Whose Advice Are You Listening To? Protect Your Second Act Business Dream | #232

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Whose advice have you been listening to lately? If you’re planning a career change, starting a second act, or trying to quit your 9 to 5 to start a business, the wrong advice can quietly derail you before you even get momentum.

In this episode of the Second Act Success Podcast, business coach and bestselling author Shannon Russell shares a simple rule to help you filter advice with confidence: only take advice from people who have your goals, or who have already done what you’re trying to do. Because when you ask people who haven’t made bold moves, their guidance often comes from fear, not experience.

You’ll learn how to spot fear-based advice, protect your dream in the early stages, and find the right support through mentors, coaches, communities, and other women who have truly reinvented themselves.

*Get the full show notes here!

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Transcript

Second Act Success Podcast

Season 1 - Whose Advice Are You Listening To? Protect Your Second Act Business Dream | #232

Episode - #232

Host: Shannon Russell

Transcription (*created by Descript and may not be perfectly accurate)

What advice are you listening to

[00:00:00] 

Shannon Russell: Whose advice have you been listening to lately?

Welcome back to the second Act Success podcast. I am your host, business coach and bestselling author Shannon Russell. I want to talk about something that can quietly derail your second act if you're not careful, and that is who you're listening to because not all advice is created equal, even when it's coming from people who love you.

So I ask you, who have you been taking advice from lately, especially when it comes to starting a second act and creating that business of yours and following your passion and, and maybe it's a business or maybe it's changing careers, or maybe it's writing a book or starting a podcast or taking on some other creative venture.

When you're making that leap or you're making a transition of any kind, the advice you get should match the [00:01:00] goal. Here's one simple rule that I want you to remember, and I kept this in my heart as I made my transition from television into entrepreneurship.

My rule was, and my rule is still today, and the advice I give my clients is only take advice from people who have similar goals or people who have already done what you're trying to do. This is so important, asking advice means we are unsure.

We want someone else to tell us what to do or what direction to go in, or we're conflicted and we're not sure really what our path should look like or what's next, or am I starting the right type of business or am I moving into a career change, or, venturing into entrepreneurship at the right time.

These questions are all completely valid and there's. So, so normal. But when you ask your partner or your parents, or your best friend, or someone [00:02:00] who hasn't changed careers or hasn't made a leap into something different in outside of the box, that advice you're going to get is going to be very different than the advice you might get from someone who has walked the walk and been there running through that path ahead of you.

I suggest if you're starting a business, listen to business owners. If you're changing careers, listen to people who have made career transitions. If you're building a second act of any kind, listen to people who have been successful reinventing themselves most importantly, people who believe that reinvention and starting over is possible.

Some the rule is advice only works when it comes from lived experience. I can't advise you on what it's like to be in an operating room performing a heart transplant. I am not a doctor. I have not been there, so [00:03:00] I don't know what that experience is like. I can tell you what it's like to be on a red carpet, live on national television, interviewing a celebrity.

I can tell you what it's like to launch a business and run a team. I can tell you what it's like to sit on client calls and help someone else form their business. Those are all lived experiences that I have lived and experienced. So I can give you advice on any of those things if you want it, but I cannot give you advice on something that I haven't done.

So thinking about that, think about again on the flip side, why maybe asking your family or your friends for advice can be a little tricky. Most family members and close friends of course mean well they love you and they want you to be safe but sometimes they can unintentionally.

Hold you back from the direction you're moving into.

If they have never [00:04:00] started a business, if they have never left a stable job, if they have never written a book or done something creative and put it out into the world, then they don't know the risks of that and they can't advise you. On how that will be, because their perceptions of that are most likely built in fear of that unknown.

And ooh gosh, you're going from a steady paycheck into creating a business

where it depends on how much you sell. That really dictates how much you bring home.

So when you ask someone like that, you're going to hear all of those scary questions like, are you sure that sounds risky? What if it doesn't work out? Why would you leave something so stable? But I thought you were happy. , Why are you doing this? All of these questions of worry.

Worry for you because of that amount of care and love and concern. So they're not necessarily trying to stop [00:05:00] you from moving forward and, and venturing into this new goal, but they're trying to protect you based on what they would do. I have to say that again. Your family and friends who have not ventured into any kind of second act are trying to protect you, but they're doing it based on what they would do.

But my friend, protection and progress don't always live in the same place, right? You can want to protect yourself. Of course, we all do when we're venturing to something that's a little risky or unknown, but that doesn't necessarily help us move along in a positive way and progress towards that goal.

I can speak from lived experience in the fact that when I chose to leave my television career and venture into the unknown of what will I do next, I was confronted with those same questions and it is uncomfortable, and that's where I decided. For myself internally to just focus on what felt right for [00:06:00] me and my children, my little kids who I was trying to be more present for and thinking about again, my why and why I was doing this.

I really did a lot of internal talking spending time with myself to figure out what that was before I let anyone else change my mind.

 Think about it, when you're looking to buy a car, you're going to do your research and find out what car is really within my price range, my style, and will work best for me and my lifestyle. You're not going to ask someone about Card Vice if they don't drive. another example is college. If you're looking at colleges and you're, you're trying to get advice, are you going to ask someone who has yet to go to college or even more, someone who chose not to go to college?

No, because their idea of what that next step is, is very different than yours If you are exploring those opportunities.

Now, fear-based advice isn't always bad. It's [00:07:00] just a little biased in the sense of, Ooh, maybe you shouldn't do that thing. Or, Ooh, maybe that's a little too scary. Don't you wanna stay over here where it's nice and warm and safe. You just wanna be able to notice that distinction when you're having those conversations.

Because it doesn't mean that person is wrong or negative or unhappy with their own lives or anything like that. It just means that they don't have the context about the situation that you do, and they haven't walked that path. They haven't built that business, they haven't made that leap. So their brain goes straight to the worst case scenarios.

that doesn't mean that those scenarios will or will not happen. It just means they don't have the experience to see that it might be possible. just maybe you'll be able to leave this job, start that business, and find yourself even happier. Six months from now,

if you are considering a second act of any kind, you are looking at things with more rose colored glasses, , you are looking at the possibilities of what this [00:08:00] next chapter in your life will look like and that is driving you to move forward.

Not the fears. Not the risks. If those were driving you, then you would stop. Instead, you are learning, educating yourself, and figuring out this new path to lead you to what you are hoping will be on the other side.

my advice is to, of course, know your why. Know why you're making this change, and then reach out for honest, helpful advice from people who have been there. And that can be a fellow business owner. When I launched my very first business, which was a franchise, I got in touch with a company

and I got on the phone and I talked to not only the CEO of the company. I talked to other franchisees, other business owners around the country that were already running this particular franchise, and I asked them what it was like, how was their income? What were the stresses? Were they working full-time outside of this?

I really did my due diligence and I leaned on the advice of those people who were [00:09:00] thinking like me and had done what I want to do, and that was the most valuable. Step I think that I did in that exploration process. So I, I turn that back over to you and say, find a fellow business owner. Find someone who has already moved into that realm that you want to be in and find a fellow career changer.

Maybe they aren't opening the same business, but they've made some other kind of transition, and there are a few steps ahead of you so you can ask them what that experience was like. You can ask a coach or a mentor, someone who works with people who make transitions all the time,,

or someone who knows the field you're going into. There are business coaches, there are life coaches, there are happiness coaches. So thinking about where you want to go and find a coach that will have that advice and experience and can be that hand holder to get you from where you are to that next step where you want to be.

 You can also look at a community. [00:10:00] So sometimes you can look around and think , I don't have anyone in my circle. I don't have anyone I can reach out to. Well, there are so many communities online. You can go on LinkedIn, you can go on Facebook, you can just Google and find different.

Communities where people are thinking like you or working in the field that you want to go into, or the business industry that you're thinking about, and you can read the comments and ask questions and meet people online. I mean, we're so lucky to live in this time where there's so much online that we can lean into and get our education that way from people who we may never meet in real life.

It's very, very cool. They're going to say, yeah, this is scary, and here's how I handled it. Here is how I combated that fear. yes, there are challenges, and here's what actually matters. Here's how you can overcome these challenges.

Here is my advice for you of how I overcame not having income for six months.

They may say, [00:11:00] yes, it's possible because I've lived it, and here's what you can look out for, or, here is what worked for me that may work for you. That advice is so much better than the scared fear advice, right? That advice doesn't come from theory and guessing. It comes from actual lived experience,

 I have to say, one of the biggest mistakes I see with women who share their second act idea a little early, or they share it with everyone and ask, what do you think?

What do you think? If they do that before they're ready, they are most of the time going to revert back to the path that they're currently on. And they're not going to make that move. They're gonna say, this big idea is what I'm thinking. And then they're not going to act on it because they are going to be scared or they're going to hear responses that they weren't expecting not everyone deserves access to your dreams and the inside of your brain and what you're thinking about, because at this stage, [00:12:00] when you're thinking about what am I going to do? What type of business am I going to open? How am I going to actually make this second act thing work?

You're really fragile, you're vulnerable. You're very sensitive and self-conscious. You are looking for the answers, but they need to be on your terms. You are allowed to be selective in who you share those goals with, so you can protect yourself. You're allowed to say, you know what, this person might not be my sounding board for this.

They can be my best friend, and they can be the person I tell everything to, but I might just hold off on this one piece for now until I feel confident and I feel better about my decision because I don't wanna be swayed. I advise my clients quite often, and I think I've shared it here on the podcast, but I always advise to keep your ideas close to your chest.

Don't tell your partner, don't tell your family. Tell those trusted people with the lived experience, those [00:13:00] coaches, those mentors, those other business owners, \ Those other career changers, tell them what you're thinking, but hold it close to your chest and protect that dream in this early stage.

And it doesn't make you secretive. It doesn't make you sneaky. It makes you smart because you're protecting yourself and your idea. Before it can get broken or hurt by someone else.

The next time someone gives you advice, ask yourself, would I trade places with this person when it comes to my career or my life?

If you are looking at someone, I'm gonna use Oprah because I love her so much. I'm gonna say, would I trade places with Oprah when it comes to my career and my lifestyle? 1000%. 1000000%, yes. So therefore. I would appreciate her experience, her lived experience to help me. If you answer no to that question about the person [00:14:00] you're thinking about asking advice from, if your answer is no, you would not trade places with that person.

You are not envious of their career or their lifestyle, then take their advice with a grain of salt. You can love someone so deeply and still not take their advice. So remember that. If you remember anything from this episode, remember that you can love someone deeply and still not want to take their advice to heart.

 Alright, it's time to wrap up this episode, but remember.

What you're looking for at this stage is guidance, and you need the right guidance so that you can grow as a person, so that you can grow this business so you can take this next step in your life. And I don't want anything to stop that. I want you to be able to move forward with the confidence from getting the great advice that you deserve so that you can plan your second act

and say, hell yeah, that is where I'm going and that is who I want to be in my [00:15:00] second act. I hope this was helpful. If you need more advice, if you'd like to chat, feel free to reach out to me. There are links in the show notes below. I have a free strategy call.

You can click the button on secondactsuccess.co and let's chat. Let's talk about your plans. Let me give you advice from someone who has been there and let's get you started on the right foot. Okay. Head out into the world. Have an amazing day, and take care of yourself.

Take care of those goals, protect those dreams, and I will see you on the next episode of the Second Act Success podcast.

Speaker: Thank you for joining us. I hope you found some gems of inspiration and some takeaways to help you on your path to second act, success. To view show notes from this episode, visit second act success.co. Before you go, don't forget to subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss a single episode. Reviews only take a few moments and they really do mean so much.

Thank you again for [00:16:00] listening. I'm Shannon Russell. And this is second act success.