Toxic Teacher Environments

Last week we chatted about how to handle it when you’re struggling with one specific coworker or team member.

Today, we’re going to go a little bit deeper and discuss what to do if the environment you’re in becomes too toxic. Maybe it’s too much negativity, or maybe your environment is swinging the other way to toxic positivity!

Cattiness, bullying, gossiping, and retaliation are the kinds of things I’m referring to in this episode.

In this episode of Real Teacher Talk, I’m sharing five tips for how to handle it when you’re in the thick of it, and some advice for how to move forward. As difficult as it can seem, when you’re in a toxic working environment, you’re in the perfect position to really think about what you want your next steps to be.

I can’t wait to connect with you over on Instagram after you listen to the episode!

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Kristen Donegan 00:00

Hey, we know that education is hard enough as it is. But if you're working in an environment that's incredibly toxic, it makes it so much harder. So if you're in that type of environment, this episode is for you. I've worked in some really amazing schools and districts. And I've also worked in some that are horrendous. And I'm going to say this, just because the school may look really good on paper, maybe it's well known for doing all sorts of things, does not mean it is the best school for you. So let's chat about what to do if you're in a school right now that you really dread going to maybe there's a lot of bullying going on. I don't want to overstep my boundaries, but something about being in a profession.

That's mostly you know, based, you know, that's a woman. No, that's not working. For being in a profession that's mostly full of women, for whatever reason, there tends to be some more cattiness, right? Some bullying, some mean girl stuff, I've seen it at many of the schools I've been at, I stay very clear from that, because I'm a grown adult, who's got time for that. But you may be in a situation like that, where it's just tough. It's just you don't enjoy it, you enjoy maybe the kids, you enjoy the teaching, but all the other things you're like, I was in a school I shared about this a couple episodes ago, that was known on a reality TV show on MTV, we'll leave it at that had a couple of friends who worked there and really, really loved it, I was in a different position there.

And at first, I really, really enjoyed it, you know, from the outside, it looks really, really good. But then a lot of weird, unprofessional, creepy things began happening. So much bullying, so much. Just Gross, gross stuff to the point where I not only dreaded driving to work, but would feel sick, I would have dreams about it. It was incredibly toxic. I tried to remedy it with several things that I'm going to talk about. But at the end of the day, you've got to do what's best for you, and your mental well being. So you're like, okay, cool, Kristen, let's do it. What does that mean?

So here's what I mean, I'm going to share five things that you can do. These are things that I've done when I've been in these types of situations that really, really helped, not only me kind of get through it, but also get clarity on what my next steps are. So first things first, take care of you. I know so many times as teachers, you know, teachers tell me Well, I got to do it for the kids. Yeah, great. But the kids aren't paying your bills, the kids aren't the ones with you after school and at night, you know, at the end of the day, you've got to do what makes most sense.

So take care of you. If that means using your sick days for a mental, you know, health day or just to have a breather, then by all means, do it. If you're in an environment that's suffocating, or draining. Maybe there's a lot of toxic positivity, and maybe there's a lot of negativity, whatever it may be, and it's draining your energy, schedule out things that you can do to replenish it so that you have things to look forward to after school, and maybe even some things to look forward to during school. Maybe it's a fun lesson. Maybe it's ordering lunch one day to be delivered, or grabbing coffee on the way to work, whatever it may be. So it doesn't feel so miserable driving to work so. So take care of you.

It's really easy to when you're surrounded by things that aren't making you feel so good to come home and be super bummed out and want to just crawl in bed because it's depressing. But I urge you if you can make time to get outside or to go for a walk or if you're into working out or yoga, or meditating whatever it can be. To help you get rid of some of that stress anxiety and find your calm, go for it. Alright, second thing is to find safe support, and I add safe Because I learned the hard way that people that I went to, were not safe. So what I mean by that is there's someone there that you can talk to is there a colleague that you have that you really, really trust.

And if you don't, what I did was my mom knew the situation I was going through, it was absolutely horrible. She would give me daily pep talks on my way to work. And then she would check in on me throughout the day with just a tax like, I love you, I'm thinking of you, you are so strong, like whatever it may be, to help me make it until the bell rang. Now, what I learned was that I confided in someone who I thought was safe, and was not. And that person actually ended up being like the biggest bully of all. So just have that safe person to really connect with, where you can vent in a safe space. And to kind of help you process work through it and be that person there for you on the days that maybe you're struggling.

Now, the third thing, depending on how serious it is, for me, it was really serious. So I documented everything. And what I mean by that is I had my I'm trying to think if I had a notebook, or if I did it on my phone, but I'd put the day, the time, who it was with, and what happened just in case, there was any action, I needed to take down the line, because it got that serious. And I had all, you know, records of things when I went to the union. So that's my next step. For depending on where you're at, you're in California, unions are a thing. And unions really, really help the teachers here.

And so I went to the union with my grievances with what was happening with, you know, this coworker, and with the principal, because I tried talking to the principal, and that went absolutely nowhere. So I had my list my documentation, and to try to get some help to get some ideas for next steps to see what they can do to get involved because at the end of the day, they're there to protect you. And so that's what I did. And then finally, I got to a place for Step five, is where I really had to make a decision. Is this my forever home? Am I going to ride this out? And be miserable? Because it's not getting any better? Or am I going to find a place that's a better fit for me. And I know, it's hard to make that decision because you know, maybe you've built a family there, that's close to your house, whatever it may be.

But then you got to look back to and I'm really, really clear on this this year is if you were to die tomorrow, as morbid as that is it's not promised, are you happy, life's too short, you guys to be miserable, doing what you're doing. So it can be better, I would much rather trade in the commute, or you know, having my best friend at the school. But if everything else stinks, then then it's not for me. And so really get clear on that. Because I know the last few years so many teachers, you know are reconsidering their role in the education space, or their role at their school. And so this is a time to do that. If it's really feeling really hopeless, and it's just something you dread.

That's not the way it's meant to be. So in that situation at that school, I was like no firkin way am I coming back here. And how petty this place was just to let you know, I was only on like a 3.75 contract working in the RTI room with my reading specialist certificate. Well, because they, you know, heard I was speaking to the union, they retaliated, cut my hours down to I think 45 minutes a day. How wild is that? So when I did get picked up with a new contract, my former districts like no, she's still contracted here 45 minutes a day. That's the kind of stuff we're talking about. Okay, that probably won't happen to you, but it was a petty district.

So what I mean by that is see what you can do. Once I moved schools. I found another really great school and then after that found what I thought was going to be my forever home. So it's not like it is At the school you're at right now, all over the place. It's amazing what just transferring to a new school in your district will do. Or even you know, if it's just a grade level that's super toxic, moving grade levels does wonders. I've been on teams where it works really well. And then bit on teams where you're on an island by yourself.

So it's possible, it's totally possible for it to be better. Life's too short to be miserable. Going to work teaching is hard enough as it is. So what can you do to make it better? And that doesn't mean putting up with, you know, toxicity? But like, what can you do to take that power back? Are you willing to look at other options to do what's best to support you and the amazing teacher that you are? So to quickly recap, make sure one take care of you to find a safe, supportive person, three Document for reach out to your union. If you've got one and five, get clear. Are you going to find a new home? Or are you going to ride this out?

All right, let me know what you decide over on Instagram. Feel free to send me a DM at easy teaching tools. And I'd love to collaborate with you over there. If this episode was helpful, feel free to share it out on your Instagram Stories. email the link to a friend posted on Facebook, whatever it may be. Because you know what? You're not the only one in the situation. So many teachers come to me saying it's extremely toxic. I need out every Sunday when I do Sunday secrets on Instagram. That is the biggest secret that teachers tell me so you're not alone. It can get better. And there are options out there for you.

Who deep breath know so take some time for you. Maybe sit there and journal your thoughts after listening to this episode. Go for a walk, take a deep breath, whatever you can do, or whatever brings you some joy just for you away from the kids if you've got them, and just take some time to just reset your day deserve it. All right. I will see you next week. Thanks so much for being here.

SUMMARY KEYWORDS
work, school, teachers, union, toxic, miserable, talk, episode, happening, situation, safe, feel, clear, district, bullying, contract, instagram stories, person, day, petty

Real Teacher Talk

Toxic Teacher Environments

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