The Archives: The Forge

In this episode, we take it back to the very beginning—before the wins, before the lessons made sense, before we knew who we were becoming. We open up about our early lives, the environments that shaped us, and the defining moments that set us on our current paths.

From facing adversity and navigating uncertainty to learning hard truths about resilience, identity, and purpose, this conversation dives into the raw, unfiltered experiences that built our foundation. We talk about the trials that tested us, the failures that refined us, and the mindset shifts that ultimately changed everything.

This isn’t just a reflection—it’s a breakdown of how life’s obstacles can become catalysts. How setbacks can sharpen perspective. And how every challenge, whether understood at the time or not, contributes to the person you are today.

If you’ve ever questioned your path, struggled through setbacks, or wondered how your past connects to your present—this episode is for you.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:01

I mean eventually by the time the game comes out in October he'll panle sh he'll be able to panhandle enough to get seventy dollars, so it's not that big of a deal.

SPEAKER_05 0:11

Are you gonna like stand outside of a seven eleven? Can I do that? More I need more, sir. More.

SPEAKER_06 0:39

You see this shit? Texan on the fucking job. Typical fucking millennials. Sex slowly slips the fucking phone away.

SPEAKER_00 0:56

Did you guys ever own a sidekick?

SPEAKER_03 0:59

Yes. My wife actually and I had a conversation about that the other day. That was actually my favorite phone of all time.

SPEAKER_04 1:05

It's so cool. Oh. I I'm on here several times a day. I'm always looking.

SPEAKER_03 1:15

Can you show John how to use that app?

SPEAKER_00 1:17

I tried. I applied to 12 different places and they all said no.

SPEAKER_03 1:21

Oh, would you apply? Uh like John, I don't think you have the uh qualifications to be a rocket scientist, so hopefully that's not weird.

SPEAKER_04 1:28

I'm just saying, like put your resume in Indeed. Everyone that allows you to fucking just quick apply, do it.

SPEAKER_03 1:37

I don't have a resume. Okay, so that was that was literally my next question. Do you know how to make a resume? I'm not being an asshole. Okay. Can I help you make a resume? I mean that. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:47

I also have a book that uh is very helpful for this. I can find it.

SPEAKER_03 1:53

Don't need a fucking book to make a resume.

SPEAKER_04 1:56

Dog, like it walks you through everything. It is awesome.

SPEAKER_05 2:02

And you heard it here first, folks. Zach, a professional resume builder.

SPEAKER_04 2:10

I mean, I have a pretty decent resume for the shitty experience that I have. Books.

SPEAKER_06 2:19

They help sometimes. Books. Books.

SPEAKER_05 2:25

Welcome back, everybody, to the Magnum Podcast. I am one of your hosts, Richard Martin. We got the beautiful, even though you know we had some animosity towards one another before the podcast, the beautiful Kevin McLaughlin. We have the uh always wanting Mountain Dew to sponsor us, sponsor him, Zach McLean. That's James.

SPEAKER_02 2:46

That's actually Pepsi Co. Peppies. We need a sponsor Pepsi Co.

SPEAKER_05 2:50

Peppies.

SPEAKER_02 2:52

Pepies.

SPEAKER_05 2:53

And we have the you'll float too, John Rowe. That's me. John. I mean, I bet.

SPEAKER_00 3:00

He has more money than I do.

SPEAKER_05 3:01

I've been with you most of the day.

SPEAKER_00 3:04

Yes.

SPEAKER_05 3:04

How was your fucking day for How's your day when you were away from the computer?

SPEAKER_00 3:11

It was good. I went on two walks today. I usually only do one. So twice. I jammed out three miles today. No, I went outside.

SPEAKER_04 3:22

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_00 3:22

I did it.

SPEAKER_04 3:23

Good for you, dude.

SPEAKER_00 3:25

Yeah. I've been doing it more and more every day, which is nice.

SPEAKER_06 3:31

Right on.

SPEAKER_00 3:32

Yeah, two. It was either two and a half or three miles we we walked, me and my boy. And uh you saw a lizard. Scared the shit out of himself. Wanted to go home, and I said, no, we're gonna keep going. So we went. And we saw a bunch of butterflies. Let me tell you, those butterflies. Ooh. Beautiful.

SPEAKER_03 3:50

So you forced your child to do something he didn't want to. Can somebody get CPS on the line, please?

SPEAKER_00 3:55

Well, I told him stop being a little bitch, and then we kept walking.

SPEAKER_03 4:01

So mental mental abuse as well, huh?

SPEAKER_04 4:05

He's like, if I have to be out here and afraid, so do you. Zach, how was your day? Uh not bad. I mean, it was what it was. Uh work was kind of fucking shitty today. We got slammed with trucks and then uh I took a nap after work, which was glorious.

SPEAKER_00 4:32

What'd you dream about?

SPEAKER_04 4:34

Uh I didn't dream. It was only an hour and a half nap, and uh it wasn't enough time for me to get into an actual deep sleep. However, my alarm went off right at seven. Because I was like, oh, I'm gonna, you know, get up and be a little bit.

SPEAKER_03 4:53

I mean he's so sorry.

SPEAKER_04 4:56

He was kind of slumped over his bed. I I thought he had an issue going on for a moment.

SPEAKER_00 5:01

He's just hiding the body, it's okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 5:04

Sorry, Zach. I was closed out, so I had to say something.

SPEAKER_04 5:11

But uh so uh my alarm went off at seven, right? And I was like, oh fuck, all right. I I dismissed it, and I was like, I'll get up, I'll get up. And then my phone rang, and I was like, oh god damn it, no, I really have to get up, I can't go back to sleep. So I got up and was a little productive, got some food ordered, and uh yeah, that was my day.

SPEAKER_03 5:33

I will say, at almost 34 years old, I thoroughly enjoy that hour and a half, two-hour nap during the day.

SPEAKER_04 5:43

Oh man, dude. It's something about it just hits differently.

SPEAKER_03 5:47

That is a glorious time. Although lately it seems like I start to lay down to take that hour and a half nap, and five hours later I wonder where my day's gone. That does happen to me now.

SPEAKER_04 5:58

So I like to call it nap roulette.

SPEAKER_03 6:00

Nap roulette.

SPEAKER_04 6:02

We'll we'll see.

SPEAKER_05 6:05

We'll see what happens. Kevin, you're gonna be 20 minutes.

SPEAKER_03 6:11

I I didn't I didn't do that much today, I'm gonna be honest with you guys. I was pretty much a lazy bones today. Uh I was gonna mow the lawn, I was gonna go to the beach, thunderstorms cut the power for a little while, so I didn't do that. Definitely didn't get to the lawn. I watched a lot of Master Chef today with the wife. That's kind of our thing.

SPEAKER_04 6:35

Well, what season-ish?

SPEAKER_03 6:36

Uh we are on season six. Okay, I want to say six or seven. Um we love cooking shows. Anything with Gordon Ramsay. That bastard's hilarious. He's hilarious, and he's amazing. He's he's a pretty cool guy. Um, and eight chips. I I don't know. I was very not to the world today, and that's okay.

SPEAKER_04 7:03

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 7:03

And that it makes you wonder why I was busy though, doesn't it?

SPEAKER_04 7:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:07

Is that what you're gonna say?

SPEAKER_04 7:09

No, I was gonna go in on Gordon Ramsay though. Um shout out to his episode with Mr. Beast, which was fucking hilarious.

SPEAKER_03 7:18

He did an episode with Mr. Beast.

SPEAKER_04 7:20

Did yeah, he judged a cooking competition for Mr. Beast.

SPEAKER_03 7:24

Oh, that's amazing.

SPEAKER_04 7:25

With a bunch of people who had no idea what they were doing.

SPEAKER_03 7:28

No, you want to know what I was busy doing? Spending wonderful quality time with my beautiful wife. That's what I was doing. Let's see. Shout out. Love you, Erica. What'd you do? And that's how you get brownie points, boys. That's how it's done. Didn't do anything. I love my wife. That's what I'm guilty of.

SPEAKER_04 7:50

Who do you love? Just guilty on the line today.

SPEAKER_03 7:54

Yeah. Yeah. It's true. That's what I did today.

SPEAKER_06 8:05

Oh.

SPEAKER_03 8:07

Richard. Monogamy is for mahogamy with my wife.

SPEAKER_06 8:11

With my wife.

SPEAKER_03 8:12

I'm gonna leave that out there.

SPEAKER_05 8:14

I didn't. I did not go to work today. As Kevin has asked.

SPEAKER_03 8:20

We know. After you were sick, right? You were sick and you just couldn't use it. Sick of working. That tummy. You had a real bad Tommy ache, my poor little man.

SPEAKER_05 8:31

Yeah. It was real bad. Um yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:36

So you sat at home all day and read chicken soup for the soul.

SPEAKER_05 8:40

Good soup. Good soup. Good soup. Um no, got the uh the new bling blings in the you know, the fucking Steel Series Nova Pros. They're beautiful. I'm testing them out for Kevin so he can make his decisions.

SPEAKER_03 8:57

I am interested in those, I'm not gonna lie.

SPEAKER_05 9:01

Great headset.

SPEAKER_03 9:02

I really am.

SPEAKER_05 9:03

And then for you listeners out there, John gets a new headset. Yay! It's the one he's wearing. No. It's the ones I previously wore.

SPEAKER_03 9:15

And before anybody says anything, he's not getting a piece of shit headset. He's getting a top of the line headset.

SPEAKER_05 9:22

No hammy down.

SPEAKER_03 9:23

You know, I I I really want those Steel Series. I really do, but I can't, I don't know if I can think about spending the money on them. Uh, because I really do love my LGs. I love these things. And because I am working towards getting my pilot certificate, they look like a like an like a pilot.

SPEAKER_00 9:42

You just need the the antenna thing or the the mic piece.

SPEAKER_03 9:45

The microphone, yeah, it's right here somewhere. Just zips in, zips out. I I and I love it. So but I I know, I get it. I get it. But the microphone ain't shit because we don't use them anyways.

SPEAKER_05 9:56

Yeah. Well, no, I just like that it's fully retractable and flush.

SPEAKER_03 10:02

And that makes a world of sense to do that, and I don't know why none of their others do. Yeah. Is it like a uh like a push button, like you push it in and it comes out type of thing?

SPEAKER_05 10:14

No. Um I just slide it out.

SPEAKER_03 10:18

Oh how do you get your finger on it if it's totally flush?

SPEAKER_05 10:23

There's a little indent right here.

SPEAKER_03 10:26

Uh oh, I see. Wow, they think of everything. Let's give a round of applause for the Steel Series engineers, can we? Yeah, we can we get that? Thank you.

SPEAKER_05 10:37

Sponsor us. Kind of already are in a way. Kind of are, yeah, already. Well, thank you. Active noise cancellation. Um, definitely the ear cups, even though they're comfortable, once they come out with uh like cooling gel, I'll probably get those just because I can feel the leather ear sweat. Yeah, with the leather, I can feel it, especially with playing earlier. There were little times where I was like, you know, what the fuck?

SPEAKER_03 11:09

And I lifted you know one of the ears off and I was like, oh yeah, that's gonna be a it's so weird because I know Zach gets that way heavily, and he has been that way like for fucking almost 16 years that we've known each other. But like, so they came with the leather or pleather, the LG did, and a set of the mesh. And I like the cooling capabilities of the leather, and I just don't get that way. I never have like my ears don't sweat that way, so I can't relate to you guys at all with that, but I know it happens because I've watched and listened to Zach bitch about it for a long time.

SPEAKER_05 11:45

John looking at your fucking asset, just looking at the fucking deterioration away from your ear cup. You won't have an issue with the Steel Series ones, so no, and there's you're about to step into a different world. A lot of different um interchangeable ear cups on Amazon if you're interested. But yeah, I got those. Um, your package has not come in, Kevin. Check the mail today, so I'll check it tomorrow.

SPEAKER_03 12:11

I blame Trump, by the way, for for that and the USPS issues that we've been having.

SPEAKER_00 12:18

Yeah, because he's not president and the world's fucked up now, right?

SPEAKER_03 12:21

Right, though, it's not what we're supposed to do. We're supposed to blame people from the past and not everybody in the feet. Okay. Thank you. Thanks, Obama.

SPEAKER_05 12:29

Way to go, Bush. Yeah, thanks, Bush. Uh, but other than that, yeah, just played games. Sat around the house, waited for everybody to get on, and now we're here.

SPEAKER_03 12:40

That sounds like a great day. I'm gonna be honest with you. Pretty lazy. So I had that lazy day too, and honestly, I kind of fucking needed it, not gonna lie. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 12:52

We're actually on time today, which is nice for a change.

SPEAKER_03 12:56

For the most part, yeah, we are on time. John was late. Go figure.

SPEAKER_00 13:02

Been here for seven hours, but it's fine. I was gone three minutes.

SPEAKER_03 13:05

How can you be here for seven hours and then be okay with being three minutes late, John? How can you do that?

SPEAKER_00 13:11

I just wasn't paying attention, honestly.

SPEAKER_03 13:14

Shame, yeah, shame. Not not like my ass wasn't 15 minutes late yesterday or anything.

SPEAKER_05 13:19

I was looking at the uh recording and I was like looking down there for a second. I'm like, what the fuck's going on? Because my mouse was hovered over it. I was like, did I not click the fucking button? I know I did, and then I moved my mouse for a second and it tells me how long we've been recording. I was like, Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:34

Somebody punch this man. I fuck you.

SPEAKER_05 13:37

Alright. John.

SPEAKER_06 13:42

John. John. John. This guy. John. John.

SPEAKER_05 13:49

That's what love is gonna look like when he's old. John, you wanted us to thank the email? Yes. For the emails? So let me go and bring up the email. Because that's the topic that we're doing today was an emailed in topic from what? We are?

SPEAKER_06 14:11

Wow.

SPEAKER_05 14:12

Mm-hmm. Wait, we get emails? How do they email us, Richard? They go to Kevin's OnlyFans, onlyfans.com forward slash tubby toast. Tubby Toast. Uh no, that is the that's the Magdump Podcast at gmail.com. You can uh email us all your suggestions, and we do read them. We do go through them. And if we don't get to them for a while, you know, we apologize for that. But uh yeah, I mean we do read them and we do go through them. It's just uh we do have other topics and ideas that we have placed forward, and I think Kevin spoke about this on the last live stream that we had where he went through the emails and um was thanking you all, but yeah, here we are doing one of yours. This is from Carlos Tenner, and it is he says, Hello, how's it going? Hope all is well. I would like you guys, yeah. Hi, Carlos.

SPEAKER_00 15:11

I would like you guys by the way. Yeah, hey, you fucking it's no big deal.

SPEAKER_04 15:16

What's a name?

SPEAKER_05 15:17

Yeah, what's a you know, fucking very common names out there? John Rowe. Fucking John. Well, yeah, I mean yeah, I know another John Rowe in this world. Yeah, but how many? Okay, how many? As of right now, two.

SPEAKER_03 15:32

How many Johns? I don't know. Take a look at the fucking Declaration of Independence, guy.

SPEAKER_05 15:37

How about fucking many? But Carlos writes in asking if we can do where did you start? Where are you at now? And John brought this up last night when we're uh thinking of topics. I think it's because he was already informed about the email. But yeah, John and Carlos, thank you.

SPEAKER_00 15:55

Thank you. Me, John, or yeah, you John. Oh, oh.

SPEAKER_04 16:00

Yeah, not John Hancock.

SPEAKER_03 16:02

Yeah, John Adams. Jonathan Taylor Thomas. I can keep going.

SPEAKER_00 16:09

Hey, you know what? Hey, hold on, hold on. I need to get real personal here. Oh, here we go. If you spell your name J-O-N, you are not a John. You are a Jun. Okay. I hate it. Change your fucking name. Thank you.

SPEAKER_05 16:28

But okay, so right. Hold on, hold on. No. Honest question, right? Jonathan, right? Yes. Okay, John John would be short for Jonathan, correct?

SPEAKER_00 16:39

Yeah. How do you think I spell my full name? My full name is Jonathan, but I go by John.

SPEAKER_05 16:44

But people still spell it J-O-N, and then they're wrong.

SPEAKER_00 16:50

How do you spell the a thin part? How would you spell it if you s if you had to write someone's name?

SPEAKER_05 16:56

If I had to write someone's name?

SPEAKER_00 16:58

Yeah, would you do A-T-H-A-N? O-N.

SPEAKER_05 17:03

Yeah, J O N A T H A N. That's how I would spell Jonathan.

SPEAKER_00 17:10

And you, sir, are wrong.

SPEAKER_05 17:13

How the fuck am I wrong?

SPEAKER_01 17:15

I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 17:16

John, can you be wrong?

SPEAKER_03 17:18

No, because that's my name and I hold it proudly. But did you ask for that name or are you given that name?

SPEAKER_00 17:25

Uh well, I was definitely given because I can't really, you know, say anything as a fetus. Well, maybe you should speak up. You're right, you're right. I'm just kidding. If you just spell that name, you're cool, I guess.

SPEAKER_03 17:44

You know how many Johns are in the world, John, and we just lost half our audience? Congratulations.

SPEAKER_00 17:48

How hard is it to just have an H in your name?

SPEAKER_03 17:52

How hard is it to take an assigned with one less letter?

SPEAKER_00 17:55

Why do you think I don't go by Jonathan? I hate that name. I always have. Always. Yeah. So I went by John. But the way my parents, my way my parents made my name was so that way if I wanted to go to John, it was J-O-H-N.

SPEAKER_03 18:09

How do you know this?

SPEAKER_00 18:10

They told me. I'm named after John L.A. John Lennon and something else. I don't remember.

SPEAKER_05 18:17

So your parents are Denver fans.

SPEAKER_00 18:19

My dad is.

SPEAKER_05 18:24

Interesting. Okay. Um, and John is walking off of the podcast. We've lost. We've lost John. Jonathan. We've lost a blanket. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 18:35

What's your blanket? No. He gave me a Denver Bronco throwover blanket when I was four, and I still use it to the day.

SPEAKER_03 18:43

Did you say you were named after John Lennon as well? Yes. Is that because your parents have always wanted to put a bullet in your head?

unknown 18:50

Whee.

SPEAKER_01 18:52

Ouch.

SPEAKER_06 18:54

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 18:55

I'm sorry, guys. That was terrible. Terrible joke. That was bad. It was kind of funny, but I mean it was like bad. It was bad funny. You know?

SPEAKER_00 19:03

It was like bad because we're live, but good because it was.

SPEAKER_03 19:06

I'm not a huge fan of the Beatles, so that's probably why.

SPEAKER_04 19:11

You okay, Rich?

SPEAKER_06 19:14

Not okay. I'm in danger.

SPEAKER_05 19:18

Um yeah, okay. Well now that we're past uh bullets and brains and Chris Corbin and one another. Um that other bad one. Sorry. Um, Kurt Corbin. No, shut the fuck up. My mind is boggled because he told John also his parents wanted to kill him.

SPEAKER_03 19:41

I didn't know I was asking. I was I was trying to figure it out, honestly. Kurt Cobain. Maybe.

SPEAKER_00 19:47

Kurz Coben.

SPEAKER_03 19:50

I'm gonna say it. With people with Chris, can they spell it with a K? Don't say it. I'm gonna say it.

SPEAKER_00 19:55

No, that's weird. Unless you're a female.

SPEAKER_03 19:58

That band is not as good as everybody thinks they were. And grunge music sucks. I said it. Damn. I said it. There goes the other half.

SPEAKER_06 20:07

There goes Seattle. We just lost Seattle, guys. Congratulations.

SPEAKER_05 20:12

We now no longer have an audience. Hello, another world of people who listen to the podcast.

SPEAKER_00 20:18

Um, feel like we're alienating people. We went from FM to AM.

SPEAKER_03 20:28

Rough. Anyways, topic.

unknown 20:30

Thanks.

SPEAKER_03 20:31

Thanks, John. I believe John for this.

SPEAKER_05 20:33

Thanks, Carlos.

SPEAKER_03 20:36

Shout out to you, Carlos. Yes.

SPEAKER_05 20:37

Where we started and where we're at now.

SPEAKER_00 20:44

How deep are we going into it? Like I'm a kid now, or to tell my story, I have to go deep, unfortunately.

SPEAKER_03 20:53

I don't have a choice.

SPEAKER_04 20:55

Kevin's got a segment on this one.

SPEAKER_03 20:57

Oh man. I have to go. I'll try and get it cut down as much as possible.

SPEAKER_05 21:00

Bada bean, bada boom, Kevin. What's the question again? Where did you stem from and where are you at now?

SPEAKER_03 21:17

Oh, okay. Um I stemmed from the balls of my dad and my and the egg of my mother.

SPEAKER_06 21:26

It was back in the winter of 84.

SPEAKER_03 21:29

You said I had to go deep. Yeah. One man.

SPEAKER_06 21:34

One man, one sperm, one egg. Coming to you live.

SPEAKER_03 21:41

Um I grew up a fuck it, I guess. Alright. So I uh I I grew up in a hostile household um with a abusive parent. Mom out of the uh out of the equation. Um so that kind of set me up for failure very early in my life. Um so when I left the house at 17, I wasn't uh I wouldn't say a awesome member of society for probably a few years until I was able to figure it out. Um I was hanging with the wrong people, doing the wrong shit, um partying way too much. Um I wasn't quite ready for the world. Um so I was very sheltered as a child. So when I got out on my own, I went pretty batshit crazy for a while. Uh that's that's putting it about as lightly as I possibly can put it. Uh married young uh because I thought that's what you're supposed to do, and probably because I had some mommy issues, I probably needed that female affirmation in my life somewhere. Um, I don't know, I'll talk to my therapist about it. Um so I ended up getting in trouble with the law. If you're keeping up with the podcast, you already know that, so I'm not gonna retell that story. Um so I I kept getting in trouble and getting in trouble. I like to fight a lot. Um you murdered issues. No, no, I did not murder anybody and hid the body. Well allegedly. Allegedly. Hearsay.

SPEAKER_05 23:29

Hearsay. Sustained.

SPEAKER_03 23:30

I'd like to sh I'd like to strike that from the uh from the sustained.

SPEAKER_05 23:34

Sustained.

SPEAKER_03 23:35

Thank you. Appreciate that. Um, so there was a point in my life that I remember I had my wrists handcuffed, and then my wrists were handcuffed to my ankles, and I was sitting in the back of a uh transport van getting ready to go to the uh Ottawa County jail. Shout out Ottawa County, Michigan. And I remember sitting in the back of that van, and I know this is super fucking corny, right? I was sitting in the back of the van, and if you know the uh the song Long Black Train by Josh Turner, it's a country song, and they had the music playing, and that song came on. And I started bawling by myself in the back of this van, and I'm not a religious man, so the song's fairly religious, but just like the things that were being said, and I'm just sitting back there and I'm so alone, and I'm thinking and really going about like my life and like the things that I've done and like what happened to me, and like what what what can I do with my life, and honestly, from that day forward changed my life completely. Um started becoming a good member of society, um, finished my education. Um, you know, I divorced my ex-wife, and four or three or four years later, I met my now wife of six years, been together for eight years. Um I went on to I I have a I have this insatiable urge to constantly better myself, I think because of my life situations. So I've had a lot of jobs in my life, not because I'm unemployable, or because um how do I say this? Or because like I'm not a good employee in general. I've had a lot of jobs because I think it's like the spice of life. Like, you know, I uh I've had I'm on my third actual career at the age of 34, and some would say, like, what the fuck? But then others would say that's like super impressive. So I was a chef, I was a firefighter, and now I'm a mental health counselor. 45 years.

SPEAKER_05 26:04

I've been also put in asterisk on your uh marriages.

SPEAKER_03 26:09

Oh yeah, well, Zach and I, we were gonna get hitched. That's a long story. That's for a different episode. Don't worry about it. No, I'll get into it. That's for a different episode. That's for a different episode. That's my background story. That actually might show up in your background story, so that's fair. That's fair. Um shit, I lost myself. So I I just, you know, you know, these people who you know you could be a broker all your life, and that's what you know, and you could be miserable, you could be happy, but I've always just wanted to try new things, and I've never been necessarily a fate of failing. Um, I I think some of the most successful people in the world have failed more times than any of us can, and I think that is actually a note to success, is failing. Um so I mean, my life right now, I'm 34 in October, and I am immensely happy. Uh, you know, I I wouldn't change it. I wouldn't change it for anything. Um I met the love of my life. We just have we just have so much fun together. Um I got these guys in my life, you know, I have very close friends, and I consider these guys very close friends because I've gotten rid of everybody else. Um you know, and my wife always she gets into it every once in a while because if you know my wife's a therapist, and she had me take a test one day, and it's called the ACE test, and what it stands for is adverse um uh adverse uh childhood experiences test, and it's 10 questions to talk essentially about your childhood experiences, obviously, for trauma and PTSD, um, because a a score on that can really show who you've turned out as a person or pretty much your your life choices and where you should have ended up. Um and I scored an eight out of ten on an ace test, which is not good because a th a score of three is really bad. And I scored an eight. And she looked at it and she couldn't believe it. She's like, you should be in prison. She's like, you should be dead, or you should have committed suicide by now. Statisti statistically speaking, um what she says is I have a lot of uh resiliency factors about me. Um which is a good thing, I suppose. It's also a tough thing because you never give up, and sometimes I just want to give up. You know, not lately, but there have been times in the past I just want to give up. Um but no man, my life is I couldn't see it in any other way at this point in time. Um I love life now. I didn't always love life, but I love life now. Life is good. People are still terrible, and y you will know this from our past podcasts how I feel about people in general. I love people, but I also hate all of you very much. I love people, but I hate society. Yeah, I I also hate I hate all of you sons of bitches so much because you guys could be like me, but for some reason you guys have to be so miserable all the time. Not everybody, but a lot of you. And it's not worth it. It's not worth living that fucking drama, it's not worth i you sp fucking people spend so much time worrying about other people that everything in their life starts falling apart, and it's it's actually it's insane. It's really fucking insane to see. But no man, my life's good. I'm I'm I feel like I'm at the precipice. Like I don't know how it could get any better to me, but I feel like it is, you know, that's that's where I'm at. I feel like it still can get better, but I don't know how it can. And I'm excited to see where things go even further down the line from here.

SPEAKER_00 30:20

You know what you're missing? What's that? A child.

SPEAKER_03 30:24

Oh god, yeah. You know, I'm not missing a child because I love being able to just pick up and go whenever I want to. You love Erica, right? I love Erica, yeah. There you go. What does that have to do with things?

SPEAKER_00 30:37

Well, she's the one that wants the kid, right?

SPEAKER_03 30:40

She now she's back, she's back and forth about it. Baby fever's over. Yeah, she she does that, she gets back and forth about it. Because then she gets a hold of a baby, or like sees a baby, and then she's like, you know, like at the hockey games or whatever, and she's like, Oh my god, he's so cute. Oh my god, she's so cute. And I love kids too. And then she's like all about it, and then like then she's like a month later, she's like, meh, you know, so I don't know. How old are you again? 33.

SPEAKER_00 31:13

Oh, you're still yeah, you got I I got young.

SPEAKER_03 31:15

My wife just turned 31, so she's pretty old though. So she keeps telling me that her baby box is betraying her. So we'll see how that goes. We'll see. We'll see how that works. So yeah. Hashtag love yourica. So that's me, man. That's me in a nutshell. I had a very rough, rough, rough, rough, rough, rough beginning. And I turned it around. And I give myself 100% credit for turning it around. I give myself a lot of credit, and I give my my wife a lot of credit for keeping me there. I think that's what's really important, is I had some I've had somebody to keep me level. I but I will give myself props all day for being able to do what I've done and uh against the adversities that I faced and continue to grow and continue to be better. So that's me. And that's where I'm at.

SPEAKER_04 32:20

Be better.

SPEAKER_03 32:22

I have I have been better.

SPEAKER_05 32:26

Zach, give us more insight on this uh fucking story that we're supposed to hear within Skype. I can't believe I'm gonna be in Zach's story.

SPEAKER_03 32:34

His better story for where he is then and now. I'm in this story. That's hilarious. Jurassic Park came out in '93.

SPEAKER_04 32:46

Yes, it did.

SPEAKER_03 32:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 32:47

As Kevin would say, I was born into a very platonic white family.

SPEAKER_03 32:52

I fucking hate it. I hate it so much, and I'm so jealous that you had the perfect fucking upbringing in that sense.

SPEAKER_04 33:03

You know, I mean, my family has its own little inner issues, but it's nothing like necessarily what I would say severe, you know. Um I grew up knowing that I was loved. Um uh at the age of 19, I heard my dad say that he was proud of me for the first time. Um did you cry? So I did.

SPEAKER_03 33:27

I cry when I hear people have that story. Like it tears me up because I've never had that moment. That sucks. But I'm happy for you.

SPEAKER_04 33:38

Um, but yeah, so like uh I was born in Illinois, um, and my dad was an agricultural worker at the time. Uh he was doing ag research for Pioneer. Um, and my mom was uh doing substitute shifts at the middle school. Um so my folks were never really like a big um two-income family when I was first born. Um it was typically my dad was the breadwinner, my mom was just kind of you know taking care of the family itself. Um with my two older sisters who are both, you know, seven and eight years older than me, I was definitely the late arrival. Um my folks kind of had things figured out by the time I had gotten there, and I had a pretty stable life. Um that being said, throughout uh elementary school, I was kind of a fucking shithead. Um I I can't remember a week or a month throughout elementary school where I did not spend at least one day in the principal's office.

SPEAKER_03 34:55

Um I can I can attest to you being a shithead, by the way.

SPEAKER_04 34:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 34:59

At a young age, yes.

SPEAKER_04 35:01

I got suspended a couple of times in elementary school, both in school and out of school suspensions. Um but uh when I went into middle school, I kind of changed my friend group, turned myself around, and started uh necessarily kind of like finding a purpose for what I wanted to do. Um with that, by the time I had gotten to high school, I had decided on the fact that I wanted to join the military. Um so that was basically my path that I set out on. Um that being said, my grades kind of suffered because I knew all I needed to do was pass.

SPEAKER_03 35:44

It's just so you're good enough to get in the military. Right.

SPEAKER_04 35:48

I so I didn't necessarily try hard. Um that being said, I was involved in sports. I was in sports shooting, I was in baseball, I was in football. Um so I was in a lot of activities and kind of developed a pretty good friends group as well. Um left for the military at the age of 19. Um, I had to wait a year after graduating due to um the job requirements for MP. Um they wanted me to be a little bit older and they wanted to um wait until my actual school time to ship me out. Um so that year in between high school and uh the military, I had a ton of money to blow. Um and I spent it in some a little bit unscrupulous ways. Uh at that time I had discovered what a strip club was. Uh for those of you who are in the US and know or uh are well traveled and have been to these places, it's rather interesting place to have a lot of money to throw around. Um but uh yeah, uh went to the military, threw that kind of chapter of my life out of the way. Um and got into the policing side of the military police operations. I really enjoyed going out on patrols and um kind of helping people in crisis situations. However, once I got to my first duty station, I was placed in a field deployment unit uh where we were gearing up to go overseas, which was not necessarily what I wanted to join for. And because of that, they stuck me in an armory with a very shit leader who verbally abused me, um, told me I was trash, that I was worthless, that I was dumb. Um, basically did everything he could to make my life shit at the time. Uh, and I don't exactly know fully why. Um, but uh that put me in a pretty dark place. Um if you are single in the military, you are stuck in a barracks, and you very much uh have less freedoms than those married individuals. Um so myself, who's in this dark place, and Kevin, who had just recently gone through a divorce and was also in a pretty dark place, had started considering something called a contract marriage. Um where we were basically gonna get married for the benefits, you know, and live our best lives. Kevin was gonna get away from where he was, and you know, I was gonna get out of my shit situation. So it was mutually beneficial. Um interestingly enough, we didn't decide to go through with it. However, we did have some serious late night conversations.

SPEAKER_03 39:03

It was a real possibility. Yeah. Like it wasn't it was so far on the table, it was in the middle of the table. That's how it was it was right in the middle.

SPEAKER_04 39:13

It was We were at the point where at times we were discussing the logistics of it rather than whether we should or shouldn't.

SPEAKER_03 39:21

Yeah, it but uh But we didn't for all you government officials out there listening. Yeah, it didn't happen.

SPEAKER_04 39:31

But um so through the middle of this, um, I actually uh lost my grandfather, um, who I was very close with. Um went on to uh emergency leave, and the Red Cross really did me solid on this, as well as my actual parent unit. Um so from the time that I had heard that he had passed to the time that I had gotten off the plane in my hometown was less than 24 hours. Um they very much expedited um my emergency leave and getting me home with my family, um, which marks a big turning point in my life because I had come back from this leave cycle and talked to my um leadership and everything, and they're like, yeah, well we'll look at sending you over to the Provost Marshal's office so you can actually start doing what you want to do. Um two weeks later I had orders, and my life basically completely turned around at that point. Um I had started going out on patrols, I had started developing myself as a professional um in the policing community. Uh uh yeah, started to develop myself. Let's let's emphasize that. Um and uh during this time was also uh pretty rough relations between communities and police. Um looking back at circa 2015, 2016, um, when officers were getting ambushed in their cars, you know, shot while they were having lunch or whatever. Um so it was a very scary time to be working as a police officer. Um there were times when I was sitting in my car with my my gun on my lap um because I didn't feel necessarily safe as some of the people were walking past my car or approaching my driver's side door. Um you know, so it was it was interesting. Um but uh went through all that, um went ahead and got out of the military in 2018, came back to uh my hometown in Iowa and started working as a private investigator. Shout out Ancony was which was absolutely wild and disgusting, and I absolutely hated it. Um it did pay extremely well. Um so I was making uh roughly 25 an hour um with mileage, um, and I was getting paid while I traveled, while I worked the case, uh, etc. Um, so I could bill all of it, plus all my expenses were paid um throughout the day.

SPEAKER_00 42:39

So that's not bad.

SPEAKER_04 42:41

It it was decent, aside from the fact that it was scummy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 42:47

Did you ever see any of the other private investigators?

SPEAKER_04 42:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 42:51

And do they did they look exactly what we would expect them to look like?

SPEAKER_04 42:55

Yes and no. Um there's a very diverse crowd among private investigators. You had, you know, people like me and um you had people that were more like your typical bald-headed, like gross, sweaty, greasy people that are sitting in a van, you know, like were there any ex-cops? Uh yeah. We had actually several ex-cops. Um some of them were the greasy individuals, some of them were more like uh suit and tie kind of guys. Um it just it varies, you know. In that line of work, he had a lot of people that come from different walks of life, either that wanted to be there for you know, just an easy paycheck, or they wanted to be there to actually catch some of the shitty things that were going on. Um But uh I found that a lot of the casework I was doing with this wasn't really beneficial, in my opinion. So I went ahead and got out of that after a run-in with the I forget what the actual government office is in Nebraska where they handle your applications for a private investigator, but they fucked me on multiple occasions in losing all of my application packet with all of my personal information on it. Um an FBI background report, etc., that was just misplaced on two separate occasions. And when my manager told me to put in a third application, I told him no, and then I quit. Like if he was gonna fight me on it again, the two put in my application, there's no way I was gonna keep working for him. Um luckily that did not result in any identity theft. Um you know, likely the application was destroyed rightfully, but uh I guess we'll see. Only time will tell.

SPEAKER_03 45:13

Someone's waiting on that credit score to go up to 850. That's what they're doing.

SPEAKER_04 45:17

Yeah, they wouldn't need it to rebound from me buying my car.

SPEAKER_03 45:24

Sitting on it.

SPEAKER_04 45:25

Um from there I started into uh corporate security work um and quickly advanced up the rung there because of my experience. Um within a year I had gotten three promotions and started managing a site of over 10,000 people. Um then COVID hit, our staffing really started to hurt, and the company started to show its true colors. Um I was working 60 hours a week, uh getting called in the middle of the night and not getting more than two, three hours of uninterrupted sleep a night, and had to quit for you know my personal health. Uh was unemployed for a while and then finally found a decent job at uh hardware store here called Menards. Shout out to Paul Menard for paying my paycheck every week.

SPEAKER_03 46:28

Is it signed by Paul Bernard? No, no, that'd be electronics, isn't it? Is Paul Menard alive or is he dead?

SPEAKER_04 46:35

Uh he's alive. He's actually still technically in charge of the company as well. Oh shit.

SPEAKER_03 46:40

Yeah, and he's like CFO or CEO or something like that still? I think he's still CEO. CEO? Good for you, Paul. I think to make a good environment that is a what Fortune 300 company, I think Menard's is. Public engine. Yeah. That people still want to work for and treat employees, I'd assume, fairly well.

SPEAKER_04 47:02

Uh not bad. I mean, it's very it's very streamlined. And it's corporate. Yeah, I mean, everybody's kind of treated as like a standard number, but with that comes a lot of fairness. So you know, it's it's shitty at times, but it's fair, so you can't complain too much.

SPEAKER_03 47:23

Equity over equality. Somewhat.

SPEAKER_04 47:29

Not necessarily. It's more of equality across the board. You know, regardless of your situation, you're kind of treated the same. Fair enough. But yeah, so uh doing that and looking at jobs, uh just reach out to Richard here recently about getting into uh some personal security detail work. Um I've also started looking again at policing jobs or firefighting jobs, just depending on what's gonna come available first, I guess, in the area.

SPEAKER_03 48:05

My little man becomes a firefighter. I'm gonna be so proud of you, buddy. I'm gonna be so proud of you. Academy. I will, dude. I will, dude. I'll bring out I'll bring my challenge coin, I'll make you your own. Be so proud of you. Yeah. But yeah. It's tough work, but it's worth it in the end.

SPEAKER_04 48:23

So still deciding on a career, I guess. But uh I know I want to get into that general area of work again.

SPEAKER_03 48:32

Any uh lucky lady in your life?

SPEAKER_04 48:35

Uh, I do have a girlfriend right now. Um, shout out to my girlfriend. Just right now?

SPEAKER_03 48:42

Ooh, dude, I try to set you up with a softball question. You really fucked up about one.

SPEAKER_00 48:47

It's Tuesday, so we'll see how the rest of the week goes.

SPEAKER_04 48:51

We'll see if she still loves me in the morning. It's Thursday, John.

SPEAKER_06 48:56

I knew exactly where Kevin was going. It's a question. I was just like, ooh. Spicy. I try to help. I try to help.

SPEAKER_04 49:13

It's that Sully meme where you're but uh yeah, we've been together um 24 years. Coming up on two years here pretty soon.

SPEAKER_03 49:29

Um almost.

SPEAKER_04 49:33

It's been a year and nine months now.

SPEAKER_03 49:37

Look at that. Good for you, man. So that's the longest relationship I remember you being in, and I've known you over a long time.

SPEAKER_04 49:44

I did have a two-year and two-day one that I cut off um while I was in the military.

SPEAKER_03 49:51

Uh oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 49:53

But it the last year was not necessarily serious. It was just kind of like I was there. And uh I don't feel that that way about Bailey, you know. Uh I see some potential in her and you know, we'll see where it goes.

SPEAKER_01 50:12

I hope everything goes great. I wish you the best, man. Woo. I'm sure she sees potential in you too, Zach.

SPEAKER_04 50:28

I hope so, because I'm a piece of shit.

SPEAKER_01 50:31

It's pretty evident.

SPEAKER_06 50:36

John, we're yeah, shout out hashtag Bailey. John, um, let's stem away from Zach getting fucking bombarded over here. Let's uh let's let's let's hear from you. Let's hear from you.

SPEAKER_00 50:49

You guys want to hear about me, huh? How did John's part of the podcast? Well then, uh so shit. So I was born and raised in California. Fuck California. Now it didn't, it wasn't as bad before. I am 27. I have only lived in California my entire life. I've never left the state.

SPEAKER_03 51:17

Oh, whoa, what? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 51:19

Oh, I mean, if you want to count Vegas, but like that's not that's like on the border, you know, of Nevada and California. That doesn't I don't I don't count that. But no, I have never left county lines. Or uh I said they're state lines, state lines, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 51:37

Wow, I did not know that about you, Joe.

SPEAKER_00 51:39

Yeah, I I have not seen anything.

SPEAKER_03 51:42

Makes a lot of sense.

SPEAKER_00 51:43

The farthest I have been away is uh when I was little was Vegas. I don't remember it. Yeah, yeah, and uh San Francisco. So I've seen the world, man. Let me tell you. I went last week, I went out to get crawfish in Louisiana. That shit was so cool. Uh I did a hoodang and what that yeah, hoodang who that.

SPEAKER_03 52:11

We were just talking about going to New Orleans again here soon. Love to have you tag along so you can actually see a different state for once.

SPEAKER_00 52:19

That's all I know, dude. All I know is summer. Help. I've never seen snow. Why'd you expect it to go? I'm jolly.

SPEAKER_03 52:36

Does it get any better, John? I hope it does. No, it just goes too. I hope your story gets better. I really do.

SPEAKER_00 52:42

It's like a roller coaster. Here we go. Okay, here we go. 27. Whole life been in California. Alright, I I enjoy California. I just hate the people and I hate what California is becoming. California has, I guess, always been a tourist spot, but now it's becoming a shithole because everyone's coming for whatever fucking reason. There's nothing here. Go to Disneyland once, go home. Right? Anyway, uh, so when I was little, uh, we had a pretty good life. My dad worked in theater as a maintenance guy. He would he was the one that did all the speakers and the sound audio, made sure the you know the whole thing was running. Um, and my mom sold tools uh for a place called SoCal, I believe. It was it was some but they sold like like machine parts and bits and big warehouse type of shit. Uh so she was making good money. My dad was making good money. Um I had a great life when I was little. I mean, we were playing baseball in the house, like with a little little rubber bat with rubber or little balls, and you know, you hit the wall, you scored a home run. That's that's my fondest memory with my dad is doing that. Um then I went to junior high. Now, this is where it goes spiraling. Okay, it's a roller coaster. Just stick with me.

SPEAKER_03 54:07

I'm here for you.

SPEAKER_00 54:08

Seventh grade.

SPEAKER_03 54:09

I'm right here.

SPEAKER_00 54:10

I was a little shit, and I'll I'll admit that to the world. I I didn't give a fuck about you or anything that you do. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 54:20

Um, I didn't care.

SPEAKER_00 54:26

I didn't give a fuck about school. I hated homework, hated my teachers, thought it was stupid. I'd sit there and doodle in the textbooks. Um just didn't give a shit. I didn't know why I was there. I was told to go, so I went, or else I'd get in trouble at home. Uh it was either Fuck man. It was either seventh grade or eighth grade is when no fuck, it was I might have skipped a very important thing. Uh I want to say sixth grade to eighth grade, somewhere in between there. Um, we ended up losing my house. Not my house, but where I grew up at. Um and that fucked me up. That was that was the first thing that messed me up in my life because all I knew was my house. All I knew, you know, childhood memories, you know, this place is gonna be my forever till I move out. No. I we lost it. My parents went bankrupt. Uh found out my mom was I love you, mom and dad, by the way. I'm not trying to be a dick and just sharing my experience in life. Um found out she was doing drugs, not like hard drugs, but she was taking pills. Um and she wasn't really there. And she ended up leaving my dad and my two brothers and me for about three months and got her own apartment. Like just completely dipped. Uh that whole time I only saw her once. And then she ended up getting in trouble with the law uh with the work stuff. I'm not gonna get into details with that. Uh she ended up going on house arrest for a year or something like that. And during that time we had to move in with my grandma, which I'm at now. It's been about 16 years, give or take, since I've been living here. Um my parents are not together. Um but they still they're still here because my brother has autism, so it's kind of like the mom and dad thing. Don't leave the kid, right? Like I I really, really respect that from both of them because they they they love each other. They say it all the time, but they're not together. It's just kind of like one of those things. Um, so yeah, that that was a big traumatic thing to find out that number one, we're losing the house. Number two, you're going on house arrest. Number three, you're not together anymore. Like that. It was all like in steps to get me here. Then we hit high school. High school, I was the same way. I did freshman and sophomore year straight F's. Straight Fs. No, no D insight. I failed PE. Let's just put it that way. That's how much I didn't care. And all you had to do for that was show up. Um and then I hit junior year. And mind you, I wasn't the popular kid growing up. Uh what I thought was popular was saying hi to everybody in the halls. I didn't hang out with nobody. The seventh grade and eighth grade I ate by myself. I said hi to people, but I would sit there against the door in the hallway and I would eat my little my little tray of of stupid government food or whatever they give the kids nowadays. Bagged milk. Shout out to the bag milk.

SPEAKER_03 57:53

I really learned about that last night. That's crazy to me.

SPEAKER_00 57:58

Yes. Anyway, so uh yeah, come high school. Uh still didn't care. Junior year, I went half a semester, which is I believe four months or maybe three months into the school year. I got called up to the principal's office, and I found out that I was getting kicked out of high school. I was getting kicked out and sent to another high school full of like gangsters and you know, I don't I don't say gangsters lightly, like just people who didn't give a shit, all the shitheads. Um didn't go to school doing drugs, fucking degenerates. Yeah, yeah, the quote unquote degenerates. Yeah. Um, and I didn't fit in. I wasn't one of them. I just didn't care about school. I wasn't a bad kid. I just didn't give a shit. And so I got sent there and I knew nobody. No one. And I was scared. I mean, I wasn't always this big. I got big after uh it was probably like end of junior year to senior, well, I really sprouted and I became just this big guy. But I was I was scrawny skinny, and that that was the first time in my life where I was legitimately scared to not or to be around people like that. I don't know what their intentions are. Like I'm just this little white kid full of like I mean you you go to you go to the school and there's guys walking into the campus with a cigarette in their mouth. Like, what the fuck? Yeah, it's like one of those schools.

SPEAKER_03 59:28

Like these are adults. I don't know where am I right now.

SPEAKER_00 59:33

And uh yeah, so I ended up finishing junior year there, and then senior year came around, and I I was still at that same school, and I fucking aced everything because I wanted out, I wanted I wanted to be done. I I went to school, I was high as fuck every day, I'm not gonna lie, but I I I wanted out because it I just didn't fit. I didn't know where I was gonna go after. I didn't graduate by 15 credits. That's it. 15. I and I don't know if you guys know, I mean, and I'm sure Richard does. I don't know how it is where you guys are at, but credits are the courses you pass, you get five credits for each course. So, like a math, English, and history would get you those 15. I didn't graduate by those 15. So I gave up. I gave up entirely. I was so mad that I worked that hard to not graduate, and it took me the fuck, when did I do it? Year before last to actually graduate. And I did it on my own. I woke up one day and I said, fuck it, I'm finishing this. And I I finished on my own, and I was super proud. I nailed it out in two weeks. It was done. I did almost a year's worth of work in two weeks. I was staying up like 24 hour nights constantly, just oh man, and never want to go through that again. But I did it because my son, I wanted my son to know that you can do it. You know, you might have your your hard times in life where you think you can't, but you can. And I was proud. So yeah, uh I graduated and then uh so after high school, and then you know, obviously I graduated later on, but after high school I got my first job working at a theme park uh for Nott's Berry Farm. That was my very first job. I was 20 years old. Uh I did custodial work for people who don't know what custodial work, it's cleaning trash cans, sweeping floors, and bathrooms. I hated that job. But I didn't at the same time. People are cool, but also you people suck.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:56

You can't take my line.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:58

You're not wrong though. Um, yeah, so in 20 first job, thought it was killing it. My first paycheck went to an Xbox One. The entire paycheck gone. Good purchase. Right?

SPEAKER_03 1:02:13

Terrible with money, but great purchase.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:16

I had to. It was my first thing. I wanted I wanted it, and I knew I could get it. Um and then I ended up getting in a relationship at that time. Uh and that relationship stuck for two years, and I didn't realize towards the end that it was the biggest mistake of my life because she wasn't the one I loved.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:39

You alright, Richard? Yeah, no, fucking Kevin messaged me saying don't look away from me. I've just been staring at it this entire time.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:49

I know. I keep looking up at you. Sorry, John, you're beautiful. Keep going. Sorry.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:57

Uh I know, I know my story is all over the place. I just have a lot to say, and I'm I'm jumbling it up in my brain, so it's coming out weird.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:05

You're you're right in order. You're doing all that.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:07

Um, yeah, so I met what I thought was the love of my life, and we were together for two years. And I mean, I'm pretty sure I've told this story before, where uh by the end of it, she just said, woke up one day and said, No, I don't want you anymore. And then I I I was already talking to somebody else. I Ben. Uh, the love of my life now, not right now, forever.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:38

Zach. Zach. Zach. That's not what I meant.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:44

But it's okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:48

Um, so yeah, then I met the love of my life, happily married for seven together for seven years. Uh married for six years. Yeah, I got it. I got it. Last year was our fifth, so this year's our sixth. Um and then we had a child. Uh yeah, we had a child, and then fuck man, I'm all over the place. Where did I where was I? Um yeah, biggest mistake was saying I love you to the girl I didn't love. The way that love is now. And then Yeah, I got married to my wife, which you guys know already. And then I went to Disneyland after that Notz job. Fuck you.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:32

Not to play to work, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:04:35

What?

SPEAKER_03 1:04:35

Yeah. You went to Disneyland not to play, but to work.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:38

Oh, to work. Yeah, definitely. Um, because I needed work. I knew they'd hire fucking literally anybody. And so I took it. And you know what, Disneyland, fuck you. We're not getting a sponsor from you, you piece of money hungry fucks. Treat your goddamn employees right.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:58

Stop talking to you, mouse.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:00

Yeah. You hear me? Little mouse bitch.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:02

Yeah, fuck.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:06

Um, no, man, they they they fuck me up. Shut us down. No, they fucked me up, man. They wouldn't give me parent uh uh parental leave or whatever it was when my son was born.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:16

We just had a cease and assist letter come through on the email.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:24

Not even that's not even posted yet, isn't it? They're less um now, but you know, it was a good learning experience. I learned what kind of job I didn't want to work and who I didn't want to work for. Now I know the people that were working there at the time were only there for their paycheck, which is pretty shitty because you are literally making dreams come true, and you're treating everybody like shit that's making your dream come true. So it was a it was a tough thing, but I did that for a year and a half. And then I I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. please do you did you think do you think that walt would be really disappointed oh a hundred fucking percent man like that's that's the worst part is that going into it I was happy to be that person to make somebody's dream come true because that's what that's the mentality you have to have I don't I don't want to sound cheesy but you know you're not going there to work to just be an asshole like you're gonna interact with people all over the world like that's just that's just the job and yeah do you think he's upset by how many Jewish people they allow in Jesus here we go the fifth I'm just saying that Walt was known as as quite the anti-Semite I'm just curious if I I'm I as a man that worked there I just want I just want to know no you know uh during orientation they didn't really bring up the Jew and Nazism thing okay actually uh so they got past that then yeah I think they I think they moved on that's a new regime that's I've I've seen pretty uh pretty much a lot of Yarmicas there and uh yeah so after he passed away you think they kind of moved on to a new Reich then I think I think they said okay to it finally they moved on to to you know good fucking rich up good I'm happy to hear that man I'm happy to hear those things that's good yeah yeah I mean I was wondering why the story's really good I'm listening I apologize my mind goes off track uh and then after that I went to a uh five star restaurant hell yeah um and I learned how to scrub a dish I learned how to feed a dish through a machine and then I actually learned what food is not just your goddamn craft macaroni in a pot I mean I learned a lot of shit and I use that knowledge that I learned there and today which is nice because now I don't have shit food I know how to cook like that's that's great I'm wet yeah so is that was that your favorite job then oh yeah I love love restaurants oh my god I mean I hate the people I mean you can attest to that the fucking people suck but but they're also amazing at the same time you guys are gonna talk shit in the kitchen and go have a cigarette five minutes later like that's that's just how it is I mean that's why I always was the boss so that I could board over them but there's something about that that lifestyle you know you if you choose that lifestyle be prepared you know it's not easy it's you're gonna hate it you're gonna fuck man you but it's good though because you learn you learn very competitive industry you know it took me almost a year from to get from dish pit to actually being able to touch food let's put it that way and that was me bussing my ass um but yeah so then I did that and then come around the past four years to today I ended up going back to Knott's and working in their kitchen and I did that for almost two years. Theme park kitchen dude it was it was rough but I loved it I loved that rush um they treated me like shit though so I didn't I didn't really want to deal with that after a while I mean I gave them I gave them plenty of fucking time a year and a half to get you know but they just I'm replaceable it's a theme park and you're you're a number that's literally it um and then after that I've been out of a job for about almost a year. I think this month or next marks a year of me losing my job and I ended up quitting because I got a back injury and they would have me sit in the middle of the kitchen cutting pies while everybody came up to me and called me pie bitch.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:10

Yeah that's not funny at all.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:13

No it's pretty fucking funny. It's funny now but I hated it like I was very upset at the time because pie bitch yeah literally literally like you know and I I'm used to the banter in the kitchen I I understand that but there's a time to banter and there's a time to not like if you're just coming to my station just to like shit talk me that's kind of fucked up because I got hurt at work and I'm being forced to be here like did you hurt your back from holding up the rest of the kitchen through six minutes the whole fucking night I will not take that the that credit um I would take that credit. I was too tall for my station and sitting there working with chicken and shit for three hours when I went to get up something in my back snapped um they said it was my sciatica uh but it was through works and they're shit doctors they don't give a fuck they gave me a cortisone shot in the ass and my cheek and they were like go back to work. I couldn't move I legitimately could not stand up straight and take a full step without like immense pain like I'd wince and like my whole body would shake and shit. So it was pretty serious and I was scared so I told I told my doctor I was like you need to put some goddamn restrictions on me because I can't I'm not gonna work an eight hour shift in a goddamn kitchen where I can barely move but but that's when the kitchen bitch thing came out where they would fucking put me in the middle of the restaurant or whatever station and I'd sit there and cut pies and that was fucked up you know it's really funny but it's really fucked up it really is fucked up. Yeah because like I didn't do it on purpose. It'd be funny if I was like yeah you can call me kitchen bitch or uh uh pie bitch because I chose to be here fuck you you know but it was like I was forced to sit here don't make things worse I already hate being in the middle and yeah so but I left there and I thought about it maybe a month ago if it was a mistake or not because I could have just toughed it out so my back got better and I could have still had a job I regret it a little because now what I now I know what it's like to not provide because I was providing through the whole everything I always had a job. My wife was out on pregnancy leave for six months or whatever I was busting my ass. You know after that I was still busting my ass hardly seeing her and then now I am a stay at home dad and it sucks. It it it's not cool it's not fun. I mean if that's what you want to do that's what you want to do but I've always loved work. I've always loved that fulfillment of hell yeah this is my money let's go get some McDonald's or some shit you know because I can do that. Now I can't I have to be like hey babe can I borrow five bucks so I can you know and it it's funny but it's also not because that's some real shit.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:06

I can't but but it's your money. It's your guys's money.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:10

But I can't I I don't feel right spending it without the permission because she works hard for it. Maybe she wanted something this week or you know whatever and I'm over here like hey give me $10 because I need new socks you know it's like it's it's a simple thing to most people but to me because I didn't work for it andor didn't help provide it I feel like an asshole.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:34

That's just kind of you gotta think you are providing for your family.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:38

In a way I'm taking care of this of my son and you know making sure the the house is clean and stuff like that but and she she works her ass off.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:47

I have no doubt but don't shortchange yourself don't do that to yourself. That's not hard not to sure it is but also someone's got to take care of that kid. True someone's gotta take care of that kid and right now it's your turn that's true. That's just the way it is man. That's true and and that you know that kid loves you. I see the way that kid looks at you.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:11

He's so fucking annoying love you buddy don't show chance yourself bud that's my uh that's my life story I mean are you happy uh where I'm at now no uh only because everything going on with me mentally and where I'm at in my life it's uh it's not fun there's been can you see yourself being happy yeah due time that's important yeah I'm not I'm not giving up that road I never have even when I lost my job or when I left my job and stuff I've never I've never been like you know what you know what I want to do I want to sit here 24 hours a day and game or I want to sit here and do nothing. Like no I want to I I I want to so bad to get back to the way I was I just gotta find the I gotta find the right path because I've only just started this journey to recovering. I'm not a fucking addict or anything anybody listening I'm not just shooting up heroin through my webbings of my toes but addict is a very negative connotation and I would appreciate if he didn't use it.

SPEAKER_05 1:15:19

Oh sorry you fucking meth heads oh um the word addict addiction you know was brought up by your son today while you were out smoking what did he say I was like where's your dad at and he was like he's out smoking I was like tell him that it's bad and he was like yeah it's an addiction to him and those were your fucking son's exact words and I don't know if that's your wife speaking that's a but that was fucking great no it's not her it's me I'm telling him that I'm telling him how bad it is because he asked me uh not too long ago he asked me he's like hey dad can I smoke right that broke my fucking heart a little kid asking his dad can I have a cigarette right like well I mean he didn't say it like that but he's like is it okay if kids smoke hey dad can I bum a smoke hey little bitch give me a smoke hey pie bitch what's up hey pie bitch give me a cig you got a square ah but that killed me so I I talked to him about it I was like daddy does it because he's an idiot and you know it's the worst decision of my life and I went deep with him because he understands I mean you guys have talked to him you can have full conversations with this kid and yeah so I explained it that's why he knows about the addiction he knows that you know it's not good for you daddy shouldn't do it and stuff like that and it kills me because I can't quit and I gotta figure out how to quit I really do because I can't do it cold turkey I went 24 hours and went right back to a full pack right after it was it was terrible I felt like oh my god the withdrawals were real but yeah that's that's my last a unique experience with quitting smoking um I was in the Marine Corps at the time and basically how I did it is I one day basically decided that I wasn't gonna buy another pack right and I got through my own cigarettes and then I started bumming off of people around me until they're like no man I'm not gonna give you another smoke and everybody's froze for me.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:32

You're not froze for us buddy keep going Oh he can't hear us anymore. His wifi took shit technical difficulties internets out there. I'm chewing tobacco right now and I love it.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:04

I absolutely love it fucking quitters you want to continue with the rest or um there's not really much more to say I haven't had a lot of achievements in my life other than getting married finding love with my life my kid well let's end it on a high note how about this what are your goals for yourself my goals right now okay so I want to be out of this house by the end of the year and I mean out of the house by learning how to drive getting my own place being an adult quote unquote adult if you will um I want to start like being able to go to the grocery store on my own getting what I need to get come home whatever uh things I wish I would have done when I was younger that's the biggest goal I mean that's like long term what I want in the next couple months goals is to be able to leave the house.

SPEAKER_05 1:19:01

For all you new listeners I have been diagnosed as a agoraphobic it is a person who is afraid to be outside perfect example is bench warmers the kid who lives in the closet I mean that's I don't have it as extreme but I get very very bad anxiety when I leave the house where I can't control my bowels I can't function I sweat it's very overwhelming um yeah so that's that's right now's goal that's what I'm working towards that's why I'm going on my walks that's why I'm working out I'm sticking to a schedule I'm eating healthier uh I cut all my soda I'm trying all the good stuff so I can get there that is uh yeah well that's awesome it's a journey I mean realistically have we actually lost anything by by losing Zach right now who no exactly exactly his girlfriend's probably beating the shit out of him right now right now huh bitch oh motherfucker yeah you didn't think I was listening I was listening to everything uh yeah no well Rich I think that leaves you buddy yeah that was life in the Philippines dude I would also like to point out that that was not me yeah no it wasn't Kevin I had to do it once we're friends right I had to hit you one time I need to see if it's okay or not before Zach I might be back you're back you're back I hear you we we hear you now we had a lot of nice things to say about you while you were gone too bud we thought Bailey was turning off your hearing I'll hear all about it at some point I'm sure I was really curious how you quit that was what we were talking about. Um how was life in the Philippines? Fuck you um I'm an American citizen douchebag uh it all started in in the fucking winter of 1990 um I envy how you and Zach kind of started because you know me and Kevin have had these talks of you know not having parents around and shit like that. This stems into you know like future shit with me but um my parents were divorced before I was even one um my mother as I love to call her my egg donor because she is no mother to me tried kidnapping me. I was kidnapped and they found me at the Vegas airport is where my family found me. Um and that's when my dad full on took me and then of course you know I stemmed up back with my great my not my great grandparents but my grandparents because uh you know my dad was a single father you know trying to raise me and everything of the sort but that as a kid you don't understand that you know like I wasn't even fucking one yet right I don't really have those memories of when all that shit was going down but that and older age now that I realize it I stemmed from a lot of abandonment issues just due to that um you know going through elementary school and stuff like that you know parent teacher conferences um those were rough you know uh my dad had remarried um to my his now second ex-wife um but my brother's mom she would take me to these you know parent teacher conferences my grandma would take me to these parent teacher conferences but it wasn't up until my grandma told me about a particular parent teacher conference that I was crying on the way back and I wasn't I was like what do you mean I was like crying like did I get in trouble at school because I was a little shithead kid I didn't really fucking listen you know like I was like did I fuck up in math did I throw something at the teacher like why was I crying um no it it was you know why why doesn't my mom love me why did my mom you know leave you know why am I not good enough and she was like you would sit there on that for quite some time I think we lost Zach again.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:52

Oh well he's frozen Rich I just before we go any further dude I just want to say that like that resonates with me so heavily because I remember being a kid and wondering the same thing. I remember being an adult and wondering the same thing. Yeah that shit is hard to get over like that is really tough stuff.

SPEAKER_05 1:24:13

I'll get into that you're gonna you're gonna hear like something you guys have I don't really rarely ever talk about. So yeah like you know that was just like one of those things you know stemming from a kid you know into adulthood like where I'm at now my grandma has always been my mom. It's always been the joke of I am the fourth son so to speak um you know because my grandmother had three kids she had my dad who was the firstborn my uncle Chris my uncle Raymond she had three boys um very fortunate growing up uh you know I didn't come from money um you know we were just like any other you know family we had our hardships and um we had our you know trials that we had to uh you know get through but I was very fortunate because not a lot of people get to meet their great grandparents um you know I got to grow up with you know a lot of my family and stuff like that even though you know my mom wasn't around you know my dad's side of the family that's who I consider my family um you know off air yesterday we kind of were talking about it and stuff like that um you know I don't consider my mom's side of the family like family to me um that's just she walked off you know you walked off see you later deuces you don't could see me you know kind of excel in my life you know going through middle school all that stuff you know I was just a troubled little kid just fucking off always getting in trouble with my fucking teachers back talking my dad getting fucking popped in the mouth because you know I want to mouth off to him and shit um high school you know I really resonate where you said straight F, but I passed PE, so be better.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:02

How about you be better and figure out how to fail it okay um I think it's harder to figure out how to fail it than it is to actually pass it.

SPEAKER_05 1:26:10

High school I didn't really give a fuck like it was I had the cool aunt and uncle uh me and my buddy Tyler we were always out there every weekend and I was always begging my dad because my dad was like a real hard ass he was like no you're not going over to your uncle's I was like but come on like I want to go fucking hang out with Tyler and shit. The real reason I wanted to go out there is because they let me drink. You know there was a cool cool aunt and uncle I got to stay at the house you know drink you know government fuck you I'm well overage now um but yeah no we got drunk on like two to three weekends out of the month and it was bad I think that's where all my partying you know quote unquote partying years went out because like when I got into my early 20s I didn't even do any of that shit you know that you know you do in your 20s I got it all out in you know my teens but it really suffered my academics. I knew the criteria I knew what I needed to do I just fucked it right off um it wasn't up until start of junior year counselor came in called me and and he was like hey bud do you want to graduate and I'm like thinking to myself not really like I really don't fucking care you know he's like so what are you gonna do? And it's kind of like that thing we're talking about last night with the education system you know where they how they kind of you know nail it in your head well you have to graduate you have to do this and you know but he was like do you want to be some like meth head piece of shit like that's straight up what he did and I was like you know what no I I don't want that um yeah no maybe maybe not I had to get my shit together and junior year senior year yeah that was crazy um like some Zach. You know, the Marine Corps was a part of my life. Uh forced my dad's signature at 17 to uh you know go in early. In game. Yeah, allegedly in-game with the government's listening. Um, they didn't give a shit. You know, it I was a number to them, I was part of their quota. Um it was shortly after you know graduation and everything, I tried going out to see my mom to try to have a relationship with her. That was probably one of the biggest mistakes of my life. You know, we're out there, you know, everything's, you know, going decent-ish. Um, and then a fight ensued. Um after that fight, my mother's egg donors' last words to me were I hope you don't come back. I hope you die over there. I hope you don't come back. You're just like your father. Get the fuck out of my house. So I did. You know, I packed my fucking ruck. No. I I packed I packed my fucking ruck that I had and I started walking down the street, and she was chasing after me in her little fucking 2002 fucking Ford Focus and chasing me down. She was like, get back over here. I'm your mother. I was like, you ain't shit to me. From this point on, you are dead to me. Do not fucking try to contact me. Do not try calling me, like, fuck you. Like, oh, well, your dad never I was like, my dad's the only one who gave a shit. Where were you all those years? You know, 18 plus fucking years, and you couldn't even, you know, like come and make sure see your son graduate or like see your son grow up and shit like that. No, you came out here, you had a new family, you have a new daughter, you know, all that shit. That's what you wanted, right? Go fuck yourself, go back to your picture perfect life, you know. Um through my twenties, you know, the mil between the military and stuff, um, you know, like Zach, he came to me for contracting. Contracting was a big part of my life. Um, I've done a lot of contract work. Um, some good, some fucking just terrible shit that is left with inside your head. Um, but I miss contracting. Even though I'm in the career field that I am, I do miss contracting. But I had to take a look back when there was an instance where my younger sister was uh she had a bad dream. And anytime she had a bad dream, she would try to come and you know kind of cuddle up, hey, I had a bad dream, Bubba. It was a big fucking realization hit when I slammed her to the floor and I was ready to snap her neck because I was not here. And like my my psyche, everything was not here. I was ready to snap her neck. I had to take a fucking huge step back to be able to just hey bro, there's a fucking problem up here. You know, you can keep denying it all you want and joke about it all you fucking want, but like there's a fucking big problem. Cause, you know, my sisters, that's probably one of the biggest blessings in my life, because I have helped raise them since you know they were babies and everything like that. Because my dad and his fucking girlfriend, which is, you know, their mom and everything, they were always out at the fucking bar. I never got to really go out, stayed in, played video games, fucking had the rocker right there, sitting there rocking Riley while I'm talking shit on Modern Warfare 2, fucking just sitting there talking shit to kids, you know, in the pre- in the pregame lobbies, but they were probably the biggest blessings that I've had my entire life. And you know, just for me to do that to my sister was like a very big step back. And um, I won't go too much into it. I did suffer an injury that was a near-death experience, and that pretty much got me out of that line of work as far as that contracting side. You know, worked from contract to contract just on the civilian side, um, mechanics, all my family are fucking uh monkey wrenches, as they call them. I didn't want to do that shit. I fucking hated mechanics. Like my dad would sit there and fucking tell me to hold up a light, fucking, and he would fucking smack the shit out of me when I hold up when my fucking arm would get tired, you know. He's like, fuck fucking hold it right there. I'm like, dude, do you know how long I've been holding this year? Like, fucking hurry up. I don't know what the fuck you're doing. Um but you know, coming into my late 20s, the dumbest fucking decision I had was getting married. Because I did not get married out of love. I got married, I was with this person for four months, if that, prior to getting eloped. Not a good decision. We got married with the intentions of getting a divorce, because I was led to believe um, as Kevin and John knows, Zach, you you had gone to bed when I had shared uh off air with some of the stuff. I have a big thing for kids. There is a reason to that. You people on Air I will never share that with you, and I just that's my own personal preference. There's bad things that are behind that. But I did it for the kid because we were gonna get married, he she can fucking take full custody, and then we're gonna get a divorce. But it didn't turn out that way. We ended up staying together. Found out that she was cheating, doing all her fucking dirty ass shit behind my back, because my cousin calls me one night and I'm fucking working, and I got my got my fast helmet on, I got my nods flipped down, I'm fucking driving around. He's like, Hey, are you home? And then I'm like, motherfucker, does it look like I'm home? And like I got the helmet, the nods, and he's like, Oh no, you're at work right now because why would you be at home playing with your fucking helmet? I was like, Yeah, I can't take any my helmet I can take home. I can't take my fucking uh nods home. That's sensitive items. Um and he was like, look at this, and he flips the camera. And in this house, because I bought two houses with her, we had a very big kitchen window. And they're just fucking getting it on in the fucking on the kitchen table, and fucking you can see it clear as day if you're standing in the street. So I started taking screenshots. I'm like, okay, whatever. Uh this was the day that I loved because that's when we found out we lost our jobs when we got off work. They were like, hey, here's your severance packages, like, fucking see you later. I'm like, what?

SPEAKER_03 1:35:07

That's a bad day.

SPEAKER_06 1:35:08

Like, what? Like, I just found out my wife's cheating, and you can fucking laying me off, you know. Like, okay. This is worse news ever.

SPEAKER_05 1:35:20

Yeah, worse news ever. It was it was a bad day, but it was also the start to something better, too. Um, you know, I came home, confronted, you know, got dealt with all that bullshit, then we uh got started with the divorce proceedings. Um from that point on, I was, you know, jobless, kind of wondering what the fuck I'm gonna do. So I applied to over 900 jobs in the span of four days. Like I had an office, my own office. I didn't leave that bitch other than to like piss shit, fucking go and grab something to eat real quick. I had a futon in there that I fucking slept on. Um, I didn't leave that office because I was like, fuck, what am I gonna do? Like, because I need to have a job. I fucking have two houses. Brinks calls. And they were like, well, meaning to move to Colorado's I fucking consider it done. See you later. And that's when I left California. Fucking very great, great, humble beginning of starting a new chapter because California was just dead. Bunch of dead memories, all that shit. Um, you know, the last two years haven't been, you know, great. Um, you know, loss of family, but you know, that stems from like as you grow older, you know, obviously family doesn't live forever. Um, but now I'm in the position of I am the keeper of my sisters, um, you know, watching over them. You know, I do, even though it's been you know short, things are going great right now, Brennan. Don't fuck up because the boys did it too.

SPEAKER_06 1:36:57

Because Kevin did it too.

SPEAKER_05 1:36:59

Motherfucker, she wasn't in my beginning.

SPEAKER_06 1:37:01

She's new, she's here now. Yeah, she is now. That's where I'm talking about is right now.

SPEAKER_05 1:37:08

You fucked up right now. No, I fucking joke around with her all the time because Kevin will come and get that out.

SPEAKER_04 1:37:18

We can talk differently about them when we're committed in marriage.

SPEAKER_05 1:37:23

No, so here's the thing, you know, that you can give me and Zach shit for, but as a married person, John, you shouldn't keep bringing up the fact of I thought the love of my life and then the love of my life. No, you know, no no no no you shouldn't be using those in the same sentence because women do not like that shit sometimes.

SPEAKER_00 1:37:45

Yeah, women also don't like people who are divorced either.

SPEAKER_05 1:37:48

Well, fucking Brennan had doesn't have a fucking problem. Join the fucking club. Yeah, right now join the fucking club. No. Um, Brennan, she's great. Um who's Brennan? Yeah, who is that? The girlfriend.

SPEAKER_03 1:38:05

Where is she? Oh, dude, you're not in.

SPEAKER_05 1:38:07

She's at work. Huh? No. Sorry, Kevin. Only you. Only you. When it comes to Kevin.

SPEAKER_00 1:38:15

Guys, I'm gonna do it.

SPEAKER_05 1:38:17

Do what?

SPEAKER_00 1:38:18

So one of our lady friends is gonna meet each other.

SPEAKER_05 1:38:23

We'll talk about that.

SPEAKER_03 1:38:25

We'll talk about that.

SPEAKER_05 1:38:26

Um future podcast? Yeah, future podcast. Yes, we've already stay tuned. Stay tuned.

SPEAKER_04 1:38:32

This is a possibility.

SPEAKER_05 1:38:36

Uh yeah, no. Um Brennan's my girlfriend. Um, things are going great with her. Uh, you know, my sisters, you know, that's always uh those are my number one girls. Doesn't matter if I'm married, doesn't matter if I'm committed to anyone, those girls are always gonna come first. And Brennan understands that. And that's great because uh fuck you, Blondie. Um, you know, that was one of the things when my father passed away that really irked me. Um that, you know, my commitment towards those girls were questioned as if uh I wasn't fully committed uh, you know, to said person. But you know, those are my sisters. You know, they're pretty much, you know, I see them like kind of like my daughters, you know, now. Um, you know, but you know, life is going good. I have a great job. Um you know, there are things that I can also improve on. Um, there's definitely like living in an apartment, you know, although it's great, because I don't have to spend like if my water heater goes out, I just fucking call someone and tell them to fix that shit. But I would definitely like to get a house, but definitely right now is not the fucking time to be looking to buy a fucking house.

SPEAKER_03 1:39:51

I think how long have you and Brennan been together now?

SPEAKER_05 1:39:54

Uh it's been about a month.

SPEAKER_03 1:39:56

A month? I think you should buy two.

SPEAKER_05 1:39:58

Yeah, and I think you should get married. Two more houses. Two more houses for sure. Yeah, maybe make the same mistake over and over again. Yeah, no, no, definitely not. Um that that was that was one thing we have like talked, you know. What do we want for the future? Not marriage, but what do you want down the line? Um, you know, because Brennan's in her 30s as well. Um, it's just different, you know, going from someone who was in their fucking 20s to someone who's in their 30s, like actually knowing what they're low 20s. Low 23.

SPEAKER_03 1:40:32

23. Hashtag fuck you blondie.

SPEAKER_05 1:40:34

Hashtag fuck you, Blondie. Um yeah, no, but it's like uh the first date was just kind of like going up, like, hey, what what where do you see yourself? Like, what do you want, you know, out of a you know, person? What do you find, you know? But it was just constructive, you know, not bullshitting, but uh, yeah, no, I'm in a great place. You know, we're running this podcast, you know, streaming that's kind of non-existent right now. Hashtag Modern Warfare 2 come October, be here already. Um be there. That's when you know the streams will come back up. But yeah, just life is going predominantly, you know, decent amid all the things that have happened the last two years. Because uh, even though you haven't been here for the full ride, John, Kevin and Zach have for the last uh you know two years with some bullshit going on.

SPEAKER_03 1:41:23

And bottom bitch.

SPEAKER_05 1:41:26

Bottom bitch. Um it's definitely better. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:41:30

Yeah, I thought you were talking about Pope.

SPEAKER_05 1:41:32

Sorry. No, hashtag.

SPEAKER_00 1:41:35

Um hashtag Pope.

SPEAKER_05 1:41:37

Yeah, no, I could say when I met these two guys, I did not um this and this, you know, goes with you too, John. Um I did not think, you know, friends always to me were physical, you know, like hey, we knew each other, we fucking hung out, you know, we went over to each other's houses, cracked open some beers. In these last three years, you know, the relationships that I've built, you know, online and friendships and shit like that. It's just it's crazy how you know they always talk shit on us for playing video games. But if it wasn't for video games, I would not have met, you know, Zach. I would not have met Kevin, I would not have pushed your shit in on Tarkov, John. Really? That's just crazy. Yeah, you let me. I think I have taught you the ways of that game. But uh, no. I it was funny when I first met Zach, because I met Zach before I met Kevin. That's that's where it stemmed off is I met Kevin after I met Zach. And I'm not sure what the fuck happened because how we play squad. I mean, you've played squad with us, Sean. You know how we act and everything.

SPEAKER_00 1:42:51

Uh I think you guys met each other on squad.

SPEAKER_03 1:42:54

Yeah, we did.

SPEAKER_00 1:42:55

Well, what happened comms?

SPEAKER_03 1:42:57

Yeah.

unknown 1:42:57

Really?

SPEAKER_03 1:42:58

That's how Zach and him met. And then uh Rich asked Zach, Hey, do you have any friends that are better looking and funnier than you? And he's like, I do. I do. Funny fact. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:43:11

So because I always used to play with hashtag pipe, return us, return pipe.

SPEAKER_03 1:43:17

Comeback pipe, we missed James.

SPEAKER_05 1:43:19

Um, I always used to play squad with James, and that I met James through Call of Duty. And me and James, it was crazy because James lives down in Colorado Springs. We've actually hung out and you know, met one another. James is a really cool guy, and he got me in a squad. Squad stem to meeting Zach and Kevin, you know, and you know, it's just crazy over the last two years that not knowing anyone in Colorado, like I am perfectly content coming home, get hopping on Discord, not even playing games, just sitting here bullshitting with you boys. And we do it a lot. Fucking great. A lot, a lot.

SPEAKER_03 1:43:52

These cons are f uh, these kinds of cons are holy shit, English. These kinds of conversations happen all the time. This is this is nothing new. This is this is uh every day.

SPEAKER_05 1:44:07

Just about every day. Yeah, almost every day.

SPEAKER_03 1:44:10

And somehow I have not gotten sick of you guys yet, and I it's that's what's impressive.

SPEAKER_00 1:44:15

I'm numb at this point, so that's fair.

SPEAKER_05 1:44:20

But yeah, that's uh quote unquote my life story. Paraphrased. Shh boring. Oh, sorry, let me let me go into uh you know my stripper days back in the fucking eighties, you know.

SPEAKER_04 1:44:35

Boomer riding pole for like 37 years.

SPEAKER_06 1:44:38

Yeah, I've been riding a pole for like 45 years.

SPEAKER_05 1:44:49

Just fucking daggers being thrown out all fucking night.

SPEAKER_00 1:44:53

You know what's fucking crazy?

SPEAKER_03 1:44:55

What's that, baby?

SPEAKER_00 1:44:56

Is how we're all hanging out. We all clearly like each other enough to stand each other, right? Yeah, but we all have the most wild lives comparison to each other.

unknown 1:45:10

Right?

SPEAKER_03 1:45:10

Uh yeah. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 1:45:13

Yeah, like it's crazy because we would have never known that. You know, that's true. That's not something you would go and hey, what's up, man? You're at the bar with me. Like, guess what? My fucking mom's on house arrest, and you know, you don't it's not things that you share. And even though we share that information, it doesn't change how we see each other, which is pretty pretty cool.

SPEAKER_03 1:45:36

You know, like if I wouldn't, you know, if I if Rich had never spoken up, I would have never known that he was, you know, taken away uh in Vietnam on a helicopter.

SPEAKER_00 1:45:49

To Vegas. Um dropped off on Vegas because they forgot the cargo.

SPEAKER_04 1:45:54

We don't know exactly where he came from. We just know one day he showed up in Vegas.

SPEAKER_03 1:45:59

Wrapped up in palm leaves. I don't Rich, come back.

SPEAKER_06 1:46:06

Richard. He was dropped off.

SPEAKER_03 1:46:08

Yo, your candy's fucking good there. Richard.

SPEAKER_06 1:46:16

He replaced some other kid named Richard Martin.

SPEAKER_03 1:46:24

What happened to you was atrocious, but I want you to know I'm here for you.

SPEAKER_04 1:46:28

I'm sorry, Wayfair got a hold of you.

SPEAKER_06 1:46:30

Yeah. Wayfair really fucked me as a child.

SPEAKER_03 1:46:37

My dad threw a dresser on top of me once.

SPEAKER_05 1:46:40

And then Richard fell out.

SPEAKER_03 1:46:42

So I feel I feel like Narnia. So I feel like I am one of those kids that was in the cabinet of Wayfair. So make it actually makes sense. I see. It was a big armoire, dude.

SPEAKER_00 1:46:56

I don't know, dude. I think they're a little overpriced.

SPEAKER_03 1:46:58

I I would agree. Yeah. I'd agree. They don't work hard enough for what I pay for.

SPEAKER_04 1:47:03

It's not how it looks cabinet on the inside.

SPEAKER_03 1:47:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:47:10

And with that, and with that being said, that is uh humble beginnings, humble, humble beginnings and humble starts, and wherever the fuck you stem from now. Thank you, Carlos, for your email and John for reiterating Carlos's email. Shout out to Carlos.

SPEAKER_00 1:47:32

And continue sending those emails, guys. Yeah, please. Everybody, give us ideas. We will we will talk here for hours. Just we just need topics.

SPEAKER_05 1:47:41

I mean, we have a bunch of topics. It's just yeah, what do we what do we choose from?

SPEAKER_03 1:47:46

We don't try to make everything so sad all the time. We try to we gotta mix in some happiness in there. Send us some happy topics that you want to hear about. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:47:57

I mean, this wasn't too dark.

SPEAKER_03 1:47:59

Dark part. I mean, yeah. I think it's good though. It's a little backstory on this, which is nice.

SPEAKER_05 1:48:06

Because we've been more on the uppity side of things for uh the episodes less of from where we definitely started. Nothing is getting dark about it. Where we are now, yeah. Where we are now. Um, final thoughts, John's kick us off.

SPEAKER_00 1:48:23

Final thoughts, man. You know, pursue what you want in life. It doesn't matter where you're at now, just always look forward to tomorrow. Plain and simple.

unknown 1:48:35

Damn.

SPEAKER_05 1:48:36

Beautiful. Yeah. Beautiful. Zach.

SPEAKER_04 1:48:39

Uh my thing is like um, you know, with me, I don't necessarily know what career I want. But finding the base thing that you love is gonna help you really determine your pass. You know, so just search for that one aspect of something you love and then start looking at things that have that aspect.

SPEAKER_00 1:48:58

I'm sorry for laughing. I just thought about the regret thing about cryptocurrency, and it made me laugh. I know.

SPEAKER_03 1:49:06

It's just trying to have a serious conversation here, Jim. I know, sorry. Kevin, uh your past doesn't have to determine your future. You hold the keys to that car, and you can you can drive it anywhere you want, unless you're John without a driver's license. Um but uh you you can make what you want out of anything, even depending on your situation. It doesn't really matter. Um, you have to take the reins and you have to you have to steer that boat in the direction you want it to go. So that's that's all I have to say about that. I could talk about that one for a long time. I do it every day.

SPEAKER_04 1:49:54

Set a path and use your chevre legs. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_06 1:50:01

Rich fucking sick.

SPEAKER_05 1:50:06

Yeah, no, uh more off of uh, you know, Kevin, you know, definitely your past does not uh define your future. Um it's kind of like that ace test you're talking about. Um, you know, for you listeners out there that Kevin had taken with how me and Kevin grew up, you know, so to speak, you know, with like our parents and you know our upbrings and stuff, there could have been a lot worse areas that we ended up in. But yet we saw the brighter side of things and you know, we took Jesus take the wheel, but um fucking you know, we took the wheel of our own, you know, pass and you know, made it better, you know, and be better, like Zach says. Um you know, just going going from a shit upbringing and you know, making a better future for it. Uh, you know, for those people who are out there, if you think you're in a shit rut right now, do something about it. Um it's just like my brother. I've been telling him every single fucking day to just, you know, it's fucking Zach's whole thing to be better always stuck in my head. And I'm just like, dude, fucking be better for yourself. You know, you're the only one who's gonna do stuff for you. You know, the shit's not gonna get handed down to you, people. It's not. You have to go out there, you have to seize the day, you have to seize the opportunity. You know, shit's not gonna get handed down to you unless you're fucking one of those rich ass motherfucker trust fund babies. And for for those people, fuck you. Because I wish I could get shit down to the big thing.

SPEAKER_01 1:51:37

That's the one percenters, man, and it's not any of us, okay?

SPEAKER_05 1:51:40

Yeah, I wish I could have shit handed down to me and all that, but uh no. Definitely go out there, work for what you want. Maybe a shit rut right now, but uh yeah, things will get better. You just have to go out there and get her done. But other than that, 100% word. Beautiful, beautiful, great episode, boys. Um, for those of you listeners who want to see the visuals, you always can go over to the YouTube channel, the Magdump Podcast. For those people like Carlos who have sent us in emails, the email is the Magdump Podcast at gmail.com. Send us your email, send us your suggestions, QA's, whatever it is that you guys want to send in, definitely utilize the email. Um, for you those of you we're on every major directory. If you want a full list to that major directory, that website is the magdump podcast.buzzsprout.com. And uh something that I was looking into last night, and we might have a domain here very soon within the month or so. Might have an actual website. So that'll be the magdump podcast network dot com. Um, but Echo Daddy. Echo Daddy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:52:58

Um is it at the Team It Over website?

SPEAKER_05 1:53:01

Yes, because uh we will be linking um Kevin's OnlyFans. That's onlyfans.com forward slash tubitoes. Um thank you. Yeah, go and uh show Kevin some love. John, any socials you wanna you know put out there?

SPEAKER_00 1:53:17

Um honestly just my Twitter uh at RCTICC as in thick. Yep. Uh I post a lot of uh I'm going to be posting a lot of stuff about our podcast and you know, shouting people out respectively. Um I'm also gonna be posting a lot of MW2 shit. So if you want to keep up to date, please hit me with that follow. You'll stay informed.

SPEAKER_05 1:53:42

Zach, I know they answered this question already. Any socials at this time?

SPEAKER_04 1:53:45

Not yet.

SPEAKER_05 1:53:46

We'll see if off the radar we know, dude. It keeps it nice and simple. I like them for that. Kevin, any socials at this time?

SPEAKER_03 1:53:57

Absolutely not.

SPEAKER_05 1:53:58

Absolutely not.

SPEAKER_03 1:53:59

Maybe Instagram at one of these points time. We'll see where OnlyFans forward slash Toby Toes.

SPEAKER_05 1:54:04

Uh you guys can follow me at Twitter at chaoskos zero five fourteen. That's the same for the Twitch. That's where you'll find these live recordings go live up until Modern Warfare 2 comes out. Because that's when the quote unquote Casa de Waffle will make a grand return when the MW2s come out. But other than that, I'm Richard Martin. We have the Love You Till You Float, John Rowe. That's me. The ever-tired Zach McLean, who has to go to work in the morning. Mornings are rough. Mornings are rough. And we have the beautiful as ever, Kevin McLaughlin. You bring smack up. But other than that, we are the Magdum podcast, and we will catch you guys all sometime soon. Catch y'all fuckers.

SPEAKER_00 1:54:58

Later. Shave your ass.