Welcome to the Hope Unlocked podcast. I'm Kristen Kurtz, your host. I pray this episode is like a holy IV of hope for your soul. Please help me welcome Jenna Shu to the show. I'm very excited to have her here today. I just love taking a moment to get to know people just a little bit before we get started. And I can tell that she's just going to have a lot of goodness to share today. So before we get into your story, would you be open to sharing a little bit about yourself?
SPEAKER_00Yes, definitely. Well, thank you first of all for having me. I again, like you mentioned, we talked a little bit before, and I think this is going to be such a great conversation. And I agree that it's going to be a hope to those who hear it, and the right people are going to hear what they need for their time in their life.
So my story, it really begins with this unexpected shift from mom and nurse into the patient. So I had worked in healthcare, and so I had very understood all of the procedures and doctor appointments, labs, hospital language, you know, all of that stuff. I had worked in the CAF lab where I took patients back who were in the middle of having an acute heart attack or myocardial infarction. And so I would take that patient who was having a very terrifying moment and take them back and help the doctors as the doctors would try to open up that artery that was blocked and restore that blood flow. And so I had been in plenty of very difficult situations on that side of the bed where I was the one comforting the patient and I was the one trying to instill confidence that they were going to be okay. And I would pray with them if they wanted me to pray with them and I would hold their hand and all those things. But nothing really fully prepares you for hearing your own diagnosis and that shift between nurse and patient. And at the time that I was diagnosed, I had just had my second child just a few months before. I had my oldest child was they're 18 months apart. So very young, very together, very close, close age, and both still in diapers. So I'm dealing with getting out of nursing, transitioning out of nursing, and dealing with this diagnosis and mother of two and just having a baby. So learning to do all of the things with two under two. My gosh. Oh my gosh. So yes, it was a very interesting time. I really had to lean a lot on the Lord during that time.
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SPEAKER_01Can you can you just take us kind of back? So you had just had your second child and you were given it this diagnosis. What at what point were you given that diagnosis? Was there something that came to light for you? Did somebody, you know, point something out? Was there something that you were picking up on? Can you kind of take us down that journey
a little bit?
SPEAKER_00Yes. So after I had my second son, I got mastitis just horrible, which I had had it with my first son too, but I had it so to the point of almost being septic. So they put me into the hospital and they put me in the step-down unit, which is one level below the ICU. And I remember really being in and out of consciousness because I was just so sick and it had happened so fast. And I remember just the fear trying to hit me because I had just had a baby and I had another baby and at home. And I was thinking, you know, what if? And all the what ifs were just swirling around my head. And I remember calling my husband, and I'm like, I'm really scared and I don't know what to do. And that was one of the bigger turning points because he told me, what you're gonna do is get in the word, get healing scriptures, and just play healing scriptures all the time, you know, listening to worship, listen to teachers that we trust, and et cetera. And I started doing that and it really started to help build my faith up. But when I got back home after all of that, I still had a lot of recovering to do, not only from that, but I had lost a lot of blood with him when I delivered and all the things. And so I remember just battling with this fear of what if I pass out when I'm here with my kids by myself? My husband works like half an hour away, and I live in a very rural area of Nebraska, as in my closest neighbor's a mile away. Oh my god, well, what will I do? Like, and I remember just that, you know, those waves of fear just hitting me. And that's really where this, what I call training, my reflex came in because I had to figure out a way that I could get myself under control and get these thoughts from taking over. And I wanted to enjoy my children, and I didn't want to just constantly be living in this fear. And so I had to start focusing on what the Lord said about me and what the Lord said in his word. You know, he talks about he did not give us a spirit of fear and that we have power and love and a sound mind. And so I would speak that over myself and my children and during that time, and that started eventually getting better. And then we all kind of got a sinus thing. Don't know if it was a cold or whatever it was, but mine turned into a sinus infection. It gave me some antibiotics. Long story short, the antibiotics bothered my stomach and it just didn't stop. Like I would be getting sick all the time. I couldn't keep any food down. And I didn't really think much about it, but I went out with some friends from my church and I said, Hey, we're gonna go out to eat, and just to let you know, if this happens and I get sick, like, don't worry, I'm fine. And they both kind of looked at me and they were like, Well, maybe you should go see your doctor. And so I did. And so the doctor said, Hey, we need to figure out if it's your gallbladder or what's going on, because that was the direction they were thinking. And, you know, we talked a little bit about being led of the spirit. And when they told me that, it's like something inside of me, the spirit inside of me, just with screaming, no, like it is not your gallbladder. That is not what this is, but I couldn't put my finger on what it was.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_00And so I did, I was like, you know, an ultrasound is very non-invasive, so let's just go do it. So I did it and they called me.
SPEAKER_01And you had suggested that?
SPEAKER_00They suggested it. They were like, hey, let's just look and see if this, if you've got an issue with that, because that may be what's going on, like based on your
symptoms. And I was like, Okay, sure. Yeah. So did it. They called me and they're like, Yeah, your gallbladder does have some stuff going on, but we found a mass on your kidney.
SPEAKER_02Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_00I said, Okay. And I said, Well, what is it? You know, and they said, Well, we don't know. We can't tell from the ultrasound you're gonna have to go get a CT scan. So I said, Okay. And I remember in that moment, I was at church at our, we have a weekly prayer time. So I would take my kids and I would be in the nursery with them listening to prayer. Um, and then I would, you know, pray as I could between, you know, sharing with the toys and getting snacks and all of those things. And so during that time, I remember I just hung up the phone and I just picked up my kids and I walked right into that prayer room and I said, All right, everybody. So I said, I need prayer because I'm I don't agree with this report, and I'm gonna believe the report of the Lord. And I think they were like, All right, let's do it. So they all prayed and agreed with me. And I went and had the CT scan. The CT scan, she called me and she said the mass is benign. And I said, Oh, okay, well, praise God. And I was getting ready to hang up the phone, and she goes, Well, and she told me that they had found that my liver was enlarged, my spleen was enlarged, I had multiple enlarged lymph nodes all over, and I had infiltrates in my bones, meaning there was something in my bones that was eating away at them.
SPEAKER_01Oh my gosh, how could how could they tell just on that aspect of the bones?
SPEAKER_00This from the CT, I guess they looked kind of like they just looked different. They said they look different, it looks like bumpy. I don't know how to explain it. They showed me one time, they like zoomed in on it, and it was like little bumps all over my bone where it shouldn't be. And so I said, Well, what is this? And she was like, I don't know. She goes, This is not something that we typically see. And so she told me, You're gonna have to go see Dr. Such and such. And immediately I just my breath caught because he around in this rural area, he is the one that people go to for oncology. Okay, and I knew immediately this isn't good, and so then we started
that whole process of getting diagnosed. So it was probably around six months after I had my youngest child, and I went through the sepsis and all these things, and then I got the diagnosis of this very rare disease that he told me was also incurable.
SPEAKER_01He told he told you it was incurable.
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah. He said this is he goes, I need you to hear me because this is a treatable disease, but he said it is incurable. And what did you say to that? Uh I had a mask on because it was COVID had started during that point. And so I had a mask on, and I just remember saying no, like quietly, but I was like, I just I don't accept that, that that is gonna be my future. And I think I had to say that just to interrupt my own thoughts and just like voice that out loud that I'm not accepting that. Not that he was wrong or that he was telling me anything that was medically untrue. But I think in my own faith, I had to hold on to that hope and say, I'm not going to just take that for myself and walk that out.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Words are so important, aren't they?
SPEAKER_00Yes. And I I talk a lot about how, you know, when your mind is trying to just spiral out of control, the one thing you can do is to speak something that is truth out of your mouth because your mind has to stop and focus on what you're saying. And so you're not only interrupting that thought process, but you're also speaking the right thing over yourself. And you're hearing you say the right thing over yourself. And that is an important way to shift your perspective.
SPEAKER_01Yes. Well, I can only imagine. So you've got at this point, you have a six-month-old and just barely a two-year-old.
SPEAKER_00Yes. Yeah. Okay.
SPEAKER_01What what was your husband thinking? Like, how do how how how is that going? Like, what was he he thinking over all of this? Like, how did that news hit him? Just curious from a spouse perspective as well.
SPEAKER_00Well, my husband is the like least worked up person ever. Like, he doesn't get worked up, he doesn't get flustered, flustered. He is just very like faith forward. And he I remember him just saying, I hear, you know, I hear what you're saying, but he said, We're we are just gonna stand in faith on what God's word says. And no matter what the doctor says, I remember him telling me this on the on the way to see the oncologist. He said, No matter what they tell you, we're not gonna disagree with their medical
opinion, but we are standing in faith that that you are coming out on the other side of this and what God's word says, that you are going to live and not die. And I remember just having him be that rock when we're going through that was especially a blessing to me.
SPEAKER_01Yes. And how about like family? Did you have do you have family nearby? Sounds like you have some great friends nearby. Did you have family nearby at the time?
SPEAKER_00My family lives about six hours away, so all of my family is not near me, but my husband's parents live about a mile and a quarter down from us, so not too, too far. Okay, and they just kind of were the same way. Like my father-in-law is also my pastor. Oh so when I talk to him, I'm talking to you know both sides. Yeah. And so he would just say the same thing. You need to just read what the Lord says about you. And then he often would encourage me to read the story about the woman with the issue of blood who had the faith to reach out and grab on to what the Lord had for her and not let that go. Yeah. And that was very much an encouragement to me, too, because that story is so powerful. How you know the Lord could literally feel that her faith had made her whole. And I think that that was something that I could really anchor my own faith to.
SPEAKER_01Yes. Did you have a verse or verses at the time that you really clung to? Oh my goodness. Yes.
SPEAKER_00Yes. I had really, I had a whole note on my phone just full of healing verses. And that helped me so much. But I also, when I talk to other people, I say you don't have to have a whole page of verses. Right. That because that can be so overwhelming sometimes, especially if you're not used to going back to the word. And so I will tell people often
just pick one or two verses and have that be what you're standing on. And I know for me, the verses that I would stand on because it was a bone marrow disease, is I really loved Isaiah 58, 11 that says, and the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong. And so I would, yeah, I would speak that over myself because I knew that that was what I was speaking over. And then Proverbs has a verse that says, It will be health to your body, your marrow, your nerves, your sinews, your muscles, all your inner parts, and refreshment, physical and well-being to your bones. And so I knew those specifically were speaking to me because of what my diagnosis was in the bone marrow. And so I would speak those over myself, that my bones were normal and that my bone marrow was normal. And I just continue to believe that despite all of those other things that I, you know, heard through various reports. And as I got closer to IV chemotherapy and stem cell transplant, the reports didn't, you know, get any better or any gentler. So it was very much having that foundation from the time I was diagnosed, and even before having that foundation really helped me to be able to practice what I had already put inside myself instead of trying to learn it on the fly. You know, it's like trying to teach somebody to swim in the middle of a storm. It's so much harder to learn that way rather than to learn when the waters are calm and you have the ability to really listen and get those things in deep.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So today's a great day to start, people. If you're listening in, you're not in the word. Today is a great day to start, would you say?
SPEAKER_00Yes, absolutely. It is like a good day. It's always a good day to be in the word. And I say this too that the word is not like a prescription where you're gonna get too much of it. You will never get too much of the word. And I do think some people get really overwhelmed, especially women and caregivers who have so much on their plate already, and they just are wondering how do I
add another thing onto my plate? And I what I like to tell people is, you know, generally if you're a believer, you probably pray in the morning and you pray at night, and you generally probably pray over all of your food, which is usually at least two or three meals a day, depending on how busy of a mom you are. And so I say, you know, find one or two verses and just say those along with those prayers. And if you do that, you're already saying his word five times a day. And that doesn't have to be overwhelming. And I like to say too that you don't have to take the whole staircase in one leap, but just one step at a time will get you up there and it's a manageable way, it's a manageable bite instead of trying to take the whole thing at once.
SPEAKER_01Yes. Can you imagine trying to like read the Bible all at one time?
SPEAKER_00I think and I think a lot of us are read back. Right.
SPEAKER_01I feel like there's just, I'll never forget somebody telling me years ago, she said one of the most wonderful like journeys she's had with the Lord has been actually taking, you know, maybe five verses and just chewing on it for like months at a time.
SPEAKER_00Yes. And the word says to meditate on the word. And I think that when you look at that word meditate, because I love looking at the word and like dissecting it. So when you look at the Hebrew and the Greek of that word meditate, it doesn't just mean to think about it, it means to deeply think and also to say it. When you actually look the word meditate, one of the translations is a word that means to mutter it, to speak it, to talk over yourself. And I love that for a couple of reasons. One is when I was in nursing school, I had instructors that would tell us if you can sit and read this to yourself, this information will get so much deeper inside of you. And that is just backed through science. That's not the word, but the word had already been telling people that. And so it's great to know that it's not just recognized in the word, but there's science that proves that meditating it and reading it and hearing it, doing the word in all of those different ways. Whether you're a visual learner, a tactile learner, or an auditory learner, when you do those things, you're getting the benefits of all three.
SPEAKER_01So good. I love you know the U version Bible app. I love to have it like reading to me, like verbally audio, and I read it at the same time. Because again, like I'm a I'm such an audio learner and visual learner. So seeing it and hearing at the same time, it just gets in there that much deeper. I remember years ago, I was like, I don't know if I'll ever be able to like memorize verses, but how have you found, has it been for you more audio, like getting the word in you?
SPEAKER_00I think for me it's a mixture of both. So I like to read it and speak it and hear myself say it. And I feel like if I have a certain moment where, like if a thought is coming to me, like, what if this happens? Then I answer that thought with the same verse. And so because I do it so repetitively sometimes, depending on how often that thought is coming, you just get it in you to the point where you you're literally training it as a reflex. You're training it to when that thought comes, that's your answer. And so when you do that, it does become just like a new pathway in your brain that that's going to be the answer when that thought comes up. And it just it just comes out of you. I mean, that's what that deep spirit is there for. It's it's a part of who you are. And I can remember when there was a period of my health journey where I was so weak, I couldn't hardly stand up. I had to use a cane to walk and things. And I remember that I would say over and over and over myself, every time I would try to get up, or it was difficult for me to do something in with my physical body, I would say, I'm strong in the Lord and the power of his might. Or I'd say, the joy of the Lord is my strength. And I would repeat those over myself every time I had to move, and it was hard, which was a lot. And I just believed that those verses they really get deep inside of you and they put into your mind, and you can see your yourself as being strong, even though you don't necessarily feel that way in the natural or emotionally, but you're speaking out those things as if they were. That's what the word says about faith.
SPEAKER_01Yes. Amen. Well take us, take us a little bit on your journey of, you know, you're you have young kids, you're you're having treatment, you're you're going probably through a lot of ups and downs. How long was this journey that you went on?
SPEAKER_00I was diagnosed seven years ago. Okay. And my first round of chemo was when COVID was really, really ramping up. And so you think that was 2020, 2021. And then I received my and that's when I was around 33 years old. I received my
sim cell transplant when I was 35. That was two years ago. And when I received my sim cell transplant, I talked a little bit before we started about how it threw me into menopause. And so I was dealing with that and I also was dealing with I lost all my hair which I had hair clear down to my back. So I lost all my hair I was thrown into menopause. I had to be away from my children for a hundred days because that's the rule you have to be yep you have to be in like in the hospital I had to be in the hospital for the first month and then you have to be within driving distance which I'm I lived two hours away from my hospital. So I had to be within driving distance like within 10 minutes of the hospital for a hundred days. Oh my gosh. That was very tough and my kids would come up and visit a you know sometimes but I was so weak I couldn't hardly do anything. We FaceTimed a lot but it was a lot and it feels sometimes like you miss these things and you miss holidays and birthdays and that's hard as a mom. That's not something that you want to have to tell your children I can't be there for this or I can't be there for that. But you also know that your choices are so limited during that time and God's grace just meets you in those places.
SPEAKER_01Wow and while you were there like I'm just curious like how how were you doing like mentally you know throughout this I can't imagine how like how did you do it?
SPEAKER_00I mean I know how you did it because I know I know your story part of it and who guides you but like ultimately like did you have some really low moments I had some really I always say that I had to stop waiting for faith and hope and joy and peace to feel automatic and I had to just practice it anyway because some of the things that I went through it did not look like there was any hope. When
I was diagnosed I was told that the aggressive form of this disease had a survival rate of two to four years. And I have had the aggressive form more than once and I went through a time when I had a perforated bowel I had blood clot in my jugular vein I I had many many many things that did not look hopeful but I had to practice it anyway and I I would say that to just to give hope to those that are listening that it doesn't always feel like you have hope available to you but you practice it. And that's really that language of of that joy reflex that I that I talk about is because you train it through repetition whether you feel like it or not. And spiritually you learn how to respond to those hopeless situations or that fear with the truth of his word and what his word says about you and that he wants you to be more than a conqueror that he wants you to be abundantly blessed. He wants you to have a life of abundance and he and to me that means healed and not sick. To me that's what those things mean and that I'm here for my children and that it means that fear doesn't get to to lead me. And that that is what walking in faith means to me and sometimes it starts when you can honestly say Lord I don't know what the next five minutes is going to look like but I know you are here and I'm choosing you. And man there were so many times where that was where I was at was Lord I don't know where this is going to go in the natural but I know that I'm anchored by you.
SPEAKER_01That's so good. I think that's such a just a beautiful posture to be in just in so many different respects of just I don't know but you do right.
SPEAKER_00Right. And I think there's no shame in that I think people think sometimes they have to have all the answers or have to have all the right things or all the you know right verses and it's like God meets you where you're at if you're willing to meet him. Mm-hmm. And you mentioned joy reflex so did joy reflex come out of the hundred days like how did joy reflex come to be and and tell us what it is so the joy reflex really is that training your neural I'm an you know I'm a nurse so I try to go the mercy way but I try to say like training your brain training those neurals those neural neural pathways right we call it neuroplasticity which is a super long word to say train your brain to reflexively
reach for faith and hope and joy and peace instead of fear and what ifs and anxiety and all of those things. And it's not it's not meant to be based on the emotions of the moment because our emotions will take us to wherever they feel like we need to go if we allow them but it's anchoring ourselves in what the Lord says about us in that situation. And a lot of times I'll say that the framework really is to not deny the reality we're in. I think that sometimes people associate faith with having to deny what is true. And that's not at all what I recommend. I say just acknowledge what you're going through. This is where I'm at this is what the doctor is saying this is what the bank account is saying this is what the grief counselor is saying whatever situation you're in but then anchor yourself in what the Lord says about that. So find some verses that that are speaking to you personally and you'll know that if you're led by the Spirit when you're reading those verses you'll know that on the inside what verses are are speaking to you and then just take the next step. And sometimes the next step is just saying that verse out loud and sometimes it's going to a church service and sometimes it's watching a church service. There was many a times my immune system was so low but I said to myself I'm not going to miss what God's word has for me today. And I would find something online that I could watch that was that agreed with my beliefs and I would make sure I did that. And that could be calling up a faith friend that you have and it could be pulling out a devotional that you love to read that encourages you. But just taking that next faithful step and what that does when you go do those three things that becomes a pattern for your brain to go to when those what ifs or that fear tries to hit or those circumstances try to come up that you say okay this is happening but I know where to go when this happens and it and the Lord has something for me in this moment. Yes. Now is Joy Reflex a book it is a book it is not published yet I'm working towards that I know I'm working towards that so stay tuned because more information will be coming out about that because I think that I was like this needs to come out. Yeah it's just you need to give birth to this and I think that the what the joy reflex really is is me sharing my story and how the Lord showed that to me and revealed that to me and kind of held my hand and walked me through that and how other people can train that too because I just got a chance to share just a uh honestly a small tidbit of my story today and there are so many more situations where the Lord showed up for me where it looked like there was no way out and share one maybe at least one of them would you one of the stories sure yeah yeah I I feel like it you know this is all about that Ivy of hope.
SPEAKER_01I love that I say that I think you probably love that as well. It's a it's definitely holy Ivy of hope. So if you could bring one for us today.
SPEAKER_00I think one of the moments that I remember was one of the first ways that God really showed me that he was on my side which you know that on the inside but then when you see it in a real life real moment my moment situation. So I had talked a little bit about this that when I was going to do my first round of IV chemotherapy the disease that I was diagnosed with is so incredibly rare there is very very little treatment for it. And the IV chemo that they use is actually used for a different disease but it also works with the one I was diagnosed with. And it's a five day course of IV chemo. So you have to do Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday you have to do all days each one has a different each one had an infusion. So the doctor said okay we're going to do this and
they tried to get insurance to approve it and insurance just kept fighting us on it. And I remember sitting in seriously seriously seriously oh yeah I remember sitting in the parking lot of my oncology office just bawling because they were they put me on the phone with them and were like try to talk to them and see if they will do something for you because we can't we don't know what else to do. And I was at a place where I had lost so much weight I was just like skin and bones like my cheeks and my temples were all sunken in you could see all my ribs because I had lost so much weight I was very sick and they just wouldn't budge like insurance was just like yeah well we're sorry but this is our you know whatever. And so we just we just stood and believed in faith that this was going to get approved this was going to be okay we were going to have a way to do this. And eventually the approval did come through and we were so grateful and we were praising God and then and they called us and they're like well because of COVID there's all these supply issues right now and we have the oncology office had like two or three bags of the chemo and the hospital had the other bags but they couldn't combine them. So they're like we we can't get more and the hospital can't give us theirs and we don't know what to do because they're like we know that you need this but your options are to wait and hope we get more or to come in and do the three and not get a full treatment and hope that we get it before your treatment is over. And I remember thinking why do I have to make this decision I'm not the oncologist right and she was like I understand that but you you do you you are the one who's going to have to decide and I I remember just sitting in my mud room and my kids wanted to go outside and so they're putting on their shoes and we're trying to get outside and I'm on the phone trying to make this life or death situation with my kids hollering at me to come outside and watch them you know play with chalk.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_00And I I was like Lord help me and sometimes that's the only thing you have time to say and I just felt peace about I said no I don't want to do it without all five and so they were like okay and so the doctor brought me in the oncology doctor brought me in and he set brought me aside to the special waiting room and he said here's what we're going to have to do I'm going to have to put you in the hospital so that you can receive this chemotherapy because I cannot wait any longer and I he said it's going to be at least six days in the hospital by the time you get done. And I remember saying I've never been away from my two children for six days at a time my children are still very little and I don't want to be away from them and I don't know about this, you know, kind of a thing. And I remember him looking at me and my husband and he said I understand that but he said your options are to be away from your children for a few days and get this IV chemotherapy or and he just stopped talking. And we knew that meant or you're not going to be around to see them the rest of the time and so I remember I'm just like okay kind of like I guess I needed that little slap in the face of reality of you're you're going to have to do this. And so I did. And so I remember that it was the day after Labor Day and my husband and me went into the hospital during COVID was just really ramping up. Everyone was very scared and here I am going to go in the hospital and have chemotherapy during the middle of COVID. And so they put me in the hospital and they told me don't leave your room we have COVID patients on this floor. You may not leave your room you cannot leave your room and as soon as you're done we have to get you out of here as soon as possible and they were monitoring me very closely for reactions to the chemo and because I had so many bad like cancer cells in my body and so once those start to die they start to release all those toxins into your bloodstream and that can create really serious complications. And they said we have to watch you for this and and I just said you know I just I believe I remember we we prayed this over that I would have all of the benefits and none of the side effects and we would pray that before every infusion and I went through every infusion and I had no sign of any complications from those cells releasing those toxins in my body. Yes and I was able to go home and I had I did not get COVID. I was not exposed to COVID I was able to go home and I was able to be with my children and here I am you know seven years later after being through the aggressive form more than once and now I'm on the other side and I'm able to share with others my story of how the Lord walked me through that and gave me the strength and the joy and faith to walk through it and had me be able to hold on to that hope that he knew where I was where I was at when I was at you know when I was there to be able to hold me through that.
SPEAKER_01Jenna thank you for for just sharing everything you've shared with us. I would love to hear the joy reflex I I just love and I can imagine that he gave you that that name right oh yes oh yes I never heard that before and it just I've never heard it before either I'm like I'm just thinking of somebody just sitting on you know like in the doctor's office when you're a little kid and they're hitting you with a little mallet.
SPEAKER_02Yes.
SPEAKER_01It's like okay you know the lies are coming with a mallet but you get to like come back with joy I just love that picture. As we were talking to I just I when I'm talking to people I often hear songs and I was thinking of the song Firm Foundation
you know that song I love that song yes I thought of that you know over your journey but so as you you've come through and you're you're on the other side here how are you doing first of all second of all how are you walking alongside others now that you're on the other side as well I'm doing better than I was before the transplant and now I'm I'm on the other side of it which would they call that survivorship but I really have been dealing with graph versus host disease and so I've been in taking medications for that and continuing to see doctors for that and just continuing to believe that I am completely free of graph versus host disease and that my body is normal and is healthy and is strong.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Now for those who don't know because I I honestly don't really know a lot about you said graph versus host disease. Can you share with those who are wondering because I'm you know I'm a curious girl like just a little bit of like what that means.
SPEAKER_00Sure. So I had a it's called an allogenic stem cell transplant meaning I had a donor so sometimes you can have stem cell transplants where they take your own stem cells and they basically filter them and put them back inside of you. And I did not have that I had the one where I had a donor so a completely different person's stem cells were infused into my body and it was my brother he was my donor and so when you do that the host which is me doesn't like things like foreign bodies or things that it doesn't recognize and so as much as they try to mitigate it at some point those donor cells have to take over and sometimes parts of the body don't like that and they try to fight against it mainly with inflammation. So it specifically can get in it can get all over but the skin the gut and the liver and the eyes are the big areas that they watch and the lungs too and it with my case specifically the liver and the eyes are the areas that I have been most impacted. So for my eyes my eyes don't produce tears anymore. So yes so it feels when I wake up in the morning it feels like just like I got soap in my eye just that burning acidic feeling because they're so dry. So I wear these hard hard plastic lenses that I put in and take out with a plunger because they suction the water to my eye and yes like all day you wear it? Yes. I if I don't have them in my eyes are closed because I'm in a severe amount of pain. Oh so yes so I am doing medications for that I do IV infusions every other week and he told me he's like there's only about a 10% chance that these help with your eyes because we've seen that this is permanent once it happens and I said you know what I can be one of the 10 and I'm I love your faith. So I said I'm doing it and he goes well and then he told me he's like I want you to know that we have to watch your pancreatic enzymes because they can go up and I said no I said they can but I'm just believing mine will be normal and he called me the other day and he goes your enzymes are still normal and I said I know they are of course they are you are just giving them such a dose of like super faith well I I hope that that that he shows through me. You know what I'm saying? Like I want him to show through yes yes can't help it yes as far as the ways that I'm I'm showing up for people without a physical book yet on my website ginnashute.com which is just firstname last name.com I offer free devotionals for anyone who's interest interested and I do those every month and that I share stories of how the Lord showed up in my life and how people can apply that to their own life. And I also have all my socials on there if people want to follow and then I do a weekly YouTube
live to discuss that week's devotional and really my goal is to promote a sense of community through others that are going through these difficult challenges and that we can show up for each other and share what God has done in our own lives and how that that can be such a blessing just that testimony into others.
SPEAKER_01Wow I just love your heart and I will be sure to add all of Jenna's contact information in the show notes if you didn't catch that. So head to the show notes if you need her info please reach out to her and follow her. She's amazing and I would love for you to share just as we close today I I I shared before with you like I do this for the one. So if you could just kind of get in mind somebody who's listening in today are there any other words of encouragement or words of wisdom that you'd want to speak over this person and then would you pray us out today? Oh I would love that. Yes. Thank you.
SPEAKER_00I would say if there's somebody listening who is in their own circumstance that feels like they don't know how to get out. They don't know how to survive in it and they don't know how to get out of it. But I have been there and I can encourage you by saying that faith and hope and peace are not fragile when they are anchored in the Lord. And it may feel some days like you're running towards him or you're walking towards him or you are being dragged towards him but keep bringing those real things to him keep taking those next faithful steps because that middle ground is not wasted and the Lord of hope is just standing right beside you holding your hand and walking you through to the other side yes thank you what a blessing well thank you so much Jenna you are such a brave voice and is setting so many free and thank you for releasing so much hope here today.
SPEAKER_01I'm gonna close with our anchoring verse it's may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. And that's Romans 1513. So thank you Jenna I appreciate you coming on today and sharing your heart with us like I said you are just a beautiful one and I appreciate you for sharing your heart today. So thank you. I will be back with another episode next week. Thanks listeners.
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