Maria: Three-Day Labor Resulting in C-Section, VBAC and the Role of Fitness in Childbirth and Postpartum

What if I told you that the journey of childbirth, as unpredictable as it might be, can be transformed into a learning experience that empowers and enlightens? Join us this week as we journey through the rollercoaster of pregnancy and childbirth with Maria. Through her unique insights and candid storytelling, Maria narrates her transformation from an anxious first-time mother into a resilient woman, determined to learn and educate others about the realities of childbirth.

Brace yourself as we delve into a riveting narrative about a three-day labor experience that challenged the boundaries of endurance and resilience. Our brave guest sheds light on her aspirations for a natural birth, the unexpected hurdles she faced, and the cascade of interventions that marked her birthing journey. Maria underscores the importance of scar tissue release for subsequent pregnancies and how past trauma can cast a shadow over these pivotal moments in life.

As we conclude this episode, we explore how fitness and preparation can impact the journey of pregnancy and postpartum recovery. Join us as we delve into the Restore Your Core and Body-Ready Method programs, highlighting their role in supporting the ever-changing body of a pregnant woman. We wrap up by inviting you to our Golden Hour Birth Circle on Facebook, a community where we continue these essential conversations, offer support, and celebrate the golden journey of motherhood. Join us next week for more enlightening discussions and remember, you're golden!

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

The Golden Hour Birth Podcast, a podcast about real birth stories and creating connections through our shared experiences. Childbirth isn't just about the child. It's about the person who gave birth, their lives, their wisdom and their empowerment. We're Liz and Natalie, the Golden Hour Birth Podcast, and we're here to laugh with you, cry with you and hold space for you. Welcome to the Golden Hour Birth Podcast. I am your co-host, Liz, and I'm your co-host, Natalie, and tonight we have Maria from St Louis on.

Speaker 2: 0:34

Thanks so much for joining us tonight. Thank you so much. I'm happy to be here. Yeah, so, if you want to go ahead and tell our listeners a little bit about you and your family, yeah so, I'm multi-passionate, I do lots of different things, but I think having children and having pregnancies kind of helped funnel me towards a specific direction. We have, like this sort of underabundance of information At least to me there was this underabundance of information particularly for pregnancy and birth and postpartum that I just felt was missing. And I went into my first birth thinking that well, I'll just this will be something that will come naturally, something that something will click with me and it'll just be like regular everyday life where there's going to be a transition, but I'm going to be able to see the other side pretty quickly, and it didn't really work out that way. So I had to learn a lot between the first and the second birth and then, of course, after I had my second child, I really dove into movement, specifically for pregnancy, birth and recovery. Wow, and then I also do like.

Speaker 2: 2:21

So you know, I was, I was I've done multiple things. So I was working as a writer and an editor when even a teacher. So I was teaching college courses and you know, I thought I needed to do things that were more sort of mainstream, even though I had, like a very creative spirit and I thought that the best thing for me to do would just be like sort of like stick to like the paved pathways and I did like corporate work and I was sitting down a lot and it didn't really satisfy my need to move. I like to move throughout the day and I like to move between buildings. Even so, being in the same building was very unproductive for me, but thankfully, some time you know, years later I realized that I'm just going to be me, I'm going to be weird and I'm going to reincorporate astrology back into my life, and so I also do astrology and human design. I love Pesoterics.

Speaker 2: 3:31

I did do a yoga teacher training back in 2012, before I even had my children, and I learned about the subtle bodies and my yoga teacher. I love her, beth Spindler. She's in Springfield, missouri. She was probably one of the best practitioners for like, specifically for getting into the subtle bodies. So I've not had any any experience that even paralleled Beth's experience for leading us from movement into Shavasana, so like strict relaxation and even having like the experience of getting into the more subtle bodies.

Speaker 2: 4:15

So unfortunately, when I was pregnant, or specifically in childbirth, my first birth I didn't was not able to apply that relaxation because it was never connected specifically to pregnancy and childbirth. So we did, we did do a postnatal like few or it was a few weekends. It might have even been one weekend where we did like postnatal yoga and prenatal yoga, but it really didn't cover much Like. By the time I was done with those weekends I was like I still don't know what to do with a pregnant body. Yeah, they love a pregnant body, one of my classes. I don't know what I would do, so very sort of lackluster and you did those when you were pregnant.

Speaker 2: 5:13

You said yeah well, it was right before I got pregnant, oh, so a few years before. In hindsight, a few years seems like right before. But so you know, like I had, like this tremendous experience with being able to get into a very relaxed state and to even, you know, alter consciousness to, you know embrace, you know pain or something that would take you a little bit out of your helmet. But by the time, you know, I was in chocolate and childbirth I it's like it was like I was like a blank slate, I didn't know how to apply any of that. So so it was really tough, because I think that you know, there's this sort of like I said underwhelming, or I was in an underabundance of information for movement and even relaxation techniques, at least to me. I didn't have access to those sort of specific trainings while I was undergoing pregnancy and childbirth. So in my experience, both pregnancies and childbirth experiences were wildly different, and I know that that can translate to a lot of people, but they're just wildly different.

Speaker 2: 6:40

And you know, even, I know, even if I would have had a third one which is not going to happen, I'm done. But if you know, if I would have a third one, I know that one would be completely different too. So there's something about you know that, you know that total wild card where you can't really prepare for the experience enough. But I do think that I was in this place where I wish I could have prepared better for the first, and even though I prepared a little bit better for the second, I still think that I was in a place where I couldn't really have the best experience. You know at least me. So, yeah, I feel like that's a lot of us are like I wish I had known that.

Speaker 1: 7:30

But yeah, it's like an overall experience that you're like I messed out a little bit on.

Speaker 2: 7:38

Yeah, exactly, I mean, I still do like, I'll still, you know. So I'll get into my first, my first experience. So when I was pregnant with my oldest high I don't think I was prepared even for the first trimester which, like, sat me down. I'd be like, oh, I'm going to do this and this and this today, and then I would get up and I was so nauseous and so exhausted that I could barely move. I was like I don't know if I could have prepared for this. It was just. Which is an experience. It sat me down.

Speaker 2: 8:17

I was like I, you know, I understood that we are in a very dense physical body and being pregnant exacerbated that feeling. I mean, I, you know, astrologically, I'm like I have a preponderance of hair and so I don't want to be weighed down, I want to be on the move. So, and you're such a shock because suddenly I was like I can no longer be on the moon and I had what I call like a bionic nose. So everything smelled horrible to me. Everything Like, I mean do like antiperspirant is still a casualty. I never reincorporated, reincorporated antiperspirant into my life because it was the worst smelling thing. I was just like how, how do we allow this into our world? Okay, so many like my husband's body wash. It was the worst smelling stuff. Now this is the biggest from like a drugstore. It was awful, like I would. I would be like, well, I got to take a shower and then I was like I don't want to, I all I want to do is lay down. But I got to take a shower because I got to go to work and would get in the shower and then immediately the water would hit the bathtub, the spray would hit the bathtub and that body wash would just come into my nose. It wasn't even mine right, but I could smell it. It was horrible and I would start crying because I was like this is the worst smell in the world. And so, just, it was such a shunk. I mean, it was like I couldn't even imagine that all of my senses would, the experience of my senses, would change how I experienced life, just regular everyday life.

Speaker 2: 10:15

So after the first trimester got easier, you know, second trimester was much easier. Third trimester was really tough because I could barely move. You know it was just like, but I was looking forward to the birth and I was. I was excited because we had just moved to Kansas City and in Springfield there was no birth center that I could use with, like, my insurance. You know, it was all out of pocket. There was one birth center in Springfield, but it was all out of pocket.

Speaker 2: 10:53

So when we moved to Kansas City I was like, oh, a birth center, I can have a natural birth. And I was like, oh, I'm so excited about this. I mean, that's, that would be a nice change to look forward to. There would be midwives and I wouldn't have to deal with with an OBGYN, I wouldn't have to. And I was very excited. I was like I can eat during labor and like just little things like that.

Speaker 2: 11:22

And so, you know, labor began right, really pretty much right on my due date. I lost my mucus plug and then, you know, labor kind of started and it progressed from there. And I think that I made that sort of like rookie mistake where I was like I just need to get to the birth center because I'm in labor and I think they sent me back home. They were like, no, you're not, you're not, you're not ready to be here, you can labor at home. And I remember the midwife telling this was this was Friday evening. So, you know, I sort of notified the midwives that I, you know, labor started. My parents had come, my mom was keeping track of my contractions. They were regular, they were manageable, but I was like I don't want to be at home. I just I feel like I want to be in a labor space. And I remember the midwives like no, you need to labor at home because you're not ready to be here yet. We would put you in triage if you came here. And I remember her specifically telling my husband just go to sleep. Right, so he did, he went to sleep.

Speaker 2: 12:42

I stayed up that whole night, you know, as the contractions kept getting more and more intense. And you know, I, I, I, I labor. That whole night I managed the pain by getting into my shower and, you know, just having having the warm water hit me and I remember I was singing, like I found a note that kind of hit me right, but I knew I could handle and I and I sang through contraction and I think five in the morning came around and I was like I don't want to be alone anymore and so I woke my husband up and we went to the, we went back to the birthing center. My parents met us there and I labored all day there. In fact, I was trained to even recall that second night. I don't remember the second night, but I was up. I was up for a second night. I labored that entire day. I was popped for an entire second night, wow, and went into a third day. So I was in labor for three days.

Speaker 2: 14:01

The midwife was somebody I I didn't know at all. She was the one that I never saw and she really had this sort of wait and see approach. You know, nobody, nobody, including myself, knew why I was laboring that long and we tried everything the Foley catheter. That third day she even broke. She broke my water. There were, there were a number of number of, like you know, little natural interventions that we attempted, but every, every time that we did a check. And then, of course, we did a cervical check, mostly like during a contraction, and that was unbelievably painful.

Speaker 2: 14:49

And you know, at that point I was just like, well, I don't know any better, I don't know, I didn't know you could consent to something like that and you could say no, and so it really kind of put even at the time I didn't recognize, but it put sort of a personality quirk of mine up like under their microscope, where, you know, I'm like this. I have this people pleasing tendency. I didn't realize that that would be such a big deal during her labor, but it was. So whatever the midwife told me to do was like. To me she was like a drill sergeant and I just followed her orders and you know, I just knew it.

Speaker 2: 15:32

One way that I needed to relax and she wanted me to do lunges. But I was like, well, she's the expert, so I'm just going to do what she tells me to do. And she wouldn't let me stay in the tub. You know, the tub was where I felt like I could actually manage the contractions and she was like, no, I don't want you in the tub, she's like, but you can't get into the shower. So there's just little things like that where she really wanted me to be as active as possible and, mind you, I'd been up for two nights straight laboring.

Speaker 2: 16:03

So by the time it all say that again. Were you progressing at all? No see, that's the thing. I wasn't. I never progressed past a five. Oh, wow, so I was. I was dilated to a five and I never progressed past that. Nobody knew, including myself. We didn't know what was going on, but we were going into the third night and by then it was with.

Speaker 2: 16:30

The last intervention that they could do for me was castor oil. So I drank castor oil and yogurt and stuff, and then I, I, I started to feel like I had to poop. So every time I would have a contraction, I would run to the bathroom, throw my robe off, like, okay, I think I'm going to poop, and it never happened. So, um, but that, being in the bathroom, that was the only place that I was totally alone. There were always people around. It's funny. I didn't want to be alone and then suddenly I did. I've driven you know three days in Um and. But that was really helpful, because by the time I got into the bathroom like every time I would run into the bathroom, I was alone and it was like my there was a voice that started to speak to me. It was like that you're not going to have this baby here, like it's not going to happen here, you're not going to meet this child here, um, and I didn't really quite understand why I was hearing this voice.

Speaker 2: 17:37

But I got to this boy where I was like I feel like I need to get myself out of here and um, you know, of course the alternative was the hospital. But I was just like, well, okay, I need to get to the hospital, I'll get to the hospital. So I had, you know, the nurse came in and I told her I need the midwife. You know, I feel like I need to leave. And she said, okay, well, she's napping. I said, okay, well, just grab her because I don't think I can stay here another night. I was going into my third night, probably no sleep, and, um, she, she, you know, well, the midwife in, you know, the midwife released, released us, went to the hospital and then, of course, the hospital. There was like this cascade of interventions, you know Ptosan, and then you know they are epidural.

Speaker 2: 18:33

I did an epidural. In fact, I begged for an epidural. By the time I got there, I was, I was begging, I said I cannot, I cannot go another night without sleeping. So I, you know, I beg for that epidural. And I remember the the epidural technician was a resident and so it was kind of new. And he was, he was asking me, he was, you know, he's like he grabbed the ice cubes and he was like, can you feel this? Well, he was rubbing it around around my, my stomach, and I said, yes, yes, I can feel it. But he was like, are you sure? I was like, yes, I can feel it, I can feel the ice cube on my, on my skin. So you're going to go in again, do the do the whole procedure again. And then, yeah, so you know, after, after a certain amount of time with Ptosan, the baby's heart rate started decelerating. The surgeon busted into the room and she was like we're going to do a C-section, and so that's what happened.

Speaker 2: 19:42

So I ended up having a C-section and you know, while while I was under and they were, you know, doing the procedure, they were very chatty. It was a very chatty room and they were, they were all kind of saying reasons why I didn't. I wouldn't be able to burr the vaginally, and of course one of the reasons was, well, her pelvis is too small, the baby's too big. Another reason was, oh, I can't remember, but that was one that really kind of stuck out to me. You know of all of the chatter. They were like, well, your pelvis is actually not big enough. And then when they talked to you they were talking about me while I was stuffing you on the table and you just had the epidural, like you weren't knocked out or anything, were you? No, they were just epidural. So once they decided they were going to do the C-section, of course they helped sort of the intensity of the epidural because, you know, then it becomes surgery. So they did, they got reprepped for the C-section and everything. But this group was particularly chatty while I was in there and they in fact I didn't even know it was much, much later, so fast forward a little bit of time where you know I'd had the baby.

Speaker 2: 21:19

I felt like it felt like I had all this air sort of in between my, you know, like my low belly, and I was like I mentioned it to my husband. I was like it feels like I have this like air trapped in there or something. And he was like he's like Maria, they took your guts out. They took your guts out and they put them on a table. And then I was like hold on, hold on, wait a minute. They took my guts out, he's like yeah. And I said no, no, no, that was the placenta. I had no idea. They didn't even tell me. And he's like no, he's like Maria, that was your guts. They took them out, they put them on a table. And then, you know, they did, they took the baby out and they, you know the placenta came out later. But so it's just little things like that. I didn't know that. They never prompted me. Oh, we're going to do this, we're going to do that. They just did what they do. And you know, I remember the warning. They were like you're going to feel a little pressure when they were taking the baby out. And you know, I felt that I felt the pressure. So that was the one thing I felt, like they sort of prepped me for.

Speaker 2: 22:34

And then, of course, you know I could tell when they took the baby out, the baby had a few words for the surgeon and for this surgeon's assistant, I remember, because I was like I couldn't see anything. It was one of those curtain epidurals, not the family friendly one, so I was like listening as intently as I could. I was like I don't, you know, is she going to cry? Is this going to be a you know situation? She didn't, she never cried. It was not anything that was alarming in any way, but she did have a couple of things that she said. One sound to the surgeon, one sound to the surgeon's assistant was so interesting. It was almost like she was speaking to them in defiance and I was like it makes sense now that I kind of know her personality. But yeah, I was. It was such an oh, and one of the things that they said oh, she's a chunker. That was like the first thing that they said. I remember they were like she's a chunker.

Speaker 2: 23:38

And then one of the things they said was that she went in crooked. So she was in my pelvis crooked. So they sort of got into more specifics. They said one half of your cervix was dilated, the other half was not dilated at all and so that would make sense if she went in crooked. So case in clinic then that she, she wasn't in, so there was one part of her head that was actually hitting the cervix and then she also had a hand in her mouth.

Speaker 2: 24:15

So there were a few things that were working against us here but nobody knew. Nobody knew what was happening and I was just like thinking I was like I had this horrible luck, Like I was, I was having the longest labor that anyone could really have and nobody knew. So my midwife didn't know, nobody on my team knew, including myself. I didn't even know that that was something that I mean, I knew I had some inkling of like spinning babies and, you know, creating space, and I remember doing the mild circuit beforehand, but I just don't think I was prepared for that knowledge or even that experience of understanding what happens when the baby's not in an optimal position. So she, she wasn't and she did, she had her, she had her hand in her mouth and in fact she had bruises bruising on her lips when she was. But yeah, she didn't cry or anything. She just had a few sounds like sounds of defiance for the surgeon and the surgeon's assistant.

Speaker 2: 25:27

And you know, of course they took her, they, you know they, they fixed her up, they want, they wiped her off and they got her dressed and then, finally, my husband was able to bring her over to me. He put her right up next to my face and it was I. I saw her and I said something to her. I don't really remember what I said to her, but I could see in her eyes that she knew who I was, what she heard my boys and it was the sweetest thing ever. And then, of course, they took her away again and I was shaking. I was shaking like a band, you know, like abandoned. I was just like I could not stop shaking. But as soon as he brought her over, I stopped shaking. And then, of course, when he took her, when he had to take her away again, I started shaking again. The only thing I really wanted to do was hold her. And then they were like, absolutely not, we have to get you sutured, and everything.

Speaker 2: 26:21

So it was like one of those experiences where I was just like one thing led to another and I sort of I I don't begrudge what the experience, but I just knew that it could have been so much better and I am such an information, um hungry person that, um, I just knew that I was underprepared, and in fact, not just myself, but even the team that I had. They just, they weren't even sure what to do with me, and, um, you know, I, I was. I felt so, um, I know I, I know it wasn't necessarily an oddball experience, but I felt like such an oddball because it seemed, like most people that I talked to my mother and her friends and other friends of mine that had babies it didn't seem like they had such such a hard time with their first labor. So I, I was like, is something wrong with me? Did I miss a few steps here? Um, so, just having that experience was, um, so eye-opening, because there were a few things that I, I started to kind of piece together, knowing that she was in there crooked.

Speaker 2: 27:51

I sort of had this, this feeling that, well, my, there must be something in my pelvis, why my pelvis wasn't, you know, I didn't have this even pelvis, um, and, and then my nervous system. I knew my nervous system was, was a mess, but I didn't know why, though, so I had no idea why, um, I know that, um, you know, birth, birth in a hospital, even in a birth center, like once you're really around anyone anyone it could be, you know, your doula. Even that becomes like an intervention and if your nervous system is not sort of resilient, um, for whatever reason, then even the presence of that person can just take you out of you know, the birth, the, the, the birth focus that you need to be in. So, you know, at that time I I really knew, knew very little about my nervous system. Um, so I, I have, I have a background, so I, I survived sexual abuse as a child and, um, you know, I I dealt with it, right If I did therapy, but I did talk therapy and that's like one of those things that I learned much later that you have to have, you have to get into the body.

Speaker 2: 29:28

You know, it's like post-hero around 2020, it was like the body, the body keeps the score, main, the right. So I had my first birth in 2014 and my second one in 2017. So I was just like well, now I understand why, maybe even nervous system wise, why my body was illiquid for something, for an event like birth, because I never actually got into my body to sort of ex-givvy the trauma that I had experienced as a child. So and that's an ongoing thing, but I do, I do know that when it comes to childbirth, pregnancy, even, um, that any any nervous nervous system maladjustment, um can really affect the outcome of birth. Of course, I had no idea that that would even come to be in my first birth, um.

Speaker 2: 30:32

So, you know, recovery with her was was pretty easy, however, not easy, um it's. It seemed like it as time went on. I mean, I was recovering from a C-section Okay, you know, that's just really painful, um, I had low supply, so I wanted to breastfeed. I had low supply and at that time I didn't know that you could combo feed. And so the first time I saw her getting formula and seeing her like, just take that down, like it, you know, I was like, oh my God, my child is hungry and maybe I should just do formula because there's not enough milk, you know. So, um, so I I'd we breastfed for a few months and then she switched to formula. I didn't know you could combo feed, um, I learned that the second time around and um, so it seemed like it was pretty straightforward recovering from her or from her birth Um.

Speaker 2: 31:33

However, I knew nothing about scar tissue release, so I had no idea that that's a thing, that when you have a C-section, that you should go in and try to massage and, you know, break up some scar tissue and things, and you know that's and it's never too late, you know. So if, if, if someone is like, well, I had a C-section, like 10 years ago and I never did scar tissue release, you can go in and do it. It's not, it's not a big deal, um, but if it is, it is something that you want to add to your repertoire of things to do because it's so important, um, it can. You know, the scar tissue can create adhesions and it could, you know, latch on to other organs and it can affect subsequent pregnancies, and which I do, I suspect it. It did.

Speaker 2: 32:28

Um affects my um, you know, my, my, my birth. So I ended up with a V-back the the second time around. I'm so proud of that V-back. I was like I was determined to fix the imbalance of my pelvis Um and I.

Speaker 2: 32:49

So when I got pregnant with my second um it was probably, it wasn't so I had a very sedentary job with that one, which I know reflected me I ended up with some pubic symphosis, pain, so it was like one of those things where I couldn't, you know, my pubic bone hurt all the time and I knew it was because I was sitting a lot and the aesthetics of this workplace were was kind of ridiculous. It was like everything had to look the same. They were like you absolutely cannot sit on a birth ball. Even the lactation room that they put in it had to look like the rest of the place, so you couldn't even have like a comfy chair. It was like this. It had to look like there was like a chair. That had to look like it was anywhere else in the building. I mean, it was. It was ridiculous. But um, yeah, I digress, but they.

Speaker 2: 33:49

So I was very sedentary. I know that that affected me, but I know it was. I think I was 30 or 32 weeks pregnant when all of a sudden I could tell my child was hiccuping upward and suddenly downward and I was just like, oh no, I was like I cannot have a breech baby, I am determined to do a B-Bag. So I started doing a chiropractic work at that point, webster technique and I was doing prenatal yoga. So I was. I wasn't teaching it, I was taking it, and so I was. I was doing that to prepare my body for the, for the birth, and I think that that helped a ton.

Speaker 2: 34:35

The one, the one thing that I swear by was the prenatal massages, because I knew I knew this was even before. I knew I still had trauma in my body. I knew that I needed to down, regulate my nervous system and relax, because that was the one thing that I couldn't do with my first, couldn't actually relax between contractions, and I was. I was like this I had my shoulders up to my ears, like everything that you, everything that you do to present a tense body I was doing in my first yeah, don't. I knew I was like I have to do something to relax my nervous system and I did these prenatal massages regularly, like every other week. That's awesome, good for you, and I would leave work and I would do the 90 minutes. Oh my.

Speaker 1: 35:30

God Wasn't it.

Speaker 2: 35:32

I'm doing this, yeah, and I would get so relaxed and it would. It reminded me of my yoga teacher training, with, with, with best, the way she would get us into our subtle body, so so my ability to get that sort of get into that meditative state that I cultivated during my yoga teacher training, that's what I was doing on the massage table, and so I didn't do that myself because, probably the trauma, I just couldn't do it myself, so I needed someone else. And that's when, too, it's like I didn't even realize, like I even that is a myth that we sort of have to dispel. You don't have to do it yourselves. You can get other people to assist you, especially if you kind of know what you need. I know a lot of people are coming into this experience and they don't even know what they need, and I was certainly that way in my first, even the second, I mean I. I know now I can sort of tick these little blind spots that I had even with the second. But, yeah, I would get so deeply relaxed and that's that. That was exactly what I needed, because when I went into labor they were trying to get me to schedule a C-section, because they were like your, your, your, your geriatric, pregnant, you've had a C-section, so why don't we just schedule a C-section Again, you know, and so that was. I remember when the doctor called, I happened to be in the shower and think, thankfully I missed that call, because I probably I was still in my people pleasing phase and I probably would have been like I wouldn't have been able to say no, and then I would have been like scheduled for a C-section against my will, because that's just where I was. And so when I so thankfully I missed that phone call, I didn't even return the call and I went into labor three days after. So I was 40 days and or 40 weeks of three days, and I had to go to the doctor to do it ultrasound, because that's what they'd schedule. And of course, at that, at that time I was like, well, I guess I have to do this right Because it's what they scheduled.

Speaker 2: 38:09

And so, right when we pulled up into the parking lot at the doctor's office, my, I got out of the car, my water broke. So my water was, it was bright, it was like leaking out of me. We went up to the you know doctor and there was like hemionic fluid just leaking everywhere. So they, you know they put me right into the hospital and if I would have known, you know that I would have gone 18 hours without a meal. No, it was 24 hours. 24 hours Because I, before we, we went to the, to the doctor, but I didn't eat again after that Because, of course, you can't eat when you're in the hospital. So I stayed.

Speaker 2: 38:59

I ended up staying at the hospital. You know they put me up in the labor delivery and you know it was it was. I thought they were V-back friendly, but really they were V-back tolerant, meaning that there were certain policies that they had to follow. And of course, you know, once I was in the room, somebody came in and they said you need to be on the monitors, so we're going to have to strap you in. And I said okay, if you're going to strap me in, then I'm going to do an epidural, because there's no point in me being stuck to a bed feeling every single contraction. So I ended up doing an epidural there.

Speaker 2: 39:42

And then, once, once I stalled at a five a freak town a little bit because I was like, no, this is maybe this is my lot in life. I'm going to be stuck at a five and I'm going to be laid to bed for three days. So they put a toast in, of course. Then the toast in. I was like, even even on the epidural I could feel those contractions. But I had that ability to, I had cultivated that ability to relax in between contractions and I think that's what saved me.

Speaker 1: 40:18

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 40:20

Thankfully they did have a peanut ball and there was a really sort of a friendly nurse who was pregnant herself, who kept changing positions, helping me change position, and the funny thing was that there was one position where I really started to progress. It was on my side and I, so my, I had one light up on the peanut ball and I at this point in time I'm sort of analyzing because I know now was like, was my hip an extra or was? Was I an external rotation? Was it extended, like these are all things that I learned afterwards. But there was one position in particular where the I progressed like so steadily it was, and I I think it's called flying cowgirl, but most people don't do that correctly, so I was probably doing like this incorrect version of flying, flying cowgirl, and that's what. That's what progressed labor.

Speaker 2: 41:24

And then when, when I, when I was completely dilated, completely effaced, because it was like seven in the morning, so I had labored all night, and then the doc you know the nurse like notified the doctor, she's, you know, she's ready. She had me push once and it seemed like the baby would come in, like a few pushes. So he said, okay, let's just have her down labor because he was coming in to the clinic at nine, so we're so. We were on the doctor's schedule at this point because he was just waiting to get to the clinic, so they had me down labor and then I ended up pushing for like an hour and 45 minutes, which I've heard is not that bad, but but to me it was. It was horrible. It was so long because of the purple pushing. Yeah.

Speaker 1: 42:23

Where you know how long those minutes go by, like when you're, those minutes are just like turtle minutes, right, they're horrible.

Speaker 2: 42:32

And then hold your breath and then hack so on your back, closing the safe room, you know. And then that's when I realized too that I didn't know this at the time, but I knew after that I had a tight public floor because it seemed like the baby was going to come out at one or two pushes, but got held up and and then I did tear a little bit on one of those pushes. I was purple, pushing with an epidural, so I couldn't even really feel, but I did feel when it tore, though that was what's really interesting I could feel it tearing. But I do attribute that to not doing my scar tissue release, because it sort of pulled up all of the tissue on that in that area, so on the right side, and so I suspect that I might have tore because of that but never had done the scar tissue release. So there were just certain things like physical things that you know. I knew that I didn't have the information afforded to me at that time and then, of course, once I had the experience, I was like, well, these things didn't add up, and then recovery was much harder with him because I was older and much more tired and same thing, low milk supply. So I was freaking out because I was like you know, I don't think I ever really produced more than 12 ounces a day. It was just something that had I don't know. I don't even. I still don't know what the underlying reason for that was. But I was seeing a lactation consultant that said, oh, you can just breastfeed and then give it 12 ounces of formula afterwards. And I was just like he was the best thing, because I was just like okay, so I ended up breastfeeding him for a year and a half. So I was so and I was so proud of that because I was like that's exactly what I wanted to do.

Speaker 2: 44:51

And in fact I had to leave my job because they were I requested at the end of my maternity leave. I requested, I said, can I, can I stay home Because I have low supply and I know that if I come back that I will I might lose all of the work that I did and it was so it was such profoundly hard work. That was probably the hardest I'd ever worked in my life, because it was like night and day. Where I had to it was breastfeed and then pump and then bottle feed. It was all of that. It was all of that at once, every single.

Speaker 2: 45:30

Even at the 12 week mark, when, when you, you know, returning, when I was supposed to be returning back to work, and they said, well, no, we, we never negotiated that. When you were hired, they said we have a lactation room. I said listen, but no, no, the room's there and that's great, but I was like I can't have the room. I need the baby, the only way that this is going to continue. And so they basically they were like, well, they basically made me quit, they kind of forced me out. I said I said I have to. I said I have to do this because I know it's good for the baby and I know it's good for my own health if I continue breastfeeding.

Speaker 2: 46:18

So that was another one of those things where I was just like had this like sort of exposure to the, to the various systems that work against us, that you have no idea. You have no idea that you would ever meet that resistance. And so you know, I, I was dealing with a lot at that time, not just you know for that, in the, the, the healthcare system, also the judicial system where we were dealing with that. So it was just a number of things where I was just like there's, there's way too much no-transcript, just even administratively, that I'm having to deal with here, that someone who just gave birth should not have to deal with. You know, right, the social worker that comes into the room to issue the birth certificate, like they had no idea what was going on. I mean, I could barely stay awake. I'd been up for 24 hours but with no food, right.

Speaker 2: 47:29

So it was just, it was such a ridiculous experience, you know, birthing in the hospital. I felt really supported in so many ways and I was very happy that I had the V-BAC, but also it was so there were so many obstacles and so many hopes to jump through. So it was, you know, I would never recommend it to anyone really. But they'd be like, oh, I mean I would never deter somebody from that decision. I support anyone's decision on what they do. But if somebody were to say, maria, would you recommend a hospital birth, I would say absolutely not, or even a birth center birth. I would be like, well, you need to make sure that your team sort of has, you know, one foot in the year that we're in Like some updated skills, because I couldn't believe, with what I know now, that my midwife had no idea that the baby was in a less than optimal position. And let me labor for three days.

Speaker 2: 48:50

When did you transfer care from the Springfield to Kansas City? Well, we had moved, so it was third trimester, though. So I was in my third trimester Because we were in Springfield, but then my husband's daughter he has a daughter and her daughter, her daughter's, his daughter's mother got diagnosed with breast cancer and so we decided to go up to Kansas City to help her get through that. Sure, and I mean I loved, I loved living in Kansas City. So that was kind of like I was like, oh sure, yeah, let's go, and I still leave. Into this day, I'm like I still love to live in there. There was one of my favorite places still in, and in fact I was born there, so it's fun. So my daughter and I were born in the same, in the same place not the same hospital, but in the same place. That's sweet. I love Kansas.

Speaker 1: 49:52

City too yeah.

Speaker 2: 49:53

Did you like have a doula with that birth center? No, no, I couldn't afford one. So I have no doubt that having a doula might have helped, but I still think that unless somebody knew that the position of the baby, that it still would have been just as hard as it was. You know, I experienced this amazing trait. So after I had my second, I had been sort of following. So I'd been following this person called Katie Bowman and she's a biomechanist and she was covering topics like diastasis, you know, the separation of the six-pack muscles and things like that. But I appealed to me as somebody with a movement background and thankfully she shared an account I think it was an Instagram account of somebody who had done the training with Katie Bowman. And then this person ended up being like, really into she was a doula, she's a doula, so she was really into preparing the body for pregnancy, or at least moving in a way that was specific to pregnancy, and she had a baby not that long after I had mine. So I was really interested in her content. I would watch her content a lot and really after I had my first, I was kind of eager to get back into exercise as soon as I could and I was really kind of fearless. I didn't think really there was anything I needed to watch out for. However, when I had my second, I was not fearless. I suspected that I had a diastasis but I never got diagnosed and in fact I still haven't got diagnosed Ended up with a hernia a few years after I had my last child, an umbilical hernia. And even though I was trained as a Restore your Core teacher so that was my first training that I did that was specific towards so basically, restore your Core is for the postpartum body. And then so thankfully that was an online program and when I was feeling like I really I was, I was afraid to do really anything, I didn't do anything. I didn't do yoga, I didn't do, you know, like regular sort of conventional fitness. I did nothing, I was. I didn't walk, I did walk.

Speaker 2: 52:50

I remember walking with my child and I knew I was familiar enough with Katie Bowman that I was like I'm going to try to hand carry my child. So I did so. I was, I would. We would go for little walks and I would carry him on my horse. I used to carry him with my first child and she loved that. We would walk over Kansas City in the carrier. But I was very fearless with her after I had her. But I was.

Speaker 2: 53:22

I was very reticent when I'd had my son because I knew something was wrong with my core but I didn't know what and I never got a diagnosis. And when I tried to get a diagnosis it was shoot away, like this person was like I said I suspect I have a diastasis because my back hurts and it constipated and I just feel really weak in my core. And then she was like well, I suppose we could do an ultrasound, but I don't really want to do that. She's like just wait a few more weeks and see if it gets better, maybe you'll poop again. So it was like one of those things where I was just like and I sort of knew at that point I was like well, I was familiar with Katie Bowman, I had been following Lindsay McCoy, so Lindsay McCoy and Lauren was partners with Lauren O'Han.

Speaker 2: 54:16

Lauren O'Han is the one who created the Restore your Core program. So as soon as I, they were working on a pregnancy program, but they released it at the time that I had my son. So you know, of course it was too late. But then as soon as I realized that there was a postpartum program, then I did that. I bought that program pretty quickly and I did that religiously, like several times I did.

Speaker 2: 54:46

I went through the entire Restore your Core like a 12-week program yeah, that's awesome. And then she was training teachers and I knew immediately I was like, okay, I'm going to do that, because I felt like I could be something to someone that I needed at that time. My skills have continued to build, so not just with the postpartum program but also with preparing the body for pregnancy. So then Lindsay, so Lauren Ohay and Lizzie McCoy they partnered together. They created this program called the One Strong Mama Program, but now it's known as the body-ready method, where it's a prenatal and post-natal program for people that are just wanting to do the exercises, but then they also train practitioners. So that was something that I did as well was the body-ready method and restore your core, and it's phenomenal because it's movement that is specific to pregnancy, childbirth and recovery.

Speaker 1: 56:09

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 56:10

And things to do. Just how you stand makes a difference. Knowing how to hip hinge, just little things like that. Being able to put your joints in very specific positions, like external rotation and then internal rotation, and how each of those movements affect the position, how the pelvis is such a dynamic entity that it's not even static, so you could just even with movement, you can reposition the pelvis, you could open the inlet for specific widths, specific movements, you could open the outlet with specific movements, even the mid-pelvis, and creating the sort of supple public floor. So that's what I dove deeply into after I had mine and, of course, now my head is just filled with information that I know I was craving. Yeah, where I had my children. That's amazing.

Speaker 1: 57:27

So do you run your own course, or are you more of an entity of?

Speaker 2: 57:33

the program that they do, yeah, and so basically I use whatever I learned from that and I work usually one-to-one Classes have been much harder to get going here in St Louis. It sort of blows my mind because there's such a gap here in St Louis for the pregnant and the postpartum body, but it doesn't seem like people are really that interested in changing that. So I know here in New City there is somebody who has Lumetera method Abby, yeah, yeah, and she teaches classes and stuff here, and I'm in New City too, so she teaches classes and she's got a studio and she's got an online program, which is amazing, yeah, but really outside of that there's not much. And in fact, I was really surprised when I moved to St Louis because my husband's from here that's why we're here that I was asking around and I was asking people that have been in St Louis for a long time Are there any birth centers, like? Who can I talk to here? I know the only one is in the hospital. There's one in North County, yeah, but yeah, I know it's more like that or home birth, right.

Speaker 2: 59:09

So it's funny because my husband ran into one of his college buddies recently. He was at Blueprint getting coffee. I love that place. I did too. It's my favorite place in St Louis, one of my favorite places because it was the first place we went to when we moved here. Yeah, but he ran into an old buddy, an old college buddy, and I remember I was like waiting, waiting, waiting for coffee. He said, guess what he's like. I ran into a friend and guess what, his wife is a midwife and she has her own birth center. So I forget what it's called. I think it's called Cartard.

Speaker 2: 59:51

So, they do exist, but they're probably not as popular as maybe. So maybe we can get acquainted with very easily, and I think I'm in that position too. A lot of people don't know exactly what I do Like movement, yeah, like pregnancy and childbirth and the recovery. Every so often someone will find me and it's funny because I do less pelvic floor work than I do astrology sessions because it seems like St Louis and I love astrology. But I love astrology. I'm really getting into it. Yeah, I mean, it's amazing. I love it. I love that it is as popular as it is and more people are into it, because when I started, I started studying astrology when I was 13. And at that time it wasn't, you know, it was a very popular. Well, it was popular, but it wasn't something that you would go around saying.

Speaker 2: 1:01:01

Oh I studied astrology so I kept it sort of a secret for a long time. I would just I would not really volunteer that information, yeah, so you know I do so. I love to do the movement work because it's such, it's just an integral part of who I am. I've always done movement and I'm a body nerd. I love to know more about the body and what it can do, and thankfully we have biomechanics. We even understand the female pelvis better and really any pelvis. It's like there are so many different kinds of palaces and you can change just depending on what you do with the pelvis. You can change what the pelvis is doing too. It's like it's amazing. But then I also love astrology and human design and esoterics and so I kind of try to interweave those things. But I can't, like you know, every so often there will be someone who's like I just want to do public floor stuff and I'm like, okay, great, we can do that, we can do that. So every so often someone will come up to me like I just want to do an astrology radio, like, okay, great, we can do that. So it's to me.

Speaker 2: 1:02:21

I think they're all like self-awareness tools. Yeah, the more self-awareness you have and there's an overabundance of information for astrology, as you know. Yeah, so you could study astrology your whole life and so not see everything that there is Like you. Just you won't even come into contact with it. When it comes to the female body, you know there's this wanton gap and you know it was like. That's one of my missions, I think, is to close that gap. A better understanding of what we need, you know, not just health lies, but, like in our communities and our society. You know, I don't think people are really prepared to, I don't think people are prepared to, I don't want to there's no other way I can say this to butt heads with all of the entities when you have a baby in the American system.

Speaker 1: 1:03:44

It's painful.

Speaker 2: 1:03:45

Yeah, we totally agree. Where can people connect with you and find you? Yeah, so I'm on Instagram. That's where my online interstate is real estate. Online real estate is right now. I did have a website, but I took it down recently, but, yeah, instagram and then email is really the best way to contact me. That's where I schedule sessions and everything. Wonderful, well, perfect, well.

Speaker 2: 1:04:26

Thank you so much for coming on and sharing your two very different but yet empowering births and, you know, finding like what your real, real passion lies. Yeah, and thank you so much, like I love your podcast. Oh, I'm doing, I think, the world of both of you for doing what you're doing, and this is such a beautiful. It's such a beautiful way to like sort of bring people in you know, one at a time, and to like the realities of it. I love the stories of some of the. You know, everyone has this really beautiful story, but some of the stories that you brought in are just, I mean, amazing, heartbreaking, and it's so good to have that. You know, have those stories come to our ears. So, thank you so much, thank you.

Speaker 1: 1:05:33

That really means a lot Well, wonderful.

Speaker 1: 1:05:38

Thank you so much for coming on and we'll see you next episode. Thank you for joining us on this episode of the Golden Hour Birth podcast. We hope you've enjoyed our discussion and found it insightful and beneficial. Remember, the Golden Hour Birth podcast is made possible by the support of listeners like you. If you appreciate the content we bring you each week, consider leaving us a review on your favorite podcast platform or sharing the show with your friends and family. Your support helps us reach more people and continue creating valuable episodes. If you have any questions, suggestions or topics you'd like us to cover in future episodes, we'd love to hear from you. You can reach us on our website, www. Goldenhourbirth podcast, or connect with us on social media. We value your feedback and want to make sure that we're delivering the content you want to hear. Before we sign off, we'd like to express our gratitude to our incredible guests who joined us today. We are honored that they trust us enough to be so open and vulnerable. We're grateful for their time and willingness to share their stories with us.

Speaker 1: 1:06:45

If you're interested in taking the conversation further with us, join us on our Facebook group, the Golden Hour Birth Circle. We'll be back next week with another exciting episode, so be sure to tune in. Until then, stay golden and remember to take care of yourself. We'll catch you on the next episode of the Golden Hour Birth podcast. Bye.