Week 10

Have a listen to this weeks podcast, an update on how Pippa and Flash are and I give an insight into what it is like emotionally coping with loosing your hearing and having Meiners disease.

Find out what Merlin and I have been up to this week.

Transcript

Copy Transcript Copied

SPEAKER_00 0:37

Hi everyone! Did you think that I wasn't there for a minute? How's it all going? Thanks again for listening. We've had some really, really fantastic listening figures coming into this week's podcast. Week 10. No, I know I didn't actually have to go back and check that because I've written it down in my notes on my phone. We're in week 10. 10 weeks? Have I really been doing this? New version, new kind of um setup for 10 weeks. Well, that's a bit crazy, isn't it? Um anyway, so how are we all doing? So I'm where am I? So I'm back at the moment at my little house, little cottage. I keep meaning to do like a little kind of video tour for you guys so you can see it all because I want people to be able to see that you can live in really small spaces. Um, but it's uh it's not quite finished, okay. I still have things that I haven't done yet. Um, although I have got around to replacing the smoke alarm battery, which is obviously quite important. Um, so as soon as soon as it is ready, at some point in the mythical future, okay, I will actually do that for you guys so you can have a little look around. Um, because people, because the thing is about this house is it was on the market for a long time because people were just kind of like, oh, I don't know, it's too it's tiny, it's too small. But actually, you can get loads of stuff in it, it's long and thin. Um, and I've got an amazing neighbor next door. I mean, you know, if you're living in a house, you want a fantastic neighbor, don't you? And she's just brilliant, you know. She's like, Oh, this is how I've done that for you. I hope you don't mind. She's cut my lawn again. Okay, she's weeded outside the front of the driveway. She's like, I hope you don't mind doing that. I was like, God, no, I don't mind. Thanks very much. Saves me doing it. You know, when you return, it's like, do you mind if I wash my car in your drive? No problem whatsoever with that. Go for it. Um, and that's how it should be. That's how we should be all living with our neighbours because it's great, it makes life so much easier. And if there's an issue with my house at all, I get a I get a little WhatsApp, right? I think this is not quite right, and we can get it fixed. Um, and do you know it's just absolutely fantastic? Uh, so what have I been doing? Uh and why am I here? Why am I not at John's house? Well, uh, John's away playing golf. Um, so I thought, right, okay. Today's the day I do the thing, okay? I've got loads of time. Um, I don't have to really do much this morning. Um, I'm giving Millen a day off because he's done quite a lot of stuff. And uh I just have to pop up and feed him and give him a hay note, maybe. And then um, you know, so I thought, right, today's the day I'm filming the thing. I can film it at my little cottage. Um uh so we'll I'll let you know how I get on with it all. Um, it's all kind of um, I've got post-it notes. Well, I will be, I've got I've got some some paper to write a load of post-it notes. Or I did have anyway, I've got to find it first. Um to write a load of post-it. Here it is. I've got a little book full of post-it notes, and I'm gonna have loads of post-it notes written out, okay, um, and stuck to the the the camera tripod just to remind myself of all the things that I need to include in it all. Um, um, and we'll see how it goes. We'll see how we got with that. Um, and I'll let you know, um, as I say, ahead of ahead of it all, you know, whether or not it worked out okay, if I was happy with how it went. Um, because there's lots of things you have to look at. You have to wear ladies more makeup when you're kind of doing any any TV stuff. Um, I know this because I actually did um stage makeup and I did a 30 studies A level and I did stage makeup and I don't really like wearing that much makeup, so I've got to pile it, trial it all on, otherwise you don't look right. Um, I don't know if people probably don't know that, do they? They probably think that people who are on TV look like that in real life. No, that's not the case. You have to have shed loads of makeup on because otherwise the lighting and stuff and everything, it and it just the film, the cameras, it just doesn't pick up right on it. Um, so that's a little secret of of the inside industry, maybe you didn't know. Uh, how's Pippa getting on? Um, well, uh so basically she's been going to the pub more than I am at the moment because I've been working too much. So John, um Flash is injured. I think I did tell you that last week. He's a lot better now, but I'm just taking him out for like short, controlled 10-minute walks on the lead. And uh John's very kindly walking Pippa, although obviously I did that this morning. Um, and uh yes, so the Pippa's been socialising with my new yard friends also at the pub. Looks like um so my dog is going to the pub more than I am. Yeah, that's something's not quite right in the old work life balance, there is it. Okay, so incontinence issues. Uh we've had one incident this week, and that's it. Um, so you know, it all seems to be going okay. There's been no issues, we've had no sort of dodgy hip function movements or anything like that. So not sure what caused that. Um, but it seems to be all okay now. She's gotten a lot better, um, things seem to be getting back to normal, which is really, really great news on the old pivot front. Uh, what have I been doing with Merlin this week? Well, Saturday, um, you know, so that's one thing I quite like, isn't important about to having had um horses at home, okay. Um, and when you're, you know, you're kind of you're sort of limited to your company, aren't you? Really? You kind of have to quite often go out on your own. Um, or if you know your partner rides, you'll maybe go out for them. Um, but it's really good because if you're on a big yard and it's a nice yard, because there are some nice yards out there, um, then you can kind of ride with somebody else. We have a little WhatsApp group and we kind of stick on it, you know, we're hacking. So this weekend, um, we've already, you know, people are already hacking out Saturday, Sunday saying what time. There's one person in particular that's really well great, you know, sort of coordinating it all. And um, and so uh, you know, so I you know, we hacked out with somebody else um on the Saturday morning. I can't actually remember who it was. Right, okay. Um, and but you have a conversation with that person, and it's you know, and then actually I can't remember who it was, and uh, and then Sunday um I kind of went for a bimble around the village looking at some scarecrows with somebody else really early in the morning because the local village they've got all these kind of like scarecrow things up. Um, did I tell you about this last week? I can't remember. So you've got like minions and stuff, um, and it's really cool. You know, there's like a garage attendant and um a health beautician, and she's got all you know, like the beautician like outfits on, and yeah, two minions we came across. Um, there's also um a guy who I think it's supposed to be Renee in a lower low, but I've actually seen that production of a lower low, and it's fantastic, it's great. And uh so yeah, it's it's it's it's really good fun to kind of just go along and have a look at all the the kind of scarecraze. Um, although um I did have a major lameness issue halfway around, which was a bit scary. He suddenly went um horrendously lame, and um and I'd felt a little bit of warmth in that foot, so he kind of started overthinking, and I'm like, oh no, what's wrong with Merlin? Why has he suddenly gone lame? Um I checked his boot fitting, and that was okay, and he was like even worse. And I was like, Oh my god, I'm gonna get up and lead him. And then I said to my friend, I said, Right, I'm just gonna take this boot off because clearly that's the issue. Um, took it off, and there's a massive stone that had got in there. Right. So chuck that out, put the boot back on, and then we carried on with the way we were going. Merlin's like, seriously, I thought I'd go out of that. I know. Um, so and and you know, it was a kind of like a you know, a kind of realization that if they suddenly go really lame for some reason, then you know, there's there's obviously a reason for it. Uh so fortunately he's been absolutely fine. Um, what else did I do? So I yeah, I I'm I've been jumping. Okay, I've been jumping him a bit more. Um, I think I mentioned I went off and did the farmer, I did some jumps well. Um, so a lot of the competitions, okay, cross country and arena eventing competitions, they're kind of um about 50, they start about 50 centimetres. Um, so I thought, right, I'm gonna have to, you know, give it a go, give a go at jumping 50 centimetres. So someone had left a couple of jumps up in the school this week, and I thought, right, here's my here's my opportunity. Um I kind of so what I did, I'd measured 50 centimetres up to it's just above my knee. Uh, and I kind of went along and I I measured the jumps, and they were probably about 40. And I thought, well, I'll jump those a few times first. So I did that and then I hopped off and I put them up two holes, so they're put to 50 centimetres. And the cross poles was maybe just slightly below, probably, but the actual there's a a straight bar one which was definitely a 50 centimetres because it's you know, you kind of count up and it's that amount of things up the up the pole. And um, yeah, so and he jumped that jumped that perfectly. I went clear. So later on in the week I took him round, and there's a there's a bigger log that I've kind of jumped a small part of, um, and I haven't jumped the bigger bit. Okay, it's a different log to the one I was talking about last week, it's in a different section, it's in uh a different field. Um, and I jumped that and he did two fantastic jumps over that one. So there's now just two logs, well, two logs in that part that I haven't jumped yet. There's some other massive logs, which I'm I don't think I'll I might jump them one day. I probably can walk over them, but not up to jumping them just yet. We're building it up gradually. So I thought to myself, right, I'm gonna pop him off to um another um place where they've just put a load more like really little jumps in and stuff. Um so I thought I'm gonna have to buy myself a body protector, really, aren't I? So that's arrived, arrived at my parents' house yesterday, and um, you know, because I have to be kind of like safety concerns, because also if I want to um compete, then I need to be wearing a body protector. So I've got my body protector and I've got a little bib as well. So I'm thinking about doing well. Because what I'm thinking about doing, um, I probably will enter it. Or I'll just make sure, unless it absolutely hammers it down, but I can leave it until the last minute to enter. So we'll just see how it goes, or even if I kind of just raz up and take him out for the experience, um, and jump. And I think I think I will enter it. I think what I'll say, providing the ground isn't too saturated, and what I think I'll end up doing is just go with the aim to take him out for the experience, okay? And just go and maybe aim to jump, say, a couple of the jumps, okay. If there is somewhere, I think I'm not aiming to win it, it's not about not about that at the moment. Um, it's about us building confidence. So there might be a few jumps where I think, do you know what? I don't think I want to jump that one in. I'm just gonna go around it. Um, and I think I'll then just jump him over the few jumps that I'm happy to jump to jump over. Um yeah, so that's that's kind of where we are with Merlin. So that's that's pretty good going, but it's all a it's all a work in progress, aren't we? And we're all all kind of work in progress, and I think it's quite good to have a goal to aim for, um, because that's how you kind of you keep developing and keep building and changing in life, and that you've kind of got a goal, you know, to aim for. Um, but you know what, and I think I've I've mentioned so I haven't really I've talked about it a little bit. I've been diagnosing many many years disease, which I've kind of known for a while that I have. I've got an appointment now for my hearing aid, okay. It's a virtual appointment. Um, and uh, and I've and so it's all becoming a little bit real now. You know, I have to kind of admit that I am losing my hearing. Um, which and I thought and I've been really down. And I thought, why am I so down? And there's obviously there's something else that I the thing that I need to do and record that I need to get that off my chest, I need to get that out there. Um, you know, um, I I just do because I think that's that's kind of really weighing me down. Um and I kind of um yeah, so but oh no, it's also it's like you kind of don't realise, do you, the emotional impact, okay, of these things. And that's something that I have learned from, you know, working in a hospital. You know, you kind of it's you go for diagnostics and you have your scans and um you have your blood tests um and whatnot, um, you know, to try and work out what's wrong with you. And that they there's you know, so I think people kind of expect that and you also maybe have a biopsy or a fine needle aspiration where they put like um a needle in and and pour take fluid out of any lumps or anything like that that you may you might have, and then they go to the labs and they're kind of all analysed and stuff, and then you know, reported on if there's any you know potential malignant cells, then that's when they'll maybe do a biopsy, but that's a good indication because it'll tell you if it's inflammatory. You can tell what I do for a living, can't you? Right? Looking at all the stuff, and um you know, and and you do all the diagnostics, and then you've also got the clinician with his opinion, and they usually know their stuff. If they're an an experienced clinician, I'd I'd always be thinking, right, if he thinks it is, then it probably is. Um, but some of the younger ones, you're like, Well, you know, you you just you know, you you're quite young, you're a baby doctor, you maybe haven't got enough experience yet. You'd have to wait for you know the diagnostics to come through. Um, and uh and it's you know, and you kind of you look at all these things, don't you, and you go for all these procedures, but there's no actual emotional okay support. Um, and in this country, we're not very good at talking about things, are we? And this is going to be covered a little bit in the thing that I'm gonna be doing. My parents are are emotionless people, okay? They don't hug, they don't kiss, um, they very rarely smile, if I'm completely honest with you. Um, you know, and so if you if you kind of like and I'm an only child, so if you've kind of grown up being in an emotionless environment where you don't talk about things, then you don't talk about things, and you know, and it's and I've I've I've had to have this conversation with my partner and say, look, I'm no, I'm not, I can't talk about things, I'm not very good at talking about things because I've been in an grown up in an environment where we didn't do that, and it's quite difficult. Um, and then I used to try and talk to my ex-husband about things, but then he just get really angry and start shouting, and then you kind of think, Well, why do I really bother? Um, and uh yeah, he had my dog put down, okay, without telling me. That happened a couple of years ago. Um, I was in tears about it last night. Um, because sometimes um these things like this really hit you, don't you? At difficult times, maybe when you're not feeling, you know, we're feeling a bit emotionally vulnerable, then these things kind of hit you. Um and I you know, but I don't talk about that. I haven't really told anybody about that. Um, and that's sometimes where social media is quite good. I got it out, I I just I just put it on a post and someone's you know liked my comment. I thought, well, that one person out there has read that comment and knows that that's happened to me. Um, and do you know what? Sometimes actually by just talking about things and telling people things, you start feeling a little bit better about what's been happening. Um, so and and you know, um and obviously I'm thinking, you know, I just I then also you kind of think through, well, why didn't he tell me? And you know, is he still really angry with me? Which he probably is, but even so, but what does that say about him as a person rather than what does it say about me and that it's my fault and that I'm to blame because I'm the one that left? What does that say about him as a person that he would someone would do something like that without even telling me? Um, and then you kind of think, well, you can kind of feel a little bit justified in the fact that that's the reason why you did leave in the first place. Um, you know, so that's kind of where what I've been going through with you know this week. Um, and as I say, I think because I've been feeling a little bit low and a little bit down, um, you know, that that that that's kind of like that's come to light. But so I did I gave myself a chill day, okay, on Saturday. I didn't really do anything, I watched TV. Um, although we have I have an issue, okay. I have a massive issue which I need to broach with my partner, right? In like my parents' house, and in all of my houses, okay, we set the TV up so you've got the sofa and you're looking directly at the TV, straight so your neck's at you know the right angle. In his house, you know, and it's quite funny because he's been moaning he's been having neck pain for years, and I've started having neck pain, and in his house, the TV's to one side and you have to turn your neck to look at it, and then I'm thinking, right, there's a common denominator here. So, anyway, so and it's like, how do you how do you tell this person, right? Do you know what your living room's completely the wrong way around? This is why you're kind of having you know this issue. So I'm not, and there's always a way to do things, isn't there? You know, if I kind of like barge and go, right, we've got to change this because we're being people you get people's backup. So what I'm gonna do is I've got a plan, okay? And my approach to things is always a little bit different than anybody else's, right? So there's a single he likes cuddling up to me on the sofa. There's a single chair, right? Single chair faces the TV directly, and I've been sitting in that quite a lot now. It's been fine, and he's he's been scowling at me a little bit, but he's been next to the dog. Um, but and the teenager's been on the sofa that we we usually sit uh sit next to with Pippa, usually cuddling Pippa like a baby. Because Pippa can't sit next to me because there's no space on the chair, right? And so I thought, right, I'd say I'm just gonna when the teenager goes off to uni, um, which is imminent, by the way, um, I'm gonna I'm gonna sit in the chair. And I've and I'm gonna sit, and it's like, why don't you sit in the sofa? I would say, because the sofa's at an angle to the TV and it's hurting my neck, you know, if you were sat at an office, okay, you know, we're we're all told to risk manage our desks, we wouldn't sit with a TV with our monitor, would we, to like to the to the side. So we're sitting, you know, having to look, you know, we'd we sit with a monitor right in front of us. It should be exactly the same if we're watching TV. So anyway, but that's how I'm gonna handle that one and I'm gonna let you know how it goes, okay. Um, right, so did I tell you that people are probably listening to this for the first time, they might have skipped all the rest of it, and that's absolutely fine. Um, I think I've told you the wet, wet, wet story, haven't I? Where we went off to see Wet Wet Wet, and um and we kind of were like, Yeah, it should be great. We've heard Marty Panama on the radio, it'd be fantastic. Um, and uh and I should have we should have known because it was actually a really tiny kind of theatre in Crew of all places. Was it Crew? No, it was Stoke. It's Crew or Stoke, I can't remember, one of the two anyway. Um and just before it was about to start, one of the uh one of the audit moments behind us pipes up going, you do know it's not Martipello, don't you? And the guy next to it was like, No, we thought it was Martipello, but came to see Martipello. Oh well, you know, he left ages ago. It's a guy, it's uh some other guy whose name I can't remember actually. Um I mean we we watched it going, we were kind of we were a bit disappointed, and then we came on and we had an absolutely fantastic evening, and they were a great band. And the the lead the lead now, he was he was in kind of some celebrity X Factor or something like that. He's absolutely fantastic, he's he's brilliant, he's so entertaining, he's just perfect. And um, but anyway, so we we thought, right, okay, well, let's track down Martipello, he's clearly doing something because otherwise, you know, he wouldn't have been on like the radio. Um, so we went to see uh Martipello, you know, lovely kind of voice that he's got in Liverpool Cathedral, and I was kind of expecting you know it to be maybe a bit of kind of a cappello type thing, and you know, because he's just he's a fantastic vocalist, okay. We walked out, uh and John said, What did you think of that? And I said, Well, it wasn't terrible. Okay, and um and and I'm not and I don't usually criticize many people, okay, and I'm not gonna start now. Um, it was up there with the village people. Maybe the village people slightly edged it, but um, it was it was we wouldn't go back, put it this way. Um, however, it was a little bit like it at times I've written down exactly what I thought, at times it felt like, okay, we were watching a Glaswegian Jim karaoke, because he did loads of songs that weren't his, which I think is probably done from his play, and but they also it was one of those things where we couldn't really see um because the the stage wasn't high enough at Liverpool, so you couldn't really see him. Um, and also people were talking all the way through it constantly, and I'm like, um, and so they were talking, and I cause then I can't really hear properly, and it's difficult for me, right? So that's one thing that's come out of um, you know, as as to why, because like if you've got many airs, um what people that think don't talk about is how exhausting it is, okay, because if you can't hear properly, you really have to focus on hearing um and listening to things um quite a lot, and you know, it's great for me when I'm doing my podcast because I don't have to listen to anybody because you guys all have to just listen to me, and I can just talk to myself and I've got my headphones on so I can hear everything and it's fine. But when I'm sat at reception, okay, and I'm trying to hear what people constantly having to really focus on hearing what people are saying, um, it's really difficult. And I say for my um my you know, my other job, it's great. I work from home and I use Teams, so I don't have to listen to anybody. Um, all I have to do is put some headphones on to drown out my tinnitus noise in one ear. Then I keep the other one off really, so I can maybe have a conversation with John if he if he comes down um and has some coffee because you know I can hear it ringing now, it's a constant ringing noise in my ear. Um, you know, and it's it can be really distracting, but you you have to kind of have like a it's a brain focus as well to not listen to that noise, which imagine you've you're you've got your brain, you've got this constant in your ear all of the time, okay? And you have to get your mind to focus not on that noise but on something else, and that's why I keep so busy, and that's one thing the audiologist said to me um when I first had it tested years ago, is like you're a really busy person, and the best way to get through this is just to keep doing loads and loads of stuff, and then you don't you're not sitting in silence too much listening to this buzzing in your ear, because otherwise it really would drive you crazy. Um, but constantly because it's like sensory overload, isn't it? So because I'm kind of like I'm trying to deal with this buzzing in my ear, and then also trying to listen with my good ear to what people are saying, um, it's actually Really tiring for your brain to get through it. So this is why you know there are there are times, and this is why I went for a load of blood tests last year because I just said to the GP, I said, you know what? I'm absolutely exhausted, and I don't really know why. And I wasn't sure if it was the food I was eating or what, but it it turns out it's you know, it's probably this and I think maybe because I don't watch much television because I don't have to really focus on trying to hear that, that possibly helps me as well. Um, you know, um, or listen to music, I say listen to it from my headphones, but it's you know, so it is absolutely knackering. Uh and and that's why, you know, um, so I kind of felt a little bit better because I thought, well, do you know what? That's why I've been getting so tired. Of course it is. Um, it kind of makes sense really, doesn't it? Uh so it's important as well to kind of give yourself a few down days. You don't want to be doing too much all the time. So we went, we came back to my little house actually on Sunday. Um, and I cooked a roast in it, and I loved it. It was great fun and uh it was really good. And we went for a nice little walk, and we had movie night, um, and I had a glass of wine, okay. Um which is kind of my limit, as I've really cut out alcohol because it's because I felt I've felt absolutely terrible after we went for our few days away and we had like a bottle of wine every night. I felt terrible for about three weeks after that, and it's taken me that long to get over it. Um, so and I had I had about a few sips of wine last night and then ended up crying, and I thought, do you know what? This alcohol stuff really isn't good for you. If you're which you know, if you're going through any kind of like emotional trauma or you know, you're dealing with anything, you know, the first thing you kind of think is like, Oh, I need a drink, but actually that's the last thing that you should do. So I actually I chuck the rest of the wine away. I thought this is ridiculous. Okay, you do not need alcohol in this situation. Um, and you go and you so I made myself a nice hot chocolate, which was a lot more comforting, um, and then watched uh another uh last episode of Grant Anna Green Gables again, which is quite good actually. It's not as good as the original one with Megan Follows and Jonathan Crombie, but just putting it out there. I said, How's my golf going? Uh play golf on Sunday. Okay, I hadn't played for a couple of weeks, and I was pretty terrible. Right. Um, but I was a bit stressed and a bit tense, and that doesn't really help. You need to be quite relaxed in golf. Um, I haven't, you know, say because I haven't been feeling very well, I haven't really been playing golf. Um, not properly outdoors, I just did the simulator thing. Um and when we played it the next day, I I did play a little bit better, so that was pretty good. And then, you know, I think are we playing this weekend? I think we are. I'm losing track really of what we're doing. I've left my diary at John's house, so I I can't really, you know, you sort of tell you what's going on. So, how's the teenager? Well, uh, she made cookies this week. So you're kind of thinking, what does she want? Right? One of their friends around. Um, and they also they took over the living room. We had like zombie teenagers um in the living room at 12 o'clock the next day. I mean, is that I mean, do you know are they all like that? Do they all not get up and do anything? Um, anyway, so I kind of went out, left them to it. I stayed out really late. I felt really bad actually because I went swimming and I thought I'll still alright, okay. Do you know what? I've got some me time now, haven't I? I don't have to rush back because John's gonna be at the pub because the teenagers are in the house and they'll be looking after the dogs, so that'll be fine. So I can just go, oh, I can go to Marks and Spencer's and have a look around. Not disappointed with the collection in there this year. Usually I kind of go around thinking, oh yeah, they want that dress, want that dress. I wandered around and thought, there's actually nothing I want to buy here. It's all kind of yeah, the autumn colours, they're brown, and I don't know. Do we do we want to why are we why do we wear like brown, dark colours in the autumn? You know, autumn's like a a a kind of you know, sort of grey depressing time. The last thing that we should be wearing is depressing colours. Shouldn't we be wearing like more cheerful colours to make us feel a little bit happier um in the autumn? I don't know, just putting it that out there. That's kind of I went round going feeling really uninspired by everything. So then I went off to Sainsbury's and had a little bit of I got bought like a Yankee candle, there's like a massive strawberry one on on sale. I thought, right, I'm gonna get that first purchase for John's house to go on the like the bedside table to make, you know, make it feel a bit nice and cozy in there and like a nice candle. Because I like having candles at at my house. Um look it all smelling really nice. And and I think that's the thing as well, is like it's difficult at the moment because it doesn't John's house doesn't feel like my house because none of my stuff's in it. So it is important for me to come back to my house um because it's got all my things in it, you know, and it's got all my memories and things in it. And at the moment it's like so we're having to declutter uh, you know, John's, you know, stuff and John's um wife who's no longer with us, his her stuff as well. And where and he's still got this issue with the you know, the the kind of like um, you know, the children, you know, they they don't necessarily want to let go. One of them does actually. She's like, yeah, no, get I'll crack on with it. It's too it's too cluttered, I want to get rid of some stuff, want to make some changes. Um, but the other one who doesn't live there anymore, hasn't lived there for 17 years, it's just like, but it's all but it's but you're getting rid of you're erasing, raising her memory. Um, but it's like you know, uh you can't live in a museum. That's actually really unhealthy for you. You have to kind of move on from the past and you have to declutter. And I had this conversation with with um somebody else who I work with, and she was in a similar situation and to me, and she's done the same thing, and it's been a bit of a process trying to declutter. And you you keep things, some things, but you don't need to keep all of the things, um, because we keep things, don't we? We hold on to things. Um, do we need things? You don't need that many things, really, do you? You know, I mean you just need basic things, that's all you need. Um, and you just certainly don't need clutter, and the house is starting to look a lot less cluttered, and which makes it easier to clean because it's you know, you're wise, it's dusty and it's a nightmare, and you know, yeah. Um anyway, that's where I'm at with that, and that was how that's how my week's been doing, and I've been saying cram all these things in. Um, even though I do work, I consider them how many hours do I work? Hang on, let me just I've got a calculator here. Um 40 hours a week I work. Okay, so more than the average person. Um, and I still get all of these things in. Okay, I do all of these things, and I know people say to me, 'How do you cram all these things in?' Like, well, I just do. I just don't sit around watching TV. Um, I get out there and I go and do these things. Um, because um there'll be a point in time where I won't be able to do all these things. Um, and I'll be sat in a nursing home somewhere um and I'll be listening to my podcast, going, Wow, I did all those things, and it'll give me all the memories of everything that I've done. Um, and I'll be able to sit back and go, Oh, yeah, do you remember when we did that? Do you remember when I did that? And I remember I did that, and I'll have something to listen to. Um anyway, so hope you all have an absolutely amazing week. Um, thanks for listening to week 10, and uh, I'll catch you next time.