When you and your kids are subjected to post-separation abuse by a high conflict co-parent, it's so easy to internalize their behaviour.
When your kids come home with stories of their father's rage, anger, erratic behaviour and abuse, its easy for them to think it's because of something they did.
"I talked back, Mom. That's why dad threw out my favourite shirt."
"I took the iPad without asking, Mom. That's why dad threw it across the room."
"I got into a fight at school, Mom. That's why dad called me such a bad word."
Maybe you recognize this line of thinking in yourself too. At its core, our internal narrative sounds something like this:
"It must've been something I did. I'll do better next time and he'll stop the abuse."
But that simply isn't the case. The reality is, the abuse isn't about us or our kids.
Culpability for abuse lies solely and entirely with the abuser.
On this 28th episode of the Healthy Mom After Divorce Podcast, I talk about who is responsible for our behaviour, natural consequences to our choices, grocery store confrontations and why an abuser is abusive (spoiler: it's not because of you).
Find the full transcript for this episode at healthymomafterdivorce.com/28.
Link to Episode 26 referenced in this episode.
Download my free guide
Book a free 45-min Discovery Call
Follow me on TikTok, IG, FB & LinkedIn
When you and your kids are subjected to post-separation abuse by a high conflict co-parent, it's so easy to internalize their behaviour.
When your kids come home with stories of their father's rage, anger, erratic behaviour and abuse, its easy for them to think it's because of something they did.
"I talked back, Mom. That's why dad threw out my favourite shirt."
"I took the iPad without asking, Mom. That's why dad threw it across the room."
"I got into a fight at school, Mom. That's why dad called me such a bad word."
Maybe you recognize this line of thinking in yourself too. At its core, our internal narrative sounds something like this:
"It must've been something I did. I'll do better next time and he'll stop the abuse."
But that simply isn't the case. The reality is, the abuse isn't about us or our kids.
Culpability for abuse lies solely and entirely with the abuser.
On this 28th episode of the Healthy Mom After Divorce Podcast, I talk about who is responsible for our behaviour, natural consequences to our choices, grocery store confrontations and why an abuser is abusive (spoiler: it's not because of you).
Find the full transcript for this episode at healthymomafterdivorce.com/28.
Link to Episode 26 referenced in this episode.
Download my free guide
Book a free 45-min Discovery Call
Follow me on TikTok, IG, FB & LinkedIn