{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":37.29,"endTime":43.849,"body":"[Ed] We recently recorded an episode where we talked about our first full swap experience."},{"startTime":43.849,"endTime":49.61,"body":"[Ed] It was quite memorable for us and a lot of you really liked that episode as well."},{"startTime":49.61,"endTime":53.29,"body":"[Ed] As a matter of fact, it's been our most popular video up to this point."},{"startTime":54.09,"endTime":61.769999999999996,"body":"[Ed] But we had some questions. We had some listener comments that we really think we can address."},{"startTime":61.769999999999996,"endTime":66.57,"body":"[Ed] So we're going to, in this episode, talk about the things that we didn't talk about."},{"startTime":67.529,"endTime":80.589,"body":"[Phoebe] In that episode, I'm excited. I love listener questions and comments because it sparks"},{"startTime":80.589,"endTime":86.509,"body":"[Unknown] conversation and we get to sit here and have more fun conversations with each other."},{"startTime":86.509,"endTime":92.82900000000001,"body":"[Phoebe] Yeah, definitely. Okay, so you're going to read the comment, right? Or the question?"},{"startTime":93.799,"endTime":100.46000000000001,"body":"[Unknown] Yes, I'm going to. All right, so here's the question. This was from The Ranch Hand."},{"startTime":100.46000000000001,"endTime":104.22,"body":"[Ed] It's too bad you didn't discuss the psychological reactions you had."},{"startTime":105.05000000000001,"endTime":111.05000000000001,"body":"[Ed] Seems like for the first time doing that full swap, it was just like a nothing burger."},{"startTime":112.16900000000001,"endTime":117.05000000000001,"body":"[Ed] I was kind of curious which your reactions were to see each other in that situation with another"},{"startTime":117.05000000000001,"endTime":122.809,"body":"[Ed] person. That would have been a great topic as I know people that have tried and some of the"},{"startTime":122.809,"endTime":128.57,"body":"[Ed] emotional stuff that came up around it was pretty intense. All right, let's talk about some of our"},{"startTime":128.57,"endTime":136.41,"body":"[Ed] first time feelings because that was one part of his questions. And I guess the first part of that"},{"startTime":136.41,"endTime":150.68,"body":"[Phoebe] is why did we do it? That's easy for me because we knew them pretty well. We had been on several"},{"startTime":151.399,"endTime":157.639,"body":"[Phoebe] meet and greets. We had been on a boat day meet and greet gathering."},{"startTime":160.6,"endTime":172.47,"body":"[Unknown] So, gosh, I think we had probably spent a good, I don't know, it's hard to calculate how many hours."},{"startTime":172.47,"endTime":179.03,"body":"[Phoebe] We've known them for many, many hours on several occasions. Right, right. So talking with them,"},{"startTime":179.03,"endTime":187.91,"body":"[Phoebe] hanging out with them was really lovely and I felt extremely comfortable around her. And I think"},{"startTime":187.91,"endTime":196.31,"body":"[Unknown] it was mostly, well, it was the both of them, but her first, my comfort level with her first is"},{"startTime":197.19,"endTime":202.709,"body":"[Phoebe] key and it has honestly always been key for me in a lifestyle. If I'm not having a connection with"},{"startTime":202.709,"endTime":210.78,"body":"[Phoebe] the woman, it's not happening. I have to be 100% comfortable with her. I mean, not 100% but"},{"startTime":210.78,"endTime":218.69899999999998,"body":"[Ed] very comfortable. So in your mind, was was it the relationship with the couple or was it more"},{"startTime":218.69899999999998,"endTime":223.019,"body":"[Ed] just the vibe? You know, the hormones were going and everything was super exciting."},{"startTime":224.31,"endTime":229.91,"body":"[Phoebe] It was definitely what I said before, which was the amount of time we spent getting to know them"},{"startTime":231.32,"endTime":238.88899999999998,"body":"[Phoebe] that they were easy to get to know that there was a good match, right. There was a good"},{"startTime":238.88899999999998,"endTime":247.69,"body":"[Phoebe] gel and nice flirtatious vibe that was going on. And it was really comfortable with the wife,"},{"startTime":247.69,"endTime":255.13,"body":"[Phoebe] very comfortable. And I think the environment also probably helped, especially at that particular"},{"startTime":255.13,"endTime":263.049,"body":"[Phoebe] party that night that we decided to full swap with them because it was a comfortable environment."},{"startTime":263.049,"endTime":270.169,"body":"[Phoebe] Well, it was a little uncomfortable for me because there was a fair amount of people I didn't know."},{"startTime":270.169,"endTime":275.29,"body":"[Phoebe] So I wasn't completely comfortable in that home because I'd never been to the home before."},{"startTime":275.29,"endTime":280.65000000000003,"body":"[Phoebe] Right. I've never met a bunch of those people. But that couple that we full swapped with,"},{"startTime":280.65000000000003,"endTime":288.889,"body":"[Phoebe] I knew them and they were my point people to kind of gravitate to. So I guess, in a sense,"},{"startTime":288.889,"endTime":296.89000000000004,"body":"[Unknown] that really helped me be more comfortable because I was gravitating to them."},{"startTime":297.60900000000004,"endTime":303.53000000000003,"body":"[Ed] Yeah, and I was going to say, and I'm pretty sure we mentioned this in the original episode,"},{"startTime":303.60900000000004,"endTime":314.41,"body":"[Ed] and it was we'd spent a long time talking about it and debating it. And they kind of"},{"startTime":314.41,"endTime":325.90000000000003,"body":"[Ed] checked a bunch of boxes for us in terms of comfort level and attractiveness. We just thought"},{"startTime":325.90000000000003,"endTime":330.29900000000004,"body":"[Ed] that they were the right couple to do that. Like if we were going to do it with anybody,"},{"startTime":330.29900000000004,"endTime":334.78000000000003,"body":"[Ed] it was going to be with them. Yeah. Because it just made the most sense."},{"startTime":336.29900000000004,"endTime":344.119,"body":"[Ed] I think we'd spent a lot of time with them, not just familiarity with different events,"},{"startTime":344.119,"endTime":348.119,"body":"[Ed] but like the conversations we'd had with them, like we'd kind of gotten to know them pretty well."},{"startTime":348.119,"endTime":361.319,"body":"[Phoebe] Yeah. Yeah. Which was, I guess, an usual past that point because throughout our journey,"},{"startTime":361.319,"endTime":371.72,"body":"[Phoebe] we've basically just been DTF. We rarely spent that much time getting to know a couple. I think"},{"startTime":371.72,"endTime":379.64000000000004,"body":"[Phoebe] they were rare. Yeah. And honestly, our first time was, was lovely. It was nice. I'm glad it was"},{"startTime":379.64000000000004,"endTime":388.67900000000003,"body":"[Ed] them. Yeah. And to be clear, DTF in this particular instance or this scenario was down to full swap."},{"startTime":389.64000000000004,"endTime":397.85,"body":"[Unknown] brackets because we hadn't full swapped yet. Right. So down to do other shenanigans."},{"startTime":397.85,"endTime":406.97,"body":"[Unknown] Everything. But that right. Right. Right. I remember the next question really in here is about"},{"startTime":407.60900000000004,"endTime":416.35,"body":"[Ed] watching each other. And while it was going on, I don't think we watched each other that much."},{"startTime":416.35,"endTime":420.749,"body":"[Ed] I mean, we kind of looked over to see what was going on. And there was definitely some conversation"},{"startTime":420.749,"endTime":429.95000000000005,"body":"[Ed] between the two couples. But I don't, I don't think I spent a lot of time like watching what was"},{"startTime":429.95000000000005,"endTime":437.58000000000004,"body":"[Unknown] going on. I was pretty focused on what I had going on. I do remember watching. And I remember"},{"startTime":438.54,"endTime":451.189,"body":"[Phoebe] being, it's probably, I don't remember. I do remember watching. Right. Because I remember seeing her."},{"startTime":451.189,"endTime":457.189,"body":"[Phoebe] And I remember reaching over and touching her. Yes. And asking to touch her. And she was touching"},{"startTime":457.189,"endTime":466.14000000000004,"body":"[Phoebe] me. We were holding hands. And I was caressing her. And, but what as far as watching goes,"},{"startTime":467.47,"endTime":477.98900000000003,"body":"[Phoebe] I didn't watch a whole lot of you two having sex. Right. Because I was focused on my own experience."},{"startTime":477.98900000000003,"endTime":485.189,"body":"[Phoebe] Yes. And that's kind of what I was thinking. I did watch you two just a little bit after he and I"},{"startTime":485.189,"endTime":488.869,"body":"[Phoebe] had gotten up. You guys were still going. Of course. Of course."},{"startTime":490.54900000000004,"endTime":500.39000000000004,"body":"[Phoebe] Just been your MO. The most of our, our, our experience. And, and yes, you're welcome to all those"},{"startTime":500.39000000000004,"endTime":511.689,"body":"[Phoebe] ladies. You're welcome. But I will say watching you have sex with somebody else at that point,"},{"startTime":511.689,"endTime":520.249,"body":"[Phoebe] I know for a fact was not a level of comfort for me. And I've talked about this and other"},{"startTime":520.249,"endTime":529.499,"body":"[Phoebe] podcasts before. It really didn't get comfortable for me until, I don't know, six, seven years in."},{"startTime":529.58,"endTime":534.46,"body":"[Ed] Yeah. Yeah. It was a very long time. It wasn't until a couple of years ago, really, that you got"},{"startTime":534.46,"endTime":540.989,"body":"[Phoebe] comfortable with that. Yeah. And it wasn't like we were swinging like once a year or even twice a"},{"startTime":540.989,"endTime":551.5,"body":"[Unknown] year. You were very active. Yeah. Yeah. So I, the reason for that is watching hold my focus away"},{"startTime":551.5,"endTime":558.38,"body":"[Unknown] from my own experience. So I didn't like to do that. Plus, it didn't really do anything for me."},{"startTime":558.38,"endTime":563.819,"body":"[Phoebe] It didn't turn me on. It didn't make me jealous. It didn't make me envious."},{"startTime":564.54,"endTime":574.14,"body":"[Phoebe] It just did nothing. Yeah. So I was usually more interested in what was going on with the other"},{"startTime":574.14,"endTime":582.459,"body":"[Phoebe] woman. I, you know, I wanted to touch her. I wanted to be next to her. And by default, I would,"},{"startTime":582.459,"endTime":586.86,"body":"[Phoebe] I would see what was going on. Obviously, the pleasure you were giving her. But"},{"startTime":587.5,"endTime":594.78,"body":"[Ed] wasn't really like wanting to sing for you. Yeah. Yeah. Whereas the guys are like, oh, yeah, I"},{"startTime":594.78,"endTime":606.199,"body":"[Phoebe] want to watch. Yeah. So it was, it was interesting. And I, I don't, I don't still to this day, don't"},{"startTime":606.199,"endTime":616.51,"body":"[Phoebe] really know what switched in my mind. And maybe it is that we are at a level of comfort with one"},{"startTime":616.51,"endTime":625.74,"body":"[Phoebe] another, what, 12 years in because most people that are age that starts winging have been in 20"},{"startTime":625.74,"endTime":631.419,"body":"[Phoebe] year relationships, 30 year relationships. They've got that bond. They've had kids together."},{"startTime":631.419,"endTime":637.98,"body":"[Phoebe] We didn't have kids together. We weren't married when we started. We didn't have that rock foundation."},{"startTime":637.98,"endTime":645.929,"body":"[Phoebe] Right. So I, you know, I'm guessing that's maybe what it was. I wish I knew what switched in my,"},{"startTime":645.929,"endTime":651.61,"body":"[Phoebe] in my mind, but now I love watching. In fact, I love watching to the point where I will actually"},{"startTime":651.61,"endTime":659.449,"body":"[Unknown] just sit back and eat the popcorn and not even participate. I'll just watch. It's been a pretty"},{"startTime":659.449,"endTime":667.5889999999999,"body":"[Unknown] big shift recently. Which is nice. For sure. It's fun. I, I actually enjoy that now. Yeah. You"},{"startTime":668.549,"endTime":676.169,"body":"[Unknown] really like it. It's a lot of fun for you. Yeah. And when I was describing how I, I didn't watch,"},{"startTime":676.169,"endTime":683.419,"body":"[Ed] I think a lot of it was the environment and other than kind of looking over to see what was going on."},{"startTime":683.419,"endTime":689.74,"body":"[Ed] But I think a lot of it too, I, I do enjoy watching and kind of sitting back on the bed and"},{"startTime":690.54,"endTime":697.74,"body":"[Ed] watching you do your thing. And that kind of didn't happen that night all that much. I think we were"},{"startTime":697.74,"endTime":702.78,"body":"[Ed] really kind of compartmentalizing and, and being focused on what was going on. So"},{"startTime":703.26,"endTime":716.439,"body":"[Ed] we need your help so that your community, the very one you love and have so much fun with can also"},{"startTime":716.439,"endTime":722.9689999999999,"body":"[Ed] find our show. Here's a really easy way to do that. If you're listening on Apple podcasts or"},{"startTime":722.9689999999999,"endTime":730.0889999999999,"body":"[Ed] Spotify, hit that follow button and leave us a rating. If you're watching on YouTube, subscribe"},{"startTime":730.0889999999999,"endTime":736.329,"body":"[Ed] and turn on notifications. We can't emphasize enough how much this helps the swing our community."},{"startTime":736.41,"endTime":742.89,"body":"[Ed] And it truly is up to you to make that happen. It makes a massive difference in whether new listeners"},{"startTime":742.89,"endTime":749.929,"body":"[Ed] can even find us. And here's the thing. When someone searches Swinger Podcast, the algorithm"},{"startTime":749.929,"endTime":756.89,"body":"[Ed] doesn't care how good our content is or how long we've been around. It only cares about ratings"},{"startTime":756.89,"endTime":764.949,"body":"[Unknown] and reviews. We'd appreciate it. And your community will really appreciate it. Thanks for listening."},{"startTime":769.51,"endTime":774.549,"body":"[Phoebe] There, well, and our brains were overwhelmed with all the stimulus. There's so many things that"},{"startTime":774.549,"endTime":779.03,"body":"[Phoebe] are running through your mind and of course, you know, hormones coursing through your body that you,"},{"startTime":779.91,"endTime":788.23,"body":"[Guest] you, you kind of just are in it. Yeah. I, I did want to articulate a little bit better what I"},{"startTime":788.23,"endTime":798.919,"body":"[Phoebe] like about watching now. Sure. And it, it comes, I think, to that concept of compersion, where"},{"startTime":800.04,"endTime":810.04,"body":"[Phoebe] I can truly sit back and enjoy your enjoyment. Oh, yeah. And enjoy the enjoyment of somebody else."},{"startTime":810.679,"endTime":818.439,"body":"[Phoebe] Mm-hmm. That's receiving pleasure from you. And hearing those sounds of her pleasure and knowing"},{"startTime":819.48,"endTime":826.919,"body":"[Phoebe] exactly what you're doing to her gives me joy, gives me pleasure, gives me satisfaction that,"},{"startTime":827.959,"endTime":835.079,"body":"[Phoebe] that she's deriving pleasure from an act that you're doing. And I, I don't know, it just makes me"},{"startTime":835.079,"endTime":840.679,"body":"[Phoebe] warm and fuzzy. And that I, like I said, believe is that the compersion aspect."},{"startTime":840.679,"endTime":845.48,"body":"[Ed] Yeah, it's like a public service, you know, we're doing, we're doing a good thing for the community."},{"startTime":847.48,"endTime":852.52,"body":"[Phoebe] It is. We're, we're building this way or community one, one couple of times."},{"startTime":854.829,"endTime":858.03,"body":"[Phoebe] I said it a little differently. Yeah. Yeah. You got that."},{"startTime":858.11,"endTime":869.419,"body":"[Ed] Mm-hmm. So one of the things that was in this original comment was about, like the emotional"},{"startTime":869.419,"endTime":876.54,"body":"[Unknown] content of, of what we were feeling at the time. And I, I don't think we had really strong"},{"startTime":877.799,"endTime":887.319,"body":"[Ed] feelings. Like the jealousy didn't come up. Now, envy didn't come up. And I think part of that was"},{"startTime":888.12,"endTime":895.48,"body":"[Ed] we'd probably over-processed it in our heads in terms of like how we wanted it to go and who it was"},{"startTime":895.48,"endTime":902.04,"body":"[Ed] and all of that. Like we'd, we'd kind of played it out how it was going to go in our heads. And it"},{"startTime":902.8389999999999,"endTime":907.88,"body":"[Ed] went really well. Now it could have gone poorly and it may have changed our situation,"},{"startTime":908.439,"endTime":913.959,"body":"[Ed] which is probably what happens with a lot of people where they, they try some stuff and then"},{"startTime":913.959,"endTime":923.079,"body":"[Unknown] those deep emotions come out. And it brings up past traumas or relationship issues or whatever."},{"startTime":923.079,"endTime":927.799,"body":"[Ed] And it just, there it is. It's like right there in your lap and you have to deal with it."},{"startTime":928.52,"endTime":934.36,"body":"[Unknown] We didn't have a lot of that. Now you, you'd had a previous relationship where he had cheated on you."},{"startTime":935.16,"endTime":939.88,"body":"[Ed] But I kind of think we'd addressed a lot of that stuff within the first like"},{"startTime":941.03,"endTime":946.63,"body":"[Unknown] six months or a year of swinging. Yeah. So a lot of conversations around that."},{"startTime":946.63,"endTime":954.549,"body":"[Ed] Yeah. Yeah. And that trauma didn't kind of come back. We kind of like put that aside. And"},{"startTime":955.829,"endTime":960.549,"body":"[Ed] he was a guy you were dating. I'm not trying to diminish how that was. But it's not like your"},{"startTime":960.549,"endTime":965.75,"body":"[Unknown] husband of like 10 years was cheating on you. Right. The guy was kind of a tool to begin with and"},{"startTime":965.75,"endTime":970.39,"body":"[Ed] you'd had red flags all along. And then he finally did it. And so it was kind of like"},{"startTime":971.11,"endTime":979.51,"body":"[Ed] yeah, bad on me. Yeah. Yeah. And and well, really bad on him. But just it wasn't too"},{"startTime":979.51,"endTime":984.069,"body":"[Ed] unexpected. But it was disappointing, I think, for you. Well, yeah."},{"startTime":985.51,"endTime":992.39,"body":"[Phoebe] The the cheated. Oh, yeah. Well, and it rocked my world. It made me question"},{"startTime":992.39,"endTime":1000.169,"body":"[Phoebe] how could I not know about what does that say about me as a person to not be able to"},{"startTime":1000.9689999999999,"endTime":1008.41,"body":"[Phoebe] to acknowledge those red flags and honor those and and why didn't I see it. Right. And so I"},{"startTime":1009.049,"endTime":1014.73,"body":"[Phoebe] I felt like wow, I can't even I can't even pick a good one. Right. So it became a"},{"startTime":1015.689,"endTime":1020.49,"body":"[Phoebe] beating myself up about it as well. Yeah, exactly. You were very kind to yourself about that."},{"startTime":1020.49,"endTime":1026.73,"body":"[Ed] No, and realizing that the guy was kind of sticky. He did all the right things because he was quite"},{"startTime":1026.73,"endTime":1034.169,"body":"[Phoebe] the salesman. Oh, yeah, he was he was 100% and it's really good. Yeah, salesman."},{"startTime":1035.3700000000001,"endTime":1045.13,"body":"[Phoebe] Now, there was something else you were touching on where we have experienced NBA I have with"},{"startTime":1045.13,"endTime":1057.23,"body":"[Phoebe] and jealousy with another couple early on. And that played into your connection with her was"},{"startTime":1058.27,"endTime":1063.75,"body":"[Unknown] stronger than my connection with him. Right. So you and the woman were just"},{"startTime":1064.71,"endTime":1072.78,"body":"[Phoebe] vibing off of each other big time just massively. And me and the guy weren't so much. And"},{"startTime":1073.829,"endTime":1083.27,"body":"[Phoebe] I am also a slow warmer so and you aren't so you're you know 10 miles down the road and I'm"},{"startTime":1084.23,"endTime":1093.03,"body":"[Phoebe] way back here. Yeah. So when we are at a sink in that way, it it has bothered me quite a bit. Yeah,"},{"startTime":1093.51,"endTime":1106.47,"body":"[Phoebe] yeah. And I still I still work on that a little bit and I I know that about myself. I'm aware of it"},{"startTime":1106.47,"endTime":1111.27,"body":"[Phoebe] and I use the appropriate language to tell myself, you know, we're fine, we're all good."},{"startTime":1111.27,"endTime":1116.95,"body":"[Phoebe] Or I will ask for something that I need in that moment. Right. Rather than just let the train"},{"startTime":1116.95,"endTime":1123.19,"body":"[Unknown] get away from us because it's a group activity. Yeah. And and after that, it happened a couple times"},{"startTime":1124.149,"endTime":1132.79,"body":"[Unknown] and small handful of times. I was better at trying to keep pace with where you were and we both did a"},{"startTime":1132.79,"endTime":1138.47,"body":"[Ed] better job of like checking in with each other to see, you know, where we were before we committed"},{"startTime":1138.47,"endTime":1143.27,"body":"[Ed] to anything, et cetera, et cetera. It was an unusual circumstance that one particular night. And"},{"startTime":1143.27,"endTime":1149.75,"body":"[Ed] if I remember right, that was the one in Reno. Yeah. Poker nights and you know,"},{"startTime":1150.389,"endTime":1156.549,"body":"[Ed] I know exactly what it was. And it's interesting because we've run across that couple a few times."},{"startTime":1156.549,"endTime":1163.589,"body":"[Ed] Yeah. And I don't have the same reaction to her as I did that one night. There was just something"},{"startTime":1164.47,"endTime":1169.27,"body":"[Ed] about her that night that just pressed all my buttons. I don't know what it was."},{"startTime":1171.069,"endTime":1179.69,"body":"[Unknown] Yeah. That's awesome. So the next question we had from the same gentleman was or from somebody else"},{"startTime":1179.69,"endTime":1184.73,"body":"[Phoebe] was what happened to that couple. And I thought we talked a little bit about that, but we can talk"},{"startTime":1184.73,"endTime":1196.94,"body":"[Ed] about it again. Yeah. Yeah. They they went through some some drama in their their lives. And it"},{"startTime":1196.94,"endTime":1206.46,"body":"[Phoebe] was it was rough. It was ugly. Yeah. They they ended up getting into force. She ended up getting"},{"startTime":1206.46,"endTime":1219.399,"body":"[Phoebe] really sick. She's better now. There's a mass of custody fight. The husband was doing shady"},{"startTime":1379.399,"endTime":1386.869,"body":"[Phoebe] things or accusing her of of doing things to get full custody. Right. It was your typical like"},{"startTime":1386.869,"endTime":1393.109,"body":"[Phoebe] really ugly, really ugly dirty. But to the point where I mean it was he was filing false reports"},{"startTime":1393.109,"endTime":1396.95,"body":"[Phoebe] and things like that. Right. Whether it was true or not, I don't really know because I didn't"},{"startTime":1396.95,"endTime":1403.589,"body":"[Unknown] know them that well. Well, we tended to back off at that point because that wasn't anything we"},{"startTime":1403.589,"endTime":1409.829,"body":"[Ed] wanted to get involved in. I had just been through a divorce and didn't want to deal with all that."},{"startTime":1410.79,"endTime":1417.349,"body":"[Ed] They go ahead. I was just going to say and this happened a couple of years after we continue to"},{"startTime":1417.349,"endTime":1422.309,"body":"[Ed] interact with them and hang out with them. And I'm pretty sure we had sex with them a number of"},{"startTime":1422.309,"endTime":1429.51,"body":"[Phoebe] times after that before we found out before we found out about you as a serial cheater. Cheater."},{"startTime":1429.51,"endTime":1439.589,"body":"[Phoebe] Yeah. Which was a whole other thing. And they they were pretty heavy drug users which we didn't"},{"startTime":1439.589,"endTime":1447.19,"body":"[Phoebe] know about until later. So that came out as well. Um, giving drugs to their kids things like that."},{"startTime":1447.19,"endTime":1455.53,"body":"[Phoebe] I mean, their kids were of age but still it was there was some really crazy dynamics,"},{"startTime":1455.53,"endTime":1463.129,"body":"[Phoebe] family dynamics going on there that weren't the most healthy in my in my humble perspective. But"},{"startTime":1463.609,"endTime":1469.45,"body":"[Ed] yeah, they kind of pros and cons with what they were doing in that particular case. And it's"},{"startTime":1470.52,"endTime":1475.319,"body":"[Ed] I guess the closest equivalent that most people can deal with is, you know, your your kid comes of"},{"startTime":1475.319,"endTime":1484.04,"body":"[Unknown] age for drinking. And so you you set them down and you have your first drink with them"},{"startTime":1484.04,"endTime":1487.559,"body":"[Ed] in a controlled environment where they're not you know that they're safe, et cetera, et cetera."},{"startTime":1487.559,"endTime":1494.119,"body":"[Ed] Well, they use the same rationale with yeah, the ecstasy. But right. I mean, you know,"},{"startTime":1494.119,"endTime":1499.879,"body":"[Unknown] there's pros and cons to that. I can see both sides. Yeah. Right. It's a little bit, but yeah."},{"startTime":1499.879,"endTime":1506.79,"body":"[Phoebe] All in all, they they they were lovely people at the time. Mm-hmm. Things got ugly. I'm sure"},{"startTime":1506.79,"endTime":1515.03,"body":"[Unknown] they're still lovely people. A lot of challenges. Yeah. The other unfortunate part was the family,"},{"startTime":1515.03,"endTime":1524.94,"body":"[Phoebe] their extensive family was informed of their lifestyle. Right. And that made it even more."},{"startTime":1525.819,"endTime":1530.46,"body":"[Ed] Yeah, they kind of ugly. I don't know if they outed themselves or if he kind of outed them,"},{"startTime":1530.46,"endTime":1537.6589999999999,"body":"[Ed] something happened and the family found out. And it was they pretty much lost all their family,"},{"startTime":1537.6589999999999,"endTime":1544.139,"body":"[Phoebe] which it was been was also very tragic. So it was it was a very stressful time. Yes, for sure."},{"startTime":1544.139,"endTime":1548.7,"body":"[Phoebe] A stressful time. And and then as a result, they got out of the lifestyle and we haven't"},{"startTime":1549.5,"endTime":1554.7,"body":"[Phoebe] heard from them at all. We don't hear or see them in any of those struggles. She was at a state"},{"startTime":1555.42,"endTime":1563.02,"body":"[Ed] he as far as I know they they moved they sold their house and moved away from from our area. So we"},{"startTime":1563.02,"endTime":1569.829,"body":"[Phoebe] we've never run into them again. No, never. So yeah. Yeah. So that was that."},{"startTime":1571.609,"endTime":1579.129,"body":"[Ed] The next question we got was when was our next full swap after that first one? So we've ripped the"},{"startTime":1579.129,"endTime":1589.129,"body":"[Ed] bandaid off now. Yeah. Pull the pin on the whatever. And we're we're going. We're we're loose."},{"startTime":1592.95,"endTime":1598.95,"body":"[Ed] And I'm trying to remember who the next full swap was. It was definitely condoms."},{"startTime":1600.329,"endTime":1605.69,"body":"[Ed] Always. Yeah. After that, it was definitely with condoms all the time."},{"startTime":1605.69,"endTime":1614.309,"body":"[Ed] And I would have to say it was probably at one of the big events. And it doesn't stand out."},{"startTime":1614.95,"endTime":1620.629,"body":"[Ed] It wasn't our first. So it doesn't stand out as much as the the first time. Right. And"},{"startTime":1622.389,"endTime":1631.19,"body":"[Ed] you know, it probably it was probably Miss America and and our bondage buddy. Oh,"},{"startTime":1632.25,"endTime":1636.329,"body":"[Ed] that was a lot of fun. That was a lot of fun. That may not have been the next one. But that was like"},{"startTime":1636.329,"endTime":1642.329,"body":"[Ed] one of the first ones after that. Yeah. Where it was a big Halloween event. And we ended up being"},{"startTime":1642.329,"endTime":1650.569,"body":"[Phoebe] extra neighbors to them. And we got and we got we we had a really hard time trying to find other"},{"startTime":1650.569,"endTime":1656.569,"body":"[Phoebe] couples. I do remember trying to date other couples from the dating adult dating sites. Yep."},{"startTime":1656.569,"endTime":1664.329,"body":"[Phoebe] And we'd had a couple dinner dates and drink date and date was a big mistake."},{"startTime":1664.329,"endTime":1670.889,"body":"[Phoebe] It was too too much commitment. Yeah. We were locked into a booth. We couldn't get up. It was"},{"startTime":1670.889,"endTime":1682.73,"body":"[Phoebe] was just not a great experience as I destroy my studio here. And we we couldn't figure out"},{"startTime":1683.45,"endTime":1688.649,"body":"[Phoebe] what we were doing wrong. Yeah. We were like, okay, we finally got everything right. And now"},{"startTime":1688.649,"endTime":1695.29,"body":"[Guest] everything was wrong again. And it was really disheartening. Sure. And that's when we found our"},{"startTime":1695.29,"endTime":1704.649,"body":"[Phoebe] group with orgies and being DTF. Right. And it we made some really great connections in that"},{"startTime":1704.649,"endTime":1713.69,"body":"[Ed] regard. And that's where we hit our stride. Yeah. A lot of a lot of after parties at the hotel"},{"startTime":1713.69,"endTime":1725.95,"body":"[Ed] events were I think what we spent most of our playtime for sure. And I could probably say they were"},{"startTime":1725.95,"endTime":1732.51,"body":"[Ed] three or four couples that we ended up actually hooking up with with the dinner date kind of"},{"startTime":1732.589,"endTime":1739.47,"body":"[Phoebe] drink date thing the one on one situation. Oh, I don't think so. But literally like two or three."},{"startTime":1739.47,"endTime":1745.069,"body":"[Ed] Oh, maybe at the time. And some of them turned really weird. We've got some weird stories."},{"startTime":1747.389,"endTime":1753.72,"body":"[Ed] Yeah. All right. I'm going to pull up the comments from from this episode because we'd"},{"startTime":1753.72,"endTime":1758.44,"body":"[Ed] buy as well, right? We're reading one comment. We'll read through a few more. Here's the first"},{"startTime":1758.44,"endTime":1763.96,"body":"[Ed] comment. Top of the list. And they they learned from us or or they're they're taking their own twist"},{"startTime":1763.96,"endTime":1769.96,"body":"[Ed] on it. And they said, my wife wants a full swap. But I was not sure having both listened to your"},{"startTime":1769.96,"endTime":1779.559,"body":"[Ed] experience. We have decided that we will. But with condoms. Yeah. Good. Good condoms condoms. Good."},{"startTime":1779.96,"endTime":1789.72,"body":"[Ed] Good. Someone had asked if we had the HPV vaccine. And if I replied at the time, but to let you"},{"startTime":1789.72,"endTime":1796.2,"body":"[Ed] know if you haven't read the comments, we do not have the HPV vaccine because we're too old. And"},{"startTime":1796.2,"endTime":1803.1589999999999,"body":"[Ed] it's only administered up to a certain age. Right. And once it's once you're past that age,"},{"startTime":1803.1589999999999,"endTime":1809.559,"body":"[Ed] they don't actually give out that vaccine. So if you're within the range, check with your doctor,"},{"startTime":1809.559,"endTime":1817.799,"body":"[Phoebe] it's worth getting vaccinated for. I do have an update on that. However, because we are in a community"},{"startTime":1819.399,"endTime":1827.879,"body":"[Phoebe] that we will list in this video that we love, I have the amazing pleasure of being part of"},{"startTime":1828.68,"endTime":1834.04,"body":"[Phoebe] the lady section part of that community. Anyone can well, you can't, but any lady can."},{"startTime":1835.72,"endTime":1843.319,"body":"[Phoebe] And one of the women asked her general practitioner to give her that vaccine, even though she was"},{"startTime":1843.319,"endTime":1849.319,"body":"[Phoebe] past that age limit. Interesting. She had the fight to get it. I just didn't think it was effective."},{"startTime":1850.43,"endTime":1855.79,"body":"[Phoebe] It I think what it is is a little more risky to your health."},{"startTime":1856.99,"endTime":1863.149,"body":"[Ed] As you start to age, that makes sense. And she really wanted it, she checked with her doctor,"},{"startTime":1863.149,"endTime":1869.71,"body":"[Phoebe] and they agreed, okay, but they they had to really fight for it. And I, I swear she said"},{"startTime":1869.71,"endTime":1878.03,"body":"[Phoebe] her husband got it too. And I don't didn't think that that was a thing for men. Yeah."},{"startTime":1878.03,"endTime":1886.43,"body":"[Phoebe] So maybe it was just her, but she, she did get it after that age, age limit. So if you want it,"},{"startTime":1886.43,"endTime":1892.109,"body":"[Ed] push for it. Yeah. Talk to your definitely talk to your physician and see if it's an option"},{"startTime":1892.109,"endTime":1899.309,"body":"[Ed] and what the risks are. Yeah. This comment, things haven't changed a lot since we were in the lifestyle"},{"startTime":1899.309,"endTime":1905.71,"body":"[Ed] 40 years ago. Our very first experience was attending a swimmer's dance with maybe 75 or so people"},{"startTime":1905.71,"endTime":1912.349,"body":"[Ed] there. We got invited to a party after the dance to which we obviously said yes. You guys took"},{"startTime":1912.349,"endTime":1918.349,"body":"[Ed] a full year and a half for your first full swap question mark. We did it at the first party and"},{"startTime":1918.349,"endTime":1925.389,"body":"[Ed] never looked back. It was great. I'll leave it there for now. I know, I know a lot of people that"},{"startTime":1925.389,"endTime":1934.03,"body":"[Unknown] have done that. But yeah, jump in both feet. Right. No regrets. Yes. And we've seen people do that"},{"startTime":1934.03,"endTime":1938.51,"body":"[Phoebe] and then leave a lifestyle six months later. But we've also seen people do that that have"},{"startTime":1938.51,"endTime":1945.149,"body":"[Unknown] been together. That's I think the key. They, they've been together for many, many years."},{"startTime":1946.54,"endTime":1954.869,"body":"[Phoebe] We hadn't been together for very long. No. Like a year. Yeah. So yeah. Oh, and there's,"},{"startTime":1954.869,"endTime":1959.349,"body":"[Ed] there's the ranch hands comment. I will go past that because we did this whole episode just for you."},{"startTime":1960.549,"endTime":1968.44,"body":"[Unknown] Not just for you, but this particular comment says don't sugarcoat what the other couple did."},{"startTime":1968.44,"endTime":1974.04,"body":"[Ed] They lied or at least one of them did, which is true. And we've commented on that a number of times"},{"startTime":1974.04,"endTime":1984.67,"body":"[Ed] that yeah, they did. Infidelity in the lifestyle is almost worse than infidelity in a committed"},{"startTime":1984.67,"endTime":1994.92,"body":"[Unknown] monogamous relationship. They're both bad. But in a non monogamous relationship, everybody else"},{"startTime":1994.92,"endTime":2002.599,"body":"[Ed] who's engaged with that couple is also experiencing that infidelity. So if they're out there"},{"startTime":2003.319,"endTime":2012.51,"body":"[Ed] playing unsafely and maybe contracting STIs, any of their partners that are in lifestyle are also"},{"startTime":2012.51,"endTime":2017.629,"body":"[Ed] going to be experiencing that. And if they're lying about it, oh, we're exclusive or we're a"},{"startTime":2017.629,"endTime":2023.389,"body":"[Ed] limited group and only our group do we play bear back with, which we've heard a number of times."},{"startTime":2024.19,"endTime":2029.869,"body":"[Ed] Based on our experience, that's not really enough to go by because and it's not really true."},{"startTime":2029.869,"endTime":2036.51,"body":"[Ed] People kind of step out from their relationships or they forgot. Oh, yeah, there was that one other"},{"startTime":2036.51,"endTime":2044.27,"body":"[Ed] girl or that other couple or that unicorn or that one time at Bandcamp. Yeah, or you're at the"},{"startTime":2044.27,"endTime":2048.9089999999997,"body":"[Phoebe] club and you hit it off with somebody and you want to seize the moment. You're not going to be"},{"startTime":2048.9089999999997,"endTime":2055.549,"body":"[Phoebe] like calling up. You're your your couple at 10 o'clock or 1 a.m. the morning. Hey, I know we have"},{"startTime":2055.549,"endTime":2060.589,"body":"[Phoebe] an agreement that I'm not supposed to be bear back with anybody else, but can I with this girl tonight?"},{"startTime":2060.589,"endTime":2065.069,"body":"[Ed] It's 1 a.m. Can you give it back to me? Hello, you just need a group text message and you just send it"},{"startTime":2065.069,"endTime":2069.95,"body":"[Ed] to everybody when we're like, we're going to get down with this other one. You've all been notified."},{"startTime":2069.95,"endTime":2079.6589999999997,"body":"[Unknown] There you go. Yeah, this one, this was a nice comment. That was a great story. You both sound like"},{"startTime":2079.6589999999997,"endTime":2083.98,"body":"[Ed] you are a wonderful couple and very nice people. Thank you for sharing that. Oh,"},{"startTime":2086.73,"endTime":2093.69,"body":"[Unknown] someone else asked, did you do oral? No, I don't think we did not. No, we did not."},{"startTime":2094.649,"endTime":2099.5299999999997,"body":"[Ed] We went straight. Yeah. Yeah. No for play. Straight to business."},{"startTime":2100.649,"endTime":2105.5,"body":"[Ed] That time. Most of the rest of the time, we're all about the the for play. Yeah."},{"startTime":2107.319,"endTime":2112.52,"body":"[Ed] Never heard about this before. It sounds like a fleeting experience. How does it affect quality"},{"startTime":2112.52,"endTime":2118.599,"body":"[Ed] of your life overall? I'm not judging. The effects of intimacy stay with me long, long after"},{"startTime":2118.599,"endTime":2123.879,"body":"[Ed] the real-time experience. I think this was a general comment about swinging in general. Yeah."},{"startTime":2124.92,"endTime":2130.2799999999997,"body":"[Phoebe] That's a good question. It is a good question. Are we going to talk about that? Yeah. Okay."},{"startTime":2130.2799999999997,"endTime":2136.1189999999997,"body":"[Ed] I think swinging in general is a series of fleeting experiences."},{"startTime":2139.5,"endTime":2145.26,"body":"[Ed] You remember them, right? They stick with you over time. Yeah. But they're like these brief"},{"startTime":2145.98,"endTime":2151.74,"body":"[Ed] exciting moments. Yeah. It's not the day-to-day excitement that you get with your significant"},{"startTime":2151.74,"endTime":2162.04,"body":"[Unknown] other or your partner. It's random. It's kind of like a hot flash. Yeah. Yes. It's like going on"},{"startTime":2162.04,"endTime":2169.069,"body":"[Phoebe] a vacation and you get this high from going on vacation and you're just like, oh my god,"},{"startTime":2169.069,"endTime":2176.8289999999997,"body":"[Phoebe] that was the best vacation. Right. Right. And then over time, it peeders out. Now, I will say"},{"startTime":2177.149,"endTime":2189.95,"body":"[Phoebe] that level of intimacy never, it didn't, I don't want to say. I didn't experience it until"},{"startTime":2190.75,"endTime":2200.139,"body":"[Unknown] we introduced a single male to our dynamic. Right. Which we just talked about in our last episode."},{"startTime":2200.139,"endTime":2212.379,"body":"[Unknown] Right. So for intimacy, I didn't experience that. And maybe part of that is that we just didn't"},{"startTime":2212.379,"endTime":2221.579,"body":"[Phoebe] know the couples that well. We were in orgies. We were DTF. We knew them well enough"},{"startTime":2222.46,"endTime":2230.54,"body":"[Phoebe] to have good conversation and things like that. But we didn't know them. And we were"},{"startTime":2230.54,"endTime":2237.049,"body":"[Phoebe] in place situations that were always public and exposed because we're, we're, you know,"},{"startTime":2237.049,"endTime":2246.409,"body":"[Phoebe] we're exhibitionists. So we aren't having quiet, intimate, slow moments with the lights in"},{"startTime":2246.409,"endTime":2252.329,"body":"[Phoebe] the bedroom and no one else is around and the music is, but we're not, not that that's what intimacy"},{"startTime":2252.329,"endTime":2261.719,"body":"[Phoebe] is. But I always think intimate is going to be, it's going to be more focused. Right. And"},{"startTime":2263.659,"endTime":2270.04,"body":"[Unknown] we have had a few sessions with a few couples where, you know, those were focused moments. But"},{"startTime":2270.969,"endTime":2279.05,"body":"[Phoebe] I didn't get that. I guess it was intimate. Yeah. I guess it was. So in a non public space,"},{"startTime":2279.13,"endTime":2286.73,"body":"[Phoebe] it's more intimate, but the, the feels from which, which is different than intimacy"},{"startTime":2288.279,"endTime":2294.759,"body":"[Unknown] was way more apparent with the single male. Yeah. And I think that's a really good distinction"},{"startTime":2294.759,"endTime":2303.389,"body":"[Ed] between like emotional attachments or hormonal attachments and having an intimate moment"},{"startTime":2303.389,"endTime":2312.759,"body":"[Unknown] with someone. Because I think, I think we've had a small number of really intimate experiences"},{"startTime":2312.759,"endTime":2320.119,"body":"[Phoebe] with particular couples. Oh, Chico was a really good, that was a really good one. And I think the,"},{"startTime":2321.0,"endTime":2328.279,"body":"[Ed] the New Year's party with all the lights were at the end of the night. It was like 4 a.m. And we,"},{"startTime":2328.279,"endTime":2333.5589999999997,"body":"[Ed] we hadn't full swapped with any of the couples there. It was just soft swap with everybody. Yeah."},{"startTime":2333.639,"endTime":2340.04,"body":"[Ed] That was amazing. And it was very intimate. And everybody was really in touch with each other."},{"startTime":2340.84,"endTime":2348.759,"body":"[Phoebe] And it was, it was fantastic. Yeah. It was like this pink glow in the room. And everyone was just"},{"startTime":2348.759,"endTime":2356.84,"body":"[Phoebe] mushy and cuddly. Yeah. Glowy. And yeah, it was lovely. It was, it was a great experience. Yeah."},{"startTime":2356.84,"endTime":2366.46,"body":"[Ed] Yeah. Here's an interesting question. Was there a doctor there to test everybody for STDs?"},{"startTime":2367.82,"endTime":2374.3,"body":"[Phoebe] No. No. And that's not how it works. So there probably was a doctor there, but he wasn't testing."},{"startTime":2374.3,"endTime":2383.11,"body":"[Unknown] No. And testing really doesn't work until you are starting to show symptoms or that you can run"},{"startTime":2383.11,"endTime":2389.909,"body":"[Ed] a test and detect it. And so the viral or bacterial load has to build up in your system before"},{"startTime":2389.909,"endTime":2396.55,"body":"[Ed] it's even visible in tests. Right. So you could have sex with someone and get a blood test"},{"startTime":2396.55,"endTime":2400.79,"body":"[Ed] right that minute. And it's not going to tell you anything, even if they are just"},{"startTime":2402.38,"endTime":2408.38,"body":"[Unknown] overflowing with STIs. That's right. It just doesn't work. You're still going to take anywhere from"},{"startTime":2409.02,"endTime":2418.139,"body":"[Phoebe] seven to gosh, sometimes seven days, sometimes to like 90 days for some of the STIs. Or longer for"},{"startTime":2418.139,"endTime":2423.02,"body":"[Phoebe] someone, which is why you always retest and not have partners in between. Yes. And using condoms,"},{"startTime":2423.579,"endTime":2430.3,"body":"[Ed] so learn from our mistake. Not that we ended up with an STI, but no, it was a mistake, for sure."},{"startTime":2432.779,"endTime":2437.579,"body":"[Ed] Hi, guys. Love your videos. My partner and I are new to this. And we are getting the impression"},{"startTime":2437.579,"endTime":2443.739,"body":"[Ed] that most of the sex at that event you were describing was unprotected. Yours clearly was, as you"},{"startTime":2443.739,"endTime":2449.659,"body":"[Ed] described it. What about the other folks? You didn't mention any lube and condom jars supplied by"},{"startTime":2449.659,"endTime":2457.739,"body":"[Ed] the host. I thought this was the norm. Is this typical in larger events? Like this cruises,"},{"startTime":2457.739,"endTime":2465.369,"body":"[Ed] swinger clubs, we're not judging. We're just trying to get ready for our first time. Typically? Yeah,"},{"startTime":2465.449,"endTime":2471.449,"body":"[Ed] there are looms and condoms in a room. There's a small basket. It's hit and miss depends on"},{"startTime":2471.449,"endTime":2480.699,"body":"[Phoebe] the venue. If it's a club, right in Texas or other areas that can have a sex club, then yes,"},{"startTime":2480.699,"endTime":2488.139,"body":"[Phoebe] they will provide those larger events will provide those. But for the most part, women are picky"},{"startTime":2488.139,"endTime":2493.259,"body":"[Phoebe] about their lube and men are picky about their condoms. And women are also picky about their condoms"},{"startTime":2493.259,"endTime":2500.46,"body":"[Phoebe] because some have latex allergies and some can't use homicide in their condoms. So most women"},{"startTime":2500.46,"endTime":2507.82,"body":"[Phoebe] bring their own. And a lot of people did bring their own. This was a house party. They didn't"},{"startTime":2507.82,"endTime":2515.099,"body":"[Phoebe] supply that. Yeah. So everyone just brought their own. We brought our own. We did. We did. We just"},{"startTime":2515.099,"endTime":2526.86,"body":"[Ed] did. And I will say I don't recall condoms at hedonism. No. And I don't recall ever seeing condoms"},{"startTime":2526.86,"endTime":2535.34,"body":"[Ed] at on the cruises. Right. So really big events typically not. Your average house party. Yeah,"},{"startTime":2535.34,"endTime":2540.0589999999997,"body":"[Ed] typically they'll put some some lube out and some condoms that house parties that we've been to."},{"startTime":2540.0589999999997,"endTime":2544.699,"body":"[Ed] But that's yeah, about half of them. Yeah, it's up to the discretion of the hosts. Yeah."},{"startTime":2546.0589999999997,"endTime":2555.96,"body":"[Ed] In terms of unprotected sex, I don't recall if unprotected sex was the norm at that party."},{"startTime":2561.32,"endTime":2570.009,"body":"[Guest] Here's why we sail on virgin. It's adults only. No kids screaming at breakfast. No family buffet"},{"startTime":2570.009,"endTime":2577.529,"body":"[Guest] lines. Just champagne at noon late night pool parties and people who actually want to be there."},{"startTime":2578.25,"endTime":2586.71,"body":"[Guest] The vibe. Think boutique hotel that happens to float. Tattoo parlors, drag brunch, restaurants"},{"startTime":2586.71,"endTime":2592.869,"body":"[Guest] you'd actually pay for on land. Plus when you're looking to connect with other couples who know how"},{"startTime":2592.869,"endTime":2600.119,"body":"[Guest] to have fun, let's just say virgin attracts a very specific type of adventurous. No wonder bread"},{"startTime":2600.119,"endTime":2610.59,"body":"[Unknown] cruisers here. Just your people. I don't know. There's a lot of shenanigans in the hot tub. So"},{"startTime":2610.59,"endTime":2620.38,"body":"[Unknown] perhaps. Yeah. Yeah. But I, you know, I wasn't really paying attention. I wasn't really paying"},{"startTime":2620.38,"endTime":2625.98,"body":"[Phoebe] attention. Like you you want it to look and want and enjoy what's going on in front of you,"},{"startTime":2625.98,"endTime":2631.659,"body":"[Phoebe] but you're not like analyzing, you know, you're not like being a creeper. And we weren't looking"},{"startTime":2631.659,"endTime":2637.9,"body":"[Phoebe] specifically for that either. Right. Sometimes light is low. Sometimes you don't see it."},{"startTime":2639.02,"endTime":2645.98,"body":"[Phoebe] And we got to catch somebody in the moment putting one on all you can't always see it on somebody."},{"startTime":2645.98,"endTime":2654.0589999999997,"body":"[Unknown] So it was a little bit hard to tell. This is another one. The no condom was a shocker after being"},{"startTime":2654.0589999999997,"endTime":2659.98,"body":"[Ed] in the lifestyle for a few years. I, pardon me, I had a repeat partner that just took my condom off"},{"startTime":2659.98,"endTime":2668.38,"body":"[Ed] and kept going later after an HIV scare. I told my wife at the time I was out. We tested negative,"},{"startTime":2668.38,"endTime":2675.179,"body":"[Ed] but our usual couple tested positive. A few couples at that time, what tested positive. We were"},{"startTime":2675.179,"endTime":2680.779,"body":"[Ed] lucky to get out negative. We saw a few couples split and it wasn't pretty. This was back when we"},{"startTime":2680.779,"endTime":2688.46,"body":"[Ed] lived in central Florida, big scene there. Be safe, condom, condom, condom. Yeah. 100% agree. And"},{"startTime":2689.42,"endTime":2698.759,"body":"[Ed] it's, it was one of those like key to the moment things and it could have been very bad."},{"startTime":2698.759,"endTime":2706.36,"body":"[Phoebe] It could have been really bad. And I, I honestly attribute that to just our, our level of confidence."},{"startTime":2708.119,"endTime":2714.36,"body":"[Phoebe] Speaking up, using our words. Right. So we were so excited in the moment. We didn't want to ruin"},{"startTime":2714.36,"endTime":2720.36,"body":"[Phoebe] the mood. It wouldn't have ruined the mood. We didn't know that we were awkward. Yeah."},{"startTime":2721.8,"endTime":2727.5589999999997,"body":"[Phoebe] You know, it just, yeah, it wasn't our best decision. And we rectified that very quickly"},{"startTime":2728.36,"endTime":2737.179,"body":"[Ed] because we got scared. Yeah. This is another ST, STI question. One major, major thing that"},{"startTime":2737.179,"endTime":2742.54,"body":"[Ed] prevents me from doing that is that we might get some venereal disease. How do you know the other"},{"startTime":2742.54,"endTime":2747.659,"body":"[Ed] people are disease free? I can't bring myself to get with another girl not knowing anything about"},{"startTime":2747.659,"endTime":2754.94,"body":"[Ed] her any tips. You know, you don't know. It's a, it is a level of risk, but that is exactly why you"},{"startTime":2754.94,"endTime":2764.779,"body":"[Ed] wear condoms because you put as much protection as you can on. And you do a risk assessment. We did our"},{"startTime":2764.779,"endTime":2773.659,"body":"[Phoebe] own risk assessment that fit us and our life. And we did our research. We researched all the risks"},{"startTime":2773.659,"endTime":2780.699,"body":"[Phoebe] for all the STIs. How they're cured. What happens when you get them? How long it, you know, what,"},{"startTime":2780.699,"endTime":2786.3,"body":"[Phoebe] what does it look like when you get one? Right. Right. How long does it last? We went to the CDC"},{"startTime":2786.3,"endTime":2793.579,"body":"[Phoebe] and a whole bunch of other websites and did our research. Yep. And our level of risk at the time"},{"startTime":2793.579,"endTime":2802.86,"body":"[Guest] we started was different when we were raising kids. Yeah. Versus, you know, not raising kids. So we"},{"startTime":2805.11,"endTime":2813.27,"body":"[Phoebe] and as we've progressed in the lifestyle, we've we've learned more about STIs and medicines have"},{"startTime":2813.27,"endTime":2822.11,"body":"[Phoebe] changed. They've, they've got prep now and other preventative medicines. What's the other way? Not"},{"startTime":2822.429,"endTime":2827.469,"body":"[Phoebe] prep is the preventative one, but what's the other one? There's a pet also. A pet. That's the one I was"},{"startTime":2827.469,"endTime":2833.79,"body":"[Phoebe] thinking of. Yeah. So your risk level may be different based on, you know, what you've got going"},{"startTime":2833.79,"endTime":2842.029,"body":"[Phoebe] on in your life. And who, who you need to be, be there for your, your health, your personal health,"},{"startTime":2842.029,"endTime":2851.0,"body":"[Phoebe] how you feel about that. I have a really good friend who, who is a professor germaphobe and she is"},{"startTime":2853.07,"endTime":2862.029,"body":"[Phoebe] really, really picky about what she will do and with who and how and if you want to have sex with"},{"startTime":2862.029,"endTime":2869.869,"body":"[Phoebe] her, you basically have to walk into the room like you're a surgeon. Yeah. It's suit me up, doctor."},{"startTime":2869.869,"endTime":2876.759,"body":"[Unknown] Yeah. Yeah. So everyone's different. Yeah. And a number of other people commented on, you know,"},{"startTime":2876.759,"endTime":2882.279,"body":"[Ed] STIs just in general. And one thing I want to be really clear about, because I think there's a"},{"startTime":2882.279,"endTime":2887.239,"body":"[Unknown] misconception with swingers that, you know, it's a free for all and everybody's just having sex with"},{"startTime":2887.239,"endTime":2894.44,"body":"[Ed] everybody else and, you know, STIs are pretty rampant. It's actually pretty low in terms of STIs,"},{"startTime":2894.44,"endTime":2902.279,"body":"[Ed] because people are being careful and they are using condoms generally. They are washing up in"},{"startTime":2902.279,"endTime":2907.32,"body":"[Phoebe] between partners. Yeah. And there's a lot of mutual respect for other couples. And so you don't"},{"startTime":2907.32,"endTime":2914.279,"body":"[Ed] want to do that to somebody else. Right. I will say that if you are a serial monogamous or you are"},{"startTime":2914.279,"endTime":2919.639,"body":"[Ed] a single person and you're out having a good time and you're sowing your wild oats, you're probably"},{"startTime":2919.639,"endTime":2927.48,"body":"[Ed] at a higher risk because these are random connections. And you just, you don't know very much about"},{"startTime":2927.48,"endTime":2934.84,"body":"[Ed] the person that you're dating at that particular time or hooking up with from a bar. So understand"},{"startTime":2934.84,"endTime":2943.5589999999997,"body":"[Ed] that risk is risk. And if you're not playing protected, then you are running a higher risk. So,"},{"startTime":2945.099,"endTime":2952.139,"body":"[Phoebe] you know, and we, we, we have run into couples that are unapologetic about their position. And"},{"startTime":2952.139,"endTime":2957.98,"body":"[Phoebe] they say, you know what? I like, I don't care. My, I don't, I don't like condoms. I play bearback. And"},{"startTime":2957.98,"endTime":2962.46,"body":"[Phoebe] do you know what? If I get something, there's a medicine for it. Right. We've, we've met a number of"},{"startTime":2962.46,"endTime":2967.659,"body":"[Ed] couples. And that's our perspective. So we still choose to wear condoms with them, which is"},{"startTime":2967.659,"endTime":2973.34,"body":"[Phoebe] their, they're right to have that position. And well, usually we don't play with people with that"},{"startTime":2973.34,"endTime":2980.219,"body":"[Ed] perspective. That's, that's true. We know them. Oh, we, we don't. Well, yes, because you can"},{"startTime":2980.219,"endTime":2988.119,"body":"[Phoebe] still get STIs around the condom, depending on what's going on in the area. Correct. Yes, condoms"},{"startTime":2988.759,"endTime":2995.159,"body":"[Ed] do not make you bulletproof. No. But they do go a long way to, to helping. Yeah."},{"startTime":2996.119,"endTime":3002.73,"body":"[Ed] So if there is a known STI, there's definitely things that you can do to help with that. Yeah."},{"startTime":3004.84,"endTime":3014.409,"body":"[Unknown] And remember, if it's the prep or the pet, but they are a, a prophylactic treatment pre STI."},{"startTime":3015.21,"endTime":3021.96,"body":"[Ed] So talk to your doctor. And let's see what else we have here. Yeah, I, I, you know,"},{"startTime":3022.759,"endTime":3029.159,"body":"[Ed] in general, I think most people were concerned about the, the STIs, the potential STI scares. And"},{"startTime":3029.159,"endTime":3035.48,"body":"[Ed] just generally the reaction and whatever happened to that couple. So I think we covered just about"},{"startTime":3035.48,"endTime":3043.32,"body":"[Phoebe] all of that. Perfect. Well, keep commenting and keep questioning. We'd love. I really love answering"},{"startTime":3043.32,"endTime":3049.88,"body":"[Ed] these questions about you. Oh, yeah. Definitely. And if you have a question that you want to ask us"},{"startTime":3049.88,"endTime":3063.32,"body":"[Ed] directly, feel free to call us at 916-538-0482 or go to our website and do a, use our little hotline."},{"startTime":3063.32,"endTime":3068.92,"body":"[Phoebe] It's really cool. And we'll mask your voice and change your name if you want it. So just let us know."},{"startTime":3068.92,"endTime":3076.759,"body":"[Phoebe] And you can record there as well because it's completely anonymous on the website. And we'll put"},{"startTime":3076.759,"endTime":3083.23,"body":"[Phoebe] you on, on air. We'll put you right on the podcast. Yeah. We'd love to hear your comments."},{"startTime":3084.63,"endTime":3094.38,"body":"[Unknown] So let us know. And as we say, keep learning. Keep growing. And keep it sexy."},{"startTime":3127.949,"endTime":3132.19,"body":"[Ed] One last thing before you go, if this episode helped you in any way,"},{"startTime":3132.19,"endTime":3136.67,"body":"[Ed] the single best thing you can do to support the show is leaving a rating and review."},{"startTime":3137.69,"endTime":3142.889,"body":"[Ed] It takes 60 seconds and helps new people find us when they're searching for relationship education."},{"startTime":3144.04,"endTime":3152.8089999999997,"body":"[Ed] And we've made it easy. Visit SwingerUniversity.com forward slash review. All the instructions are there."},{"startTime":3154.25,"endTime":3157.77,"body":"[Ed] Thank you for being part of this community. We'll see you again soon."}]}