When Your Gut Keeps Whispering “Pay Attention” Ep 142

Sometimes it’s not a loud concern.
It’s not panic.
It’s just a quiet feeling you can’t shake.

A whisper that says: pay attention.

If your baby or toddler isn’t talking the way you expected — and you’ve been told not to worry, to relax, or that they’ll “catch up” — this episode is for you.

Not to scare you.
Not to rush you.
And not to tell you that something is “wrong.”

But to help you understand why that inner nudge matters — and how early communication actually develops in the first three years of life.

In this episode, I explain:

• Why loving, attentive parents can still feel unsure
  
  
• Why more talking, more questions, or more pressure isn’t always the answer
  
  
• What brain development really requires before words can flourish
  
  
• How to support communication in a way that feels nurturing, preventative, and purposeful — not performative or stressful

You are wired to notice your child.

You are wired to protect and steward their growth.

And paying attention early is not overreacting — it’s how we create the conditions for connection to blossom.

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How to Get Your Toddler Talking: 3 Daily Routines That Build Real Words

✨ LIVE PARENT WORKSHOP — February 13, 2026

If you’ve ever wondered “Am I doing enough?” or “Am I missing something important?” — this workshop will help you feel more grounded and confident.

👉 Learn more and register here: [Workshop]

If you want clarity, confidence, and a practical plan to support your child’s communication from infancy through 30 months… you’ll want to be there.

📥 Free resource:
The Top 10 Essential Skills Every Baby Needs Before Talking

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DISCLAIMER:

This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult your pediatrician or a qualified health provider with questions about your child’s development or health. The views shared are based on Erin Hyer’s professional experience and are intended to support informed parenting, not to replace individual consultation or care. Every child and family is unique — please use your discretion and consult trusted professionals when making decisions for your child.

📩 Questions: contact@HyerLearning.com
 🌐 www.HyerLearning.com

Transcript

Erin: 0:00

And so when your child doesn't respond with words, the problem isn't motivation. The problem isn't being stubborn. The problem isn't even resistance, it's timing, it's wiring. It's who is leading the charge here. So one of the most common worries I hear is that a mom or a dad will say to me. Hello and welcome to Talking Toddlers where I share more than just tips and tricks on how to reduce tantrums or build your toddler's vocabulary. We're gonna cover all of that, but here our goal is to develop clarity because in this modern world, it's truly overwhelming. This podcast is about empowering moms to know the difference between fact and fiction, to never give up, to tap into everyday activities, so your child stays on track. He's not falling behind, he's thriving. Through your guidance, we know that true learning starts at home. So let's get started. If you are listening because your baby or toddler isn't talking yet or not as much as you expected, I want to begin with this when your child isn't talking as expected. It's a signal, not a sentence, and signals tell us exactly where to start, but too many loving parents are being given advice that doesn't line up with how the brain truly develops. And I see the result of that every single week. I mean every single week, smart, loving, attentive parents doing everything they were told and still watching their child struggle to move forward. They're talking at their child, but they're not always connecting with their child. They're asking questions, but not always building communication. They're waiting and seeing all while their gut is quietly saying, wait, something matters here. I need to pay more attention. And the advice they get, oh, just talk more or read more books, ask more questions, or give it time. He'll catch up. Now, I'm not saying some of those things are wrong per se, but I am saying they're fairly incomplete. and with that incompleteness, it causes confusion. And creates doubt, and for some families it's creating a gap that widens while everybody waits. That's the part we don't talk about enough because early development doesn't pause while we try to figure it out. It keeps moving forward quietly, steadily, sometimes powerfully. Every single day. So here's the hopeful truth I want you to hear today. Small shifts in how you see your child, how you respond, and how you use ordinary moments, can change the entire direction of building his or her human communication system. Over time, not someday, not after several months of therapy, but starting right inside your life, you're already living today. And that kind of change begins with one simple step, being willing to look a little deeper and learn what the brain has needed all along. That's what this conversation is really about today. I wanna give you brain-based explanation, not opinion, not trend, and not what worked for someone's cousin down the street. But I wanna give you the why why Well-intentioned language advice misses the mark in those first three years, and I wanna give you a new way to think about communication that will immediately lower the pressure, reduce testing, and help your child feel invited into language instead of evaluated or being measured by it. So welcome to talking Toddlers. I'm glad you're here. If you're new to the show, welcome. And this is about episode one 40 or something. And we're still going strong because parents like you keep showing up with real questions about real kids. I'm a licensed speech language pathologist with well over 35 years of clinical practice. That means I've worked with hundreds. Probably thousands of babies and toddlers who weren't talking on time, and I've worked with just as many parents who were told to wait and see, but what they really needed was a plan not awaiting or hoping. And if you're a returning listener, thank you for being here. You know by now that we don't do fluff. We do science, we do strategy, we do practicality, and we do it in a way that actually makes sense for your real life. So let's get into it. Okay. Before we go any further, I want to give you a metaphor and I want you to hold onto this metaphor for the rest of this episode because it's going to reframe everything we talk about here. I want you to think about early communication, speech and language. Like a bridge. The bridge itself, well, that's the right hemisphere. The right hemisphere of the brain is the side that processes nonverbal communication. Think of it as the emotion behind our talking, the rhythm to our speech, the gestures that we use, even the facial expression and this shared attention when we're connecting, especially with newborns and new babies. Those first three, six months, this is the foundation. To human communication. This is the structure and it's all processed in this right hemisphere. Now back to the bridge. Think of guardrails. What are those? Those are our gestures. Hands, face, body gestures, pointing, reaching, eye contact. those gestures, those guardrails. Keep everything safe and in alignment, right? They help guide the flow. Of traffic across your bridge. And speaking of traffic, what is that? That's our words that's built in the left hemisphere, and that hemisphere is doing most of the heavy lifting for the sounds, the sound structure, labeling, putting these sounds together to build those words, and then understanding the sequencing behind the sentence sequencing. As well as the word sequencing. It's also organizing the meaning behind the whole vocabulary and and grammatical structures. So now here's the part that I think can change everything. You cannot drive traffic across a bridge that hasn't been built yet, and I want you to think about that. Because this is exactly what many parents are being encouraged to do. They're being told, just get your baby and toddler to say more words, but the bridge isn't ready to support the traffic. The guardrails aren't up, so they're not quite sure where to drive the traffic. Those are the words. It's not moving because the infrastructure isn't there yet. So let's talk about how we build that bridge. The brain wires itself on a timeline. It's always looking for patterns. So for about roughly those first three years of life, the right hemisphere is running the show. When your baby comes into this world, they don't have speech and language, they don't have the the traffic, right? They don't have the bits and pieces. All they have is this white hem, or I'm sorry, this right hemisphere that is striving to connect human. And this isn't theory, this is basic neurodevelopment. We know this to be true, that the right hemisphere is a side that processes our facial expression. Our nonverbal communication, the emotion behind all of our vocal play, the rhythm and melody of English versus the rhythm and melody of Spanish. They're different. The porosity, that's the musicality or the music behind speech, there's the prosodic messaging, and then there's the sensory experience. How do the word sound? How do they match up with the motor development? How, how does it feel in this, this space where we could be breastfeeding or we could be bathing, or, or, or just cooing and babbling. In plain peekaboo, it's a whole body meaning, so the right hemisphere is holistic, it's relational, it's feeling first. Because in those first 6, 9, 12, 15, 18 months. All the way up to three years actually, but especially those fifth, 18, 24 months, that right hemisphere is building an understanding of how this environment works and how I'm building relationships with the most important people in my life. I don't have the words yet, so I have to connect through nonverbal communication. That left hemisphere, that's the side that handles the structure. the sound structures, and how the sounds go together. How they, they begin to label things, and actions. It also builds that auditory discrimination. Are these two sounds or are these two words, are they the same? Is that woman's voice and that woman's voice the same or different? And, and what about the sequencing? Mom keeps singing this same song over and over again. I'm finding this pattern. It's familiarity. It's building that structure. And then there's grammar, right? How do the words go together to make sense in this sentence? And there's a lot of comparing and contrasting because the brain wants patterns. But this LA left hemisphere is truly under construction. And those first three years especially, it's not offline, it's not not working, but it's immature. It's it's building bit by bit by bit. Where, remember the right hemisphere I said was much more holistic. It was feeling driven. So when a lot of parents say to their child and play, say ball, say ball, or, what's this, Johnny, what's this? Or mommy might say, tell mommy what you want. Tell mommy. Use your words. Use your words. We're asking the left brain that left hemisphere to perform before the right brain has finished building the bridge. So when we ask for words, which is the traffic, right? The cars moving across, back and forth, the bridge, but the bridge isn't finished yet, then we have nothing to rest on. And so when your child doesn't respond with words, the problem isn't motivation. The problem isn't being stubborn. The problem isn't even resistance, it's timing, it's wiring. It's who is leading the charge here. So one of the most common worries I hear is that a mom or a dad will say to me. He knows what it is. I know he knows it. He said it yesterday or he said it last week a couple of times. Why won't he say it now? He's just being stubborn, isn't he? And I say, no. Yes. 1, 2, 3 year olds will dig their heels in the sand and, and be adamant not to perform or, or give it to you on command. But the truth is what the neurodevelopment processing is. Is that he is experiencing through his right hemisphere long before the symbols can come through his left hemisphere. So remember, words are just a symbolic representation of whatever you. Are trying to say whether it's an object or an action or a feeling, you could say hungry, or the word hungry is just the, the speech representation of how I feel. Right, or even apple. Apple or just the sounds strung together in a certain pattern that represent this piece of fruit in my hand that I would like to eat and satisfy my hunger. Those symbolic representations are words are vocal, but they're also through action and gesture, so the right brain wants to feel the moment. And understand before the left brain can code it. And so if we're constantly asking for the code, the words right, or the traffic before the experience has been processed to build that understanding and connection, then we're putting pressure on a system that isn't ready yet. And so do hear me when I say that. It doesn't mean that your child can't learn these, or again, is being resistant. It means that we, we, the parents, the adults in his or her life need to feed and nourish the system that is more ready. That right hemisphere, it's, it's available to learn and it's much more holistic. And this is exactly why I often teach parents what I call the three Ps of early communication to be present you as the caregiver to be purposeful. And playful inside everyday life, everyday activities that will help them structure this right hemisphere as we're building the left hemisphere. Because because human communication doesn't grow for more pressure, it actually grows from the quality of those small shared moments built throughout your day. Day after day, and so this is where I. Of those three Ps I wanna talk today about being more purposeful. So when I say purposeful, a lot of parents will come back and say that they think of it more as like a planned activity, right? Let's play Legos or a set up a station. Let's do sensory play or workbooks or flashcards. That's not the purposeful that I'm talking about here today in those first three years. Purposeful means here that my words, when I'm engaged with you have intention that my tone, that right hemisphere information has meaning, and that my presence with you matters. That we are connected. That's the purpose. It means I'm not just filling in the silence or I'm not just narrating to narrate. Because that's often the advice you're given. It truly means that I'm giving my child the kind of language their brain is wired and ready to receive right now at this developmental stage of this journey. So try to look at the difference between those two opportunities, those two events. So instead of testing language or asking of language, we're actually feeding and nourishing the connection that's going to support that language. So we nourish the right hemisphere before we build out the structure of the verbal communication. It's still being built. Just in a different processing system. So here's what it could sound like for you at home. Instead of saying, what's this? Or Can you say Water? Water. Watch mommy water. And we all do this. Parents, teachers, therapists alike. Instead of that. That, that traffic flow that isn't quite ready to move across the bridge, we wanna say something more like, oh wow. Look at the water is Splash. Splash. Ooh, the water is cold. Cold. My hands are wet. Let's shake. Shake cold water. So think of those two comparisons. Why does the second one work better for them at one, two, and three? Is because you are giving the rhythm. The brain loves patterns, right? It's finding the rhythm of your language. You're, you're giving them emotion. Engagement lights up that right hemisphere. It pulls them in. You're giving them sensory detail through the words. Yes. Cold, wet, bur, those are body-based words. You can connect them with movement and connect them with your body. It makes more emotional sense. And then in that moment, you're not just labeling things, you're building connection with them. You're in it together. You are laying the concrete for the physical bridge. And so when the bridge is strong enough, when that right hemisphere foundation is solid, then traffic begins to move on its own. And in the beginning it might just be a few cars here and there. It might be one lane or two lanes, but you don't have to force it. You don't have to test it and drill it. The brain does what it's wired to do in that time. When it's ready to process, when you have given, given it the right nourishment, then it will develop. So let me give you a real world scenario. Say you're at the park and your child wants to go down the slide the old way, kind of the classic way would be, oh, what do you want to do? Oh, do you want to slide, say, slide, slide, honey. Right. You might just be labeling things. You might be asking them to repeat or imitate you on command. That's very common. Parents, teachers, and therapists do it all the time. But the new way I'm suggesting is that you say, wow. Look at that slide. Let's go up, up, up, up. And now we all the way down. Whoosh. You slid. We, that's a whole different experience. I'm not avoiding words, I'm still using them, but they're embedded inside the emotional experience. Finding the rhythm, bringing the interest to them, auditorily and feeding that right hemisphere is a shared experience with them. That's what I mean by purposeful language during these early years, and that's how the right hemisphere wires and strengthens and learns. Its processing. So when the left hemisphere starts to really load up, you start sending traffic across the bridge. And like I said, it might just be one or two lanes in the beginning and you're gonna keep building it out. And, and that's what happens. That first birthday, that second birthday, you have 20 words. You have 50 words, and it starts, and the traffic starts flowing. But the right hemisphere, the bridge itself, the infrastructure has to be solid. So, so now. Let's talk about what parents often misunderstand. That I think, again, is just given bad advice. And I assure you that, you know, like I said earlier, it's not just parents. Um, but it's truly a, a misunderstanding of the importance behind gestures. And, and I know that, you know, a lot of parents and teachers and whatnot will say, oh, you know, he waves or he blows a kiss. Whenever he feels like it. But I want you to really look at gestures as not being, instead of words, or that is just kind of a, a, a place card holder. They are really, the guardrails on this bridge that we're building and guardrails are critical because it allows the words to travel more fluently and safer. Right? It, it marks the boundaries. But it gives you the, the visual cue to, again, think of the metaphor going across the bridge. It gives you the visual cue of where you are. And so gestures are just that. That, you know, sometimes I, I will often hear, and I, and I heard this a couple of times in the last month or so, a, a worried mom, a concerned mom might say something like, well, he just points and grunts and I feel like he should be well beyond that by now. And the truth is, clinically, when I look at that from a neurodevelopment. Standpoint pointing is a developmental victory. That's a huge step. It's sort of like equivalent to them taking their first two or three steps independently when your child points, he or she's telling us, I have joint attention with you. I see what you see and we're connecting through this, and I can guide that. I can initiate that and you're going to jump in and join me. That's a huge cognitive developmental victory. It is also telling us that he Right. Your child understands communication is shared. It's just yes, they go off in the corner and practice talking by themselves, but. Communication is really about sharing at least with one other person. And in that moment, when they point and and get you to turn and look, they know I matter the child and you matter. Both of us are important in this, in this social exchange. So when the, the bridge is built and the guardrails are going up. Then you'll see that traffic starts. You know, like I said, a few cars and trucks will go across, but it's not going to quite be a hundred percent. It's it. It's not a light switch. They're not going to do it overnight, and I want you to be okay with that. I want you to be comfortable with the process. Because gestures are communication and I want you to be comfortable with building those guardrails and reinforcing them. Because when we do that, when we know where the markers are, then we feel less pressure and we can kind of relax and just drive, right? And, and the truth is clinically gestures. Predict spoken language better than any other single milestone. And what I mean by that is when I look at a child 12 to 16 to 18 months, and they have a lot of gestures, but maybe not a lot of true words, I know the true words are right around the corner. I know that they're just building more and more guard posts. They're lining them up. But if a child isn't very engaged with gestures, right, they're not trying them out and not, and, and I, and I don't mean one or two gestures, I mean a lot. you know, there's 16 gestures by 16 months, but there's a lot more homemade gestures or just their body language, right? But if they don't, this typically tells us that it puts them in a different risk group, uh, a different risk group of having speech language delay. Not a one-to-one correlation, but I know that it's harder. It's telling me something underneath isn't being built naturally. That that speech and talking. Might take a lot more work and effort, but I believe that God designed us in, especially in those first three years, to acquire speech and language of your native language pretty smoothly. So I want you to take home when he points celebrate it. When he, when he raises his arms and grunts and whines, even build upon that, give them the word up. Up. Hold me up. Don't bypass it. But really, really, and don't minimize it, but really celebrate it and expand on it. Help your son or daughter develop and use more gestures. And lots of families these days are all about, the baby signs, but I see that parents will use baby signs instead of real words, and that's a mistake. These guardrails are there to guide us and to ease our stress when we're driving across that bridge. So what gestures do is help facilitate the flow of real words. Because it reduces the stress of performing. But these gestures, all of them, real sign language, homemade baby sign language, all of those all count. So I, I want you to continue to talk a little bit more about what purposeful language is, and there's a phrase that I use it, it's wondering out loud. This is where purposeful gets really powerful. I teach this to parents because. It helps pull the child in and it gives the parent some structure and it's not, pretending to be confused or dumb even. Uh, and, and I used to teach, you know, oh, kids like it when you play helpless, and that's a part of it, but that's really the charm behind it. What you're actually saying when you're wondering out loud, you are giving them the framework of what's going on inside your head that you're doing naturally every day. You're saying you matter. Your input matters, and I wanna share this moment with you. I need you to be a part of this. So this is how this wondering strategy works. Say you are putting the groceries away and you pick up paper towels and you think out loud, right? You go, Hmm, I wonder where these go. And you look at your daughter or son, and then you maybe look at the fridge and you open it up and you say, does it go in the fridge? Nah. You close it and you think out loud, and you give them that white space. Now, this isn't testing your daughter or son, right? You're really inviting them in to participate, to help you to engage with you. You're inviting them in to help you solve a problem. Maybe they use a gesture, maybe they point to the pantry door, or maybe they use approximated language, cub, cub for cupboard or something. But they enter the shared thinking space, and that's what communication is. It's like, let's think and share together. Right? And we're ultimately, yes, we want the words, but we have to show them how to get there. So you didn't say, where do the paper towels go? Right? You put'em on the spot. Okay, where's this go? Where's this go? Which I've seen a lot of parents try, but you invited them in and it just takes an extra moment or two, you say, Hmm, I wonder where this goes. Do you know? Right. This matters. Remember it in the bridge metaphor because gestures are their guardrails, like I said, and when you honor gestures, when you respond to them, when you expand on them, then it's strengthening the, the security of everything, like I said, and, and so. Strong guardrails, make the bridge safer for words to travel. And so when you are just inviting them in to think about the process, I wonder where this goes. Hmm. And and they don't have to say anything. Right. You're, you are not delaying their spoken language. You are actually supporting it by bringing them in and showing you by pointing or approximating, like you said, and, and it really pulls them into the engagement and that's all that right hemisphere. And the stronger this is built, because this is the backdrop to understanding and comprehension and, and social human connection, it's just. Changing your language structure to make it more interesting and inviting. And at, at that stage, or in this context, any response, you know, whether it's the paper towels or which snack do you want first, any response counts. A look, a reach, a point, a grunt, a sound, a word, right? Because ultimately the goal is the word. But you know that they need hundreds and hundreds and thousands actually of trials to get there. So in these first. 24 months and 36 months. The goal is more intentional communication and really wiring that, and when we create space for that, then we make the whole environment more comfortable. There's lower pressure. Yeah, there's, more connection and then the brain actually wants to fill in when you say, Hmm, I wonder which one you'll pick first. And there's that pause and they want to jump in and participate. let's, connect this to how the brain actually learns language, because this is really, I think, the piece that is misunderstood when parents are often. Given the advice, wait and see. I think that becomes dangerously misunderstood because both parents and the professional, usually the pediatrician or the teacher or a therapist will say, you know, let the kid figure it out. Or at least that's what is implied. But the truth is the brain learns language through something that we call statistical analysis. And this is especially true for that auditory processing that predominantly left hemisphere and that it's always collecting data, right? It wasn't offline, it's just collecting smaller and smaller bits of data to make it more, useful. So here's what statistical analysis means in this context. That your child's brain is constantly, and I mean constantly asking, what are these sounds that I'm hearing? and what sound comes first. What sound comes second? Do these two sounds go together? Is there, have I heard that before? Is there, are they different? Are they the same? Is it relevant? And so it's always building this, this analysis, right? Statistical analysis, I'm, I'm pulling patterns out of all the words that are being spoken to me and I'm trying to figure out the code. And that's what decoding is, right? But it's slow and precise and demanding work. It takes a lot of mental bandwidth and thousands and thousands of exposures. And so for many children, they're not just coding one language. They might be coding two or more in some cases. And I get a lot of emails and, so I, I want to answer this question directly in those first three and five and all the way up to seven, we know that. Uh, learning a second language up to seven is a lot easier. A lot easier because the brain is so ripe and ready to code spoken language, the human language. but what it takes is time and consistent exposure and a lot of repetition. And here's the key. It takes low pressure. So notice what is not on that list, right? I said that it takes time and exposure, repetition, and low pressure. What's not on that list is drills or testing flashcards or pressure to perform. It's natural. So the reason why lessons or drills or flashcards don't work at this age in particular, but that routines do, is because language, language processing, which is. Is the spoken sounds that are strung together to make words that are strung together to make sentences, but language groves inside predictable and meaningful patterns. Like I said, the brain is looking for patterns, statistical analysis, because if it's haphazard, they will never code this language. So it has to be consistent. It has to be slower. In the beginning and then faster. Once both hemispheres are wired at a better rate, that that the bridge is solid, the guardrails are up, and we're allowing more and more traffic to flow smoothly. So language grows in those predictable, meaningful patterns. And what are those? Bath time, meal time, bedtime. Car rides, grocery trips, putting laundry away, setting the table, those everyday routines, and I've always looked at that as that's the real language lab. That's where the, the soil is nourished and, and all of the beautiful fruits and vegetables and flowers can blossom. Because what the brain is looking for, what, what is happening in there? It, it, it's, it's looking for, oh, I've done this before. Oh, I know what comes next. Oh, I know. I've heard that nursery rhyme before. This means that we're gonna get ready for bed. They're putting these patterns together, and when those patterns repeat, when the words, the rhyming, all of the sequence is consistent, they're coding it and they're settling down. They're beginning to understand. And that's not done haphazardly. It's not done on one or a handful of tries. It's done over time, and like I said, hundreds and hundreds of opportunities. So the, the big shift, is why wait and see doesn't ever really work is because so many people. Believe that waiting and seeing is passive, but I think it's active waiting, right? And, and that we can act purposefully by creating communication opportunities throughout your day. And, let me give you an example. I sometimes refer to her, to it as like creating these gaps, right? So, say you're at the sink and you're about to wash your hands, and you pause before you jump right in and do it. Now, let me preface all of this is. Whenever I give you examples like this, it doesn't mean that you do this 24 7. It doesn't mean that you do this every single time you wash their hands, but that certain days, certain times, certain events, you, you do it much more purposefully, right? So you're standing in front of the sink and you pause. You look at your child, you look at your hands. You even look at their hands, and then you look at the faucet. And again, you give them that right hemisphere, that facial expression like, hmm. And then you say, what do we do first? Right? The brain is looking for patterns. What's the first step? But this causes their cognitive development a little tension. They're like, oh, I was just gonna get it done, and now it's paused. He, he or she, mom or dad are making me think. So the brain wants to quickly resolve it. So when you ask him a question like, what do I do first? Any response is good. They can look at the faucet, they could point, they can say, wa, wa, or on? On all of it. They're filling in that gap because again, you're not testing whether they know what to do. That's not it. And, and I had this conversation with a mom, it was a pretty tense conversation just a couple of months ago, and she's like, she knows what to do. Why would I, why would I, you know, slow it down. Uh, we all just want to wash our hands. And I said, but I, I want you to use that as a language lab. To connect the language, the processing, and, and build it as a social communication. You're creating space for them to participate and use thinking and language embedded in it naturally. And, and why this works is when you, when you create these gaps, you're doing something neurologically brilliant. Because again, this is how the brain, the brain is always looking to fill in the gaps and also to find the easiest path. They're look, their brain wants to wire and build efficiency, so finding patterns and predictability is efficient. So a predictable pattern, the way we wash our hands. And then you have a meaningful pause. What comes next? And it's a low pressure event, right? Hmm. I wonder what do we do first? You're not saying, what's this? Tell me what this is and we'll turn it on. Right? You're not asking them, you're just making it interesting right? This is how we build the bridge. While some traffic starts to flow, right? We're building the bridge. We have some guardrails and we're letting the traffic flow, but it's, it's, it's because we're connected in the moment. I hope this makes sense to everyone, how, how deeply important this left hemisphere is. And it's not just that we focus on the emotions and, and we sing the nursery rhymes and we play peekaboo and, and all of these things, but then, closer to 18 months and 20 months and 30 months. We're using these everyday events to also make them think more like, how do we do this? Why do we do this? What's the order of this? And so they're thinking in their head based on the language that you provided hundreds of times. Right, and, and this is very easily seen in a common practice that I think a lot of parents do naturally, but you don't really understand why until maybe right now. So say you're reading one of their favorite books, and it has a lot of repeated lines. For example, brown Bear, brown Bear. What do you see right? And so you pause on the last word. A lot of parents do this naturally. Brown bear, brown bear. What do you, and that pause is that gap. So maybe they say, see, but you're looking at them anticipation, right? You're, you're, you're pulling them in. You're not just reading the book to them. Maybe they, you know, say an approximated sound, E or maybe they look at you expectantly like you're supposed to fill in the word, right? All of those are winning communication experiences because you've created that gap and their brain is learning to fill it in. And so it's the same strategy when you get to the sink and you say, what do I do first? Or you ask, where does the paper cat towel go over time with repetition and with safety, those guardrails, right? So there's a lot of pointing. There's a lot of facial expressions. There's a lot of, I don't know, but the words will start to come naturally, not because we're forcing it or demanding it, or even asking them to imitate. They will start to imitate. Naturally, but, but the brain is wiring that that right hemisphere is getting richer and richer and they understand. This human world more, and then the structure of the words are being coded in that left hemisphere, and those two hemispheres are talking to each other. And one of the ways that we've always shared here is one of the ways that we build that right and left hemisphere communication is through motor play. Right. Climbing on things and crawling and, and scooting, and pushing and pulling, and all of that physical activity is strengthening that right and left hemisphere communication system. And that's how all of these things are interconnected. So I want to leave you with this today in more than 35 years of working with babies and toddlers and preschoolers, their families, you know, school systems, all of it. I have never once seen a child harmed by a parent being more present or more purposeful, or more connected, never. I know a lot of people will maybe push back and say, huh, there's lots of spoiled kids, and I'm not talking that way. When I talk about being present, that means that you're connected with them in the moment that you're sharing it together, and that being purposeful and being connected is when you're, you both have responsibility in this dyad, in this relationship. But especially in those first three years, we're not really looking to fix children. We're, we're, we know that they come to us with a lot of raw material, and so we're looking to feed and nourish and build their brain through their life, our lifestyle choices, through our connection with each other, and when. Uh, your baby's brain is fed correctly through good, healthy nourishment and food, but good, healthy nourishment in in relationship. When it gets the right input at the right time, in the right way. Not perfect, but there's a rhythm to it, there's a pattern. Then growth and maturity follows naturally. And here's, here's the hard part sometimes to see, but if you step back and you'll look at how we grow and learn and develop, it's not on your. Timeline or even on my timeline, and it, it certainly isn't some charts timeline. Tho those are guideposts, like I've said, that, that they're, they're markers to say, this is what we're shooting for, but it's really based on your child's individual brain's timeline that we have to feed a nurse that right hemisphere at the same time that we're using the, the physical words to help them structure that, that data, right? And, and then build those right in hemisphere connections together, through, through movement and play and good rest and, and all of that. If you're sitting here thinking, I've been doing this wrong, I want you to stop because you haven't, you've been doing what most of you are told. And as I said before, unfortunately there's a lot of bad advice out there. So now I, I just want you to look at this and say, now I have new information. I have more accurate information. And so it's not whether parents are failing or, or that you've been unable to do it. Look at it as growth. You didn't know what you didn't know. And, and starting from this moment, you get to take this and, and move forward with it. You could start tomorrow, start this evening whenever you're listening to this, I also want to share that my inside community, my private email list. I wanna go a little bit deeper and I'm gonna talk about what prosody means and prosody is that sing song voice that we use naturally with babies. and it really is about wiring up that right hemisphere that some people think it's silly. Some people think that it's babyish and and childish and unnecessary, but I want to explain the science behind it and Recently, I've asked some moms on my coaching calls and they actually had no idea what parentese or motherese even meant. And the funny part is the vast majority of cultures have some form of it, and I want to share why and why it's important in those first 24 months, but I think it's one of the most powerful neurological tools that we have that we could, have in the back of our minds saying, this is important, right? And I'm not talking about baby talk, I'm talking about using the prosody of our speech for a reason, right? And if you're not on my email list and you want to learn more about this, make sure that you join my email list down in the description below. That's where once a week we go deeper, we get a little bit more specific. It's a a, a shorter clip. It's only 10 or 15 minutes, and it's really just focusing on one thing. And if you're thinking. I understand this, this makes total sense to me now. but I wanna do it better. I wanna do it more correctly. That's exactly why I'm hosting my workshop coming up on February 13th, just this week. I think this episode will be launched, um, or published launch week. So this is where I walk with you. Side by side so we can begin to implement these strategies right away in your everyday life. There's no guessing, no overwhelm, just clear purposeful action steps, you'll walk away with a, with a plan, and you'll leave feeling much more comfortable and confident in how to implement these things. And so you'll find the details down below in the description. I'd love to see you there December 13th, my 90 minute workshop. So for today, thanks for being here. Thanks for showing up for your child, and thanks for trusting me to walk with you, and I look forward to seeing you in the next talking toddlers.