I became aware of it.

Jacob Jones: 35:54

It's funny because then I switched and I still use the ums and the aus in there and I was listening to, yeah, at some news station and even those news anchor I think it was Larry King, you know, one of the greatest interviewers there ever was and all I could hear was his ums and aus, because that's where my focus was at the time. So to me that was actually a little bit freeing, because I saw, hey, here's this guy that this is what he does for a living. He communicates, communicates in front of the whole world. Yeah, he's crash landing, that thing.

Jacob Jones: 36:32

So yeah it was freeing for me.

Philip Sessions: 36:35

Well, those impromptu speeches are a lot harder. I'll call it impromptu speech. I wouldn't necessarily say a podcast is a speech, but doing this impromptu speaking is definitely something that's harder to do the ums and aus. And another one because you mentioned, you know, another one people like to do that I hear a lot is write. So I'll make a statement and it'll be like write at the end of it. That's another one that it was really a filler word because you're trying to almost get that acknowledgement without somebody saying, yeah, I agree, or anything like that. You kind of maybe a little head nod or something, but before they go on, it's the same thing as the you know.

Jacob Jones: 37:12

Yeah. And what I found in that and that goes completely back to your bars again is they showed up more when I was winging it. Yeah, if I had prepared well, or if it's something I have done many times, they completely disappear. So when I had mastery of what my subject was and who I was delivering it to, magically all those filler words were out the window. So it just really made me decide, hey, I've got to prepare in those things. And then I'm thinking you also must know my pastor, because you talked about, yeah, hey, not knowing where you're going. We always tell the joke because he'll get up on Sunday morning and he'll say hey, we got three points today. 45 minutes later, we're still on point one, and he looks up and he says oh, I guess we're going to have to write these other two points down.

Jacob Jones: 38:01

So yeah, I don't think he's ever landed a plane in the 15 years that we've known him.

Philip Sessions: 38:07

That's funny.

Jacob Jones: 38:09

Let's talk coaching a little bit, phillip. Yeah, I know that's one of the things that you do there and for our listeners. By the way, if you're looking to join a community, yeah and then values learning about public speaking, then you absolutely got to check out Phillip's Facebook group. Correct me if I'm wrong. It's speaking with confidence, correct?

Philip Sessions: 38:28

Yeah, that's the free one.

Jacob Jones: 38:30

Yeah, so it's, you know. So, a free community right With hundreds of like-minded folks who are just there trying to get better game or confidence, hold those skills right I can't think of a better place, you know, than to rub shoulders with a hundred, couple hundred other folks that are looking to do that same thing. You know, I love that you put together that place and I know you've got some other coaching things as well that aren't free, but I love that you did put together. Hey, here's a safe place where folks can explore. You know, if you get some value yeah, and not everybody does that I mean, heck, I see you giving away, you know, free game daily on your social media outlets.

Jacob Jones: 39:12

Yeah, and I meet a lot of folks, you know I run into and they're gifted. They get tons of value to give, but they're afraid, you know, they're afraid of giving away that secret sauce if you will. You know I'm a big believer, right, in the value of giving and, frankly, I think it's underrated. So I'm a little curious. You know how that became such a part of who you are that you know. Hey, yes, I'm gonna coach and I'm gonna have these things, but I'm also gonna provide, you know, some free value to folks out there to improve where they are.

Philip Sessions: 39:51

I always felt like that little guy really is where that started from. I always felt that I wanted the hand up, if you will, somebody to reach down and help me get up. I was still willing to do that work, but there never seemed to be that hand to come to me. And there there has been over time now, but especially when I first was starting, it didn't really feel that way. It felt like everybody wanted to keep things themselves. They found the, the success and I'll say the quotes, and they didn't want to share that secret and I wanted to make sure I could help people and I know, at the end of the day, whether or not I get paid tons of money to do what I do, I'm doing this to be able to help other people and we talked offline a lot about the faith and the Great Commission and things like that, and that's an important thing and my faith in God. I know that things will be taken care of one way or another. Whether I do get paid lots of money while I'm here on this earth to be able to do cool things and be able to give back or not, that's fine. I've got my faith in God and that's the ultimate thing.

Philip Sessions: 40:55

But I want to really be able to help people out, and there's a lot of people that they want that help. They need that help, but they just don't have the financial means to do that. So why not give a lot of that away? And not to mention, if I'm giving a lot of information away, people are gonna know. Okay, philip knows what he's talking about, versus trying to keep this all mysterious and oh, you gotta get into my 997 course to be able to get all the information, because I'm gonna give you one of three steps and these other two are gonna help you, which, by the way, those are the two steps usually never help, are they barely help? That's not gonna get you there.

Philip Sessions: 41:34

So I just want to be able to help empower people to be able to actually take some action. And if they want some more Applicable steps and be able to kind of have more of a help you along the journey, then that's where they come with me. They don't necessarily learn a lot of extra. I do try and pour more Intention into them those that do become clients but really it's just more of me giving them time and attention and being more Specific to what it is that they're trying to do versus that free content. So that's really kind of where you get the premium, where the pay comes in. But I really just want to be able to give back and be able to arm people with that information so they could go out and apply it for themselves, be able to be better, because communication impacts us in every area of our life.

Jacob Jones: 42:22

Yes, no, I get it. I've interviewed folks sometimes and I one of the things you hear over and over somebody. Now and again We'll just say I'm not a people person and I'm always dumbfounded. I think, well, you better learn to be one real quick. So, yeah, even if you said at the top of the call or top of the podcast here, right when you said you know, hey, I'm communicating with robots, yeah, but eventually you got to communicate with the people that are communicating with the robots. So there I'm.

Jacob Jones: 42:51

Just if people understand that that are listening, every single hat Go in life. Yeah, and I'm a firm believer. God just created us this way. Yeah, that were not to be in isolation. We need to learn to communicate with other human beings. That, yeah, there's no way you could be successful outside of that to you know. Going back to your coach, and so who is your ideal client? Like, yeah, who is it that would say, hey, put their hand up and say, man, I, I need to work with Philip. Yeah, because this is what I'm trying to do in my career.

Philip Sessions: 43:26

My ideal client. Really, I'm kind of business agnostics. I can really help anybody. It is a struggle.

Philip Sessions: 43:32

I focus on the trades industry because those are the people that are very smart with their hands and they have All this knowledge in their head. But a lot of times it's hard to transfer that knowledge to somebody else within their company or Also just to be able to help the client understand that. And so a lot of times, especially nowadays, we're seeing the downtrend in people that go to trade schools and trades industries in this uptick and people that are educated. And not to say that tradespeople are dumb, it's just that they're not educated. So sometimes, speaking to those that are more educated, it's a little bit more difficult.

Philip Sessions: 44:10

And how do you explain when you have a $30,000 project that you say is only gonna take you a week? It's like it's $30,000, but it's only a week. That's a lot of money and well, yeah, $30,000 isn't anything like. How do you go about explaining some of that? How do you explain what makes you different and everything? So I focused on that trades industry, but I really want to help anybody that wants help with their communication. It can see that it can help them within their life, within their business, within any area that they need that help within, are willing to make a change. That's really who I'm going after.

Jacob Jones: 44:47

Yeah. So if you're listening, by the way, phillips talking about you and I and I say that I get that completely. I work with you know, small business owners all the time and most of them were technicians right, it was a guy hey, he was a plumber and he was a gifted plumber and, yeah, he turned around and lost his own plumbing company, but then he didn't understand hey, how do I talk to employees? You know, how do I build a sales team? How do I get sales? Hey, how do I do these things? You know. So when I view that kind of with what you're doing, it makes complete sense to me, right, because that is 99.9% of small business owners. They were a technician that now runs the company and they're missing the other aspects, yeah, that they need to launch into further success.

Philip Sessions: 45:36

So yeah, that's amazing how people skills really impact your income. Yeah, I mean everything.

Jacob Jones: 45:42

I mean, you know, frankly, it's. Yeah, I'm even thinking the stay-at-home, you know, housewife right now, like she needs to learn how to communicate better with the kids. Yeah, communicate better. Yeah, yeah, husband's wives, yeah, I mean it's, it is literally, and that's why I'd say that tongue-in-cheek, if you're listening, phillips saying you're his ideal client. You just don't know it. Yes, so, so I love that. Yeah, so a funny story. Yeah, as we're thinking there and I was looking through and you had this post, you know, not long ago, about building your own stage and, yeah, and it brought up a funny story. I was, I was thinking about it earlier today and, yeah, I was running sales, sales teams and I told this VP one time that you know, hey, I've got this dream. I had this dream to speak from a stage and Actually it probably goes back to Me as a kid watching the televangelist.

Jacob Jones: 46:37

Yeah, I mean man, you know, I'm sure I'm glad, by the way, that I didn't go that route. I might have been a hind myself into he double hockey sticks. Yeah, because I, yeah, at that time as a kid man, I was just, he had the nice suit, the chair, yeah, and he had the golden chair, all that stuff, so I thought it was cool, yeah, yeah. So at first I thought, man, I just want to be a televangelist. You know, mom told me I couldn't do that, by the way. So thanks, mom. But but anyhow, yeah. So I'm telling this VP one time like, man, yeah, yeah, I'd love to speak on the stage. And About a year and a half later they were launching some new teams, you know, here locally in Dallas. So I go in to train you know these teams and I walk in. They've got this new office and in that office, you know they've got basically stadium seating. You know they've got a bunch of chairs set up.

Jacob Jones: 47:31

This VP, he actually built a stage. You know this little, you know I don't know about eight inch, you know platform off the ground, yeah, carpeted at the whole nine. And I thought like how awesome is this? Like who does this? Yeah, like you remember, you know some why by to me fly by night conversation. You know, a year and a half prior he literally built this stage and I come in. Yeah, man, it's like the greatest thing. I know it was not. You know some, you know big production, but I'll tell you what?

Jacob Jones: 48:02

yeah, I felt like I was some movie star somebody, yeah, super famous on that stage, teaching those sales teams. You know what to do and, yes, it can you hit on. Yeah, I know that doesn't really have to go. Just what brought to mind I had to go with building your own stage, because maybe it's not an actual stage but a platform, but can you talk about that and why that? Why that was important for you build your own stage Versus sitting around waiting for somebody to invite you to their event to speak on their stage.

Philip Sessions: 48:37

Hmm. So we think sometimes this is also said in another way like building your own table versus like having a seat at the table. We hear that a lot of times with these gurus, these people that speak on stages. That's how, if there's not a seat at the table, make one. Well, sometimes you just can't make one. Maybe you don't have that opportunity, you don't have the money to invest in that, you can't get around that group of people for whatever reason. Maybe they're in a gated community. So go build your own table, go build your own stage instead.

Philip Sessions: 49:09

And that's really what I mean and meant behind it is that I didn't have the opportunity yet to be able to go be on Somebody else's stage, but I wanted to be on a stage. So, rather than sitting back and pouting or just waiting, I was gonna take some action on that, because it that's how life is. If we take action, results come from that, but Very few times there may be a time or two we're also in those. You close a deal just because you happen to be there. Maybe you're at the office, you answer the phone and somebody was wanting Something right then and there, and you were able to sell that. That's great. Those are Amazing times when that happens, but that hardly ever happens. So you have to take that action, and that's what I meant by building that stage. I wanted to start speaking on stages, so I built that stage. So one, I could say I was on a stage but two, then that shows to those people that have those stages or have that table that I want to be at. But you know what? Philip is willing to put his self on the line. He put himself out there. We want to give him a chance. Perhaps and and it did happen not Unnecessarily the stages that I was looking at just yet but it started happening because I was willing to put myself out there and put my name on the line.

Philip Sessions: 50:30

And that's oftentimes why people aren't Inviting you to their stage or their table, because they're not sure if you're ready for that yet. Because that is something that is. It's something trying to think, a good way to say this, but it's something that is sought after. A lot of people want to be around those Areas and so they have to protect themselves. That's the guard themselves. So show them that you can. They'll just go up there and ask when yes, you still should. You should show reasons why you need to be there. But go build that stage to to show them, without Asking them and telling them why you should be there. Go show them, take action on what you want to do because, like I said, you don't have to go in. Be on somebody else's stage, just be on stage. You know, build your own Sounds a little bit easier to me. It is scary, but it's going to get you a lot further by going to take an action on what you want to do.

Jacob Jones: 51:28

And I love the heart behind that. It's simple, right, where results always seem to show up after you take action. Yeah, yeah, hopefully folks don't miss that. So, phillip, thanks for hopping on today, spending time dropping knowledge on the podcast. What is the best way for folks to find you if they want to get in touch?

Philip Sessions: 51:51

You can find me on Facebook at the real Phillip Sessions, or you can go to my website, speakingsessionscom. And you can find me on LinkedIn as well at Phillip Sessions. And that's Phillip with 1L.

Jacob Jones: 52:03

Awesome. So, yeah, any parting shots, Phillips.

Philip Sessions: 52:06

Last piece of advice before we get out of here I just want to bring back up that last little point, that all those titles you mentioned that at the very beginning about all the titles that I had that all was just from taking action one thing at a time. And now all these titles that I happen to have it seems like it's a lot, but I focused on one thing at a time Did the podcast, decided to write a book, decided to get married, decided to have a kid All were just one action or multiple actions to be able to make that thing happen, but it was focused on one thing at a time. And now I have a ton of different titles. So if you are that person that is on the fence about doing something and you want to live this big life, you have all these goals. Start with the one goal first and if it's communication, I'd be happy to help you out. If it sells, I know Jacob can help you out there.

Jacob Jones: 53:03

Awesome, Guys, if you're looking for a book, right, that can help you take action on the things in life that you want to go after. So those goals, those things, that hey, that one thing that Phillip's talking about taking action here, that you've got to check out his book Mindset Over Motivation. You can get it on his website. It's on Amazon as well. So it's a game changer. It's going to help you break down barriers and go after your dreams. And for our listeners, we know you're here to avoid those red lights.

Jacob Jones: 53:32

Phillip's book is going to show you how to cruise through green light after green light after green light. And, last but not least, don't forget to tune into his podcast. Speak in Sessions. Each episode is going to feature interviews with leaders, owners at the top of their game and speaking, communicating with teams and audiences of all sizes. So, like I said, you're listening. You are his ideal client. We can all learn to communicate better, so you'll learn on his podcast how to take that communication and those skills to the next level. So join his community on Facebook. You read his book, tune into his podcast. Trust me, you won't regret it. Guys, until next time, the lights crane. So let's go.