But we're talking about that 18 to 24 month old or that 20 to 30 month old, that window, those first three years are so vulnerable. especially if you think that your child is slow to talk or that they're somehow not putting the pieces together. look at their level of engagement, their interest. in communication with others and being present with others. It doesn't have to be verbal yet, but we do want noisy noise makers for as a two year old, right? They might not be understood, but we want them to make animal sounds and to make environmental sounds and to try to imitate us. That's key. Hello, and welcome to Talking Toddlers, where I share more than just tips and tricks on how to reduce tantrums or build your toddler's vocabulary. We're going to cover all of that, but here, our goal is to develop clarity. Because in this modern world, it's truly overwhelming. This podcast is about empowering moms to know the difference between fact and fiction, to never give up, to tap into everyday activities so your child stays on track. He's not falling behind. He's thriving through your guidance. We know that true learning starts at home. So let's get started. Hello, and welcome back. In this episode, I want to answer several questions that continue to pop up. And I'm actually delighted that listeners, you are taking advantage to reaching out to me directly via my email or personal DMs through Instagram. Because of that, I've actually created a special email address that will take your direct questions. And that would be contact at higherlearning. com That's HyerLearning, my last name, H Y E R Learning. com, and you can send an email with, a couple of quick questions to just get the ball rolling if you would like personal feedback. And... If by chance you did send me an email in the last four or five months and I didn't get a chance to respond, perhaps it got lost in spam or there was an oversight we're cleaning it out. So please write an email to contact at higher learning dot com for specific questions. With that, I'm going to take, a broad perspective today for that 18 to 24 month old who appears to you, mom, dad, grandparents to be a slow to talk. toddler, right? Or perhaps you've already chatted with your pediatrician and they're beginning to suggest one of two things, either get an evaluation. Maybe at your 18 month checkup, you had specific questions for your pediatrician and they said, sure, go ahead, get an evaluation. I think unfortunately, most pediatricians are unaware at the wait list. So I will talk about the pros and cons about taking that path or your pediatrician could have said, unfortunately, wait and see, give them a little bit more time. Every kid is a little bit different, blah, blah, blah. But either way, I want to share what I've learned over these years of what to 16, 18, 20, 24 months. And you're feeling like He's falling behind, or there's a gap between what you think he should be doing, or his potential, and his verbal expression, mostly, with that, if you decide to take an evaluation route, which I always say yes, because who knows, it's just more information for you to decipher and part of your decision making process for your child. more likely you'll be on a waiting list. And so 10, 12. or more months before you actually get in to see someone. And I'm telling you this just with honest transparency, because you have two tracks. If you're interested in getting an evaluation, you can take the state agency route, which means every single state here in the United States. has a quote unquote free process that you can take your 0 to 3 year old, right? Those first 36 months for early intervention if you think there's a developmental delay. You do not, and I repeat, you do not need a pediatrician's referral. You can just pick up the phone and call your state agency. you can't go through the public school system until your child hits his or her third birthday. Please keep in mind that if you decide to go through the state agency, every state kind of calls it something different. usually the first step will be a consultation with a special educator or an early child development specialist who most likely has a bachelor's degree. Typically, nine times out of ten, they will not send a speech language pathologist out for an evaluation until you. consultation process. So again, that's just a little bit of the layering they have in their system, right? And I tell you this is because that takes time. So if you have an 18 month or a 20 month old and you're concerned, and you make that call and you start those steps, it will take time. And so I'm just giving you a heads up so, so that you know, because my purpose here on this channel and all of my work going forward, but especially this particular episode, what can you do in the meantime? What should you do in the meantime? And, because you might six months from now, your child might. close that gap or you might have realized that he was right on the verge of a speech language explosion and you don't need that evaluation and you simply just cancel it. The other option is you could take a route, you could call around for referrals, look on the internet, please, you know, ask for referrals, get a feel when you call that office of what kind of vibe they have and if it aligns with your family and, and all of that, because just like in anything there are, there are good and bad or better and not so good, different private practitioners as well. So. Just keep in mind, they too, the private offices, will often have a waiting list and it could be several months up to a year or a year and a half. I know that that's how it is looking. That's how it was before the COVID lockdowns and now you're in the thick of it. post COVID. And so the wait list is even longer. unfortunately, I'm kind of your truth teller trying to let you know what it's like, but there's no harm in getting on somebody's wait list. And then you changing your mind three months, six months, 10 months down the line, or perhaps another opening. at another site opens up. So you have those those paths that you can explore. and you know, just a side note, I want you to know that speech language pathologist, there's always been a shortage there. This seems like in the hospital setting, the schools, private practitioners and at the state agencies were always been understaffed and many, many therapists, OTs and speech mostly have kind of shifted their work environment because COVID was very. Tiring, taxing and hard for service providers to do the right thing when we know, the lockdowns and the masks and the limitations. And so now there seems to be even more of a shortage. So again, I'm just kind of shedding the light on the facts of what you mom, dad, grandparents have to navigate. Um, so with that in mind, I want to talk about some specific things that you can do at home. And this is when someone reaches out to me through email or DM, I try to ask some specific questions and peel back the layers. And so I want you guys to be the investigators. I want you to understand where is my child exactly. It's not always about how many words can they say, right? Is it five words or 10 words or 50 words? But it's all the other subtle nuances that have to be developed over time through your child's life experience with you. with that, I understand that it's not necessarily easy being a parent of a baby or a toddler. There's so many things that feel overwhelming and uncertain and having these hard conversations about what can I do differently as a mom or as a dad or as a grandparent, as a family unit or an extended family unit is, is very personal. And so my purpose here is to kind of lay down the options and you pick and choose where you want to. to upgrade your parenting skills or to modify what you're focusing on today when he's 18 months, which is going to be very different than what you focus on when he's three years of age, right? And so my hope is that you really understand the powerful position that you're in and how you can shift to help. Foster and really reinforce his early speech and language. And it starts with two main pillars. And that's what I'm going to focus on today, that the level of connection and engagement that your, your baby and toddler has with you and then with others, and then for you to really be. A good analyzer of where his or her play skills are because that is the window into what's going on developmentally at the cognitive level and the emotional level, the language, the linguistic level of how does he. Understand, and how is he expressing himself non verbally, because I've said this time and time again, and I'll continue, it's really important that we understand the precursors of non verbal communication, the 16 gestures by 16 months, Early turn taking, the early imitation through actions and gestures, and all of that has to be really, really solid before that explosion of single words and simple phrases. So single words start around 12 months, 14 months, then by the time they're 18 months, they should have 10, 20, 50 words. By the time they're 24 months, they could. Have closer to a couple of hundred words and really start putting words together for phrases And and true concept building so a lot happens in those 24 months, but that verbal communication is a byproduct of how well they understand and how they learn is through everyday experiences with you from changing to eating to going about your errands and one to one playtime with you. And that's what we're going to talk about today. And I've mentioned in other episodes, specific stages of play, and I will continue to pull. And highlight. stages and talk more in depth in them, but today I want you, if you're a mom or a grandparent or a dad and you're looking at your 20 month old or 24 month old and I want you to watch them play and really take note of what are they doing with you and what are they doing by themselves. Because at this stage, they should be at what we call early symbolic play, as well as beginning to combine symbolic plays. they should do this frequently. Which means that they would pretend to mix something in a bowl, right, with a plastic spoon. Or they'll pretend to drink from a cup. Rock their teddy bear to go to sleep at night. They'll talk to you on a phone and it doesn't have to be a play phone. It could be a shoe or a block, right? That they're using some object in their environment that they can have managed and play and hold with, and they're beginning to use that to represent their, their intent, their action, because ultimately that's what spoken language is, is a representation of our feelings or our desires or our thoughts or our needs, or, you know, we label things with vocal. speech patterns. Well, gestures and actions are a precursor to that. And so we as the adults with these babies and toddlers need to support that nonverbal communication and help them because that really biologically drives that verbal communication. And so if you have a child who still is Delayed in their, their play, say they're not at early symbolic, which is the stage four, say they're still doing more functional play, which is closer to that 12 to 15 month old and functional play would be a lot of trial and error that they're still trying to figure out the puzzles right there. And it could be an easy puzzle, but they're still Working on that visual, motor, and auditory integration, say they're still trying to just explore with objects, what happens if I turn this button or this knob, or they're looking at things and mouthing them still, those are younger developing things. So, um, yeah. play skills. And so you meet them where they are. And, the more you can help them push along this early symbolic play it where you sit down. I can't tell you how many times, you know, I've had a 16 month old. I sat down in their high chair. I sat at a table with them or side by side in a chair, and we've. Just practice for 10 15 minutes taking turns stirring in a bowl and feeding each other or feeding the teddy bear next to us or pretending to gulp the drink and he would look at me and laugh and then after many, many trials, he would start to imitate me and that's the key is that they need a lot of modeling If it's not coming naturally or for whatever reason, they're just not exploring enough. They need that, that quiet one to one with you. And it could be five minutes here, 10 minutes here, 20 minutes here. depending on the context, depending on what you're doing to snatch those opportunities on a daily basis. And one of the things that I often do because I like lists and I like to organize and, and I'm a planner. That's kind of my, my left hemisphere working, but it's, it's also, you know, I'm an analyst. I like to look at what's happening and how can I do it differently, right? And so. When we're looking at an 18 to 24 month old toddler, we know that they typically, a healthy routine would be that they sleep 12 to 14 hours. And that's 10 to 12 hours at night, depending on your lifestyle. And where they are and one to two hour nap, right? So we have this window, say he gets up at 6am and then he won't take a nap until one. And so you have that seven hour window, how are you going to structure that? It doesn't mean that you have to sit down and play with them for those seven hours. But, you can use the everyday things that you have to do, right? Change him, bathe him, feed him, you know, wipe his hands, um, you can go about your day doing your errands or things around the house that you can pull him in. But also, where and when and how can you Find those quiet times when there's no background, there's no TV, there's no music, that's just you guys. Think of what a therapist would do in her little private therapy room, right? And I've shared with you before, I've always had a one way mirror, so parents always got to watch me. Be present, right? In my three Ps, to be present, to be purposeful. And then to be playful, right? So you don't just have a hundred different toys that you can just run amok in. You take out the farm set and you say, okay, let's play with these farm animals. Let's, you know, you have a barn and maybe you have one truck and you have the basic farm animals. That's all you need to start with when you have an 18 month old or a 20 month old. And there's a hundred if not a thousand different things that you could do in ten minutes or fifteen minutes or twenty minutes just with that. But if he's in his high chair. Pushed into the table and you have this flat surface and you're face to face, your eye to eye, he's engaged with you. And you can bring that cow up to your mouth and you can say, Moo. And he can watch your mouth as he looks at the cow and look at your eyes and put it all together. And that's what he needs. He needs a lot of modeling. And you need to be purposeful and playful to get his attention. And he's like, Hmm, this sounds interesting. Hmm. Mommy doesn't, you know, mommy's not too serious right now. This is kind of fun. I can jump in. I can listen some more and maybe I can begin to imitate her, but animal sounds and. Car noises and environmental sounds like the siren or a horn honking or a choo choo train blowing. All of those are easier to produce than real words. Like if you say, oh, it's table, table or bed or ladder or slide. All of those things are a little bit more concrete, a little bit more Forced. But if we're in this play active engagement and we're just playing with some farm animals, then he or she is going to be a lot more open and receptive to engaging with you. And it's auditorily more interesting. You're having fun and then giving them time to process it. And that white noise... And then maybe they'll follow along, right? And so, that's the idea, is, is to really be mindful of, okay, here's Monday through Friday. I'm a stay at home mom. And in a future episode, I'm going to talk about very candidly the pros and cons about stay at home moms and what daycares have become over the last two to three decades and how can we shape those first few years up to that third birthday to make sure that they're on track, they're thriving, they're happy, they're becoming an engaged family member with you and that you're creating the family, the rhythm, the vibe that you always dreamed of and it's exhausting, it's tiring, it's overwhelming, it's scary. But it's very doable if you look at it very pragmatically. How do we as human beings learn to engage, learn to attend, learn to communicate and share and turn take and process? How do we wire the brain to do that? What are the best methods and how can you cut up your day or structure your day to, to, so your needs are met and your baby's needs are met, right? So, in a previous episode, I think it's way back in the very beginning actually, back in May of 2022, episodes 2 and 3, I actually spoke in depth more on how we know a child is developmentally ready to talk, and when we say talk, we're talking using real words, right? They could be approximated, but they're speech sounds that are strung together on purpose to represent whether it's a doggie or your favorite blanket or to go in the car or your, or whatever the item that your, your son or daughter is starting to use as their first 10 words, right? But there's a whole list of 10 different Steps, and I'm just going to run through a couple of them quickly right here. You can go back and listen to the longer, more in depth episodes, but it's, it's about that engagement, right? Responding to people, beginning to, to take turns, and then there's that attention span that is. developing and beginning to share. If they coo, you coo, they coo, you coo. You play peekaboo. That's why you, we play these games to build their attention span and their joint interest with us, right? And it's beginning to shift from if we're playing with these farm animals. Together, and then he looks at me when I make a funny farm animal sound or if I ask a question like, Hmm, Hey honey, where does the chicken sleep? Where is he going to sleep tonight? And you know, give him that little white noise and you can even point to the barn. Does he sleep inside here? Do chickens go inside? Maybe it's a chicken coop, you know, and the cow sleeps in the barn. Whatever it is, you can pose these thoughtful statements or these inquiries and help him learn how to contemplate, learn how to think in playtime. Right? But, but that, that's a precursor that we're building these longer attention spans. And we're going from a couple of minutes to five, six, eight minutes to 10, 15 minutes, right? Whether it's playing with a simple toy, looking at a book, or just sharing a meal together or a snack together. To understand, step back and watch him play with a variety of toys appropriately. And that's where that beginning of the symbolic play is. is emerging, right? That he's not just looking at toys, or dumping toys, or lining toys up, or he's not just opening and closing cupboards. A 16 month old might do that, but 18 20 month old, they're really, they might open up the cover and put your shoes in there, or they might, take everything out of the drawer and then put it all back in, They're exploring it, but then when it comes to toys, whether it's play dishes, or sand toys, or a wagon, or blocks, that they're, they're doing it with purpose, that they've had enough experience for the last 18, 20 months. That they understand that a lot of these things represent real things, right? Real animals. Maybe you've taken them to a local farm. Maybe he's, ridden in a wagon at a playground and so his little red wagon at home he can represent and because all of these Play events, again, are symbolic representations of what's going on inside his mind. Just like later on, this verbal communication will be a symbolic representation of how he feels or what he wants or what he thinks or what he's trying to get from you, right? but the other big piece, and I think a lot of families, Misunderstand this section there's a misconnect because we are so used to doing things for them or helping them and showing them through our nonverbal communication that they We don't realize how much we're leading the charge. And so we have to practice just using our words and letting them figure it out. Right? Without pointing or without gesturing or without leading them to the next thing. it's part of helping them understand that they have to do their part, that they're part of this communication dyad, right? And it's, it's not always verbal, but it could be gesturally, right? And actions are part of that. And we know that those 16 gestures by 16 months, we know their ability to imitate. Our actions really set them up for that word explosion by the time they're 16, 18, 20 months. That if we can get the play and the actions lined up, then they're ready for the next big chapter, right? And so, to help your toddler and your preschooler, quote, do their part, you can set... In everyday situations, set it up so that they are an active participant. So, for example, if you change their clothes or change their diaper, you can say, Hmm, hey Joey, can you throw this diaper away? Or, where do your dirty socks go? Right? Or if the cup is empty, they finished dinner and their, their water cup is empty and you say, okay, where does the cup go? And if he's not quite sure, and if he's not speaking yet, you can say, put it in the sink. We're all done. It's dirty. It goes in the sink, right? You can do that fill in the blank strategy. Or before you're leaving the house, you can say, Hmm, what do we need? We're going to go outside. you can say, can you get your shoes and your coat and maybe without the gestures, without looking at them and you're just asking them and, pulling them in to the activity through language and through action. Right? or when it's time to get ready for bath, right? We need a washcloth. Where's the washcloth? We need your play toys. Where do we get your bath toys? Or if it's time to clean up, you can say, Hey, can you pick up the elephant or the dinosaur? Put it in the bag. or when you go to wash his hands and you say, okay, What do you do first? We're going to wash our hands. And without giving him that visual cue of looking at the faucet, you say, turn on the faucet. turn on the faucet. or when you're cleaning up toys, this is always a good one to really be specific and say things like pick up the red ball, put the red ball in the bucket or next, find your truck and your baby doll. you build it and you play with it because a lot of the language and we learned this back in the, even before I went to graduate school, but the studies look in the 1970s and the 80s. Kids are exposed to a wide variety of really simple concrete, and that's why they need that direct one to one with us. And then they have the sophisticated language, right, that they hear. So they're building from the top down that whole rich language, and then from the bottom up the, the basic blocks, right? And so when it's quiet and it's just one... to one and you're in the bathroom or you're on the changing table and you can give them very concrete directions and they can build that with automaticity and clarity, right? or say, okay, um, we're all done with dinner. Go get the rag and wash off the table, you know, and again, without pointing to the rag or without looking and say, we, you have to wash the table. You need the rag. or the sponge or whatever you use. Right? and then easy things like before you're leaving the house, Oh, can you turn off the light? We're going to leave now. Turn off the light. So you're pulling them in and I know life gets really busy and we all rush, rush, rush. And we do it for them because we're thinking he's 18 months. What the heck does he know? But if we don't Slowly, but surely pull them in to the everyday life rhythm, then they tune us out. They don't pay attention. We're talking, talking, talking, or we're disengaged, right? And so we have to constantly be mindful of how much am I engaging with him? You know, you're holding him, you're standing outside your car door and you're like, Hmm, what do I need to do? You knock on the door, open up, open, open, you know, and you're just pulling them into that moment. So they're attending to you, they're listening to you, and maybe they'll start to imitate you. Right? And that, that doesn't take, a lot of structure, right? We want that structure one to one time where he's sitting in the high chair and you can play with the farms or if you have a kid's table and you're physically comfortable to get down on the floor or you get on your knees and you play at the coffee table. There's a lot of arrangements that you can make but it We do need to be eye to eye with them, so bring them up to the high chair if say you have a low back problem or your knee hurts or you're just too tired to sit on the floor, or you, you get on the floor and you play with them but then. In the day to day activities of making your meals and running on your errands and getting out the door and doing the bath, brushing the teeth, pull them in with language, pull them in and see if they can start to do their part and build that dyad of communication, right? So what we say as speech therapists is that we tell them. Give them that auditory representation, tell them, then we can show them, and then we can help them. So that's kind of the hierarchy. We want kind of the least restrictive, right? So we tell them, Hey, what do you need when we go outside? Or, Go get your coat without looking at your coat, right? And those are two different, that's a whole language question. Like, what do we need when we go outside? That's a big concept versus go get your coat. We're going to go outside, honey. Right? And that's a specific directive without pointing to your coat, right? But he might notice that you're getting your coat on. So he's putting two to two together, but use the language to represent what you want. So you tell them. Show them and then help them if they can't do it on their own. Right? Hey there, Mom. I just wanted to jump in and ask a big favor. If you're gaining benefit from these episodes, please consider leaving me a review. It's the only way I can expand my reach and find moms and dads and grandparents just like yourself. I'd be so grateful. I'll leave a link down below in the description to save you an extra step. Let's get back to today's episode. So, back to, is my child developmentally ready to talk, to use words, spoken words? So, we talked about playing with toys appropriately and then understanding early words and following simple directions, right? But they also, and I've said this before in previous episodes, they have to be vocal. They have to play with their voice. They have that cooing. They have some babbling. And if they aren't, if they aren't very vocal with their voice, then that's where you start. You don't necessarily focus on those whole true words. You want to get them noisy first, right? And so there are a lot of and you can go back to the animal sounds, right? A lot of play words, a lot of environmental sounds that we could play with in conjunction with the actions and the gestures. So you know, saying shh, shh, shh, or woo, you know, like if you're wondering or if the wind is blowing or if the ghost is howling, all of those. And I have a link actually to play words and sounds, and I'll have this. in the description that you can sign up and get a PDF, even the eating words like the sounds, mmm, this is so yummy, yummy. Or say you taste something and it's yucky and you go, yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck. You know, you accidentally taste something that's wickedly sour or something. or, You're, you're pretending that you're cold. brr, brr, I'm cold, right? Or you're hot. You're panting because you're hot. All of these play words and play sounds are very intriguing. to an 18 month old, or a 20, or a 24, or even a 36 month old. They're all more interesting than just labeling things around the house, or labeling colors, or reciting numbers. All of that will come in time, but we have to get their auditory, their oral motor. They're playing and in touch with their voice and we do that with them through play, through simple engagements of everyday things. And then, if you look at your window and you have that seven hour window between 6 a. m. And 1 p. m. when they take the nap. Find them when they're at the sweet spot, right? Hopefully you're sharing breakfast with them and you're talking with them about that food. And you're enjoying that moment. So there's a good 20 minutes of social communication. Getting them to watch you and chew and bite and talk about the flavors and talk about the colors and talk about where they come. And there's so much rich language around that. I know that it's a lot of effort and it's a lot of conscious parenting, but if we do this for those first few years, then that next chapter is going to be so much smoother. You won't fall into these gaps and these new statistics that I have been sharing with you for the last several weeks that are mind boggling, right? And so if you're worried and you decide that you want to go and get an evaluation, That's totally cool. Know that there's a wait list, but in the meantime, I'm encouraging each and every one of you to step up your game and to really be conscientious and purposeful in your parenting and in your language opportunities with them, right? So, the two areas that you look at are What are their social engagement, their connection, eye contact, smile, social awareness, that it's not fleeting, right? And that he's really beginning to play symbolically with toys. That he's beginning to understand early words and follow simple directions. Like if you're about to brush your teeth and you say, Oh, I need the toothpaste. Where is it? Right? And he looks for it, or he points to the medicine cabinet, or he finds, it on, the shelf, right? and that he's beginning to vocalize purposefully, right? Trying to make some of those animal sounds. the wordplay sounds, right? Like crash, vroom, beep beep, honk, toot toot. All of those lovely nonsense. You and I are like, oh my gosh, this isn't real communication. Yes, it is. Yes, it is. They have to do this. They need those gestures. They need the nonverbal communication. They need the play words. They need to be able to follow simple, simple directions before They talk. Now some kids, you know, are on this beautiful little wave and it all just evolves Right, and you have that chatty Cathy little girl Typically girls, but some chatty boys at by their second birthday and it all just happens naturally For the parents who are unsure or the parents aren't clear of what do I have to do more or less of. The other big thing, and I've talked or I've mentioned this in passing before, but I think as I move forward I will be more explicit with when you spend time with them, when you're eating dinner with them, when you're playing those 10 15 minutes, with the farm animals or with the blocks or with the bubbles, make sure that you are really, really present and that There's nothing distracting you. Your phone isn't beeping on the side. The TV is not in the background. They need to focus on you. And so I'm going to talk now for a moment about something that can be very personal for all of us. And I'm an honest kind of gal and I'm a truth teller and I really want to encourage each and every one of you to not share screens with your baby and your toddler. And, and I've mentioned this before because it becomes an, a slippery slope, in another episode, I'll give you the science behind it and the data and what the outcome is looking like. But here, I want you to understand that. What I just described over the last, 30 or 40 minutes is that human connection, that three dimensional opportunity to hear the human voice, to connect it with the action. to relate it to the emotion, whether you're playing in the bathtub or changing his diaper or digging in the sandbox or playing with the animals, that they're putting it together in real time. So much of my practice and my study over the last 30 years has been looking at the brain development, right? That neuroscience has taught us that the brain is a timing machine. That there's these mechanisms, as we begin to wire, as the neurons begin to wire and sync up. With one another and we build language and we build cognition and understanding and we're able to do it with fluidity, not only with the language, but with the actions, you know, think about, you know, someone learning how to play the piano or, you know, I, I played the violin for whatever, 15 years. It was all about practice and practice in real time, right, and that I understand in this modern world. There's so many distractions and that if you're really motivated for your baby to stay on this developmental well being track, right, to build strong language and motor skills and to be self regulated and happy and independent, right? We want a three year old to be able to relatively get dressed and go to the bathroom and clean himself up and eat, in a restaurant and all of these beautiful things that are easily done. It just takes commitment and time to help him with each and every step. And screens go against everything that I just spent the last half an hour describing, right? it's a flat, Passive, two dimensional kind of mind suck, to be honest, and it really does not serve new brains that are trying to wire and learn how to be a human. And I know that there's a lot of pushback about apps and programs on TV and YouTubes and this and that and, and I can go into detail later about all of that, but we need a What I just described, that 3D, real time, adjust, practice, give that white noise the screen is a poor representation of the human voice to begin with, that we know they don't respond in real time, that it's a visual overload and stimulation, quite often it's an auditory overload and stimulation, and yes, it's true, there are kids. can, learn this word or that word or a series of word or memorize some colors or recite a tune. If you want your child to be a good communicator and attentive and engaged and purposeful and good self regulated child, then the screens are not going to serve them for those first 36 months. And I know that the, American Pediatric Association has kind of pushed it. Originally for a little window, they said minimal to no screens by 36 months, but now they say 24 months, I'm going with, with the initial, but do the best that you can just be careful when you are working with them and you're playing with the farm or you're having sharing a meal and you're trying to teach them about good eating habits and good social communication around a meal and all of this turn off all the background noise make sure that you're in it with them. I cannot stress that enough. And I know it's controversial. I know a lot of parents right now, you're probably shaking your head, but it becomes a slippery slope. Your child is vulnerable, period. The end there, they come into this world under construction. They're not ready for technology, period. I know that's hard to swallow. And I know that, There are kids out there that are put in front of a screen from early age. and there's always going to be, this exception to the rule, but as. mother and a therapist for 35 years, I know the vulnerability and the risks. And that this modern world is really working against you. Against us and that we have to put safeguards on we, secure them in the baby car seat and we put the seat belts on ourselves because we know, I didn't wear seat belts as a kid, back in the 60s, 70s and I survived, but I know a family down the street that they lost two of their five children and their mother in a horrid car accident. And so we know what the chances are. We know the risk factors. And that's what I'm saying about screens. There are too many risks save it for when they're a little bit older and you really need a break and use that mindful. And that's a whole nother conversation, but we're talking about that 18 to 24 month old or that 20 to 30 month old, that window, those first three years are so vulnerable. especially if you think that your child is slow to talk or that they're somehow not putting the pieces together. my focus here today is to look at their level of engagement, their interest. in communication with others and being present with others. It doesn't have to be verbal yet, but we do want noisy noise makers for as a two year old, right? They might not be understood, but we want them to make animal sounds and to make environmental sounds and to try to imitate us. That's key. And then I want you to focus on where are they? in their play skills and because the play skills support that verbal skills. And if they don't yet quite understand the symbolic representation through play and action, then it's going to be hard for them to, for that symbolic representation for verbal communication. I hope this makes sense. And I know I've said this here, there, and everywhere, but I've had several people reach out to me, which I love. Please don't ever stop doing that. And like I said in the beginning, I now have a designated email, and that would be contact at hirelearning. com. My last name, Hyer, H Y E R. or DM me, that's a great way too. So know that we as humans are, designed to wire the human voice, speech and language and that they're looking in real time of how to prune away the language elements that they don't need, right? They're focusing on that native language. And yes, you can have two languages too. And I haven't talked much about that, if you come from a bilingual family, then by all means, show them both languages. that's absolutely, appropriate and healthy and natural, right? As they're wiring their system and they're honing in, they're zoning in on their native language or two languages. they need it in real time, they need it in this 3D world, they need it with you and the primary family members, right? We can talk about the pros and cons to daycare settings, and that has shifted quite a bit in the last 20 years and the utilization of that. And I want to assure all parents, our Perspective of early child development shifted because of the COVID pandemic and the changes in there. And so many families are deciding to keep their babies home as long as possible. And I am a thousand percent supportive of that, and I will explain a little bit more in detail in the future episodes. But with that being said, it's not that you have to quote unquote entertain your baby for those seven hours or four hours at the end of the day. And, and there are many ways that you can break it up. You do need some structure, some routines, babies and toddlers thrive on routines. you can look at your daily and your weekly plan. You can build in some work time. If, you know, if you work, if not, you still have a, whole litany of to do, for the home and your family and your personal well being, right? You can look for, a part time babysitter, grandparents or a nanny, you know, a part time nanny. You can co swap with other parents. There's a lot of different ways that you can break up your weeks so you're not at home 24 7 with your baby and we can talk about how that can look differently, especially, in 2023. That's a different conversation. But I want you also to, to recognize that your baby and you for your health and well being need to get outside every day, no matter what the weather is somehow figure out even if it's on a side porch, if it's pretty crappy, but just to change, change it up, but to get outside, you know, at the park or go to the library, visit friends, go to a swimming pool, do some daily walks, even if it's just, you know, around your block. or go to the backyard or your side yard or, you know, go to a mommy me yoga class, go to a, a local farm or a farmer's market, go to the grocery store, even if it's like for three things, it's an activity, right? It breaks it up. do your errands. Whether you go to Target or Costco or U P s or any of those kinds of things, pull your baby into it and use that as a language rich opportunity. Plan ahead, structure your day, help them build their routines and so, Play doesn't necessarily always mean sitting down and playing, with your little people house or your farm or, or that. It could be just after you finish changing them, you sing a couple of nursery rhymes. Every culture has nursery rhymes. There's a reason for it because it's repetitive, because kids can join in easily. Because it's anticipatory, right? Meaning like, if you always sing the wheels on the bus after you do a changing, or you, sing Old MacDonald taking a bath, All of those things are things that he can get used to, right? That he can anticipate, that he can then participate in, right? And we'll talk more explicitly about how do you use nursery rhymes and songs and whatnot to pull them into that conversation, right? All of those songs also have gestures and hand movements to go along, the itsy bitsy spider and the wheels on the bus and ring around the Rosie. All of those gestures are pulling kids in to becoming engaged with you. And there's a reason every culture has these. I hope this makes sense. That play is so much more than just, throwing some blocks on the floor and say here Go for it. they have to be shown how to engage. of course, when they're 12 months old or 14 months, they'll still be exploring and putting things here, there and everywhere and figuring it out. But as they reach that 16, 17, 18 month, they will then hopefully be more symbolic with it and that they've lived enough life with you and the family that they understand that even if it's just Tupperware and, some plastic spoons that they can engage with that and start To represent what they've learned in this world, and that's key. So before we can expect them, and I'm sorry to say that many, many speech language pathologists will, look at a two year old and say, okay, let's get out the cards and let's drill or let's, see if you can repeat after me say meow. Meow. And even that pushing that imitation isn't necessarily going to serve them because that's above their developmental stage right? It's, it's above where they are naturally. We meet them where they are and we support them step by step, right? throughout your day, it can weave from concrete one to one, let's put this block together, or let's put this puzzle together to more open ended, oh, let's have this sweet potatoes and chicken and let's, talk about how it feels in our mouth. And when we go to the grocery store, we might have to buy more sweet potatoes because now we're all. Done. And so that's that whole rich language. And so I hope this makes sense of how you can use those 10 hours of waking time with your baby and be purposeful and at the same time pull them in. And the more you give them opportunities to watch you interact and play with things, then you can set them and say, here you make, your Whatever, give him some Play Doh or something here. You make some cookies over here while mama really, grills up the hamburgers or you know makes a phone call or or this or that, they will then build that internal Clock take five minutes or ten minutes or fifteen minutes to engage with these toys that you have purposefully and with intention because they practiced So, I love, as you know, talking about this stuff, and I hope this is really resonating with you all. And please, if you have specific questions, don't be shy. You can reach out, as I said, in that email. Contact at higherlearning. com and... if you would be so kind to write a positive review, because we all know that that's the best way to reach more like minded moms and grandparents and primary caretakers like yourself. those, positive reviews help the algorithm push out to a larger community. that would be very much appreciated. And until next week, remember, play, eat, and talk with your babies every single day. Alright, God bless. See you later.