The Art of Truth

On today’s episode, The Art of Truth, we look at the heart of an artist’s journey as they explore the relentless pursuit of honesty and their show of courage to confront and reveal genuine truths through creative expression. Joining us is Sydney Brown, a visual artist based in the San Francisco Bay Area, known for her vibrant, immersive work that merges everyday objects with deeply personal narratives. Sydney’s practice, which spans sculpture and installation, transforms familiar items into symbols of memory and personal history. Together, we’ll discuss the cyclical process of learning and growth, where artists revisit familiar themes, evolving with each piece they create.

Guest: Sydney Brown
                🌐 https://www.sydliz.com/
              Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mamasstudio/
📸: James Erin de Jauregui
       Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dejauregui/

Upcoming Show:
Close to the Skin
presented by: The Truth Collective
Location: WORKS/San Jose
                  🌐 https://workssanjose.org/
                   38 South Second Street
                   San Jose, CA  95113
🗓️ November 16 - December 21, 2024

J-Squared Atelier, LLC
For the love of art

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Transcript

00;00;08;15 - 00;00;37;12
James
Welcome to Lattes & Art, presented by J-Squared Atelier, where we explore the rich and transformative world of art. One story at a time. I'm James William Moore, your host. And on today's episode, the Art of truth, we look at the heart of an artist's journey as they explore the relentless pursuit of honesty and show of courage to confront and reveal genuine truths through creative expression.

00;00;37;15 - 00;01;10;07
James
Joining us is Sydney Brown, an artist based in the San Francisco Bay area known for her vibrant, immersive work which merges everyday objects with deeply personal narratives. Sydney's practice, which spans sculpture and installation, transforms familiar items into symbols of memory and personal history. Together, we'll discuss the cyclical process of learning and growth, where artists revisit familiar themes evolving with each piece they create.

00;01;10;09 - 00;01;18;07
James
Now pour yourself a cappuccino and sit back and enjoy the conversation.

00;01;18;09 - 00;01;30;14
James
Sydney, thank you so much for coming here today and and opening up and talking to us. For those that don't know you, could you give us just a little introduction of who you are and what you do?

00;01;30;20 - 00;01;59;23
Sydney
Sure. Hi. Thanks for having me here. What a treat. I am an artist. Mother. Daughter, wife. I feel mostly drawn to sculpture and three dimensional things. Although I do some 2D work. But metal and paper, soft things, mixed media. I kind of love anything that is really hard and takes a long time. Lots of labor involved.

00;01;59;29 - 00;02;01;21
James
The labor of love.

00;02;01;24 - 00;02;02;08
Sydney
All of it.

00;02;02;13 - 00;02;28;23
James
Let's just jump right into that. You mentioned your titles in your home, in you and who you are. And then you step into these materials and you talk about paper and other things and some of them tend to be saw as female. Women are sort of medium. Is that on purpose?

00;02;28;26 - 00;02;53;14
Sydney
It's a good question. I think that I come at materials for lots of different reasons. So sometimes it's super practical. Like when I was pregnant, I couldn't work with, my sort of most comfortable materials or most known materials, which would be metal. I couldn't do the same things I was doing, I couldn't weld. It was toxic and unsafe.

00;02;53;14 - 00;03;21;26
Sydney
And that was true even when I was trying to get pregnant. So I sort of thoughtfully switched to softer, safer things. But then I like to swing to the, like, really traditionally masculine things. Like I got a degree in structural welding, and I think part of that was driven by like really liking to walk the line and the tension between what people think is normal or common and what they are, surprised by.

00;03;21;28 - 00;03;30;03
Sydney
I like surprising myself, and I like to see the looks on people's faces when I'm like, yeah, I could like, well, to pipeline and, you know, if I want.

00;03;30;03 - 00;03;31;01
James
More than I could.

00;03;31;03 - 00;03;32;20
Sydney
Yeah.

00;03;32;22 - 00;04;02;12
James
As you are doing these things and for example, when you were working through the softer materials while you were pregnant, the conversation we're having today with you is about art and truth, and there's something about your work that is inherently always about you and your own truth. How did that play into working with those softer fabrics and being pregnant at that time?

00;04;02;14 - 00;04;27;29
Sydney
When I was pregnant and trying to get pregnant. So like grappling with fertility things or death at the same time. Like those things I think come hand in hand. For me at least really regularly. And trying to have babies also made me think about my mother and her family. And so both where I came from and where I'm going.

00;04;27;29 - 00;04;52;00
Sydney
And will there be somebody to tell my stories to? And will they want to keep telling stories? I think it was easy for me to float into the softer materials when thinking about my mom and her family, because it brought up like traditional forms of making to think of women in the past, when it was really not that accessible for them to work in anything else.

00;04;52;02 - 00;05;08;17
Sydney
So my grandmother was a milliner, and my mom would say she's not creative at all, but she definitely is and worked with her hands in all kinds of ways. And then I, I was able to swing to other materials when thinking about my dad's side of the family telling their stories.

00;05;08;19 - 00;05;20;02
James
Through this, you're pursuing a truth about you, your history, your, ancestry. Is that correct?

00;05;20;05 - 00;05;53;06
Sydney
Totally, yes. Like, I have always believed that we will live life differently and most likely better, more honestly, more authentically if we know really fully where we've come from. And my own mom lost a lot of information with the death of her mother and like sort of succession of women in her life that kept that information from her or through the information away so that she couldn't find it.

00;05;53;08 - 00;06;08;11
Sydney
And so it became really important to me to, like, try to dig down and get in contact with family members or old stories directly from my mom in order to, like, do some record keeping for my family and for myself.

00;06;08;18 - 00;06;34;19
James
As you're going through that, you just mentioned how family members destroyed record, historical record. And, you know, generationally, we passed this information along with what you have found, with what you have discovered, with what you're communicated with these people. How do you find it if it's your truth or not? In other words, because those records aren't there.

00;06;34;23 - 00;06;35;08
Sydney


00;06;35;11 - 00;06;37;21
James
How do you move forward with that I guess.

00;06;37;27 - 00;06;44;01
Sydney
Do you mean like how do I find the answers if the records are gone? Yeah.

00;06;44;03 - 00;07;08;28
Sydney
Well so a lot of information sort of like oral storytelling before things were written. Right or before like that was important to people to write it. They were telling it right. And I just kind of like, shifted my attention and drive towards getting my mom to tell me more stuff and like, recording her, talking to me so that I wouldn't lose the information.

00;07;08;28 - 00;07;32;23
Sydney
And most of the time she would tell the story the same way. So I trusted that it was accurate to her memory, and that's like the best I could do. Right. And then the way that I work is so like from the gut, it became really comfortable and normal for me to like, feel more details into a story.

00;07;32;23 - 00;07;58;00
Sydney
So I would rhythmically repeat something she'd said to me and something like another sentence would follow it that she didn't say. But that became the truth for me. Like how it made me feel, or, what it made me worry about or what it made me grieve for her. Even if she hadn't thought to say, like this moment was full of grief for me.

00;07;58;02 - 00;08;22;07
Sydney
I would retell the story to myself while like stitching words on a bandage and notice that as I'm doing that, like I'm feeling the grief that I'm certain she felt as a 12 year old, but just didn't think to retell it that way when she told it to me. So then the truth gets billowy and bigger, and I don't know, I think it becomes a fuller truth because we're related.

00;08;22;07 - 00;08;23;18
Sydney
It's both of our stories now.

00;08;23;19 - 00;08;28;04
James
And it's interesting too, because it was your mum or your grandmother that was a millenary.

00;08;28;05 - 00;08;32;05
Sydney
It was my great grandmother. So her grandfather.

00;08;32;10 - 00;08;57;10
James
So there is historically this thing because you're talking about stitching. So this is something that's generational in your family. And now you're getting some of this story this background. Yep. And you're experiencing it as told by your mom. Do you feel safe in sharing those stories through the art that you're making.

00;08;57;17 - 00;09;03;08
Sydney
Meaning like do I feel I'm thinking safe in a couple of different ways. So do you mean it like am I.

00;09;03;08 - 00;09;30;26
James
Safe is a bad word. Do you feel that it's healing. Because there's this thing right. There's this idea that motherhood do we get hugs. And there's a safety in that. But there's also a healing because you're talking about things that happened in the past that family members didn't want to know. You to know your mother to know is this helping heal some of that truth that's in your art.

00;09;31;00 - 00;10;02;05
Sydney
Yeah. Yes I believe it is. I mean that was a goal for me. So I spent many, many years in therapy and before I was in therapy I did similar like confessional work that really was not good for my mental health. Like I would drudge up a bunch of stuff and have nowhere to put it because I had no tools for that, like how to then contain it and deal with it and put it in a different spot.

00;10;02;08 - 00;10;31;12
Sydney
So I would just kind of sit in the ship and it was like really sad. But after getting lots of, you know, good learning around containing and healing and rituals, using things and compartmentalizing and healthy ways. Now, I came to that work about my mom and her family and like lots of traumas with a totally different insight about like not dredging things up, but but shedding light on things for like lots of purposes.

00;10;31;12 - 00;10;58;04
Sydney
But one of the things that I really felt strongly about is I could see and all of my siblings fears specifically, and phobias or, anxieties, maybe fears and anxieties would be like the most to the point words that like didn't really come from things we experienced. They didn't make a whole lot of sense for who we are or like our own childhood.

00;10;58;04 - 00;11;23;28
Sydney
And it was very clear that it came from my mother's untreated traumas. Like, no matter how hard you tried, she was an incredible mother. She's still an incredible mother, very loving, very nurturing and like, full of flaws. Right? Like we just are all full of flaws and noticing that we're all like, afraid of drowning. But why? Like, none of us had really big, scary drowning incidents in our life.

00;11;23;28 - 00;11;51;15
Sydney
There's several things like that that we all kind of carried around with us. And I just thought, like, I want her to be free of that, but I also want all of us to be free of that. Like, and if it can't be, if we can't get over it like we're too old or whatever, then I want to do the work to, like, notice those things and help all of my siblings, children and like their children or the ones they love to be free of those things.

00;11;51;15 - 00;12;03;09
Sydney
Like, I really think that having the information is half of the battle of getting through something. If you don't recognize that you have the problem, how are you ever going to solve it? You know?

00;12;03;11 - 00;12;03;22
James
Right?

00;12;03;23 - 00;12;06;17
Sydney
You have to see the problem. Some of you have to say you have a problem.

00;12;06;19 - 00;12;17;00
James
Yes. So your family members, how are they receiving this work that you're doing? Are they seeing the truth that you see in this?

00;12;17;02 - 00;12;41;20
Sydney
I come from a really polite and loving family, so I nobody has been negative or expressed that they're offended. My mom I think, really loves that I am trying to hold on to information for her. I think everybody yeah, I think everybody appreciates it. I think most of my siblings would say like, that sounds like hard work.

00;12;41;20 - 00;12;54;06
Sydney
And maybe not everybody wants to do that, you know? And I've only heard like loving touched reflection, you know, like that's really special that you're doing that kind of stuff.

00;12;54;08 - 00;13;18;25
James
When we were getting ready to get together, and I threw out some ideas for you that we might talk about, and it's it's incredible that what you've set up to this point kind of takes us through this process. And it's step by step, and there's this growth that's occurring as this truth becomes stronger and more realized through the artworks.

00;13;18;27 - 00;13;24;17
James
Are you feeling that that growth exists or are you still trying to find it.

00;13;24;25 - 00;13;31;04
Sydney
Like do I feel like the healing is happening that the moving forward is happening. Yeah. Generationally whatever.

00;13;31;05 - 00;13;39;11
James
Because we can put those words out there. Yeah. You commented that, you know this is going on, but do you feel.

00;13;39;13 - 00;13;39;25
Sydney
Yeah.

00;13;39;26 - 00;13;41;06
James
More than just those words.

00;13;41;06 - 00;14;04;29
Sydney
Yeah. I mean, I can say that I feel it personally. Yeah, I do, and I see it in my relationship with my mom. Like I think there's something really magical about diving into her stories and then having to separate myself from her story. I luckily I was like in a lot of therapy when I started that project too, all about my mom.

00;14;04;29 - 00;14;27;01
Sydney
And so I was able to like, go into appointments and and say what I was working on and have somebody be like, are you sure you want to do that? Does it sound like yours? It sounds like you're doing somebody else's work. And I could be like, well, I kind of am, like energetically, but it affects me and it affects my children, so it matters.

00;14;27;01 - 00;14;28;17
Sydney
And I don't care if she can't do it.

00;14;28;23 - 00;14;29;14
James
And maybe.

00;14;29;14 - 00;14;30;12
Sydney
She's doing it.

00;14;30;15 - 00;14;37;20
James
And I'm just going to say it is your work for your own self. This is your truth. Totally. That's what we're talking about. Your truth.

00;14;37;20 - 00;14;38;05
Sydney
Yeah.

00;14;38;06 - 00;14;43;21
James
You're finding this. You're discovering it. You are processing through these things.

00;14;43;21 - 00;15;04;15
Sydney
Totally. I think that the like there's of course a whole bunch of importance to me around like it being my mother's story. Right. Or and really everything. I think we've said this before, but everything I do, the only way I feel like I can stand behind it is if I feel like I really know it. So it has to be mine at some point.

00;15;04;15 - 00;15;35;24
Sydney
Right. But the reason that that even works for me and doesn't make me feel like a weird, super self-centered person, is that I just know that most everything I'm experiencing is experienced by so many other people. And at points in my life where I felt really isolated, coming into like new realizations about myself or needing to change how my family sees me, or how my lover sees me, or how my kid sees me or something.

00;15;35;27 - 00;15;50;15
Sydney
Those can be really isolating moments and really sad, or lonely or scary, and I have just a goal of trying to help other people not feel that way. If there's a way for that to be true, you know.

00;15;50;17 - 00;16;16;22
James
Well, it's kind of cool as you're helping yourself, right? And you're putting this art out into the world. It's not as if you're just making it in a studio and it never sees the light of day. You're putting it into shows. It's being hung on walls for people to come in and observe. You're sharing that out that people have a chance to relate to it and see that their truth is your truth, right?

00;16;16;22 - 00;16;27;20
Sydney
Reflection. Yeah. Like that's the goal, right? That people see themselves and that we see ourselves in each other so that we feel less alone in the world.

00;16;27;22 - 00;16;30;03
James
Would like to think we all have empathy.

00;16;30;06 - 00;16;31;16
Sydney
Yeah.

00;16;31;18 - 00;16;57;01
James
And then we start to realize that some of us have forgotten how to be empathetic. And then, you know I don't want to use the word confronted but I then look at work like yours and I've had the privilege to talk with you at length about many of these pieces. And it's not something that's my background, it's not my world.

00;16;57;04 - 00;17;10;29
James
But I can understand through how you have told it. And it gives me a chance to be reminded of the empathy that we need to have for one another, because we may not know what they're going through.

00;17;11;00 - 00;17;43;10
Sydney
Totally. Yeah. I think being incredibly vulnerable in front of others is like really disarming. I think it's a good way to live in the world. I've just always believed that, whether it's in art or some other form, and that is definitely a family trait. Like just really painfully honest. But like with so much love and lots of empathy, like to a fault.

00;17;43;13 - 00;17;47;24
James
Would you say that you're embracing that discomfort for sure?

00;17;47;27 - 00;18;27;03
Sydney
Yeah. Yes. In fact, if it's not uncomfortable, I'm not that interested. It's not funny. Oh, wow. Yeah. Like it doesn't I and I don't know if that's a problem. It might be a problem, but I am bored by my work. If I'm not a little bit naked or a little bit scared of what I'm saying, or a little bit too vulnerable, like I don't know what that is in me, but if I feel like I'm like, I'll catch myself in something, not quite saying the whole truth, and I have to like, go back and do it over again.

00;18;27;04 - 00;18;38;13
Sydney
I have to be like, oh no, that's not actually what happened. Like, this is actually what happened. It's way more uncomfortable than what you just said. It's way less cute. It's way less pretty. It's way less palatable.

00;18;38;16 - 00;19;04;15
James
And I think to that you embrace with your work that confrontation sort of. Right. You're not I use humor. You don't. Yours is this you know gut wrenching is appropriate with some of it because it's moving. It's real. It's true. It's who you are. It's your background. And you didn't sugarcoat it.

00;19;04;20 - 00;19;05;25
Sydney
Yeah.

00;19;05;28 - 00;19;21;29
James
You have left it there for us to be every bit as uncomfortable as you are. And hopefully when that happens, people can see that they do have empathy for this and what that story is.

00;19;21;29 - 00;19;55;04
Sydney
Yeah, I think too, like now since having my second baby and really like being immersed in and sort of female things and all of the female centered sort of issues that are circulating in the world right now, politically and otherwise. I am just really driven to be clear and honest about sort of the very normal, constant tension of being an adult human woman person and a mother.

00;19;55;07 - 00;20;15;20
Sydney
I can't not say some days my kid makes me so crazy, I want to toss him out the window, and at the same time I'm like, oh my God, if this child stops breathing, I will throw myself out the window like I cannot. It's such a wild ride and it's I think it's something that gets like a funny rap.

00;20;15;20 - 00;20;44;17
Sydney
It's too saccharin to talk about motherhood or it's overdone or boring or I don't know, but it's a lot of things. I think there's a lot of stereotypes about talking about it, and I just want to take that and like, go in so hard that you can't help but listen, you know, like, I want to show you that it's not boring and that it's not only not boring, but it's so fierce and brave and terrifying every minute of my life.

00;20;44;17 - 00;20;56;07
Sydney
I cannot I just can't even tell you how terrifying it is to feel like you're half of yourself as like walking around out in the world and could be destroyed at any second, which is a crazy way to think. But it's true.

00;20;56;12 - 00;20;59;18
James
You are making truth be art.

00;20;59;21 - 00;21;01;16
Sydney
Yeah, I hope so.

00;21;01;21 - 00;21;09;05
James
I've been very careful about how I said things because I don't want to be flip. I don't want to come off being humorous because this is serious talking about.

00;21;09;05 - 00;21;12;28
Sydney
And also sometimes funny.

00;21;13;00 - 00;21;14;26
Sydney
So bad. It's funny sometimes.

00;21;14;28 - 00;21;48;19
James
But you give us that chance to uncomfortably laugh at ourselves or at the situation, and in doing it through whatever medium you have chosen for that particular story, you stay true giving that honest event. But it gives us the chance to read it and feel it and determine how we are going to respond to it. And it's interesting too, because we've talked a lot about, you know, there's the male side of this, there is the female side of this.

00;21;48;19 - 00;22;07;17
James
I think you give the male side a chance to actually feel. And see what that is. Is that what you're going for or are you just trying to be that voice to tell that story of what's real? I'm not sure that's fair.

00;22;07;17 - 00;22;34;04
Sydney
Yeah. I'm not, that's I'm not sure. I mean certainly I would always like for people that are not experiencing this particular role to understand more clearly what it's like. And I feel like that is beneficial from every walk of life. Right. Like I'm telling this story because it's the story I know the best. It's the the one I have the most information about.

00;22;34;07 - 00;22;56;14
Sydney
But just in the world, when I go see artwork, when I meet a new person, what I desire is closeness. And closeness comes with truth telling information, vulnerability, connecting. And I want to see that from everybody. And if I'm asking that of other people, then I just absolutely have to do it myself or it's it means nothing.

00;22;56;16 - 00;23;16;21
James
You are visiting these themes and they have a role in your history. How has that caused you to grow as an artist? Because that story is there. It is what it is. You are learning it, you are processing it. But then you turn to a medium.

00;23;16;24 - 00;23;17;07
Sydney


00;23;17;12 - 00;23;24;12
James
And you write that story down. In a way how is that growing you as an artist.

00;23;24;15 - 00;23;49;06
Sydney
That's a good question. I think that it is I mean I don't mean to make small of it, make light of it, but I think that it's just my way of learning. Right. I think all the time about teaching my children to be brave. And sometimes what that looks like is like telling them, oh my God, I got an interview for a job I really want, and I'm terrified.

00;23;49;08 - 00;24;05;02
Sydney
I'm terrified of the interview. I'm terrified I'll get the job and not know what to do with it. I'm terrified I'll get into the interview and lose all my words, or that I'll go through the interview and they'll tell me they think I'm dumb. Like I tell them all the things I'm feeling, all the ways I'm scared. And.

00;24;05;06 - 00;24;22;29
Sydney
And then they watch me go like. And here I go. I gotta go to my interview. Okay, I dress how I feel is going to make me feel the best. I do all the things right. And then they watch me walk through it. They watch me push myself through the fear. They watch me survive it. I come home, I say like I made it, I'm okay.

00;24;22;29 - 00;24;41;11
Sydney
Like, look at me, I'm still here. Oh, that was really scary. And like, we'll see. And then maybe I get the job and I get to celebrate. Or maybe I don't, and I get to show them that I'm really disappointed and sad. I think all of that honesty has a purpose. And and part of the purpose is like gaining a thicker skin myself and growing from it.

00;24;41;11 - 00;25;00;21
Sydney
And watching myself survive it and getting to do it again. And part of it is doing that for them. Like watching them see in their heads like, oh yeah, it is important to walk through being uncomfortable. And each time we do that, we get better at it and braver at it, and then we're better at supporting each other through it, too.

00;25;00;21 - 00;25;18;23
Sydney
I think it's really valuable when somebody tells you they're about to do something hard, to have something to say about it, to go like, what does that feel like today? I'm so sorry. What can I do for you? What would you love to know? That I'm lighting a candle and saying a prayer for you. Would you love me to call you when I know the interview supposed to be done?

00;25;18;23 - 00;25;36;08
Sydney
I feel like it's a well-rounded way to do life, and I do feel like I'm growing from it. What can I lose if I'm telling my story and somebody doesn't like me for it? They were not. Yeah, we were not meant to be good to each other. We were not meant to be close. And I don't want that.

00;25;36;08 - 00;26;07;00
James
I think that's such a great thing. You know how you are raising your two children and how this honesty, this truth in life is right from the get go and we're going to have those uncomfortable times and we're going to have those celebratory times, and we can't just be here for the easy stuff. Again, your art gives us a chance to learn that, which I just feel privileged to have been able to see some of it.

00;26;07;01 - 00;26;27;24
James
Thank you. This question might be a little difficult because it's about objective ness. Okay? The stories that you are finding, you are learning family history. You're finding out about people. How do you be objective or do you feel you need to be.

00;26;27;26 - 00;26;32;06
Sydney
I don't think I need to be.

00;26;32;08 - 00;26;40;08
Sydney
I mean, I don't know that I that's a really good question. I don't mind that it's hard. I just don't know that I have the right answer.

00;26;40;09 - 00;26;47;19
James
But that's okay, because the other thing, too, you've already admitted that, you know, it's okay to say, I don't know.

00;26;47;19 - 00;26;58;01
Sydney
Yeah, yeah, I yeah, I don't I think sometimes I think it's right. I think it's human. I think sometimes I'm objective and sometimes I'm just not.

00;26;58;04 - 00;27;02;22
James
You mentioned the story earlier that you went back and said, nope, I wasn't being honest.

00;27;02;24 - 00;27;03;25
Sydney
Yeah.

00;27;03;28 - 00;27;10;15
James
So you went from being subjective to objective. Yeah. Right. You determined that.

00;27;10;15 - 00;27;10;27
Sydney
Yeah.

00;27;11;03 - 00;27;18;03
James
With that idea. Do you feel that truth then can be subjective.

00;27;18;05 - 00;27;20;13
Sydney
I mean I guess so. Yeah. Yeah.

00;27;20;15 - 00;27;22;00
James
We it's weird.

00;27;22;03 - 00;27;23;07
Sydney
Yeah. It is weird.

00;27;23;07 - 00;27;31;20
James
It's like we walk in and we see a piece of art and we either like it or we don't. Yeah. The person next to us may like it or they don't. Yeah. And that is true about truth.

00;27;31;20 - 00;27;32;05
Sydney
Yeah.

00;27;32;11 - 00;27;34;07
James
They may like it or they may not.

00;27;34;07 - 00;27;55;10
Sydney
I mean this this is a very like I think this illustrates well how I've grown into being comfortable in the gray zone of life. I think I grew up in a system that was like pretty black and white structurally, not really personally with my parents, but like in the community that I was in, pretty black and white, lots of like clear truths.

00;27;55;10 - 00;28;18;19
Sydney
And I just like, feel like I call bullshit on that really fast. I'm just more comfortable with the fluidity of life. I don't think I think is as soon as we learn something, it's just not true. The next day, you know, like things change so fast and so constantly. And I guess there are some things, right? Like I was born on July 10th, like, that's just a truth, right?

00;28;18;19 - 00;28;35;01
Sydney
But I think when we get into narratives and people's experiences, it's so different for, you know, we learned that. I learned that with my siblings. There's five of us and all of us will have a completely different story of the same experience.

00;28;35;03 - 00;28;37;28
James
I go through that with my own. So yeah, it's constant.

00;28;38;05 - 00;28;46;04
Sydney
Yeah. Or with your partner or with your friend that you had a dinner with. You know, like everybody's having such a different way of taking the world in one.

00;28;46;04 - 00;28;52;04
James
It's, you know, we each have our own truth. This isn't about making alternative facts. There's a reality.

00;28;52;04 - 00;28;52;24
Sydney
Exactly.

00;28;52;24 - 00;28;56;07
James
My truth is my truth. Right? And that's it.

00;28;56;09 - 00;28;57;13
Sydney
Totally, totally.

00;28;57;19 - 00;29;02;10
James
But you've made an amazing art practice in doing that.

00;29;02;12 - 00;29;11;13
Sydney
Thank you. It's really like I. Absolutely. I have no choice is how it feels. Like I just can't not do it.

00;29;11;16 - 00;29;36;20
James
We had raston on talking about where he finds creativity. Like as an artist where what do we look to. Yeah. You know, picking inside his brain. You are looking at your own self, your own family, your own history that comes with that good, bad and indifferent totally. It almost feels that you have an endless source that you're kind of driven to get through.

00;29;36;25 - 00;30;01;23
Sydney
It's true. That is such a good point. I mean, I it's funny that you're saying this. I'm just thinking last night. I went into the studio working on work for a very specific show, and I thought I knew exactly what I was going to work on. And I found myself thinking about, this is so uncomfortable for me. I'm going to say, what is so uncomfortable?

00;30;01;23 - 00;30;26;24
Sydney
But now I feel like I have to say it. So I'm at the beginning of a really early menopause and I'm so not happy about it. And for lots of reasons. I mean, certainly that brings up like all of this, the personal struggle I had to get pregnant. But then also just like how the world feels about, infertile beings, like aging, you know, all the things, right?

00;30;26;24 - 00;30;54;08
Sydney
Brings up all the things. And I'm instantly like, I need to do a memorial to bleeding. And I'm, like, turning tampons into stones on a necklace, you know, like, and I'm going to wear it around my neck and it's going to be a memorial and and I'm going to have to say it's because I'm in this phase of life that I feel like it's too early, too soon to wrong, like I'm totally not into it.

00;30;54;11 - 00;31;03;06
Sydney
And what can I I can't pretend like I'm fine, like with it, you know, it's enveloping my thoughts like I have to talk about it.

00;31;03;09 - 00;31;14;16
James
But here you are again, making art with the truth. Yeah, it's a reality. And when you share that story, how many people are going to relate? Oh my.

00;31;14;16 - 00;31;18;02
Sydney
God, I hope so many. Right.

00;31;18;05 - 00;31;38;15
James
Well, we put our art out in the world. It's not always easy when it's not received the way we had intended. But I feel with yours there's more opportunity to understand the story and feel a commonness to it or find empathy for it.

00;31;38;17 - 00;32;15;13
Sydney
Yeah. Or hopefully I mean with this particular issue I'm like there's all these words I can think of that people, society, community, whatever attach to menopause and this particular phase of aging. And what if I could say all of these things and surprise you with the fact that I'm in that? Do you know what I mean? Like, what if you hear the word menopause and you think like dry, old, tired, done, boring, whatever, right?

00;32;15;16 - 00;32;38;03
Sydney
And instead I'm like, but my life is still, like, wild and ferocious and full of young children. And like, I have a lot of life to live. And I'm also going to deal with, like, grieving this phase of my life that's passing, right? But like, I can do both. I can still go out dancing. I can still be, I don't know, very chatty with you and do this thing about art.

00;32;38;03 - 00;32;58;26
Sydney
Like, it's not really it's an it's an end to something, but it's not an end to everything. And I don't even feel that yet. Like I'm saying that hoping that I'll feel that way right now. I'm like, this feels terrible. But you know, I'm hoping that it'll change. I'm hoping that by looking at it and also gathering people.

00;32;58;26 - 00;33;05;08
Sydney
Right. Like part of what I'm why I'm talking about it is like, I need company. Well, I don't want to be alone in it.

00;33;05;08 - 00;33;25;03
James
I, I went through leukemia in my late 20s, and you're not supposed to be in your late 20s and have leukemia. I'm supposed to be an old guy. Yeah. When I get this. But that wasn't the case. And I learned through that process. Similar to what you have done with your own self, with your art is I talked about it.

00;33;25;05 - 00;33;43;01
James
And people would be uncomfortable. But I think you are giving space to be able to be uncomfortable. But know that there's a conversation and you can take part in this conversation and you know there's a camaraderie that then happens because there's going to be somebody who goes yeah me do.

00;33;43;03 - 00;33;47;23
Sydney
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. A whole bunch of us.

00;33;47;25 - 00;34;01;01
James
It's not as if the aging process doesn't happen. And it's unfortunate that there are these ideas that it happens in a specific way. And then when it doesn't we panic.

00;34;01;02 - 00;34;14;14
Sydney
Yeah. Yeah. Because that flips our whole idea on its head. Right. Like that. Everything around us has been telling us it's just not true or didn't tell us enough. Right. Like we don't we didn't know. We didn't have any information to go on.

00;34;14;16 - 00;34;40;26
James
I mean, if I listened to that type of truth, I would have never went to art school, ever. Yeah, I would have continued being a finance person and just going to an office 9 to 5. I'm not going to say it sucked the soul out of me, but, if I had listened to everyone, I wouldn't be sitting here now doing what I'm doing, excited about it and art and everything else that comes with that.

00;34;40;27 - 00;34;52;11
James
Yeah, through all of the truths you have discovered with all of the artwork that you've made, what's the biggest lesson you've learned?

00;34;52;14 - 00;35;21;28
Sydney
I mean, I think I've learned so many, but I think for me doing this work in particular the last few years where it's been like so much more full of storytelling, I think I've just learned that. I think it's that I can't stop doing it, that I'm the most fulfilled when I'm being vulnerable and revealing to a point and that, like, we all get through it.

00;35;22;05 - 00;35;36;12
Sydney
Like, I don't see myself getting through things if I don't walk through them, and I don't believe that I am truly walking through them if I'm not processing and saying it out loud.

00;35;36;14 - 00;35;53;04
James
Any other last thoughts that you might want to toss out? If not, it's okay because yeah I would like to jump over. You're going to be in a show that opens in November through December. Tell me a bit about this.

00;35;53;05 - 00;36;24;17
Sydney
Yes. So part of a small collective of six women. The name of the show is close to the skin. And my work fits well in it because all of us are really talking about deep truths, deep hard truths, things that it can't. It's sprung from a sentence from one of the other women kids when they were asked like, help us brainstorm names for a show.

00;36;24;17 - 00;36;27;18
Sydney
And she said, a true thing that can kill you.

00;36;27;21 - 00;36;28;29
James
Whoa.

00;36;29;01 - 00;36;42;17
Sydney
So the collective is called True thing, and this show is close to the skin. And that's like what it is, I think. I think of close to the skin as two close. Right. Like, oh, like it kind of makes you.

00;36;42;23 - 00;36;43;26
James
In your personal space.

00;36;43;26 - 00;36;59;22
Sydney
Yeah. In your personal space, under your skin. Makes the hair on the back of your neck go up a little bit because it's vulnerable. And I think we're all telling our own vulnerable stories. And it's a beautiful collection of work.

00;36;59;24 - 00;37;17;12
James
I can't wait to see it. Yeah, it's going to be at the works when I get it. Runs November 16th. We'll check dates. You can check the notes for the episode, and all of the details, and the link to the show will be there, as well as a link to Sydney's amazing work.

00;37;17;14 - 00;37;28;22
Sydney
Yay! Yes, I'm. I'm pretty certain it's November 16th is the opening, and I'd love to see you there. And I believe it comes down the 21st of December.

00;37;28;24 - 00;37;30;05
James
Right before the holidays, for the.

00;37;30;05 - 00;37;30;23
Sydney
Holidays.

00;37;30;23 - 00;37;41;14
James
When everyone's got so much time. Okay, Sydney, thank you so much for joining me today. I appreciate you opening up and sharing your truth with us.

00;37;41;16 - 00;37;46;17
Sydney
You're always so easy to talk to you. Thanks for having me.

00;37;46;19 - 00;38;15;14
James
That wraps up another iced Americano and this episode of Lattes & Art presented by J-Squared Atelier. We hope it's giving you a deeper look at the artist's journey and the power of embracing vulnerability and creative work. Thanks to Sydney Brown for sharing her unique insights and process through her work. Sydney reminds us of the beauty in revisiting, revising, and continuously learning through art.

00;38;15;16 - 00;38;36;25
James
If you were intrigued by this conversation with Sydney, be sure to check out her work and her upcoming show. The links can be found in the show notes. Thank you for joining us here on Lantz and Art. Please share our podcast with your friends, and be sure to follow us so that you never miss a conversation. Until next time, keep creating.

00;38;36;27 - 00;38;40;13
James
Keep exploring, and keep seeking your own truth.