Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

"Comparison is the Thief of Joy." 

You know that not everyone on Tik Tok is authentic. You know that not everyone looks perfect in person. But YOU constantly compare yourself to them. How can you expect yourself to be happy when you are always seeing things that you don't have. You are always seeing how you're not good enough. Stop doing that! If uou want to be happy, go through your room and realize what you do have. Start a grateful journal. 

#selfhelp #motivation #success #inspiration #lifecoach #passion #dreamjob #recentgraduates #college #twentysomethings #youngadult

Chapters

• 2:24 For Tik Tok
• 6:03 Depends Who
• 10:16 Where are the People Who Create Value

Transcript

Whatever you believe becomes your reality. This is Shayna Weldon. Thank you for tuning in. It is time to elevate your life. Twice a week, I give guidance for you to pursue your passions and live your best life. And it's go time.

The purpose of today's podcast is to talk about comparison. So I finished work and I was in my bed and I was going through tick tock. First off, before I always start, I always tell myself, Shayna, you're only going to be on here for 10 minutes.

I look at the clock. I make note of the time. I recount. It's going to be 10 minutes. And I say, okay, you got to go for this time. Now, I don't think I'm like everybody else. I'm pretty good.

Some inner strength and a lot of inner strength going on. And I feel that I could get off in 10 minutes when I want to get off in 10 minutes. Well, 40 minutes goes by and I realized that I'm like everybody else and that I can't take away that human nature part of me.

So I'm in tick tock and I follow fitness accounts. People that are working out and I come across. This one guy isn't like a usual fitness account, so usually they're showing me a new workout or what they ate in the day or this new technique to grow their quads or triceps.

So this was a new person who came on and he said, I just discovered and I was immediately hooked. And he says, I just realized that. Not everyone or he says. I realize that it filters accounts that I follow.

Everyone looks jacked, everyone looks amazing. They're extremely built. Their physique is incredible. They're repping some fancy brand. And they're in their peak. And he keeps thinking, Well, I'm not like that and I want to get like that. And I think that we're constantly being fed information, things that we don't have how, are not perfect, how we don't have the latest skincare routine with this fancy moisturizer that we don't have the up and coming workout brand that all the fitness people are wearing. And oh, oh, if you work out, then you you probably own gymshark and I don't know if you're really upper class, then you would own some Chanel perfume and you're always saying what you don't have. How everybody else has it. But you. What a loser you are. Because you can't afford what they have. And you're not like them. And we're constantly comparing ourselves to people and saying, well, we don't have. How can we expect ourselves to be happy? Well, we're always comparing. It makes no sense. We do stop. But I think how could we?

Because we're we're constantly saying things that we don't have going back to this guy. So he says, I just realized that I've always felt in some foreign influencers that look super jacked. I'm not like that. But also. It's not normal to work out six days a week for 3 hours.

It's not normal to regulate your macros or your carbs and put it on a scale before eating. That's not normal. And I'm only reminded of that or even to this, but I'm saying I'm only reminded that that's not normal when I actually go into a gym and I see people that look normal a little bit bigger, a little bit center, a little bit wider. A little bit taller. A little bit shorter. And everyone is just normal. Well, you don't see that on TikTok. You don't see the regular people on your feed. At least I don't.

And it's really sad. So the quote that I immediately think of is comparison is the thief of joy. I got it from one of my books and it's so true. Usually nothing ever good comes out of comparing, and usually we realize that we're not good enough.

And we're constantly we find information that proves to us that we're not good enough. And so really, it's time to stop that. I think honestly what stops this is a night before you go to bed having a grateful journal and marking down everything that you're grateful for, everything but three things that you're extremely grateful for, and then

you realize what you do have. Also, I was at work and I have to tip the busboy. 20% got $15 in cash and I had to then give my busboy 20%, which would be $3. So I gave him a dollar and then I give him a ten hour bill, which I somebody happened to tip me.

So I just give it to the busboy. And I gave him the $2 and he goes, Oh, my gosh, this is a lucky bill. And he says, Yes, the last time, five years ago, I got a $2 bill, and it was the best years of my life.

And I just know that it's super lucky. I said, That's great. And he goes, But I actually had to give away the $2 bill at a Y. But you're lucky charm. I'm sure you would do anything to not lose it. It says, well, I, when you're broke, I, I had to I had to spend it. I had to use it. Wow. He really needed the money. And and so instead of keeping his lucky charm, which is a $2 bill, he had to spend it.

He had to spend this $2. That made me want to collect all the $2 bills that I have. I think I have four in total. I know. I know that. But I do maybe want to go collect all my my $40 bills and give it to him.

And then I wanted to lessen the lucky ness because I think if he has more. But it it ruins it takes away the look. Which is crazy how that works. But back to the point, I realized that I should be more grateful of things that I have.

Any time, any really valuable lesson. And so that night I went home and I thank my parents and I really realized how grateful I am. So when I compare myself to someone who is a millionaire and is buying Lambos, I think, Wow, I don't have anything.I don't have a dad. I compare myself to this man. I think, well, I have a lot. And interesting how the comparisons it is. People are already being like, why am I comparing myself to these people that I don't even know?

Why don't I just, first off, not compare and then just realize what I have in my life and work from that. We don't do that and we're in a classless society where we're being reminded that we're not good enough because we don't have things that other people do have.

And also I want to share that I successfully submitted. Well, I've recorded a few episodes and. It's really exciting. To see my a huge goal that I've had be put into action. And this feeling is cloud nine. I don't even know how to really explain it.

I'm proud of myself for really doing this and I'm going to remember this feeling. Whenever I get a little down. And saying, Wow, I should have more episodes. Wow, I should have started earlier. I'm just going to be reminded of how I feel right now. I also messaged a few of my friends the episodes and all of them overwhelming support from all my friends and I'm so grateful that they are so supportive of me. And one of my friends, Shaina even wanted this for a long time.

And I'm so happy for you. So, so nice. And I have been wanting it for a long time. And I'm so excited to see where this goes. I was literally sleeping while trying to go to bed. I couldn't go to bed. I just watched the tick tock. My mind started wandering like it usually does, and I thought, Well, I have to speak to people. I should just share this idea of just what I'm thinking so that they know that they're not alone and comparing themselves and to stop comparing yourselves to the people that you see on TikTok.

When I first started my tok, I thought, Wow, I'm so late. Everybody in their mom has one. But wow, look at this girl. She amassed 2 million followers, and I don't even get what she really even does. Well, I don't have that

I thought of all the friends that I know, how many of my friends actually have a tik tok? And I thought none. And then I was reminded that I'm comparing myself to people on TikTok that aren't the classic normal people, and then I don't even compare myself to begin with and just start and create whatever I want

to create. And also, I saw that I sometimes follow people, I guess, in the entrepreneurial space that like to make money. And this one girl comes up, I've never seen her before. And I think she has a good amount of I think I think she has 500 K now, maybe less than that.

I don't know, maybe 80, 80 K. And I'm looking at her recent videos and she's talking about ways to make money. And and she's saying, oh, create this product. And she's listing a whole bunch of websites and says, go to Canva and create your design and then put it on this pillow or jacket or whatever, or create

a Shopify account and then sell it. I can see comments and people saying, Oh, like, how do you do this? What's crazy is that first, I don't even know if she's credible, but we're basing our credibility off of the followers that people have, which doesn't even show their experience at all or actually how much money that they

have. But we believe these people. And so I think, like, people are getting prodded, not that she's doing that, but I can just see how easy it is to find people. But second off, why are we teaching people to create a design and put it on a pillow?

To insult people? To make money? Like where is the creating value and really assessing what characteristics or qualities you have and how to give those qualities to the world? Or is that how can I help other people not make them into buying this cheap pillow that I put a hard on?

But now we're all about making money and looking good. Instead of really helping others in realizing, what are we really here for? What legacy do you want to leave? How do you want to impact the world? How do you want to help people?

How do you like? Really think about it? What's a group of people that you really want to help and how do you want to help them? How do you want to be helped? What do you wish someone did to help you?

And then go and create that. Where are the people saying what I just said? Instead of. Here's how to make money and get people's money and make a small commission. All these affiliate links, I see these all the time of the year.

Tick tock, tick tock. Corzine's influencers having these affiliate links and just to make money. Becoming a skims affiliate and then play on their page saying they like the product. Well, I mean, maybe they do, and that's great. But I think most of the time they don't, and they're buying scams and then having their followers use their links to then make money. I mean, I was on YouTube and I was looking at what podcast mikes to buy, and I came across as one person who never really thought through a description. And I use this link. I thought, Thanks, man.

I'm happy to use your link because you really helped me out and gave a good description for this Mike. Now, hopefully he's using that mike again. I don't know, but I definitely trust him. But I don't get the people that are just trying to become affiliates to just to make this money.

Or is that what this is about? The world now just making money? Again instead of realizing. Your true potential or how to help others. How to contribute to the world. How to bring value. Where are you different and how can you exploit your differences to help others?

Like, for example, I feel like I'm different because I went through this, got this engineering degree, yet I want to become a life coach and also really help people pursue their passions in life and guide them to be their best potential.

And I feel I'm really different from other engineers. And so I want to help people just like me who are in the same boat, who don't want to. But I want to do engineering even maybe on the side.

But I also want to pursue something else. And that's the unique perspective that I give. And I realize that I can help others. So everyone has a unique perspective. So what's yours? And before you say you don't know, why don't you sit in front of the mirror, put your timer on for 20 minutes and really look at yourself. And ask yourself, how am I different? What can I bring? And if you really don't know, you call me. You find a way to message me and I'll respond. And I am more than happy to guide you, help you out.

I just think we're losing our touch with I say humanity and also why we're here. And really thinking deep and introspective. But we're so busy that we don't. We get up in the morning and we immediately check our emails, even though we've heard countless of times, Don't do that, or we go on Instagram or TikTok, even though again, we've heard countless amount of times. Don't do that. Ruined your mental health. It's not good for your well-being. Get up and thank God. Get up. And, I don't know. Brush your teeth and be present. Get up and write what your goals are for the day and get up and just breathe for 5 minutes.

But we don't. And so we're on our phone and we're scoring or reading through our emails or reading an article. And then the day comes around. We're eating our breakfast, also looking at our phones. Then we also look at our phone throughout the day.

Then we're talking to people. Then we go to work. Then we have school and we're talking to more people on the phone. And then we get home or we go to the gym and we're listening to music and then more music.

Anyways, the purpose of this is that you're never sitting by yourself alone, really, in a tranquil state, thinking about your life, what you want. What's going on? How do you really feel? What direction is your life going? What direction do you want it to go?

Who do you want to be in the future? How do you want to act? What person do you want to live in to? I want to be super happy. Okay, well, live. Live into being super happy. Whenever you hear a negative thought, replace it with a positive one.

Live into being the happy person that you want to be, but you'd only discover that you want to be this happy person. If you really sit with yourself and think, What do you want? Well, we have so much information coming at us that we never actually sit down and take a second to think about our lives and what we want. So I'm asking you. Can you sit down for 20 minutes? Look yourself in the mirror and think about what person you want to be. What unique qualities you have, what value you bring to the world.

What legacy do you want to leave? And how can you reach your highest potential? What is your highest potential? And let me know what you get at the end of all this.

Podcast, motivation, mindset, college, twenty years old, 20 year old, grow, learn, self improve, young adult