The Father's Business Podcast
The Father's Business Podcast
Prayer Unfiltered: Why Pray?
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If you’ve ever thought, “God is in control anyway, so why pray,” you’re not alone, and you’re not being unfaithful for asking. We sit with the real friction between God’s sovereignty and our lived experience, especially when prayers feel unanswered or outcomes don’t make sense. Prayer Unfiltered is our space to bring the questions we all carry, without turning God into a formula or prayer into a performance.
We talk about what prayer is and what it is not. For us, prayer is relationship: ongoing communion with a holy Father who invites His children close. That’s why prayer includes humility and alignment, not just requests.
If you’re longing for a deeper relationship with God, struggling with unanswered prayer, or trying to understand God’s providence, press play, then share this with a friend and leave a review. What question about prayer do you want us to tackle next? Contact us to let us know your questions.
Welcome And Series Setup
SPEAKER_00Hey friends, I'm Kimberly. And I'm Elizabeth, and this is the Father's Business Podcast, born out of Sylvia Gunter's heart for people to know who God is and who they are in him.
Why Pray If God Rules
SPEAKER_01So wherever you're listening from today, we pray that you will sense his nearness and know that you are his beloved sons and daughters. We're really glad you're here with us today. Welcome everyone to our podcast. We're glad you're with us today. We have started a new series called Prayer Unfiltered. We want to help unpack the questions that you might have as well as we have about prayer. We have received a lot of questions, so thank you for sending them to us. And so where we want to start today is really this first question of why pray if God is in control?
SPEAKER_00Well, yeah, super easy question. Super easy. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I thought I'd start us off with an easy one.
SPEAKER_00It is a it's a question I think that's on all of our minds is even like, why do we pray? Like what is prayer? And you know, Kimberly, I think sometimes we can think that prayer is a Christian thing, and it is something that we're told to do several times in the Bible. But if you think about every type of religion or practice in the world, every religion prays. Now they'd be praying to someone other than the God that we know, and maybe they're not praying to Jesus. Every religion has some type of prayer or meditation practice to it. So there's something innately deeply created in us that longs to connect with a power bigger than ourselves, right? And now we know from a Christian perspective that is something God breathed into us so that we would desire relationship with Him. But regardless of what religion you look at around the world, everyone is praying. And think about it, anytime something happens in someone's life, what is the first thing everyone comments on the post? Thoughts and prayers. And whether you're a Christian or not, a lot of us say thoughts and prayers, or some people send good vibes, but a lot of people say the first reaction to a crisis is thoughts and prayers, which can be comforting. And also, I have several non-Christian people in my life that don't agree with what I believe. But if they're going through something hard and I tell them, I'm praying for you, they say thank you. So there's something in every human's heart that longs to know that there's something bigger than ourselves that we can communicate with and pray for. But we've just spent a couple of weeks having conversations about God's sovereignty and his providence and his provision. And we read a lot of verses like Isaiah 46, 9 and 10, that says, I am the God and there is no other, I am God and there's none like me. And so the questions that start bubbling up in our hearts sometimes is if God knows everything and God's in control and he's sovereign and he's my provider, then why do I even pray? So we're gonna spend some time today talking about that a little bit. And this is a big question, and we're gonna wrestle with it and see what God might want to say to our hearts today about him inviting us into a relationship with him. So, Kimberly, you asked me why do we pray? So I'm gonna throw it back at you. It's like, what is the purpose of prayer? What is prayer? Why why are we told to pray?
What Prayer Is And Is Not
SPEAKER_01Sure, I think that's a good question. Let's first normalize the fact that we're all gonna struggle probably at some point in our lives with prayer. It's talking to someone we can't see really. And yet, this is often an analogy that's been used, is like we don't see the wind, but we see the effects of the wind by the trees moving and things, but we don't actually always see the wind. And so I think there is an element of faith that has to come into play here. Obviously, it's a it's a small mustard sea faith. And so our our faith has to also be a thoughtful faith. It has to be a faith that really recognizes that there's tension in scripture and there's tension in our Christian faith with I'm asking someone outside of myself bigger than me, that I can't necessarily see to do something powerful, right? So, so what is prayer? Prayer, I mean, first off, let's talk about what it's not, because that's probably easier. Prayer is not informing God of our truth, of our I mean, we can we can tell him about our feelings if we want to. That's part of prayers, but that gets to what prayer is. Prayer is a relationship, but but it's not informing God. It's not telling him everything that's going on as if he doesn't know. It's not controlling God, it's not manipulating God, it's not directing him where to go and telling him what to do, but it's recognizing like faith, like the faith of a mustard seed. I have to recognize my place and that he has authority and that he knows what's best. Even if I think I know what's best and I'd like to know what's best, I can have a conversation with him about that, but I don't get to control him or manipulate him. And I don't need to convince him in my prayers. Prayer doesn't need to be about convincing God of what I think is right. Because then again, that puts me back in that position of not having faith, but putting myself in control and in power. So, what is prayer? Prayer is, I think first and foremost, we said this last time, it's a relationship. Prayer is a relationship with a holy God, with a personal God, with a father, with a friend, with someone who's other than, with someone who sees all, created all, knows the beginning and the end and the in between. And it's like you said last week, it's a matter of Adam and Eve walking in the garden that talking with God was prayer. They were abiding with him and talking with him. And we see that that is what prayer is. It's I don't, I don't typically ask someone for something if I don't have a relationship with them to a certain degree. And I'm even thinking, okay, we'll break that down to when I go to a restaurant or a coffee shop or whatever, I I have to ask for something, but I'm in a short-term relationship with that person because they're serving me, or I'm, you know, being of some benefit or service to them. But but at the end of the day, there is some level of relationship when we're asking God. We're not just asking God to, you know, serve me a c a vintage, latte, whatever, right? Or can you give me some more sweet tea or refill my water? Typically, we're talking to God about the bigger things. So this question of why pray if God is in control? There's an assumption there in our faith that God is in control. Right. So I'm asking him because I trust that he's in control. So I ask him because I want to participate with him. Like prayer is participating with God in that, not in the control piece of it, but in the relationship with him, where he wants, this is where the father heart of God can get often misunderstood, right? Like we have to understand the father heart of God wants to give his children the desires of their heart when we're aligned with him, right? When we're walking in step with him. He wants to not please us in an acquiescent kind of way. Scripture says that a father gives good gifts to his children. When we are in relationship with God and we are participating with him, it's that father and child, father and son or daughter element to where we are working together. In the New Testament, we are told to be ambassadors of the faith, which means we're on mission with him. Like he has put us, no matter what time period, in this particular time period, it's April 2026, and God has placed us, you and me, and those of you that are listening, he has placed us in this time and in this season for reasons. He wants us to be at work with him in the things he's doing in the kingdom of God and in the kingdom of this world right now. He's done that throughout history. We can look back and say he has called us to be ambassadors. So that's that element of I think we are participating with him. And we don't do that haphazardly. We don't do that by just reading his word and then going and doing it. We have to talk with him. We have to commune with him, and we have to be in alignment with him, which is another thing that prayer is. You said that last time, prayer is aligning ourselves with our Father because we don't know what his will is.
When God Seems To Relent
SPEAKER_00But that that leads us back to this question of this tension of God is his sovereign and he's inviting us to be a part of his world. I mean, you think about it, even creation. Before he created the earth and put Adam and Eve in the garden, there was no time. Come on, we're with him in this point in time in April of 2026. He even constructed time in order to have a relationship with us. There's this enormous, majestic picture of who God is and his great fullness. And so I do believe, as I was reading in Isaiah 46, that he is the God and there is no other. He has seen the beginning from the end and his counsel shall stand. But at the same time, he invites us to pray. So God is sovereign and we're still invited to pray. And he tells us if we call on him, he will answer us. And there are places in scripture where God seems to change his mind. So this is the the fun otherness of God that we get to kind of squirm around in here, Kimberly today, to answer the question, why do we pray? And does it change things? Because there's multiple places in scripture where it seems that God says, This is what I'm gonna do. And then someone goes, Would you have another thought? And then he relents. So let's talk about that a little bit. I'll give I'll give you one example is Moses in Exodus 32. It's kind of summarizing that. Moses came to God and he said, Oh Lord, why does your wrath burn hot against your people? Well, it burns hot against his people because they had rebelled against him again. This is not their first time. Um and God's just like, that's it. I'm done. I'm gonna destroy them. We're done here. I've given you a chance, I gave you another chance, I gave you another chance, and y'all just continue to be rebellious, so I'm done. But Moses prays, turn from your burning anger and relent from this disaster against your people. And then it says a couple of verses later, and the Lord relented from the disaster that he had spoken of bringing against his people. So it feels like Moses changed God's mind. Did he? What are your thoughts on that, Kimberly?
SPEAKER_01I mean, I think that Moses prays and God responds. Like I, you know, did God change his mind? I I'm not God, I don't know, but what I do think we take away from that is Moses prayed and God heard Moses' prayer. Yeah, and God responded to him.
Trusting God In The Tension
SPEAKER_00And I mean there there's other examples. Hezekiah is another famous one where uh you know the prophet comes to him and says, You're gonna die. He's in bed and turns his back to the wall and cries out to God and prays, and he says, Would you give me 15 more years? And again, God seems to relent and say, I've heard your prayers, I've seen your tears, and yeah, I'm gonna give you 15 more years. Now, here's the fun one about this story, because I like complicated stories in the Bible, because there's not black and white with God, and that's that's the fun part is those next 15 years, Hezekiah did not make wise decisions. The Babylonians come and instead of being wise, he shows them everything, all of his riches, all of his wealth, all of his stuff. And Isaiah comes back around. He's like, When the Babylonians showed up, what did you show them? He's like, Oh, I showed them everything. And Isaiah's like, Well, that wasn't real smart. This is the Elizabeth version of the Bible, by the way. But that wasn't real smart. And what that means is they're gonna come in and take over. And Hezekiah's question was in my lifetime, in the next 15 years that I've got, and Isaiah said, No, it'll be later. And Hezekiah's like, okay, cool. So he's okay with future generations being put into bondage because of his bad decisions. And I'm like, okay, God, if you knew everything about us, you know our hearts, you know our motivations, whatever, why'd you give that guy 15 more years? You know? So there is such a depth and a complexity to this question that God is God and we are not, and we're never gonna fully understand it. But I mean, I can just keep rolling through scripture. There's another one where David, man after God's own heart, is told that his son is gonna die as a result of punishment for things that David did. And David fasted and pleaded and prayed with him, please don't take my son, and his son still died. And more you read the Bible, the more you're like, God, I don't begin to understand you. And there is a much bigger story that you're playing. And so, how do we enter into a relationship with a God that is not fully understandable? Doesn't always act in the way that our human logic thinks he should act, is in control, but ask us to pray. But sometimes when we pray, he responds, and sometimes he doesn't.
SPEAKER_01And one of the things I don't like in this tension is I don't want him to be this, and yet at the same time, I wish he was more like this, is he's not the genie in the bottle that I can give the three wishes to and and conjure it up and tell him what to do and wish hard enough that he would do it, and therefore he'll do it. You know, like that that's not who he is. And that's one of the truths I think we have to hold on to is that God is always true to his character. We did a series last year on the character of God, who is God. Like we could have this whole podcast could have been an episode after episode after episode on the characteristic of God because he is so many things. He is so other, he is so near, he is so close. Like, and so many of those things seem to contradict themselves. He's close and yet he's holy, you know? The fact of the matter is that there is tension in in this conversation. There's gonna be tension in these prayer conversations, but the one thing that I can hold on to is that I know without a shadow of doubt, God doesn't change his character. He doesn't change his nature. He has an ultimate purpose that he hangs on to, that he knows that he sees. Why did God allow Hezekiah to continue to be in power for 15 years, not caring or not seeming to care? I don't know. I don't know why God would allow things to be lives to be lost or taken away or whatever when it seems like it could have been better if that wasn't. I mean, there are huge, big questions. And yet, why do we pray? We pray to be able to trust him more and to be able to know his character and to be able to be in relationship with him and to be at peace with him and to trust his heart. There was a song back in the day in the good old 90s Christian contemporary music that said, when you can't trace his hand, you can trust his heart.
SPEAKER_00Oh well, Kimberly, one podcast, we're just gonna have a 90s sing-along of old Christian songs. But yes, I do remember that song.
SPEAKER_01I I it's true. We can't trace his hand. We can't see him. It's a true lyric. We have to trust his heart. And some people don't trust his heart, and that's the tension in this. Is I'm not gonna say I trust his heart every time. I I struggle with that. That's that I want to have that childlike faith that turns to him, that sees him, but I also have a human mind that wrestles and doesn't understand and can't always see God come through in the ways that make sense to me. And so there is that tension. But again, it's not about me controlling God. Malachi 3.6 says, For I the Lord do not change. Numbers 23, 19. God is not man that he should lie, or a son of man that he should change his mind. He's true to that. I can't we can't deny that fact. Sure. So when he does seem to change his mind, I think it's more of a response to to the bigger picture he sees. Because, like you said, he created time and yet he is outside of time. He sees the whole bigness of time.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and and God does several times in scripture not only command us to pray, but invite us to pray. James 5.16 says the prayer of a righteous person has great power. Okay, it availeth much if you're if you're using a different version. The well, that's the one I memorized as a child. So the prayer of a righteous person can have a gr a big impact. Or in Ezekiel, when he's saying he's looking for a man among those that could build the walls, like God is constantly seeking out people to partner with him. And that's why I think what you're saying, Kimberly, is so important. I don't think his character or his ultimate purposes change. But I do think just like in any other kind of relationship, he responds to us and he responds to our heart. The verse that we quote a lot of times is if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray, I will answer them. What I like to focus on the is if my people, I will answer them. And it's the will humble themselves and pray. And I think that is one of the purposes of prayer. There's many, is it's a changing of our own heart. It's a resetting of us. It is humbling ourselves. Back to your coffee analogy of in that moment, you are in a place where you are dependent upon the other person giving you something that you're asking for. And there is a slight humility in that. How much more so if we come to God and say, God, I am asking you for this, or I am praying about this situation. I need you to move on my behalf. That is reminding me, I'm not in charge. I don't get to call the shots here. I can make requests, I can pray on other people's behalf, but ultimately it is God who gets to decide not only what he does, but my favorite part, the timing in which he does what he does, which I think sometimes that's why people give up on prayer or say it doesn't work, is you pray and you don't see anything happen. Why why even pray? If when I pray, nothing changes, God's gonna do whatever he wants, so why? And I think it is God is far more interested in my heart. He's far more interested in our relationship with him, far more interested in us knowing who he is and who we are in him than he is in the result of what he's giving us. And yet we both know Kimberly, I mean we got them in our own lives. We all have things that we have prayed about and prayed about and keep praying about and keep trusting that somewhere we're gonna see an answer to this prayer, and yet it feels like it goes unanswered. And that is also the tension we live in is God saying, Call into me and I'll answer you. Okay, God, I've been calling and calling and calling, and I don't seem to see you doing things from my perspective now. What is the true story going on behind the scenes? I have no idea. But there there is far more going on in the everyday moments of our lives than I'd think we could ever comprehend. And I think prayer is just one part of that relationship with him to allow us to experience the deeper things of him.
Jesus Models Surrendered Prayer
SPEAKER_01And we see in scripture, even in that tension, because we're gonna address that tension a little bit more of God not showing up because the questions people are asking, but we see Jesus wrestling with that tension, right? In the garden. In Matthew 26, 39, it says, and going a little farther, he fell on his face and he prayed, saying, My father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me. Nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will. And so there was tension that Jesus felt with his father in God's will being done and him not seeing it, or him not wanting it, or him wrestling with this is your plan. As you were talking, I was thinking back to a season where uh I was working in youth ministry and I was the assistant director and we were hiring a new director. I have a say to a certain degree, but who's this committee gonna bring in? And they're gonna be over me. They're gonna be, you know, my boss, so to speak, and I'm gonna have to work with them. So you're kind of trusting a group of people and trusting God to bring the right person into place. And during that season, I also really wanted God to bring the right person for our students and our families and our church. And so I remember I set my phone every day for 320, 321 for an alarm to go off to remind me to pray, reminding me of Ephesians 3.20 that God can do immeasurably more than we ask or imagine in that passage. And and I would pray that every day. And it I knew that we would get an answer though. See, like I knew that was kind of a short-term. There's gonna be an answer to this at some point. We're gonna hire someone, and the person may not be here forever, but for this season, there will be an answer to that. And I do think God did immeasurably more than I could ask or imagine. But what that did in me was greater than that particular youth director brought to the table, right? Like it was the act of me being faithful. It was the act of me being consistent and me showing up, and not me and my work, but what that did for my relationship with Jesus to be clear. By me showing up and being consistent to talk to him, it was changing me. Because as I've shared, there were times in my life where I did have a hard time taking requests to God. And so this was a season where it it changed and strengthened my relationship with God by taking things to him and aligning myself with what he wanted to do. I had another friend share with me recently that for over four years now, she has been praying at two or three particular times throughout the day for a particular person. And she's like, I don't, I don't, I'm not gonna really see him. I'm not gonna hear the story necessarily. From what I know, it's not working. So prayer isn't necessarily moving the needle, but I know I want to continue to to pray every day for this person, two or three times a day. And I thought, yeah, that's there's so much that happens in our hearts and lives and in our relationship with God. And again, remember, scripture is often asking us to pray corporately as his people as well. If my people will humble themselves, that's that's a call to the community and body of Christ. If we all need to be humbling ourselves, it's not just me individually humbling myself, that's part of it, but we all need to humble ourselves and approach God and trust that he's in control. And imagine what can happen to the greater body of Christ when we all agree to humble ourselves and have a relationship with God, asking your will be done, not mine. Like there's a power in that.
Building A Daily Prayer Rhythm
SPEAKER_00I reminded of a story of someone who was very uh open. They were going through a very difficult time. And a lot of people were like, Why are you sharing this so publicly? And their response was, when the answer comes, I want that many more people to understand the greatness of who God is. And it was, it was it was an amazing, it is one of those times where corporately people were praying. It was for a a child who had been given a horrible diagnosis, and a lot of people were like, hey, you know, just focus on you, stop giving updates, just focus in on your family. And they're like, no, because when God does move, however, He moves, know that the child was gonna be healed in this situation they were. I want more people to see the bigness of who God is. And I think that is the beauty of this corporate prayer, even years of invested prayer. How many more people beyond your friend you're talking about has God pricked their hearts as well? How many more people are praying for that particular situation? And the person has no idea. I mean, not to mention, talks about the great cloud of witnesses that are cheering. Us on, and we've got Jesus as our advocate praying on our behalf and the Holy Spirit interceding. Like we've got a great prayer team. And so prayer becomes less about just bringing your request to God, which we do because we're told in everything through prayer, bring your request to God. He wants to hear what's on our heart, but it's more about joining into this much bigger conversation than we can understand and tuning into joining in with what Jesus is praying on our behalf as our advocate, tuning into the groans of the Holy Spirit interceding on our behalf. I mean, Kimberly, you and I both have been through times and sometimes now are going through times where it's like, I am so glad I've got the Holy Spirit and Jesus praying for me because all I can do right now is groan. I don't have words. I don't know what else to pray. I am exhausted from this situation I am walking through. And how sweet it is to think about not only our our body here on earth and friends and family who love us and are praying for us, but the greater intercession that is going on. And so prayer becomes less of a discipline or a have to or something we've got to accomplish today, and more about let me join in in the greater conversation that's going on. And that's one of the things I'm most excited about getting to heaven and being able to listen in a little, hopefully. Don't know if that's promised or not, but getting to see the other side and go, oh wow, there was so much more prayer and intercession and worship and just enjoying being in God's presence going on than I could have begun to imagine when I'm down here on earth in my little quiet time space having having time with God. And so we're commanded to do it, but we're commanded to do it because it's for our benefit, because it does invite us into a deeper place in God's heart. Like Kimberly, if you and I just never talk to each other, like our relationship with this would not happen. But let's say we just stop texting, Marco polling, talking, recording podcasts together, and I haven't talked to you in six months. Even then, if you were to call me on the phone and say, I need you, I am to the Birmingham Airport in a heartbeat and flying to Virginia to get to you. But how much richer it has been through modern technology that we can, even if it's just through memes trading back and forth on Instagram, we get to throughout the day have those touches of communication and relationship and really feel like we're a part of the other person's life. And I think your friend who's setting alarm, because we have to, because we get distracted. Yesterday I left groceries in the car because by the time I got home, the phone was ringing and I walked upstairs and went, wait, there's still groceries in the car because we are so easily distracted. So I think setting reminders and setting times is is a wonderful discipline to have. But I want to get to a place and I'm not, but I want to be in a place where it feels more like when I see I've got a text or a marker from you. What, what, what's what's gonna happen now? And then, or you won't believe what just happened at Walmart. And I tell you about the silly thing that happened at Walmart. That's the depth and the relational connection that God wants to have with us. That it's not I pray in the morning and then I go about my day, but it's bringing him into the day with us and allowing him to have that constant communion with us as we go.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, James 4 2 says, You do not have because you do not ask. And I think there's a richness of the fact that God never lacks the power, but he invites us into the relationship with him to be a part of it and to to change us and to allow us to be humble and plead with him so that there's some also greater understanding and appreciation for what he's doing and maybe some greater insight into it. Because if we're just going about our day and not paying attention, then we don't kind of get a little narcissistic and isolated, you know? And he wants us to see him working on our behalf and and in and through us and the things around us, because he is at work. So it again, it takes a lot of faith and it takes consistency for us to show up, but he he will be true to his character. The greater truth in prayer is how, like you've said, how he changes us and how he allows us like the privilege of being able to pray to him. Let's talk about that too, right? Like the fact that this great God who created all things and is in control gives us the privilege of access to him, to plead with him, to talk with him, to ask him to move on our behalf, to come to him and say, God, please do these things, and then to get to a place where he where Jesus was with his father to say, Not my will, but thy will be done, trusting in him. To those people who say faith is simple, in some ways it is, and in so many ways, it's hard work as you grow and as you wrestle with with life and hard things in life. And yet there is a good God who is true to his character, who may not always appear good, but has a bigger scope in mind and who is in control. And why do we pray? Why do we pray to a God who's in control? To grow in more trust with him, to grow in more likeness with him, to be in relationship with him. All the things we've talked about. It's it's not simple.
SPEAKER_00Kimberly, I I do believe that a large part of prayer is more about us than him. I think it is about conforming us to more of his thoughts, his will, his mind. It transforms our hearts. It brings peace, because we're told as we bring everything to him, that the peace which passes all understanding will guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. And so there there are a lot of benefits to us. But I think a thought for us to end on is that it also pleases God. Much like if you're in a stage where you've had kids and they've grown up and they've moved moved away, or you know, your best friend has the audacity to live several states away from you. There is a joy that comes when your children want to reach out and talk to you. And there's a heartache that comes when your children are like, well, my life's just busy. And it is, just like my life is busy, but such a delight. I love watching my husband Todd when he sees one of his kids' names come up on his phone. He is so excited to talk to them about what happened in class at university today or what's going on at work or whatever. And I think we also need to be reminded that's part of prayer too, that God delights to hear from his children and he longs to be with us. And he says that we can approach him with confidence. First John 5.14 says, and this is the confidence that we have towards him, that if we ask anything according to his will, that he hears us. And I want to tune in on that last part. God hears us. And so we're not just talking to the air, we're not just repeating meaningless words. We are having a conversation with our loving Abba, who is so excited when he sees our name come up on his collar ID. Have we answered the bigger questions of the sovereignty of God? And do we change God's mind? I mean, what I would say to someone who's who's struggling with that is, well, it might. It might change the co-I mean, we could sit here for another 30 minutes, Kimberly, and tell stories of times that we were in situations and we and a group of people prayed, or we prayed specifically, and we saw a different outcome than what we thought was going to happen. So why not trust that he is a good father and that he will intervene and give it a shot? What what do you have to lose? You have not because you asked not? Okay. I hate that verse because what I think about immediately is how many things did I miss out on because I didn't ask? So maybe our encouragement today is to come to him with confidence as beloved children to a loving father who, if my children ask me, can we do something? And it's within the realms of safety and everything else, I want to say yes to them. Much more so does our Heavenly Father want to say yes to us.
SPEAKER_01So join us next week as we talk more about prayer unfiltered and all the questions that you have, and send us your questions if you haven't already done so. And if you have more questions as you listen to this podcast, you can send them to us by going to thefathersbusiness.com or by following us on Facebook or Instagram at the Father's Biz. We hope that this week, before we're back together again, that you can continue to trust God and practice growing in your relationship with Him as we will too. Be encouraged today.
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