Living Raw and Real to Unlock Success in Life and business with Business & Fitness Mentor Brenda Breland

Kelly sits down with Brenda Breland, successful online fitness coach and business mentor, for a raw conversation about authentic connection in an increasingly digital world. Their discussion travels from Brenda's transformational journey out of postpartum depression into building multiple six-figure businesses to the deeper healing work that underpins sustainable change in both body and business.

"I stopped coaching fitness and started coaching healing," Brenda reveals, explaining how she shifted from standard workout plans to addressing root causes of her clients' health struggles. This philosophy extends to her business coaching through Build Business Academy, where she creates space for entrepreneurs to grow authentically without forcing them into predetermined boxes.

Both women candidly share their struggles with living authentically, navigating societal expectations, and finding freedom from the constant pressure to chase higher income goals. "If I just show up and be me and make connections, the money will come," Brenda explains, describing her journey to truly believing this principle rather than just saying it.

The conversation delves into the irreplaceable magic of in-person retreats, where the "energy soup" of like-minded individuals creates transformative experiences that digital interactions simply cannot replicate. They discuss how these gatherings fuel creativity and fulfillment in ways algorithm-chasing never could.

Whether you're struggling with health issues, building a business, or simply trying to live more authentically, this episode offers a refreshing perspective on how connection-first approaches create better results than rigid, one-size-fits-all systems. Connect with Brenda on Instagram @balancingBreland to continue the conversation.

Chapters

• 0:05 Welcome to the Manifestation Lab
• 2:15 Meeting Brenda After Two Years
• 3:54 From Postpartum Depression to Online Fitness
• 9:30 Healing Instead of Just Fitness
• 17:30 Living Authentically vs. People-Pleasing
• 29:00 Authentic Social Media Presence
• 37:45 Money Goals vs. Connection-Based Business
• 43:15 The Magic of In-Person Retreats
• 53:00 Discipline, Habits, and Meeting People Where They Are
• 58:35 Final Thoughts and Contact Information

Transcript

Kelly: 0:05

Welcome to the Manifestation Lab. This is your host, kelly Howe. From the grounded science to the mystical and unseen, we're investigating this big experiment we call life and finding what really works when it comes to manifesting a life that sets your heart and your soul on fire. Welcome to the lab. And your soul on fire, welcome to the lab. Okay, so, after a lot of technical difficulties, I am finally able to launch into this podcast with my guest today. I have Brenda Breland here today and, if I'm honest, we've been trying to make this podcast happen for, like I don't know, two years, maybe longer.

Brenda: 0:45

Yeah, girl, I feel like it's been a long time coming.

Kelly: 0:48

It's been a long time coming. We met online as coaches and mentors and just have stayed in touch, off and on through the years, and now we're finally in person, getting to do a podcast together. So excited to be here with you today.

Brenda: 1:03

Thank you for having me. I'm, and what's crazy is like you're literally like 20 minutes away from me. I know.

Kelly: 1:08

I know we're close. It's not like you live in a different state or you know that far away at all. It's just you know life is crazy.

Brenda: 1:15

It is girl, it is especially when you're running an online business. But I, I mean, I think that's kind of where we connected was. We're both doing online businesses and I we know very similar people. I think it's crazy, Like I've talked to so many people that have known you, I'm like I did not know and like Shannon and and um, all of those people.

Kelly: 1:37

So it's, it's crazy how close our, our little groups are. Lots of overlapping circles, for sure. It's really fun. I think that there's a lot happening in. I mean, I'm sure this is happening everywhere, but it feels like like networks are connecting and these, these circles that have been sort of like overlapping but a little bit disconnected. It feels like the health and wellness world is like locking into me right now.

Brenda: 1:55

Are you feeling that too? Yeah, I think a lot of people are like figuring out that there's different modalities and ways to feel better. It's not just meal plans and workouts anymore, and I think you're seeing that shift across the industry in general, which I love that for us.

Kelly: 2:12

Yeah, it's like it's a people first. You know obviously not that the strategy goes away, but it just it feels different right now, Like, like, people are so invested in themselves and coaches are invested in their people in a different way. And, um, I'm just really excited to have you here and talk about what you do, so let's let's talk about your business. You've got a few different facets of your business, so let's talk about what you do and what those businesses look like.

Brenda: 2:37

Yeah, so, um, I do online fitness coaching.

Brenda: 2:38

That's kind of how I got into the industry was, um, you know, I was postpartum and I was like I, you know, I was postpartum and I was like I, you know, I was only given an option after having my son to be on medication for what they consider was postpartum depression.

Brenda: 2:52

And, long story short, I was like, just give me a week to kind of figure this out and see if that's what I want to do. And, long story short, I jumped back into my fitness journey and nine years later, I'm still here and I've turned that into two other businesses where I now help other online coaches and business owners like scale their business and, you know, try to find their authentic space, so to speak, in their industry. So, yeah, it's, it's been a lot of fun. It's definitely grown and changed over the years, but you know, it all started with, like you said, like my want to help other people kind of see how good they can feel and what they're capable of outside of like the standard stereotypical, like fitness program and, like you know, everything that goes along with that.

Kelly: 3:42

I love that. Talk to me a little bit about what your, what makes your process and your coaching different than, like you said, just meal plans and like go work out 30 minutes a day or whatever you know. Basic, basic bitch stuff, yeah, a hundred percent.

Brenda: 3:56

I think the biggest thing is, you know, like I really say now, like I stopped coaching fitness and I started coaching healing, and for me it comes down to like we can cram as many workouts and meal plans into our day as possible and like, let's be honest, most of that shit is free on the Internet anyways, but that's not what's making people heal and feel better, Right, like it normally. For me, fitness was like the open, like the gate, to like truly seeing how my body can heal and how my mind can heal and how my nervous system can heal, and like all of these things. And as I've gone through that, that's kind of how I've shifted and I think I differ in that aspect of like, yeah, we're going to lose weight and you're going to feel better, but that's like a bystander of us healing your body Right weight and you're going to feel better, but that's like a bystander of us healing your body right and looking at these symptoms and things that you're experiencing like on a daily basis. So you know it's taking the symptoms right. It's actually looking at like why are you not losing weight? Why are you holding weight? Why do you have horrible periods? Why do you have acne, inability to or anxiousness, low libido, like these are all signs of something, or body trying to tell us something.

Brenda: 5:08

Um. So instead of just saying like, hey, let's fix your weight loss problem and let make you lose weight, let's fucking get to the root cause of why you're having that issue and get you feeling better. And I think that's really the difference in how you know. My quote unquote fitness program, which is that's what I. You know what people view it as is different from other people in this space.

Kelly: 5:28

I fucking love that, brenda. Like I, as you're talking about it, it's making me tear up because it's it is so much about the deeper healing journey for people, whether it's your body or, like you said, you're working on your anxiousness, like it's not disconnected, it's not separate, it's all one mind, body, spirit thing that's working together. And I just I love that you're taking that approach. So if, if it doesn't feel too vulnerable, could you talk to us about, like that, that day that you go to the doctor and you're dealing with postpartum, like, what kind of things were you specifically dealing with during that time that made you like I have got to make a change or I've got to, I've got to figure this out?

Brenda: 6:05

So I like there was like this one moment for me and um it, it uh cracks me like it's it's hard to even talk about still, cause I remember how I felt in that time, but that's why I do this, cause I remember how shitty I felt. But I was sitting on my couch and I was watching my kids, um, like my son like I think, three months old, four months old at the time, maybe five, my daughter was two and they're like laying my son's laying on the floor doing his like tummy time, and my daughter's there, and I was sitting there and I just like I don't know how to explain it other than like I just felt dead inside. I'm like, okay, like I have these kids I have, like just felt like I wasn't happy in anything you know, like it was almost like I was faking it to a point of like, oh great, like you have like all the things that look so perfect from the outside, but I was sitting there thinking like I don't even. I don't even recognize myself. I don't recognize the life like I want to feel happy right now. I should feel happy, but I don't. And the life Like I want to feel happy right now, I should feel happy, but I don't and, um, that's whenever I went and I talked to my OB and um, that's when she was like you know she's, she's like I think you have postpartum depression and blah, blah, blah.

Brenda: 7:18

And I, I know, you know, I'm a very anxious person, I'm very like I am a grinder and I'll like I know my personality, um, but in that moment when she's like you know, I just think you need this medication, I, and I think medication is there's a time and a place and there's people who need it. For me, I didn't feel like that was going to fix my issue. Like I felt like it was deeper than that, like I was like this is more this. This is way more than this. This is a symptom, as like things are stacking up yeah, you know what I mean.

Kelly: 7:46

I had the exact same experience, where I knew I wasn't myself and mine showed up.

Kelly: 7:52

I would say, looking back, there was definitely depression mixed in with it, but mine was definitely like a physical hijacking anxiety where, like my body would shake and my heart would pound and like I would break into a sweat or I would get really cold and I just felt like completely out of control with my body. And I finally got to the place where I realized that the stress had been compounding and that I wasn't quote unquote fine, like I wasn't fine, like telling myself I was fine. And I did the exact same thing where I was like I have this beautiful house, I have this amazing husband, I have the kids, I have this cool car and like this career, and you know, I just I was shooting myself like I should be grateful, I should be. I just didn't feel it inside, but I had the exact same feeling, like there's something that's causing this.

Brenda: 8:41

And.

Kelly: 8:41

I just had this like like push away from the idea of doing medication, and I'm with you. I feel like there's a time and a place. But what breaks my heart is that so many people don't realize it's an option to heal out of that and to heal through it. First, I mean, maybe not for everyone, maybe that's not like a hundred percent blanket statement, but but you can heal through it. You can, you know. So I love that we're talking about this, because I know that there's thousands, millions of women experiencing that and like not understanding why they're. You know, we know, right, that mindset is so important and that gratitude is so important. But when it you can't organically feel it and we're just trying to, like you said, force it, there's just something else going on.

Brenda: 9:21

Yeah, and I think you know, like you said, the mindset and the gratitude, at that point in my life I didn't value that Right, like I was like, oh, that's like woo, woo. You know I'm like I'm not doing that, I'm not writing in a journal, and you know that's OK at that point in time and I know like it was a process for me. But I think, getting into the mindset and the healing and whether it starts with fitness or whether it starts with tapping or counseling or yoga, whatever it is, I think the goal ultimately and what, what is lacking is like just a level of self-awareness and like knowing who you are and what makes you happy and how to just be okay being that Cause we're like in a society that's like go to work, do all these things and do all that, and like that's you're checking those boxes and you should be great. No, that doesn't fucking work.

Kelly: 10:19

And that's why so many people are miserable and it's just it.

Brenda: 10:21

People are miserable and it's just, it's frustrating. But I also know, like you know, that's why we do what we do is like we share our journeys and we share our vulnerability, hoping that even if you just take a tiny bit of what we say, or random, like cringy reel that we post online, that it might inspire you to like take one small step into like really healing and whether that's mindset, body, you know any of those things?

Kelly: 10:48

Right, all of it. And I'm glad we're talking about this, because I was actually the opposite, where I already valued the mindset work. I had already gotten into things like the law of attraction and I was already really keyed into. I mean, obviously not to the degree I am now, but I was already interested in that and what's different about where we were, but like the same is that I did value it, but I was doing all this. Oh, I just need to shift my thoughts.

Kelly: 11:07

I just need to think more positively and that's all important, you know, but that's kind of my soapbox is that? It's like if you are catching your thoughts and you're reciting affirmations and saying I'm so grateful for my life, but you feel nothing inside when you say it, then you're lying to yourself. Yeah, it, then it's. Then you're lying to yourself, right, like so. I was in a different position where I was like I was trying so hard to mindset my way out of it and I had done nothing to deal with my body and my anxiety and my stress.

Brenda: 11:33

Yeah, it's wild. We were like both on totally opposite sides and like basically came to the same place and here we are. Yeah, I know it's awesome.

Kelly: 11:41

It's awesome, and so there was something that you mentioned. It was you said you know we need to find out who we are on the inside, and and what strikes me is so powerful about that is that I feel like that's one of the biggest things when, when I start working with women and I went through this journey is recognizing all of the thousands of places every single day that I speak for someone else to make them comfortable, or where I would take actions for someone else or pull away from something that I wanted to do because it made someone else upset or uncomfortable. Right and like living our lives for other people. Were you doing that as well?

Brenda: 12:17

Oh girl, yeah, I mean, I feel like I was like because I jumped into the online space. You know, I've always been very like quirky and fun and like kind of like what I would consider a little out of the box, you know, considered standards, which I don't view it as that now. But going into the online space, I'm like, oh, I need to show up this way and I need to do this. And like being knowing that I wanted to build that business. It was like for two to three years, I was just trying to carbon copy out their people. Well, that was manifesting itself like its way into my life and all these aspects.

Brenda: 12:50

And again, even though I was like, hey, I'm getting out of this and I'm going into this business, it's going to make me happy and it did I quickly found myself trying to like fit into more boxes. And then again I'm like why the fuck am I unhappy? Why, you know, I have the business now and I'm still unhappy. And that's when it was like for me. I was like I, I can't, I can't do this anymore.

Brenda: 13:09

Like I have to like, if I want to get online and I want to say something, I just want to be able to fucking say it, like I don't, it doesn't matter if it's, you know, if it's sailing, selling or whatever. I just want to create like a space for myself to where I can just be Yep, and that took time, like it wasn't just a switch right, like I think I'm still learning through that. Like, like even this year as much as like even dressing, I'm like I just want to dress the way I want to fucking dress and like make myself, you know, and it again it's, I think I think, healing and is so fucking fun whenever you literally sit and think, what can I learn about myself this year? What can I learn about myself? Or how can I do something that I've been wanting to do? Or like, in the back of my head, I'm like, oh, I want to do that and just fucking do it and see what happens and just fucking do it.

Kelly: 13:54

Yeah, just do it. It's beautiful. I mean everything you're talking. There's so many places where I've I feel like I'm so expanded in that. And then social media is a place that I really struggle, and I'm bringing that up because I feel like you are somebody that I watch and I'm like, yes, I want to. I want to be that free out there.

Kelly: 14:20

You know, whereas I think pretty much when I'm in person with people and I'm in conversation, there's not a lot that I hold back, but for some reason it's like it doesn't land the same on social media. So can you speak to that at all? Cause I love, I love, like I love watching what you put out and it's like what comes to mind is the one that you did the other day where you're like eating I don't know, it was like Chinese food out of a styrofoam and you're like I'm just going to show you, bitches, what it looks like to show up authentically and I was like God, I love that so much. But but, if I'm honest, it's really still a challenge for me even though I've come so far, but it's still a challenge.

Brenda: 14:53

What I love is like I'm going to keep going to that. So like we're so opposite which is funny, because I had my turning point for me was totally opposite, because I went to a conference and I walked into the room and I was around a bunch of people that were like what I considered as mentors, right, and one of them came up to me and they're like I expected you to be like way more, like just you, and I'm like I'm not gonna lie, I'm like a little intimidated. They're like why no? And I was like, well, fuck, like I'm showing up online as like my normal self, and then I get in these rooms and I'm like, hmm, tame down, cause like there's people you know. So like that was my shifting point. So it was a little opposite.

Brenda: 15:32

But yeah, so showing up online for me is like, like I said, I had to give myself the permission and set business goals aside, and I really do think that matters, because when you're growing a business online and you're trying to grow a brand, everyone wants to tell you like you have to treat it this way, you have to do this. Well, it just doesn't work for me. I'm not saying it can't work for the people. It just doesn't work for me. But, like, for me, relatability and connection is so important and that's why I post the way I do.

Brenda: 16:00

I'm like, okay, like if I'm sitting in my car eating my random meal, waiting to get pick up my kids and like literally looking for my cell phone that's in my hand, at the same time, other people are feeling that same thing. Yeah, so I'm like I'm just gonna fucking post this right and that's, and I like I truly enjoy being on social media so much more now, because it's like I'm not like, yes, I'm still strategic with what my goals are for social media, but I don't have like guidelines, like if I feel like posting something one day, I'm going to fucking post it and see what happens. You know, I mean it's like at this point, I don't have anything to lose with my social media account. Social media account, like if I'm inspiring or someone like feels happy or feels any type of emotion that could possibly help them move forward or realize something or whatever, like that's my goal.

Brenda: 16:48

I don't need to make a sale on the other side of it. I really don't. I just want to enjoy what I'm doing and connect with people. That's like all my goal is anymore.

Kelly: 16:56

Well, and that's probably why you've been so successful online, because there's not that, that desperation behind it. You're using it as a creative expression outlet, um and it, and also, obviously, as a business platform. Yeah, I mean, don't don't get me wrong.

Brenda: 17:11

You know, like I'm not even the last year I had to have some serious conversations with myself and I think I posted this is like my growing a business is important, right, and I want to make money. I grew up with very little, right like it. I. I know what it feels like to have nothing and I know what it feels like to have your card declined and be scared to even buy groceries.

Brenda: 17:31

But, like, at some point, you know, I had to realize like, okay, like I can't keep just wanting to make more money in this business. I can't keep doing that and make more money in this business. I can't keep doing that. And I I think that's when it switched for me is like, if I just show up and be me and make connections, the money will come to me, like that will happen. And that's, for me, was probably one of the hardest things to actually believe, cause I could say that all fucking day long. But actually believing that is a whole other thing and I think that's something I didn't even really. I would even say the last eight months, eight to twelve months was like when I actually started believing it and being like, okay, like like this is real.

Kelly: 18:12

I've been, I've been taught this, I've been thinking it, I've I've embraced the, the concept, but now you're like truly living.

Brenda: 18:18

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like I, everything, I'm very much, I believe like everything is like leading me in the direction of where I'm supposed to be Right. So like I think I, that mindset served me for some reason for that time and obviously it made me successful and now I can help other people do it. But now, now I'm like shifting into like, yes, I can get to goal, but I don't, I don't need, I don't need that, I don't need to chase the money goal to be successful, and I think that was that's a big shift that I've made and I think being authentic online and creating the content, the way I've created it, has allowed me to believe that.

Kelly: 18:51

I wonder if the astrology is influencing a lot of us in that way, because we have just done this huge transition this year in so many ways. You know I can't even really get into, but there's been so many major transitions. And Pluto into Aquarius, I think, is bringing people. We shifted out of Capricorn, which is very like driven business oriented, and not that Aquarius can't be or won't be, but it is way more focused on people and the collective, and so I'm hearing that, I'm hearing that from a lot of women, and you just beautifully verbalized what I think is astrologically happening.

Kelly: 19:32

So it's just it's cool to see it play out in the people around me and myself too, and and I just want to say like I am going through this inner journey right now with my business and with money and having this whole like I'm trying right now I'm really trying to keep my business going enough so that I can write my book, and it's a really weird place to be in. And I just want to talk about it, because every time the universe is like okay, you want to write your book, then it's like my schedule opens up and then I panic over money. Oh shit, I'm failing.

Kelly: 20:04

Oh shit, Right, Right. But then I like reconnect with my spirit guides and I go inside and it's like no, right now there is not a big part of me that wants to be a quote coach.

Brenda: 20:16

You know like that does not light me up right now.

Kelly: 20:24

What lights me up as being an author? Yeah, and so it's just an interesting place, because, in order to step into author energy, in order to step into that version of myself, I have to be okay with not making as much money in my business.

Brenda: 20:31

Yeah, and I think a lot of people don't understand that. Like, there's times, you know, and this is where it's so hard being an online business mentor for me because, number one, it was so hard for me to share how much money I made online because I came from nothing and it was like you. Just you don't talk about that.

Brenda: 20:45

And that was a mindset shift and now I don't mind talking about it Like I think it's empowering. It really is Like I want to talk about that with people if they want to. But the other side of that is like you have to understand that in your business you don't always like it can't always be this grind to make money. Like for me, I can't be super creative in a space where I'm like trying to launch and like do all of these things. I need to allow myself the space. And like I talked about that December, like I basically took off, I didn't post much online, nothing and like it was a mindset of like two days in I'm like fuck, my business is, I'm going to lose all my money and I'm not gonna be able to make my house payment.

Kelly: 21:24

Yeah.

Brenda: 21:25

Yeah, and it's like but is that reality? Like it's probably not. Um, so it's like it's such a hard place to be in, and I'm sure you probably experienced it too, cause you're a business, you know you own a business, while you're also trying to tell people to live in a space where you're allowing yourself the grace. But it's hard because you're talking to people who want to make money and do all of these things, but at the same time, you're like, hey, give yourself grace, don't show up online.

Kelly: 21:49

Pull back.

Brenda: 21:50

Yeah, pull back, but also we still need to keep momentum right.

Brenda: 21:54

So it's tricky. It's so tricky and there's like difference. You know it's so tricky and there's like difference. You know everyone's at such different places in their journey and I think that's what's important and I don't. I don't it's hard because I don't ever want someone to look at me and be like, oh, you know, she scaled her business to you know 40K months, this fast, and like think that's what they can do, is it possible? Yes, but like do you need to do it that way? Do you need to? No, you don't. But like there's a million different ways to get to that goal and sometimes that goal means hey, if you're struggling, take the fucking time off.

Kelly: 22:24

Yeah, allow yourself the grace Right, because we're just too complex, we're not the same and our souls didn't come here with the same journey. No, you know, and I, I again I'm. I've been reconfiguring this inside of myself recently and being like can I truly like, 100%, love myself and find value in myself, not giving anyone else permission to give me that value? If I decided to just close up shop tomorrow, like, am I as valuable to the world? And I know the answer is yes, but if I'm really honest, that's where I'm like, that's where I'm doing that dance right now is like, oh, I want to push myself to be that person, to be like, yeah, even if I pulled in no money for the rest of the year, am I valuable to my husband, to my kids, to myself, to my friends?

Brenda: 23:08

Like, you know, it's just interesting. It's so interesting Cause oftentimes we, you know our value, we associate with money and it's not, that's not it. I think, like that's like, I think that's kind of the shift for me is like I'm I'm almost trying to shift my mindset to where it's like my value truly is, on connections and relationships, and like, I don't know, it's like when you've out for me, like that fuels me so much, like even just sitting here like this is so much better than being on a zoom oh, like a thousand percent.

Kelly: 23:36

I know it feels so good like the energy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Brenda: 23:40

And I'm such an empath like type of person, like I pull off of other people's energy and like and I think like being able to utilize that in the coaching space and being able to put the value on that. I think it supports everyone. It doesn't just support you, you know what I mean. So it's like you're feeling into other people, which is essentially going to feel you and like it's it. It helps you disassociate that value with money a little bit, or at least it has for me and um, it's. It's been really fun over the last year being able to be like okay, like, like I can go hang out with this person and like let's talk, unless it nothing, none of it has to do with a sale or money or anything, and it's just. It's almost like a, like a burden is lifted off your shoulders. You know what I mean.

Kelly: 24:21

Yeah, no, I'm. I'm getting back to that, too, where it's like I. I love being with people.

Kelly: 24:30

I'm I'm constantly fascinated and grateful for the online space, but my favorite thing to do is to talk to people in person and to speak to groups in person, and so and I I do feel a little bit disconnected from the community right now, where I was doing a lot of talks in town and um speaking and just for whatever reason, over the last few years it just kind of fell away.

Kelly: 24:47

And so this year that's definitely like on.

Kelly: 24:50

My vision board is to get back in front of people, to do this with people in the same space, so we can be in each other's energy and it's just, you know, and there was something else you said, brenda, I just want to, I just want to like highlight, and that was that you know you're pouring into connection, that it that is truly like what your focus is, and I think that that is why you can talk about how much money you make. And it doesn't like, at least for me, cause I I follow a lot of coaches and mentors and there's sometimes when it comes off and it's just like the energy behind it feels different and I think that's why it doesn't come off as like ugh icky at all, I mean, and I you know like it doesn't at all because, because you're focused on people and the connections, and so you can be like, and I want this for you, I want you to feel this kind of freedom, whether it is 40 K months or 4k months like what is that next level of freedom for you?

Brenda: 25:41

Yeah, and I think, like the with that connection too, I think the biggest thing is like getting people to see what they're capable of, right, like your goal. Your goal shouldn't be to do what I did. Your goal should be to like build what, what, what you truly want Right. And I think part of like the coaching journey whether it's fitness or business that I love so much is like both of those are like gates to seeing what you're capable of. Cause it, like it fuels people. I'm like, okay, if I can get you to see how how much control you have over your body and how good you feel, you're going to see, oh, I can, I can maybe get a different job, or I can build my business, or I can travel if I want, or open up an Airbnb Right. And it's the same thing with your business. When you see you know, oh, I can make a thousand dollars a month, even if it's just that one first goal, you're like, oh, and I think I, I realized that too.

Brenda: 26:32

And I think, like again with I'm, I'm so big on the connections because it's like, if you don't know, if I'm trying to coach your work with you and I don't know who you are, at least I'm not willing to try to know who you are at the core.

Brenda: 26:47

How am I going to get you to that next goal, whether it's your body or your business, right? So like that to me is why. Why that connection is so important is because, like I was in those boxes in my my life and my business my goal yes, I have a strategy that I that I know works, but my goal with both of those is never to like put you into the box. It's to like get to know you so I can say, oh okay, this works. Here's how I think it would work for you. Like, what are your thoughts? Right? And I think that's how connection kind of builds into the businesses. For me is to like be able to build the connection, help empower them, show them how they can get results and hope that they like fucking take that and run with it.

Kelly: 27:26

Yeah.

Brenda: 27:26

Whether it's with me on their own, whatever they do with it. You know, and I think that's how I kind of view that connection, like kind of filtering into the other people and in my business and all the things Like they're paying it forward.

Kelly: 27:38

Yeah, energy, yeah, it's really beautiful. Have you been in I think you just said you did have you been in coaching, mentorship um relationships? That felt like someone was trying to cram you into a box. Cause I have so many and I feel like it scarred me a little bit. Oh, the PTSD.

Brenda: 27:55

I was just like you have coach PTSD, um, which like and I'll be honest, like, not like I. I think this is why connection is important too, because you know who you can and can't work with and, like you should as a coach, you should be able to say, look, I don't think we're a good fit because it doesn't benefit anyone, it just doesn't. But I've been in so many. I mean, the amount of money I'm sure you understand that's invested in mentors is astronomical. But that's why I built BBA the way I did and the way why I coach the way I coach is because I'm very type A, like I want someone to say here's what we need to do next X, y and Z. Hey, I know, like I need you to think about this and then get back to me Like I can't take a course or something like that and be like hair piece out, take it and implement it. It just doesn't work for me. Um, so that's why I built, like my programs the way I built them. But yeah, I girl, I've I mean, I invested $7,000 into a mentor.

Brenda: 28:49

She was the person on the sales call with me, right Like she's. She was very well known. Get into her mentorship. Never saw her again. Never saw her again. Put her with like assistant. I was with the assistant coaches, um, you know, it was like one of those things. Um, I've never, I never regret a mentorship, never. I've never been like I didn't get anything out of that. I always learned something and I think, essentially like I had multiple mentors that taught me what I, what I needed, and then that allowed me to create something that I think right, even if it's not enjoyable, we see okay.

Kelly: 29:23

Well, I don't want to be that, I don't want to do that.

Kelly: 29:25

I went through an experience with that, even with um subscriptions, cause I had a membership for about eight months and then it's kind of a long story, but I had some like major tech issues with the system I was using.

Kelly: 29:35

So I was like I have got to close this down and reboot and I just, on the other side, decided I'm not going to reboot, I'm going to, I'm going to work on some other stuff, um, but I realized, like right before I started the membership, I was getting all these things from the universe and people talking about how much they hate memberships and how much they hate subscriptions and they hate this and the other, and so I started paying attention. I was like they don't hate memberships and subscriptions, they hate the sleazy way that, like people slide it in under the radar and that make it so difficult to get out of a subscription. So it was like I took all that and I was like now I can create something that is what I want and doesn't feel icky and sleazy because it's not going to it's. I'm not going to be sleazy about it Like if you want out, this is the way you get out, and I'm going to continue to remind you of that the entire time because I'm not trying to get you to forget.

Kelly: 30:24

Like is what? So many subscriptions?

Brenda: 30:25

seem like they do. They're so bad. It's like how much can we charge where they don't remember it on their bank statement every month?

Kelly: 30:32

Yeah.

Brenda: 30:33

That's, yeah, I was actually just talking to. I met with a BBA client before this and we were talking about, you know, low ticket offers and like that's essentially what they run on, you know, and those low ticket subscription offers, most of them are ran on like. Hey, let's get them in, like they'll feel good, and then they forget about it and we have high, high quote, unquote, high retention. No, that's not retention. You're not working with them. They just fucking forgot about you.

Kelly: 30:55

Exactly, you know.

Brenda: 30:57

So in which that works. I'm not saying that's you know, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it, but that's not for everyone and I think you that's what you did is you kind of filled in a gap of the people who like the accessibility of a subscription but want more of like the actual, like human?

Kelly: 31:11

on the other side of it. Exactly. Yeah, we did both for sure, and it was great. I may I may relaunch it, but one of the things I realized is that I it felt like the there was no end to it. There was no end and I think for some people that feels amazing, but like I need to have a beginning, middle and end and like tie it up and then have the in between of like I'm not doing that for a while.

Kelly: 31:34

And so I don't think I'll ever launch it in the like ongoing membership space again, but I may decide to do it like as a six month, yeah kind of thing.

Brenda: 31:42

So I don't know if that resonates at all, but like if.

Kelly: 31:45

I'm like locked in and there's like no way out and there's no end.

Brenda: 31:48

I'm like that's not, that's not how my energy feels the best.

Brenda: 31:50

I have to, like I I call it a roadmap like I have to know where we're going and the steps that we're taking, and like that's my ideal client also needs to know that. They need to know, like here's where we're going, here's how long it's gonna take us to get there, and then, once we get there, you know. If they want to continue, we have options to be able to continue and decide what our next steps are. But, like to me, that should be a collaborative conversation. It's like OK, once we reach that goal, now what? Or is it like you're on your own, you go and do your your thing, live your life and you know and but yeah, I, I agree. Like it's again subscriptions, it's a. It's not a one size fits all thing that's, it doesn't work for everyone.

Brenda: 32:28

Well and.

Kelly: 32:28

I'm super jealous of the people that it does. Like I really want that to work. Like I want to just set it up and pull people in.

Brenda: 32:33

I want them to want to stay forever. Yeah, you'd be anxious on the other side, cause you'd be like no one's talking to me and like this person hasn't checked in. You're like checking your roster every day like I haven't talked to this person. It's so true, like what'd you do.

Kelly: 32:41

All day I messaged clients to see what they're doing, exactly because I need to connect with people. Yeah, I can't. I can't just feel like I'm floating out here yeah by myself.

Brenda: 32:51

So yeah, so a question for you, right yeah so you said connection and you were talking about that. So like, are you doing your retreats again this year?

Kelly: 32:57

like, like, what are you doing with that? So funny that you ask Okay. So I talked to the other women. The first one that we did was two years ago. This has been evolving right. So, two years ago, we launched the Wild Expansion Retreat. It was incredible. I instantly was like I want to do that again. But I did it with three other women and they all have big businesses and this has been like my dream.

Kelly: 33:18

They haven't been dreaming of hosting retreats for their entire career, but I have been like this is what I want to do so.

Kelly: 33:25

For me it was like obvious, we'll just do this again. Well, I don't think that the other three are going to continue with the retreat. Last year we just went back to the same house just as friends and did a similar experience, but it was just as friends and it wasn't like me organizing it. Um, I'm like right now, probably in the next week, trying to decide if I'm going to do a retreat in September and do the wild expansion retreat, just just hosting it by myself.

Brenda: 33:49

So that'll be. Yeah, girl, I love retreats, like I. There is nothing better than getting that energy in the same room for days and going through different experiences. And I've been to so many different retreats, you know, like I've done the wellness retreats, I've done the breath, the ayahuasca, I've done all of those things and every single time like it's like a transformative experience. It doesn't matter if it's just business or a healing type of retreat, it's just like nothing replaces that yeah and Wild Expansion was healing type of retreat.

Kelly: 34:20

It's just like nothing replaces that, yeah, and while expansion was really kind of both, we, we- we did, we did both and it was, it was, uh, it was amazing. So, thank you for bringing that up. Maybe that's like a sign that I need to go ahead and just get that on the calendar and do it, but I think so. And and you host retreats also, don't you?

Brenda: 34:36

Yeah, so I do my business retreat for my um business coaching clients and then, um, we actually have some things in the work for a wellness style retreat, um partnering with someone, um, which I haven't even I haven't really told anyone that, but I, like, I love retreats. I I love seeing people in person, and while I will always do my online business, the more I can get in person with people, the the happier I am, and so, yeah, we always do my online business. The more I can get in person with people, the the happier I am, and so, yeah, we always do. We do BBA retreat in Scottsdale. I love Scottsdale.

Kelly: 35:08

I've never been. Tell me about it.

Brenda: 35:10

It's just like. I just love the vibe there. I also, you know, like I. I live in the middle of Missouri and I just think I'm not supposed to live here. I'm telling you I'm not. This is not supposed to live by the ocean. Me too, that's where I'm supposed to be is by water and the sun, like I can't like every winter.

Kelly: 35:28

I'm like why do I?

Brenda: 35:28

do this, but, um, someday, someday, um, but we go, uh, so there's this play, there's business in there, um, I can't think of the name. Oh, stay with style Scottsdale. So they, they have like these massive houses and they're like pretty, like they're really cool mansions with these cool pools and all of this, so we all get to stay in one house, which I love oh yeah, I love that um and obviously like um, travel is a pretty, pretty good there.

Brenda: 35:49

So we all stay in a house and we have speakers come in and like we chill and we all eat together and we go out like to dinner, um, so it's like that. That one is very much like strategic for business, um, which I love. And then, um, like I even like I even just threw on the ideas of like I told one of my friends who owns a business. I was like, hey, how about we just pick a day in november and we say we're going to this retreat any? Uh, anyone else, like business owners or people that want to meet us? Like let's just meet, like that'd be there.

Brenda: 36:18

Yeah, amazing yeah, just like get in the same room with people.

Kelly: 36:22

It doesn't even have to have an agenda more of like a mastermind kind of vibe where you just get together and hang and then, like I think, when you're with those kind of people, those business conversations and personal growth and healing conversations happen organically oh, it's so organic and that's that like.

Brenda: 36:37

That is like you sometimes get more out of those types of conversations than you do. Like these conferences I got goosebumps when you said that.

Kelly: 36:46

Yeah, it's like it's so true, it's magic. It's magic that happens. And I think when there's not the pressure on it to like, ooh, let's talk business, then it just happens.

Brenda: 36:54

Yeah, you leave and you're like, oh shit, okay, like I did, I came here to like just chill and be around people that are like minded and I left with like okay, a whole new like understanding of whatever it is you know. But yeah, it's like you just get putting yourself in those rooms you know what I mean. Like it's sitting at tables with people that you know are doing the same thing you want to do, or or even the ideas. Do you know what I mean? So many people are so like can't even imagine it and it's like, even if you can just imagine that, like it's like I can get something out of it.

Kelly: 37:25

Yeah, A hundred percent. I was just thinking too. One of our, one of the women that went to the retreat, said it best. She was like I, just she's like, I'm excited about the soup, like the energy soup of everybody. Cause everybody's different and the soup is always different, no matter what conference you go to or retreat you go to and it's true, it's true.

Brenda: 37:41

The soup, oh my god, I love that.

Kelly: 37:43

I do too. Yeah, I love it. It's stuck in my mind. I'm excited about the soup now I'm gonna.

Brenda: 37:47

I'm like I'm gonna need some energy soup exactly I know.

Kelly: 37:51

I'm with you, though I, if I could do retreats, probably three times a year, four times a year, even if I could build my life to do that, then I will, because I love to travel.

Kelly: 38:00

I'm with you I love the sunshine, I love the ocean, water in general and I love to be around people and have those thought-provoking, deep healing, just you know, really, really raw and authentic conversations and even as you were talking, I was like, yeah, it's like those moments when you're like cleaning up the kitchen and somebody tells a random story about their kids and their dog and you, just you get to know people in a way that you just cannot do online.

Brenda: 38:29

It's just not the same. No, or even in conference style conferences. Yeah, you don't, you don't get it. You know what I mean. It's like when there's that rigid agenda that you're following you have to meet here and have to meet here you, just you miss out on a lot of like the the depth of the conversations that you could essentially go get in. And yeah, yeah, no, I think you definitely need to host a retreat so I can come, okay Sounds amazing, I know I was thinking maybe we need to start planning one together.

Brenda: 38:52

That would be an awesome awesome combination.

Kelly: 38:55

So I want to like this is a very personal question that I want to ask you about. Um, I just turned 45 and there's this whole thing that happens around 45 and it's called perimenopause. I know you're not there yet Do you work with perimenopausal women?

Brenda: 39:11

I do. I do so. Perimenopause is so interesting, cause I was actually just talking to someone about this. It's like everyone's body is so different. Um, I mean, I don't, I don't. Are you still having a cycle? I am, but it's like not normal, you know irregular yeah.

Kelly: 39:30

Yeah, so have you done a full panel recently, not recently, yeah, not well, not not a hormone. So I have a doctor, I work with Dr Knittler and Jeff city?

Brenda: 39:35

I'm not sure.

Kelly: 39:36

So he does some of them, but I haven't like I haven't had my cortisol tested in probably four years yeah.

Brenda: 39:41

So yeah, I perimenopause is such an interesting um thing because I mean, I've had clients that have been quote unquote in menopause and we get their cycles back and we're back to like, quote unquote, they're optimal. I'm not going to say normal Cause I think normal there is no normal, there is an optimal for your body and that's, that's bioidentical to you and you only um at any age, at any age.

Brenda: 40:03

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I think you know with with perimenopause, I think it's something like a lot of people like freak out about, but like essentially you know you can go get labs done if you think you're in that spot and like, most of the time, even if you've had like a crazy drop in progesterone, those are easy things that you can. You know even castor berry, like we can do natural supplementation to help bring those levels up, even if you don't. You know TRT, hrt, those things are options. But what people I think a lot of people don't understand, is like even knowing that data gives you so much control, like it's like oh, okay, well, I'm estrogen dominant, I have no progesterone, no testosterone. Okay, here's why this is happening. Or maybe your, your estrogen and progesterone is tanking, which is typically what happens. You can supplement those things in or help drive your body to naturally start reproducing that again. Um, and, like you said, cortisol stress has a plays a big role in your body it's.

Kelly: 40:57

It's interesting, cause I've been on the hormone wellness journey for so long and um, it's just it. There's something. It just changes. It's like it's like the things that you used to do, to like be a certain feeling or shape will even say just, it's just different, yeah.

Kelly: 41:16

And so I'm I'm kind of in that space where I'm like okay, what is it? Because I've taken supplements and herbs and I've worked with many, many different doctors and I've also been on this thyroid hypothyroidism journey for over 20 years. So it's an interesting thing because there's such a surrender that comes when you know that your body is like I'm going to start this process, whether you like it or not.

Brenda: 41:44

You know what I mean.

Kelly: 41:45

It's just, it's a different, it's a different, I don't know. It's a different mentality for me.

Brenda: 41:50

Well, you have no control right. So it's like you. You do have to surrender.

Kelly: 41:53

Yeah.

Brenda: 41:54

If you know, then there's, like you said, like, like we talked about, there's so many different directions you could go with it. It's like you know it's it's truly listening to your body. It's like what is your body telling you and what are you going to choose to do with it? But I didn't. So. Are you on thyroid medication then? I am now yeah.

Kelly: 42:11

I've been on and off of it for years because it would make me feel so bad. So I've tried. I started with levothyroxine, you know Synthroid. And then I've done Armor, I've done Nature Throid, I've done regular, just T3.

Brenda: 42:26

I've done, you know I mean I've done like compounded.

Kelly: 42:30

Have you ran a GI map?

Brenda: 42:31

No, tell me about that, okay, so I'm not going to get too much into that, just because it's like I could talk about it for a minute. But, typically speaking, anyone who has a thyroid issue, the underlying root cause of that is normally located in the gut. I believe that so like some sort of gut dysbiosis, overgrowth, those types of things.

Kelly: 42:51

Sure.

Brenda: 42:51

It could be in a million different directions, but I would be curious to see you know, if you ran a GI map, what you would see in there.

Brenda: 42:59

That's typically what we do with like patients who want to come off of thyroid medication. We almost always start with the gut. The problem is is with healing. It's a process and a lot of people aren't willing to go through the process and healing the gut is, I will tell you, like I honestly, most of the time, like I pass them off to someone that just does gut, because it's such a process that people you have to be willing to like truly heal Right, right.

Brenda: 43:25

Um, but yeah, so like that's typically what I see, a lot is like anyone who's who has an underlying like autoimmune or thyroid issue. Um, typically speaking, there is oftentimes a um something going on in your gut that's actually fueling that dysfunction.

Kelly: 43:40

Yeah, I totally believe that I don't know. I mean, I've had so many different things run over the years.

Brenda: 43:45

It's so overwhelming.

Kelly: 43:45

But I don't know if I've had that specifically. But I do know at one point, like I did a candida thing because there was some gut dysbiosis with that, and so you know I've been working my gut for a long time. But I mean I still, you know, I'm like, even though I haven't gotten there yet, I know that I've done a ton of healing work, move forward a lot, a lot, a lot, I mean, you know, just opening up that throat chakra, massive massive massive, you know.

Kelly: 44:12

So I it's not. I haven't given up on it and I definitely am somebody who, like I, would prefer to not be on medicine, but I got to the point where it was like I was pretty much dysfunctional. You have to I think I until 40, I managed it really well with diet and exercise and mindset and um you know all the other healing modalities I was doing and then something at 40, I think it compounded with the pandemic like, like just everything went haywire and I just got to the point where I was like having to lay down and take a two hour nap every day, but also not sleeping at night.

Kelly: 44:43

And it was just. You know, all my hormones were whacked because of it. But I just, yeah, I didn't know if you had any like oh girl, I could go into this all day long, believe me.

Brenda: 44:52

But yeah, like you said, it's so individual. You have to do what's best for you and you have to. There's no one size fits all and like that's why, like one thing you know with with health in general is like whenever I talk, like I I want people to understand like there's no bad or good way. There's really not. And it's like you have to do what's best for you in that situation. And the biggest thing is like just listening to your body, listening and and taking what it's telling you and saying, okay, what, what can I do with this? What is my next best step? And it's never going to be one size fit all, but I love that you you hit on the like the throat chakra Cause just recently I started, so I go to St Louis once a month now and I work with um.

Brenda: 45:34

Her name is Bonnie. She does energy work for me, girl. I love it. I am like I've done I'd done the breath work and all of that Right, but she, she does the energy work and, like I, I I'm like now a firm believer in it and just how like I think. I honestly think I it's to credit for some of like the transformation that I've had over the last six months. But like, just like you said, like the inner work and the energy work and working on your chakras and and all of that stuff plays such a big role.

Kelly: 46:07

It's such a huge role because it's like we can get the strategy all day long. But you know, I I'm sure that you have business clients like this sometimes, where it's like I can have people come to me, they want to grow their business but they cannot put themselves out there. So at the end of the day it's like you can have the strategy, but if you can't get on camera and share about what you do, then that is inner work, that's nervous system work, that's energy work, that's healing work. A lot of times it doesn't even start from this life.

Brenda: 46:34

No, it's old, it's old.

Kelly: 46:36

I would love to get that woman's number and just, oh yeah, she's amazing about her.

Brenda: 46:40

Oh gosh, yeah, she's amazing, I actually had them. How I connected with them was I had. I contacted her husband, matt. They spoke. He came to speak at my retreat, um, which they're kind of like they integrate themselves, which is what I love, and they they'll come this year too. But um, and she hosted um some breathwork sessions and stuff while we were there and I left and I was like I have to, I have to see you anymore anymore, so I was like how can I work with you?

Brenda: 47:02

and she's like here's my system package. And I was like done. And I was they have a. She's hosting a retreat in St Louis, um, and she'd be a great person to talk about retreats with yeah, yeah because she travels, her and Matt travel and they, they do that stuff. That's basically what they do too, um, but anyways, they have a retreat in April and I'm super excited to go to it.

Kelly: 47:22

Yeah, I was like that's a no brainer at St Louis.

Brenda: 47:24

It's like you know, like meeting other people I don't know anyone else that's going to be there, which I actually love doing that Um, so it'll be fun, but yeah, I'll have to connect to you.

Kelly: 47:34

Yeah, I can't wait for the soup, the St Louis soup. I love it. I love it. No, it's fun. It's fun to be like far enough away from home and not around people that you know, but close enough that it's not a whole day travel to get home, you know, cause that's the only I love traveling, but that like a full day of it, and then it's like I have a travel hangover for another day.

Brenda: 47:54

So it takes a little bit. I was like playing an extra day if I can. I'm like can I get an extra day in before just for travel, so that I don't feel like I'm missing? Yeah, no, I definitely do too.

Kelly: 48:04

I'm way more high maintenance than I like to let on. But, I need lots of space, lots of time to recover and restore, and I have zero. I'm not embarrassed about it at all. I just need a lot of space.

Brenda: 48:17

I do.

Kelly: 48:18

I do Real quick before we stop. Is there anything else you want to add about like the BBA part of your business and like if somebody's in business and they're wanting to grow, they're wanting to scale, like, talk about maybe a little bit more about the program.

Brenda: 48:32

So BBA is Build Business Academy. So, like I said, I created this program. It was two years in the making. I created it because of all of those kind of not failed mentorships but unaligned mentorships we'll put it that way Um, so I created a space that's like hybrid.

Brenda: 48:50

So I consider it hybrid because it's like it allows um people to, um, you know, have the one-on-one while still maintaining like a price point that allows them to actually scale their business. So, um, it's me inside their business, while giving them modules to be able to connect and um really understand what they need in order to grow their business to the next level. Um, so it's BBAs for anyone who's making under 5k a month. Um, so, um, anyone who wants to grow.

Brenda: 49:21

And then, obviously, after that, I have coaching containers that you know, if you're my private coaching clients or those that are making like 10K, 20k months, and that's really more of like a. It's a strategic partnership at that point, you know, like it's like I'm I'm as close to a business partner as you can get in your business without owing me any of your business when you get to that point. But, but, but yeah, I, bba is like kind of my baby. It was, um, one of those things that I kind of dreamt about doing for so long, and then again turning it into the community of being all those clients have access to the retreat and they get to come to the retreat and be in person, and so it's like again another, another facet to to the community that I'm wanting to build. So, yeah, that's what we did.

Kelly: 50:04

Did you have any sort of internal weirdness around like shifting from solely like the fitness mentorship into like no, I'm going to, I'm going to also coach coaches, because I know a lot of people when they do that there's kind of like, oh shit, am I going to do this? Am I, you know, am I built for this?

Brenda: 50:24

That kind of thing. Did you have anything like that? Or was it pretty seamless? Um, I don't. I don't know if I like. I think I had like the like. Um, you know, I doubted if I was capable of doing it. I knew I wanted to do it. I was like I want to do this. Um, it was more just getting out of my own way. With the mindset side of it is like, is people going to get value out of this? Are they going?

Brenda: 50:40

to get it, and then you know, I built this course and, like I have people going through it now that are getting signing their first five clients in the first four to six weeks, like they're making money, it works, um, so I, I, I knew I wanted to do it, it kind of fell in my lap. To be honest with you, like I had, I, I grew my fitness business and then I had people coming to me and my friends and were like, okay, like how are you doing? And I was helping them and they're like, okay, well, I'm making five to 10 K a month now. And I'm like, well, shit, okay, maybe what I'm doing is working. And then you know, I worked with fit, I worked with private clients for those two years while I was building BBA. Um, and then you know, I, my private, like I said, my private clients now are upwards of 15 to 20 K plus months. So it's like my, what I, what I'm doing, I do believe in. So and I think that's important right.

Brenda: 51:26

Like um, I, I really firmly believe in you have to be a good fit for it, Right, and you have to be a good fit for my coaching, Cause I, I coach a very specific way. I talk a very specific way. I I have to have connection, I have to have the ability to have communication, and I say that to everyone. I'm like you're coming to this container and like we can make 5k a month. I fucking know we can do it. I wouldn't be talking to you if we couldn't. But if you're not willing to tell me what you're feeling, if you're having a hard time, your successes, your struggles, Like it's going to be really hard for me to help you grow this. Because, again, this is not like a box I'm cramming you into. Like I can't make this fit you if I don't know what the fuck's going on. So like that's literally what I tell people. Like that my sales calls people some people probably cringe when they watch my sales calls but I'm like I'm coaching you, like this is what it is, Like let's fucking go.

Kelly: 52:14

Right, right, it's better to just give him that upfront rather than get in the container. And then they're like wait, who is this person?

Brenda: 52:22

Yeah, it removes gray area, right, like, I don't want any gray area. I'm like what you see is what you get. And, um, I think I think when they, when you come into a call with me or you, you're interested in it. It's like I know my ideal client, right Like, if I, if I get someone and I've talked to someone, they're like you know, there's any type of like thought, maybe like that we're not vibing. I'm very much the type person to be like hey, like, look, I believe in what you're doing, but I don't think I'm the right person to get you there and I have no problem saying that. And I have friends in the industry, like I'll pass them off. I'll be like, hey, I think this person would be a great fit for you. I'm going to connect you and like, do that. And I think again, that was scarcity mindset Like I don't have that around it. But again, it's connection. If I don't have that connection, I can't help you grow.

Kelly: 53:11

And it always comes back to that Number one you have to be able to trust each other. It has to flow both ways. 100%, 100%. I love what you're doing.

Brenda: 53:18

I love it.

Kelly: 53:19

I do want to ask you about one more thing, and then I promise I'll let you go Um discipline. Can we talk about discipline? Yes, because I struggle in that area so. I would like will you? Will you? Just, how do you coach your people?

Brenda: 53:34

So I think again, I think this is like discipline for each person is different, right? Um, I'm very much on. I think in order to get to like quote unquote discipline or know what's going to work with you, you have to be kind of like met where you're at Right. So, like I can't say, like if you're saying I'm having a hard time tracking my meals or I've never checked my meals and I don't like it, I can't say like, oh, I need you to do this or you're going to be successful. We have to work up to that, right.

Brenda: 53:59

I think discipline in itself is habits, right, and habits have to fit your lifestyle that you want to live, right. So if you're telling me like I, you know this could go for business or fitness, right, like I want to be lean going into the summer and I want to be making 10K a month and blah, blah, blah, okay, great, tell me what you're doing now. Okay, well, here's what we need to do in order to get there. But how is this going to fit into your life? And I think that's where a lot of people get off, like get stuck or plateau or don't make progress, whether it's fitness or business, is like they're trying to create discipline or habits and spaces in their life. That will never fucking work. It's like trying to like put a puzzle piece in a that in their life. That will never fucking work. It's like trying to like put a puzzle piece in a that will never fit Right, right.

Brenda: 54:42

So, for me, when someone says, like I struggle with discipline, I'm like okay, well, what has discipline looked like to you? Like what have you been trying to fit in? And then saying like okay, well, you're doing it this way. Maybe we do it a little different. Right? So, for example, like simple as like meal tracking in order to know what's going into your body and to have valid data, which you need data at some point in your fitness journey. You don't track meals forever. You have to be able to do that, right? So, like it's like someone comes to me and they're like I don't like tracking macros, okay, great, so let's figure out a way to do it that fits you Right, and then we create the habit which ultimately quote unquote leads to discipline and it can look different.

Brenda: 55:20

So I think it's like again, when it comes to coaching, it's like for me, it's like meeting the person where they're at and like understanding what has worked and what hasn't worked and say, okay, well, let's start here and it has to be. To me, coaching has to be a collaborative experience. I don't like coaching at someone like that works for me, like I have a coach that literally I pay him and he tells me what to do and like I barely ever talked to him. Right, that that's. I've been in the industry long enough I. That's what I need.

Brenda: 55:49

But, like for a lot of people that I work with, it doesn't. That's never going to work. I need to get them to the point to where they feel good in what they're doing and the direction that they're going and they have that momentum and then we can build on it. So I know it's a long, that's a very long answer to your question, but I think discipline is habits, and habits should be fit into your life, where you're at right now and then built on, not crammed in and then hoping that it fucking works because you're going to fail, right.

Kelly: 56:16

No, I think I think that's beautifully described. I think that a lot of my issue is I think freedom is one of my core values and so when I feel restricted by someone else or by myself and I get kind of like you know, but even just as you were talking about it in the meet you where you're at, I think so many times when I have tried to get help from somebody, it does feel very much like it's my way or the highway, and there doesn't feel like there's that middle ground where, where it's like, okay, you're having cause. I think a lot of the other issue too is that I think the like intuitive ADD part of you know, my, my brain can be like focused on a million things that aren't actually in this room you know 100 um and so I think I think, like add is is a part of that as well.

Kelly: 57:03

Where it's like it's just sometimes not uh organic, there's that music again how funny I have never in all I've been doing this podcast for three years I've never had so many weird glitchy things I love it for us, honestly, I know I'm just, we're just gonna go with it. I don't even want to turn it off now because it's like a vibe at this point it's gonna, it's gonna turn off on its own here in a second. Oh funny, okay, well, it's just one of those days. Hey, it's just one of those days.

Brenda: 57:37

I do love music. Jam out some music. I love the song I have before the podcast it's fun.

Kelly: 57:44

It's fun, awesome. This has been so helpful and just amazing to connect and do this in person.

Brenda: 57:50

It has been.

Kelly: 57:51

You're just a lovely soul and thank you. Feels very nice to be in your presence. So thank you so much for your time. Um, how can find you, reach you if they want to connect?

Brenda: 58:01

Yeah, so on Instagram I'm balancing Breland and I'm on all social media is basically that. And then I my website is getting redone new personal brand which I'm excited about, so that will launch soon. But that's Brenda Brelandcom. Don't go there now. It's not. It's not live, but hopefully in the next month or so it will be.

Kelly: 58:25

But yeah, I'm always available if anyone has any questions or wants to just chat, slide into the DMS I'm, I'm always in there.

Kelly: 58:29

Beautiful Thanks, lady. Thank you for being here. Yeah, thank you. Hey again. Just dropping back in to extend a huge thank you for being here and sticking around until the very end.

Kelly: 58:45

I know this episode sparked some serious aha moments, so don't forget to send it over to a friend, family member or even a colleague who could really benefit from this episode, or maybe even one from the past. And here's the really cool part sharing this podcast episode and if you're feeling it, only if you're feeling it leaving a five-star review will help both boost the episode so that we can inspire even more people to unlock a more joyful, free and magical life. Also, don't forget to check out the show notes. I've got a resource bundle down there with free access to courses, meditations, tapping scripts, and you can also find information on how to book a consultation and work with me one-on-one. If that is speaking to you, I would love to connect on my social media channels, so follow along, kelly Howe Coaching on Facebook and Instagram. And this is how. On TikTok, since it looks like TikTok isn't going anywhere and I'll see you in the next episode.