Taking Back Control.....Simply

Taking Back Control….simply.

Some days the world is a whirlwind, you’ve got to-do stacks out the wazoo and it feels like the stage show, “Stop The World I Want To Get Off,” was written just for you.  As a result of this life in this chaos, our happiness decides to pack its bags and head off for the summer - just great.

If this is your reality it's ok, we've got you.  On this episode we chat with Kim Macdonald and Jess Niblett about how we can use the principles of simplicity to start taking back control.

This is the Happy Chicks podcast where we explore the pathways of happiness with the fluff and bullshit.

Our guests this episode:
Kim Macdonald
https://www.savvyofficesolutions.com.au/
https://www.facebook.com/SavvyOfficeSolutionsGeelong

Kim is a BAS agent and book keeper who as a single mother of three found herself in a state of overwhelm and exhaustion.  Kim’s rates simplicity as one of her top values in life and in business and shares her story from the heart.

Kim has the ability to make the complex simple and her down to earth tips and advice makes it feel like you are listening to a friend.

--------------------------------------

Jess Niblett
Lighten the Load / @lightentheloadpo
https://www.lightentheloadpo.com.au/
https://www.facebook.com/lightentheloadpo

Jess is living proof that organisation is a learnable skill. She says her house is not perfect and neither is she.

She understands first-hand the overwhelm that mess, clutter and chaos can create, and the impact this can have on the lives of everyone living or working in that space, because Jess has lived it too.

Jess loves helping busy people to lighten the mental load that they carry by helping to declutter, organise and simplify their homes or workspaces.

She doesn't believe in judging, shaming, taking life too seriously, or making everything perfect. What Jess does believe in is compassion, understanding and making progress over perfection.

Prior to establishing my business, Jess was a secondary school teacher for over a decade. She lives on a farm near Lismore with her husband and two boys where they operate a transport/contracting business as well as growing cereal crops and prime lambs.

Transcript

Loretta Hart 0: 0:10

00 It's time to take back control, simply our happiness via simplicity, which suggests that life gets to feel great when we take options that involve the least amount of moving parts, so that it generates the least amount of stress, while feeling satisfied that you've done a great job. But how do we do this? How do we apply the process of simplicity? When we feel like we have got more plates spinning and more balls in the air that we know what to do with and we have surrounded by complications and stress? In this episode, I'm talking to Kim McDonald, bass agent, and bookkeeper who loves to take things from the complex to the simple and Jess Niblett, a professional organiser who's gone from overwhelmed and stressed mum, to a woman living with more ease and flow. We chat about what we know about simplicity, how we can implement it in our lives. And where are we seeing it show up? Day to day? Come and join us? Welcome to the habit geeks podcast. Each episode we explore a different pathway to happiness we also guess, and may your host Loretta Hart. I'm a happiness strategist who loves nothing more than helping you find your happy. The Happy chicks podcast, happiness chat, without the fluff and bullshit Hey, ladies, welcome. Thank you so much for being part of the podcast. Let's just dive in straightaway. I want to know we are going to talk about simplicity and help it how it helps us you know create more happy in our lives. Because where have you found your happy this week? Where have you is it been under a rock has been hiding? Has it been front and centre? Can we have you found your happy this week?

Kim Macdonald 2: 0:35

23 Oh 100%. That would be my morning coffee. Literally, life does not start until that coffee. I'm sitting and enjoying that. Before I get into work every morning after doing the crazy key thing. Yep, definitely morning coffee. Happy right there.

Loretta Hart 2: 0:40

39 I love that. I love the habit. You just work and you're happy this week.

Jess Niblett 2: 0:45

42 Oh, well. I went to Melbourne on the weekend with my boys and my mum as well. And the first time any of us have been to Melbourne in a year and it was just so good to get down there and see some wife coming back to the city and do some fun stuff and eat good food. It was awesome.

Loretta Hart 2: 0:50

58 I love that. She might my heavy was in Melbourne as well, this week. My 15 year old I can talk about a heat because she's never going to listen to his podcast and be embarrassed. We went she plays rec basketball. And so after the basketball game, where she wouldn't stay that my mother in law's in Melbourne so we could have a bit of a morning in Melbourne the next day. And she said to me which video was sleeping, and I was like the one you're not sleeping in? And she said, Do you want to sleep with me? And so we got into bed together. And she said you want to watch this one of our episodes of this makeup show we're watching. I'm not really into makeup. But we're watching this thing together. So we snuggled watching the laptop together in

Jess Niblett 3: 0:55

43 bed. So oh, wait, no, it ain't gonna

Loretta Hart 3: 1:00

47 happen forever. So I'm taking it wherever I can get it. Hey, ladies, we're gonna talk about simplicity today. And how we can use simplicity and keeping things simple to create more joy and more happiness in life. And I've been writing about simplicity I've been it's one of the chapters in my book, hence why we're talking about it here. And I'm excited that I've got you both here because before we started recording, I might have said that simplicity and I don't always meet in the same street. We don't always get along. But from what I know about you both this is sort of one of your operating systems. It's sort of how you both you know get along in life. So can you tell me I'll go with you first Kimmy, like what does simplicity mean to you like when I say the word what comes to mind?

Kim Macdonald 4: 1:05

42 The first two words that come to my mind at ease and flow with having simplicity it means that I get to focus on just a few things rather than trying to do it all that I did that show

Jess Niblett 4: 1:10

59 you maybe You don't have to do it all. Okay? No, you don't have to do it all

Loretta Hart 5: 1:15

04 that just to one side? What does it mean? What do you think of like what comes to mind when you hear about simplicity?

Jess Niblett 5: 1:20

12 Well, you might be surprised to hear that the idea is simplicity is a feeling you want my life. I think I think a lot of people, especially women come to simplicity after they've reached a point in their life where the sheet has hit the fan, or they've gone to the bottom of a barrel, and realise that they just cannot continue living in a hectic sort of way that they have been. And that's probably where I came across. Or like, how the idea sort of entered my life. And so to me, I think now it's sort of cutting bullshit. It's cutting expectations that I have upon myself. And I guess my sort of entry into this whole way of living life a little bit differently was probably through decluttering. And then that's how I got into professional organising.

Loretta Hart 6: 1:25

02 I love that. So. So when you when you like the ever you've you've stepped into first is to decluttering. So basically, there was was the external chaos? Is that what we're looking at? Is that what you're noticing around you?

Jess Niblett 6: 1:30

16 Yeah, I think I just literally tried to put Well, I had I put too much on my plate. I was trying to do too much at once. And I probably reached a point where I was completely burnt out. Because I was working my kids were really little, my husband has a hectic workload or on a farm, we do a lot of travelling, you know, like, there was just too much. And then yeah, I came across the idea actually, like I've never even really considered it before, maybe had dismissed it as rubbish. But a friend had recommended book, my calories podcast, simple. Slow your home, it's called. And I was just scanning through that one day, before I listened to it. And I saw an episode that had a professional organiser on it. And I was like, oh my god, I'd love to be organised. So listen to this. And that was when I'd first heard about decluttering. And it kind of just set off a light bulb on my head in my head. And I just slowly started going through my entire house. And then I started to like later down the track, apply it to stuff like social calendar, and you know what I expected of myself. And you know, every part of my life where I've just started to go, stop, you need to really think about what you're taking on here.

Loretta Hart 7: 1:35

31 Cool. Okay. So Kim, how does it play out for you? Like, what does it look like? Simplicity for you, in your in your day work? Where does it show up most?

Kim Macdonald 7: 1:40

41 I'm just sitting here nodding my head in agreement with jest because everything you've just said is so relevant and true to even my own story of finding simplicity. It was literally going through that process of just complete and utter overwhelm, and pretty much at that point of completely having a breakdown. And for me, I first came across simplicity as actually part of doing business mentoring and learning my values in business. And I was like, actually, simplicity is a core value for me in the work that I do. So with bookkeeping, and trying to educate clients, I wanted to make this the most simple things for them. So as you've said to me, Loretta, I make the complex, simple when it comes to bookkeeping, and understanding your finances. And then it wasn't until like 1218 months later, I went, Oh, my goodness. So actually, my business values and my personal values can actually be the same, actually don't have to be completely separate. And that was like, I don't even know how it came about it. And I was like, That is such a lightbulb moment. So when I started to put simplicity into my own personal values, everything started to change. And just as you said, Yes, I started to declutter my house. I started to declutter my thoughts. I started to declutter everything in my social calendar and stop saying yes to everything. So the first thing I did was actually started saying no. And that was probably the hardest thing that I ever had to do was because I was so capable, I could do everything. And you've known me for a long time already. You know, the process I went through, and you helped me a lot through that process of going, actually, Kim, do you have to do it? I'm like, Yes, of course. I can, because I can do it. But you don't have to. Oh, you're Yeah, don't have to. Yeah, so by doing that, that's how simplicity plays out in my life. Now it's in every aspect. Its inverse person, personal and business. And yeah, by following that, I can then have freedom of choice. It opens up so many doors for me Biden not being overwhelmed or having too much going on in any one time in any one space. Because everything impacts you. Chaos has a way of creeping in and just being consuming.

Loretta Hart 10: 1:45

14 I love it. I'm so glad you mentioned that cue because my introduction to simplicity, was you. So, if you remember this, but I have a very vivid memory. I was doing a happy chicks coaching programme. And you were on the call one night, Kim, and we were talking about values. Yeah. Now. I mean, our values are such amazing guideposts for us. You know, I really think they underpin their foundation, things that support us in who it is we want to be and who it is we want to be remembered for and who would end and the what's important to us, and how we set our boundaries, and all the things that shape, what sort of life we get to live is really impacted by our values. And we had gone through an exercise about our personal values, and we'll sharing them and more sort of pulling them apart and teasing them out and understanding more about them and understand more about ourselves. And Kim said one of her core values was simplicity. And you know, that emoji were the minds popping off. Well, I remember actually being really, like really struck by that word. Because it had never occurred to me that things could be simple, or have ease about them.

Jess Niblett 11: 1:50

35 It seems like such an obvious thing when you're kind of doesn't it? And it does. Yeah. Like, it's so surprising that you would never think of it. And now when you've sort of had that lightbulb moment, it's, you wonder how you did it never occurred to you before?

Loretta Hart 11: 1:55

51 I know, I know. I know. Totally. And I remember thinking at the time that like you're saying him capable women, like you know, we get shit done. You know, if you want something done, ask a busy person, or you know, all that sort of stuff. And I just had this mental image of myself as being a tough chick who could get shit done. And so less like I had reinforced and reinforced and reinforced that by constantly having to work through complicated shit. But pretty much the complicated shit was in created by me. Do you know what I mean? Like I wasn't, I was never looking for the ease or the flow or the path.

Jess Niblett 12: 2:00

30 Yeah. But Loretta, I think that easy. And be, you know, having a hectic work workload is really glorified in our culture as well. And I think I've really been guilty of that before, through thinking that, you know, if I am completely flat out and don't have time to scratch myself that that makes me a little bit superior to other people that might have time to lay on the couch and watch Netflix or whatever. Like, and yeah, I've really had to do a 180 on that and call bullshit on myself. Because I think it's a really unhealthy thing to Yeah, kind of keep going like that.

Loretta Hart 13: 2:05

06 I've got this mental image that people have these benches that say busy on them, and they win and with great pride, and yeah, I'm just so busy. I'm just gonna take Janine to ballet, and then I've got to kick up. Yeah, Francis, back to basketball and, and it's like, are you listening to yourself? Like, you're not? There's no joy in this. But it's

Jess Niblett 13: 2:10

24 something that we've been sold or encouraged to behave in that way. I think that there's external factors that come into that. I don't think it's just people creating that for themselves. No, I

Loretta Hart 13: 2:15

38 think you're like,

Kim Macdonald 13: 2:20

39 I agree. Yes. And I think also, you can't know what you don't know. So like you just said, Laura, if you've never considered the word simplicity, to be a thing in your life, if there's multitudes of people out there that have never considered that actually, things can be easy, like, so you can't know that until you've actually got to that point of maybe complete, not a burnout. Because you do all the things and you wear all the badges and you wear all the hats and you do all the things. And then you go yeah, it's just not working for me. It becomes a part of your identity, too, I think. And that makes the change. Tricky. Yeah. And simple is not always easy, either. No, it's because just because you use the word simple and simplicity. That process itself is not easy. Sometimes you have to do a lot of hard things to make things become simple.

Loretta Hart 14: 2:25

27 That's right. Simple to me is about less moving parts. Because the more parts that move, the more stress and friction that is possible. But you're right being able to that's not always the easiest thing to convince others of or to convince yourself or all those sort of things as well.

Kim Macdonald 14: 2:30

49 Absolutely any in every way to so if you take into consideration, say from a work angle. It might be really simple for you to continue doing the work that you're currently doing. and not teach anyone else how to do it because you can do it better and quicker and easier, because you know what you need to do. However, if you did set up a process and procedure and taught someone else how to do it, and then that could be, you know, rolled out across a lot of employees down the track, or to educate training people, that's actually creating simplicity for yourself, because it removes you from doing that job. But in essence, you have to create that process or procedure in the first place. So that may not be so easy. So to create the simplicity, you have to go through a little discomfort first and the same, you know, in a personal life, you know, if you want to be fit healthy, inactive, sometimes it's not just easy to get to that point. And to create the simplicity of being fit healthy, inactive, you have to put things in place to be able to do that, like adding on extra things. To your routine, like you I know, I've had this discussion with you before Loretta, how, you know, just by is it stacking things on to what you might do in the morning to then create? Yeah, yeah. So you know, setting your runners out in the morning to go for a walk, that's creating the simplicity in that step of doing that. But for your end goal to get to fit healthy, active. You know, that whole process before, that's not so easy. So true.

Loretta Hart 16: 2:35

20 I really think for me, what simplicity comes down to when you boil it right down is fear knowing actually what's actually important for you, and then taking the steps that move you towards that? Absolutely. I think I think what you're saying a minute ago, just in the external pressures, and the external expectations, or whatever, that that gets us into this busy hustle sort of framework. I think sometimes we haven't stopped a pause to think about what's actually really important, and what is it that I really want, as opposed to being on this treadmill of

Jess Niblett 16: 2:40

57 crazy? Yeah, I think sometimes that's why it takes that point of Vitiate, hitting fan of burnout or whatever, for people to really, you know, separate the wheat from the chaff and work out what is important to them what they need to hold on to and what has to be let go. Like, I'm not saying that's the right way to go about it. But I think that's why a lot of people sort of, you know, come to the realisation that they have to simplify things. It's because they've been to that point where it's just chaos and hectic and that sort of thing. And that's where they start to work out what's important and what needs to be dropped off.

Kim Macdonald 17: 2:45

35 Yeah, I think is part of that too. And I fully agree just that I know, only from my own experience. When I was at that point of burnout. I actually didn't know what I did want. Just knew what I didn't want. Yeah, yep. Yeah. So I think I know, I kept going through the process of going, Okay, what do I want? What do I want? And I just kept going into overwhelm go, I can't work out what I want. Like, I just don't know. I didn't know what I didn't know. Like, I couldn't get to that point. So just even starting at the very base steps of going, Okay, what don't I want? I don't want to be completely exhausted by the end of the day. Okay. What can I do in the steps today? To make it so that I'm not exhausted?

Jess Niblett 18: 2:50

16 Yeah. Yeah, sorry to interrupt Kim. But I was about to say, often, if you're with a client and helping them to declutter, the first thing you start with is rubbish. It's like the obvious stuff that you can get rid of, to help make everything else so that it creates

Kim Macdonald 18: 2:55

31 the space doesn't it and it's the same in your own mind, it creates a space just even knowing that you've done one thing that day to lessen your load helps to create more brain space. Yep.

Loretta Hart 18: 3:00

44 Go for the low hanging fruit.

Kim Macdonald 18: 3:05

45 All that absolutely. wins. Yeah,

Loretta Hart 18: 3:10

49 have a quick one. I've been pondering I've been thinking about people in my life are people that I can see, you know, out there in the world that do simplicity well, and other than you, Kim, who has who has been my role model around this, I, I get a bit stumped about whose job so I'd love to hear who you think. But who actually comes to mind for me is little kids, about four years old, are again, little kids, they tend to do simplicity. Well, they just put on whatever clothes is on the floor. Or if they're, you know, someone who likes twists, 27 layers, they put on 27 layers, and then they just go and find the joy. You know, like they got all my friends simply, you know, you know, you've got a car. I've got a guy. Yeah. You know, like, I think that I think simplicity is accessible. When we're little, because it's just because it's just the it's something that we were born into. And we tend to complicate things as we get older. Who do you see doing simplicity? Well? Oh, gosh, I

Jess Niblett 19: 3:15

56 struggle to think of one person like straight up, I guess, like I've consumed a lot of this sort of content, I suppose in a way in the last couple of years. So I sort of draw from a lot of I don't think there's one person who I think does an amazing job but I've consumed lots of you know, slow living minimalist decluttering organising sort of stuff and I definitely wouldn't say that I am any of those things, but I think a lot of I don't know they all have sort of similar ideas, but I guess even hearing notable women speak about this sort of stuff is helpful and I know if you google it Sally Hepworth has a no list which I found awesome. She just you know, has a list of she that she says no to. And that's similar to Holly Wainwright was speaking about that yesterday, too. I was listening to her. And this is that quote that I was telling you guys about before but you want to hear it. She said what women really need to hear is not how women do at all. No, we need to hear what what other women aren't doing. And I think like it's nice to hear when Yeah, when you see social media all the time, I think we tend to amalgamate all those experiences that other people are posting, and think that everybody is doing all of those things. So sometimes when you hear someone say, like, oh, no, like, I don't clean my bathrooms, make my beds, clean my floors, wash my windows, I don't do any of that. Like sometimes it's really refreshing. My kids don't do after school sport. I don't throw birthday parties. I do not make them elaborate cakes. Like sometimes it's really refreshing to hear.

Kim Macdonald 21: 3:20

33 Yeah,

Jess Niblett 21: 3:25

34 what we're not doing so like, I guess I don't have one person that I look to, to that sort of thing. But I really find it encouraging to draw from lots of different people speaking about that sort of thing.

Loretta Hart 21: 3:30

45 And just just so everyone knows, just doesn't make her bed. Night. Sometimes. You have 27 cushions and they all match. Now

Kim Macdonald 21: 3:35

58 that's chaos, the righto 27 questions is way too much. That's called vilification. That term, Kim, I'm

Jess Niblett 22: 3:40

06 gonna steal that.

Loretta Hart 22: 3:45

08 That's good. Give me someone come to mind for you?

Kim Macdonald 22: 3:50

11 No, honestly, I, I don't believe I think simplicity is different for everyone. So I don't know how you can find it in any one person. I have multitudes of people around me that they do simple things in different ways because of what's important to them. So you're right, those little kids are great, because they don't know what it's like to be an adult yet. They don't know any of that stuff. So they get to be them wholly and truly and completely. So there is a beauty in that. So I think that there's, you can say simplicity in lots of people in lots of different ways. And it really just depends on what is simple for them. Because my simple and your simple could be really different. I agree.

Loretta Hart 22: 3:55

55 Totally. I thinking about ways that people get into learning mostly simply or once they can adopt simplicity. And obviously thinking about things that I've done in the past without really even recognising this where I was doing. And one of them is my hair. And I know that they're like I had this haircut for those who don't say my hair, I have quite a short hairstyle. And my boys called it the Hmong cat. Because that's what lots of moms had you got the mouth, cat and white one. And like, well, you know what, because it's really the lookout. And I think a lot of bad. The other thing that I noticed myself doing is what I actually really love to do on a Sunday is a massive big cook up. And while I do I do like quazi meal planning, I sort of walk around the supermarket going yep, yep, I'll have that I'll have that year. Meats, something with meat, something with chicken thighs, it'll all come together when I get home. But I did have a big cook up on a Sunday afternoon. And I might make a batch of sausage rolls and put in all the scary vegetables that are sitting in the bottom of the crossbar. Or I might make a you know, egg and bacon pie and an eye. If I'm going to chop one onion, I'll chop five. I don't love chopping onions. So I'm like, okay, that's the spaghetti bowl, and I started and that's a curry going and I will sort of have four or five things on the go. Because then what that does is it makes the rest of my week simple.

Jess Niblett 24: 4:00

31 I love that the radar and that's something that I really want to do. And I'm just not there yet. But I am thinking like, my kids are both at school now. And now that COVID sort of eased off. I'm finding that I have a lot more spare time and that's like a bit of a goal of mine to start getting my shit together with batch cooking and stuff like that. I don't do meal plans either. I do a bit the same as you walk around the supermarket and pick bits and bobs and then I come home and I write a list of meal ideas on my switchback. That's as far as I get. Sorry. Anyway, I think I've just taken you down a rabbit hole that you were talking about what you do on Sundays.

Loretta Hart 25: 4:05

06 But I was also asked, my question is like, if someone's just starting out, and they're looking to create a little bit more simplicity, like, what sort of things do you suggest? What sort of things worked for you? What do you notice that is, you know, and everyone's different and and, you know, there's simplicity in our businesses, in our, in our physical environment, in our health, in our relationships. In those are things I've got a few things listed down, but I'm keen to know, what would you suggest to people? Like, how do you sort of get started? For me,

Kim Macdonald 25: 4:10

40 I was in a situation where I was in burnout as a single parent running a business with really challenging children. And I was at that point where I went, Okay, I don't know what I do want, but what don't I want. And for me, the biggest things was I was running out of energy by sort of mid afternoon every day, and not sleeping properly. So for me, I started to work out okay, what can I reduce, to start to give myself space? So for me, I started saying no, as I mentioned earlier, I started saying no to commitments, and actually started removing myself from I, you know, I was volunteering with the little athletics group, and I was, you know, part of a big business circles that you had to meet weekly and have lots of extra extra meetings. And I was the vice president of that, and I went, actually, no, I need to step back. And I actually need to start to focus on me, I couldn't work out what I wanted. But I knew that I was at the core of all of it. And I needed to look after myself. So what could I put in place to look after myself saying no, trying to get better sleep, better food. And then from there, things started to open up and I could start to work towards other things. But that was probably my biggest thing. And the biggest if you're in that situation of burnout, that's what I recommend you start there, basically, yeah,

Loretta Hart 27: 4:15

13 I like it. Thanks, Kimmy.

Jess Niblett 27: 4:20

15 Yeah, I probably got a few things to touch on there. I think, my, my time where I sort of felt completely spent. I think most of that came from my career. So I was a secondary school teacher for a long time. And when my kids were really little, I made the mistake of thinking that my feeling of disengagement at work, I thought, what would make that better, spending more time at work taking on more responsibilities, like what an idiot. But over time, I realised that that I just had to step away from that, because by the time I got home, I had spent all of my patients and you know, all of my good sort of vibes, I suppose, with kids were spent on those ones in the classroom all day, and then I would get home and I would just be savage towards my own children. And that was not okay. So yeah, I sort of stepped away from that curry, I realised it was really toxic for me, and took a long time to do that. But I think in terms of like, an entry level thing, for people who are looking for simplicity, it was decluttering. For me, like, I know, it sounds stupid, but the permission to get rid of stuff was a big one, just, you know, and then to look at things differently, at really, what are the essentials? What sort of crap Can I strip away what is sitting in cupboards, that doesn't serve me anymore? That was sort of my gateway drug, I suppose the other thing I see. And this doesn't really apply to me. But as a teacher, working with kids, and then, you know, hearing about colleagues and what they were doing with their kids, I think the commitments that you that you have with your children, I sort of think you need to listen to your kids sometimes around whether they are happy doing all of those. Like if your kid wants to play sport five nights a week, and they're passionate about it, that's okay. But think about their energy levels and your energy levels and whether they need to be doing swimming lessons basketball, piano, dance, and karate, all at the same time. Like, I do not know how people do that. I think that's something that I think we should question as well. It's not a judgement. I just think if you're feeling burnt out have a look at the schedule that you're trying to put your family through.

Kim Macdonald 29: 4:25

39 For sure. I agree. Yeah, absolutely.

Loretta Hart 29: 4:30

42 I'm sometimes in mother's you know, family groups like Facebook groups and someone say I've got a three year old what's what activities she's already doing, like, how about Playdough, how about sandpit How about

Jess Niblett 29: 4:35

55 Dan caustic?

Loretta Hart 29: 4:40

59 We went to Queensland with our boys. And they're about six and four, and was the first time we took them on an aeroplane. And we went to Mooloolaba like, staying in this high rise apartment and we went to underwater world and we play with you know, we did all these things and went out to restaurants. And we had this, you know, this guy created this family holiday. And I remember flying home and saying to the boys, what was the best thing? We do the holidays?

Transcribed by https: 4:45

//otter.ai