It's Dope to Cope: easy coping skills for moms

In this episode of Mama Needs Me Time, Molly Ryden delves into the overwhelming stress that mothers often face and emphasizes the importance of coping skills. She shares practical techniques for managing stress, building resilience, and incorporating self-care into daily life. The conversation highlights the significance of community support and the necessity of prioritizing oneself amidst the demands of motherhood.

takeaways

• Every mom experiences overwhelming stress at times.
• Coping skills are essential for managing stress effectively.
• Breathing exercises can provide immediate relief in stressful moments.
• Grounding techniques help bring focus back to the present.
• Journaling can be a quick and freeing way to express thoughts.
• Mindfulness apps can assist in establishing a meditation practice.
• Affirmations can shift negative thought patterns.
• Small acts of self-care can significantly impact mental well-being.
• Setting boundaries is crucial to avoid burnout.
• Community support is vital for mothers navigating stress.

Chapters

00:00
Understanding Stress in Motherhood

06:01
Building a Resilience Toolkit

11:57
Embracing Self-Care and Community Support

stress management, coping skills, motherhood, self-care, resilience, mental health, mindfulness, journaling, breathing techniques, mom life

Transcript

Molly Ryden (00:00.94)
Hello, hello, and welcome back to Mama Needs Me Time, the podcast by a mom for moms to talk about all things about moms. As always, it's me, Molly. I'm so glad you're here today. I know that this week feels like the longest week in history, so I was inspired to record an episode about something every mom is more than familiar with. Today, we're gonna take a deep dive into the world of stress.

But not just everyday stress. I mean the overwhelming, can't catch a break, wish I could hit pause kind of stress. It seems to build up until you're carrying it with you everywhere. You know, your hair is falling out, you don't know the last time you ate a full meal, and the sound of your dog licking its paws is making your eye twitch. That kind of stress. Maybe you're feeling it right now. I know I am with what's going on in the world, a broken furnace and just the upcoming holidays.

random no school days, daylight savings, so on and so on. So maybe it's because of work or family or even just trying to balance all the little things that make up mom life, but I totally get it. I really, really do. There have been so many times that I felt like I'm just barely hanging on and honestly, sometimes that I didn't, but it's just in those moments that I realized we all need ways to manage, to cope and to get back to ourselves.

So today I wanna spend some time focusing on simple and effective coping skills that you can turn to whenever things start to feel too heavy. These are practical, no fuss tools to help you get a little relief, calm, and maybe even some of that inner peace we all hear about. So let's start with a quick look into why we need to collect these tools and why coping skills matter so much. Life can be demanding, especially when you're a mom.

It's easy to think that we have to be on all the time, always ready to handle any and everything. But here's the thing, our bodies and minds weren't built for this level of stress. This constant high level, high intensity stress, it's just way too much. And when we don't have ways to cope and relieve that stress, it builds up. It can drain us, it makes us short tempered, we snap at everyone around us and leave us with long term effects on our health.

Molly Ryden (02:20.066)
Coping skills are a way to hit pause. They give us a moment to breathe and regroup and to come back to ourselves before everything becomes overwhelming and we get burnt out. When we're less stressed, we're able to move and be more present and patient. Not just for our families, but also with ourselves. We're able to show up a little more and be our best instead of giving what's left over after stress has worn us down. So today I wanna share a few different tools that have helped me and

many of the moms I work with. And remember, take what resonates with you and leave the rest. I'm not here to overwhelm you with information and these are not fail safe tips, tricks and hacks to make mom life better. Everyone's journey and capacity and needs are very different. So please keep that in mind as I give you this list. Okay, so first off, let's jump into some grounding techniques you can use right away when that stress hits.

Think of these as kind of the EpiPen or rescue inhaler for stressful moments. These are quick, simple things that can help you calm your body and mind almost immediately. So first up is breathing exercises. This is one of the simplest and most effective ways to bring yourself down in a high stress moment. Whether it's a toddler meltdown in the middle of the grocery store or some idiot driver who doesn't know how to merge, these are things you can do quickly and quietly

and usually inconspicuously to help you calm. One that I really like to do is four, seven, eight breathing. You just inhale for the count of four, hold for a count of seven, and exhale for the count of eight.

Just breathe in, hold, and breathe out nice and slow. You might feel a tiny bit of release even from just one deep breath. This technique works because it sends a signal to your brain that it's okay to relax, that you're safe, and you can let go a little.

Molly Ryden (04:23.968)
Another quick grounding technique that I like to use is the 5-4-3-2-1 method. This one's great if you're feeling overwhelmed and need something to bring you back to the present moment. I've used this in moments of crowd anxiety or like the airport is a big trigger for me. You start by naming five things that you see around you. Then four things that you can touch. Then you think of three things around you that you can hear.

Two things you can smell and one thing you can taste. Now, don't think of like licking anything around you or that you need to be eating something. Sometimes it can be, you know, the smell of Cinnabon at the airport, for example, or something like that. I know it sounds silly, but it's actually a really powerful way to get your head back into the moment.

Another favorite of mine that I use usually to wind down before bed is progressive muscle relaxation. This is great when you're feeling tense or having a moment where you just need to focus and you focus on one part of your body at a time and tense up that area, hold it for a few seconds and then release it. You can start with your toes, then move up to your calves, up to your thighs, all the way up to your shoulders and face. And as you release, eat

muscle, you're letting go of that physical tension and that can work wonders on your mental health. Like I said, I use this almost every night when I go to bed.

So the next step I wanna take is talking about why it's important to create a resilience toolkit. These are things that you can rely on regularly to help you manage stress and build up your resilience over time. One of my go-to's is journaling. It's one of my favorites. And I know what you're thinking, who with children has time to journal? But here's the thing, you don't have to write pages and pages and pages. You're not writing a novel.

Molly Ryden (06:29.868)
You're not writing your memoir. Sometimes all it takes is a quick brain dump. I like to do this first thing in the morning, sometimes at night. You just write down everything that's on your mind. You start with a prompt in your brain of, today I feel, and just let the words flow. Getting these thoughts out of your head and onto paper can be so incredibly freeing. This is also an opportunity to create a gratitude practice or just a list.

a list of any and everything. And you'll start to notice over time that the more you do this and the more you get everything out of your brain, the more free space you have. A lot of people, including myself, like to use mindfulness apps or using them for meditation. Apps like Insight Timer or Headspace offer short guided practices that are super doable and easy to use even on a busy day.

I started the muscle relaxation technique through a meditation at bedtime and I've just continued to do it now without needing to use the app. Think of it as a little mini reset button for your day. Take five minutes, close your eyes, listen to your breathing. It makes a big difference for how you feel. I mentioned this earlier with journaling, another tool, and I know it sounds cheesy. Affirmations and reframing your thoughts really do work.

If you're constantly telling yourself you're overwhelmed, if you're constantly tell yourself you're failing, that is how your mindset is going to stay and you're not going to get out of it. I'll repeat things to myself like, I'm doing my best. I am the best mom that my kids have. I am worthy of peace. And it's amazing how powerful these words can be when you say them with intention. When a negative thought pops up, you just reframe it. I'm never going to get all these things done. And then say, actually,

I'll do what I can and that's good enough. I know it sounds ridiculous to be talking to yourself and things like that, but reframing these thoughts are going to make little shifts and they're going to add up.

Molly Ryden (08:38.7)
So we've got some big techniques for how you can refocus, reframe, and shift yourself into a place when stressed. So how do we use these skills in daily life? So let's look at a few simple things you can do every day to keep your stress levels in check.

I will scream this from the mountaintops from now until eternity. Do not underestimate the power of small acts of self-care. This is making sure you get a hot cup of coffee or hot breakfast. You know, actually sitting down and spending time to enjoy it. I used to be a coffee first thing in the morning or I couldn't function kind of person. Now I'm able to wait and have my coffee once my kids have been dropped off so I can actually enjoy hot coffee.

And it makes, it's the same effect. know, anticipating that coffee, getting that coffee in my system is really helpful. I have talked a lot about touching grass, you know, getting outside, breathing in fresh air. These little things seem incredibly small and insignificant, but I'm telling you right now, in moments of stress or times of high stress, they remind you to pause, that you matter, and that taking steps to take care of yourself make a big difference.

We've talked about this in previous episodes, but it's such a huge one. Setting boundaries and learning to say no. Super mom syndrome is a real problem and a real affliction for us. We tend to say yes to everything. We want to do it all. We want to be there for everyone. We want to be everything for everyone. But honestly, the best way to manage your stress is to set a boundary and protect your time.

Give yourself permission to say no to things that do not serve you or your family. This is a big favorite of mine, mini routines. Consider setting them up for everyone so that you can do just a few things in a few minutes. Maybe it's a little stretch routine before bed or a quick morning routine to get a meditation in the morning. These anchor your day and give you a sense of control.

Molly Ryden (10:54.496)
and allow you adaptability in the in-between moments and they make a huge difference. So I hope these tools give you a few ideas for managing your stress. I wanna keep this short because it's always my point to not create more stress for you to consume a whole podcast. But I want you to remember you are not alone in feeling overwhelmed or burdened by what's going on around you. There's no shame in needing a moment

or a few to take care of yourself. These coping skills might feel new or awkward at first, but I promise you, the more you give yourself grace and time, you're going to notice that people are doing these things around you, and those tend to be the people who are best adjusted in times of stress. You're learning and you're adapting and you're figuring these things out one day at a time, and that is something to be so

proud of.

Here's your assignment for this episode. I want to hear what's working for you. I want you to try some of these techniques and let me know whether it's a breathing exercise, a journal prompt, or taking five minutes to yourself to enjoy that hot cup of coffee. Give it a try. See how you feel. And remember, you can always share your experiences with me or someone else in the Mama Needs Me Time community. And you matter.

I will continue to remind you that you should be a priority. We're moving into the busiest season of the year for moms and you need to take time for yourself. So thanks for tuning in today. I know your time is so precious and a commodity and I'm grateful that you spent it here. So remember taking time for yourself isn't selfish, it's necessary. And until next time, make sure you're carving out a little bit of that me time you deserve.