The Courage to Leave: Healing, Divorce, and Rebuilding Your Life with Amy Shepherd

What happens when you’ve built a life that looks “right” on paper… but feels completely wrong in your body?

In this deeply honest and emotional episode, we sit down with wellness architect and transition guide Amy Shepherd to talk about the courage it takes to leave what no longer fits. From marriage and career to identity and self-worth, Amy shares her powerful story of moving from people-pleasing and survival mode into a life designed with intention, joy, and freedom.

We explore what it means to outgrow a relationship, how to know when something is truly over, and why fear often keeps us staying long after our soul is ready to go. Amy opens up about her own marriage, the breaking point that changed everything, and the tiny, practical steps that helped her rebuild herself from the ground up.

This episode was inspired by a listener question from someone who has been in a 20-year relationship and feels deeply unhappy but terrified to leave. Together, we unpack the emotional complexity of ending something familiar, especially when love, friendship, comfort, and shared history are involved.

This conversation is for anyone navigating a major life transition, craving more freedom, or wondering if there could be something more aligned waiting on the other side.

Resources:

Amy is a Wellness Architect who helps women transform from unsettled to resilient by rebuilding their lives from the foundation up. Drawing from over a decade of lived experience through divorce, abusive relationships, career upheaval, and international relocation, she distilled those defining moments into a framework for self-trust, stability, and personal power. She helps women design lives rooted in clarity, sovereignty, and lasting resilience. Learn more at wellnessdesignbyamy.com

Instagram: @amy_shep_wellness
Website: wellnessdesignbyamy.com

Amy offers connection calls for people navigating life transitions, relationship changes, burnout, reinvention, and personal growth. Use the code HFPODCAST26 to get a juicy discount. 

Honest Feedback was created by Brittney King and Lisset King.

Note: Honest Feedback Podcast aims to provide insights and provoke thoughtful reflection. The opinions expressed in this episode are for informational purposes only and should not replace professional advice.

Please send us your questions by leaving a voicemail at 971-895-4111, DM us on instagram @honestfeedbackpodcast or email us at thekings@honestfeedbackpodcast.com

Keep up with the podcast by following us @HonestFeedbackPodcast on YouTube

Transcript

Why Transitions Feel So Scary

Amy 0:00

At that point, I already made my decision, but it's like I feel sometimes people are just like they're so comfortable in a relationship, even good or bad, like they don't even realize that someone's gonna have the courage to leave.

Goddess Brittney 0:10

Welcome to Honest Feedback, the podcast where deep truth meets bold transformation. We've created this podcast for spirit-led individuals just like you. Seekers of truth, personal growth, and meaningful connection.

Lisset 0:25

Whether you're navigating life's big questions, craving more joint fulfillment, or simply looking for honest, relatable conversations, you're in the right place.

Goddess Brittney 0:33

Through personal stories, actionable advice, and transformative insights, our ultimate goal is to empower you to create a life that's overflowing with pleasure, purpose, and authenticity. We know you're capable of incredible things. So let's make it happen together. Welcome back to another episode of Honest Feedback Podcast. We are so happy to be here with you today. And we're gonna be talking about transitions. Yeah. Like those big life ones. Ooh, the big scary ones. The scary ones. Relationship, career.

Lisset 1:08

You know, when you're like stuck in something for about, you know, a decade or so.

Goddess Brittney 1:15

Who's been there? Yeah, transitions can feel so intense, and sometimes you're like, I just don't know what to do, or you know that you need to leave. You know you need to leave. But you're afraid to leave. I've been there. I've been afraid to leave all sorts of situations. And then I'm just like, oh gosh, did something happen? Did I get fired? Great, they've made the decision for me. Um but I'm so happy that we have a fucking incredible guest with us today, Amy Shepard. Not only is she a fucking badass, um, and one of our good friends, she is a wellness architect and she holds people's hands and supports them and guides them through when they're going through major life transitions. She has, she has walked the gamut, y'all. She has been in the fire. She's in some shit. She's some shit many times and been able to create the life that she wants on purpose and full of joy. So I'm so happy to have her on as we dive into an incredible listener question.

Lisset 2:22

Yeah, but first, hit that like, subscribe, share button, share this with a friend, help us get this podcast far and wide, and let's give her a ring. Great.

Speaker 2:33

Hi, Amy. Hi, Brittany and Lisa.

Goddess Brittney 2:38

We are so happy to have you on the podcast. This has been, I feel like a long time brewing. Not only are we friends, but we have bore witness to the amazingness, uh, the boldness of you literally just taking charge of your life. And it has been such an honor to watch, so inspiring to witness and be a part of. And like we are so happy to have you on the show.

Speaker 3:08

Oh, thank you so much for your kind words.

Meet Amy And Her Work

Speaker 3:10

I'm so honored to be here and in the presence of you ladies. I'm so excited.

Lisset 3:15

Yeah. Well, you know, as always, we just kind of want to start with a little bit about you. How do you serve in the world?

Speaker 3:24

Um, great question. So I am a wellness architect and I serve by um helping people through transitions in their life, going from stuck and if they have an aspiration in their life, and going through all of the transformation required and as a guide and as a leader through this um transition. I've done so many transitions in my life, and all I ever wanted was someone to be by my side. And basically just designing their wellness in a holistic way to live an optimal, fulfilled life.

Goddess Brittney 4:00

Whoa, Ivy, just that. Are you guys hearing this? Wow, I so resonate as someone who's also been through a lot of transitions. You're like, is there a guy here? Is there gonna be a beautiful? I mean, us knowing you, um, we know a bit about your story. And so I know that like becoming a wellness architect, leading people through transitions, being a guy, these are all things that are like deeply personal to you and from your story. And so, like, could you share with people like what is your story? What even led you to become a

Trauma, People Pleasing, And Losing Voice

Goddess Brittney 4:40

wellness architect? Where did it start for you? What kind of transition?

Speaker 4:44

Oh man. Um back when I was one year old, not just from the beginning. I uh let's start from the beginning. How long is the show? No, I I really I say I'll try to do a bullet point version, but essentially I had trauma in my childhood and spoke about that trauma to my family, and it was basically pushed under the rug, and I lost my best friend and essentially lost my voice. That my I was shown that my voice didn't matter, and that speaking up for myself caused me to lose everything. And so I began from a very young age of repressing all of me, essentially, because if I speak, that means there's a need, there's a desire, there's a want, there's something that I have to speak, and if I can't speak it because no one's gonna listen or they're gonna ignore it, then I I just I'll just better off just doing what other people want to do. And so I became a perpetual people pleaser and um looking for validation and acknowledgement any way that I could get it, um, and working through college, getting my master's degree in architecture, um, getting married, you know, having the big old fancy wedding, buying the house, you know, white picket fence, all the things you're quote unquote supposed to do. And then um just found myself absolutely miserable. I was angry. I was um, I had terrible health. I my my um like nutritional gut microbiome was a disaster. Anything I ate, I was bloated. Like I looked like I was six months pregnant. I had awful sleep. Um I was just always on edge and I never really understood it. And I was like, why am I angry all the time? Why am I this way or that way? And it's like I have everything I'm supposed to want and need, and but yet here I am. And I I didn't know um any way out. I just felt literally stuck. I felt trapped, and I saw other people have an amazing life. They were happy, they were like, or they were seeming seemingly happy, like they had the dream vacations, they had amazing, beautiful, loving like relationship. And it was like, oh my god, I want that. Like, why like I'm supposed to have that? I'm technically in it right now, but yet I'm not, you know. And so basically I got divorced, and um then my life began. And it was like when I was at my loneliest low point, um, I was 100 times happier than when I was married. And it's like I would much rather be here than to be with him, and so it was kind of like it literally felt like I was an infant at 32 years old when I got divorced. I was an infant. I literally had to learn how to do absolutely everything because now it was I, there wasn't a weed, there was I. What do what do I want for dinner? How do I make this dish? Like all of the like empowering things. It's like if you don't know yourself, if you've been people pleasing your entire life, and it's like, oh shit, like I don't know anything about myself, and that's where I was like, I desperately want someone that has been on this journey that knows how I'm feeling and knows like it can get better, it will get better. And so I went on a 10-year journey of self-discovery, and I went through like 21 modalities therapy, breaky therapy, like NLP, uh neurolinguistic programming with your beautiful self-less, uh, you know, like EMDR therapy, like you name it, I did it. And it was just, and it was kind of like me trying my best to get to where I wanted to go, which I didn't really know where I wanted to go. I just knew that I wanted to grow, I wanted to be happier, and I wanted to live a fulfilling, like kick-ass life and be like vibrant and like play like a kid again, you know, and that's all I wanted, just to have like an amazing life. And so that's really, you know, it went from that horrible place to clawing my way through all of these modalities and tons and tons and tons of personal growth work, thousands of dollars, you know, all the things, all like I don't know how many journals I filled up. Like, but all of all of the people, all of the healers, all of the professionals that were working with me, like I owe my life to them. And it was the most beautiful journey. And I'm so, so grateful for it. And I feel like I feel like I was meant to do go through this and learn it and embody it so that I can help others because it's been so deeply nourishing. And now that I'm on the other side and living my dream life, it's like, oh my god, I can't believe I'm here. And and it's been like over a decade. So it's like my greatest like pleasure and my greatest dream. And I just feel so excited to be able to help other people through this exact thing because I know there's so many people that are quote unquote in the right place, they followed all the rules, but they're miserable. And they want a better life, but they don't know that maybe they don't think that they deserve it. That was the other thing. It's like, oh, well, that's great for them. But it's like, no, you can have it too. Yeah, if I if I could have it when I was back, like you can have it too, you know.

Lisset 10:41

So that's such a beautiful story. Like, I I know I know it intimately, right? I know your story. And I think one of the most beautiful things is uh I would love for you to share even deeper about how did you know when you were in this marriage, right? That where you were unhappy, what for you was the the breaking point? What for you was the moment that was like, I can't do this anymore? Or you you just felt so trapped, you're like, this is it feels almost like life or

Marriage Breakdown And The Wake-Up Call

Lisset 11:10

death, you know. Like, how did you know you needed out of that? And and how did you go about that?

Speaker 11:16

Hmm. Okay, so many things. Let's see here. Um well it was interesting because we were together for seven years. We dated through college, and um we got married, and we got married in October and then went on our honeymoon in February. And on our honeymoon, something changed, and I knew I knew it deep in my gut. I'm like, something is different. And because I didn't know myself, because I didn't have a voice, because I didn't know what I needed or wanted or desired, I probably saw signs that I didn't even realize were signs in the seven years we were together. But they became more and more obvious um after we got married, and then it just got worse and worse and worse with him verbally abusing me and I didn't know about the love languages and like words of affirmation and physical touch are my top two, and he was verbally abusive and he never touched me. Hey, I wonder if that's gonna work out, you know, yeah, and so um I because I was with him all of my 20s, I never really explored my sexuality, I never really like knew about that either. Um, because I had the sexual trauma when I was a child, and um a man pursued me in the relationship, and I was like so down in the dumps, like absolute at my lowest, lowest, lowest point. I'm just like, wait, you're looking at me? Like, oh, like I no one ever looks at me, no one ever approaches me, no one ever like comes on to me. I'm like, oh, and it kind of just like shook me awake, and it was just like I'm like I had an intro um intramarital affair, and it was like I had my first vaginal orgasm, and it was like that's what that is, that's what it's supposed to feel like. Oh my god, you know, and it was like it literally woke me up, and I'm like, why am I settling for this jackass when there's so many other people in the world? And this showed me that that's a possibility, and and it was so crazy because I ended up like finding out that he had an affair two years earlier. And I saw signs, of course, of him like coming home late and like on a Wednesday calling in sick or whatever, because they had kickball, and it was just like hmm, something's strange. And of course, he never you know said anything to me, but I of course, with my detection skills, I figured it out and I bust busted his ass. And I essentially caught him doing it, and I was like, This is my out, even though I had just done it. Yeah, but I was also on the verge of you know suicide ideation. I had a few attempts of it, and it was like it was literally my lowest, lowest point that I've like I would never ever cheat on somebody, and I did. But yet when I found out he had done it before, I was like, this is my out. Not the fact that I was severely unhappy. I thought when you say till death do you part, it's literally till death do you part. And like, and I always said I'm like, if you if you lay a hand on me, if you you know, sleep, if you sleep with someone else, like I'm out. And I was like, This is my out, even though I did it, you know, whatever. Um, I was like, sweet, he did it, and then he admitted it. And and at one point I was like, okay, we're actually clearing the air here. Like I busted him, he admitted it. It's like, hey, well, clearly you're unhappy. Clearly, I'm unhappy. Like, let's do something about it, right? And thinking we're gonna be on board, we're just gonna go on like married couple, you know, therapy or whatever. And he's just like, oh no, no, no. He's like, you're the one that has the problem, you go to therapy. I'm like, uh but clearly you're unhappy too, right? And he's like, Well, I I do what I want to do, you know, and then he's like the thing that was the kicker for me is his lovely quote that I thank him till this day. I'm only human, and if and I won't ever guarantee that I won't do it again.

Amy 15:52

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 15:54

It's like, thank you for your brutal honesty. Yeah. I'll never do it again. Like you were literally honest and said, I'm only human and I can't guarantee I won't do it again. Thank you. Thank you. I literally got up from the chair and I'm like, peace the fuck out. Yeah. And that was like the easiest decision for me. And it's just like, I don't, I have no idea where I'm gonna live, I have no idea what I'm gonna do, I have no idea how I'm gonna pay for anything, and I don't give a fuck.

Amy 16:26

Yeah.

Speaker 16:27

I'd much rather not be with him in dealing with that egotistic, egotistical, narcissistic bastard. You know, it's just like I mean, he did me a favor, right? He did me a huge favor, and I'm so grateful. And it was just like the icing on the cake, and it's like especially because I had my own like extramarital affair, and that lit me up that I that there's a possibility outside of this marriage for a better life. Yeah, that was like the little peak, that was like a little window into like there's something better out there for me.

Goddess Brittney 17:02

Can I ask you if you remember that moment when he said those things and you got the courage to be like peace? Like, what did it feel like inside? Like, was based on how you're sharing about your story of like I didn't have a voice, it kind of feels to me like this might be one of the first moments where you actually are like, I have a voice, I'm using it, I'm making a decision for myself. Like, does that feel around true? Of like this was maybe one of the first big decisions you made for you.

Speaker 17:32

Yeah, yeah. Now that you say it, I I remember that moment like extremely vividly. We were in the backyard, that patio that we created together. And yeah, I it was like, yeah, it was like an inner knowing of, yeah, I I I feel all of my stuff in my my uh sacral. Or I'm sorry, my sorry, my solar plexus, my solar plexus, like right, right at the base of the rib cage, or right at the top of the root cage, I guess, uh on the bottom of your breastbone. Like that's where I feel it. It's like that's like where my quote unquote gut is. And it's just like it was just this blaring alarm, like unavoidable. And it was like, hello, Amy, leave, ring, ring, ring, ring, leave, leave, leave, leave. And it was just like, this is now, this is now, you're free, you're free, you're free. Like it was so clear. It's like, oh, okay, yep, I'm I don't need to question that. And maybe that's like where my spirituality began to like fester, or like because I I feel like I've probably always been very spiritually gifted, but I never knew because I never listened to it or I you know shut it down or ignored it for 30 some years. So I feel like, yeah, that definitely was the start of it. But then it was like how to nurture, you know, it's like a little, it's like a little baby chick that just hatched. It's like, how do you how do you like let it flourish and grow from that moment on? Because it's very vulnerable. It's kind of like fuzzy and flipping, it's all it's all cute. It needs it needs tender, loving care. And it's like, okay, this is new, even though you're 32, like this is new. Now you're gonna venture off and do your own little thing. And it's like it's a big world out there, right? It's like, ooh, okay, times gonna be times, times are gonna change and it's gonna be different, and it's gonna be scary and intimidating, but it's gonna be better than here. Yeah, yeah, because now I have control, yeah, yes. Uh huh. And so it was very like exhilarating and empowering, and like I felt like Wonder Woman. Yeah, I mean, you sound like Wonder Woman. You know, it's just like here's my cape, like peace out, brother.

Goddess Brittney 19:48

Like, I just feel like what you've touched on is is so powerful. And thank you so much for just sharing so vulnerably about like the nuance of the experience. Um, and I just I love your reflection on who you were and how you navigated that and where you were able to start to find like your center and your gift and your own voice and like really honoring, like you said, like a newborn or a baby chick. Like sometimes we know it's the right thing to do. We do know that. And to do it

First Steps After Divorce

Goddess Brittney 20:25

and then be on the other side, it's like, oh God, I'm scared. I'm scared. So, like, what were some of your few, like your first steps outside to like try to get support? Like, I mean, your guide because you had guides and it seemed like there needed to be more of like a through line of guide. Like, what was your kind of first steps outside to try to find yourself?

Speaker 20:51

Yeah, great question. So I feel like I mean, I'm very detail-oriented. I'm I'm a former architect, so I have like I know exactly what I did, which was um calling everyone that I know that knew a lawyer. And, you know, I hired a lawyer, and then I also and then oh, when I found my lawyer, she had a mediator um who is also for divorced people, or you know, she's a divorce, uh, appoint a court appointed mediator. So she knew divorces very well. Um, so I started doing therapy with her, and also she was helping me mediate the divorce. Um so it was like lawyer, then therapist, and then it was like, and then asking my network who had a place to rent because I needed a place to rent. And then I, you know, I found a place to live, I moved out. Um and then yeah, I'm trying to think. Um but it was just like taking one day at a time and taking because it was like and that therapist, she was amazing. Because she was like, Okay, I have an assignment for you. Go to the grocery store and go to something that you've never eaten before and pick it up. Put it in your shopping cart and buy it. Then go home and Google what it is, how to make it, and and you cook it and you eat it. And then you just say, That was lovely, that was disgusting, then you know what it is, and you made all of those micro decisions by yourself. And you figured out how to survive, figure something out, how to cook it, enjoy it, and either decide whether you want to continue doing it or not. And it was like the simplest thing, but it literally transformed my life because I took that one lesson into all of my life. How do I do this? Okay, let's try one thing. Try it, Google it, figure it out. Boom. It's just like rinse, recycle, and repeat. You know, it's just like, okay, this is great. So it was like breaking all these massive, scary decisions into microscopic little everyday, okay, one little task at a time.

Amy 23:07

Yeah.

Speaker 23:08

And that really helped um make things a lot easier through that time.

Lisset 23:15

Yeah.

Speaker 23:16

That was like in the way beginning.

Lisset 23:18

Yeah. I just love your story so much because obviously you've you went from um hometown, right? Like small town in Wisconsin.

Speaker 23:28

Wisconsin, yeah.

Lisset 23:29

Yeah, small town, Wisconsin, and now you live in Puerto Vallarta, just like I live in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. Yeah, like you followed all these tiny decisions over 10 years, and you just kept following your heart and your spirit, and you allowed it to guide you to the spectacular life that you have. We get to see, we've got the honor to see what you live like in in PV. It's so spectacular. You know, this is this is something that people need so much because that fear can be so paralyzing.

Goddess Brittney 23:59

So paralyzing. Well, I feel uh also I just I I selfishly just feel like you breaking this down. I'm like, oh, I totally see her genius. Like you're detailed of like your steps and like how helpful that can be when everything just feels like it's up in the air and it's all crazy to have someone who can hold your hand and support you in a like step-by-step methodical way in order to like find your path. Um, but I feel like this is a great place to bring in the question because it kind of all

Listener Question On Leaving A Long Relationship

Goddess Brittney 24:30

ties in. So we asked on Instagram and the question we got, which is so if you're holly. Okay. Hi, I've been in a relationship for 20 years and I'm unhappy. There are so many things that just aren't right and aren't changing, but I'm afraid to end it. I don't know how to end it. In many ways, he's my best friend, and I've outgrown this relationship and I want things that aren't possible here. How do I leave? I'm scared. Signed stuck. Hmm. And I love that gear translation leads people from stuck. I was just like, oh my God.

Speaker 25:11

Well, let me see here. Um yes, no great question. Thank you for sharing and asking the question. Um I feel like this one, you know, not every situation is gonna be the same because I don't think my relationship with my ex-husband was, I don't think he was my best friend. I think we were a relationship of convenience. We were roommates, essentially. And um for someone that's been in a relationship for 20 years with their best friend, but knows that they are outgrowing the relationship, um, I would feel that I like first question I would ask is if they have a conversation with their spot with their significant other first. First and foremost, have you had the discussion? And if not, um having the butt-cuckering courage to just ask the question, hey, are you happy? You know, like are you happy here? Like, if you're not, and I'm not, like, are you willing to work at it with me? And if their answer was like my ex-husband was, it's a very clear answer. And then you can decide, hey, they're not willing to work at it. They're not, they don't think that the relationship is worth um us getting help, therefore they don't respect me. And in my mind, I would much rather be respected, and having that be like a catapult to get you out. And yes, you've been together 20 years, things are familiar, things are dividedly probably equally, like um, and sometimes I think people just are clueless in terms of like, I I remember, oh my gosh, I remember my ex, he would always he was super awkward in social events, and he would always like rub the back of his head, and his like right leg would go up and he'd be like, Oh yeah, that's interesting. And he would like rub the back of his head, and it was like such a weird thing that he always did, it drove me nuts. Like, after my after I'm like, I'm leaving, he's just like he did that same thing. He's like, You would rather be single than to be with me. You would rather be single than to be with me, and he just repeated it like a million times. I'm like, dude, I wouldn't rather be single the rest of my life than to be with you. I like deadpan looked him in the eye and it was like dude, like this hasn't been fun. News flash, so it's it was just like such a mind-blowing thing, and it's like at that point, I already made my decision, but it's like I feel sometimes people are just like they're so comfortable in a relationship, even good or bad, like they don't even realize that someone's gonna have the courage to leave. So even if you like, even as like a like a tiptoe, if you didn't want to have like a drastic exit like I did, maybe just um go on a vacation with your girlfriends, or like stay at a family, like family or friend's house for like a couple weeks and see how your partner reacts with your absence. Like how many things do you do in the household that now you're not there? See if they miss you. You know what I mean? Like, and then see if you miss them. Like all like if you're if you leave the situation that you've been comfortable with for 20 years and you have that fear, how do you feel living somewhere else? How do they feel living somewhere else? And then come back and have hopefully have the discussion. And if not, then it's like hey, that was kind of nice. That was like a vacation. How you know? It's like, oh, okay, well, I guess I didn't miss you, you didn't miss me, then it's easy. Adios, you know? But it's kind of it's kind of like breaking that down of like little steps of how you can just tiptoe out of it, and I would at least try to have the conversation first.

Goddess Brittney 29:01

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 29:02

I feel like you know it'll just be easier.

Goddess Brittney 29:04

You've shared just such um beautiful feedback, um, because I know I've been guilty of this too, of yeah have like feeling scared to have the conversation that you know you need to have. Yeah. And it's like sometimes both people are avoiding it. And I remember with my ex, like, just he was a good person. There was literally nothing wrong. There was like he was a good person. I just started to discover that I was just like, I just don't think this is it. And I remember one time I was like sitting on the couch and I took a picture of him and I was like, this is not gonna last much longer. Like I remember having that, I remember having that thought, but also being terrified to have the conversation. And it wasn't until literally somewhere in my soul, like woke me up in the middle of the night hysterically crying. And he was like, What's wrong? And it just all came out. I was like, we have to break up. I'm not happy. I started talking to my and I was just like, uh, and it was like, you know, that the fear is what kept stopping me. And I I really appreciate your encouragement of leaning into the eyes of like, are you happy? Because that really is the most powerful question. And sometimes we uh we keep ourselves so busy that we're and comfortable that we won't sit with, oh my God, I'm actually not happy in this relationship, in this city, in this whatever, all of it, and really being honest with ourselves.

Lisset 30:33

Yeah, if I could speak into that. I uh I was in um a relationship with my nesting partner, and we were together a little over three years, and it was in this moment where I start we started to feel the discord. I had already started dating Britney, and like the contrast was so insane. Like I was just like, whoa, I'm so happy here, and I am just living life over here. I am just paying that over here, and I'm just going through the motions. And um we were starting to have lots of fights and separation. And oh one day I just I just asked her straight straight out. I said, Are you happy? And she said, No, I'm not. And for me, as much as that broke my heart, uh, she's like, Are you happy? And I was like, No, but I thought I could be. But the fact that you say you're not happy, like I love you enough to not keep doing this thing. And that that was the beginning of the end. And something I'm gonna speak to and ask you about is like, what do you do when you're in that? Like, this the cohabitating, it's the like this is my life. This is we've built so much together. We have this beautiful home and beautiful dogs, and like, ah, the dogs, you know, like the separation of the dogs, like there's yeah, you know, like my my ex had a dog, and like, gosh, you know, just does he remember that much I love him? You know, like all the things that you go through in that separation, like, how does one get the courage to keep going? Obviously, in that moment, I was fucking scared, but I knew I couldn't. It was like the happiness thing, like I love you enough to not stay with you because I

Micro Steps, Joy, And Getting Resourceful

Lisset 32:10

want you to be happy. And then I figured out life, but it's scary. So, how do you guide someone on that step of like, okay, I know I'm gonna leave. I know this isn't working. What's the a few steps we can give someone to move forward?

Speaker 32:28

Yeah, great question. I mean, it's kind of similar to what I cared about before, but um I feel like I feel like it would be looking at yourself and digging down deep down. Like, what is it that I want? And I know a lot of that's like the question everybody hates. Right? It's like, what do you want? Like, I don't know. It's like okay, like, is it a different environment, you know? Um I feel like for me, when I had that experience, um it's like okay, I get to be single, I get to find a place that brings me joy. Um, I get to decorate it any way I want. I get to do whatever I want whenever I want, with who I want. And it's like the ultimate freedom. But again, when you don't know yourself or when you've been a little codependent potentially with other people, which is easy to do. I'm I'm guilty of it. I have that anxious attachment style, and it's like that codependent, and then it's like once that goes away, you're like, ah it's like uh you know, you need that that addiction, that adrenaline fix, and it's like, okay, it's not there anymore. Like, I have to just cut it off and like be strong. But then it's like once you get to the other side and you're completely free, it's like, huh, I can do whatever the hell I want. Yeah, you know. Um so like steps, I would say potentially like do something that brings you joy to get out of your head. Number one. So for me, I discovered through my process was going for a walk in nature.

Lisset 34:28

Yeah.

Speaker 34:28

And I'm getting, I'm like looking at the beautiful birds, I'm looking at the flowers, I'm stopping to smell the flowers, and it's like I'm going by water to see the water move, and it's just kind of like hmm, then it just kind of comes to you, you know, and it's like, okay, that's a great first step, you know, and then you then you do that, you honor that, like you don't question it, you don't doubt it, you don't, oh, but what about this? What about that? And I I'm totally guilty of but it's like whatever comes, like trust that and go with it.

Goddess Brittney 35:00

Yeah, this is so beautiful. I I feel you like what I'm hearing you say is like the vision of you connecting to your future of like I'm gonna get to be free, is one of the main things that was your guiding light, and then following, like, okay, joy came in. I'm gonna trust myself to follow that. Those are such beautiful steps to like start to move yourself, even when you're scared.

Speaker 35:30

Yeah. And I know like financially is a big thing for people, like, how am I gonna afford rent? Like, tap into your network, tap into family, tap into cousins, tap into old coworkers, like tap into anybody that you've connected with and say, Hey, I'm in this situation. Do you got a spare bedroom? Are you looking for some income? Like, maybe I could give you a few hundred bucks to stay in your place, you know, not necessarily like move in 100%, but even just like as a transition, right? Like going from co-habitating to nothing and by yourself is a huge like shift, especially for someone like that's been three years, 20 years, 15 years, whatever. Like it's a it's a massive shock to this shit to the system. And if you don't have a support system in place or don't know what you want, like, yeah, it's it can be absolutely terrifying and financially like detrimental, or you have to go to a a not so safe part of town because that's what you can afford, or you have to move out of town, like whatever the barriers are, like you know, try to do baby steps as much as possible, and um that feels safe for you.

Lisset 36:44

Yeah, yeah, you know, yeah. What I'm hearing you say, everybody's different. Yeah, what I'm hearing you say is even through your journey is you found even though you maybe in the moment didn't have the resources and stuff to do, like you got resourceful with what you have. And I think that's that's sometimes people are blinded from their own resources because they're so used to the codependency. Well, this person's always taking care of me, or or we've taken care of each other. I don't know how to. It's just like where there's one, there's many. And and if you're able to create a relationship with one person, you could create there are people who love you and care about you. Like, thank you. I just want to thank the caller, um, the messenger about this is like there are people who love you and care about you, and just opening up and tapping those resources. Like it is a time to get resourceful.

Speaker 37:35

Yes, yes, absolutely. Yeah, I mean that that brings up a point because it's like when I was married, um, you know, I had like racked up a you know, like $60,000 of student loan debt. And it's like, okay, now we're married, like let's let's like come up with a plan to figure out how to like tackle our debt. And he's like, Oh, no, no, no, your debt is your debt, my debt is my debt. And I was like, okay, this feels fun and juicy and really I got butterflies on my stomach. This is so loving. Like, wow, this is what I signed up for. Shit. You know, and it's like, okay, I guess I'll continue working my 45 plus hour architecture job, and I'll continue working more hours at Home Depot and get more ships there. So it's like I was working 70 hours a week, you know. So it was like seven, seven, seven days a week for seven years straight to pay off my student loan debt.

Lisset 38:29

While you were in a relationship.

Speaker 38:31

While I was married, yeah. Wow. Wow. Yeah. And it was like, okay, well, clearly I'm never home, and then that's probably a reason. Um, you know, gotta hi honey, gotta go to work. Yeah. So yeah, I exactly. So I was very resourceful because um I feel that was part of my upbringing for sure. Yeah, I I feel like yeah, like what you gosh, I keep hitting the mic.

Goddess Brittney 39:02

Like what you said, um, and we know this baggage blocks resources. And I think sometimes people forget how resourceful they are um when you're very comfortable in the way that things have been. Um, even if it's not good, it's familiar. And so, yeah, like we've all gotten resources. Like, I didn't know where I was gonna live. I was living with that person and I was just like, we gotta break up. And within a within like two weeks, I was like, I'm living with my sister and this person, like, you know, things just happen when you're on your path.

Lisset 39:34

What this reminds me of also is what it takes to, you know, you've done this as well, like leave a corporate job and move into entrepreneurship, right? Like when you're used to receiving things in a certain way in a certain model that you're just like, well, no, this is how money comes in. And and then you open up to this other, like, I know you transition people in career as well. And so like teaching people how to get resourceful, it's such a skill that is um it's needed in every transition, isn't it?

Speaker 40:06

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, it's kind of like foundational pieces that can be applied to all phases of of life, really. Yeah, that's why I you know I I say design your wellness. Like it's as a wellness architect, like, how do you want to design your wellness? And you can like everybody's I know wellness is such a like it used to have like a holistic, like well-rounded meaning, but now it's just kind of thrown out. So like everybody has their own meaning of what wellness is, but it you know, for me, it's like living an optimal, vibrant life. Um, and literally, like, how do you want to live your life? You know, like I know you too, you want a big life, and you're willing to do anything in your power to have a big life. Other people might want small lives, other people, you know, might want a cozy life, like whatever. It's like whatever it is, it's your wellness, and you get to design it. You know, it's yeah, um, yeah, I don't know if I answered the question. Sorry.

Goddess Brittney 41:00

Oh my god, that's so perfect. I completely forgot you also left corporate into entrepreneurship. Like you you have you have handled some of the biggest transitions that people ever go through. Yeah, you know what I mean? Like relationship that changes family, like we're talking money, corporate to entrepreneurship. Uh both of these are all spiritual initiations. Like this is this is just massive the your capacity to one, hold yourself through these huge transitions. And then two, the the way that you've been able to alchemize how you were able to do it and be able to guide others. Yeah. It's just truly magnificent.

Lisset 41:43

Yeah. And as someone who's a someone who's like, for me, I'm like very big thinker, like vision. It's it's nice to to know that you're out there giving people like practical steps because that that's and asking the right questions that they may need to know what to do next. Because you know, coaching is not about giving answers so much as like asking the question of like, do you think you can talk to this person? Like, you know, you're like first question I would ask. So I just want to honor the work that you do and the life that you've lived to get all of this wisdom and knowledge and all the modalities. I saw your when you came to work with me, I was like, Oh, she's done some shit. So it's it takes a very courageous soul

Career Leaps, Wellness Design, And Big Vision

Lisset 42:25

to be willing. You're like, I want something different and to do all of those things. And that's just something that makes you so special. I just wanted to reflect that too. Thank you.

Speaker 42:34

Thank you so much. Yeah, I mean, for architecture, I when I was in architecture, I my master's thesis was on creating a wellness architecture model so that the building actually worked you out. And that was my that was my master's thesis. And I really wanted like a building that was actually healing. So I took like the worst possible scenario of a corporate headquarter building where you have to drive like like in Chicago, no less. So it's like you have to drive an hour and a half just to get there. So you're in your car, you're sitting in your ass for an hour and a half in traffic, you know, either white knuckling it or swearing at the person that cut you off. Like, you know, there's like this anxiety, and then you get to work and you know, and then you're you pull up into a parking lot, and then you then you go, you walk a little bit, then you take an elevator up, and then you you know sit at your desk for eight hours in misery, and then you do it all, and then you get back in your car and you drive back. It's just like that's like the worst possible day I could ever imagine. It sounds like horrific, you know. It's like, okay, that's the worst case scenario. So what would it look like in a wellness model? And you know, so then I my master's thesis was about that. So it was so much fun, and I had an incredible time doing it, but you know, and it was like I just kind of carried that dream with me for the 15 years that I was in the field, and it just never never seemed to take off. And um then when I had my like feminine awakening in Tulum a few years ago, and it just like changed my life, and I'm like, I think it's time to fly. And I'm done with architecture and just packed my bag into one, or I packed up my apartment in like three weeks, and I went to the retreat retreat with Marley Williams and Lissette was there, and I was like, oh my God, this is like I was just lit up, and I'm like, it's happening. It is happening, you know. And it's just like my dream, you know, it's like designing um a healing space for people, like the building itself actually heals people on healing land. And you have a whole community of healers, like the top-notch healers that are in the space that's healing, and we all heal everyone that wants to grow. You know, and it's like that's like my biggest dream. Um, I came to Puerto Vierta because um I was visiting my life coach here, and she needed, I was doing dog sitting. I watched you guys, I watched your little girls. And I I went to and she's like, I don't have anybody to watch my dogs. Why don't you come to Mexico? And I'm like, okay, and she's like, why don't you go to PV and look for an apartment? I'm like, shut and one thing led to another. I got off the bus and it was just like middle of July, sweating bullets, and I got full body goosebumps, and I just felt this wave of energy, and it's like, you know, the music and the mural, beautiful artwork, and the smell of the lovely tacos, and it's like, what is this place? Like, I'm in love, I'm in love, and I just like I feel such an energy here, and there's the the culture and the healing modalities that are already there's already like a massive healing. Um so it's just I'm just so grateful, and I'm just like cultivating those relationships to start working towards my dream, and you know, building community is building community, um, networking with people, um, being resourceful, and just like like having a vision or having like an aspiration that you want, like what really lights you up, yes, and then just like going from that place, yeah. And then it's just like you know, like yes, there's fear, yes, there's doubts, yes, there's all the things, but it's like why wouldn't you? Yeah you know, like what are you what do you have to lose? Like, do you want to stay angry? Do you want to stay miserable? Do you want to stay like Netflix and chill and have a full pizza and a full tub of ice cream? Guilty, just wonder and then wonder why you feel like, you know, right? It's just like been there, yeah, yeah. How do you feel in your body? You know, it's just like vomit, you know, and just like tight, tight intention and like weight and just misery, and it just kind of like circling in this tornado of of chaos, and it's just like, ugh, I don't want to do this anymore. And maybe, just maybe there could be a better life for me. And then you go with that, and then it's like the second you make that decision and that like declaration, something happens. And proof like, okay, you want it, you made the decision. Like, once it clicks in here, once it clicks in your heart, once it clicks in your body, and you like make the decision, boom, green light, green light, green light, green light, green light. And it's like the universe answer answers, and it's like there's signs everywhere if you look for them. And it's just like, oh, you know, you get chills, you're like, oh my god, someone's listening. And it's like, there's proof, and yeah, you could have a better life. And so that's just kind of what I've been going off of. And it's just like, you know, my divorce was in 2015, and here I am, living in paradise, creating my dream, you know, and it's just like and just being what I've always dreamed of and more. Like, I never expected this. And I'm just so grateful for everyone that I met and just taking a chance. And it's really just like, you know, what do you got to lose?

Amy 48:18

Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 48:19

What do you got to lose?

Goddess Brittney 48:20

Yeah, this is just, oh, I cannot agree with you more. Everything. I'm like, yes, yes, yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Um, yeah, this is just this has just been so powerful and so moving and so inspiring. And so if there's someone who's like in a transition in their life, someone who's feeling stuck and could use support, like, how can people find

How To Find Amy And Closing

Goddess Brittney 48:45

you, reach out to you, work with you if that's what calls to them?

Speaker 48:50

Yeah, so that'd be wonderful. Um, yeah, yeah. If you feel inspired, like I would love to connect with anyone that feels my energy, my passion, like just um would love to connect in any way. So whatever is best for them. So I'm on social media, um Amy Shep Wellness at Instagram. Um, my website is wellnessdesign by Amy.com. And I do offer a connection call. And for any listeners on the podcast, you can use HF Podcast26 for a special discount for that call. And I would love to connect with anyone that has going through that is going through a struggle or even just a small hurdle, like anything that they're having issues with andor fear around, um, would love to connect with them because I've I've been through the mud, like you said. I've been through everything and I'm out on top. And it just feels amazing. So so grateful. Thank you so much, you two.

Goddess Brittney 49:51

Yes. Yeah, we will put the things in the show note, like book a call. Like, thank you so much for that generous offer and invitation. And as someone who has gotten to talk to Amy many times on the phone, uh, it is a delight. It's a delight, it's a delight. She's fucking hilarious. Yeah, that's a lot. Oh my god, it's a very special. Maybe you'll hear her sing at some point. Like she is just truly an incredible, incredible human. So checking out her website, checking out her on Instagram, and schedule a call. Like, you know, what what do you got to lose?

Lisset 50:29

Yeah, right.

Speaker 50:30

Yeah.

Lisset 50:31

Thank you so much, Amy, for being here today. We love you so deeply. And we know you're going to help so many people.

Speaker 50:38

Thank you so much. I love you too.

Lisset 50:41

Man, Amy is a real uh, she went deep with me. She really did. She shared the tea.

Goddess Brittney 50:47

She did served it, served that herbal tea. Well, what I appreciate about her is her honesty and her vulnerability. And uh, someone when I know when I'm looking for people to guide me and support me on my job, I'm like, have you seen some shit? Because I've seen some shit. Yeah. And if you haven't seen some shit, then you're probably not the one for me. Um, and so her really sharing her truth and like what she went through and the choices that she made. Like, I was just like, all right, all right, you know, yeah. Good luck with you. Yeah.

Lisset 51:16

I that that's one of the things I've always loved from with her. From the moment I met her, she was like, I've overcome, you know, having to leave a marriage. She shared like what she'd been through, how all the transformation she'd gone through. And I was like, wow, this that is, you know, there are some gifts that you you you forage yourself, and she has been through it. So I just love having her tell us her whole story.

Goddess Brittney 51:39

Oh, this was absolutely incredible. So absolutely schedule a call with her, check out her links. Um, she is just a delight and yeah, so excited.

Lisset 51:48

And if you have a question, give us a call at 971-895-4111, or you can DM us on Instagram at honest feedback podcast. All right. Until we meet again, be honest with each other. Yeah.