Undetected Narcissist: Heal from Narcissistic Abuse & Spiritual Awakening

Breaking Chains: Understanding and Healing Generational Trauma

• Angela Myer/Kerie Logan • Season 4 • Episode 113

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You may carry grief that isn't yours, patterns that don't feel like your truth, or fears with no identifiable origin in your own life. This isn't coincidence – it's generational trauma, the emotional and psychological pain passed down through your family line.

What if your DNA carries more than just physical traits? Research in epigenetics has shown that when your ancestors experienced traumatic events – war, poverty, abuse, displacement – their bodies responded by altering gene expression to help them survive. These changes were passed down through sperm and egg, impacting how you respond to stress and process emotions today.

The weight of this inherited trauma shows up as chronic anxiety, self-sabotaging patterns, relationship struggles that mirror your parents' dynamics, or a persistent sense of not belonging. These aren't character flaws – they're ancestral burdens you never consciously agreed to carry. But someone needs to break the cycle, or it will keep repeating. That someone can be you.

Through powerful healing modalities like inner child and ancestor work, somatic healing, forgiveness practices, and timeline visualization, you can transform this burden into blessing. When you face and feel what your ancestors couldn't, their survival becomes your sovereignty, their silence becomes your voice, and their pain becomes your soul's purpose. You become the bridge between what was and what can be.

This journey isn't just about healing yourself – it's about liberating your entire lineage. By choosing to untangle these ancestral knots, you heal seven generations backward and forward in a spiral of time. The ancestors who once wept in silence now walk beside you in reverence as you become the living prayer they never knew how to say.

Listen to the end for information about a guided meditation for clearing generational trauma – a sacred journey of healing for you, your ancestors, and the generations yet to come. What if you were born to heal your family tree?

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to Season 4 of the Undetected Narcissist Podcast. Your host, angela Meyer, is here to bring you clarity if you are stuck in confusion, self-doubt or feel lost, without a sense of direction. This podcast is extremely different because Angela comes from a place of wisdom, compassion and has been able to forgive the unforgivable. She's a mental health professional, trauma-informed human consciousness guide and empowerment strategist. She knows one can't truly heal and recover when one is stuck in hate, anger and fear. One must rise above it, find meaning, understanding, compassion for oneself and the toxic people within our lives. This season is about self-empowerment, self-realizations and transformation. There is always a blog post supporting this information, so please visit undetectednarcissistcom so get ready to learn about yourself, others and find a way to truly live and thrive. Once again, enjoy the show.

Speaker 2:

Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of the Undetected Narcissist. Today we will be discussing understanding and healing generational trauma, how we can break those chains. So first, what is generational trauma? Generational trauma, also called ancestral or integrational trauma, is the emotional, psychological and even physical pain passed down through the family line. It doesn't begin with you, but it lives in you. You may carry grief that isn't yours, patterns that don't feel like your truth, or fears that have no identifiable origin in your own life. It's trauma that is inherited, not through direct experience, but through stories. That is inherited not through direct experience, but through stories, silence, behaviors and even biology, the science how trauma gets stored in our DNA. This is just not poetic metaphor. It's science.

Speaker 2:

Research in the field of epigemetics has shown that trauma changes how our genes express themselves. When an ancestor experiences a traumatic event such as war, poverty, abuse, displacement, natural disasters or even systematic oppression, their body responds by altering gene expression to help them survive. These changes can be passed down through sperm and egg, impacting stress responses, immunity and emotional regulation in future generations. In short, your DNA carries more than just your eye color or height. It also holds your great-'s heartbreak and your great grandfather's survival instincts, why it matters Recognizing the hidden burden. Unhealed generational trauma can look like this trauma can look like this Chronic anxiety or depression with no clear cause, stubbornness, narcissism and various phobias, self-sabotaging patterns or addictions, various fears such as fear of success, fear of failure, love being alone or invisibility. Next is a deep sense of not belonging and, lastly, relationship struggles that echo your parents' and grandparents' dynamics.

Speaker 2:

Recognizing generational trauma is the first step in disentangling from it. What patterns do you recognize within yourself or other family members? Remember, you're not broken. You are bearing the weight of your lineage, which has been passed down from generation to generation. Someone needs to break the cycle of generational trauma or it will keep repeating itself. And you have the strength and ability, if you choose, to heal it. To heal it not only for yourself, but for the ancestors behind you and the generations ahead. This is a priceless gift that you are giving yourself and everyone you are giving yourself and everyone, past and future generations.

Speaker 2:

This explains why so many people, especially the younger generations, are struggling with anxiety and depression. More younger generations are caught in the addiction generational trauma loop. The homeless people you see around town are struggling with addictions and mental health issues. I'm sure that when one is living on the streets, they do not feel a sense of not belonging. They don't feel like they belong and societies are rejecting them. And there's not enough mental health providers to meet the demands. An increasing number of people are not getting married. We've heard stories of the generational relationship struggles our parents and grandparents faced and we are saying no, thank you. This is a time for everyone to clean the slate of generational trauma and raise our levels of consciousness out of the fearful 3D framework and into the empowered and enlightened fourth and fifth dimensional framework of higher states of consciousness. We are at a pivotal time where we have the tools and abilities to clear all this generational trauma, and our ancestors did not. I'm sure if they knew they had the power to remove all their generational pain and suffering, they would. So let's count our blessings that we have this information, tools and opportunity to transform many lives.

Speaker 2:

The library of the bloodline here's a metaphor story might relate to. Imagine walking through an ancient, dimly lit library that stretches for miles. This is no ordinary place. It's the library of your bloodline. The walls are lined with books bound not in leather but in memory. Some are cracked open, their pages stained with tears. Others are locked shut, shivering with secrets. You didn't build this library, but you've been handed the key.

Speaker 2:

You walk down the aisles brushing your fingers over the spines war and silence, loss of the mother's tongue, shame in the name of survival, lie, cheat and steal, unresolved grief and regrets, system injustice, conquer, divide and destroy to make your claim. Abandonment and shattered dreams. You are property, not a person. Betrayal and unfinished love.

Speaker 2:

Some books feel heavy in your chest as though you've read them in dreams. Others tug at you though you've never opened their pages. Tug at you though you've never opened their pages, but their stories are somehow inside you. Then you see it a table with a glowing book, blank and waiting. Your name is etched on the cover. This is your chapter.

Speaker 2:

You realize now. You're not here to just read. You're here to rewrite, to gently pick up the stories that were too painful for your ancestors to finish. You are strong and wise because you can feel the grief that was buried beneath silence. You hear the sing, the songs that were never sung. That's right. You are here to sing the songs that were never sung, to change the endings, not with a race, but with love.

Speaker 2:

As you write, light flows back into the shelves. Dust lifts, locked books flutter open. Ancestral whispers echo through the room, not in pain but in praise. You remembered us. They say yes, you, dear one, gave our stories breath. You set us free. You set us free and in doing so you set yourself free.

Speaker 2:

The soul's role. Why you chose this lineage? From a multi-dimensional perspective. Your soul chose this lineage not as punishment but as a sacred assignment. You are the chain breaker, the alchemist, the one who said the pain stops here. By healing what was hidden or denied, you bring light to your entire ancestral line. Some might say it sucks to be you, but your soul knew you had the strength and power to be the chain breaker. That is why you are here and there is no rush. This is not a race. What you do with this information and how you approach it is up to you.

Speaker 2:

So how to spot generational trauma, the right questions to ask? Like always, it's best to start with curiosity, not shame, blame or judgment. Everyone was trying their best with the tools they had available during those challenging times. So I would ask yourself and other family members these curious inquiry questions what patterns repeat in my family? It could be stubbornness, cheating, racism, religious dogma, perfectionism, self-righteousness, vanity, power-hungry, betrayal, rejection, abandonment, narcissism, addictions or limiting beliefs? What is stuck in silence and shame? Why Does my family have any family secrets or taboo topics? They want to stay hidden. Have any family secrets or taboo topics they want to stay hidden?

Speaker 2:

What are the common fears and phobias within my family? What did my ancestors survive? Did addictions run in my family? What hardships did my ancestors endure? Did my ancestors experience abuse, crime, rape, robbery, murder, wars, famine, addictions or natural disasters? How do I react under stress? And who else in my lineage responds the same way? What has always felt not mine, but still weighs heavy on my heart? Have other family members felt like they don't belong within the family unit, like we're all black sheep? Is there a history of trauma passed down from generation to generation where it comes to relationships and marriage? Have my family members ever conducted business in a shady manner? And, lastly, have my family members ever abused another person to take what they want to gain power? These questions reveal the invisible threads weaving through your story.

Speaker 2:

As I began to examine my family tree, I uncovered many hidden secrets that spoke to me, lots of family secrets. I saw narcissism going back four generations. There were addictions, betrayal, abandonment, greed, marriage for money or status, religious narcissism, famine, war, rape and abuse. So much sadness and trauma, but they all survived, stuffing the pain down and smiling like everything is normal. When it was not Now, this thought just came to mind. Would my ancestors be upset with me for speaking their truth? When they could not? I would have to say no. We live in a generation and time where we can break those chains that bind us to generational trauma. They had no idea that future generations would carry all their pain and heartache. So let me give you some tools for healing generational trauma. Here is a pathway to begin the journey. The tools for healing generational trauma One inner child and inner ancestor work.

Speaker 2:

This one is my specialty and anyone can do it. I briefly covered this concept in Shadow Integration and Healing In a meditative state. You want to create a safe space within your mind, to have dialogue with both the child and the elder within you. Let them speak, listen and thank them for taking care of you. Now you release the pattern within you and integrate this newer, stronger, whole version of you. Then imagine the future of what life would be and can be now that you are healed. 2. Family Constellation Therapy. This work is powerful. It is a healing modality that reveals hidden dynamics in the ancestral field and brings resolution.

Speaker 2:

Number three somatic healing and breath work. Trauma is just. It's not just a thought, it's a sensation. It gets trapped in your body. Those sensations it gets trapped in your body, those sensations. Releasing it through the body is key.

Speaker 2:

Now I need to elaborate on this one. I'm the type of person who dislikes being told I cannot do something without someone's help. This is a form of gaslighting. Let me give you an example. I went to see a chiropractor in my 20s and he said I would never be able to do X. I forget what X was, but that's not the point. My healing process was simple. Whenever I felt tension in my body during yoga, I stopped. I connected to that part of my body. Then I vantialized, sending pink hearts into the muscles, joints, blood and tissues. I filled it with love. I said I was sorry, I asked for forgiveness, I told my body that I was safe and it could relax, and I sent myself love. I did this until X went away, and it did so didn't need that chiropractor, so didn't need that chiropractor.

Speaker 2:

Number four ritual and ceremony Light a candle for an ancestor, write them a letter, grieve what they couldn't, honor them. You can also incorporate step seven in this process, each time you light the candle for a specific ancestor or relative. The beautiful truth is this one is some, some cultures, already doing this for their loved ones, and so thank you. Number five epigenetic awareness through lifestyle, healthy food, rest, mindfulness, self-awareness, practice of self and others and stress reduction techniques can literally reprogram gene expression. When we experience trauma or abuse, we become wired for drama. Our nervous system is on high alert. That is why we all need to learn to slow down and show ourselves some grace, patience, compassion and kindness daily. Some might call this being selfish, but I call it soul transformation Plus your body, nervous system, mind, spirit and emotions will thank you in the end.

Speaker 2:

Number six forgiveness work. Forgiveness doesn't mean condoning harm. It means freeing yourself from its echoes. Make a list of the people you need to forgive Before you go to bed each night. Pick three people from your list. Make sure two are easy and one is hard. Breathe while doing this forgiveness work, as you may notice that your breath becomes labored or changes like you might hold it when you do this work. This is normal and a sign that you are releasing trapped memory emotions that got stored within the body. If you need extra support, listen to the episode on how to forgive the unforgivable. And then the last one and this one I said you can incorporate with lighting the candle Number seven quantum visualization, or timeline healing.

Speaker 2:

This is another one of my favorite approaches Visualize, imagine or see your lineage as a line of time above your head. The left can be your past and the right your future. Imagine this timeline covered in dark goop. I like to use the sound of rain while I imagine the drain drops washing away all the pain, trauma, heartache and sadness. I visualize all the darkness dissolving and melting away and leaving the timeline as a shimmering golden line of time, knowing the raindrops are dissolving the dark patterns and filling the timeline with patterns of love, strength, compassion, forgiveness, happiness, joy and my soul's truth, from burden to blessing. The miracle is this when you face and feel what your ancestors couldn't, you don't just heal, you transform. Their survival becomes your sovereignty form, their survival becomes your sovereignty. As the seasons pass, their silence becomes your voice. Over time, their pain becomes your soul's purpose. You are the bridge between what was and what can be. You are the one the lineage has been waiting for.

Speaker 2:

Shifting from the lens of just being human into the soul's larger journey brings such freedom and perspective. It helps us see trauma not as punishment or curse, but as a part of the alchemy of remembrance and return, stepping out of the human into the soul, turn, stepping out of the human into the soul. Take a moment and imagine yourself gently stepping back from the human story. You've been carrying the labels, the roles, the pain, the inherited patterns. All of it is real, yes, but it is not the fullness of who you are, no-transcript. When we can do this, we begin to weave these soul perspectives into healing, creating a continuous flow with clarity and grace. Beyond the human experience lives your soul, infinite, timeless and whole. From this higher vantage point, trauma is no longer just suffering, point. Trauma is no longer just suffering. It becomes a thread in the greater tapestry of your soul's unfolding.

Speaker 2:

The wounds your family carried were never meant to define you. They weren't. They were invitations to awaken, to choose differently, to transform heaviness into light. As the soul you see clearly you are not broken. You are not just the weight of your lineage. You are the one your ancestors dreamed of, the one who can turn cycles of pain into rivers of freedom. Every challenge becomes a stepping stone, every wound an opening to greater compassion. You are not trapped in a human story. You are the author of a soul journey and in this awareness you remember I came here to embody light, to no longer dim it or hide it, but to shine my light. To remember I am light. I came here to heal and to be free, not to carry the burdens of the past, but to liberate my soul. I am more than this moment as I stand in my truth, I am eternal and I am whole. Closing thoughts you didn't come here to carry the weight of generational trauma. You came here to transmute it. That is why your soul is here on earth at this time, to clear the path not only for yourself but for future generations.

Speaker 2:

The pain cycle stops with you. You are not the wound. That is a human misconception. You are the remedy written in soul light. In fact, you are not bound by bloodline. Your soul is the breath of liberation moving through it. You didn't build this library, but you've been handed the key.

Speaker 2:

The stories you've inherited are not curses. They are contracts of transformation. They are contracts of transformation and you know how the power to fulfill it. That is why I say all the pain stories that are stored within us, both consciously and unconsciously, are just information. The soul does not invest or attach to any of these pain stories. It is here to learn, grow, expand and release what no longer serves the evolution of your soul. Therefore, each time you choose to feel what was buried, to speak what was silenced, to love what was unloved, you rewrite the entire field. You untangle timelines, you heal forward and backwards in a spiral of time. And do not fear, you are not alone in this sacred work. Everyone here on earth is recognizing and clearing what was in the past. Now you are the bridge between what was and what can be.

Speaker 2:

The ancestors who once wept in silence now walk beside you in reverence. They braid light into your footsteps and they hum through the roots Quietly. They whisper in the wind. We rise because you remembered us, and I just got chills by saying that their survival becomes your sovereignty, their silence becomes your song. So walk gently, walk bravely. Let your heart be the pin, allow your body to be the altar of transformation, let your life be the offering. You are the living prayer they never knew how to say and you, dear one, are setting eternity free. You are the residing prayer. They never knew how to say. It is time. We say it is time to set yourself free.

Speaker 2:

Like always, I have created a guided meditation for clearing generational trauma. This meditation is a sacred journey of healing for you, your ancestors and the generations yet to come Together. We will work with the tree of life, a living symbol of connection, strength and renewal. Generational trauma is the unspoken pain that passes quietly through family lines. Sometimes it shows up as fear, heaviness or patterns we don't fully understand.

Speaker 2:

Today, you are choosing to bring light to these patterns, to honor your lineage with love and to release what no longer needs to be carried. Longer needs to be carried. As you listen, remember you are safe, supported and deeply held. Nothing will be forced. Only what is ready to be healed will rise and the earth itself will lovingly receive all that is released. This practice is not just for you. It ripples backward to your ancestors and forward to the generations ahead. By doing this work, you become the bridge of freedom, a living tree of life rooted in love. So take a deep breath, let your heart soften and when you're ready to set yourself free and everyone free, we will begin Until next time and love and light. Angela Meyer, keri Logan Bye.