On this week's episode, I take a trip to The Cayman Islands podcast, where the host of Let There Be Light Podcast Kirstie Johnson dissects societal expectations, unraveling the complexities of navigating a world that often feels at odds with our true selves. In this compelling narrative, we confront the status quo, advocating for a departure from societal norms in favor of an identity rooted in faith.
Podcast available on ALL listening platforms
Mind Over Matter linktr.ee/mindovermatterbabyyy
Watch Manhattan Neighborhood Network EVERY Saturday @ 12pm
Follow us on Instagram
@mindovermatterbabyyy
DEJA @deja.waja
On this week's episode, I take a trip to The Cayman Islands podcast, where the host of Let There Be Light Podcast Kirstie Johnson dissects societal expectations, unraveling the complexities of navigating a world that often feels at odds with our true selves. In this compelling narrative, we confront the status quo, advocating for a departure from societal norms in favor of an identity rooted in faith.
Podcast available on ALL listening platforms
Mind Over Matter linktr.ee/mindovermatterbabyyy
Watch Manhattan Neighborhood Network EVERY Saturday @ 12pm
Follow us on Instagram
@mindovermatterbabyyy
DEJA @deja.waja
When the Bible says we're in the world and not of the world, the church or the physical people, because I want to make that very clear the church is the invisible, church is the physical bodies, the people right, the ecclesiast, the called out ones. We are not of the world, meaning the things of the world, and I think people don't understand what it means. Is systems in programs right? When it talks about the world, it's the systems in program that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, meaning the things of God. So we're in it, we're physically in it. That's what it means. Like when it says that we're in the world but we're not of the world, meaning he has a greater and higher purpose for us, so we're not of the systems and all of the things that are set to divide us All of the things that are set, the boxes, the names.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the boxes, the names, everything that tells us like the things that you are certain.
Speaker 2:Yeah, this is definite about you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this is certain and this is definite about me Like no. I am who God says I am. I am made in his image. Mind over matter is magic.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, what was that that's? That's a New York City made in call.
Speaker 1:Oh, I was. You know, honest to God, I was going to ask you if that was a meeting call, Like I don't know why, but it came to my mind I would say made in call, but it's a greeting, oh, it's a greeting.
Speaker 2:Okay, a year, okay, yeah, yeah. Okay. We gonna work on her a year.
Speaker 1:It's okay yeah you're gonna work on my B Mindful. I'm from the Cayman Islands, so I have a Caribbean accent, a Caymanian accent, so, yeah, so stuff like that. We'd be like why the world is that Our greeting is, you know? Kind of like because we have, like you know, a big Jamaican population. So you'll probably like Wagwan or Wagwan. Yeah, you good hey.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like I feel like year is slowly dying out. I don't know why I still use it.
Speaker 1:I've never heard it, though, before. Like is it something like for Brooklyn specifically? Yeah, or oh? Okay, it is.
Speaker 2:New York in general. Okay, my year year Like yo yo.
Speaker 1:It's like a yeah, yo, we still use yo. Yeah, we still use yo. Yeah, ok, yeah, we still use yo.
Speaker 2:Yeah, a little trivia, a little Brooklyn trivia. Ok, awesome.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so welcome to Mind Over Matter podcast. I'm your host, deja Wallace, and, as you can see, I have a lovely guest. As you can hear from our audio listeners, I have a lovely guest From my visual. If you're looking on the YouTube, the visuals are going crazy right now. I know I just blessed y'all Aesthetically. We on the beach with it in Cayman Island yes, in the Cayman Islands, yeah, and I've been with my lovely cousin, kirstie, day two on the Cayman Islands and it's exciting. The content that's coming out, that we're going to get out this trip, is going to be immaculate. As you can see from this, this is just a little taste of where we're really going with this podcasting thing, because Kirstie herself is getting into podcasting and I'm so excited for you, girl.
Speaker 1:Thank you. Thank you, I am excited You've been wanting to do this.
Speaker 2:You've been wanting to do this since months, for months now, for real.
Speaker 1:Oh, I think it's probably like a year now that. I had that equipment put up in the house. But it's one of those things where you just get up and do it. You stop procrastinating. I think that was one of the biggest things. For me is just procrastinating on it, because there's an initial fear that you have. Like, you're like, yeah, I want to do this, and you get all the motivation part. You get up to it and you realize it's not just about motivation, it's about discipline and execution. And execution, like just do it.
Speaker 2:So here we are. Yeah, here we are doing it, and this is your first time actually doing a podcast. Yes, this is as a podcaster, so that's exciting for you too. How do you feel?
Speaker 1:I feel great, Like I feel, like it feels like it's coming natural to be honest, yeah, she go. This gal can. Yeah, I think that's the part that helps, yeah she's a real talkative person, but when she speaks.
Speaker 2:She speaks with sense. It's not like the ones that you're like, oh my god, like. How can I get out this conversation? She actually speaks with sense. Ok, so on today's episode. This is episode 81. Wow, Dijon.
Speaker 1:I'm so proud of you. 81.
Speaker 2:81. 81. Wow, that's amazing. Yeah, and today I want to talk about just self-doubt. Ok, ok, yeah, that's what we're going to talk about in today's episode. So kick back, relax and enjoy this episode. Yeah, that's that Self-doubt. So you did say starting is one of the hardest steps for you when it comes to the podcasting thing, because I know you have the vision, you know what you want to say, you know how you want the podcast to feel for others. Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:But it's still something that well, you're overcoming it. But there has been self-doubt, yeah, and where do you think that stems from?
Speaker 1:Wow, that's a really big question, dijon, because that's going in deep. As you know, I don't mind going in deep, but I think self-doubt, or why I had a lot of self-doubt, is mainly because I grew up on a small island. It's kind of like a bit judgmental here. So I started to look at the fact that, oh, my goodness, if I start to do something very different from what people are doing here, they're going to look, they're going to talk and you start to feel, you start to doubt your own ability and yourself and to see what you can do. But I also think, too, it stems way back. You know a lot of things that we experience now as adults probably stemmed from childhood and you can't doubt in yourself on things that you can do, because maybe you weren't affirmed, maybe you weren't approved in certain stuff. So I feel like maybe a lot of it stemmed from there.
Speaker 1:But that's a deeper like if you dive fully deep, but specifically with the self-doubt around actually starting a podcast, when I said I would have started it was a lot of things happened and I didn't have the confidence in myself at that time to put myself on camera one and then out in the public, because it's like you're in the public domain, you're going to face criticism, you're going to face people that are going to up, prove you as well, affirm you, and I think it's just getting to a place of confidence and I think I'm there now. I've done the self work that was needed. I've, as you know where I'm at spiritualer. My walk with the Lord really gave me that confidence because he's like look, you need to get out there and you need to start talking now. Enough of staying inside this little hole, you gotta get out there and you got stuff to do. You got work to do.
Speaker 2:Exactly, and I feel like we all feel that, you know, especially when we're going into like a new stage in our life, self doubt, I feel like, unfortunately, I feel like it's more amped up for us in this like technological age, you know.
Speaker 2:Because we're being analyzed in different ways. That wasn't possible to humankind before. Yeah, that's it. That's it. Like the way people perceive us is so different than a few years ago. Oh, yeah, and I feel like that's where the self doubt always is going to stem from. Is other perceptions of you? Yes, but knowing you and how strong your faith is, especially the way you built it up, the foundation of how you built up your faith is beautiful, because that's the only way you could get over self doubt is being so faithful and just your abilities that others' perception of you don't even matter anymore. Exactly.
Speaker 2:And I could see that, I could see you, that you're living in that, and that's beautiful. Because even when I started, I felt, of course, I felt self doubt. That's why I didn't even record, because I was insecure about how I looked. I was insecure about being myself. Yeah, just being myself. Yeah. That's the best way to do it. That's why people are going to gravitate to you when you start your podcast, because you're yourself.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that's what I've started to specifically work on. I'm like you know what, lord, I trust in you and I trust that you're gonna help me through this. Because that same thing when you mentioned about you felt like the way you look, all of those other stuff, the insecurities come up and for me, I've gained a significant amount of weight compared to the cursey before. So that was another thing that hit me. It's like, oh my gosh camera adds like 10 pounds on you and it's like I started to look at that and I was like, no, all of these other stuff and I think that's probably why it didn't happen when it did is because I had to go through a period of time of loving on myself, finding who I am in the Lord, and through that it gave me the confidence to where I was now. So I think it's like visions you'll have them and they'll happen in the future. And I think that vision came back then and it wasn't until now.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It wasn't until for this time. You had to go through that to even gain the clarity of your vision yes, add more details in that vision yes.
Speaker 2:Because I always say this and I'm working on it. Visualization is probably the hardest part I deal with when it comes to manifestation, because I'm not really a planner, just like, visualizing myself in the future is probably one of the biggest things. I know that if I could use that tool and like focus on that image, it's over, but most of the time when I try doing it it's blank, like I can't really see.
Speaker 1:When you share that. This came to mind, right, it's a lot of work too, because when there's a lot of baggage from the past or like from anywhere, it starts to block your vision, right? So I don't know if you've ever heard of like writer's block and other stuff like that. It's like something I won't say like spiritual or whatever, but it's almost like where your mind is at right now is like it needs to evolve to see in future. Deja, who's Deja in the future? What are the things Deja is gonna be in the future? And I think what's happening is you are walking on that path. You just can't see it Because, remember, we're always more critical on ourselves. We're always more critical than ourselves, because other people can see that in the future, they can see that in you, and yeah, yeah, yeah, and that's why I feel like I'm not too worried about it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's just gonna be an extra tool to like solidify everything, but I'm not too worried about it because, like you said, I'm already walking in it. Yeah, you're on that path, that's why I won't even say it's a block, probably because I'm walking in it. You can't see it. You know, yeah, sometimes you can't see how limiting certain things can be, or how uplifting or appreciative you are of certain things, until you leave, like you know, your hometown.
Speaker 1:Yep, yep, and you know what I'm gonna say now. Yeah, I already know what you're gonna say.
Speaker 2:She made it and we went the Bible verses since I touched down yeah, you know, it says a prophet has no honor in his hometown.
Speaker 1:Yeah, a prophet has no honor in his hometown. And it's like familiarity breed contempt. That one's not a verse, but that one's a popular scene. And I think, yeah, stepping out of your area and coming out and recognizing who you are and the gifts that you have and what you contribute to the world.
Speaker 2:And that's why I'm so grateful to be here right now with you you know what I mean. At the time it happened, how it happened. A purpose is happening for her. It's so beautiful, you know.
Speaker 1:Yep, it definitely is. Yeah, and I'm excited for you for the new year as well, and to see what path you take and to know that you're just walking on it and, like you know, just to throw this in there, like we walk by faith and not by sight, yep, and bars Cause, like when you said what you said in terms of not being able to see it, I just want to add to it it's like you're not gonna see it physically, right, yeah, but it's happening, like there's a cutting and clearing happening and we, like you said, like you know, we walking into 2024 by faith, not by sight, because it's like, by faith, that's not something tangible. Yeah, that's not something that you can physically see. That's something that you believe in and hoping for and you know that it's gonna happen.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the knowing is everything, yeah.
Speaker 1:The knowing cause, you know who. You trust in him Stronger than the belief, yeah, the knowing. Yeah, once you know who he is and you trust in him. He gonna make your path straight and clear.
Speaker 2:So and one of the biggest things that I appreciate about this year is that I was able to not allow negative moments and dwell on that, like I wasn't allowing it to even mess with my day. You know what I mean? Yeah, and that's like a skill, it is. It's a skill because God tests doing different ways, like let's see how you're gonna react to this, let's see how you're gonna react to that. And Well, the ability to, like you know, see by faith and not by sight, and know that this is just a moment in time Yep, and if I dwell on this, this won't just be a moment, this will be a lifetime.
Speaker 1:Exactly.
Speaker 2:So that's the biggest thing I learned this year, and anybody that's seen me like earlier 2023 compared to now Wow, they're like. Wow, Deja, you're different. You know what I mean. Growth. Renewed mind, renewed mind, renewed mind, renewed mind. I'm very excited. What's the biggest accomplishment that you, even if you didn't even think about it like right now, think about it Like what's the biggest thing you're proud of yourself for 2023 accomplishing?
Speaker 1:Okay, and it's so funny because when you were asking not, it popped into my head. Good, and it may not be something that people would consider like an accomplishment, but I'm just gonna say it and I was able to make peace and forgive someone who had significantly wronged me. And I find that as an accomplishment because it's like it's a weight lifted off of me, cause you know, there's a saying I think I can't remember what it is it's like drinking poison and expecting the other person to like unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die, like you're the one drinking the poison and expecting the other person to die. Can't remember how to say and go, but specifically my son's father, you know a lot of things happened this year and I was able to just offer him so much love, so much peace, so much kindness, and I consider that like a massive accomplishment, because now we're at a really good place, regardless of the things that happened, and that's a big win. That's a big win.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it is. It takes people years and years and years to learn to forgive. So, for you to just have that grace and just let go, because you can't hold on and grow at the same time. You have to learn to let go.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So that's, beautiful.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and to genuinely like I think too, like I said last year, that, oh, I forgive them. I forgive them, but to see that something happened this year that triggered me and even when it triggered me, I chose kindness and like I had a moment to like completely destroy him, like going back to the topic of meekness completely, and I didn't and I genuinely wanted the best for him in that moment in time and I was able to even pray, like I was able to pray for him and like he was in a situation that was like really bad, really messed up, that he caused on himself, obviously, but I offered him grace in that moment and I offered him kindness and forgiveness and I prayed for him. And you know how powerful that is Christy.
Speaker 2:You know how powerful that is. People take kindness for weakness sometimes. That's how, like society tries to promote, you know, characteristics that aren't as loud. You know, somebody that's kind is not as loud as somebody that's mean, that's mean. But just because they have that attention, that don't mean they're more powerful.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think back to like this story in this book I was reading, or like I think my brother was telling me this story. But there's a story about, like this general right, and he was in an army by himself. Well, he had a smaller army than the other general he was fighting against. And then he got word that the army was coming into attack. Yeah, and he told all the his soldiers to go home. He don't need them. He, like he, he didn't even know how he was going to beat that army, but he told all the soldiers, go home, I don't need y'all. So the chariots, everybody come into attack, the kingdom, right, and he's sitting on top of the castle just looking at them and the other, the other, the other generals, told everybody to stop while they were going. And they were like looking at him on top and he was just calm, just looking at them and he told everybody to retreat Because he knew at that moment that he had this sense of calmness that only a madman probably could have, you know.
Speaker 2:But his faith and his security, and he knew that he was protected, that it scared them off. Even if it was 10,000 men coming against this one man, they it kind of it kind of like tripped them up because naturally ever anybody, somebody's going to respond with aggression, but there's so much strength and responding with calmness, it really, it really trips the people up. And I think of another thing where it's like if I'm ever, if I ever experienced like overt racism, where people are like overly like, like, like really coming for me, you know how I'm going to respond with calmness? Oh yeah, cause they're not expecting that. They're not expecting that. They see you're powerful. That's the main thing. They see you're more. You're powerful, like you are in control of your emotions and your reactions and they are just a slave to their emotions and reactions. That's why they're even attacking you, because they're trying to see how powerful you really are and you're really powerful.
Speaker 1:Calmness is not a weakness, it's a strength. It's a strength. Blessed are the meek.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so that's really how I feel about that.
Speaker 1:Well, that was very deep, Deja. I really appreciate that story, cause I'm just I'm sitting over here and my mind is just going, going, going, going going and it's like well cause, emotional intelligence and, like you said, calmness, and I struggled with that a lot in my life.
Speaker 2:It's hard, it's hard.
Speaker 1:Cause I would just outburst and being very talkative, you don't? You don't learn like kind of when to turn off.
Speaker 2:Right yeah.
Speaker 1:And I have learned that now, like there's a time in place for everything, there's a time to speak, there's a time for all of that and there's so much power, like you said in in calmness, right, and like when you're provoked, specifically when you're provoked Cause that would be like you you mentioned the case with the overt racism that would be provocation, like you're being provoked. You're being you're being taunted because they want you to react, and then to know that look this person and most people are going to react.
Speaker 1:Yes, Most people are going to react and they're going to react, and a lot of times now, what we're seeing is people reacting very violently and what they do is gas light and then say, oh yeah, you see, you see, you see what I told you about this person, this person's yeah, anger, angry, angry. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, that's it, that's it, that's it. Obviously, like we've mentioned before, our stuff like that evolve in the states and as black people grow stronger, it's gonna be through that emotional intelligence and coming together and saying, look, I'm not with this because you trying to get me to react, because I think there is power and unity. That is how they will definitely because, if you look at like, remind me now, remember now, I'm very uncensored when it comes to talking about this, talk about it.
Speaker 2:So like we love it.
Speaker 1:I'm in the Caribbean so I take things very. I just say it right. So like I'm not afraid because I'm not in a country where I have to be politically correct or else there's people that will cancel me, as well as there'll be people that will attack me.
Speaker 1:But I can say, from my perspective and from what I've seen and what I've experienced, once you start to see unity which is happening as much as the media likes to portray that it's not because a lot of things has been weaponized against the black community.
Speaker 1:I think, once you start to see that unity happening and that specific element that you said emotional intelligence, because I'm gonna tell you right, in the Caribbean we have people that come here from other places that they have mastered their emotions and they know us as Caribbean people are people of African descent, they know that we have those triggers, whereas if you do us something, we're going to react right and I think, learning how they operate and working with them and watching the things that they do, I say, okay, this is what you're doing.
Speaker 1:I'm over here playing chess, but you over here playing checkers, it's okay, I'm not gonna react to you because that's what you want, so that you can say see what I said about the specific person or what I said about the specific race or the specific type of people, that's how they behave because we have it in a different form, whereas we don't have it in terms of our color, we have it in terms of our nationality. So we'll have people that come here and say, oh, kimanians, or this, they stereotype us, or they're lazy, or oh you know, they're aggressive, or whatever the case may be. So I would say that as my people learn to gain emotional intelligence and as other black persons in the states start to walk in, that it's powerful because they're like yo, I'm taunting this person and they're not reacting. They're not reacting and they're coming together and they're recognizing look, that is what they wanna say. They wanna say that, oh, you know, there's shootouts in this neighborhood, or oh, they're killing each other, they're doing this, they're doing that, and then eventually it starts exposing.
Speaker 2:It, does you start exposing yourself and that facade can no longer hold it? It can't Because the walls come down. Yeah, because you see that your actions are no longer justified, because you did not get the reaction that you wanted. So it's like putting a mirror up at yourself and really seeing what you're really doing for what it is, without the evil intent behind it that you wanted to get out of it. Yeah, yeah, I hope I didn't go over your heads, you know.
Speaker 1:You know, if you still hear, you still hear.
Speaker 1:But, yeah, that was pretty deep Deja, because that was summarizing it in a nutshell as to what it's used for.
Speaker 1:Because it's used to it's an evil intent behind it, right, and this just to throw this out there. Like you know, I don't believe that all white persons come with that intention, but the majority. What we're seeing, and based on history and so forth, I also feel like there's a lot of healing that needs to happen. Yeah, and they can't put that healing on the people that they hurt, right, they have to ultimately walk in grace and in love as well. Right, and when I say that, I mean there's people that will say, for example, if you're in a store and you know how profiling and other stuff go, right, and I'm a white store owner and I see you come into my store automatically, I'm going as an emotional, intelligent person, I'm gonna know that you're afraid of me, right, and not afraid of me as in like, you fear me, but you know that what has happened to people that has walking stores like that? They may be called the police. They may say, oh, this person came to shoplift or something of the sort.
Speaker 1:I as a white person in that circumstance would know look, I need to be gentle with this person. I need to be kind to this person, not just kind kind. You know what I mean. Not just kind kind. Karen is not kind. Yeah, or when the kind kind talking about the fakeness right, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like that fake niceness that smile yeah that little.
Speaker 2:You know the smile.
Speaker 1:I know the smile, I know the little smile, they do that smile out here and came in too. They do that smile out here and came in too.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, it's global.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we used to it. But, like I said, I try to look at it from. I try to see the good.
Speaker 2:The, the, the, yeah, that that smile.
Speaker 1:What yeah, that one. Yeah, that one yeah.
Speaker 1:I try to see the good in in all people. Obviously, we know some people have, like, their own intentions and, like I said, k-man is not as racially charged as the US. So I've had to come to a conclusion that my experience is very different because of you know me being fairer skin than than my sister. You know my experience has been different from her and it's not until you start to experience it yourself and until you watch your other friends, like I shared about the situation at you know, at the place that I'm leaving work and I can just open and speak about it, because I stopped hearing and I watched how they targeted a black rasta girl. I watched how they targeted her and I watched how they let her go and yeah, it was a apartheid is the word I'm gonna use. I'm gonna use um masa that you know ran with her plan and I watched it happen and that's when I realized a lot of the things that are being said. It's actually true, like these people really don't have good intentions.
Speaker 2:And it's. It's going back to weaponizing almost everything we know and love as black people music, food, media, entertainment, yeah, and love has become weaponized and that also feeds into the collective self doubt, yeah, that collective feeling of not being good enough.
Speaker 2:You know, it has been programmed into us from young, we don't even wanna leave the house with our natural hair is deemed unkept. It's, it's, it's rooted in social and and just urological ideologies. Everything is to make one race look good and the other look bad, exactly, and that's really why I feel like it's so. It's a mental warfare. We have to really understand, yeah, that there are systems, and to these spirits even, Yep In place to keep you feeling like you're not good enough, exactly Inferior.
Speaker 2:Why do you turn on the news and most likely, you're going to feel bad about what you see. You're going to feel like damn guilty. It's designed that way, feel depressed. Yeah, and it's designed that way because you don't turn on the TV. You're not gonna see two lovely black goddesses on a beach speaking life. You're not gonna see people on the land growing, planting trees, eating fruits, happy. You're not going to see that because the programming wants to keep you in this limited way of thinking.
Speaker 1:Yep, so All hope is lost is what they want to keep you in thinking. Yeah In doom and doom yeah.
Speaker 2:And it's for you to actually be strong enough, how that willpower, have that faith and not see by, not be a victim of what you see, of what you're seeing and what you're hearing. You know you say, yeah, you're in the world, but not of the world. Not of the world. Explain that Like really break that down. Wow, past the curse, dear.
Speaker 1:Well, I turn pasta now. All right. So when the Bible says we're in the world and not of the world, the church or the physical people, because I want to make that very clear the church is the invisible, church is the physical bodies, the people right, the ecclesia, the called out ones, we are not of the world, meaning the things of the world, and I think people don't understand what it means. Is systems in programs right. When it talks about the world, it's the systems in program that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, meaning the things of God. So we're in it, we're physically in it. That's what it means. Like when it says that we're in the world but we're not of the world, meaning he has a greater and higher purpose for us, so we're not of the systems and all of the things that are set to divide us All of the things that are set the boxes, the names.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the boxes, the names, everything that tells us like the things that you are certain about you and this is certain, and this is definite about me Like you know, I am who God says I am. I am made in His image. I am fearfully and wonderfully made, marvelous is His works, you know. So we are in this world, but we are not of this world, meaning the systems, all of that stuff, the participation, all of it. As we know, it's big on the participation. Yeah it's big on the participation.
Speaker 2:That's what keeps these systems in place, is your compliance, is your consent, is the participation that's what it runs off of, is your energy, you know. That's why you feel like, well, I'm not saying you in particular, but the old version of me. I'm speaking of the old version of myself, where at times I felt like living in New York was a mental warfare because my attention was always being attacked. Yeah, you have to have selective attention and environments like that, where you step outside and there's somebody there and they could tell you suck my, could tell you something disrespectful. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:True, like even up to this last yeah, even up to this last week, coming to Cayman Islands, there was like so many instances where I'm like, wow, this place is really fighting for your attention and fighting for you to participate. You know Well, like there was a scenario where some guy had just randomly came into the shop that I was at and had a knife in his hand and you know what I did? I started recording because I'm not going to allow anybody to make me feel like a victim. Exactly, you are in control of your reality.
Speaker 2:If I was scared and I started, oh my God, oh my God, yeah, no, I would have reaped what I saw. You stood on your ground. I would have reaped that fear. Your fears manifest into your reality. You have to really like look at things from a higher perspective. Don't let what's going on around you dictate how you react. You dictate how you react.
Speaker 1:By the guidance and leading of.
Speaker 1:Obviously, I think, when you, when you share that, I just I just thought of, like the boldness of it and like we go back to the verse that I've been sharing with you, that God doesn't give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind, and I think, to standing, standing on his word, standing on what it says. And a lot of it for me has just really been reading scripture right, and it starts to and reading scripture deeper from, just like the stories that you're told in Sunday school. You know what I mean, because you can hear these stories and it all sounds great or like just the regular stuff. But once you start to dive deeper and you realize that, going back to that whole, we're in the world and we're not of it, the world reaction would have been fear. In that situation, yeah, like this, yeah, oh, my God, oh, my God, yeah, and you pulled out your phone, you start recording because you say any event, that anything happens, this is recorded. This individual knows that. I'm not afraid of him.
Speaker 2:Exactly, he knows that I'm not afraid of him left when I started recording.
Speaker 1:Yep, yep. And that right there, deja is, that's powerful.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's powerful. You see, like I said, calmness is more powerful. I was thinking with clarity in that moment. If I felt in a fear mindset, I would have not. I would have been confused, yeah, I would have been. Heart would have been raised, racing, you know. There would have been no type of structure and clarity in my reaction. Calmness, yeah, you know, and I think calmness also comes with knowing, just knowing there's knowledge knowing that you're protected you're protected and just knowing that and I think that's really where my confidence comes from.
Speaker 2:To is just knowing just knowing that this is bigger than me. This podcast is bigger than me. You know just certain interactions in my day to day life, good and bad, is bigger than me.
Speaker 1:Well you know, girl, you just over here speaking life to me. I'm just so like, I'm like I want to be on this forever, you know so yeah really, that's really good yeah.
Speaker 2:And I'm happy that where it is your confidence come from.
Speaker 1:So I don't know if you've ever heard Godfiddance, godfiddance, okay yeah.
Speaker 2:So it's like she switched it up Godfiddance.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. And when I say Godfiddance I don't mean like just on myself, so it's going to be hard to explain, but I hope it doesn't fly over everyone's head If it does down that's crazy it just does Right.
Speaker 1:But I would say that my hope and my confidence comes from God, right, and it's.
Speaker 1:It goes back to talking about foundations and what you build on Right. This is sun we on the beach, right, and if I build my confidence on sun, or if I build my confidence on the ocean, if I build my confidence on anything else, it's going to be tossed and turned. Sun, it's going to be sifted. Right, it's going to move. But if my confidence is built on a firm foundation and I know there's obviously Christian songs and other stuff that say Christ, the solid rock I stand my confidence is built on him and, like his finishing work and what he's done, so I I mirror that back to say this is who I serve, this is what I believe in, and it goes back to you saying that this is bigger than you and this is a higher purpose.
Speaker 1:So I would say that my confidence stem from my belief and trust in him and what he has already done. Like there's nothing more that I know to do. Right, I don't need to do nothing more besides trust and believe in him and that's how I walk. Like it says in the Bible that you'll be bold as a lion, right and bold as a lion, true him. Because I know, listen, and there's also like a picture that you've seen before when you see like a lioness, and you look behind the lioness and you see the lion Right, she's confident. And when you look behind her, you see a lion Right, and that's how my relationship is with the Lord. I know that here I am, he's training me, he's molding me, he's making me and I know he's right behind me. So I'm confident in who he is. So, because I'm confident in who he is, I'm confident in who I am, because I'm created in his image.
Speaker 2:And that's really what it is. You see, a lot of false gods are promoted in this day and age. That we did talk about last night. We had a lot of revelations happening.
Speaker 1:Yes, definitely.
Speaker 2:Awakening happened last night. I'm glad that we timed this episode so perfectly Fresh off of that conversation because, I'm still like sitting with that conversation from last night. But all of that being said, sometimes back to that programming. It's not programmed to look luxurious or look fun or look like you can even enjoy it when you turn to God. You got the stigmas with the Jesus freaks and you got these different stigmas set in place and different alternative ways of religion that doesn't require as much commitment, that doesn't look at the longevity and doesn't look at it, doesn't have a strong foundation.
Speaker 2:God is the strongest foundation.
Speaker 1:He is on Christ, the solid rock I stand.
Speaker 2:It's the strongest foundation, so it's beautiful that your God-fidence is just peaking right now.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Just to add to that right. It's and this is where humility comes in, because I know it's nothing of my own right, and when I say nothing of my own, I specifically mean there's nothing that I could do to gain his love. It was already there, it was already given to me, right, and it's not, it's unconditional.
Speaker 1:There's nothing that I do, and in the Bible it says that there's nothing that separates us from the love of God, and I think, feasting on his word and recognizing, I don't look at, I'm going to be straight. I don't look at Christianity as a religion. I look at it as a way of life and I think if other Christians looked at it as a way of life and like more so implemented as a lifestyle, it would be more something like attractive to others. Right, and I think what people have seen to be very honest. People have seen the religious side of it. They see the oh, we got to be in church every single Sunday, we got to do this, we got to. It's like a to-do list right.
Speaker 1:Like when you make anything to do this, it's daunting, right, but I think once you introduce people to the love of God, he starts to do the work, and that's why I was telling you. It's like it's also control as well, right, and this is where, like, most people will label me in the modern day church as almost like a rebel, but that's okay, because they labeled his disciples by them as rebels as well, because their train of thought and the way of thinking was very different, because, like you said, they came with a renewed mind. They didn't watch things like, oh, if this person comes inside, you know the church building or whatever, in case maybe they're covered in tattoos or this and that, oh, you know they got demons or something's wrong with them.
Speaker 1:Like. That's the experience that I think a lot of millennials and Gen Zs have had, and Kirstie's tatted up for my audio listeners, so she definitely was like that as like that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so that was that. And once you start to understand the holiness of God and once you start to get like the deep teachings and you hunger for that, he starts to clean you up. And when I say he starts to clean you up, there's things that I used to like that I don't like anymore. There's things that I used to do that I don't do anymore. And that's not because somebody told me that you need to stop doing it.
Speaker 1:It's because I read it in his word, I felt convicted and I felt the need to make a change, and I think a lot of people need to just allow the whole of spirit to do the work. It's not our duty, just like when I shared with you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, this year has been just like such a purge for me.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So I know something big is happening next year and, like you said, sometimes when you have a renewed mind, you're not doing the same things you had when you had that old mindset. So your environment is obviously going to look different, but it's not going to happen overnight. You're going to have to go through this waiting period where your environment or your circle specifically the people you keep around isn't going to understand you anymore.
Speaker 2:No, they don't Because they've known this version of you for so long, that's what they're familiar with, that's what they're comfortable with. So when you go through this transformation, it's going to be hard, it's going to feel isolating at times because you set up this routine for yourself, where you were just, you know, feeding on your impulses. You weren't as disciplined, you weren't as serious and committed to your walk of faith. But now, when you walk with faith, people who aren't walking in faith may see that as a threat, because now it shows them the potential of what can happen if they do walk in faith but they don't have that discernment and they don't have that discipline to even go on, or that even the courage takes courage to go on that journey, to even get to that sense of just peace within. It's a journey. It's constantly happening.
Speaker 2:You may think you overcame certain things and then something happens where it's like, okay, I may not think I'm as healed as I thought I was, but, all of that being said, this year, really, I went through this cleanse and I've been going through this cleanse. This is not the first year that I felt like this. You know, it's not to say that you just go through this cleanse and it's done. I feel like it's constantly happening and when you actually become that butterfly, you go through that full transformation. The people around you are going to reflect that. They're going to be people who are speaking with substance, speaking with dictation, speaking with a life, speaking confidently, not so easily swayed and influenced, and they're just gonna be a reflection of you, you know.
Speaker 1:That's all the foundation. You're gonna find people that are standing on a rock, not on sand, and not built. Their houses are no longer built by the water you know where the floods come in and crashes it down whereas a house built on rock by the water the water is gonna come in right, but it has to recede back out and the house is still gonna be standing so when those waves start crashing over you when you're on a solid rock. You're there.
Speaker 1:There's nothing but if you're on sand, like you said, you're gonna be easily swayed you're gonna go in all different type of directions.
Speaker 2:And I don't know, but sometimes back to the glamorization of just negative, toxic behaviors. That made me feel guilty and feel like I'm boring or I'm not as fun as I used to be or I'm not as witty and funny and charming and attractive as I used to be, because now I'm speaking in a way that I don't really hear most people around me speaking. You know what I mean. It made me feel like a little nerd, like a dork, and I didn't really fully embrace my transition for a while, which hinders you. You know, when you don't fully embrace your time, when you know it's your time to step out of old habits, when you don't fully embrace that, you start to walk around with this feeling of guilt, resentment. You know there's your circle. Now you're looking at them, you're like this is what I'm dealt with, like I can't change this, and you become a victim to your reality, it's like you're out of control at that point.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. I think that is profound because that goes back to the scene about being in the world but not of the world, because you're in it but you're not like them around you. Yeah, exactly, and it starts to be when God calls you. And I guess say this when God calls you, he isolates you, right?
Speaker 1:Because, he has to clean you up, he has to clean up all the things. It's like pruning right, you're on a potter's wheel and literally it's like sanctification. That's the process that you talked about going through that process of growth and going through all of those changes. That's the process that in all of us. In Christianity we call that sanctification meaning. He's making you more like Christ, and you touched on the topic of like being called boring and all of that stuff. That's a lot of time to stick with it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's the old programming, trying to hold on and not be reprogrammed.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it's resisting change is what it's doing. It sets itself up to be like no, what are you doing? This is not you.
Speaker 2:But change is so natural, so that's why it's like you can't resist something that's natural to you.
Speaker 3:We're all gonna have to come to that point on our own, you know, on our own, and that's the big part on our own.
Speaker 2:I'm not going to run down no friends, no man, no body, not even my closest. You know people to me. I'm not gonna run you down and try to make you think the way I think Exactly About your life, because you are the captain of your faith. I'm a captain of my faith. We all have our own timing of when we're supposed to learn things.
Speaker 2:And it's funny because I was reading another story where it was like there was this farmer lady and she had a bunch of baby chicks right and she used to be eager to have the chicks, you know, and just grow them and feed them and to chickens. And sometimes she'll be so eager that when the chick makes a sound she'll like break the egg and try to make it easier for them to come out, for them to come out. But in doing that her son started to realize that the chicks she did that to did not live as long as the chicks that naturally came out, their shell came out, their sorry egg, wow, and hatched by itself and had and grew the strength to come out the egg shell by itself. You know, when you help, when she helped them it actually shortened their lifespan, wow. And she and her son brought the awareness to her and she stopped helping them. Sometimes you can't just, you have to help yourself. You have to help yourself because then that's when those strong characteristics are built.
Speaker 1:Did you just blew my mind, like I'm just sitting here? That just blew my mind, because that's it right there and that is called the process. Yeah.
Speaker 2:You cannot intervene.
Speaker 1:Yeah, trust the process and you cannot intervene in that. Like. Sometimes we see and I think that's the most important part about being somebody that just guides, leads, and that's leadership. Like, I'm gonna be straight, leadership is not controlling, leadership is not trying to get you to think like me. Leadership is to show you a path and it's up to you if that's the path that you're gonna take. But that is very profound, because what she was doing right there in her mind, she thought it was something that was helping and I think that's something that we can learn from that story. She thought she was actually helping but she was actually harming.
Speaker 1:And sometimes we see situations and we see things and like it's a lack of faith when you don't trust that person's ability to figure it out. And I think that happens with parents when they try to control their children. Or if I have built, if I know that I've built a good foundation for Noah, right, I have to trust the fact that he is smart enough to know certain things, to not do certain things. And even if he does those certain things right, he will figure himself out, and I am there If he stretches his hands out. I'm there to hold it right. But other than that, there's things that I have to allow him to go through because he has to learn and he has to develop, because if I intervene or if I continue to hold him down, he's gonna get out there and he's not gonna know what to do Because I didn't allow him to properly develop. He's gonna become dependent.
Speaker 2:Bags, Bags. First, Steve. Now we were spitting Any last words for the people.
Speaker 1:Wow, deja, you just amplified the pressure. I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:I didn't mean to do that. I didn't mean to do that, no.
Speaker 1:I'm getting into it now, so I need to be able to share that. Yeah, I would just like to touch on the sentiments that we said. Okay, we're in the world and we're not of the world. You know those of us that are on that path, following the Lord. I think what I wanna leave them with is the verse that I gave you that we have not been given a spirit. I think it's 2nd Timothy, 1,7. And then don't quote me, just look it up. You'll find it right?
Speaker 1:I just yeah. It says that we have not been given a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind, right? So we spoke today on this episode about self-doubt, how limiting beliefs and programings and other things that we spoke about a lot of stuff, how those things can affect us. So I really want to leave that verse Again. It's we have not been given a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind.
Speaker 2:And a sound mind. Yeah, all it starts in a mind people. Yeah, focus up, be mindful. Yeah, mind over matter. You get me Gotcha.
Speaker 1:If you listen to the end year.
Speaker 2:If you listen to the end of another episode, I appreciate you. I'm a telepathy telepathy, telepathy, telepathy. Mother that is mind over matter baby.