The Pain We Don't Talk About: Men's Health, Migraines, and Silent Struggles

That nagging headache you keep brushing off might be the most honest messenger in your life. We start with a real moment: I wake up with a different kind of headache, the kind that won’t negotiate, and it pushes me to check my blood pressure. It’s elevated. That turns into a bigger men’s health conversation about how pain works, how stress speaks through the body, and why the things we “push through” can quietly become a crisis. 

Men’s Health Month and Migraine and Headache Awareness Month give us the perfect lens to talk about prevention, especially for Black men’s health. Hypertension earns the nickname “silent killer” for a reason, and the absence of symptoms is not the presence of health. We unpack why knowing your blood pressure numbers is an act of stewardship, not fear, and why strength is not the same thing as silence. 

I also bring in insights from Dr. Sanjay Gupta’s conversation with headache specialist Dr. Alexander Mauskop, co-author of The End of Migraines. We break down what a migraine can look like, why sleep deprivation and diet triggers matter, and why lifestyle changes like exercise and meditation can be powerful first steps. We also connect chronic pain, trauma history, and the truth that “the body keeps the score,” then land on a practical framework I live by: the SALT model service, affirmation, love, and transformation. 

If something keeps nagging at you, don’t label it weakness. Listen, get checked, and take one step toward healing today. Subscribe to Salt Talk, share this with a brother who needs it, and leave a review so more men find the help they’ve been avoiding.

Transcript

A Headache As A Messenger

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello buddy, welcome to the Salt Talk with Jermaine Alberty, where we explore faith, mental wellness, purpose, and transformation through the lens of service, affirmation, love, and transformation. A few weeks ago, I woke up with a headache, not the kind of headache you get from staying up too late or missing a meal. This one felt different. It was persistent, it was nagging, was demanding my attention. Like many men, I tried to negotiate with it. Maybe I needed something to drink, maybe I needed more sleep, maybe it'll go away if I keep moving. But something told me to check my blood pressure. When I did, I discovered it was elevated. That headache wasn't just a headache, it was a messenger. It was my body trying to tell me something before something more serious happened. And that got me thinking, how many headaches in life are really messages? Not just physical headaches, financial headaches, family headaches, ministry headaches, the unresolved conflict, the barried grief, the stress we keep carrying, the dream we postpone, the conversation we keep avoiding. Like headaches, these things often begin as whispers, but when ignored long enough, whisper becomes

The Pain You Keep Normalizing

SPEAKER_00 1:19

warnings. Today, as we recognize Men's Health Month and Migraine and Headache Awareness Month, I want us to consider a simple question. What pain have you normalized that deserves your attention? This is Jermaine Alberti, and you're listening to The SALT Talk. Well,

Black Men And The Silent Killer

SPEAKER_00 1:39

this conversation is especially important for black men. According to the CDC, nearly 60% of Black adults live with hypertension. And one of the highest rates in the nation, hypertension, has earned the nickname the silent killer, because many people experience no symptoms until the serious damage has already occurred. Sometimes that first sign is a headache, sometimes it's dizziness, sometimes it's a stroke, and sometimes it's a heart attack. The absence of symptoms is not the same as the presence of health. If 10 black men are sitting in a room together, statistically, six of them may be living with high blood pressure. And that should concern us because many of us know our favorite team statistics better than we know our own blood pressure numbers. Health is stewardship. Our bodies are not simply vehicles to carry us through life, they are gifts entrusted to us by the divine.

Headaches As A Global Health Issue

SPEAKER_00 2:44

As I prepare for this episode, I listened to a conversation between Dr. Sanjay Gupta, Dr. Alexander Muskov, one of the nation's leading headache specialists, and authors of the End of Migraines 150 Ways to Stop Your Pain. One of the most powerful insights from that conversation was the reminder that headaches often aren't the problems themselves. They are signals, they are clues. And before we go any further, I want you to listen to what Dr. Andre Gulta about the scope of headache disorders worldwide.

SPEAKER_02 3:23

The numbers are pretty astounding. You know, 40% of the world's population, about 3.1 billion people suffering from headaches that are severe enough where they miss work, school, important activities in their life.

SPEAKER_00 3:36

So I'm not sure if you got that. 3 billion people. That's not a minor inconvenience. That's not something we simply push through. That's a global health issue affecting families, workplaces, ministries, and communities every single

What Counts As A Migraine

SPEAKER_00 3:56

day. Let's listen to Dr. Muskop tell us what a migraine really is.

SPEAKER_02 4:03

How do you know something is a migraine?

SPEAKER_01 4:05

Well, we have a very good, strict definition, which is very useful for clinical research. So we do research and you have to fulfill certain criteria. But in practice, there's a very simple way. If it's a severe headache, vast majority of these people will have migraine. If you have a little nausea, that's migraine. If the pain is throbbing, if you feel sensitive to light and noise, you don't have to have all of these symptoms. One or two is enough to make it a migraine. Usually on one side of the head or the other? But 60% of people get it on one side, 40% get it on both sides. So it doesn't have to be on one side.

SPEAKER_02 4:41

So you've identified now that someone has migraines. They have intense pain, it's throbbing, typically, uh more likely than not, going to be on one side. What is the first thing you sort of recommend then in terms of lifestyle?

Sleep And Diet As Triggers

SPEAKER_01 4:54

So lifestyle begins with sleep. If you don't sleep, your brain becomes very irritable. And as you know, um, if someone doesn't sleep several nights in a week and have seizure from sleep deprivation. So sleep deprivation is number one, and people are busy not getting enough sleep. Sleep is one. That's probably part of the reason headaches have gone up, just because we're getting less and less sleep. You're right. And the second one is the diet is a very important factor as well. And people, for the most part, people realize when they get a headache from drinking wine or eating too much uh sugar. And there are many, many dietary triggers, but they don't apply to everyone. One patient told me that a glass of wine makes the headache go away, makes you more relaxed. That's an exception to the rule.

SPEAKER_02 5:40

So as a as a general rule, getting enough sleep, wine does seem to be a trigger for a lot of people. Yes. Um, and and and uh I'm sure there's there's lots of other triggers as well, anxiety, things like that. Umce you start to address all those lifestyle changes, at what point do you think, okay, now I need to try something else?

SPEAKER_00 6:03

In other words, what he was saying is headaches

Strength Is Not Silence

SPEAKER_00 6:06

rarely exist in isolation. And they often are connected to the way we're living. And isn't that true for life? The thing that keeps bothering us is often connected to something deeper than the symptoms, and the symptoms point us toward the source. You see, many of us were raised to endure. We heard things like man up, be strong, handle it, don't complain, push through. But unfortunately, many men interpret those messages to mean don't ask for help, don't discuss your stress, don't admit you're overwhelmed, don't acknowledge pain. But I want to be clear that there is a difference between strength and silence. Strength is paying attention, it is getting checked. Strength is making the appointment. Strength is talking to a counselor, strength is recognizing that ignoring a problem does not make it disappear. I think it's so important when we think about lifestyle and lifestyle changes that we have to make. In the interview, Dr. Gupta asks where lifestyle changes begin. And Dr. Muskop

Exercise And Meditation That Helps

SPEAKER_00 7:19

didn't hesitate. Listen to this clip where he talks about the lifestyle changes that must occur.

SPEAKER_01 7:26

I tell every single patient who walks into the door, I start with exercise. Exercise is number one, number two is meditation.

SPEAKER_02 7:34

It it sometimes is so confusing because you and you write about this in your book, but for some people, exercise helps with the headaches. For other people, it induces the headaches. It can be tough to sort of parse that out. But meditation pretty universally seems to help. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 7:51

Why is that? Well, good science, actually. Uh and the science tells us that your brain structure changes with meditation, not just connections between different parts of the brain, but MRI scan changes. I see enough to you meditate for a long time. Meditators tend to have a slower rate of shrinkage of the brain with age. So we know that when you meditate, this is the only time when your brain gets a break. Because even in sleep, your brain constantly working and connecting and dreaming. It's sort of a cleanup time. Can you just talk me through your routine? So when do you meditate? How do you meditate? So I recommend everyone just do it first thing in the morning, brush your teeth and sit down without checking your phone. And that's that's when I do it. I do what's called Ravada, or just think about your breath, Buddhist meditation, in and out. And you get distracted. One important message to your viewers and listeners you will never stop thinking. They've done studies, imaging studies of uh advanced meditators, people meditate all the time for a long time. The longest they can go without a thought, based on the scan, is 10 to 20 seconds. You think that they sit for an hour and not a thought crosses their mind. That's not happening. So I tell people the only bad session is the one you didn't do. Even if you sit and your mind keeps running, just keep doing it. After years of doing it, you'll benefit tremendously.

SPEAKER_00 9:26

Wow, that's powerful.

Trauma, Chronic Pain, And The Body

SPEAKER_00 9:27

And I want to point out this when stress shows up in the body, it's important because many men were carrying enormous weight. We're providers, we're leaders, we're parents, we're serving, we're working, we're ministering, we're managing relationships, we're managing financial pressures, community expectations. And stress has a way of showing up physically. Sometimes stress is like that headache, the elevated blood pressure, that fatigue, that irritability, that difficulty sleeping, that anxiety, that emotional exhaustion. And often say the body speaks when the soul has been ignored for too long. Our bodies are faithful reporters and they tell the truth even when we don't. You all may have heard about the body keeps the score. I want you to listen carefully to this connection between trauma and chronic pain.

SPEAKER_01 10:26

One other interesting fact that depending on the study, 40 to 60% of people who have chronic pain or headaches have a history of traumatic events in their life, whether it's childhood abuse or bad accident or a serious illness. And that traumatic experience makes your brain hypersensitive. And that's a predisposing factor to chronification of pain of any kind, back pain or interesting.

SPEAKER_02 10:57

The body keeps the score. You you you you buy into that?

SPEAKER_01 11:01

Well, patients often ask me, do I buy into it? Proof of the is in the pooting, that means if you feel better from traumatherapy, and many people do, and you know, drugs like beta blockers help traumatic experience as well.

SPEAKER_00 11:15

My friend, some of us have become so accustomed to surviving that we no longer recognize the toll it's taken on our minds, our bodies, and our spirits. And the body remembers what the mind tries to get. Some headaches may not simply be asking for another pain reliever, they may be asking us to address the wound beneath the pain. And as black men, we've often mastered survival. What many of us are still learning is healing. Well, you know, I am the salt man, if you know. I'm salty, and I always use our salt model as a way to show how we can help ourselves and help our communities. So

The SALT Response To Pain

SPEAKER_00 12:07

here's a salt response to pain. The S you know and SALT stands for service. So we want to serve ourselves well enough while we continue serving others. We want to schedule appointments, we want to check our blood pressure, we want to take some walks and get some rest. Then we want to make sure that we are affirming that affirmation. We want to acknowledge what is real and stop pretending that we're fine when we're not. Because healing begins with honesty. Well, you know, the L in the model stands for love. We most definitely need to make sure that we are loving ourselves enough to pay attention because love respects limits, love values wellness, and love understands that rest is not weakness. And last but not least, transformation. Transformation begins when awareness becomes action. Not tomorrow, not next year, but today. That can begin with one appointment, one conversation, one healthy choice, and one step toward healing.

Hope, Help, And A Direct Challenge

SPEAKER_00 13:17

Well, as we wrap up, I want to make sure that you hear perhaps the most important message from the interview. And that is this.

SPEAKER_01 13:27

Well, the important thing I tell my patients, and they often come in already, having been to three neurologists before me, and they say, I've tried everything. So my message always is, I've never seen a person who tried everything. So the title of my book is The End of Migraines, 150 Ways to Stop Your Pain. My second edition has 160 listed items, and the next one will have more. So the point of the book is give patients hope because people come and tell me, my last doctor said I have nothing to offer you. And that's devastating. It's and uh people become hopeless and really have no reason to live because the pain is so severe, and I always give them hope, and we often find a solution for them.

SPEAKER_00 14:11

My friend, don't give up, seek out and get some help. I want to challenge every man listening to check your blood pressure, schedule your physical, get your sleep, move your body, talk to somebody, address the stress, heal from the trauma, pay attention to what keeps nagging at you. Because sometimes the headache is not your enemy, sometimes it's your teacher, sometimes it's your warning, and sometimes it's God's invitation to slow down, pay attention, and heal.

The Closing Question And Blessing

SPEAKER_00 14:43

Let me end with a quote: a headache is more than the pain. It's a message. The question isn't how long I can endure it, but what it is trying to teach me before the pressure becomes a crisis. What keeps nagging at us often reveals what needs healing within us. Thank you so much for joining the Salt Talk. Until next time, continue living a life of service, affirmation, love, and transformation. Grace and peace. This is Jermaine Alberty, and you've been listening to the Salt Talk.