Hello Hope Unlocked listeners . Did you know I offer coaching ? New Wings Coaching empowers women to rise up with new wings in their calling , communication and connections through coaching courses and community . To hear more , please email me at christankirtskurtz at newnewwingswingscoachingnet and mention Hope Unlocked to hear more about the discounted rate . Just for my Hope Unlocked listeners , I also have a Facebook group called Women of Wonder Warriors Arise . Just check out the show notes for the link to access the group , and you can also access the show notes for my email address as well . Enjoy today's show .
Speaker 1Welcome to the Hope Unlocked podcast . I'm Kristen Kurtz , your host . I pray this episode is like a holy idea of hope for your soul . Please help me welcome my sweet friend , stephanie Lasota , to the show . We actually have met online not in person yet , but we were connected through a ministry that we were both part of and just have had a really sweet time getting to know each other through Facebook . So all of y'all who say social media is a bad thing , I want to remind you that there are really good things that can come from making connections online on Facebook . Wherever you're meeting people online , there can be some really great , great connections , and she just happens to be one . So would you be open to just starting by sharing a little bit more about yourself ?
Speaker 2Hi Kristen . Thank you so much . What a beautiful opening . I totally agree with that . Social media is a tool we use . It's not a tool that uses us if we're being mindful of it . So I am just honored to be here and to meet you and , as I've told you before , your ministry has touched my heart in many ways and I love to see the goodness that it's bringing and how you're shining a light for Christ and unlocking women's voices . A little bit more about me is what you asked .
Speaker 1Whatever you're led to share .
Speaker 2I told you in our little chit chat before recording , I'm not as comfortable talking about myself , so this is the first time I've ever done something like this , been on a podcast , or I'm usually when I'm doing my ministry and fellowship and things . It's face to face , it's in the church , it's in person . So this sitting and talking to you and having an unseen audience is very , very , very new . But I'm excited and I have a background in communication . I went to college for journalism and communications and Spanish also , and from a small town , hamburg , pennsylvania . Right now , though , I live in New England and Stonington , connecticut .
Speaker 2I married to my husband , nick . We've been married , we'll be , we'll be just celebrated 12 years in October Congratulations , thank you . And we have two children , six and six years old yesterday , and then we had our three year old turn three on December 29th , and they keep me very busy . So I am a stay at home mom . My son is in kindergarten , he's enrolled in a school , and I'm home with my daughter every day , and then I am also working .
Speaker 2I have a couple of part time jobs that I do a home care job , like non medical home care right now , and I have I take meeting minutes for a local municipality where I get to just show up and sit down and and write down what everyone's doing and working on in the town for several different boards and it's . It's been such a blessing of a job for me and flexible , with my life as a mom and supporting my husband and his full time career , which is what brought us to New England . But , like you said in the intro , I know you through revelation , wellness and that community so that I had gotten involved in in 2015 . I probably saw some of the ministry things before before . That little bit before it was in 2015 is when I got my certification through platoon 13 . So that has been an extreme blessing and then I started implementing classes through a local church in 2017 that I'm still a part of .
Speaker 1Love that . So it's been almost seven years or so , huh Since starting classes .
Speaker 2Yeah , I started , I got , I got certified in 2015 and I sort of sat with it for a while and I didn't really get off the ground with them , just was praying about what to do and you know , life was happening . And and then the church that I was attending , you know , I I just scheduled . I actually didn't start teaching until I became pregnant with my son , so I started teaching my classes through my pregnancy and it ended up being a great way for me to stay focused on my health and wellness to throughout that journey .
Speaker 1So can I ask you you know , prior to being introduced to revelation , wellness . Were you like begin to health and wellness ? Were you into fitness ? Were you into that whole realm prior to being introduced to it ?
Speaker 2I have always been extremely drawn to emotional and mental health . I would say that the physical my bend would be I think Alisa Keaton , the founder of revelation wellness , had put this in a way , I think , what she called body privilege . Because I have always been a healthy person , I've always been a thin person and I think that my bend was to neglect the physical . Now , I didn't . I wasn't really an athlete growing up . I was more like the cerebral , like thinking type , but I didn't really have to worry about fitness until , like I was getting older and I was starting to think about it more , like on a physical plane , but like the mental and emotional components of wellness have always really been important to me .
Speaker 2A lot of it was because of my upbringing and I my mother , who just passed away on October 3rd growing up , my mom , who was just a pillar of faith and love to our family , had a lot of difficulties with her mental health and some physical health and some things going on .
Speaker 2And as I was the third of four kids and so sort of in the middle and I just I saw a lot how those those health issues could have an effect not only on my mom but on the whole family and our whole dynamic .
Speaker 2And so it's always been something I'm very sensitive to and taking care of my own mental and emotional health and making sure that , you know , I'm doing the things that I need to do so that I can better care for my family , or that I can better do the jobs and the things that I'm called to be doing , in whatever season . So that , actually , when I stumbled upon a video on Facebook of Elisa Keaton doing a chair routine , and when I saw her , I was like , oh , this lady , she looks fun , she's like doing a workout for Jesus , a chair and I'm like my mom would really benefit from this , you know . And so I just continued to stay plugged into the ministry and like pursue it . So when I pursued the ministry , my first thought was like this was like it was inspired because of my mom , basically but you know I'm going to take a sip of tea because my throat's already getting dry .
Speaker 1It's important to be hydrated .
Speaker 2Yeah , I'm going to have to grab my water too . I should have had my giant water with me . Oh good , yeah . So I find and I think this is a common thing when we set out with a goal or a mission to help others or do for others , A lot of times we end up being the ones that are blessed in the process , and so that's what Revelation Wellness has really done for me . It's just been such a blessing to be a part of and meeting so many women and men that are really on fire for Jesus and want to live in embodied faith and make a difference where they are and not just talk about it but be about it , and that was what really resonated with me about the ministry .
Speaker 1So you also back in 20 , because you went through in 2015, . You said , right , yes , that's when I think you were able to go to Arizona still as well . Right For the mountain experience .
Speaker 2I was , I was . So , yeah , that was such a blessing . That was a really awesome experience and for me it lined up really perfectly because my older brother lived in Tucson at the time and so at the same time that my retreat , right after my retreat in Williams Arizona where I was a part of Platoon 13 . So we were on the mountain and we joked that we went through all four seasons . When we got off the bus it was like hot , then it got chilly , and then we had a snow on the mountain and then , as we were leaving , everything was thawing out . So we had summer , summer , fall , winter and spring , and then I was able to go visit my brother and his wife and hold my new nephew for the first time . So that was , yeah , it was . My nephew turned eight in October . So yeah , yeah amazing yeah .
Speaker 1So , it's to look back on and you know , I feel like just the way that he set it up for you . It sounds like you saw an ad again on Facebook , right , or a video that kind of popped out and caught your attention and here you are . Yeah , here I am , amazing , love it . Well , tell us a little bit more about , like , what are your classes that you do ? Cause some people maybe don't really , maybe they don't know what revelation on this is and what you could take from it . I trained up . I was platoon 21 . I'm not currently teaching classes right now , but a lot of what I have , you know , a lot of what I learned . I feel like I will integrate at some point again . What does that look like for you in this current season ?
Speaker 2Yes , my classes . Right now I'm partnering with a church in Westerly , rhode Island . It's called the Church at Westerly and it's a Southern Baptist church and I teach on Monday nights there . I took the month of December off . I sort of , you know , planned my classes around . You know my seasons of life and what's going on and how , what I feel you know the church might need or what I might need . So I'm very mindful of my bandwidth with work and family life . But Monday nights have seemed to be a great time and we start at six o'clock and we get some visitors . We get some ladies from the fellowship I'm a part of that have been cheering me on for a few years and attending with me and seeing getting some health benefits , but we do .
Speaker 2It's like the least intimidating class you could probably go to because , like I said earlier , I'm not .
I feel very well equipped from Revelation Wellness . I think they have done they do a great job teaching and training fitness instructors and we have like a whole resources available to us and you know we have that certification . I personally have some deeper goals this year of learning more about anatomy and exercise science and growing in those things , and so I feel like I'm always learning and so I approach it . I'm not . I do have my certification and I am .
Speaker 2I act in a professional manner , but I'm not an expert at everything . And so if you would come to class , you know I have people sign , give me some background information and sign a waiver of participation for participation and we do some cardio , we do some weight training , some resistance training , we do stretching and we pray . We pray for one another and we fellowship . On the last Monday of the month I have been doing a dinner for everyone that comes and we just hang out after and eat and talk about the month and just do life . Together is what it is and it's been . It's been definitely a blessing for me and I recently finished up taking a review . Kids , I'm sorry , my daughter stumbled in , so I'm hoping you don't pick up any background noise .
Speaker 1We're real and raw here , girl Okay .
Speaker 2I finished an additional certification in class for implementing classes for children , which has been a tug I've had on my heart for a while and I'm not really sure what God will do with that yet . I'm praying about it and , as I said , try not try to be mindful , not to take on too much too soon , because I have a lot of balls in the air . But I'm looking forward to what I might do with that In the future . But yeah , my classes start back up on Monday , the eighth , at the church at Westerly , six o'clock .
Speaker 1Well , in the show notes we'll have your contact info . If there's anybody in that area , I'm sure Stephanie would love to meet you and get you moving , like she said , in a very non-pushy way , right ? Yes , you know , I feel like some fitness classes can be very pushy , where you're like , okay , you gotta go , and it's like no , no , no , it's very . Yeah , it's not Like you are very calm and peaceful . I can't imagine you ever being like a mean boot camp person .
Speaker 2No , I like to give you know there's a lot of grace . And then , you know , we get to know one another over time and when you know people , when you have a rapport with people and a fellowship , then you can sometimes know better how can we challenge each other . You know , how can we say you know what . You can move up and wait or you can do this thing that you think you can't do right now . But I'm telling you , I've been watching you for a few weeks and you can do this if you try it , and sometimes you just need that person , you know , telling you or reassuring you that you can take the next step .
Speaker 1I get that girl . So , speaking of that , what is maybe something that the Lord's challenging you to do ? And take a big next step , maybe a risky step ? Is there anything that is coming to mind you at this time ?
Speaker 2I feel that being on this podcast is a risky step .
Speaker 1So you're already doing it , I'm doing it , I love it . So you know that's amazing , so I love it . I love that you stepped into this . I know , and I shared with you part of recording , that you know , one of my deepest desires I guess you could say that he has for me , both on my heart and his heart is to unlock women's voices , because I feel like a lot of us have .
Speaker 1You know , even for myself . And as I'm speaking , I'm looking outside and there's like a blue jay , just like right here watching me . I love birds . That's why New Wings Coaching is . I think that's why he gave me the name , like seven years ago , but anyways , listen , you're talking to the right lady .
Speaker 2If you're going to start talking about birds , I will tell you all the bird things .
Speaker 1It's just sitting right here like looking in the window .
Speaker 2My husband is a big bird watcher . I think I mentioned that to you before . I think we talked about that a little bit . Yeah , I told you he's a wildlife biologist and I have to joke I joke all the time that like the Lord knew it would take a wildlife biologist to domesticate me because , like , marriage was never in my , never in my windshield , Like when I was journeying on . I didn't think I would settle down and have a family or a husband or do any of these things . And he is a very special man and he's a bird lover and my mother was a huge bird watcher and her and Nick bonded over the birds a lot .
Speaker 1Well , as you were just talking , a second one came . I haven't seen two together . I don't even know if I've ever seen two of them . One of them came by and knocked the other one off the branch that was just using to look in the window at me .
Speaker 2And then the blue jays are aggressive .
Speaker 1I'm like , oh , wow , hello . Anyways , thank you listeners for our little commercial break about birds . But yeah , so you've taken this big step today to unlock your voice , and a lot of times I believe that when we take that step , that it looks really challenging , it looks risky and you gave your guess right .
Speaker 1But I don't ever force people like you in your classes . It's like you're not forcing somebody to do something , but you're offering an opportunity right To do something new or to push yourself or to challenge your muscles . Yeah , this is using your voice muscles . Yes , right , absolutely . In a way that's free . It's a free space you get to share whatever you wanna share . I might ask you some questions .
Speaker 2And some good prompts are good . I'm looking at the notes I took earlier as well because , like I said , I was spending time in prayer and in study this morning and talking to God and asking what you might want me to say and some of the things that have been on my spirit for a while now , for not just my life and my family , but just the church in general .
Speaker 1And .
Speaker 2I'm in New England , so I'm in the United States , so I think a lot about our country and our culture and what people might need to hear right now .
Speaker 1Yeah , Beautiful , I'm pretty sure . Yeah , I'm into it . You're welcome to the blue jays back . The blue jays back . Yeah , yeah . What is on his heart for you to share today ?
Speaker 2What is on his heart ? Well , say this that the Lord is so good , he is so rich in mercy and grace and he is always there , whether we see him or not . So that's the first thing . I believe that there's been so much shifting and shaking in our country and in our world and that there is an awakening that is happening . I believe that there's another revival that's happening for the church and a lot of people are searching and seeking and they want something solid to hold on to . So I guess what I really want to encourage people is to you know if you have not , you know , given your heart to Jesus that today would be the day that you would do it and to find a Bible . Or if you have a Bible up on the shelf , open it up or go to that church service .
Speaker 2Call that grandmother that's been talking to you about it , you know , or whoever , but there's certainly a lot going on in our world and I was talking to you know just in the last year . I can see how God has been answering a lot of prayers . In my life . I've been praying really specifically for him to lead me to godly friendships and bring me people that you know I can grow with and he has done that like overflowing . And so I had a woman over yesterday who homeschools her daughter and she was able to help me out and watch my toddler so that I could go visit my son's school . So that was a blessing that her and I were , you know , talking about a lot of things and just having some great fellowship .
Speaker 2And I just think that , and like how you mentioned in the beginning , I don't think we were recording this part , but I know a big part of your ministry is to uncage voices , the church . This is such a great time for the church because it's a time to grow . It's a time to grow deeper in Christ and to just sorry my toddler's kicking my back as I'm talking to you . I'm multitasking . I love it . It's , you know , a time where there's a lot of healing happening , a lot of opportunity for growth and a lot of I just feel like the Lord's grace is pouring out in a way for people to take hold of . So I apologize I don't mean for the delays , but I'm getting a bit distracted by the kick .
Speaker 1Here . Put your legs over here sweetie .
Speaker 1You know , and this is where all the grace right is . Like I said , real life . I like I said too , and now there's like all these cardinals flying by Wow , it was like Pauliana over here , I think that was . You know , one of the things that I actually wanted to ask you Was , like , how did you come to know the Lord ? Because you know somebody might be listening to this . That is like I don't really know what you're talking about .
Speaker 1Right , maybe you know there's a lot of people talking about church , church lately . There's a lot of you know people that are just , you know , there's just a lot of lies to sift through as well . So , like , where , what did your journey look like , first of all , and then , second of all , like how would you maybe go a little deeper on ? You know somebody who's just like I don't know what you're talking about , stephanie , like I don't even know what a Bible is . You know , I'm going really surface level here , of course , but you know , I was saved when I was 25 from addiction and I didn't grow up in church . So had I heard you speaking , I might be like I don't even really know what you're talking about .
Speaker 1So not that I understand what you're talking about , but you know what I'm saying . Like , or that one who's like I don't even know where to begin .
Speaker 2Yeah , absolutely .
Well , the gospel in a nutshell , right , is that a mankind is has fallen short of the glory of God all right and that we needed someone to come and save us from our sins and redeem us so that we could have a way through and a way out , not only for eternal salvation after we pass , but as a way to have life and have it abundant now as we live . So that's the gospel , if you would . If you're not familiar with the gospel , so speaking to those that are listening , in the book of Romans there's a . The Romans road would be to know that all have fallen short of the glory of God , that there's no one that's righteous , there's not one person that's righteous and perfect . We all need salvation in Christ , so it's a matter of do we want to accept that we have that need or do we reject it ?
Speaker 2And speaking of my background , so I am from a small town in Pennsylvania , I live in a small town now in Connecticut and I was born again in a small town in Costa Rica . So all three of those three different towns , but all small towns . Okay , because I also like to say the whole world is a small town , right , it feels like it sometimes , doesn't it Absolutely ? But so growing up , I really had a wonderful childhood . I had a loving family , close knit family , parents that loved us . I did not have trauma . My parents were believers in Jesus . They were Christians .
Speaker 2I had a lot of strong Christians in my family . I wasn't as close with my father's side but had some relations with his side of the family , but I had my grandparents . My maternal grandparents were extremely strong influences on my life and my mom's brothers , who still are , and so those roots definitely run deep . So when I was I was actually so my parents church hopped a lot growing up . So we did go to church and I was exposed to the word of God and fellowship and going to different places . And because , as I told you , I'm very much a learner , I love learning , I'm a really cerebral person and I've always been drawn to the spiritual , so I really took to church life and there was a time I remember when my family didn't have a church they weren't going for a while and I would take myself up the road to . I lived on a road called St Michael's Church Road in my town and St Michael's Church was up the road and I would go there and attend with my neighbor and my friend .
Speaker 1Child .
Speaker 2Yeah , yeah , I don't remember who I was . Maybe it was like fifth or sixth grade , fourth , fifth , sixth , I'm not sure exactly how old I was . I know I was there for a time and I was like in the bell choir and in plays and getting involved in that way , and still have some connections in that church today that are really special to me . So I definitely loved the church and I had that love for the church as a child when I was baptized . I think I was around 11 when I was baptized . It was at a different church and I'm getting distracted by my daughter , sorry . I was like a group . There was a whole group of us getting baptized and I'm only going to speak from my piece of . I'm not going to talk about the other people that were there or involved , but I just remember coming up out of the water and being like what is the big deal ? Like nothing changed . I don't understand why everyone's all excited , what is happening ? So for me I was sort of looking at it in a very sort of clinical way , objective way . I didn't feel different that day but , like I said , there was always like a love and a hunger there and I think that I did have like a dedication to the Lord , but it wasn't fully like alive in me , if that makes sense . So when I was 16 years old , I was still involved in the church and stuff , but I had gotten into sort of going against my gut instincts and I would call it . This was definitely like crossroads in my life , because I knew what the right thing to do was , but I decided not to do it anyway because I was looking at everyone around me , which is pretty typical for a teenager . I was like , well , they're doing it and this person's doing that . So I was in , I began a relationship with a man . Well , he was quite a few years older than me I was 16 and it was a relationship that I really should not have been in or should not have pursued .
Speaker 2And I remember like specifically and this is something I don't know if I've talked a lot , I've probably told people about this here and there as it's come up , as I've been like ministering or fellowshiping with people but I had gone on a retreat when I was 16 years old and this was it was a youth retreat and there was a night where , you know , they had all the lights dimmed down low and there was a cross at the front of the church and there was worship music and we were all having to , you know , have this kind of come to Jesus moment and write down on our slips of paper things we wanted to give to God . And I had had a conversation with my pastor at the time about , you know , the relationship that I was in and what I wanted and what I saw . You know and excuse me , as a teenager , thinking that like I had the answers and I knew , like , what the future could hold , and I thought , like my situation is the exception to the rule , you know , and basically it was , the gospel had been presented to me and I didn't , I didn't want it , I didn't want to lay my life down and I didn't want to , I didn't want to give up what I wanted . So I remember that night taking my slip of paper that I was supposed to write things down on and nailed to a cross , and I took it and I flushed it down the toilet that night . Yeah , and you know , I was in that relationship for about four years and throughout that relationship so I would would have been finishing up high school and then entering into college .
Speaker 2He was a very kind , kind person with a wonderful family . There were some issues there . There were issues with drugs and alcohol and things that I by the grace of God I never got involved . I did a lot like social drinking and stuff but I didn't get involved with like drugs and and , but I always had a lot of like intellectual and professional pursuits that I wanted . So I do believe that education was a big thing that pulled me out of a lot of things and saved me from a lot . That and , of course , the hand of God that I knew was always looking back . I know his hand was on me the whole time .
Speaker 1And so was your boyfriend at the time doing drugs , yeah , and yet you didn't like . Did he try to pressure you at all ?
Speaker 2No , no , he actually , like I said , he was quite a bit older and he was a very despite his , his issues and his struggles that he had , he seemed to retain some level of boundary and respect for me .
Speaker 2I think a lot of it had to do with my family and the people that were in my life and some of the other people that were around us , but it was still a situation that , looking back on this is one thing that it definitely , it definitely turned no , it turned me away from the church for a long time , but when I look back at it , it's I can't believe the church or blame people for for things that , like , I chose to do and paths that I chose to take .
Speaker 2At the same time , I think about what the impact might have been if someone were able to discern my wandering or discern my situation and speak some sense to me , but at the same time , I had every opportunity I was , I had people all around me and I was choosing not to see it . So this is where , like when we are sharing the gospel with people and sharing the word it , it's like there are times you just cannot say the right thing to a person and you'll never say the wrong thing to the right person , because when a person's heart is ready , they are going to receive it , and my heart was just not in a place to receive it because I was . I was wanting to do my own thing , basically .
Speaker 1And so looking back at all , because you can you think of even all these years later , can you , and you don't have to share what they said or who it was , but can you recall something ? You know maybe even one situation where somebody said something that that could have been really pivotal , but you chose not to listen . You know what I'm saying . Like they were really trying somebody was really trying to intervene , almost .
Speaker 2Oh sure , I mean , there were some people in high school I mean not necessarily from a spiritual aspect , though people weren't trying to like intervene for my soul , but they were trying to tell me things . Like you know , this might not be the best situation for you because you know this A , b and C was happening the other weekend and I'm like , oh no , that wasn't happening , you know , but I I , you know , was pursuing other things and I was in college and I ended that relationship but it left me in a place where I felt that I really didn't have , because I was such a spiritual person and , you know , desiring that like close relationship with God and I . It basically had pushed me in into a sort of seeker , searcher mode and I was getting very involved in like a lot of new age stuff . So I got an even toward , I would say , the end of high school too , when I was still involved in the relationship .
Speaker 2So I was high school and college very involved in like astrology . I mean I read every book that there could be . I could like meet somebody and tell them like no , immediately , like what their sign was , and and say all sorts of things . Like you know and I would know , astrology is a very it's a very manipulative practice . I will say that it causes people to think you know anything that tells you this is how you are and this is how other people are and this is how they'll react if you do this and this is how what they like and what they don't like . It's a very manipulative practice . So when I was born again , I threw away all my astrology books and all of that stuff , but definitely I'm trying to gather my thoughts Sorry , kristin , there's so much that that comes up and it was like we could talk for hours . I know we could talk for hours , but after so I was still in college and pursuing like intellectual pursuits , but very much like turn away from God and doing my own thing .
Speaker 2I mean I was extremely promiscuous and like
I was still functioning on a great level . You know I didn't have , I was a productive individual . I was just basically living for pleasure , I would put it . You know , I didn't really . I really wasn't like I said . You know , I've been married to my husband now for 12 years but at the time like I didn't foresee like building something with someone ever , because I just thought that was out of the question for me and basically for me , like men , were just a means to an end or a way for myself to gain pleasure and then just move on to the next . And that's whenever I tell people that it really surprises them knowing , knowing me now . But and it's a it surprises me too because , honestly , I sometimes , when I think about my past and like that's not me , you know , it's a totally different person , totally different person . But so I got to wrap it up .
Speaker 2But I will tell you I , after I graduated college , I got a job . Writing for a local newspaper is a job I really loved , met a lot of great people . I was doing that for about a year and I got a bit antsy and a bit , like you know , I needed to travel before I , you know , got married or did anything like permanent . At the time I was dating my husband and I decided to go to Costa Rica for a year . There was a program that sent English teachers to different countries , so my family and friends helped me raise money to do that and go pursue this , and it was . I was really excited because , like I said , I always had a love for Spanish language . I studied it in college too and I went for the purpose to grow , and I didn't really talk about this a lot at the time , but a lot of it for me too was just sort of trying to find meaning in my life and something deeper , because I felt pretty disconnected from purpose and from yeah .
Speaker 2So Costa Rica was an awesome experience for me and I was able to . I lived with an amazing family down there that I still keep in touch with and a very godly family , the most humble people I've ever met . I felt very humbled being there and , but even then I made it through most of the year and , like I said , my husband and I were just . We were dating at the time . We weren't engaged yet and neither of us were in a relationship with Christ Like not a you know , I didn't . I wasn't born again at the time and I basically tried to self-sabotage the relationship again and I got into a relationship with someone down in Costa Rica and so when we got , when I got back , I had told him about it and everything . My husband God bless him he never stopped pursuing me , ever , never stopped pursuing me and so , but I still wasn't sure . You know about things . No , I feel like this is going so long . Kristen , you can interrupt at any time if you need some clarification .
Speaker 1Can you focus ? I think you're doing a great job extracting this testimony . What was it about him that you because it sounds like you're similar to me , very yeah , just not non-committal for a long time . What was it about him ? Because I feel like it's the heart of God to pursue us , even though we're going to push him away and people away . But there's something about him that . What was it that ? Obviously , you've been married for 12 years . Now you have children .
Speaker 2So my husband him and I were friends for a long time before we even started dating . He was a year ahead of me in high school , so he knew me in high school , we knew each other and he saw me go through a lot of the things that I went through , and vice versa . So I think that there was just this level of comfort and friendship I had with him that I had never had with anyone else before , and he also is a very driven person and very dedicated to his field of study and his work , and he's always been the type of person to call out the good in me and so , yeah , but like I said , I was very much in self-sabotage mode . There's a lot there because , like I said , I'm from a small town and I just couldn't see a way through , I guess , of being together and then building a life together , because I didn't have the faith for it . I didn't have the belief for it and I just didn't know any better . So , but when I got back from that year of teaching in Costa Rica and Nick was waiting for me actually my younger brother had let him in my parents' house and he set up my bedroom with balloons and welcome back stuff and I'm like , oh my gosh , and we had to have some serious conversations .
Speaker 2But all of this I was still grappling . A lot of it was I was grappling with my own identity and ,
as you know , in my faith . So a lot of it was like I just I loved Nick and I cared for him so much , but I wanted to be fully healed and I wanted to figure things out Like I always wanted to figure things out and so . But Nick and I did end up staying together and , you know , shortly after I did end up moving in with him to where he started , going to grad school , and I ended up moving in with him , and that I was still like questioning a lot . I was still I've still lost in a lot of sin . I was still , like you know , there was pornography , not that I was , I was viewing it , not participating in it , but there was just a lot of stuff that was not healthy , even though , like I said , I was pursuing , you know , professional , professional things and you know , being a loving daughter , a loving family member , there was a lot of stuff that I was going through .
Speaker 2So I had taken I met a woman that was a yoga instructor and she was planning a retreat down in Costa Rica . I actually had met her when I was down there in 2008 and I kept in touch with her . She lived in Philadelphia and I became friends with her and kept in touch and she orchestrated this retreat called New Beginnings Retreat , and I said I'm going to go on this , I'm going to plan to go on this yoga retreat and I'm going to return to Costa Rica and I'll go to the retreat and then I'll go and visit my host family and spend some time with them . And you know , I asked my family to pray for me . I said , you know , if , if Jesus is real , if God is real , and then then he'll show up , you know , and he'll be there . And so I went and it was a really good time . The retreat was really nice .
Speaker 2Again , I was very into , you know , a lot of new age stuff , a lot of yoga , a lot of the astrology , a lot of all , all of those things , and but I was just starting to discern some things as I was in the group of people , just discerning differences , some of the partying that was going on , just just some of the differences . If , if you have been a , you know , a believer for a while , you can sort of tell the differences , with some sensual spirituality and then spirituality that comes from the Holy Spirit . It's a little different , very different , not a little different .
Speaker 1But like your eyes were opening up .
Speaker 2Yeah , it's like .
Speaker 1Saul on the road to Damascus . Right You're like I can actually see again .
Speaker 2Yeah , yeah . And so I ended up after the retreat , you know you parted ways and it was , you know , pleasant partings and and I went to visit my host family and just this beautiful reunion and and Costa Rica , you know , in the afternoon , which is probably typical to a lot of Latin cultures , but they have cafecito and there's just like little treats and and coffee in the afternoon , and each day we would go visit different families that you know , the little town that I worked in and lived in , super welcoming and very , very sweet , and so we were . We ended up at the house of the family of the young man that I had had the fling with back in 2008 . And so we were sitting with him and his family and my host family and having coffee together and talking . And as I'm sitting there , just talking with everyone , I'm just , I was just like inundated with the Holy spirit , just speaking to my heart and just showing me . Every time I talk about this , I get so emotional because God , god is so patient with us and he's so good , and so he was just showing me that that I was , that I was safe , that I was forgiven , that that there was a future , that his grace was enough that his grace is enough . I didn't have to keep hiding , I didn't have to keep running , so that was like the moment right there .
Speaker 2But when I got back to the States , you know , when you have an experience with the Holy Spirit , it's really , you know , it changes you , but other people can't , always , you're not going to understand . So I had , I threw myself into I don't know . I almost feel like I went underground a little bit and I definitely , I think that I might have , I don't even know . I tried to do what I thought was best for me in my walk with the Lord , but it wasn't something that like I shouted from the rooftops that happened , or that like I had this revelation , you know . But my husband knew , and then I was , you know , speaking with , you know , my grandparents .
Speaker 2And it was around the same time also that my grandfather , who was sort of seeing my , my walk and my struggles from the outside , you know he had said to me had given me a very strong rebuke one day that I was bought with a price , and that also hit me and brought me , you know , back to my senses that I , you know that I was worth loving , I was worth fighting for I was worth walking out a good , healthy life and sharing my gifts with the world , and that that my life , that I was always trying to live for myself , to seek pleasure everywhere , that was like leading me nowhere .
Speaker 2My life and my gifts are because I need , I need to , you know , have my purpose and my life hidden in Christ in order to have that fulfillment you know that only he can give me . So shortly after that , I actually moved back home with my parents , I moved out of Nick's house and I sort of had this period of consecration , I would call it , before we got married , because I knew still that you know the road was . You know marriage is not easy by any long shot . Like it's still life . We still have to go through stuff in life . So I just knew that , I was confident in the hope that I had . Now , I guess , and I am , I'm really thankful to have this opportunity to talk to you and to share it because , like I said , it's not something it's something I've shared with people you know , one on one or in , like Bible studies or fellowship groups or here and there , but it's not something I've broadcast to the world before .
Speaker 1But that's , that's my story in a long nutshell you shared so beautifully and you know I can see why he's connected us because we do have a lot of interwoven testimony and how , you know , looking back , we can see how he absolutely was protecting you . He was like putting your plan in place and , like you said , he was very patient Apparently I'm using a lot of P words and he has a purpose for you and we've had to like like I also too . I feel like when I got saved I kind of went underground myself in some ways because I had to be a little protected for a while from being around others who were doing drugs and drinking and you know , a whole story .
Speaker 1I could share about that another day , but I think there is a time , you know , for those of you who are listening , who may be yeah , we all have different stories , but you know , maybe there's a key here that you've taken from Stephanie's story that will help you in your journey and I would just love for you to share . Is there anything like I always ask the girls who are on my podcast , as you just kind of envision this one , this one woman who's listening into your story today , is there anything that you would want to just impart over her ? Additionally , and then also , would you just be open to praying over the listeners today as well ? Sure .
Speaker 2Yeah , I want to impart . I want to impart that God is your creator , that he knows you . He knows you so intimately , he knows you better than you think you might know yourself and you can trust him . You can trust , you can trust Jesus , you can trust him . But it's , it is difficult because we can't always trust our surroundings or we can't trust certain people , and it's it's difficult to navigate through those things sometimes . But if you keep seeking , if you keep seeking him with a pure heart , he's going to reveal himself to you and he'll show you and he'll be there and I just I do pray for you know discernment and wisdom , but how ?
Speaker 2do you want me to pray now ?
Speaker 1Yes , if you would , that would be amazing .
Speaker 2I would love to . I would love to , lord . God , I just thank you so much for this time . Thank you for Kristin and her ministry , lord , in this podcast that is reaching to people and hitting ears and hearts , lord , and we just pray that that your will would be done . We just thank you so much for your goodness and your love that never quits . Lord , thank you for the way that you pursue us , the way that you leave the 99 to seek the one , god , I just pray right now for anyone listening , lord , that is hurting with emotional or mental pain , lord , that you would just touch them today , god , and that you would be a bomb to their soul .
Speaker 2That you would help them to see that you are the firm foundation that they can build on , lord , that they don't have to start from ground zero . They just need to start with you , jesus . I just thank you , lord , that you are so much bigger and so much stronger , lord , and that we can depend on you . I just pray for peace . The past is all understanding , lord . I pray for hearts to turn to you today , lord , and I just thank you that it's your loving kindness that leads us to repentance . God , I thank you that repentance is not a bad word , lord , but it is so good because you are sweet and I just thank you so much , lord , for this time today To name we pray Jesus .
Speaker 1Thank you , lord . Thank you , sweetie , so beautiful . Thank you for coming on today . I just want to say you are a brave ways of sending many free . So thank you for using your voice , for doing it , for sharing your love , and may it go forth . I'm going to close with our anchoring verse for the Hope and Lock podcast . It's May the God of Hope Fill you with All Joy and Peace and , believing so , by the power of the Holy Spirit , you may abound in hope , and that's Romans 15 , 13 . So thank you for being on . I will add her contact info to the show notes , a little bit more about her bio , and I will be back the next week with another show . So thanks again for being on today , stephanie .
Speaker 2Oh , thank you so much , kristen , it was a blessing . Thank you All right .
Speaker 1Thank you .