Me. vs. Me

I explore the constant tug-of-war between our old and new selves, and how embracing challenges can physically change our brains and expand our potential.

Chapters

• 0:00 Do One Thing Daily That Scares You
• 2:57 Embracing The Woman I Am
• 7:20 When Old Environments Pull You Back
• 11:32 The Brain's Challenge Center
• 17:07 Nobody Is Going To Save You

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

do at least one thing every day. That scares you, because you don't want to live in a reality where you constantly know you could be doing more but you're not doing it. You know it's like damn. You're doing yourself an injustice, you're cheating yourself out of your destiny. It's really you versus you. You're really the reason you're in this reality. You are right now and I say all of that to say that just go past that threshold that you feel like you can't go past, because you can, and once you get past that hardship and that threshold, you actually just raise that limit that you even gave yourself Mind.

Speaker 2: 0:54

Over Matter is magic, I do magic. Mind Over Matter is magic, I do magic. Mind Over Matter is magic, I do magic.

Speaker 1: 1:25

Yeah, yeah, welcome to mind over matter. Baby. I'm your host, deja wallace, and if this is your first time joining me, welcome. If this is not your first time joining me, welcome back. Big episode 102, find your head Stop Welcome. Thank you for joining me. I love that for you, I love that for me, I love that for us. Like we locked in, we locked in. Okay.

Speaker 1: 2:06

So on today's episode, I'll be talking about being the old version myself versus being the new version myself. I'll be talking about just the tug of war between the old me and the new me, and also just going through hardships and just embracing the unknown and embracing challenges. So if this is something you're interested in, kick back, relax, grab something to eat, get cozy and let's get into this episode. But if you're fasting, you don't have to get nothing to eat. Nothing to eat, it's okay. Um, shout out all my muslims. All right, let me stay focused. Let's stay focused on today's episode. I already told you what I'll be talking about, so let's get right into it. Episode. I already told you what I'll be talking about, so let's get right into it. Where do I start? Where do I begin? Okay, boom, right now I'm just living life for real and I'm excited for the future because I'm at a point where I'm embracing the woman. I am At a point where I'm embracing the woman I am. For a while I mean for a while I've been it's been a tug of war with really embracing the version of myself that God is calling me to be and that really matches with the future I envisioned for myself. And it's beautiful, like it's beautiful Every version that I had to go through to become the version I am right now. It's beautiful because I started to realize like they're all me. Every single phase is's me, you know, and I look back to like, or even listen back to like, episode one and I'm on episode 102. So if you've been there and if you've been listening to the podcast, you've heard the evolution, you've been listening to the podcast, you've heard the evolution, you've even seen the evolution. But they're all the same person. If you get me, you get me. If you get me, you get me, because I'm really sitting here just like, wow, that's so beautiful. They're all the same version, but just different points and you had to go through, I had to go through all those versions to get to this version and for a while I've been just neglecting versions of myself because it did not align with the version of myself I wanted to become and it's crazy because, like I said for a while, it was like old Deja on one side, the version of myself I wanted to become, on the other side, so old Deja and new Deja.

Speaker 1: 5:24

It's of myself I wanted to become on the other side, so old Deja and new Deja. It's like, no, I want this version. No, I want that version. No, I want this version. It's like you know, mary J Blige, like just tugging, tugging back and forth, no, no. I think that right now I have to embrace this version that I am.

Speaker 1: 5:54

And I think back to times where I really felt like the old version was winning at this tug of war. The old version was winning at this tug of war because I would put myself in environments that I outgrown and go back into familiar habits, because I was in those familiar environments with those familiar faces and people. And then that's when the old version of yourself wants to take over the most, because it's like, okay, I'm here with so and so usually when we're here in this environment, we're doing our usual hood rat activities, and that's usually what I do when I'm in this environment and it's like the new version of myself shies away because it's like I don't know how to interact with this environment because I'm not supposed to be here. If you like, that was just a revelation, like I had to really pause because that was like an epiphany I just had. But I'm saying all of that to say no matter where you are, embrace who you are, becoming no-transcript.

Speaker 1: 7:18

And what I started to realize is that when I do go into those old environments with those old people that I've outgrown, it's like my brain goes into autopilot. I'm like, okay, this is usually how I interact when I'm in these environments and I'm with these people, so I'm just going to continue doing that. I don't want them to see that new version of myself and it's just easier. You know, I feel like it's just easier, it's more comfortable, it's less restrictive to what's going on in that reality at that time. And that's why I say it's so important to surround yourself with people who match the version of yourself you are going to become. Because of that same exact reason. It's life is. Life is less resistant, it flows more. You don't want to keep having to combat that old version of yourself and that new version of yourself. I really started to just embrace the woman I'm becoming. Like I shied away from her. I've been running from her. I've been like, no, I'm scared, like I don't know what she, what she's about to get me into. But she's about to get me into something big, something good.

Speaker 1: 8:36

Also, when you do go back into those old version of yourself that's no longer serving where you're going in your life and you do indulge in those old patterns and habits, what you start to realize is that it's no longer going to fulfill you, it's no longer going to give you that same gratification it once gave you. For instance, like, say, I'm in these old environments with these old friends doing these old hood rat activities. When I'm doing it now, it doesn't feel the same, it doesn't give me that same oomph. You know, no longer tickles my pickle and there's a reason it no longer tickles your pickle. You know it's not supposed to tickle your pickle anymore because that's no longer who you are and it's okay. It's okay.

Speaker 1: 9:25

It's like a snake, almost a snake. When a snake sheds its skin, it goes on about life Continuously developing new skin and shedding. It doesn't go back and tries to put back on that old coat of skin. If you get me, you get me, because it wouldn't make sense. It's old skin. Let it go, release it. You know, embrace the new skin you're in.

Speaker 1: 10:02

And I'm saying all of that to say embrace who you are becoming. I know it's scary, I know it's the unknown, it's, it's frightening. You know you don't know what that new version is going to get you into. But trust me, just embrace her, just give her, just give her, just give her a year at least. Just embrace her for a year. Stop resisting her, deja, stop. Embrace her like she's cool. Like resisting her, deja, stop. Embrace her Like she's cool, like she's really cool. She's still with the shits. Like, stop acting like you don't, you don't. You know she is hella cool. And I think just us as humans, like we're comfortable with the known, you know, I know old Deja, she she cool too, but like she, she's a little unhinged. You know, you get me. Just, I'm saying that all to say that sometimes it's easier to hold on to that old version, you know.

Speaker 1: 11:22

But, um, I recently learned that there's a part of the brain called the anterior singular cortex. I'm not saying that word again. It's called the ACC. Yeah, that's what we're going to call it. Call it ACC. So that part of the brain is specifically responsible for dealing with challenges. And it's interesting because that part of the brain is actually smaller in people who have obesity, depression, suicidal thoughts, etc. And that part of the brain is actually larger in people who are actively trying to trying to seek life from a more positive perspective, from optimists, from people who just see life from just the glass half full compared to it being half empty, just people who have more gratitude towards their everyday reality.

Speaker 1: 12:41

And what I found interesting is that there's a specific part in our brains that's designated to dealing with challenges and hardships and we actually disrupt the equilibrium of that part of our brain, that ACC, if we are going out of our way to look for the easy way out, to not challenge ourselves, to be more comfortable, not withstand hardship. And that really blew my mind. I was just sitting back like, wow, the brain is so interesting. Wow, because, like, really sit back and think about that, like, take a second, you should think about it, take a second, you should think about it, take a second.

Speaker 1: 13:43

And it's like we are literally doing the ACC an injustice if we try to go back to what's comfortable and familiar. You know, and I also started to remember that, like a lot of the times when I did go back into old habits, if I did go to a function, see some old faces be in like familiar environments that I stopped going to when I did hit a little blunt you know what I mean or like did drink a little bit too much, I was so hard on myself, and it's like give yourself grace, you're still learning. You're still learning. You know, you're still learning how to embrace these versions of yourself. You know, and we're constantly evolving Life is a constant evolution and it's like when you do choose to challenge yourself, to be that version of yourself you want to become, when you do become a little uncomfortable and go to the gym that day, you know you hate going to the gym or if you do eat a bowl of salad and you know you hate vegetables, it's like you just feel yourself growing a little stronger.

Speaker 1: 15:21

When you do get past that emotion of not wanting to do it, because emotions are always fleeting, literally just emotions. They're not who you are do actively and consciously take these strides to challenge ourselves and make it a habit to just embrace discipline and hardship, it's like you feel stronger. You feel like, yeah, yeah, I'm her, I'm him or whatever the hell you identify as I'm that girl. That's how I feel me personally. That's how I feel. It's like, yeah, I did that. You know, I went through that period of time and I seen the end of it and I never regret. I never, ever regret doing it when I get to the end of it. And it's like I always regret being complacent or just being comfortable or just being average. I always regret it. I always regret it being average. I always regret it. I always regret it. So, yeah, I'm just challenging right now to do at least one thing every day.

Speaker 1: 16:48

That scares you, because you don't want to live in a reality where you constantly know you could be doing more but you're not doing it. You know it's like damn. You know it's like damn. You're doing yourself an injustice, you're cheating yourself out of your destiny. It's really you versus you. You're really the reason you're in this reality. You are right now and I say all of that to say that just go past that threshold that you feel like you can't go past, because you can, and once you get past that hardship and that threshold, you actually just raise that limit that you even gave yourself, that limit that you even gave yourself. And it's just like crazy how, as you start embracing who you are meant to be, you are actively just going to move in more alignment with, more purpose and things that aren't for you. It's obvious that it's a distraction. Now it's super obvious. It becomes so obvious like, yeah, that's not for me. Because then you start to realize like, if this isn't matching with where I want to go, why am I doing it?

Speaker 1: 18:27

In every aspect of your life, and you never want to live in that state of just quiet desperation which I feel like a lot of people live in. It's a state of just knowing there's so much potential that you just shy away from because you're scared. Oh, I'm scared. It's like yo, you really going to let that temporary emotion dictate your entire life? And now you are how many years old and you never sought out the things that was destined for you to seek out? Yeah, I would never want to be that. I would never want to live in that state of quiet desperation.

Speaker 1: 19:25

That's why, if you don't get anything from this podcast, get this in your thick skull, because I don't get how you listen all the way to this point, you're not getting anything right now. Get this through your thick skull. Nobody is going to save you. Nobody's gonna save you. You have to literally pick your ass up, get out of bed and save your damn self.

Speaker 1: 19:57

We all got the same 24 hours and just make it the best, even if it's 1% better than yesterday. Just make it a little better each and every day. And that's really what I'm doing. If you want to do that, you can do it. If you don't, you don't. I'm not even going to force you. Do what you need to do, but I'm doing what I need to do. And if you listen to the end of another episode, I appreciate you, like you really came back To listen to another episode, like you really love yourself. I could tell you love yourself. Like, look at you, look at you looking all Scrumdiliosious I could tell you love yourself, you know. And, yeah, make sure you tell a friend to tell a friend to tell a friend. Mother, that is mind over matter, baby.

Speaker 2: 20:56

I do magic. You think the memories of the mellows may change. May change.