Ideal Practice
Ideal Practice
#69. Ditch Perfection and Claim Your True Worth: A Deep Conversation with Ryane LeCesne
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What's lurking in your subconscious, subtly sabotaging your success?
All too often, high-achieving practice owners (like YOU!) hold themselves back due to limiting beliefs like imposter syndrome, perfectionism, and something my guest this week calls “distractionism’.
So it was a real treat when I got to spend time with mindset master and achievement accelerator, Ryan LeCesne who can help all of us with this. She has spent nearly a decade helping others conquer these self-limiting beliefs, and tap into their full potential. And she has wisdom to share that you and I both need to hear.
Join us for a profound discussion on the 'shadow side' of running a practice, the unspoken internal struggles, and the personal confidence gap that keeps so many of us from reaching our true capabilities.
In this episode you’ll hear:
- about the importance of clear communication, not just with others, but with ourselves, especially when it comes to understanding and articulating our worth.
- how to become an acute observer of your own tendencies, catch the limiting beliefs before they take hold, and shifting your perspective to reclaim your power.
- some of Ryane's transformative tips on tackling fear head-on.
This is more than a conversation; it's an invitation to break free of your limitations, unlock your full potential, and make your mark on the world.
~Wendy
xoxo
P.S. “Oh my gosh, I love this Wendy!“ If that’s what you find yourself saying as you listen, would you please share a little love with a 5 star review and a few words over on Apple Podcasts? Your support means more than you can imagine, and helps us get discovered by others who could use this kind of encouragement. Thank you! 🙏
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TODAY’S GUEST: RYANE, LeCESNE
Ryane LeCesne is the Master Your Mindset Coach. Since 2012, she has coached nearly 1,000 high-achieving women – specializing in the unique needs of high-achieving Black women – to advance their professional dreams by overcoming and healing from the self-limiting mindsets of Impostor Syndrome, Perfectionism, and Distractionism.
She helps clients advance their professional and personal dreams with ease and grace by coaching them to close their confidence gap, identify their personal brand, and live their brilliance.
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WHERE to FIND HER
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MENTIONED:
The Courage to Be Disliked: How to Free Yourself, Change Your Life, and Achieve Real Happiness by Ichiro Kishimi, Fumitake Koga, et al.
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Wendy Pitts Reeves, LCSW
Host, Ideal Practice
Private Practice Coach and Mentor
www.WendyPittsReeves.com
Wendy@WendyPittsReeves.com
You're listening to ideal practice, episode number 69. And today, guys, I've got a conversation for you that I think you are going to thoroughly enjoy, because we we went deep y'all. I have an outstanding guest that you are going to love Ryane LeCesne. Ryane is she calls herself the master, your mindset coach, and you'll see why once you get to know her together in this conversation, we're going to show you how to value your value, that is, how to get out of your own way so that you can make the kind of difference in the world that you and I both know you have been called to make. So stay tuned.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:Hi, I'm Wendy Pitts Reeves and, with over two decades of experience in the private practice world, I've built my six figure business while learning a lot of lessons the hard way. This is the first podcast that shows you how to apply the principles of energy alignment and strategy to build a practice that is profit centered, but people forward. This is the ideal practice podcast. Hey, guys, and welcome back. This is Wendy. Thank you so much for tuning into another episode of the ideal practice podcast. So let me tell you about what you're about to get into. I am about to share with you a conversation that I have with Ryane LeCesne. Ryane is she calls herself the master your mindset coach since 2012. So she's been at this for a while. She has coached nearly a thousand high achieving women, specializing specializing in the unique needs of high achieving black women, where she helps them to advance their professional dreams by overcoming and healing from the self limiting mindsets of imposter syndrome. Can you relate to that? Perfectionism Perhaps you can relate to that and what she calls distraction ism.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:We talked about the shadow side of running a practice. Y'all this was a whole new concept. We talked about how your limiting beliefs, which are so sneaky Sometimes you don't even know you got them are holding you back and what you can do about that. It was really really a nice, deep, wide ranging conversation and my hope is that you are going to be inspired to think more of yourself and to show up in the world in a bigger way, so that your awesomeness will shine for everybody. Yeah, that's what we're talking about, so let's get into the interview, all right? Hello everyone, and welcome back to the podcast. I'm so glad to have you here today. I have a real treat for you today. I'm going to introduce you to someone I have only recently met and right off the bat we had a conversation that just went in so many places that it was hard to rain it in. So I want to bring on to the show and welcome you, Ryane LeCesne. Right, am I saying that right?
Ryane LeCesne:Yes, yes, that's right. Thank you, Wendy. Thank you to you and your listening audience for having me on your amazing show. I'm really excited to dive in today's conversation.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:It's going to be juicy, yay, yay. So, right off the bat, the minute we connected, we instantly found that we had a common cause, which was we want to elevate women in particular. We want to help people overcome all kinds of limiting beliefs, to be more successful in their lives and in the world, and to bring their goodness to the world, the good things they have to share. Right Well, why don't you start us off by telling us a little bit about just well? First of all, where are you? I think you're in Michigan. Am I remembering that I am? I'm in.
Ryane LeCesne:Michigan. I'm originally from the Washington DC area in Virginia, but we are now in Michigan here we are Awesome.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:Yes, this morning I was thinking about this show and I was thinking is it Canada? I think she's in Canada. No, no, no, no. Michigan, that's close.
Ryane LeCesne:Very close, very close. Let's meet Canada across the waterway. We sure do.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:I am geographically challenged.
Ryane LeCesne:I love it. No, that's great.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:So who do you help and how do you help them? Let's give people a little bit of an intro.
Ryane LeCesne:Absolutely, and, just as Wendy said, we really do dovetail our synergy around our missions. My mission is to support high achieving women to really essentially advance, to live their brilliance, and what I mean by that is what also causes us to have that distance between our desires and the things that we want in our goals and where we are is what I call a personal confidence gap. And there's that gap between I have this thing, it feels like a calling for me. Whatever it is. It can be something as profound as someone's career, or it can be I really want to volunteer in this way. It can be whatever the calling is. There's a calling, there's a desire, and then there's a kind of almost like an inhale. Can I do that? Can I do it? Am I enough? And the people that I work with have a thought habit, which is a mindset. It is a habit of perceiving themselves and their position in the world through three very distinct lenses that can be very overlapping, which are through imposter syndrome.
Ryane LeCesne:So, that really trips people up. But regardless of my resume, I am so afraid of being called out for not knowing being a fraud that I will hold myself back from really fully engaging and taking action. And then there's also perfectionism that I see a lot in terms of these mindset habits that cause the same inhale and very hard to maneuver and be in flow with your goals and dreams. And perfectionism takes the lens of if what I produce is not 100% correct, like if my website isn't completely finished, or if I'm not completely looking 100%, I can't go someplace or I can't push go on my website if it's not perfect.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:Or if I don't create perfection in my clients. If my clients don't do tremendously well, like that's, I'm obviously dropping. I'm doing something.
Ryane LeCesne:Yeah, that's a huge one, wendy, particularly for this audience. For myself, you know that engagement with clients of am I showing up perfectly. What happens if I have to cancel this appointment today? Or if, you know, I sent out an email and there's a typo? Those kinds of things can really catch perfectionists and whip them around, you know okay.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:So I'm trying really hard not to laugh, because I was just telling somebody yesterday that when I first started doing weekly content of any kind of had a blog, and then I did YouTube and then I did this, I had a particular friend, a former client, who would email me every time there was a typo in my newsletters and which I didn't mind really, because I don't want typos and I am obsessive about that type of perfectionism and I thought of hers, like she was not my copy editor but like my quality control person who was out there, and I would get an email from her on Sunday morning and I would instantly be like, oh no, what did I do this time?
Ryane LeCesne:Absolutely absolutely.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:Yeah, totally good.
Ryane LeCesne:Yeah, and it can really wane on someone's self-confidence. You know I'm so glad you were able to. You know, Wendy, for yourself and for your business process that in a way where it didn't strike a chord with you of what is wrong with me, my value was associated with this email, with these mistakes. What does this mean for other people and their perception of who I am? Thank goodness you didn't go there. You know you felt that moment because you're a human, so you have all of the human emotions it registered for you.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:Oh, no kind of vulnerable out here.
Ryane LeCesne:All right, but you really had the ability to support yourself in that moment and say all right, you know I can. Actually, there's always a choice. I can choose to think this person is helping me. It might not be the most comfortable. However, my core value is to have things done correctly and this person is actually helping me and you. Through that processing, which happened pretty instantaneously. You might have had to come back to it later that day and like how do you feel about this? However, it sounds like ultimately, you were able to keep yourself afloat, rather than what we're talking about, these mindsets. Perfectionism would have halted you.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:Well, I think in the imposter syndrome and the perfectionism those are two sides of the same coin. It seems like if I'm not good enough, so I've got to be perfect. I'm never perfect, so I'm never going to be good enough. You said there was a third thing too. I do want to explore this, but what was the third thing?
Ryane LeCesne:The third thing is distractionism, and that's a that's a term that I've coined in my practice, based on my, my personal experience, as well as what I see consistently within the field, which is undiagnosed and unmanaged ADHD and it's, you know, or neurodivergence in some sense. That is not accounted for, and so I work with, you know, many women who are in their 40s and they have reached different milestones in their life where they no longer have the time or flexibility that they used to in life. Either, you know, their careers or businesses have evolved to places and spaces where they have less time. They may be, you know, have moved into parenthood, which completely zaps your time, maybe more civically engaged. So as we, you know, as we mature, we take on our responsibilities, there tends to be less time for us, which means we're really having to lean in on our executive functioning skills in a way that when we had more time, it might not have been as evident that they were weaker than we needed them to be.
Ryane LeCesne:Yeah, and so I'm finding that there's, you know, a number of people who are really incredibly smart, incredibly talented, have made it very far by following the traditional blueprint to success, and they're holding it together. Externally, they're vice presidents of things, they're business owners of things, but internally they are wrought with fear, with guilt, with sadness, with that cognitive dissidence of like. I feel like I should be feeling better in my life and I'm like yeah, I totally get that.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:These are people who are they're so good at compensating, they are determined, they are problem solvers, they make it happen, they find a way through. That's absolutely true In my world, with our audience who are, who tend to be healers, wellness professionals, psychotherapists and private practice. A lot of them are so focused on serving other people that they will drive themselves, I think, to the point of exhaustion to be there for their clients, plus their families, plus their friends, plus their church, plus whatever. And I think that these three I hadn't thought about the distraction, the distractionism, which is a great word, I hadn't thought about that before, but I do think that that's true and I think what I see this as well that so many of these folks are just flat exhausted because they are pushing so hard just to hold it together all the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ryane LeCesne:Absolutely, and I think that you know that can only, whether someone has neurodivergence or not, that can really only wane on someone's executive functioning ability, right, if you're like so burnt out and so taxed that is literally occupying that prefrontal cortex of like how do I make? What are my, what are my priorities, what are my? You know, and I think, for this particular audience and I am of this audience I am a practitioner, I'm a healer, I'm in the business of helping people. Many of us, I dare say, including myself we came into practice to practice. We didn't come into practice to be business owners and that's what we are. And so you know, there's a whole piece, at least for me and my personal experience, where one I came into coaching as I also came into my business.
Ryane LeCesne:So I had to overcome the technician part of imposter syndrome, meaning like as a coach, I can do this right, like I can actually hold the space for people, I can ask the questions. That was a whole incredible learning curve for a person who has the tendency of showing up as imposter syndrome, perfectionism and destructionism. I am my best client. So that was its own hurdle. Now, if I had gone as a coach, to be hired by a coaching agency. That would have been maybe the end of my learning curve there. However, I went into business for myself, as your audience has as well, and now it's really not about my competency as a coach although it is it's really about my competency as a business owner, and that's where my imposter syndrome, perfectionism and distractionism. Just, it wasn't even like the bandaid was ripped off, it was like the cast was taken off.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:It was like oh my goodness.
Ryane LeCesne:You know, here I am having to exchange my knowledge for dollars.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:Who am I? Who am I to do that? Who am I to do?
Ryane LeCesne:that and that was. You know, that was a really big learning curve to stand in my personal power and to begin to value my value and to begin to see that not only do I add value and that's such a nice thing for humanity I add value, and that that value is in fact exchangeable for dollars, like that is, that's the currency, and yeah.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:So I know you know this, but like that is like that, that step, what you just said about. If I was trained as a coach and I went and got a job with a coaching service, a coaching agency of some sort, that could have been the end of it. All I had to do was get comfortable with the service piece. But stepping into the role of CEO, which is what you are when you're running a practice, that's a whole nother level of performance and a whole nother level of personal growth. Right, and my people have heard this a lot when I first started my practice, I hated that part, like I mean, I loved the.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:I loved business in a lot of ways, more than I thought I would, but the whole concept of charging and collecting real, live, honest-to-god money from people, about how to melt down over it, I felt like I didn't want to touch money, like I literally physically didn't want it in the room with us. Yeah, you're nodding your head. Yeah, so for you, when you made that decision and made that leap because that is like that's the first big milestone, I think, is to learn how to be comfortable with that Talk to me about what you found for yourself personally and what you see in your coaching clients around that when you like. How do you get comfortable with the whole concept of taking money for what you do? So that's a loaded question, it's hugely important.
Ryane LeCesne:It's so, it's so, so important because I believe this is a sticking point Everyone has a money story, you know. So even the wealthiest of the wealthy have a money story of whatever it is. So and we hear that, we know that. But really I think, I think that there is like a common money story that we're talking about, which are people who come into a service and are very passionate about helping, healing, and oftentimes we are our own best clients. I know I am for myself, so imposter syndrome, perfectionism and distractionism are something that I really struggle with personally to stay like on top of, and so we often are our own best client, meaning we're like we're healing our own trauma in a lot of ways or we are evolving as our practice evolves, as our service evolves, and so, as you said, that's a whole layer of introspection and a whole layer of like, loveliness and shadow and light and all kinds of things to figure out all on its own.
Ryane LeCesne:And then, when you're talking about adding money into the story, you're really talking about some, which is probably one of the primal core primal core If someone's into the chakra system.
Ryane LeCesne:You're talking about root chakra, chakra one, two, three, your safety. You're talking about your livelihood, you're talking about your emotional support system and you're talking about your confidence. We're talking about, you know, base masal's hierarchy like the very base, base, base survival, and so there's a lot of story and stickiness there already, and the folks that we're talking to today are really looking to like go into business, I'm sure, to have freedom, to have time for you to money freedom, time with their family, their loved ones, their hobbies. And if we don't wrestle with this question, if we don't shine light on this shadow, what we wind up with are individuals who are highly talented in the midst of nervous breakdowns. Wow, you know to me what winds up happening. Because we are so committed to the practice of helping and yet if this money block doesn't release itself, we can't really have thriving businesses, and so we're always chasing our tail, say that again I'll really want to put a pin in that.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:I just wrote down the shadow side of business, the shadow side of private practice, which is really like that's a lovely concept and something I have not thought of before.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:I love that. I can totally sink my teeth into that, and what you just said was something like I want to repeat it that if you're not, if you don't tune into this shadow side of owning a business, that you end up with people who are highly effective, highly functioning, doing, doing really great work, who are having a nervous breakdown inside is that what you said? Who are falling apart inside.
Ryane LeCesne:Totally believe it, because. So just listening, wendy, to what you talked about, about how viscerally you know the dislike for money that you had, right Dislike, and I share that. I mean I really, and I was nodding like oh, I totally, totally here Understand what you're saying. I'm not that way anymore.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:I'll put it that way.
Ryane LeCesne:And you're thriving, and you're thriving, right yeah you're thriving, which is so important.
Ryane LeCesne:Yeah, understand Likewise. Likewise, because this is a real. These are paradigm shifts, you know, and I think with economics or with a goal, you can hit a goal and then you have a new goal, so you're back almost to square one, like gosh, I thought I had overcome that money story and now I'm moving into this next bracket and I've got a whole another money story. Amen, so it's ever evolving because we are sweet, dear humans. And yet I do believe that I think you know, again, going back to the statement that you made, just really dislike and I felt this way about, just as another element about communications, another element of business.
Ryane LeCesne:I hated actually coming into this year because of just life circumstances. You know, moved number of times. We have a little one. Covid was really, really challenging.
Ryane LeCesne:I wound up after really, I mean, rocking financial year with my business, just hating communications. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. I don't want to do it. It feels too exposing for me to have to, like, give my opinion all the time. I have to chase after it. I've got to, you know, all these bells and whistles. I hate it. I hated it to like a core of myself.
Ryane LeCesne:So I also recognize huh, this is a real limiting belief here. This is a real issue, you know, and so it was a real mirror for me that, as long as I hate this thing, that is actually the conduit between me and my audience. It's the flow, it's you know, and so if I am stuck in the mud around this or the quicksand around this, it is an impediment in my business, because I'm the only one here to do it, and until I wrestle that shadow into the ground, I'm going to either be doing communications and it's going to be really difficult, I'm going to be loathing this experience or I'm going to not do it and my business is going to suffer. Either way, I'm loathing.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:Let me ask you just for clarification when you're talking about communication, are you talking about reaching out to clients, returning phone calls, or you talking about social media and marketing?
Ryane LeCesne:Social media marketing having to get out and expose yourself and see where we are Again. We've moved one more time and I have to start a new network over. Oh yeah, oh no, you know, here we are. I don't want to do this.
Ryane LeCesne:Please don't make me, please don't make me and these are aspects again of owning a business, because I didn't sign up to be a social media consultant. You know, I want to be with my clients and the other part that's really slippery here is that we are one being meaning like. I am one person that has all these multifaceted experiences within myself, as we're talking about, and I don't necessarily recognize in real time and I'm just using myself as an example we as human beings don't recognize in real time because something is uncomfortable, right this? Going back to the example of communications, I have to once again, you know, send out an email and I'm sitting in front of the computer and it's very difficult, it just does not feel good. All these thoughts are going through my mind. The thoughts are not clear, like, oh, obviously you are having a limited, limiting experience right now, and just you know it sounds like I hate this, I'm not good at this. You know, stuff from the third grade comes up. You know just stuff.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:You're not having a high-minded coaching moment where you're just observing yourself and going now, honey, you know that you can do this. You're going this is a bunch of crap and I don't want to do it Like you're in the muck, in the muck, in the muck.
Ryane LeCesne:Yeah, and you know it's a lot of stuff which is how I used to feel about money.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:right, I felt that way when I was having to ask clients for money, when I had to do a billing, when I had to look at business finances. All that it just felt. So I just tended to avoid it. And, of course, what happens when you avoid it? Your business doesn't really do you very well. And communications that's a really great example, Because that also actually I see a lot of clients dealing with that. It's the whole thing about being seen. I don't want to bother people, I don't want to ask for referrals. All of it is part and parcel of the same thing. So what's the belief that's under all that, Whether it's money, what's the belief that's driving that?
Ryane LeCesne:Exactly, and that's what we've got to really hone in on and that's what I help my clients hone in on is what is the belief? What's the belief there? And it's not the behavior. So I could post 65,000 times, and that is not going to support me, feel any better about myself or about my business. Now, eventually, at some point, I might get practiced enough, but most likely, what's going to happen is exactly what you talked about, wendy, is I'm not going to do it, I'm going to avoid it, and we are business owners.
Ryane LeCesne:So there's a bazillion things I could focus on that are highly important, other than that one thing or four things that I don't want to do. So I can easily stay distracted for a long, long time, but what happens is that thing stays in the back of my mind and that thing also begins to erode my self-confidence. See, there's that one more thing you're not doing. You are not good at that. It's not again, it's not a high elevated thinking of like oh, this is a skill that, if I look at objectively, I can build the muscle around.
Ryane LeCesne:It's an internal experience. It all feels, it's all conflated, it's all one moment where it feels so yucky, you're a bad person, you can't do it and what do you think about that? You know self, and that's how we tend to talk to ourselves, and that's a habit that is a really, really detrimental habit. And so, you know, you asked at the beginning of the question what do you do about this? Like, how do you kind of get yourself out of these experiences? And one of the things that I really had to do, talking about communications, keeping with that story, is I had to sit with what is the limiting belief here? What's going on? You know, what are you believing about yourself? Your ability to communicate?
Wendy Pitts Reeves:What's the story I'm telling myself here?
Ryane LeCesne:Sorry that you're telling yourself here because that's what's standing in the way. And so I did. I sat with it, I sat myself around it, I have a coach, so coached around it, really sat with it, and one of the things that comes that I would say consistently comes up, came up for me and I think is one of the ways out of that quicksand is really getting clear on what your value is, really clear around, what your value is. Because what I was finding was I'm having a hard time communicating because not so much I don't know what to communicate about, but you know, like what makes me distinctly different from someone else. How am I different? And these, again, these are questions that aren't necessarily feel good, questions for people who have a tendency to see the world through imposter syndrome and perfectionism.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:Let me ask you I didn't tell you I was going to interrupt you constantly, but I'm going to.
Ryane LeCesne:It's so good, I love it.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:I think I've got to start warning people about that, because I want to highlight certain things and I want to help certain things Right.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:I just want to make sure that I'm following you. So, first of all, the fact that you didn't sit down and go. I've got to learn how to do this. So what do I need to do? What's the post I got to write? What's the email I got to do? What's like it wasn't about strategy. You knew that there's a strategy that you need to employ, but you were running into a roadblock and your first thought is I need to figure this out inside. What's going on inside of me that's making this hard. So that's the first thing. Really, I want to highlight that because I see this a lot with my coaching clients and I see this a lot with my audience.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:There's something in your practice that you want to do and you can't make yourself do it, whether it is reach out to a referral source, whether it's going to a networking event, whether it is submitting your name to speak at an academic conference, whether it's just returning a phone call from a potential client, right. So the first thing is I got to do this, I should do this. This is good for my business. I don't want to do this. Why don't I want to do this? That's the first thing.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:The second thing that I loved about what you just did was you're going into so what is the limiting belief? And then, when you said the part about value, like for a split second there, I was like wait a minute, how are you getting from one to the other? Well, I got it. I think I got it, which is that I can't communicate unless I am clear about what my value is, because that's what I want to communicate. Right, the whole point of sharing your business with the world is saying this is who I am, this is what I can do for you, I can help you, and that means you have to believe that you can do that. Am I following you, right? Is that where you were tripping up?
Ryane LeCesne:100% exactly and I'll actually laser into the experience and I want to say this to your listening audience, because I was six years into business, six years into business at the time that we're talking about. So I was not new into business. Six years into business I had an incredible year the year before, working part time and meeting my goals I mean. So I'm not talking about, I'm new in my business and I want to be real clear with that because we can. Often I know I can do it. I can look at Beyonce and I can say, oh my gosh, she's so amazing. Like, how does anyone ever get to that point in the epic of their career?
Ryane LeCesne:Well, going back to value, I'm not sure how it happened, but Beyonce understood her value and her clarity much earlier than I did in my life. She's ridden it out for a longer period of time and for each of us, we are our own Beyonce's in our lives. We have people who love us. We're famous to people. People will show up at things for us, and so are we clear on our value? Are we clear on who we are? Are we clear on I come into a room and I don't have to worry about I'm an imposter, because I know that when I come into a room, I bring a smile, I bring kindness, I bring a sensitivity. I don't necessarily bring time management, but I'll bring a good time. No, I really know my value.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:I don't have to be perfect.
Ryane LeCesne:I don't have to be perfect Exactly, and so, as you are, we're talking about owning a business, but having a practice. So all the things we do, one of the things is marketing, and when you're doing your marketing and you're taking sales training or something like that, the question that they ask is what is your value? Yeah, what's your value? And I was in the midst of doing this exercise with my coach what's your value? Because she was really pushing me. Again, I've got goals. I want to get to the next level. What's your value, ryan?
Wendy Pitts Reeves:And you're not talking about. What do you charge? You're not talking about oh, yes, no talking about. What do you bring to the table that is unique? What's special about what's special about you? Talk about loaded language. What Me? There's nothing special about me. I'm just here to help people. Don't even look at me.
Ryane LeCesne:Wendy exactly, and I came back almost feeling void and I'm seven years in. I've got videos of clients talking about how I've helped them change their lives.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:I'm doing something good here.
Ryane LeCesne:I'm doing something good. And that was interesting feedback Like oh wow, ryan, you are having a difficult time doing this and this is what I do for people. So sitting with that was really uncomfortable, really uncomfortable, and it required me to do the digging. And in doing the digging it's very uncomfortable. I really sat with many iterations of what does make me special and going through that process was an incredibly confidence-building process Because what I really wound up recognizing is I do add value, like I am distinctly different than any other coach and it doesn't make another coach worse or better, it makes me distinctly different.
Ryane LeCesne:And really, standing in that and standing in, I could confidently say, wendy, if you and I were on a panel together, I could confidently say I know that if you were to coach with Wendy and you were to coach with me, you would have incredible outcomes with both. With me, these are the things that I talk about With Wendy, and Wendy would be able to say these are the things that she talks about. So we talk about different sort of nuances of this and so feeling that even seeing us on a panel, that whole metaphor was just something new that came to me, but that idea that so often we feel like we have to be in conflict with someone. Like how am I different from her in a competitive kind of way, where we have to go to bat talking about a panel just as a metaphor. I have to jockey against this person. No, it's really about, and what I talk about with my clients is what is your brilliance? How are you distinctly different from other people?
Wendy Pitts Reeves:Oh, I want to highlight that.
Ryane LeCesne:What is?
Wendy Pitts Reeves:your brilliance. So I want to just respond to something real quick.
Ryane LeCesne:Yeah.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:While I write down what is your brilliance, because that's beautiful. In my world, it's rare to find somebody who would take on that sort of competitive edge. Like that's not where we tend to go. Where we tend to go is like oh no, that's fine, you're probably better than I am. We play small. It is so hardwired into us to not put ourselves first, which I fight against this constantly. Like it doesn't make you arrogant or stuck up or rude, because you believe that you have brilliance. It means that you have something special to offer the world, just like your friend and colleagues do, and that their clients, who need what you have, are going to find you when you own it. This is what I'm hearing from you that you've got to own your value. It means recognize your brilliance and let it shine and quit apologizing for it. Oh Lord, I could so go off on a soapbox.
Ryane LeCesne:And it's so important, wendy, it's so important to go on that soapbox and thank you for that clarity, because I think one I too am a light dimmer of stuff. Like I have to really be conscious of that, because I do think that you know your audience and myself included, we are helpers, and so there is, and I think, that we also have been socialized as helpers. You know, there's a lot of social construct around what it means to be a helper. You know there's a lot of religious undertone around money. I mean there's so many things we can think about here. And you know we are taught in a Judeo-Christian environment that helpers and healers are supposed to also be pious and you're supposed to, like you know, be poor, and there's like a whole thing here. You know it's like really, really, I call it social work, thinking it's social work, thinking Right, it's okay to make money.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:What was it? I told you the other day I had heard somebody say for some reason, in our society, it's okay to make money when you're not helping people You're selling bicycles, you're selling cars, you're building houses but it is not okay to make money when you're helping people changing lives, changing family trees, uplifting entire communities. Yeah, absolutely.
Ryane LeCesne:And, speaking of that, I had a real watershed moment speaking about this communication thing. This was really weighing on me quite heavily. I was in the car one day and I was really having, just like you know, an emotional moment, thinking about all the things that were on my plate, and I realized in that moment that I was having a hard time. I heard myself be my own best friend, which is what I teach my clients to do, to really be their own best friends. And how, in those hard moments, do you come in and you say is that true? Is it really true that you don't add value? Is it really true that you don't have anything special? And I was in the midst of like this catching myself conversation. I was in the midst of the quicksand, rather than stay there or kind of push it away, I heard this best friend come in and I heard this other willingness conversation and what I realized in that moment was, oh my God, this is what I do for my clients, this is my value.
Ryane LeCesne:I teach my clients how to be in their car and have these really hard moments and how to use these proven steps and tools and mindset, understanding and science and all of the energy management pieces. They use that all together, everything that they've learned from me and they catch themselves in these moments that are really hard, just like you're doing, and they use that work and they save themselves. You are a fisher of women. You teach women to fish for themselves. This is value. And it was just this real coming to home experience of like this is the value. Right here. It was a very big confidence booster of like no, no, no, this is life saving, this is not even Bless your heart about money.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:Yeah, you owned it in that moment, you felt it for yourself and you saw this is what I do for others. Oh God, that's just gorgeous, exactly.
Ryane LeCesne:And so for your listening audience to really step into that they actually do the thing that they do and that that thing matters. It matters, and that that mattering in the material world is money. That's the matter that's exchanged between the help that they provide and the person who needs that help. The mattering is money and to really own that. And it doesn't mean that you have to charge prices that are not within your market or you don't have to do that, but you certainly are owed your value for sure.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:Well, to me, it's an act of respect for your client and yourself when you are comfortable with the exchange of that value, when you're comfortable with exchange of money, Because what you're saying to your client is this work is really important and I love that you are willing to invest in yourself by working with me and I understand that I have an important role here too, and I love that also and so I'll give you my best self and you pay for those services and we're equals in this relationship. I can't think of anything more respectful than that.
Ryane LeCesne:Absolutely, wendy. So good, it is so good.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:I love Ryan, I love the like, just the look on your face as you were sharing that just then was really, really beautiful and special and I just love like it. Those are the moments that can leave you in a puddle on the floor if you're not careful, but it is sometimes. It's overwhelming emotions. Sometimes I feel like you've been struck by a lightning bolt, but it's that. Oh my gosh, this is it. This is it, and I love that. You started with you, that it was your awareness that wait a minute, what are you talking about here? Like I love the best friend, like there's this other voice inside.
Ryane LeCesne:This is your higher self.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:Obviously, this is your higher self that is saying hold, wait a minute daughter, wait a minute sister. Who? What's this stuff? Is that really true? No, you know it's not true. Calling you into a better place, calling you into a higher place, which you then turn around and share with your clients, Lord, that's just really, really awesome.
Ryane LeCesne:Thank you, and I do want to say that the reason why I was able to go to me was only because of the coaching work, only because of the work that I do, and not because of my coach, but because of, like, the work that because of, because of the practice not the business, but the practice, because I've been doing the practice so long, I was able to go. From now I was stuck in hate and hate was very external. I hate this, I hate it. So it went through various layers, right Of like self actualization from the outside of I hate social media, I hate communications. I don't ever want to do this. I don't want to touch it again to just this recognition of like. Okay, you hear yourself, you hear and I do the work. I know like, I know what I say matters and I'm looking at it and it's like the best mirror for me. You know, it's like I couldn't escape it. It's like I know too much to not escape that one, yeah, yeah, once you know, you can't not know.
Ryane LeCesne:You can't not know. So it did go through layers, but it did it, you know it ended up with me, and I have a strong knowing that our lives are based on our beliefs, and so I had to really, really tackle that belief.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:Yeah. What do you think some of the most common limiting beliefs are that get in the way of wellness professionals, healing arts practitioners, therapists, yoga teachers, energy healers? What do you think is the limiting belief? That or some, maybe two or three that are so common, that are getting in the way. And then let's talk about the belief triad. I want to explore that a little bit, yeah absolutely.
Ryane LeCesne:I think at the core of any limiting belief is I'm not enough. I'm not enough to do the thing. You know, I'm not enough to make it happen. And we tend to, as human beings, we tend to, as you talked about with your clients, around communications. You know we talk about the tactic. We talk about, like I can't post on social media, I can't push go, I can't charge people, I can't do and that's what we can observe.
Ryane LeCesne:We can see, we can like see that, and so then we can get advice or we can tell ourselves, like, well, just do it, just make it happen, just override that. And that's very difficult because of the belief, like the belief, we're only going to do what we believe. And so it doesn't matter if the advice is great, or you even have a PhD in social media or in client referrals or whatever, if you believe you're not enough to make that happen, we won't, you won't do it, you won't do it. We do what we feel, we do what we believe, not what we cognitively know. That's the cognitive dissonance. You know, it's like I know I should do this thing, but boy, I don't feel like I'm enough to do it.
Ryane LeCesne:Right, you will self sabotage every time, every time, and it's so subconscious and this is a lot of the work that I do with clients is on this, really speaking to yourself on the subconscious level, because what the experience I was having going back to this watershed moment in the car, I was really emotional and at the moment, because I was so emotional, I really, you know, my conscious thinking was very narrow and everything that was coming up was absolutely subconscious mind. You know, 10 years ago, when this happened, or this always happens, or just this very emotional state, that is absolutely the subconscious, you know, running the show and as it's always running the show, and what I had to do and what was evident in that moment is I had impressed upon my subconscious mind enough of a new belief. No, you are valuable. No, you are, you are enough that we. It's part of the conversation now. Like, you don't disbelieve that anymore. You used to, but you don't anymore Now.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:You believe you had an alternate voice. That was right.
Ryane LeCesne:Yeah, and so we do what we believe. And so at the core it's I'm not enough. And it translates into 100 bazillion things that we've talked about today, like I can't ask for referrals, I couldn't do that. Well, she does it, but she has over there a network that makes it work. I don't have it. So starters of sentences are things like I should, I need to, I can't, they can, but I can't. Anything after. That, essentially, is a limiting belief. And then we've got a really question Well, is that a really good way to catch yourself.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:That's a really good way Like to become an observer of yourself is the first step to changing this. So pay attention to your language, right? That's a really good point, okay.
Ryane LeCesne:Absolutely, and so and that's you know what I would work with clients on really getting familiar with what are they saying, how to become mindful of that conversation, Because what comes out of their mouths is 5% of what they're really feeling and thinking, because all of that is in the subconscious mind and we're just hearing a very teeny, teeny little bit of it. So it is not so much about necessarily like focusing on the thing that somebody wants to accomplish. It is really thinking about what is the story. I'm telling myself as to why I can't have that thing.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:Yes, and that's the story that needs to be changed.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:Okay, hold on, Highlight, let's focus on that. It's not about the goal I want to achieve. It's not about the outcome I want to get to. It's about who I have to be to get there and the story I'm telling myself about who I am. It's the story Y'all listen to this. I need you guys to hear this that the story that you tell yourself about who you are impacts everything in your practice the impact you have on your clients. It impacts the ease with which you get through your day. It impacts your financial bottom line. I guarantee it. Ah, that is so, so, so, so critical. It isn't about the goal. It's not about the tactic. We can talk tactics all day long If you believe that you are.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:I heard somebody say this on a podcast one time if your core belief or your core identity is you're a poor kid from the Bronx, you're always going to be a poor kid from the Bronx, no matter where you go, what happens. If your belief is that you're a poor kid from South Georgia, growing up in cotton mills, you're always going to have that in you. That's where you've got to start. Okay, I love this, Ryan. This is really beautiful. So. So how does that ripple through your life Like where, where does that go? What are the impacts for that? I mean, I've already said a few of them, but I bet you have more. And then, what do you do about it? Take us through.
Ryane LeCesne:Absolutely no, wendy. What you just really spotlighted and held for your audience is this is this is the piece here. Like this is the piece, because when you're talking about honestly any topic but we're talking about business, the stuff isn't really rocket science. I mean, we're talking about kind of basic practices that none of us have really. No one's recreating the wheel.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:Yeah.
Ryane LeCesne:You have your skill and there's people out there that need it, and somehow you communicate, you promote and you exchange dollars and you have a business Like it's not that complicated and you know you have to. In this day and age, you have to have like a social media channel if you want, but you don't have to, like that's not even a need, you don't have to have email. And so even saying something like I have to have email, I have to do social, I have to do, is that true? But then also what's causing you not to necessarily do that thing? You know what's causing you not to share your story.
Ryane LeCesne:However, the essence is, a business is pretty basic, so it's not about do we or do we not know what to do it's or even how to do it it's. Do we feel confident that we can do it, that we're the competent people, and if we don't feel like we're competent, we won't, and then won't becomes what's called procrastination, and because we're high achievers, we look at procrastination and we call that. We look at that thing over there, and then the all we point at the thing and all those fingers that are pointing back at us when we point is you're not a good person because you're procrastinating.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:Yeah, look at you, look how bad you are.
Ryane LeCesne:And if you are a better person then you wouldn't procrastinate. So it becomes like a self worth kind of thing and that erodes at the person's self confidence, which exacerbates the limiting belief and almost even gives evidence of that limiting belief. See, you're not good, you procrastinate and you don't do social media and that makes it even or you hate dollars or you hate whatever it is. It exacerbates the thing that you're looking to get.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:Where attention goes, where attention goes, energy grows right, right. So whatever you focus on gets bigger. So if your focus is on I can't do that, I should do that. I'm not doing that, golly, what a loser I am because I'm not doing that then that's what's going to get bigger. So the first step itself, like, is to recognize that there's a belief at work here more than anything else, and then this just to catch it. And then the second thing is to coach yourself through that. That's right, coach yourself through that.
Ryane LeCesne:Coach yourself through that. So I have eight steps that I really teach clients to embody, and the first three are foundational and it's clarity, and that's really what we're talking about right now Clarity around what do you want and what's the fear.
Ryane LeCesne:So, that's clear. It's like two sides of that coin. And then moving into courage, and this is the coaching part, there's a book called the Courage to Be Disliked. It's Adlerian Psychology, which is basically the idea of we make so many decisions as people. Well, first, as human beings, belonging is primal to who and what we are Belonging is necessary. So we are hardwired for belonging, so we can do things. We tend to do things unconsciously that we believe are going to wed us to belonging. And I think for this group, for your audience, what we believe might wed us to belonging as healers is if we dim our light, if I dim my light, then I'll belong right, then I'll belong, I'll have a space, I'll be more authentic. I don't really care about money anyway, I just like want to help people.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:Yes, right, exactly.
Ryane LeCesne:So much so. And so it is about getting familiar with oh, wow, okay, this is actually a self living belief. And now I have to do something about that. I have to have the courage to be going on the book, courage to be disliked, courage just to be myself. And if someone doesn't like a post, or someone doesn't want to give a referral, or if somebody doesn't like my email or a client didn't have the most incredible outcome, or if the class I taught of yoga wasn't the most amazing, that that's okay, it's okay, right. So what?
Ryane LeCesne:And really being okay with that, having the courage to be ourselves, the courage to reframe, the courage to value your value when you don't, the courage to be your friend when it seems really difficult, because what that does is it leads to step number three, which is confidence. The ability to then take confident action to move forward. Because you have the clarity on both of those pieces. I know what I want, which so often we don't know what we want. I know what I want. I also know what the boogeyman is, so I'm aware of that. And because I'm aware of the boogeyman, I now can move into courage, which is combating the boogeyman and saying really the opposite and then, because I'm in the zone of courage, I can move to that next level of confidence. I can feel like I can move, and so that piece is really helpful.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:So what I'm loving about this? Well, for one, I really like alliteration, so I'll just say that. But I really love yeah, so clarity when you're talking about getting clear about what you want and about what the fear is around what you want. I haven't seen those pairs quite that way before and I think that is brilliant. I think often I see this especially with women. I don't know if the guys do this as much Maybe they do but I certainly hear it among women. I hear this from my women counseling clients much less coaching people that we never allow ourselves to even think about what we want. We don't ask it, we don't know and we scramble. When people ask well, what do you really want? Oh, I don't know. I just want to help people keep going back to that, but we don't. So not only do what do you want? Do you want a six-figure practice? Do you want a seven-figure practice? Do you want a group practice that is making a hell of an impact on your town? And if you do, do you want to work six months out of a year and take six months off? Whatever?
Wendy Pitts Reeves:What's the fear that? Immediately, because you said this at the beginning today, you said we have a calling, we have an inspiration, something happens and we kind of go I really want to do this. Then there's an immediate inhale, an immediate oh, I could possibly do that. I could, right, and I. So I love that.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:We have a big idea, a big dream, a big vision, if we allow ourselves to admit it, and there's going to be a big fear. And the bigger the dream, the bigger the fear. That's one thing I love that you got to get clear about what that is. You know it and you own it and you recognize it. And then from there, because you know, okay, that's what I'm afraid of, got it All right, at least I know it Now I always say that we are more courageous than we know, that you are already courageous, we just don't recognize it. So now that you know that fear is there, step into the courage that you're carrying and act and be willing to be imperfect, be willing to move forward. And something else you said that I really want to highlight, ryan, I don't mean to be talking so much, but you're saying some really good, juicy things that I want to capture the other one is you have to be you said to be willing to be disliked.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:You have to be willing to be a disruptor. When you are doing things well, you're going to have people who adore you and people who won't have anything to do with you, and that's when you know you're on the right track. You will attract and repel. Yeah, and that, Laura, that does that.
Ryane LeCesne:Yeah that's really good it does, it's so true. And you know, I think about one, so many things. One, wendy, when you asked those really beautiful, open-ended questions, as I was like listening to them and thinking about how would I answer them myself, and some of them, you know, oh my gosh, wow, whoa big, and I could feel it was before you had mentioned that ebb and flow of like big idea, the calling, and then the breath, and I could feel it happening, like, yeah, how would I, oh, six months or not, or oh, wow, and what's kind of coming to mind was how that I don't want to call it a void, but that the space that's opened, the space, who? Okay, let me step into this here. It's like the calling creates a space. Yes, right, a vacuum, a vacuum. There it is Vacuum. I wanted to say void, but it wasn't, it was a vacuum, vacuum.
Ryane LeCesne:And I think through socialization, I think through these mindsets that we've been talking about, which comes through socialization, we're taught these things to be perfect. You can't, no one can see that you've made a mistake, you know. And then, if there's any kind of neurodivergence, like if decisions are difficult for you, your nervous system to make it, it's overwhelming for you, like all of that is taking place at any given time, right, and so there's a lot of data that's like taking place in someone's nervous system as these questions are even being contemplated, and that stimuli that's happening in the nervous system. There's a really great.
Ryane LeCesne:Am I going to be able to pull her name, judith? She is deep, deep, deep guru in the chakra study, so energy medicine. But she talks, Judith, it's going to come to me. She talks about a surge. She primes it as a surge. It's like a charge. You know that's a of energy that comes up and that charge is very powerful. You know it's very. It's an inspired charge and that charge can be translated into two ways One is fear and the other is excitement.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:Absolutely. I have always said that it's two sides of the same feeling, just with different meaning attached. Absolutely yeah, absolutely yeah.
Ryane LeCesne:And so I think that stimuli can be so shocking to people and, by the way, that we're hardwired. From what I understand from the studies, about 80% of our thoughts are fear based thoughts. Just to keep us alive. You know, like in primitive times, I want to go out there and see what's happening. Nope, you don't do that. You stay close to close to where we are. You don't branch out, like fear is hardwired in who we are to stay protected, exactly, right, exactly, and that vulnerability piece you know we're talking about at this level.
Ryane LeCesne:And so all these kinds of things happen at the moment of a surge, and so I think what we're talking about here is becoming more masterful about translating that surge, that energy, from the overwhelm. I can't do this. Oh my God, this idea came to me. This is for me. I'm excited there are people who actually like, think that way. You know they're like this idea is the best thing ever, and we've thought that way about other things. I mean, you know, people might have a hard time in their practice, but I'm listening to this great book.
Ryane LeCesne:Crispy Cream Donut came to Colorado and the authors from Colorado, and she was talking about how people stood in line for five hours to get the donut At that moment they were I totally get that, yeah, there was nothing impeding them because there was no false limiting belief of I can't have a donut, but there is a false limiting belief of I'm not enough to charge my prices or I'm not enough to ask for a referral, and so getting more crispy cream with our ideas. Like an idea has come to us, I can send out this marketing idea, or I could charge this price, or I could ask for this referral, I could have that new offering and really allowing yourself to catch your breath and then lean all the way into. I know I can do this. Yes, yes, you know, that's the toggle. I think that we're really trying to teach people to get more comfortable with the I can versus I can't. That's the core of what we're going to be able to do.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:Yeah, and in order for you to make the kind of mark on the world you want to make. You're not going to get there by playing small and you're not going to get there by letting fear drive the bus. So the fear is normal and healthy and natural, like you said. You said 70, 80% of our thoughts are about fear or about staying safe. I hadn't thought about it, but I bet that's true. So, but when you are an entrepreneur or when you are the CEO of a small business, you're already different than everybody else anyway. Like, whenever I speak to audiences, I always say you know, you're all a little crazy, right? Like you have to be a little crazy to do this, and most of us are seen as kind of the crazy ones in our family because we do this like ridiculous stuff. Like go off and start a business, like whoever thought that was a good idea, and yet we do it because we have a really big calling, a big idea, a big dream.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:We want to serve people the way we want to do it. Most of our people have worked or my people have worked in hospitals and agencies and have seen, have done good things, have seen important work, but want to do it their own way, have their own idea about how they want to make a difference for people, or have a unique skill set they want to develop or really, really, really want to work with six year olds, you know whatever, but they have. You were talking about that. Energy Makes me think. A shock to energy a little bit, but it is the lightning bolt and I have had those moments myself, moments of inspiration that hit you so hard that I get chills and I usually tear up a little bit. And it's like this, this body level of knowing of oh my gosh, this, and that you know what. That happened.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:When I first got clear about what I wanted to do with the practice at all, I suddenly began to it wasn't about the practice at all. I wanted to empower women to run businesses, and this was 25 years ago when I knew nothing about any of this right. But that kind of moment has happened dozens of times throughout my life, when a lightning bolt hits and it's like, oh my gosh, I have to do this. I think that is your soul's recognition of your purpose and I think you have to listen to it.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:But what you're saying is, if you don't do the work of recognizing that there is a belief system at play here, and if you don't do whatever you have to do and you've got all kinds of tools to help people with this if you don't get past that and learn how to catch that and flip it and move through, use your courage to show up in the way your business needs you to show up, you're not going to help people the way you want to, and I would say you're also not going to make the kind of money you want to make, and I personally would like to see you do both. So, yeah, I love it. So people can't see this, but you were like yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, I love it 100%.
Ryane LeCesne:Yes, yes, yes, and a really clear. Two clear visuals came up as you were talking, wendy. One is this idea that life force is always flowing to us, always. So there's like idea of a hose at the tap and it's turned all the way on. Life force is just flowing. There's ideas, there's energy, there's substance that's always flowing to us inspiration, and like a hose we've got long journeys, long lives. There's kinks in those hoses. I mean it can be like a real knot, and we also know that it doesn't have to take like a very odd, like hoses aren't usually in knots, like how you would tie it a shoe Right.
Ryane LeCesne:It's like a kink, it's like a folded thing. You can almost not even see it sometimes, and so those kinks don't mean that the faucet's not on. It means that there's a kink there and there's actually a lot of pressure in the back to get that water flowing. And that can be the feeling of like the pressure that your audience feels to quote, unquote, get it right or to do the things. And then there's the limiting belief, the kink that won't let it flow and it is mounting and that energy is building and the confidence is being questioned and the urgency is happening and the bills are piling up and I mean, and so that energy is happening, it's happening. It's happening behind that kink and it's like how to you know acknowledge that the flow is there and how to straighten out those kinks. Let it go, yeah, let it flow.
Ryane LeCesne:Yeah, let it go because it's there. It's there, I know, for everyone.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:That's a really beautiful metaphor for explaining the pressure people might feel internally. And the more you want something and the more you feel like you're not doing it right, the more you beat yourself up, the more that pressure grows. I love that. So, ryan, this is beautiful and wide ranging conversation and I hope that those who listen take away from this that there's nothing wrong with you If you have some of these feelings. It just means that you're alive and that you're human, and I think it means that you're being called to grow.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:I really think, like you know, if you're feeling all stirred up and a little, a little, that just means the universe is shaking you up a little bit and saying come on, let that like get the calipers go, because there's big stuff that is coming through you, through you, and we need to open up. We need to open things up and let that flow. I know you have lots of tools and lots of ways for helping people with that. Would you like to share? Like, how do people find you? What do you do? How could somebody work with you?
Ryane LeCesne:Yeah, absolutely, yeah, thank you. So I absolutely I can be found. My company is called Inspire Brand Consulting. That's also our website, Inspire Brand Consulting, and I offer two, you know three points of contact. If someone's feeling like I really want to connect with Ryan and like hear more about what's happening and talk, I offer a complimentary discovery call. You can find that on my website, inspirebrandconsultingcom. Book a call or even backslash gift, we'll get you to that direct link. And then I also have a quiz that is almost like a 17 magazine quiz or people magazine quiz. Gives you, just based on your answers, a little sound bite of those three mindsets imposter syndrome, perfectionism and distractionism and, based on your answers, just what that feedback feedback might be and some insight around those three mindsets. And so those are two ways you know that people can get in touch with me and then for social media through Inspire Brand Consulting as well.
Ryane LeCesne:Okay, Offer tidbits on Instagram and LinkedIn and things like that. Oh, all that communication stuff. All that communication stuff. Yes, I have reestablished my value and we are in flow, thank goodness. That's funny, that can get released.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:I love that. Yeah, and I'm like that with money. That's really funny. I love that.
Ryane LeCesne:Let it rain. We will drop that.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:We'll put that in the show notes down below for sure, and those of you who hear this, if Ryan has touched your heart at all, please reach out to her and let her know that when you do this kind of work, where you're speaking into the void y'all, we can't see your faces. It's really lovely when you reach out and go. That was awesome. Whether it is sending her an email, sending her a DM, finding her on social media, whatever. Let her know that she has lifted your life in some way today. That would be really helpful. Thank you, and I guess this is a good spot to stop, because now I'm thinking I want to talk about clarity, courage and confidence, and which will close that personal confidence gap that we started with today. And when you close that gap by going, your practice is going to rock and you're going to make a difference in the world because you are owning your brilliance and letting it shine.
Ryane LeCesne:What a perfect place to stay, yeah.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:So one last thing I always like to ask folks is there anything we haven't covered, anything I haven't asked you? Is there anything that you feel called to share? That would like one more thing that would make this conversation complete.
Ryane LeCesne:Well, I think, did you want to talk about the vision and the thought and the triad?
Wendy Pitts Reeves:Yeah, we didn't get there, but yeah, you could do that real quick. We never did get there. I can just drop that in real quick.
Ryane LeCesne:So, when we talk about these beliefs and we're talking about fear, and we're talking about, to put it simply, like tapping into, becoming familiar with fear, right, what is the fear? There are three main ways to kind of also get familiar, or like tap into, or kind of like triangulate, because there's three triangulate your fear. Let's think about that way. So, first is your thoughts Become familiar with your thoughts. What are you saying to yourself about said you know goal, the thoughts of corresponding feelings. So what are the emotions, right? Is it guilt, is it shame? Is it fear? Is it apathy, doubt, what's happening right? And the third is the vision. What catastrophic visions come up for you. And that's basically your triad of fear.
Ryane LeCesne:You know, and so working with those three pieces are really, really, really critical to shifting the belief. So you think new thoughts. So, for instance, literally going from I cannot to I can, or to it's possible, or to I'm willing, right To more open. And then, with that thought it is, what is the corresponding feeling that I'm looking to have? It might even be simply be neutrality. You don't have to hate to love, it can be neutral, it can be willingness, and that's the feeling that you are focused on practicing. And then there's the vision. What is the vision of you succeeding in that? You know, within that goal, and it's about practicing that vision. That new triad is going to help someone in the practice of shifting that belief.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:Yeah, yeah, and so that's something very conscious you can do. So catch the belief I don't think I can really do this. Flip it, yes, I can do this. Notice what's the feeling. How's the feeling? Shift so I can't, turns into I feel bad, I feel scared, I feel doubtful, I feel like an idiot, I feel all those things Shift that to I can, and the feeling goes with it and consciously like, tap into, move into that feeling of well.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:So what if I could do that? What would that feel like? Well, it would feel awesome and amazing and expansive and fun and kind of surprising, but in a really cool way, right. And then what's the vision? I love that. That's what you bring to this. It's new to me that when you have because I'm used to hearing about feelings, thoughts, feelings and behaviors you're saying thoughts, feelings and vision that when you have a thought, you have a feeling that goes with it. You instantly have a vision, which usually is something we're catastrophizing. But when you flip it, the thought is, yeah, I can, the feeling is that would be awesome. And the vision is what does it look like when somebody pays you $5,000 for a three month contract to do powerful work with you? Boom.
Ryane LeCesne:Yeah, that feels good. Yeah. And then meditation and your practice are, even when you notice, like the catastrophic vision, but you're not tapped into the thought. You're like oh there I am, I must have been thinking, which means I'm probably also feeling, and so now I've got to like shift, you know, so you can catch yourself at multiple points.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:Yeah, so it's really is tuning in and becoming aware of what's going on in your thoughts so that you consciously shift this, which means you have more power. Yeah, I love that.
Ryane LeCesne:Thank you. I'm so glad you brought us back to that, because that would have, oh good.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:Yeah, later on, I don't want to have been. Oh shoot, we never did get there. So this is what happens when I just go where we go. Right, oh, it's fantastic.
Ryane LeCesne:It's fantastic. I think that that was the one little piece that I wanted to just bring in was that piece and that's it. I think this has been such an incredibly juicy fun, engaging, deep conversation. Yeah, that's how I like it. That's how I like it. This is fun.
Wendy Pitts Reeves:Thank you so much for being here today. You have been a delight, so much fun and I know that people are going to get a ton out of this when they hear it and thank you for being willing to sort of follow me in all this messy stuff. It's great, so fun, and y'all have an awesome week, everyone who's listening to this. I hope you enjoy this, and even half as much as I have, because it really is juicy and delightful and this kind of stuff can totally turn things around for you in your practice. So do it all right and do it, enjoy it, celebrate it, own it, shine it. Have a great week, everybody, and I will see you next time right here on Ideal Practice.
