Across the Counter
This podcast is a passion project where we interview a diverse blend of musicians, authors, podcasters, pastors, and thinkers about semi religious topics.
Instead of listening to respond or debate, we listen to understand through finding common ground and hearing our guests’ stories.
So grab your beverage of choice and pull up a seat Across the Counter!
Learn more at www.atcpodcast.com
Across the Counter
Paradise & Providence | Isaac “PEABOD” Peabody | Episode 53
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Join us for round 2 with PEABOD!
In this ATC Episode:
• What if recognizing God's presence in your everyday life could change everything? Join us as we sit down with the Christian artist PEABOD, also known as Isaac, who opens up about his journey in the music industry and his latest projects, including the catchy single "Paradise" featured in a SoFi commercial.
• Isaac gets real about the ups and downs of being an independent artist, sharing both the creative freedoms and the overwhelming responsibilities that come with it. We also dive into pressing industry issues like the Live Nation lawsuit and the evolving policies at Spotify, and how these changes are impacting artists today.
• Ever wondered how God's sovereignty plays out in the minutiae of our daily lives? This episode takes a thought-provoking turn as we discuss the profound concept of God's providence, sparked by a powerful sermon. Isaac and I reflect on how recognizing God's hand in everything—from simple choices to significant life events—can transform our perspective. We tackle the pressures of modern hustle culture and the comforting realization that, despite our ceaseless efforts, divine provision ultimately supports us.
• If you've ever found joy in life's simple pleasures, you'll resonate with our final segment. From the satisfaction of homeownership to the unexpected delight of growing grass and mastering pickleball, this chapter celebrates the everyday moments that bring contentment. Isaac shares his personal journey of faith, career transitions, and the ongoing process of rediscovering trust in God's provision, even in the unpredictable world of an independent music career.
Whether you’re a fan of Christian music, a seeker of spiritual insights, or someone who appreciates the simple joys of life, this episode has something for you.
Connect with PEABOD:
Instagram: @peabodraps
Website: https://www.peabodraps.com/?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAabxjz_ZrDKO-yvnyFsHYEeGKE-jyrPxXNGmfgNZprGwb5IuXqsJtYBy6TI_aem_ZmFrZWR1bW15MTZieXRlcw
Creating Music as a Christian Artist
Speaker 1This is what I mean by paradise very nice, sweet, with a little spice worth the price.
Speaker 2Pull up a chair across the counter. Your one-stop shop for a variety of perspectives around Jesus and Christianity. I'm Grant Lockridge and I'm here with P-Bod, otherwise known as Isaac. P-body and Isaac, what have you been up to recently? You've already done one episode with us, so what's been going on, man?
Speaker 1Oh man. Well, thank you for having me back. I've just been, you know, eagerly awaiting being back on the podcast. I haven't really done, no.
Speaker 2I'm just kidding. That's your whole life. Goal is to be a second time guest on the Across the Counter podcast.
Speaker 1Exactly, it's finally coming true today so I can retire happy. Exactly, it's finally coming true today so I can retire happy. And yeah, no, yeah, it's been, it's been busy. I finished a record in December which I want to I'm trying to just do volume, man, like I just I love being in the studio and I love making songs and so, uh, I'm just trying to get as much music out there as possible. So, um, yeah, I got the album out in December, released a song in uh, I want to say January no, it was done in January but it didn't come out until March uh called paradise and uh was lucky enough to have that placed in a SoFi commercial, which is super fun. Um, and I have another song coming out at the end of this month, called 10 feet, with my buddy, matt Mogg. And yeah, man, I just been making a lot of music and trying to get it in more commercials and stuff and playing summer camps, and you know it's that time of year and so I'm ready to get pelted with glow sticks for an entire set.
Speaker 1And yeah, man, it's been. It's been busy, but it's been really good.
Speaker 2That sounds awesome, man. The whole volume thing. It sounds difficult because my personal goal for this podcast is do an episode a week for two years. Wow, so I've hit year one, so I did 52 episodes, and so I'm doing more of a volume thing myself. I'm just like I don't care who listens to it, what's going on, I'm having a good time and I'm going to go for two years and then reevaluate what's going on.
Speaker 1I love that, yeah, man, I think, especially if it's something that fuels you like cause obviously there's the whole like strategic side of it where it's like you know, content, content, content, like just get stuff out there. But I think you can really only do that if it's like I love this and so I I love making music. So if I have an excuse to make as many songs as possible and and now that I'm independent, it's like I can just kind of make whatever I want and put it out there whenever I want, and so, um, yeah, man, I'm just uh having fun making songs. Um, yeah, man, I'm just uh having fun making songs.
Speaker 2It's been good. I love that. Uh, you went independent with it. I feel like that's a pretty bold step. So that's, that's impressive.
Speaker 1Yeah, it's. It's definitely been a steep learning curve, for sure. Uh, and you know I love my time with the label. But, um, yeah, you go independent and you're like whoa, like wow I, there's a lot of things I gotta do, so uh, I actually did stuff, yeah, yeah, and I mean you know, I, I knew that they uh, I was pretty close with a lot of people at the label, um, and so there's some things I was expecting but, um, but other things I was like oh man I forgot that someone else totally had this figured out and I now I've figured out, so, but it's been good.
Speaker 1I've got some buddies who who helped me out and shout out Austin and Kevin, if you're listening to this and my sister's jumping in to help help out with some things too, so it's fun to get to. I mean, I'm sure you feel this way too. Just getting to work on a creative project, like with your friends, with your people, is super rewarding. So it's definitely not as as flashy or or well funded as having having a whole company behind you, but but it's pretty cool to have, just like to be able to look at the album we put out and be like man. Me and my buddies made this together and it was just us, and so, um, yeah, man, it feels good and I'm going on uh gosh, two and a half, almost three years of doing music full time. So just kind of like thanking God that this gets to be my job for however long that lasts, and uh, yeah, man. So, uh, yeah, it's it, it's good stuff. I feel very grateful dude, that's awesome.
Speaker 2So you've been three years music full-time, then that's, that's wild. Yeah, man, not a lot of people can do that man so, yeah, man, it's, it's a trip and it's a.
Speaker 1it's a weird time in the industry, uh, I mean, I'm sure I don't know if you've seen some of the headlines, but like, like, live nation is in a lawsuit right now because they uh apparently have like a monopoly on the touring industry.
Speaker 1They own too many venues and so like there's not uh as much opportunity for for touring artists to actually make a living there.
Speaker 1There's also like all the stuff going on with spotify and and changing their rates and bundling things and, um, the cool thing is people are talking about it and figuring it out, but, um, it's just it feels like a uh, a turbulent season in the industry where there's just a lot of questions being asked and a lot of potential change coming down uh the pipeline Not that I really know anything about, but just just a lot of uh the staples of the industry.
Speaker 1People are like challenging them and asking questions and things, and so it's going to be interesting to see how it shakes out. So, um, in that sense, sometimes it's a little scary that this is my job and also I feel like really grateful that it is, because I think it is it's not lost on me that it's. It's kind of a rarity to be able to make it make it work these days, so, and my wife is supportive of it, which is really the big thing Like you know, that's a w right there that she's able to be like no, yeah, go for it, let's, uh, let's keep doing this.
Speaker 2Is is cool so we'll eat ramen for every meal. Yeah, fine exactly, exactly.
Speaker 1We're surviving, we're out here, we're living dude crushing it.
Speaker 2So I was talking to um eliasmer, who's the guy from City Harmonic back in the day and he's doing some solo stuff now and he hit me with like all sorts of crazy wisdom about like the music industry and all that stuff. And I'm curious how do you balance like performance, because you do make Jesus music, you do make you know Christian music, whatever you want to call it but, um, how do you balance you know kind of the performance aspect via the, you know, just writing songs about Jesus? Cause that seems like a hard one to balance.
Speaker 1Yeah, uh, no, it's a really good question, I think, um, I think a lot of it stems from just kind of knowing what the purpose behind the music is. So, for example, sometimes I lead worship at my church and I have a background in doing that, and that's a very different purpose. When you get up in front of your church and lead songs for corporate worship, for corporate worship, uh, the, the goal there is, um, you know, to help the entire congregation to move into a space where we're all talking to Jesus together and praising him for how good he is. Um, and I think that, uh, there can be some overlap, of course, in in solo artist stuff, but I think that I think what's different is's different is most of my music starts as, like, my own personal thoughts or prayers. You know, going like this is something I'm grateful for, this is something I'm wrestling with, and so I think it's different when someone, if you go to a show, like we were talking about Chris Renzema before we started recording here, who's a phenomenal artist, and Chris has a lot of songs that are very personal, and also, if you see him live, he's one of the best performers you'll ever see. Like he's, he's incredible and his crowds know all his lyrics, and, and so I think that when, when we're talking about Christian art in general, if you're going to see one performer who has written these songs or one band who's written these songs that are about their life, um, I think it's almost like like reading a biography or watching a documentary or something. Where you're going.
Speaker 1I'm going to learn to like engage with the Lord through this person's story, and maybe I relate to pieces of their story, but I think a lot of people can get hung up on, like you know, making it about me or whatever, and certainly, like you know, I want people to encounter Jesus at my concerts and when they listen to my music, and also, I think that the way that God uses me is I just talk about what he's doing in my life and I share things that are speaking to me, and people can kind of take it or leave it, um, but I I think that that's what's cool about just how God is always working in the world, as, as he chooses to use people as his instruments, even though we're broken and imperfect, cause, uh, he, he gets all the glory when, when good stuff happens, because, uh, that's that all comes from him.
Speaker 1So, um, I think the. To sum up, what I'm trying to say is I feel like, um, I feel like there has to be a difference between just just the context of like. Are we coming here to have a corporate worship experience where this isn't really about the story of the people on stage? This is about all of us uh like, experiencing God together as as a community, or is this? I want to come here to like, uh, celebrate and and experience God, but, like, through this person's story and what they're bringing to the table, with what they've decided to write about, with what God's laid on their heart? So, um, yeah, does that, does that kind of answer your question?
Speaker 2Oh, yeah, okay, eloquently at that. Well, thank you, thank you, no, but, um, I just think that one if our heart was perfectly in the right place, you know, if we didn't, basically, if we didn't do anything until our heart was exactly in the right place, we'd never do anything. Yes, because we're fallen creatures. So it's like yes, that's kind of what. Something I've been wrestling through on this podcast is like well, do I want to release? Like, like.
Speaker 2My first battle was like, do I want to release this, cause I just literally wanted to talk to people that I couldn't talk to, like I couldn't fly to wherever and go get coffee with a person. So I was like I can just talk to people. And then I was like all right, I had to pray about like, should I release this? And then it became a release. And then it was like okay, people are actually listening to this thing pretty good. So what do I do with that? What episode should I release? And it's I don't know. So I've been kind of going on that you don't want to do intentional harm. So obviously you don't want to be just preaching heresy all day, but just the idea of like your heart's never going to be completely right, but that Jesus has enough grace for literally all of us is insane. So that's kind of what I've been leaning into more than anything.
Speaker 1Yep, no, I love that. It reminds me a little bit of that. It's somewhere in the New Testament I think it's one of Paul's letters where he's saying, like not all of you should teach, but if you do, blah, blah, blah. And I'm not saying what we're doing is teach. I don't know that I would call myself a teacher per se, but I think that you can kind of expand that idea to like there's a certain weight that comes with having any sort of platform and whether you're a pastor or an artist or a podcaster or an author or anything that's in front of people saying anything, if you're a believer, there's an extra weight to that. And I think that for a long time I took that as almost like this tension of like, well, am I just doing this because I want attention, or am I just doing this because I think I'm so awesome or whatever? And I don't think in. Obviously, those thoughts can creep in into anyone's life. I'm sure every pastor who's on stage in front of hundreds of thousands of people on Sundays asked has to wrestle with that. Um, but I think exactly like what you're saying, like we're all imperfect and and the trick is to keep surrendering those things to the Lord and trusting that, like when we keep giving these platforms or these places that we find ourselves in to him, like he can do cool things with it, and I think that it's not so much like I don't know.
Speaker 1I think it could be very easy to feel like guilty for having some sort of platform, and by platform I don't mean like a huge stage, just like anyone who's listening to you for whatever reason.
Speaker 1It can be easy to take that as like uh, well, I shouldn't have this because I'm so broken.
Speaker 1And I think that kind of the point is like we're, we're all broken and if you find yourself in that position, you get to use it to go look how good God is, not how awesome I am, and uh, it's.
Speaker 1I think it it's, um, it gets to be a cool like like I know for my dad, as he's he's a pastor and I know for him it has felt like, uh, like, getting to do the preaching side of things has felt like this really cool opportunity to dive into things in his own life and then share them, as he's having these realizations that maybe, maybe he wouldn't have those if he wasn't, you know, having to preach a sermon every week, and so, um, yeah, I think I think the nature of having a platform is like, yeah, we always gotta be careful that we're um in the right headspace and not thinking that we got there on our own strength or, uh, cause everything good, every opportunity comes from God. Um, and also, I think that we don't have to feel like, uh, like it can't be used or no good can come of it, because I think a lot of good things can come of it.
Discovering God's Providence in Daily Life
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah, definitely the I was. I was watching a sermon that my father-in-law sent me about the providence of God and it was like this guy in like a pinstripe suit in New York and you know the stereotypical like pastor, like he was yelling and I was like, okay, it's going to be one of these, and then the content was actually super solid, Like it was basically like there's no luck, which is something that I would completely agree with. That I haven't really thought about that often of just like there's not luck, there's no chance. If you believe that God is sovereign and you believe that he is sovereign over everything, If you believe that God is sovereign and you believe that he is sovereign over everything, then literally us having this conversation, me getting up out of my chair after this conversation, talking to my wife doing whatever, all providence from the Lord, yeah, which is kind of crazy to think about. Just like everything, Just like buying a Gatorade at the gas station.
Speaker 1I don't know.
Speaker 2So that's something that you kind of reminded me of with that. But absolutely.
Speaker 1Yeah, that's crazy. The idea that, uh, that god knows where we're at and is walking with us all the time is like like we all say that as christians. I think we all say that and we like believe it, but when you really like dial in on the what that means, it's like whoa, that's, that's kind of crazy, actually. If you really think about it.
Speaker 2Yeah, man, that's a trip, for sure when it gets, when it gets out of your head and into your heart, it's like, oh gosh, yes, yes, because, like you know that it takes me a second for me to actually believe things, if that makes sense, because I believe, like belief is putting your full weight into something, not just like saying, oh, that's true, so it takes me a second to be like, okay, providence of God, yeah, that makes sense. But then it's like whoa providence of God? Yeah, that's everywhere, dude.
Speaker 1Yes, absolutely yeah. I feel like my I turned 30 last summer and I feel like my first few months of being 30 have been a lot of like wow, all these things that I totally would have said. Like I believe this, this is true, I'm, I'm recognizing like it, I it hasn't gone as deep as I thought it did, and I'm, I feel like I'm experiencing God in some new ways, where it's like whoa, you really are trustworthy, whoa, you really are good, and uh, you know, I, I think it. It can be easy to forget those things or or, like you said, just kind of only lean into them on an intellectual level. Um, but there there can be a whole soul level belief that we can access. Uh, as God teaches us stuff, that's, that's really cool. And he's so patient man, like I just feel like he has been so patient with me, taking a long time to learn some things and just meeting me where I'm at, so I feel grateful. God's really good.
Speaker 2No doubt man Definitely, incredibly patient. Yeah, oh yeah, that's such a wild statement to just say the Lord is good. Yes, there's so much that constitutes that one little phrase of like yeah, god's good, but it's like you mean that everything that is good is God and God encompasses goodness and he is the definition of that and anything that's good. Ever like that's. That's a little different than being like that guy's a pretty good guy. Yes, like no, he is the definition of goodness.
Speaker 1That's yes, absolutely, absolutely, and and like, I think, um, it gives such a different context to, uh, I don't know, anything good that we experience in this life. Being able to see it as a gift from the Father brings with it some humility where it's like, I don't know, we live in a time where there's so much hustle culture, grind culture, so much like hustle culture, like grind culture, like we all know that, like you know, the business, social media influencers or you know, wake up and grind or whatever, but I, I think that, like, as easy as that is to poke fun at, um, I, I think, just like, living in this day and age on the internet, I think everyone kind of has this idea that, like, anything good that happens to you in your life is only only happens if you put the work in. And, uh, and obviously, like two degree, there's some truth to that Like we can't just sit on our hands and expect, you know, gold to fall out of the sky or whatever. But, uh, I, I really feel like the Lord has been challenging me recently because, man, that can lead to like some really paralyzing anxiety going like, oh, man, like, uh, my wife and I aren't going to be like in a better financial place unless I like, really like, destroy myself in pursuit of some sort of success, like I gotta be putting in way more effort than I am, even though I'm already working pretty hard.
Speaker 1Like you can, you can have this standard. That's always like rising, where you're never hitting the mark because, uh, you're going like well. Uh, clearly, like you know, we're not rich yet or we're not whatever. So, like I must not be working hard enough, um and and realizing that, like man, any, any provision, uh, any good thing comes from the Lord, it allows me to go. Okay, I do have limits, and that's actually a really beautiful thing.
Speaker 1It allows me, like you know, when I landed that uh sofi commercial there was, there was a nice little check that came along with that, nothing like change your life money. But it came in a season when, like I didn't have a lot of shows on the books, there was not a lot going on, and it was also something I had written years ago that just happened to be right for this one placement. And so I felt like there were all these things where it was like, and on top of that, it was a music supervisor buddy of mine who pitched it Like it wasn't even like. I was like, oh, I've got this song, that's perfect for that. Like someone else pitched it for me and landed it for me, which is so cool.
Speaker 1But, it was like all these things made it really clear Like, wow, what a gift from the Lord. Uh, this is, you know, like, yes, I made the song, yes, I, I, I sent it to this guy. Um, and also like the Lord orchestrated the opportunity and gave me energy and breath in my lungs to make that song that day. And then I made it two years ago and it just got placed and look at his timing. It came at a time when we really needed a little extra cash to pay rent and to pay rent, and so it.
Speaker 1I just feel like, uh, it's, it's one thing to like work hard and get to the end of the day and go like, cool, I worked hard today, everything else is up to the Lord. And it's another thing to work hard and get to the end of the day and go like, I, I, I didn't do enough because our life isn't perfect yet, and so I got to just keep going, Like that's the trajectory that I had been on and I was feeling really burnt out, shocker, and so it just I feel like the Lord, in his kindness, has been like getting in my business a little bit and being like I've, I've got you and I'm probably not going to plop a million dollars in your lap so that you feel safe for the rest of your life. Uh, but you can. You can have security in me, knowing that I, I've I've got your back and I'm going to take care of you and and you can always lean on me and trust that where your limitations end like I'm doing infinitely more than you can imagine.
Bonding Over Grass and Pickleball
Speaker 1So, um, sorry, that's kind of a a random tangent, but I just I feel like I liked it it's, it's something that, uh, some of us have to learn that lesson the hard way, and I feel like I was. It took it, took me getting to a point where I was feeling pretty burnt out to be like, oh man, like I. I have to remember that God is the provider. He, he is my sustainer and I I can't do any of this without him. He gives me the breath of my lungs when I wake up in the morning to, uh, you know, make breakfast, even like before I even start my day. So, um, you know what, what a what a gift to be able to know that he's, he's, taking care of me.
Speaker 2A daggum American dream man. It'll get you every time. Every time bro, you got the white picket fence yet, bro.
Speaker 1Oh yeah, no, you know, we're renting're renting, so we we don't have a lot of control of our fence right now. We do have a. We do have a solid backyard though, which is pretty great dude.
Speaker 2I just planted some grass. By I just planted, I mean I hired a guy to plant some grass because landscaping is primarily his favorite thing on planet earth. And let me tell you what it is so satisfying to just watch the grass grow in your backyard. Oh yeah, man, I didn't expect to get the sort of satisfaction that I got. And it rained a couple days and every day it's been raining. I've been like let's go Incredible.
Speaker 1That's the best.
Speaker 2There's a little bit of grass in my backyard. Watch out, boys. I'm so happy we're on the come up that's awesome.
Speaker 1You're gonna be out there with a little kiddie pool on your grass this summer, just like oh yeah good life, man. That's awesome, just so just is it patchy?
Speaker 2yes, is there grass though?
Speaker 1yes, is it your grass?
Speaker 2yes, it is my person, me and my wife's grass. I'll give her half. Yeah, there you go. Even though I hired the guy to plant the grass I love it.
Speaker 1That's awesome. Well, congratulations on your grass. You go Bermuda. What'd you pick?
Speaker 2Dude, I was actually going the contractor's mix and then the guy was like they were out of that. So I actually got you the fescue and I was like okay fancy. I don't know anything about grass me either, like those are his words, so shout out to I don't even know his name. I have him in my phone as the grass guy. So amazing.
Speaker 1You try your best dude, but it's a whole market apparently. I saw this interview with tiger woods where he was like, yeah, when I'm playing on bermuda, I like to. Yeah, when I'm playing on Bermuda, I like to do this. And when I'm playing on blah blah, blah, I like to do this with Mike. And I was like dude, I'd like.
Speaker 2No way, yeah Crazy, I guess if you're that good, it takes a second Like yeah, you actually have to look at the grass.
Speaker 1Yes, yeah, like you actually have to look at the grass. Yes, yeah, I guess if you're Tiger Woods, that makes sense.
Speaker 2But for the rest of us, yeah, we'll go with what. Grass Eye says Can I hit a ball with a golf club? If I can, I'm doing good, like, if I can actually swing and hit it, I'm doing good.
Speaker 1Yes, oh my gosh. I picked up golf last summer because I'm 30 now and that's what you got to do, and you got to do it, that or pickleball. I want to pickleball train oh, dude, pickleball is so fun. Um, pickleball is also one of those things that you can be like really good at, like weirdly good at yeah, disgustingly good there I'm being like, literally I'm losing to old ladies and it's a problem.
Speaker 1I'm trying, but it's crazy man, me and my buddy, because you know, especially out here in Washington supposedly Pickleball was founded in Washington, so it's a, it's a big deal out here and me and my buddy entered like a tournament through our church. There were like 150 people who signed up and so it was like double elimination and but we only got to play to five because there's so many people and I I think everyone else in the tournament like plays tournaments every week or something, because, like you know, I, I, I don't think I'm like a, an athlete, but like I can hang most of the time, like I'm not going to be the MVP but I can be, like I can contribute. And so I was like, yeah, it is pickleball, like let's go, like we can, we can make some progress in this tournament. We didn't score a single point. We went out like the other team got to five before I could catch my breath and like then it was like, okay, I guess we go home now.
Speaker 2It was so underwhelming yeah, welcome to pickleball man there's. Yep, I'm telling you there, anybody that's kind of in the retirement stage, absolutely play like five times a week and they will toast you that.
Speaker 1That's all I'm saying.
Speaker 2Incredible, that's amazing.
Speaker 1Have you figured out your curve on it yet?
Speaker 2I've been playing for like a year, so I've been Okay. I'm not great, but I'm like, okay, I would put myself in the good category. Not great, not advanced, insane, yeah, but I'm getting to where it's like, okay, I can beat some people I've lost. Okay, I can beat some people I've lost, but I can. I can beat some people every now and again, but that's every now and again. You get the old lady that just comes up and you're not expecting it and she just whips it for no reason that's crazy man.
Speaker 1That's one thing that I love about, uh, actually, both pickleball and golf is that they're like multi-generational sports. I think that's so fun, like I don't know. The idea that you could like see three generations like all golfing together or all playing pickleball together is like very cool.
Speaker 2Yeah, and you know that you could play it for the rest of your life Totally, which is kind of a W, because you don't want to just learn a thing and use it for like a year. For sure, I think pickleball is going to stay around, which is fun.
Speaker 1Yes, I think so too. I've heard that there are like a lot of people are thinking that it's going to be like the next big sport, thinking that it's going to be like the next big sport, like, uh, people are buying teams and stuff and uh, thinking it's going to be like a pro level huge deal, which would be, yeah, I think that would be very fun.
Speaker 2I would watch that for sure yeah, they, they stream it somewhere I yes, I was watching a pickleball game the other day and I was just it first of all, not great to watch, just in case you're wondering. Yeah, but it was just like what the heck we're streaming? We're literally hitting what? Hitting wiffle balls with ping pong paddles like this is not.
Speaker 2Oh my gosh this is not an elite sport. I don't care what anybody says like this is not, this is not basketball, this is not basketball, this is we're hitting, you know, wiffle balls with ping pong paddles. But I want to get back to you said you said this just in passing, but it was pretty interesting you said, since I've turned 30, you know, basically you've some things you thought you believe. You realize you didn't really believe. What are some of those specific things?
Speaker 1if you don't mind me asking yeah, um, I mean, I, I think what I was just talking about with like, um, like really trusting that, like god provides and that he's got me, I think, um, how do I want to say this? It's's not that I was realizing, oh, I, I don't believe this. It's more that I was realizing that I wasn't living like. I believed it. Uh, like, like, I think, if anyone had asked me, I think I genuinely, honestly, would have said yes, I believe that, uh, and I don't think that would have been you know what I'm saying Like I, I, I think if I took an honest inventory of myself, I don't think it would have been like well, I'm just giving the right answer. I think I would have said like, no, I, I believe that, um, but I just was wrestling with it.
Speaker 1Like the last couple of years, uh, there's been a lot of tough stuff, like, uh, uh, my wife's had a really hard time finding a job, um, through no fault of her own, just circumstances. Um, we've had, uh, a lot of transition. We've had, like, music stuff. There's been a lot of really rewarding things and a lot of just like asking questions and being like god, why, why is this happening? Um, even like you know the split with the label uh, like, ultimately it was what was best for both of us, but it was still really hard to go from a whole team to no team and, um, there have just been a lot of things that has felt like, uh, without getting into too many details, just kind of adding to a sense of like feeling like the world's stacked or the deck stacked against you a little bit, or it's you against the world. Um, and I, you know, both my wife and I have have done our fair share of therapy and you know if anyone listening has done that, you know that's a butt kicker, kicker and it can make everything else feel more exhausting. And so I think over the last couple years I would definitely have said, yeah, I believe God's good, god's good, but I think there was a piece of me that felt like maybe he's actually withholding or maybe he's actually not as kind as I've been told he is. I think there were some conflicting beliefs that were lingering just because we had a rough couple. My wife and I were good. Our relationship has been wonderful, she's incredible. But I just think the things we walked through together, it's just been, there's been a lot and so, uh, but I, I feel like even though we're not in a place now where it's like wow, like you know, we have no worries and everything has been solved Like there's still stuff we're figuring out, there's still things that are lingering, but I feel like I have seen not even I feel like, like I know that the Lord has drawn close to me or drawn me close to him in some of these seasons in ways that are hard to describe.
Speaker 1I'll tell you one story as an example. I played a show recently for, like a youth group out here in Washington and you know there were probably 150, 200 kids there. It wasn't a huge show, but I love that size. It was really fun. We had a great, great time.
Speaker 1Um, and I find myself, I think it's easy, as a like person who likes to be prepared and likes to know what the next thing is, it's easy to get kind of fixated on, well, what's this building to like? What am I? Uh, you know, I, I want this to like be at a point where it feels like, okay, my wife and I can really like uh, plan for the future and we're going to be taken care of. And you know, it's just the safety, security, instinct of like, being a, being an independent musician is a high risk career and uh, and it's easy to fall into this, thinking that, like, like, what I'm desiring is for that to move to a place where it's a low risk career and the only way to do that is by blowing up or however. You know I'm doing air quotes, however you want to define that. And so sometimes I'll finish a show or I'll finish a song or I'll pitch something or whatever, and just kind of running in my mind is, like it, how is this moving the needle towards, uh, you know, a low risk, a low risk, a low risk, secure career?
Speaker 1And I felt like the Lord said to me uh, after that show, I felt like he said I've been waiting for you to mean it. And I know that it was the Lord because the way that I heard that phrase um, like anyone listening to this podcast, you might hear that and be like, wow, what a guilt, trippy thing to say um, and that's. That's not at all how I interpreted it, which is how I know that it wasn't my own voice, because, uh, my self-talk around this stuff has been fairly negative and I've been working on it, but, uh, my initial thoughts are usually not like hopeful or like encouraging or whatever. I've got my own stuff to work through. The way I heard that phrase was like I felt like the Lord was saying the stuff you're singing about every night, when you sing a chorus of a worship song, you tell your testimony and you share how good I am testimony and you share how good I am that is available to you on stage and off stage all the time. That level of Okay, let me back up.
Speaker 1I felt like what he was saying was for your job. You're getting up on stage and you're talking about me for the benefit of these people who are in the room and the things you were saying, that you were going. This is true for you, is true for Isaac too. It's true. You don't have to just go there and do the work and do the right thing so that the youth group kids can have their moment. That can be for you too. You can talk to yourself in those moments, because those things are true for you too and it's so easy.
Speaker 1I think when you're uh, in any sort of Christian space or when your work is has any kind of outward ministry or platform like we were talking about. It's so easy to feel like you can. You can kind of get so fixated on um, like curating something for someone else, that you can get fall into just the rhythms of like just doing the thing and and just focusing on um, on other people, I guess. And so I just felt like the Lord was saying whatever's next, whatever amount of success you have as a musician, you get to go into it knowing that the things you're singing about are true for you, not just true for some other people. And I think I spent a lot of my 20s going.
Speaker 1I feel like I see the goodness of God in other people's lives and not in mine as much. And I felt like in that moment the Lord was like I have been taking care of you for so long, like I have been taking care of you for so long and and and all the all of my promises are just as true for you as they are for anyone else. Um, I think what I'm describing is like some imposter syndrome really. Um, but in like at a faith level going like I I don't know if, if I'm, if I've believed things the right way, or if I'm as good of a Christian as my buddy over here or whatever, and I just felt like the Lord stepped in and kind of like a moment of me wondering, and he was just like this is true for you, this is for you and you don't need to question that. You can just lean into it and that's going to be a different kind of fuel.
Speaker 1And so that was only a few months ago, but I feel like since then, I've I've, you know, have my moments for sure, but I feel like it's been this really cool thing to go back to you to be like, wow, like God really cares about me and he really is good enough to remind me of that, like, uh, like it's one thing to be good, it's another thing to know that, like, uh, he's even going the extra mile to like remind me. Like his goodness is plenty for me to affirm like, yes, god, you're good, and because I'm a person and I get so tangled up in my mind, he even will go the extra mile and be like, hey, hey, you come on like, this is true for you, this is true for you, you can step into this, you can accept this and it. It is a game changer.
Speaker 2It's crazy yeah, that's awesome, man. So, yes, what are you doing next?
Speaker 1yeah, no, I appreciate it. Uh, yeah, next up, I've got uh on june 28th. I want to say is that a friday? Yes, uh, wait, hang on, let me look. Okay, yes, sorry, okay, what's coming up next on june?
Speaker 2on uh so perfect cut so polished.
Speaker 1Yeah, cut it right there. Um, no, I'm just kidding. No, you can leave all that in if you want. On uh, on june 28th, I've got a new song coming out with my buddy, matt mogg. It's called 10 feet the. The hook is I've been feeling 10 feet tall. It's just like a good feel good summer song, kind of about gratitude, like what we've been talking about today. So I'm stoked for it. Matt's a super talented up and comer out here in Seattle, so it was fun to work on something in the studio with him. And then I've just I've got a lot more music that I've been cooking up just trying to get it right. So, um, yeah. So 10 feet is the first single, but there'll be. There'll be more singles coming in the in the summer and in the fall, hopefully Awesome.
Speaker 2Well, thank you so much, man. That was an absolute blast. Had a great time.
Speaker 1Appreciate you, man. Thank you so much for having me. Seriously, it's a compliment to me to be able to come back so thank you Absolutely, man.
Speaker 2Loved having you. Thanks for listening to the Across the Counter podcast. If you enjoyed the show, please rate us five stars wherever you got this podcast. Thanks y'all.