What Builds Your Baby’s Brain? 10 Essentials That Matter Most Ep 123

What does your baby really need to grow a healthy brain and body? 

Spoiler: it’s not the latest gadgets or registry “must-haves.”

In this episode of Talking Toddlers, Erin Hyer — speech-language pathologist, toddler specialist, and mom with over 35 years of experience — shares the 10 essentials every baby needs in the early months and years. From skin-to-skin bonding and baby-wearing to tummy time, outdoor rhythms, and calm sleep, these simple practices shape lifelong development.

Forget the noise. Forget the pressure. 

Here’s what matters most — and why you are your baby’s best environment.

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 Disclaimer

This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult your pediatrician or a qualified health provider with questions about your child’s development or health. The views shared are based on Erin Hyer’s professional experience and are intended to support informed parenting, not to replace individual consultation or care. Every child and family is unique — please use your discretion and consult trusted professionals when making decisions for your child.

📩 Questions: contact@HyerLearning.com
 🌐 www.HyerLearning.com

Transcript

Erin: 0:00

Containers don't build muscles. And we know this through the last three decades as containers have become more and more available. Movement is really where the magic happens. Tummy time isn't something our grandmothers had to schedule, right? 30 years ago most babies, like 98% of them slept on their tummies, and so they naturally spent hours each day in that prone position. That changed because of the Back to Sleep Campaign. But therapists across all of the disciplines, so PTs, OTs, and speech therapists like myself, we began to notice an UNINTENDED consequence, more motor delays in sitting up, rolling, crawling, all of those are big muscle developments, but all of those big muscle movements and strength and stability and disassociation- they all support... Hello and welcome to Talking Toddlers where I share more than just tips and tricks on how to reduce tantrums or build your toddler's vocabulary. We're gonna cover all of that, but here our goal is to develop clarity because in this modern world, it's truly overwhelming. This podcast is about empowering moms to know the difference between fact and fiction, to never give up, to tap into everyday activities, so your child stays on track. He's not falling behind, he's thriving. Through your guidance, we know that true learning starts at home. So let's get started. today's episode is a big one because we're breaking down my top 10 essentials. Every new mom needs, and spoiler alert, they're not the things you'll find on the latest registry or the influencers must have list. In fact, most of what your baby truly needs is well within your reach. It's natural. It's grounded in developmental science and it aligns with how God designed babies to grow through connection. Rhythm and simple presence. Hi friends, and welcome to another episode of Talking Toddlers. I'm Erin Hyer, a speech language pathologist, toddler specialist, and mom with well over 35 years of experience helping families understand what truly supports their child's development and what just kinda adds noise and stress and overwhelm to your life. So if you're feeling tired or unsure, take a breath. This episode will help cut through that clutter, trust your instincts, and focus on what actually matters during these most beautiful, wonderful years. And let's be honest, preparing for a baby. In today's age is more like preparing for a product launch, right? There's gear for feeding and tracking, rocking, bouncing, monitoring, all of it. And there's even stuff you know how to teach your baby before they can sit up and crawl and talk. But here's what we know from neuroscience, biology, and generations of lived wisdom. Babies don't need devices to develop well. They need us. The first three years of life are a critical window for brain development, sensory integration, which is a big one these days. Emotional safety and social communication, and the way that we spend our time, not what we buy or the stuff that we use that lays the foundation for how our children grow. How they spend time with us. So I think you will see a theme in everything I'm about to share here. It's not about gadgets, it's about human connection. And so that starts right here with number one. Skin to skin and daily physical closeness. Skin to skin contact after birth helps regulate a baby's heart, their temperature, their breathing, and their stress hormones. It literally stabilizes their nervous system. And I think quite often we will hear this in those very first days, but it's not just for those first days or first hours. It's beneficial for weeks and months to follow. It also releases oxytocin in Yuma and that beautiful hormone that lowers your stress. It helps boost your milk production, and it strengthens our emotional connection. And let me say this because not enough people are saying it loud enough. I think there's a beauty to me in the bond between mother and baby and in today's world, honestly, there's a lot of noise that makes motherhood feel less than that. Staying home or being fully present is somehow small or replaceable, but it's not. You are not just a mom. You are the one calming their nervous system and building it, setting the rhythm to their world, and offering the kind of security no program or product or other provider can even begin to match this early bond holding. Rocking, responding in real time, that's not extra. It's everything. So skin to skin sets the stage for true trust and regulation. but closeness isn't just for bonding. It also gives you freedom too. And that's where. Number two comes in baby wearing. So it gives freedom for you and security for your baby. So before we had all of these swings and bassinets, we had mothers holding babies, and there are still plenty of cultures around the world that hold their babies for hours on end. And even now the science continues to support this, that it's still the best method. When worn, upright and snug to you, babies receive constant vestibular input, and that's the internal part of our inner ear, which supports balance and body awareness and the gentle sway mimics what they felt in the womb where they were safe and secure. It keeps them engaged in your daily rhythm. Hearing your voice, your movements, finding the flow, but it also gives you freedom. So baby wearing isn't the same as a container culture either. Let's, let's get that. Unlike that kind of bulky structure, carriers that are stiff and hard, and it keeps most babies passive. These soft cloth wraps or slings hold them close to you and they're, it gives them that security. And it's upright, right? It's cozy, but it also is freeing for you and has great, there's a lot of study in it, a great benefits for postpartum recovery. So facing in for your baby is best for bonding and as well as airway safety. A facing out should only be limited when they have really good head control. Right? And, and you should be a little bit more careful of that. But that's, that's a timing thing. And you learn over time how to adjust your baby. So instead, I find, instead of relying on swaddles or swings and all of those containers, use baby wearing as your go-to during your, your errands or. Especially during fussy spells. If you have an older child, all of the sibling care, it really builds that connection. So that was number two. Now, if closeness builds security, like I just said, then movement. Builds strength, which is why number three, tummy time and floor time is also on this essential list. And I think that this is a big one, and I want every mom to hear this loud and clear. Containers don't build muscles. And, and we know this through the last three decades, as containers have become more and more available, not that they're the best choice, it's just a marketing gimmick, right? But movement is really where. The magic happens. Tummy time isn't something our grandmothers had to schedule, right? 30 years ago, most babies, like 98% of them slept on their tummies, and so they naturally spent hours each day in that prone position. That changed because of the Back to Sleep campaign, which I'm sure you've heard of, and that went into effect because they, they. Studied and felt that there was a correlation with sleeping on your tummies and sids, and so the numbers did suggest that there was about a 50% reduction in sids, which is remarkable and glorious. But therapists across all of the disciplines, so PTs, OTs, and speech therapists like myself, we began to notice an unintended consequence, more motor delays in sitting up. Rolling, crawling, and all of those are big muscle developments, but all of those big muscle movements and strength and stability and disa, asso, disassociation, they all support. Fine motor skills for speech and chewing and eating and talking, and they're all interwoven. So we started to look, you know, are they always long-term delays? That was hard to measure and it's sometimes hard to dig deep enough to understand where the cause the etiology was. But we do recognize that they are missed opportunities during. The very months when brains and bodies are primed for strength and coordination, building and enhancement. So the truth is where we are today, some parents are reexamining these recommendations and I've talked with a number of moms in the recent months whose baby simply. Could not sleep on their backs. So many chose to implement a safeguards that really, gave mom and dad comfort that their baby was healthy during sleep. Right? And so they, you know, make sure that they have room sharing, not necessarily bed sharing. That's a whole different conversation, pros and cons to all of that, but room sharing. Used monitors. They also made sure that the room was cool and dark, which is ideal for all of us to sleep in, not warm, right? And there are no extra blankets or stuffies or any extra things inside the crib that the baby was free from all of that. So now. I do want to take a pause here and acknowledge something. Parents today are right to ask hard questions always, especially when it comes to SIDS and sleeping and what the recommendations are, and then what is really in the best interest of your child. For decades, professionals like me, we've been up close with families navigating. heartbreaking situations. And the truth is we still know very little around sids and we still are guessing a lot of the time of, of what's happening to our children And much of what's been published is based on association, not causation, and that includes ongoing conversations about whether the timing of vaccines may or may not be playing a role here. I assure you, I'm not giving any medical advice. I'm not a medical doctor, and I believe this is an area that does deserve deeper and more meaningful research, but I also believe that parents deserve. To know what questions are being asked and, and what has and has not been studied, and what those studies really do mean.'cause sometimes the methodology, the way the studies are structured aren't really what they're saying. But I say this because I believe in informed decisions for everyone. Right. Whether you're a mom of a new baby or a a mom and dad of a teenager, or US adults trying to navigate every chapter of our life informed decisions, especially around medical care and growth and wellbeing are always best to follow. And there's no perfect answer, but. We need to be open and honest and have these discussions. So here's my encouragement for you. Take in more information, do your own research, ask questions, talk with people you trust, and then decide what works best for your baby and your family, and where you feel comfortable. And no matter what you decide about sleep position, remember this tummy time during wake periods is still crucial for building strength and coordination and all of these sensory skills. That's that foundation. So whether they sleep, sometimes on their tummy and sometimes on their back or whatever tummy time during these wake growth spurts. Is really critical for you to, to schedule in. So here are some practical tips I want to share, aim for a few minutes at least. I shoot for 2, 3, 5, all the way up to 10 or 15 during every wake window. And make it purposeful. Go face to face, get on the floor, use a, a blanket so it's clean and, and refreshed, or, you know, in the very, very beginning when they're very little on your chest is enough. But the idea is that we need firm surfaces because they need resistance. They need to trigger their muscles and say, oh, you know, it starts to fire from their forearm to their brain. Right. Keep it fun. Get that closeness with them, sing, smile, make funny faces, narrate. And just recently I've demonstrated in my mother's group, because I've done this countless times over the years, but in two separate occasions, the moms were. Sharing that their babies were really fussing. It was hard to do tummy time with them. And I said, and I think these babies, one was two months, one was three months. And I said, well, where and when are you doing it? And the truth was, they were on soft surfaces on the sofa or on the bed. And I'm like, well, that doesn't give them enough resistance. So it, it, it's, it's too smushy for them. And they're not getting feedback. They don't, it's uncomfortable. So right then and there on these two separate occasions, I put these, these babies on the table and I knelt down in front of them and we spent at least 15 minutes and the child was incredibly comfortable and happy, and I. Responsive both to the motor feedback that she was getting off of the hard surface. And then I was distracting her enough that she's like, oh, I'm not uncomfortable. This is cool. Right. And mom and dad, that one case, the dad was there and it was, it was a great win-win and they, and they saw it. Before their very eyes. So they were able to then generalize it at home. and I just feel so often it's the small tweaks that really give us the, the biggest gain. And, and I often look at it this way, early child development is dynamic, right? We learn and then we adjust and we ask questions and we build upon this. So the whole conversation around tummy time and back sleeping and prone position and all of this. We constantly have to be investigating. We constantly have to look at that there aren't going to be absolutes, and that, I don't think it's fear-based by talking about this and by recalibrating. I think that's wisdom. That's what we learn over time. It, it's been, as I said, nearly 30 years since the whole Back to Sleep campaign started, and, and we still don't understand what. SIDS is or is not. So that part of science hasn't been answered. We continually have to explore other areas as well. So just remember, I'm sharing this all, all of these 10 essentials, but especially this one from a developmental perspective. I'm not a medical doctor, so none of this is medical advice. Always talk with your own pediatrician or a trusted healthcare provider that you feel can you can work with for what's best for you and your baby. So we've talked about movement, but babies also need rhythm outside the four walls of your house. And so that's where number four comes in. It's nature because time outside. Isn't optional. I think it's a nutrient, right? And if we look at sunlight, I think it's much more than just vitamin D, which in and of itself is magnificent, But the sun shine itself and the outdoors help regulate circadian rhythms, improves our mood, and calms the nervous system. Babies are meant to be outdoors. The breeze on their face, the shifting of lights, the rustling of leaves, or dogs barking and, and birds chirping, all of it. These are not distractions. They're sensory food for the growing brain. So instead of keeping your baby inside all day, and I know depending on where you live, it gets tricky. Could be hot, could be rainy, could be cold, could be whatever. But I want all of us to aim for at least 15 minutes of some fresh air and ideally morning light because that's especially powerful for setting all of our healthy sleep patterns, yours and mine alike, but especially our innocent new babies who are just. Coming into this world and starting to understand. Right, and I've been sharing a lot about light in other episodes and I guess, you know, at this stage you could kind of say that that's my jam these days. I love looking at how light helps keep us stable and regulated and in the flow. So now let's move on to number five. While sunlight and fresh air shape the nervous system, feeding shapes the internal connection, which then leads me to this next essential element of simple feeding routines that nourish both your baby's body and the relationship that you're building. It is not just nutrition, it's more than calories. It's really comfort and conversation and co-regulation. There's always so much that seems to be percolating under these, these steps that we're trying to master as a new mom. So whether you're. Breastfeeding or bottle feeding or a combo, your baby is learning from your face, your voice, your presence, right? So instead of distracted feeds or rigid schedules, which I see a lot of these days, watch for their cues. Make eye contact, use a lot of social conversations, soft talking with them. Feeding is your baby's very first language lesson. And at night, I, I want to take this and highlight it, right, because I think it's really important at night that we keep it simple and, and I think we get stuck quite often because we need to carry what we've done. The steps in our routine to get them to sleep. And then if you have those, you know, middle of the night waken awakenings, especially if they're still younger, keep the dim lights going, right. Think about the fire light, not the blue light. Move slowly. Stay calm. Sing hum, whisper. And I think moms that really buy into this are often amazed that these tiny tweaks really can bring deeper rest for both you and your baby. And, and as I said earlier, I have a whole episode of how the lights impact us. And here's one more encouragement. Feeding is also where we begin to set the stage for mindful eating. So sometimes we offer, you know, the breast or a bottle when the baby is simply tired or fussy or needing comfort. And we're not quite sure, right? We we're still in that guessing stage, but they're not truly hungry. So comfort has its place. We all know this, but over time, it helps to notice the difference between feeding for nourishment and feeding for soothing. And at night especially, I think that this is misunderstood. The goal is not to get, or I'm sorry, the goal is to get in sync with your baby's natural circadian rhythm, right? That's really what is driving us. It's not about necessarily timing of the feeding. So if you notice that they're just using your breast as a pacifier, then keep those night feedings more purposeful, right? Truly about hunger, while still keeping the rhythm of this calm, quiet, connected feel. I hope that makes sense. That. After the first couple of months, you'll start to see this pattern, and I want you to at least think about it more consciously. Okay, so that was number five. Let's move on. Now that feeding sets the stage for eye contact and language, we talked a little bit about that, and that's exactly why number six is so natural, right? And why it matters to me because human faces need to be over anything with a battery, right? Any flashing toys or electronics of any kind. Even those little toys that you push and they're, they have little jingles or lights or any of that because your baby's best stimulation is you are other humans, not gadgets or devices. Your baby's brain is wired. For faces, not all of this other stuff. And so long before, I think it was Harvard called and started using the term serve and return. We as speech people and early child development specialists, we knew babies learned through back and forth connection, right? Mostly nonverbal in the beginning, but watching your face and hearing your voice. Remember, think of the the mirror neurons. These are the neural pathways that lead to language and lead to social emotional skills and empathy, connection and turn taking. So like I said, forget the gadgets offer. Simple play with you being the device, right? Peekaboo, silly songs, silly faces, all of that. Um, hide and seek. That's the best kind of stimulation, especially throughout this very first year. So let's keep going. Now we're up to number seven. Once you've got connection during the day, you'll want to think about. What happens at night, right? We mentioned about the lights, we mentioned about the feeding. Is it nourishment? Is it comfort? But please, on a separate note, keep it calm and consistent through the sleep cycle, right? Because rest, and the reason why I'm highlighting it is because rest is developmental. Not just behavioral. So babies don't need strict training, sleep training in my book. They need to know and feel safety and the rhythm of the day and responsiveness and connection to us. They're starting to find that groove, right, and, and when the sun is up. Is going to be different than when the sun is down. So a quiet, cool, dark room, gentle, routine, softer voicing, and a caretaker. You mom, most of the time, but dads are pretty good at helping in the middle of the night, is really there to comfort, not ignore them and, and so I'm. Really talking more and specifically about this, that's what helps babies feel safe enough to fall asleep and stay asleep and feel that the growth and development during their sleep cycles. Remember those nighttime feedings that I talked about in number five, keep them low lit and calm that rhythm. Is really queuing up and regulating their nervous system. And don't forget that, your baby is very immature still and, in a previous episode, I dedicated the whole time on discussing how they're under construction. They came to us still. Open-ended and that it's our job, our responsibility to really help finish the work that was started in the womb, right, that it's referred to as the fourth trimester. your baby needs you to help co-regulate with them so they can then fall into that rest, and sleep state. Now, here's something that surprises many parents. Sleep is also, or sleep is actually a language builder too, because as we move into number eight, that really. Highlights what responsive communication means, and that you, mom, dad, caretaker, grandparents, you need to talk more than you really think, or more consciously, I guess Babies understand, as you know, far more than they can say, but here's the fascinating point. They're processing most of all of our talking and interactions through the right hemisphere. Because that is primarily the nonverbal aspects, the tone, the pitch, the facial expressions. But at the same time, they're also processing the sounds and the smaller word chunks in the left hemisphere, but it's just at a much slower pace. There's a lot of technical work going on through the left hemisphere and to get. Not to get too technical, but it's really the sounds in the right ear that's crossing the brain, you know, center that the corpus cossum and really coding in that left hemisphere and vice versa. But that's a side point. But that's why us using us humans, using that slow sing-songy voice works so well. Because their brain is literally coding the data, the auditory data that it hears. Like I said, the sounds within the words and the smaller words, because if we string way too much language, it's an overload for them. But if. We're softer. If we slow it down and we give that kind of sing-songy pitch and tone, then pretty much every word we speak while we feed and while we change, while we walk about the day, right? You're doing, you know, baby wearing, that's building their language. And their social connection, that right hemisphere and that left hemisphere are taking in that data and, and coding it, and storing it and prioritizing it. So narrate your day, seeing during diaper changes. Pause and listen. They will coup, they will babble, they will giggle. They will try to begin to get your attention. They're trying to connect with us, but we have to show them the way, and I just wanna highlight this instead of pure silence, which unfortunately a lot of parents do, but they will also have some background. TV noise and, you know, junk noise, that's what I call it. And instead of all of that, just, you know, fill their ears with the sound of your voice, with purposeful, what moment that you're, you know, take those two minutes to change them, or five minutes to, you know, cha uh, clean up their diaper or whatever and use it to really connect and wire their brain. And that's why you, it's your face, your voice, your presence, your energy is really the most powerful tool that your baby will ever have for learning, right? For, for really, like I said, wiring their body, their sensory system, their nervous system, but also their language and cognition that you are really the tool, the thing, the gadget that they need. So of course, even though you are your baby's best environment, you are not meant to do this alone. And I hope you know that because then that brings us to number nine of this list of 10 of essentials. But keeping a small supportive circle is really, really. An important piece to this beautiful child rearing because just a few trusted voices can really make all the difference. And I know that that's what I had in those first couple of years. A a, a few dear women who had already. Raise their kids and they were, you know, in middle school or high school, and I leaned on them quite a bit. Even, uh, you know, someone like me coming in with all of this education, right? It still is. Your baby still is the center of your universe and you need that connection. To either unload or celebrate, right? But what I wanna highlight here is that you don't need 47 opinions from strangers online. I mean, you just need two or three truly trusted voices. Women who know your values, respect your instincts, and can remind you that, mama, you're doing a good job. You're, you're in it every single day and you're gonna make mistakes and you pick up the pieces and you keep moving forward because of the, the love and dedication in your heart. Parenting is not meant to be done alone, it never has been, but it also means that we don't really crowdsource it either. Right. The goal is to reduce the overwhelm in this very, very noisy world we all live in, and I want you to begin to trust your own inner voice. For me, that voice has always been the Holy Spirit. For you, it might feel more like intuition. Either way, it's our gift, And finally, here's number 10, and it may be the most important one if there's a theme that ties everything together. I think it's this presence matters more than perfection. Babies don't need perfect parents. They need present ones. So please don't feel every moment or feel like you have to stimulate them or give them an activity to do. Some of the most powerful brain building moments happen in the margins during rocking walking. Just laying down and staring at the sky together instead of packing your days full and looking at your schedule, leave room for grace because presence is powerful. So there you have it. My 10 essentials that matter more than any registry you could ever, sign up for. I think they're rooted in biology, backed by brain science and built into the fabric of how humans grow. You can raise a healthy baby in this wild world we live in, and it doesn't start with stuff. It starts with connection and rhythm and trust. So thanks as always for sharing your precious time with me. And remember, you are your baby's best environment. God bless. See you in the next talking toddlers. Have a great day.