Escalation Loops in Conflict: Understanding and Interrupting the Cycle in Divorce

Divorce Coaches Academy

Divorce Coaches Academy
Escalation Loops in Conflict: Understanding and Interrupting the Cycle in Divorce
Feb 25, 2026 Season 1 Episode 199
Tracy Callahan and Debra Doak

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We break down escalation loops in co‑parenting, why they entrench, and how divorce coaches can interrupt them with practical, evidence‑informed tools. We share the pause protocol, BIF writing, nervous‑system resets, and real‑time awareness checks that end reactive volleys and protect the long game.

• definition of escalation loops and why they persist in divorce
• reactive communication and negative reciprocity mechanics
• amygdala hijack and dysregulation as baseline conditions
• pattern entrenchment and confirmation bias reinforcing the story
• the pause protocol as an active strategy
• choosing structured channels and using BIF for concise replies
• loop awareness questions to stop mid‑exchange
• regulate first, respond second using body‑based tools
• reframing the real goal from winning arguments to stable co‑parenting
• the coach’s role as steady, strategic partner

If today’s episode was useful to you, please share it with a colleague, leave a review wherever you listen to your podcast, or come find me at the DCA community. And if you would like to learn more about the training we provide to support the professional practice of divorce coaches, please check us out at divorcecoachesacademy.com


This episode includes a sponsored segment featuring Soberlink, a court-recognized alcohol monitoring system designed to support families navigating divorce and co-parenting. Soberlink provides objective, real-time accountability that helps reduce conflict, increase trust, and support safer parenting arrangements when alcohol use is a concern. Learn more about Soberlink and their professional resources at soberlink.com.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

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