Welcome to the Hope Unlock Podcast. I'm your host, Kristen Kurtz, and I'm also the founder of New Wings Coaching. I help and empower wild-hearted and adventurous women of faith feeling caged and stuck, unlock their true purpose and potential, break free from limitations, and thrive with confidence, courage, and hope. If you're curious to learn more about coaching with me, head to newwinkscoaching.net and be sure to explore the show notes for ways to connect with me further. Get ready to dive in as we uncover empowering keys and insights in this episode. So tune in and let's unlock hope together. Welcome to the Hope Unlocked podcast. I'm Kristen Kurtz, your host. I pray this episode is like a holy Ivy of hope for your soul. Please tell me welcome Janelle Kramer to the show. I am so excited to have her here today. She's actually a recent connection, and we happen to live very close to each other, which is such a blessing because I can only see what's going to happen from here on out. But before I get too much into that, would you just tell us a little bit about yourself before we get into your story and um what you're wanting to share with us today?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So I live in Minnesota. I've been here my whole life. And I have been a believer since I feel like since I was born, but I gave my life to Jesus when I was eight years old, and I got water baptized at 16.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_00Um, which is kind of a funny story because it, you know, baptism is you're revealing to others that you you're choosing Jesus. It's such a beautiful, supernatural thing that happens during during that baptism. But for me, um the I was in a church in Minneapolis that my parents are part of, and the boiler stopped working. So it was the middle of winter, it was really cold, and it was like below zero outside. So the water was yeah, the water was warmer than the air.
SPEAKER_01You did like a cold plunge.
SPEAKER_00I did kind of. Um, they said you don't have to, we could do this another time. And I I just like I think it was my spirit man was like, nope, yeah, I'm gonna do the hard thing and I'm gonna get baptized. Um
so I mean that should have been, I feel like, a clue as to what my life in Christ was gonna look like. I'm called to hard things, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yes, yes, yes.
SPEAKER_00Um, but it's been a good, I mean, it's been a crazy road with Jesus. I I would just say that for many years I kept him in a box.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_00And um I've always been very sensitive to uh the Holy Spirit. I've always um heard from God. I I see visions, like God's really been real to me. But I was very self-involved for a very large majority of my Christian walk.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_00And then um, and then when all hell seemed to break loose, and I realized that my understanding of who God is was being shaken. That's when I really took it upon myself to draw near to him, like I never had before. So it's been a well, I'd say it's been almost a decade. This really started for me in 2017.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_00So I feel like in the last in the last few years, everything has changed.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Everything everything is is different now because I I'm not just okay with being saved by Jesus, but I'm actually I'm interested in him being the Lord of my life. Yes.
SPEAKER_01Well, I would love for you to just go back. Um, part of me wants to go back to when you were 16 and made that decision. Like, you know, as teenagers, I I got saved when I was 25. So my teenager years were probably very different than yours. But, you know, being a teenager, making that decision, um, what does that look like for you? Did you have like other friends that you I'm wondering if maybe even a teenager will listen to this today? Like how to stay true to um, you know, walking with the Lord at that young age when you're so formidable, right? Like you're in that formation stage.
SPEAKER_00Well, I I had a very strong Christian home. Um, my parents are not perfect, they would attest to that as well, but they always made the decision to follow him. Um and I think there were just there were many years where it was like I was leaning more on their faith, which it, I mean, that's that's not wrong. There's a season for that, and it's good because what we do as parents matters. Um, the things that we share with them, all of that will it will bear fruit one day. But um I went through some really hard stuff as a kid. I had always struggled with my health. Um and what at the age of 10, I didn't realize at the time that you know the gut is very connected to your emotional well-being. And um, I was a very fearful kid.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_00Um, I think part of that was because God had given me the gift of discerning the spirits, and I I do believe that the enemy comes strongly against kids that have that gifting because it exposes him and it exposes the kingdom of God. Um, but I didn't know how to how to manage that. I didn't know so I was really led by my emotions for a very, very long time, not knowing, and always I had a lot of people tell me you're too sensitive.
SPEAKER_02Yes.
SPEAKER_00Um you you need to buckle up, you know, you just just figure it out, just man up, you know, even though obviously I'm not a man, but it's like scraps, right?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, like your wear on your sleeve. I think we're similar.
SPEAKER_00Yes. Yeah. So I felt like I really had no place. I didn't know who I was. I struggled with friendships. Um, I had a I had an ulcer when I was 10 years old. Um, I had shingles. I mean, my my body was under it was under attack constantly. And I'd love to tell you that it was, you know, something something crazy that happened, but honestly, I think that I was depleting my own immune system by the things that I would say to myself, um the way I perceived myself. And um I just I'm so glad that that God kept me through all of that. Yeah, even though it was really hard, I always found myself running back to him. He he became my place of strength. So I find a lot of um, I resonate a lot with David in the Bible because he I feel like he got me. Like I I I've been in the wilderness. I felt alone, I've struggled just being the type of sensitive person that I am. And um, and so I'm grateful that throughout all of that there were there were people and there were there were situations that continue to lead me back to him. I never I think I was too much of a rule follower to break the rules, but it was there were things going on in my heart. Like I was addicted to pornography. Like as a teenager, you were as a teenager, and the enemy would constantly lie to me about, you know, that this means you're you're a homosexual, you know, this is who you are. And um, I I didn't believe it, but then there was like that little part in me that was like, well, that would make a lot of sense. Wow. So there were sin issues, and this is pretty like prevalent for people that are, I feel like they are following the rules and they just want to look good, and they're people pleasers. But there's like there can be such a it's like these layers of shame that can form if those things are not exposed in a safe place. Yeah. So it was um, I didn't realize the grip that those things had on me until until all hell broke loose in 2017. And I was like, what do I do? I've never I've been through stuff, but it's like I have never been in a place before where I had absolutely no control. Wow.
SPEAKER_01So this was 2017. So this is just like nine years ago. Okay.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So when you say all hell broke loose, like what did that look like for you? Because I know we a lot of us have had our like massive come to Jesus moment, right? So what did that look like? Right now, share whatever you're led to. You don't have to share, you know, everything. Absolutely. You know, for those who are like, oh my gosh, like I'm walking through that right now. I just feel like you're gonna minister to so many by sharing your testimony.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So I say 2017 because that's kind of like where everything bubbled up. But in 2015, I was pregnant with my son,
who's my second child.
SPEAKER_06Okay.
SPEAKER_00And um, we found out pretty, I mean, it was too far along to be able to do anything about it. But we found out that I had gallstones.
SPEAKER_06Oh.
SPEAKER_00I had this pain, and I remembered having that pain with my other child when I was pregnant with her at the end, but I just thought, like, my ribs, like everything is expanding. It must be like a flared rib or something. Um, but from what I understand, my liver just is was not functioning properly, and when your liver is not functioning, your gallbladder suffers. Um, and so it was we did an ultrasound. I can't even remember how many weeks pregnant I was, but I think I was in my second trimester, and it was full of gallstones and sludge. Um, and they they told they didn't really, at least I didn't feel like they gave me a good plan going forward, but they basically said the only thing to do here is surgery, and it's not safe for you to have surgery until after you have the baby. So unless it's a unless it's a medical emergency, we're not taking your gallbladder out.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_00And um, they put me on like a low-fat diet and acted like everything would be fine. And it wasn't. So I struggled with with chronic pain and it was so debilitating. I actually um found myself going to the ER constantly.
SPEAKER_02Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_00For they had to give me morphine because the pain was so bad. They gave they ended up giving me uh uh, I think it was called Percocet, which is a pretty strong drug.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um and that only just dulled the pain. It just it would come, I feel like it would be most prevalent around like one o'clock in the afternoon. And then it wouldn't matter what I ate, it it was just so bizarre. And what I've learned about the the gold bladder too is that fasting actually um creates stones, like if you already have that problem. So there's just so much, there's so much about it that I don't even now understand, but I was I felt helpless. And um, and I'm pregnant, you know. I I almost had went into preterm labor because the pain was so bad. Oh my gosh. So then um, you know, I'm giving birth to him, you know, I'm at the hospital, and I had had an epidural with my daughter. Um hated it. It really was not good for me. And so I um we ended up doing a spinal and that I immediately all the pain was gone because I wasn't like I wasn't just giving birth. I was experiencing he was actually his feet were on my gallbladder as he's going out and there he's like kicking it. So I was having a gallbladder attack while I was giving birth. Oh and it's for a little while the anesthesiologist was trying to tell me that he couldn't do it because he didn't have my doctor's permission or something. I don't think I shared this, but I was born with a blood disease called Bon Willibrand's and um so it's something that's genetic.
SPEAKER_06Okay.
SPEAKER_00Basically, you bleed a lot and you bruise very easily. So they're really careful when you have anything to do with the blood, they freak out. So um he was just like, I don't have this written notice. And I'm like, why don't you come in here and tell me that to my face while I punch you? You know, like I was imagining not the time, yeah, yeah, yes. Um, but he finally did, you know, and and then I had him. I ended up uh hemorrhaging. I it got pretty scary there for a little while. They had to administer a drug called DDAVP. This is the synthetic hormone that helps to clot your blood. Um, it's something that they had administered to me back when I was a teenager when we found out that I had the blood disease, which actually wasn't too long after I was baptized. Um and so I went to the U of M and they just wanted to see if you're ever in a situation, if you're ever in like a car accident, um, we need to make sure that you know this drug will help you. And it did. Okay, it saved my life um a number of times. But um then after I had my child and and uh the pain continued with the gallbladder, you know, I was hoping that maybe after pregnancy it would get better and it didn't. And then I also had um I had an infection in my uterus after giving birth that they misdiagnosed me with, I think three times they did. So I'm like, I have a newborn, I'm breastfeeding, I have a two-year-old, and I'm in and out of urgent care because I have a fever and I feel like crud, and they don't like they keep telling me, oh, it's a UTI, oh, it's a bladder infection, oh, and like all of those things you need a different kind of antibiotic.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_00So my gut is already ruined from you know, all of that, and then and then I get my gallbladder removed.
SPEAKER_01Oh, you had to get your gallbladder removed.
SPEAKER_00Yep. So six weeks um after I gave birth, I I had it removed. Oh wow. Because I thought there was no other option, you know, I'm breastfeeding. I knew that there were detoxes and things that you can do, but I couldn't breastfeed if I did that. And so I thought this was the easy fix. But um unfortunately, it everything just um everything seemed to get worse. So I for I want to say the first six months after having my gallbladder removed, I was on the toilet all the time.
SPEAKER_02Really?
SPEAKER_00I it was so yeah, it was constant and it would come out of nowhere. And it was just basically what happens is the bile, so your liver, it makes bile, and that bile helps break down the fat. Um, it's just amazing how God made us. The gallbladder will know immediately how much bile it's supposed to release as soon as you consume food. So it's a beautiful, yeah, it's a beautiful little siphoning system. Um, but when that's out of alignment and when that gallbladder is removed, the liver just dumps the bile in. So I was having this happen, and it it really kept me in so much fear because I felt like I couldn't go anywhere. I have a newborn, I have a two-year-old. You can't just go to the bathroom, like at the zoo or at the library. Like it was, yeah, it was horrible. So, and you know, when you have fear, that makes everything worse.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, especially like like you're talking about, like your gut is kind of like your second brain too, with the emotions. Like, I don't know about you, but you know, certain situations can kind of like ramp that section up.
SPEAKER_00Yep, absolutely, yeah. And I had so I developed this pattern of fear. Anytime I would leave, there was like one time where oh, it was at church actually. So I went to church, my husband's on the worship team, you know. I've got the two babies, and I end up like pooping my pants. Oh my god. Like I don't get there in time. It was the most embarrassing, the most like defeating, the most like I felt like I had absolutely no control. That and I never I didn't know how to bring that to the Lord, so that that was like a trauma. Yeah, and um, it told me it's not safe to leave your house. Oh you have to stay at your house. So the you know, they would probably call it um postpartum, but I just I don't know, there's so much that goes into that. Yes, you have just given birth,
like it's it's really draining on on a on a person. You've got to get the right nutrients, and that's hard, and especially if you're breastfeeding, like and if you don't have support. I had I had wonderful support, yeah, but it's just like just defeating.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. So my gosh.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Like what did you like? I just want like what did you do? Did you like leave the building? My brain's going, like, what happened? Did you have to leave right away?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Well, I had so like this happened after service, thank, thankfully. So there weren't a lot of people there, but I had my husband run to Walmart and get one of those um Imodium uh tablets or whatever that helps you to stop, you know, and and then um changed what I could. Um but it just it it um there's this lie that that came to me, just like you're not safe when you leave your house. Like you have to, and it was a it became a prison for me.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um I really struggled in you know, being disconnected from people is that makes it worse as well. We need connection. And so I, you know, I struggled with depression, I really struggled with anxiety and they they had me on these medications because I didn't know what to do. I'm just like I felt like I was at the the mercy of these doctors yeah and I didn't know anything about um about you know conforming to God's word and and hit and uh being led by his spirit you know he has to have control in that area and um I had no idea how to do any of that and so just felt helpless no um and it was just I wasn't going to church I was I was experiencing warfare in our home too we didn't know um but there were we have we actually had uh to deliver our house basically from demonic spirits that were residing here every time that I would go downstairs yeah I would just suddenly want to kill myself oh my gosh it was like in this one specific place I would go down there and it was just like I didn't realize that there was a presence there something that the people who lived here before us had brought in that didn't leave and so God um I I'm so grateful that he brought people alongside of us to teach teach us you know you don't need a pastor to come in and take care of this you you have to rise up in your authority because if you don't that thing's gonna come back when the pastor leaves so we learned how to worship you know we learned how to how to pray in authority and we we saw that thing leave wow um and so that that was going on throughout all of this this this uh this presence in my home that was making it hard for me to hear God to want to be near him to go to church and then once that left it was like I mean it just felt like being delivered from Egypt but there was so much more that I had I had to deal with but God's so gracious he knows and he will always reveal what needs to be revealed so and timing that yeah yeah it's perfectly timed he knows the path that you're on he's not worried about it you might be worried about it but he's not and he's setting up these places where you can discover him they are they're like these these great deep wells um that we can drink from and be refreshed from but it's that we have to kind of snap out of our oh we got this attitude I got this yeah to be able to sense that and to know that that's there but that's available to everyone I'm not it's not just because I'm more sensitive to to hearing him this is available for every believer yeah to to be delivered from darkness this is this is God's salvation for them.
SPEAKER_01Well what like what did it look like for you um I would just I'm I'm curious if people are listening in and you know maybe they have never heard about their house being delivered before like what did that like specifically look like for you to deliver your house yeah well we we had never prayed when we um when we came to this house we were I think we had been married for four years I was pregnant with my first child and it just never occurred to us that we should consecrate our home it never occurred to us that we should pray about you know anything we didn't understand that there you know the spiritual atmosphere matters yeah and there's residue sometimes it's nothing to be afraid of but it's just you know when a believer lives in a certain place and abides in a certain place sometimes there's some confrontation that happens um and I think this was God's oh it was totally god's way of um of training me know I'm so grateful for it because um he showed me first of all that the blood of Jesus is greater than anything that's been invited here yes so you don't need to be afraid um and to there was a a book I'm forgetting what it's called but a book that a friend of mine had given me and they had actually these friends of mine um that were part of my church they came to my home oh really and they prayed for me and they could even they're very sensitive as well and they could feel like like there's something here Janelle so just having some of that equipping um oh prayer it's called the book is called prayers that route demons by John Eckhart I think is is his name okay um that wrote demons but it's it's teaching yeah it's it's teaching you this is what the Bible says about your authority.
SPEAKER_00This is um all most of the the prayers in that book are their scripture because I believe the greatest way to pray is to pray scripture. If you want to know that you're in alignment with God's will pray the scriptures you know um I mean better yet pray in tongues if you don't know what to pray. But he will pray through you whatever needs to be prayed um but we just continue to to take authority um and out loud too to pray over our home and we I on it I think I'm remembering it now so I I started learning about this you know that my friends had said hey we think something's going on with your home and I remember I felt like the Lord told me to just pray the perimeter and so when I started praying on the perimeter of my house my husband was home he was in his in the basement um on his computer doing something for work and my kids were sleeping and he said that they both had nightmares at the same time and he heard he said he heard like a voice uh not not an audible voice but it was like similar to the way that he hears from God where it's like almost like inward it felt like it was inward um say stop her from praying right now
or something bad will happen. And he was freaked out he's like you gotta and I was like I think he knew that you were outside praying yes he did I was like does that sound like something God would say right would he ever tell us to stop praying because that would conflict with what his word says to pray continuously at all times exactly so you're not hearing God you're hearing something else and that that I believe is what revealed there really is something going on here and we can't just ignore this. Yes so we had um we actually had some friends of ours that were part of our church they led these little worship gatherings here and there that were just whatever the Lord wanted to do they were led by the spirit and it was very prophetic worship. And so we asked if they would be willing to just come and do that in our basement because we felt like whatever it was was it just it was in that area. And so we didn't I mean I didn't tell them specifically where I had those suicidal thoughts but when we were worshiping and we were kind of walking around the basement and stuff the um the lady she she came to that very place and she said there is something here you need to take authority over it. And I was like how did you know yeah exactly how did you know and it was just this confirmation of a fight is not against flesh and blood there is an unseen realm and it is just as real if not more real than our realm. Yes um but to know that we have authority and that um God shows us how to kick these things out it's our responsibility you know God will there are many times where God will deliver you. I mean that's great God will just throw something out but um more often than not he he wants to train us how to take authority how to push the enemy back because that's who we're that's who we're called to be when he was giving Adam and Eve their mandate you know it was it was all about dominion it was about taking authority so it it hasn't changed. Exactly that's we were given the earth um to really partner with God and and to bring his kingdom but to think that there's not going to be any opposition is just not true.
SPEAKER_01So once you once you did that like did you notice like a lifting did you have to you know do another deliverance session with your house or was it like it was like you were done I'm just curious what that looked like for you guys it well I wish that that's all we had to do that would have been nice.
SPEAKER_00But um it continued to linger and what we ended up doing is I had this little CD well I had a C D player which I mean I don't have anymore because those things just really don't exist but I it had this these scripture scripture lullabies for babies and it was just it was very it wasn't like there are a lot of kids music and stuff that just it aggravates me so much I can't stand it.
SPEAKER_01But this was beautiful I mean it sounded like what I'm sure David would have sounded like you know just anointed um and specifically there was a CD that was all about Jesus and so I put that CD and the CD player downstairs and I had it playing for I don't know it was between 24 hours and 48 hours okay constantly playing down there and that CD player kept turning on and off and like it was just yeah it was it well it's like some of those movies or those shows that you've watched but I mean it was actually happening and you're like what is going on well the enemy does hates the word he hates the word he hates the name of Jesus like I that I remember like I have an app um it's like spoken bible and it was probably it might have been around that same time because that was kind of around the same time I had 2018 was my 2017 2018 um okay and I was playing the Bible all night so I could sleep instead of just being tormented in my sleep and having the Bible playing all night like ended up helping me sleep.
SPEAKER_00Wow yeah it's powerful so eventually and this was I believe this was during the summer but none of the windows were open all of a sudden there was a wind that came through the house and it was I mean I just like talking about it right now it it was the presence of God I know that it was yeah and he wanted to show it to me in a way that I could feel it um his presence swept through our house and that thing was gone. Amen and it's it's never come back we could feel a shift and even people that would come into our house were like something's different here I'm like yeah yeah the enemy's been rooted out he's out of here so that needed to happen and it needed to happen then so that I could walk through what God that that really the valley of the shadow of death that you know after all of the all the stuff all of the the gallbladder removal the depression the anxiety all this this struggle yeah I wish that was like the end of the story and then everything was perfect but it was it was the beginning. Chapter one so yeah right so then like in 2017 so I've had my gallbladder removed for two years I've been in what feels like a little bit of a state of health for a little while but learning my authority and then in 2017 I woke up at like five in the morning and I had the most intense pain that started in my back and radiated through my chest and came down in like these waves of pain.
SPEAKER_02Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_00And it was worse than the gallstones really so I mean I was so terrified we went to the ER and um they did all kinds of imaging they did their you know the regular thing that they do when you come and checked my heart um did uh some CTs and and all of that and I ended up leaving with a diagnosis of oh you just have acid reflux stop yeah no so I mean I knew that was the dumbest thing I'd ever heard I knew that wasn't true I knew something was wrong and um I didn't know what it was though. So it was after that I food became pain. Food was like I ate yes it was it was hard for me to eat I was always in pain and specifically most of the pain uh I did have some pain like where my gallbladder used to be which we did um we did an MRI and stuff to just double check and make sure that everything was okay there wasn't anything left
there um the connection from you know to the pancreas was okay there weren't any gallstones going there like we looked into all of that everything was fine but I uh I was throwing up I was throwing up bile at times um I was I was just in pain it hurt to eat and so I lost about 60 pounds in in a year and I went to I went to so many different doctors I got every test that you can imagine I they did more CTs and MRI they did um an endoscopy and I had several colonoscopies I did um a breath test um I mean there's I I can't even tell you like you were like a camp you were like a rat like getting tested. Yes yes and I mean we spent almost that whole year trying to figure out what's wrong and it was like we would get far with a doctor or feel like we're getting far with a doctor because he would order all these different tests and then they wouldn't give me an answer like the test wouldn't give an answer for what was going on and so then the doctor was like eh I'll just pass you on to whoever's gonna take you next so I just felt like I wasn't heard yeah and I didn't I I had no control. I was in pain all the time I felt like I was gonna die and um I looked like I was gonna die. I looked you know by the end I'm glad that I took a picture because I'm glad that I have pictures to remember that and to show people I looked like I had been through um chemo or you know something really traumatic because I had I was skin and bones I was I went from like a size 12 in pants to a size zero oh my word yeah and um I I was so confused spiritually yeah like God I know that you can heal because I have seen and I've heard that people have been healed of things you know I know that's what you say in your word I so what gives why yeah I've gotten so much prayer I had those those women came and prayed for me um and we just basically kind of exhausted western medicine so then we felt like maybe God was calling us to look into eastern medicine to look into um the chiropractic and um the functional health and and different things like that even Chinese medicine so we did that that was so expensive I I mean I know when the Bible talks about the woman of the exhaustive yeah that was literally me because I you know behind it all I had a blood disease and um and I spent everything that we had you know and that that brings a lot of shame too that I'm costing our family like so much money and I it it just felt so weighty um but we we tried you know what we felt like God was calling us to do we tried the functional chiropractor I the the supplements were so expensive so sad to do yeah that isn't even touch this just going to see him um I think I went to see him like twice a week or something but um for only six months and I ended up being worse than I was before. Really? So I'm at that was like 2019 oh this is 2018 no this is so this is 2018 so I had been sick for a year um we did probably like six months of trying to figure out western medicine and maybe six months in eastern medicine and we weren't getting anywhere and you know you have people who kind of pop up and are like well you must have sin you know like Job's friends like well there must be something and I just I was so resistant to that um and I was just really confused because I ended up in the ER I had two different strains of the flu like back to back and um I remember just being in the ER again you know and I was like a skeleton and the doctors were like you need to go to Mayo clinic really or you you're gonna die is what they said. Like you need to figure out what this what's going on and for those that don't know anything about Mayo Mayo is like kind of the god of medicine in our neck of the woods in Minnesota if you don't know what to do you go to Mayo and they they do have some incredible like they have some incredible doctors there that they just they do it incredible things for for people that are struggling but I you know I got set up to do that with my doctor you can't just walk into Mayo and be seen um all the doors seemed like they were open for that and then I went to call the mix appointment and God said no. And I was so frustrated because I'm like you are not cooperating you're not cooperating God
SPEAKER_01What do you think? I love your honesty. Like, I want to capture that, you guys. Like, if you're listening in here, like he he's okay with us saying that. Yeah. He knows. He knows our hearts.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Totally. So I was just like, why, why? This doesn't make any sense. I feel like this is what where the path is leading. You know, I feel like you've opened the door, and now you're saying no. And it that interaction with him changed my life because then he told me, Janelle, you've been seeking my hands for healing. But I want to invite you to come closer and to start to seek my faith. Because I am your healer. So I had to go from you know, a relationship with God that was so transactional and just the mindset of that. It's not my faith cannot just be in a God who does things for me. My faith has to be in who God says He is for me.
SPEAKER_01Amen.
SPEAKER_00He was taking me deeper and praise God that he didn't allow me to continue to try to figure it out in my own strength and to rely on man, because what he ended up revealing to me is that the sickness or the unknown disease that I had that I was suffering from, that there was a spiritual route to it. So if I had gone to Mayo, I don't think I would be here today.
SPEAKER_01Really?
SPEAKER_00Because
my body was wasting away this thing. He um he actually told me that. Because if you want me to know, I have to know what the Bible says about you. Then I started hearing from him more. Like it was just when you make time for him, when you are hungry for him, he shows up so often as like a fire host, sometimes. Um, but he revealed to me that there was a spiritual layer to this, there was a physical one, but there was a spiritual layer to this, and that whatever it was, it was being fed by the things that I said. So he told me that I had to starve it. Wow. I had to change my language, I had to change my thoughts because anything, well, and anything that's in your heart, the mouth speaks, right? So I had to really give myself to the surgeon of the Holy Spirit and allow him to cut away the stuff that I believed that wasn't true about who I was, about my future, and about who he was for me.
unknownWow.
SPEAKER_00So it was like a a shifting of the narrative. I had I was telling a story to myself about who God was. He was he was very small and puny in this story. God's like, Janelle, that doesn't align with the truth, right? Right, even if it feels true, your faith cannot be in your feelings, it must be in my truth. Say that again. Yeah, he said to me, Janelle, your faith cannot be in your feelings, it must be in my truth. That's so good. And I learned, I learned the hard way often that God's way is for us to put our faith in the truth and let our feelings follow.
SPEAKER_01And as feelings are important, a feeler, right? Yeah, exactly. Yep, what did that look like for you to walk that out? Because I know there's probably some fellow feelers listening in today.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I I had to actually start talking to myself, which really felt strange in the beginning because you know, anytime I seen people talking to themselves, they were crazy. Like God's like, no, you need to actually take authority. I taught you about authority, Jimmy. You did that. Like you we work together to gain authority over your home. You need to take authority over your body, and you need to come under authority, you need to hear and listen and actually let me plant in you the truth of what I say about you, your temple for my Holy Spirit, your place of dwelling for God. Like that's that's um that's a big deal. I'm I'm not in I'm not some in some far off place. I actually live in you. Yes, and so um sometimes you're bringing stuff into the place, into that place of needing that is not in agreement with my word, and you have to do what the Bible says is to cast those things down, yeah. That can't be something that you you constantly think about. I mean, it everybody is subjected to fear, like we all we live in a in a sinful world, yes, we live in a place where there is still you know spirits of fear and things like that. It's it's not abnormal, right? But just because it's nor like what I would say is normal for people doesn't mean that that's God's will for you, right?
SPEAKER_02Exactly.
SPEAKER_00And he was teaching that to me specifically, that I had to, when I felt pain in my body, I had to command my body to come back under the obedience of Christ. So I would put my hand wherever it was, and he was just teaching me. He also taught me when I would eat. You know, you're right now, it it didn't feel like that at all. It felt the opposite of what I was saying. I felt crazy, but I had to say, all food is good, and I'm gonna receive it with thanksgiving and gratitude, and just proclaiming that God's God's gonna help me because that's how He designed me to be. And it doesn't matter what I feel, it doesn't matter what I see, I'm gonna hold on to what God says, and I'm gonna continue to fight that way. Just it was like this inward battle. But I had to say it out loud because I think there's something powerful with using your voice. It's um uh we have a sword in our armor, and I just feel like when you're thinking it, but you're not saying it, your sword isn't doing anything.
SPEAKER_01Yes, and it we hear, right? We hear that, especially if you're like more auditory and then the enemy hears it too. It's like ooh, that packed the punch.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and you know what we hear makes a difference. So if you think about it, God's just got a wonderful design for our body, he created our hearts, that's like his place where he resides. And the heart speaks what the or the mouth speaks, what the heart is full of. So when he has done something in your heart, which he's always working in, he's not working in your head, he's working from your heart. He will deal with your head, but like that's the hardest part of us. So he works, he works differently. He starts in the heart, we start to change. It was important for me to start to change what I said because then I would hear that, and that would actually build faith in me. So it was like this cycle of life that God was teaching me to walk in. It was coming away from a cycle of death, which I felt like I was in a spiral. But he's like, nope, I'm not the enemy who comes to steal, kill, and destroy. I'm the one who brings life and abundant life is you speaking life-giving words over yourself, over your situation, it matters because what it does is it causes the enemy to shrink. He is empowered sometimes by the things that we say, yes, or disempowered, yeah, right, right. We get to flip it exactly. So just like the Israelites when they um when they came to Kadesh Barnia, and the spies had gone in and you know sought out the the promised land, they came back, and 10 of them gave a bad report, and they said that they were like grasshoppers and oh the giants. They were seeing a narrative, they were believing a narrative about God, about who they were, and about their future. That wasn't the truth. It was based on feelings, it was based
on maybe some some of their past, some of the things that they had believed from before, even when they were in Egypt. And so what that did is that that made it impossible for them then to enter the things that God had for them. He's like, Well, if you can't believe, then I can't bring you in there because that place is filled with opposition. And if you don't even have a seat of faith, then I uh God is so kind as to not allow us to go there, you know. So he's always, and I'm so grateful we have, you know, Joshua and Caleb in that story. They are the two out of the best.
SPEAKER_05Yes, they are.
SPEAKER_00They are. Yes, they were the only two of them out of the the 12. Oh, yeah, that gave a good report. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01They were not part of the 10 spies network. They were like, nope, nope, thank you. Like, you know, it's like the news network that like we see now again. That could be a whole thing. We could go down that whole rabbit trail. But yeah, I mean, absolutely. But we need that's where we need people in our corner who um see like Joshua and Caleb, right? Even especially in these times, like I feel like if we could just touch on that a little bit, you know, speaking of somebody, um, you know, we are like we've both her and I are in some lands that um we're in Minnesota and the 10 spies news network is uh amplifying a lot of things worldwide, even from here. Would would you just speak a little bit to what you know you're sensing? What um yeah, like dig in wherever you want to dig in on that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, well, I'm so glad you brought that up because in um in 2020, uh, after all, I mean, God, he came, I just have to say, he came in. And I I'm not a hundred pounds anymore. Um, he healed me through communion. And then we walked through that, like adding foods into my diet, uh bit by bit, and developing a better relationship with food, um, teaching me how to train my mind and and allow it to be governed by the Holy Spirit. Um, but then in 2020, uh, you know, all the things that went down. I mean, Minnesota wasn't was especially a really hard place to live at that point. It was just there was a heaviness during COVID that um I feel like the people that I talked to, depending on where they live, there was sometimes it was a heavier, um, it felt like a heavier place. Yeah, the atmosphere felt so so heavy. So, and as a feeler, I I feel that a lot. Um, and it it's debilitating sometimes, or at least it can feel that way. My job is to pray when I feel heavy. So I'm starting to pray for Minnesota. You know, the rides with George Floyd had had um started in, I think that was July, and God had really invited me to pray for my state. I had never done that before. I prayed for people, but I had never prayed for something like that. And um he showed me something about Minnesota that I, you know, I didn't know how to even categorize it at first. It wasn't a necessarily a word of knowledge or a vision, but it was a mystery that God revealed to me. There's um there's a Hebrew letter in the waters of Minnesota. I wouldn't have known that, even though I've lived here all my life, unless God had showed me just prior to that, He had invited me to study the Hebrew language. So I had a very like rudimentary knowledge of some of the different letters. I knew that they weren't just letters, they were also numbers and they were pictures. Okay, so this Hebrew letter is in uh both the Minnesota River and the Mississippi River. Okay, it it forms the letter Sade, and Sade is the picture of a bride. Now um Aleph is the very first letter in the Hebrew alphabet. Maybe a lot of people are familiar with that. Aleph is a picture of Jesus, it's so beautiful to to learn about this language because it just it's God's language, it's so beautiful. It's the the language that he chose to reveal himself, and um so Aleph is a picture for us of Jesus Christ, and Sade, the Hebrew letter in the waters of Minnesota is his bride. Wow, so then this this bride is not just standing, she's actually kneeling and her hands are raised, and she has a crown on her head, and where these things are in the state of Minnesota is pretty significant. So her knees are bent in the city of St. Paul, which is our capital, it's where the laws are made. And the submission, she's not kneeling to just anyone, she's kneeling to Jesus. It's so important for us to not miss. Um, and then her hands are raised in Minneapolis. Oh wow, which is very significant because especially in 2020, there were all kinds of signs that had this fist, yeah, you know, from Black Lives Matter, and um which was it, you know, it was it was um they tried to tell us, you know, this is a a symbol of justice, but I knew that it was a symbol of violence, it was a symbol of being closed off of disconnection, and so therefore it's just amazing that where we where we saw that that closed fist, the anger, the hatred, um God is revealing a bride with her hands open and raised in praise.
SPEAKER_02Wow.
SPEAKER_00And it's it's it's praise, it's praise that gets us to see God in the right in the right way. It's when we magnify him that we realize, oh wow, he is bigger than everything that we're facing, yes, and that makes it so much easier for us to kneel and submit when we have a right vision of who God really is. It also keeps us in love with him. I have found that I need to constantly be in the Psalms just to remind myself God is so lovely, He is so good, and to keep that, to keep that that altar of praise, to never let that die
is so it's so important, and not just for the individual, but for the bot the collective body of Christ. And then finally, the crown is in the city of Bloomington, which I didn't, yeah, I didn't know what I'm like, I don't know what that's about, but I had found out they have a Freemason lodge there. Um, actually, the city of Savage and Bloomington used to be one plot of land owned by a guy named uh Marion W. Savage, who had a very famous racehorse named Dan Patch, and he was a Freemason. So you could go down like that's a big long rabbit trail right there. We don't need to go there. Masonic company, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's interesting. Is I worked there for four years when I was a teenager.
SPEAKER_00Oh, did you?
SPEAKER_01And that's a whole other story.
SPEAKER_00Wow, yeah, yeah. So there's there's a land, land, right. I I didn't know anything about that. I didn't know anything about what it what it meant at that point, but God's just revealed to me even over the years, and I think 2020 was kind of a year where he brought it up to a lot of people. Um, but it's just a partnership between between man and the demonic realm uh to do things just like they were trying to do things during the Tower of Babel. You know, we're gonna elevate ourselves above God, which is exactly what Satan did. We're gonna make a name for ourselves, and so um it's just it what that is, is it's seeking authority, but there's no there is no like that doesn't have authority in the earth because of Jesus. Jesus has the ultimate authority, and so he's actually calling his bride out of that. He's calling his bride to come out of trying to do it themselves, trying to bring the world together in this, you know, one world kind of government, and you know, it's when it's under man who's not filled with God, yeah, it's demonic. Exactly. It just that's there's no sugar coating. Right. Yes. So when I started to understand that, it made so much sense that what God's saying is that when the what what he he's up to is he is behind the scenes and he is working to cause the bride of Christ to submit to him, to lift her hands in praise, to just fall in love with him like she never has before as a body. Yes, and when she does that, when she uh when she focuses her eyes on Jesus, you know, the the Bible says, well, Jesus actually said, um, you know, the we could wrap all the commandments up into two love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your mind, all your soul, and all your strength, and love your neighbor as yourself. But a lot of times we're very in the world loves this, they want us to love people first, right? Or to love self first, and that's out of alignment. Order matters, the way that God says things matters. It he has to be number one, exactly. And what what that will do when we truly love him with all of our heart, and that's that's not easy to do, you guys. That takes a constant surrender, a constant um dying. To self, I'm not even totally there yet. There are so many ways. So many I still need to, yeah. So many. Um yeah. So that is that has to come first, and when that comes first, other things just happen. When you have a right view of God, when you love him with everything within you, it's an overflow of his heart in you to love others as you love yourself.
SPEAKER_02Yes, yes.
SPEAKER_00So we don't have to strive to make all of this work. We don't have to focus on we just gotta figure this out. You know, it's all about submission. That's that's where it all is for us.
SPEAKER_01Okay, thank you so much for for just bringing this revelation to light. Um, I want to dig into it more myself because um he's given me some visions about what's happening as well. And you know, I just feel like there's there's so much we could go so deep with this, and maybe we'll have to have you on another time, even just to talk more about like I know you're talking about the Hebrew calendar, and you know, I think some people maybe not they may not have even known about, I mean, years ago I didn't either. I feel like I'm on like some fast track since 2018 for sure, which yeah, was when I went through my breaking, you know, I call it the breakdown to the breakthrough, right? So um I would love to have you on again. I know that you have a book. Would you be able to share just a little bit about your book with us? Um, because I know that's important for people to know that you have a book, you are an author and have authority.
SPEAKER_00Amen. Yes, I um I have a book. It's called Now My Eyes See You. It is a six-week devotional, and it's for anyone who is experiencing pain and suffering and feeling like a lot like I did, where everything feels out of control, the pain is really loud, and they want to grow closer to God, but it just doesn't seem possible. This is this book is a door of hope.
SPEAKER_06Oh, beautiful.
SPEAKER_00It's the oil from the things that I went through. I went through pressing, I went through, I went through so much, and um that is how I'm able to share with people. Yes, the the truth that that God revealed to me in the shadow of death. There were there were so many things that He revealed to me. Um so each week, there's as I said, six weeks of this devotional, each week focuses on something, and it's um the Lord had showed me each of those weeks is like a door that when you open it, get ready to hear from God. Um, so the first week is all about our connection to Him. So you will just be pointed to the truth about this, what the the Word of God says. Um, each week also has some prophetic words. These are the things that God said to me personally when I was going through all of the the hardship and the pain. He spoke them to me, but they weren't just for me. Yeah, they were for others. Um, because there's something about the prophetic that unlocks the door. Yes, absolutely, the door has to be revealed first, but then if it's locked, there has to be an unlocking, and then it is the individual's decision of whether they open it and walk through it. So the first week is connection, the second week I talk about surrender if you're not surprised. And then the third week is about identity, because that is the most that's where most of the warfare is, especially when you're in pain. Um, knowing who he is, but also solidifying uh what the Bible says about who you are, what he says about you in the midst of suffering. And then um the fourth week is about our covenant with God and what that looks like. Um what what is response, what's on us, you know, because a a connection, like that's the strongest connection in all of the earth, in all of everywhere is this covenant that we have with God. It it means it's not just He's gonna do all these things for us, it's we have a responsibility.
I mean, if you're married, you know that there's no such thing as one person in the marriage. There are two people, yes, and there's conflict, and you have to learn how to work it out and keep your love on. So I just share a lot of things that we find in scripture that will help uh that will help you just just solidify for you the truth about your strong covenant with God and how to keep that. Um, and then week five is about support. We need the support, uh, especially from the comforter, the Holy Spirit. And I just share, you know, this is the way that that you can cooperate with him and and hear from him and lean on him. And then finally, week six is all about encounters. I um I believe that pain is the invitation to encounter God face to face. And this is, you know, the the name of my book, now my eyes see you, it comes from the story of Job. He says that at the very end. You know, he goes through all this horrific pain and suffering, and then he has all these people that were friends that are ridiculing him and point, you know, pointing fingers at him and saying things that aren't true, and he's just really struggling to find God. Um, he's the he's the prototype, he's the he's the innocent sufferer. Yes, he was prototyping what Jesus would be. Jesus is the ultimate sufferer. So I have found that the the story of Job and the and the book of Hebrews in the New Testament are just beautiful partners because Job is uh proposing for us this this pain, this suffering, this innocent suffering that's awful. And then in Hebrews, it's revealing this is who Job was looking for. This is the ultimate sufferer, Jesus Christ, who never committed even one sin, who died for you, and he is constantly standing in the gap. He's the answer. So um I had, and we'll probably have to talk about this on another on another episode, but I did see, I have seen Jesus um in the midst of of the pain that I went through. And uh I believe that what he did for me, he's gonna do he's gonna do for others. I believe that that's just only the beginning. Seeing Jesus for who he really is, it'll change your life, it'll change everything. And I believe that that's what he's doing right now. He wants people to encounter him. He wants he wants people to go from, I mean, the Bible is is wonderful. I love the Bible. Um that's where we know what we're encountering is if that's of God or not. Um, but we need to encounter God, we need to constantly expect that we're going to encounter his presence.
SPEAKER_01Amen. So Janelle, I said this before we even got started. You are a well of wisdom, and I'm so thankful that you came on and shared today. How can people get a hold of you and touch base with you if they want to connect?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so I have a podcast called You Are My Witnesses. It's available anywhere that you get your podcast, so you can listen to that. Otherwise, I do have a newsletter uh that is located on my website, and I believe you'll have some links for that. Um yeah, so I share uh a lot about the Hebrew months and the appointed times of God. Um, it's a really great way to learn more about the scriptures and how they all, everything is pointing to Jesus, everything is connected, what he did for Israel, and what he is um just with the feasts, especially the spring ones, and what he is going to do because Jesus is coming back. So those are the best ways to connect with me. Otherwise, I do also I'm on Facebook and Instagram, but um here and there.
SPEAKER_01So yeah, I'll be sure to add all of her contact information in the show notes, her book link, um, the podcast, newsletter, all the goodness, because she's she's one that you want to stay connected with for sure. So well, as we close today, um, I always want to just have guests just kind of imagine the one who's listening in today. Is there any words of knowledge or wisdom that you'd want to share beyond what you've already shared today? It's been beautiful. Um, any any words of encouragement? And then would you just pray us out today?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, absolutely. So I would just say that um Psalm 91 is a scripture that I I've read my whole life, but a lot of times it can be very confusing when you find yourself in a place where you don't feel safe because Psalm 91 is it's talking about security. It says, He who dwells in the shelter of the most high will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. What this psalm is all about is your relationship with him. There is security in your relationship with him. You will probably go through the storms of life. But Psalm 91 is there to remind you that no matter where life takes you, no matter where your path is, he is with you. He will never leave you, he will never forsake you. Even when you feel like you're unsafe. Uh, that has been such a a shift for me because I would look at my life and say, well, this doesn't feel right. I don't feel like Psalm 91 applies to me, and I feel like it conflicts with Psalm 23. Like I'm just supposed to be protected, but it's the relationship with God. We're a part of that, but we there are things that we can do to protect our relationship with him, but he is doing everything to protect his relationship with you, and you can trust that and do what it says in the first verse abide, find shelter in his wings. So um with that, I just pray, Lord, thank you. Thank you for being my security during all these turbulent times. But thank you, God, that there is a door of hope available through the message that I shared. And this is this is for everyone. So I pray right now that there would be an unveiling of
that door. This door isn't hope, isn't just in an outcome. Hope is not just in it can't just be in healing, it has to be in the person of Jesus Christ. So Lord, would you reveal the door of hope to each of these listeners? And I just proclaim that as it's revealed that those doors are being unlocked in the name of Jesus. I just see it right now in the spirit. I see just millions of doors they're being unlocked because he's given me authority and he wants to do the same for you. So I ask Jesus, would you right now just bring a fresh wave of courage to the brokenhearted, to those who are going through hardships and they feel the confusion and they don't know where to turn, they feel like they can't hear your voice. God, I pray right now that you would remind them that you are right there, and that you would help them, God, to open that door and walk in it. Thank you, Jesus, for making that available, and we just feel this all with the powerful and mighty blood of Jesus and in his name. Amen.
SPEAKER_01Amen. Janelle, thank you for being a brave voice to setting so many free. I am like, let's get you back. So much more. I am gonna close with the anchoring verse over Hope Unlocked, and it's may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace and believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. And that's Romans 15, 13. So thank you again, Janelle. I will be back with another episode next week. Thank you, listeners.