Today's episode is a rebroadcast of one of our favorite episodes from 2022. Jenny's tale is one of hope and resilience, a story that reminds us of the strength found in shared experiences. As a nurse and clinical educator at a fertility clinic, she's familiar with the technicalities of conception, but it's her own struggle with PCOS and the surprise of a twin pregnancy that brings an authentic depth to this episode. Her candidness in recounting the unpredictability of fertility treatments, the dawning realization of her condition, and the subsequent rollercoaster of emotions draws us into a world where personal meets professional, offering a unique perspective that's both educational and deeply human.
Our conversation extends beyond the initial joy of discovering twins—it explores the complexities of carrying them. The suspense of genetic testing, the humor in pregnancy announcement reactions, and the solidarity found amongst family and co-workers during trying times paint a vivid landscape of Jenny's journey. Yet, it's the turn of events, the early delivery, and the NICU stay, that test her resolve and highlight the courage often required in the face of unexpected challenges. Her story doesn't shy away from the reality of anxiety and fear but also celebrates the moments of humor and the unyielding support that see her through.
Connect with Jennilyn here.
Join our Facebook group community here!
To sign up for our newsletter visit our website and blog: www.goldenhourbirthpodcast.com
Follow Liz on Instagram here and Natalie here
Follow us on Facebook here.
Today's episode is a rebroadcast of one of our favorite episodes from 2022. Jenny's tale is one of hope and resilience, a story that reminds us of the strength found in shared experiences. As a nurse and clinical educator at a fertility clinic, she's familiar with the technicalities of conception, but it's her own struggle with PCOS and the surprise of a twin pregnancy that brings an authentic depth to this episode. Her candidness in recounting the unpredictability of fertility treatments, the dawning realization of her condition, and the subsequent rollercoaster of emotions draws us into a world where personal meets professional, offering a unique perspective that's both educational and deeply human.
Our conversation extends beyond the initial joy of discovering twins—it explores the complexities of carrying them. The suspense of genetic testing, the humor in pregnancy announcement reactions, and the solidarity found amongst family and co-workers during trying times paint a vivid landscape of Jenny's journey. Yet, it's the turn of events, the early delivery, and the NICU stay, that test her resolve and highlight the courage often required in the face of unexpected challenges. Her story doesn't shy away from the reality of anxiety and fear but also celebrates the moments of humor and the unyielding support that see her through.
Connect with Jennilyn here.
Join our Facebook group community here!
To sign up for our newsletter visit our website and blog: www.goldenhourbirthpodcast.com
Follow Liz on Instagram here and Natalie here
Follow us on Facebook here.
The Golden Hour Birth Podcast, a podcast about real birth stories and creating connections through our shared experiences. Childbirth isn't just about the child. It's about the person who gave birth, their lives, their wisdom and their empowerment. We're Liz and Natalie, the Golden Hour Birth Podcast, and we're here to laugh with you, cry with you and hold space for you. Oh, welcome to the Golden Hour Birth Podcast. We're so happy to have you back. I'm your host, natalie, and I'm your host Liz, and today we have a very special guest. It's our first time having a remote guest, so if the sound is a little different, that's why. But we wanted to introduce Jenny, and thanks for coming on. And why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself and your family?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm Jenny. My full name is Jenna Wren. A lot of people when I became an adult call me a gentleman and I am a nurse at reproductive biology associates, a fertility critic in Atlanta, georgia. I'm a clinical educator, so I talk a lot and I teach new nurses. That's about the field that I'm very, very passionate about fertility, and when I was in nursing school, I was interested in women's health and psychology and how do you mix those two Fertility. So it was. I feel like I'm destined for this job and I truly, truly, truly love it.
Speaker 2:But I live here in North Georgia with my two girls and my husband Daniel he goes by Danny. We met.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So for all the St Louis, that was him. He went to Marquette, I went to Eureka, he went to two different high schools and we met when we were 16.
Speaker 2:And we were inseparable. Where we met, we just we didn't stop. We were a little bit out. He was my best friend and you know ups and downs, but we went to college together in Alabama and then we ended up in Georgia. So they loved that. They loved the high school sweetheart love. Oh, yeah, we grew up together. I mean he in many ways. I mean I watched that guy grow chest hair. We've done them through it all with each other. It's something really special and unique. That's amazing.
Speaker 2:So when did you guys decide that you wanted to start a family? And then, how did, kind of like, that journey go? Yeah, I, in college, I found out I had PCL. There's polycystic ovarian syndrome, where it's where you just don't have to be laid on your own. So without birth control, I don't have a period. I knew. From that point, I knew I would need some kind of help getting pregnant. I didn't look into the job for that, I just happened to fall onto it. And after we got married, leo loaked. And in 2018, leo loaked and shortly after that I was like, whatever, I'll get off birth control and we can see. Well, a couple of months go by, nothing.
Speaker 2:I tried a couple rounds of medication. I took letrosol and avidrol it's an injection that forces you to ovulate and do you think he didn't know about, like the first five months of that? He just thought that he was getting raised, he's happy to be there. So we it was, it was Gia and I went to a family wedding and I was. You know, you're hoping to be pregnant. For those, those big events, the family event, it was a lot down that I wasn't my co-worker. She was pregnant the month we both tried. It was just over. She was so sad and disappointed at each one. Then it gave me insight into what my patients go through. So we moved into our new home and we tried again in July. I just so happened to be talking to my sister about this stuff at the same time and we started our periods around the same time. She just got married and we we tried with medication again, a higher dose this time, and I was testing at work because I was surrounded by birth, like pregnancy tests.
Speaker 2:Why would I pay for one, so I was at work on a weekend and I took a test and it was like a very big line and I'm all by myself and I'm holding the test and I'm like she and my manager, I close with all my co-workers and she sees me with that test and she just screams, screams down the hall and the director of nursing at the time she was like how is screaming on a weekend?
Speaker 1:Like she's joking. She's like her.
Speaker 2:The hell is screaming. And Melissa was like I was like I'm shaking and holding the little test to her. I think I think it's positive. She goes yeah, it's positive, unless you're just a weird old bear with a disease. And so we do our tests. That was 11 days after ovulation. That was 11 days, oh, and it was positive, which is the first sign I should have noticed. The blood work was like pretty high. It was, I think, over 100. And I think I have the.
Speaker 2:Where I work we have ultrasound and so I could do ultrasounds at like five weeks. So I did a really early ultrasound and it was we sold two sacks. So immediately we sold two sacks and I was so anxious because we're in a realm that there could be multiple per sack, so I was like as long as there's just two heartbeats per sack, as long as there's just two heartbeats per sack. That time was pretty scary Early on. I didn't have very many symptoms early, but I hit about seven or eight weeks and nausea hit pretty bad. I don't know about you guys, but like if I'm going to vomit, I fight it. My body like fights it really hard.
Speaker 2:I tried to avoid it at all costs, but I didn't have a choice. In tons of food aversion I think I lost weight at that point. My only appetite I just wanted a turkey sub from Jersey. Mike, I don't care, I'm not eating anything Like I can't eat anything, so the risk be damned.
Speaker 1:I mean that turkey is bad, so that was that was a little tough.
Speaker 2:When it came to like 14 weeks, though, it stopped. All of it stopped, yeah, so it got better and you know, it was like a little bit like a hit wall. I could drink coffee again I could. I could go about normally. Now other symptoms started pretty early with me. I don't know if you guys know what Hux is. I had no idea what this was. It is PUPPS. It's a bunch of P, but it related to your placenta and it causes excessive itching all over your body.
Speaker 1:I haven't heard of that. Yeah, it was a. I'm not very good.
Speaker 2:It's from your placenta and it's from a lot of birth pregnancies get it and birth pregnancies of boys, and it can happen with birth pregnancies because you get so big so fast and with twins I got big so fast. Yeah, I was itchy so much they had to give me. I had taken a drill or a zirtech every day. It was awful. I also got lightning crotch really early. Oh, did I? Yeah, I got lightning crotch probably 23 week, 24 week. Oh, wow, that is early, yeah.
Speaker 1:I got it early, but I did it.
Speaker 2:I know I listened to your episode and I was like boo, I got feeling. That feeling is something else, yeah, yeah, but yeah. So I mean, at the beginning we were so overjoyed with it. I was really, really excited. I was thinking, oh my gosh, I knew that the measurements of my follicles, like I was like, oh, is it identical? Was it that small follicle that was just hanging over there? So I was very aware of everything when I was pregnant. We did tell each other. Sorry, I didn't mean to figure out there.
Speaker 1:How did you tell Danny because I don't think you said that part like how did you tell Danny that you were pregnant at work? And then how did you tell?
Speaker 2:those twins, yeah. So I, after I went home, I got off of work and I was like I got to find one of those fancy tests one of those store bought tests that just say pregnant, you won't get the whole wine.
Speaker 2:And I go to his work he works in real estate and he works for a home builder, so he's there at the model home and he has a partner and I get there and it's just part of there and she's like, oh, he's walking a house with some customers and I was like, all right, what the heck? And I really wanted to videotape it. I guess I'm going to tell one more person before my eyes. So do me a favor. And when Danny's coming up, I need to take a video because I'm going to look right and she's so excited and we, I have him on like the front porch and I'm like, hey, babe, you know we're going to have to start preparing because we have someone coming to visit us in April and he's like who he can't break. I'm not sure who they'll be, but and I start to pull out he goes, I'll make you hot.
Speaker 2:She's just like and he's like it's because we know he was like we did. I think he said something like we did it last night. Was it that you're gonna be it? Oh, you're gonna be yes.
Speaker 1:It was the best one.
Speaker 2:The best one was when I got that ultrasound. That that day it was like I was really, really, really old, I was like five weeks and I had just called my sister that day. Like I got home from work, called my sister, I didn't, she had had a loss and I didn't want to be right. Hey, I know you're trying to you pregnant, yet that's never, never a good thing. Yeah, if someone's struggling to get pregnant don't do it yeah.
Speaker 2:And I recall we're talking and you know when you like you're doing small little talk with someone and you're skirting around the things that you want to talk about. We're talking about stupid crap, I don't even remember, and she goes and she like cuts the shit. It goes are you pregnant? And I was like I am, I am, and she goes. You know what? I took a test today. I think are you too? I go you big. She no joke. Her and I were five days apart.
Speaker 1:Oh, you got it. Don't forget five days. No, I don't, that is so special, and it was that day.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was that day where I had that ultrasound and I go Kimberly, I really don't mean to steal your thunder, I do think it might be. I think it's Twitter. It's like I'm like, why not be you? I'm so fucking excited.
Speaker 2:But it was so exciting and I had preen that day for my friend Anna to take over and I was going to like have a glass of wine. You know, talk to her. We hadn't seen each other in a while. She's a nurse at a children's hospital, like she's in the, in the shit she's on the. She knew that we had been trying for a couple of months and she was like how's it going? And like you know, we, we stopped trying, I we're. It was a fight, we had a fight Line, just straight up lined her and, um, she got. She got home from work that I had him start recording and I recorded me telling her which, by the way, during this time we're idiots and we decided to get a puppy. She heard this reaction was, oh my goodness, you know, puppy. Like, yeah, we're still getting a puppy. This dumb. We were so dumb, we, we paying for the puppy and all of that and we'd already put a deposit down. And then I find out it's twins and I'm like I'm going to put money down.
Speaker 1:This is the half thing.
Speaker 2:So I pull, I say Danny keep recording. And he goes out Up Like that's not part of the three he's recording. And I pull out that ultrasound and then go and I start crying because I was like holding it into long.
Speaker 2:I'm like twin and he ruins the video because he goes blah blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, the person and I'm like, and then, after the video is gone, he goes it's because we did it twice that one day Is it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's the it's.
Speaker 1:When he did it twice, it's why?
Speaker 2:And cool, funny it's, it's, it's.
Speaker 1:It's, it's, I love it, the thing to update.
Speaker 2:Like you, you I. If not the metal, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have a, I have. I have Right Satisfied the. I thought Really really sad he.
Speaker 1:I love that.
Speaker 2:Because everyone's so excited and then they're Just like, and then they're looking their eyes it's so, there, it's. I was scared for you. I Like, I'm scared, it's it's so. So it went. It was really pretty exciting. You have to get any. Yeah, that was a oh, I go away.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so after like the 24ish weeks of like lightning Crotch.
Speaker 2:How did it go for there? Um, now, the anatomy scan Obviously is super long when it comes to To Anything. Um, they're able to get baby B Just fine. We could see all of baby B. She seems to have all the room To Whip around and it was baby Anyway. That we really couldn't Visualize. She Was just facing my story so we couldn't see her face, and that would start out more appointments and later on, you know, more older sounds. But we held off on genetic testing, we didn't do the gender testing or anything, and I just wanted to wait Because With twins it's not a definitive you could say, it just tells you if the why Chrome is only present or not In my case.
Speaker 2:it would have told me the answer, but I was like I think it's a boy and a girl. I don't think it's going to give me the whole answer. I'm not sick enough to beat the girls you know, and plus, by the way, no girl name. We had no girl name Set out.
Speaker 1:We're the opposite. We're the opposite we liked.
Speaker 2:Well, and here we. I've had my ultrasound, or for who Happens to all? But be a twin mom and that fertility game, love it. There's a lot of us. There are just like six twin parents, and In our office, yes.
Speaker 1:So we.
Speaker 2:I was like okay, I think it's like. She like I think it's time let's do your gender what's by the gender today? So it's really cool have a the ability to just pop a wand in your vagina and have your co-workers tell you so Her. Her name is Kimmy. She's fantastic.
Speaker 1:I love her.
Speaker 2:And Jen another ultrasound, but who's also a twin parent. I had been in there and they were going to write it down and Danny and I were. I was going to go home and Danny and I were going to See it and open it up together and they write it down really secretly and right at the end Jen is like hey, what do you think it is? And I go oh, I I'd say it's going to be A boy and a girl. And Jen go hey, kimmy, did you hear that? Did you hear what she thinks? They are All right.
Speaker 2:So I'm wrong. I'm wrong and I proceed to have the longest ride home. So much traffic At waiters known for traffic, but I it took me an hour to have to get home and the envelope is in my currency and just staring at it. So Danny and I opened it up together that night and it the video is bad. I've never posted it, I've never shared it because I look so disappointed, but really it's just the anxiety flooding me that I had no names. Like I had some of these, but we don't like them and we've talked about baby things. I'm a psycho since like 16 had a list on my phone. So, real, know what you're having. You now have to name this person and I was. Yeah, it was really exciting, but you know, ultrasound stopped being fun when you get to the anatomy scan and further Cause they're.
Speaker 2:I was also, you know appointments are really expensive Cause you're like with a singleton pregnancy, they don't do ultrasounds. How many way, like all the time, every single time I was in the office I did an ultrasound parent along with the pups. It was the ultrasound gel. I mean my whole body breakout. There's a little, but there was one. So we got to the point where the ultra, the OB we really need to see baby A space to make sure she's okay, that she had the chair and that she has, you know, the normal profile. So we want you to go over to the parentatologist down the road. They have more intense ultrasound, ultrasound, I guess. So I'm in the business. I know everyone like OB is upstairs Like it's really easy to do these appointments. So that day, january, I decided to clock in and go down the street Like I stay clocked in, no, I go and put early on clock in.
Speaker 2:I'm like, hey, I'll be back. I put a clenatin on my desk and I'll say I'll see you later. And I go and I park over there at the appointment. They start to stand me and the ultra sonographer heard her, you know, shooting a shit. And then she gets really, really quiet and I was like, oh, you know, is everything would be okay? And she's like, yeah, yeah, I need help the doctor and come in and talk to you. Just, are you feeling okay? I'm like, yeah, I feel fine, I feel great.
Speaker 2:We're talking about I don't know what you're talking about she raised the doctor in and the doctor goes. Well, while we're doing that ultrasound you had contracted, did you feel bones? And I was like, yeah, so again, and she is. Also, your cervix is very small, it's thin, so worth the event. She casually says the word admission and, being a nurse, I'm like on high alert. I'm like what? Yeah, excuse me, ma'am, go back. Hey, why she goes. And I say, what are you saying to me? She just says I'm going to need to admit you to the hospital To make sure you don't go with the labor. And are I free? Go Like I have, like I prevent a rating. Right yeah, losing a little bit. How many weeks were you?
Speaker 1:Geez.
Speaker 2:I was 27.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, so early.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I was 27 weeks and I was also. You know, I was scared. I didn't sign up for short-term disability when I got my job and that was apparently all of at the time. That was our paternity leave. So I learned about that and I was like I don't have a maternity leave and so I've been anxious, worn, all of the symptoms so far, all of the financial things, with all the ultrasound. I was so stressed, so anxious. My blood pressure was fine, it was nothing like that, but everything was building, financially building.
Speaker 2:You're here, you look up the cost of twins and you're always like you want to freak out. Well, I'm at that point. I'm at 27 weeks and I'm being admitted. The first people I called being obviously called being. But I texted my manager and the clinical manager and I was like Karen and Krista and I immediately was like they're admitting it's too early. Like if I read that text now I'd start to cry, like it makes me so upset, it makes me so sad, but I go, it's too early. And Krista and Karen just jumped in and they were like it's okay, we got this, we'll put you out of office. They jumped into action. I later found out Krista was crying.
Speaker 2:Like she was hysterical and she and I'm so close with it, all my coworkers but she was so strong in that moment and so they for them, like they were. I texted them, I told my mom she didn't understand what was going on, but I didn't either. They knew that I was in the nurse. They I mean all around. If you're in the Atlanta area, it's called Pale Hill, it's all of the hospitals, and Northside is the baby factory where everyone delivers. No, and they have like three floors of delivery, the three L and B floors. Wow, northside is massive. This office has a tunnel that goes into Northside Hospital. Whoa, she, the doctor, tells me well, I know, you're a nurse, I can't let me be, which, in clinical terms, is you are a flight risk. I think you're going to leave and run away. So they put me in a wheelchair and weaned my big ass all the way to the hospital and I'm sitting in front of the check-in desk. And, natalie, I don't know if you remember this, but if I cried, I get squatchy, I'm tripping.
Speaker 2:Everyone's aware that I'm crying and I and bright red, I am sobbing, I'm scared. I'm, by myself being admitted to, took me to the hospital and definitely, by the way, they did not help me or anything. So I get into the room, I'm on a high-risk perinatal unit. I work in the hospital in St Louis. I work in the hospital in Santa Ana. I never thought that I was going to be somewhere in the hospital bed, especially at 26, 26 years old, so it was very weird. I did my glucose test that day and, by the way, because I left my clonatin on my desk, I was starving. I was in love with that glucose test, I loved it. I was like, yes, bring it, can I have?
Speaker 1:another one.
Speaker 2:It's like more than a cup. I mean I still don't have bad memories of that glucose test because I was so hungry. Every woman I tell that to all my coworkers. You've been pregnant since. They're like you're crazy. I forgot what is wrong with that. It's not good, no, it's not. But so I was admitted by the perinatologist that my OB received me. I didn't hear, I didn't see the OB until like 11 o'clock that night. He comes in and he did shovel Like he's just, he's had a hard day. He goes sorry, you know, have like five C sections today, like that sucks. And they're all talking to me because my doctor, dr Andrew Toledo, is buddies with everyone, like he is so well connected.
Speaker 2:Dude has connections out the ads in the OB field and so they all knew I'm his nurse, this is Jenny Andy's nurse. And so Dr Bacille comes in and he's like, who's that the chair? And he just cuts the shit with me. I'm watching forensic files. That helps me sleep. And he's like, oh, this shit's going great. I feel it's great. I see this episode. I was like bro, no, we're not talking about forensic files. Why am I here? What am I doing? When is the timeline here?
Speaker 2:And they put me on Twice a day or three times a day Monitoring. So I had to monitor the baby's heartbeat along with my toe. So I had to do contraction monitor. I had a really bad verge couple of days where they had to slow down contraction and prevent them. So they I didn't have any blood pressure issues, it was just my cervix could not handle bone contractions. That occasionally occurred Now, like I think one time they gave me med and I had the due IV, because if you're dehydrated you're at risk for those contractors to come back.
Speaker 2:So but it was a fine worry because if you're, you're blotters to pull the water, push on your uterus and then start contract so I was just constantly getting up to go to the bathroom. That was my only activity with getting up to go to that. But it was monitored bed rest, hospital monitored bed rest. So I couldn't leave the room, couldn't go for a walk, nothing. I would sneak out because there's a McDonald's in that hospital and you bet your ass. This fatty over here was like yeah, the twins want, the twins need a milkshake. I passed my glucose test. What are you talking about?
Speaker 1:It's not me, it's the twins yeah.
Speaker 2:I, that was January, right, right, when people want to start cleaning baby showers. I actually had people planning two baby showers in St Louis and a bean shower at work and we had to make the bean one baby shower that cancelled and one was virtual in St Louis, which sucked so bad, so bad. Um, we that all my coworkers, had to plan a baby shower three time at work and it all three of them got canceled. So, um, never had that. I was like, danny, you have to put together the, the cribs now, you know I'm like months away, I know where near the time, to need a crib or even a high chair. I think you can put together high chair. We used that until we were like nine one four.
Speaker 2:I was panicking and making him do stuff. So it was really hard on him because I I can't imagine doing this if you had kids, because I was in the hospital. I worked 45 minutes north, so I'm in the hospital, right by my word. Some people can come by and see me, but Danny's coming 45 minutes south. After he comes home from work, he takes the dogs out and we also have three dogs at his point, by the way. Oh, my mistake, like mistake and he takes the dogs out and then he'll come see me. So those first couple of weeks he was doing it every day we hear that he's so much in gas, he's exhausted, he's irritated.
Speaker 2:He was taking a really big toll on us. So I'm like two weeks into this hospital stay and every day I'm like, why can't I please go home, Can't I please go home? And it's hey, you've made it. Another milestone. Another day, every single day is a win. Well, they tell me, everything's looking better. Your cervix is getting thicker. I get ultrasound, I think, Tuesdays and Thursdays. The worst part by far was the monitoring. You know those bayerns they put on you when you were delivering.
Speaker 2:We had three. We had three of them and the girls the babies don't like them. If they're small, they can like hit the monitor and they can spin away from it. So when the girls are released, they hated that, the way that we're going through, and they would just avoid it. So I would spend hours of my day being stuffed into the bed and trying to find their heartbeat. So it was a lot of like no, you have to do this to get the baby A, you have to do this to get baby B. It was just. It was so complicated. I was lucky enough at the time to have amazing co-workers who let me work from the hospital room. I was able to get a laptop and I would. I wouldn't call patients, but I would do insurance stuff. I would do paperwork like administrative stuff. So I was able to not get onto the short term yet, but I wasn't using my maternity leave yet.
Speaker 2:And keeping me safe. It was really true. Yeah, some kind of work. I wasn't just watching guys' grocery games, and so I was limited to only three hours a day, but it got me through Eventually. After like two and a half weeks, they let me go home. They discharged me, but like I was breaking free. Yeah, yeah, I immediately come home and the place that I'm there.
Speaker 1:And because I'm in my ear, I couldn't do it.
Speaker 2:I can like not clean the whole house, so I cleaned the house. We also had to get our puppy bathed because I didn't want a puppy period around the house when I can't clean, so we also had that scheduled. Well, we got our dog stayed and I had to like take care of her afterward. So I'm like Lifty has large gold retriever puppy.
Speaker 1:No yeah, it was a terrible idea, really bad idea.
Speaker 2:I go to 1.0 BA point of view and then I go back to the perinatalysis and I'm not fine Like several, just a few days apart, and my cervix is thin again. So that one I was not near the hospital so they couldn't yell me, they had to let me go home. So that visit they were like we want you, you're being admitted again. You know then, girl, but you need to go to the hospital in an hour. You need to go to the hospital in an hour. And I was like, okay. I was like so I could pack my own bag More. Have mercy, having your husband pack a bag before you can die. Don't let it. Don't let it. Don't let it. That dickhead, that dickhead thought it was funny to pack my vibrator. I can't comment. He's an asshole.
Speaker 1:And he thought it was so funny.
Speaker 2:He thought it was so funny. He's been already a fucking asshole. He put super good things in the hood. I'm pretty sure I was the other woman, so the second time around I could pack my own bag. I'm so no vibration. Can I go get sweet tomatoes? Before you know that buffet Sweet tomatoes they have like the very muffins.
Speaker 2:I was like, can I please put a sweet tomato before? And you're like Jenny, no, you need to go to the hospital. So I mean that appointment, that meeting, was not fun, but it was way less dramatic as the first one when I had no idea what to expect. I thought I was. You know it was jiggly glue. That second admission, that was the final one. I knew I was in for the long haul. They wouldn't let me go home because I lived too far away from the hospital where my OB delivers. And also, the biggest thing was the NICU. We needed a really well equipped NICU. So, and all, I'm back on the same floor, by the way, same floor, same nurses, and I come back and I'm like what are?
Speaker 2:you doing? What did you do? Why are you here again? And I was like you know, maybe you're helping, so that was, that was sucky. And then, this time around, I was like Danny, don't come visit every single day, it's too much on you.
Speaker 1:It's too much.
Speaker 2:I'm stuck in here regardless whether you come into visit or not. So this one was a little bit better. I had friends come to see me. I still had work. I actually went with my sister. When my baby shower at St Louis got canceled, she decided to your flight, she came to see me. So she's pregnant Same time. I am just as they not that big, though she's not having twins. So it was really cool because she would sit in the hospital bed with me and all of our babies are kicking together.
Speaker 1:It's so cute.
Speaker 2:She's having a boy, I'm having two girls. They we've sat side by side in our bellies.
Speaker 1:You can see them like just lowly, it was so cool, it was really.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was really neat. We, I got I didn't get comfortable, but I got, you know, pretty, you know resilient in my position there, but it's not without like a lot of I don't know deep personalization. You just kind of become a walking incubator at that point, just day by day. You're counting the days. At that point, my, you know I had people visit. I had everyone like telling their friend. You know, my uncle, sister came to see me, everyone came to visit. I was like, well, it's, and I continue to work too, so I was just keeping busy. Yeah, so this was like end of February 2020.
Speaker 1:And of.
Speaker 2:February. Yeah, and in the hospital, I'm watching the news and I'm like, what's this COVID day? Yeah, I'm talking to other nurses. I'm like, what do you think this is going to be like? The the, the, the future of the baby? I think it's going to come here and we're I? I I just don't remember everyone being right now. No, no, no, it's going to be okay. My biggest concern at that point was not having meat baby, your babies.
Speaker 1:I was like I'm not going to have twins.
Speaker 2:Oh no, I was like I'm not going to have twins, I'm going to have a baby, I'm going to have a baby. And I was like you know, I was like inside a family place. There was no visa inter waite, so I's in this place. Oh no, no, no. When can I visit that? I think, yeah, go ahead, yeah. So I wish I had small clients. So I wanted to recovery months and for launch, going to learn and do weekly lift.
Speaker 2:There's a lot of guilt around my delivery, but on March 3rd, that night, I missed my husband. I was, you know, bored, All right, I just happen to have an orgasm and your interest was hormonal and pregnant, you know you're here, whatever you're going to do with it. The next day I think nothing of it, and the next day I'm like feeling more discomfort than usual.
Speaker 2:And I'm watching guys. First you game per usual, the quick routine, eating starbursts, because it was all about that texture at that time. My doctor, then same doctor, that was the guy who admitted me, super cool. He goes hey, what are you doing? How are you doing? And I'm like, oh, you know, I've watched all of the forensic files by now. What's up? I'm seeing rerun and it was like Cup and shit. Are you feeling? And I go Well, it feels like both babies are trying to leave my belly button.
Speaker 2:You leave outside. You know, they just a contraction with twins. It's not like focused, it just felt like they're both going outward instead of down like they should be. So I was just explaining, I just don't feel comfortable, you know, like normal. And he was like oh, you know, I'm minimizing it all over the place, I'm minimizing it. And he goes Well, let's just put you on the monitor and see what's just put you on.
Speaker 2:And I can't remember the name, but my nurse that day was fantastic and she was. She put me on the monitor. It got easier to do the monitor as the baby stuff bigger, because even if they don't like the monitor, they can't, they don't have the room to get out. Yeah, and, by the way, baby is with it every other day. So she's just like using her sister's head as a as a way to just jump off of it and just flip, whereas baby A she's just facing right side and not doing it. She just she can't move very much. Yeah, she's so well that they can only see her butt cheek with a vaginal ultrasound. That's how well she was. She was sitting on top of my cervix, wow, in my pelvis, and I remember telling Dr Visio. I was like I feel like I'm being ripped from my pelvis and he was like, oh yeah, classic lightning crotch. And I was like what is that lightning crotch? And I went and how Well, he kind of a day after monitoring me and she goes um, jenny, it's been 20 minutes and you've had six contraptions. I was like, oh, thank you. So, dr Visio, she's.
Speaker 2:I ran at the doctor back in here. We're going to have to check your cervix. That means he had the largest hands. I mean I nearly crawled up the bed. I was she's here, so they tear purified of him. I got so checked his cervix. He makes this like hilarious show. Well, your tonsils look great, but cool.
Speaker 2:Also, we're having babies today because your, your bag is bulging. Oh my God. I was like, oh, bulging what? And the exact is coming out. So we need to. We're going to go right, it's C section day, we're doing it and I'm like shit, you know, my husband's 45 minutes north.
Speaker 2:I'm starting to like hyperventilate. My nurse, it's so great she goes calm down, you're okay, you got this, don't cry, don't cry. And I, he, by the way, he goes, what if you? When's the last time you ate the starburst? So he, you know, I, I texted the, I called the and I'm like hey, so we're having babies today.
Speaker 2:I could like we're having babies today. Go ahead, I don't think we're in like a rush. Go ahead and go home and take the dog out. It could be a while and and then head down, I take. I call my friend. You know right, she is the, the nurse. I'm like I'm going to be a nurse. I'm going to be a nurse. I call my friend. You know, right, she is the, the children's nurse, and she who had close by and she has like a go-back y'all. She went there. She was there in like 10 minutes and helping me, like she helped me so much I happened to be like getting wheeled down and I realized, oh, I've been over hydrating. That's what my job was the last couple weeks. I had to pee really bad and they were like no, it's okay, we'll put in a phone, we'll put in a catheter.
Speaker 2:It's okay, oh wait, I might pee before that. So she you know EM is there. She holds my hand when they put the, the epidural in. And then, fun fact about being hot boys for five weeks. You can't do any glaring down there. The redwoods aim that I'm mad they had. This is six, 30 or so at night and they have shift change. So everyone's giving report to each other, yeah, and they have a new nurse who's shaving my puve and the older nurse was like that's enough, that's enough. I said wait, cool. So Danny packs your vibrator, but we'll pack your anything to grim you.
Speaker 2:But twins, you can't see anything.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you'd have to have someone else to a fit.
Speaker 2:That was a great moment. They put in the catheter and they're like oh, jenny, you really did have to go and sell the catheter. Hmm, there and there's March 4th, so I'm starting to start restricting from one OR. They don't have enough room for other people. So they're like who are you? And she went on to the friend and they're like okay, you need to get her stuff. My hospital room is like an apartment. So she had to unpack my whole room and bring it to post-divorary. So she did that.
Speaker 2:Dr Bacille was like oh hey, where's your husband? Where's he at? I go. Oh yeah, I told him to go and take the dogs out. He should be here in like 10 minutes or so. We have a term right. I mean, I think we're going to go with like OR at like 8.30. And he goes. And this is when he was very serious. He goes, judy, the moment your husband is dressed out, we're wheeling you to the OR immediately and I go. And that's when she got real. So it was like me. We wheeled out, I think at seven. That is ship change in the hospital. So there was already more personnel because of twin, but they were double that. And I'm sitting there face up on the table and it gets so loud in that room I could hear everyone talking. It was, and Dr Bacille was sitting there patiently. Obviously Dr Chou. They gave her a word and he goes. You do it OK, and I remember like choking out it's too loud. He goes as I thought Stop talking, get out of here, and I was so thankful for that.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's awesome Section shake section three.
Speaker 2:So I was shaking the whole time I was crying. Danny was so pumped. He was just naive to it all. He didn't look over the curtain or anything. He's not that dude, but we had this wonderful anesthesia. And then there's some anesthetists. She took my phone and she took pictures of the whole thing. That's nice, but I didn't feel a thing. That wasn't painful or anything. They it's the feeling of a tug. And then you hear a baby cry. That was my Natalie, natalie's baby Ari. She immediately came out screaming, telling the world that she was pissed and she was ready to go. And then baby B came to me later. That's Nora. And each time before he picked up Natalie, before he took out Namerie, his timing was perfect. He'd go. Well, dad, he is Malekis, because this is the last time you're going to be in order.
Speaker 2:And things are out. It's too absurd. And then with Nora, he put Nora towards the barrier and I have this awesome picture of her reaching out with her little fiend and touching that clear barrier. Cool, and I was just hysterically crying, so, so happy. There's all the nurses there for the NICU, so while they're cleaning me up, danny's taking pictures and seeing them and talking to them and he goes with the baby's lawn getting cleaned up. They knew I'm a nurse. Obviously they all know me, so they at the end they show me my placentons Love it.
Speaker 1:Nearly, where's the uppermost right here?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so they show me birth of my placentons and it was a very nice, a good time overall the delivery. At that point I was just so happy to have made it to 33 weeks. Who?
Speaker 1:knew.
Speaker 2:Their outcomes were so much more improved than previously. But they went right to the NICU and I stayed in postpartum. So I didn't get to hold them that night. I didn't get to see them until the next day, until I was OK to get off of the pangor and go upstairs to see them. So Anna stayed with me that night. She was a big, happily baby, had to go back home and take care of the dog. But we got to see the girl in the morning at the NICU. It's scary, all right. So Nora, four pounds eight, oh, wow, four pounds, one One, yeah, she was just a little bit smaller, but Natalie was immediate. Further has been Nora. She progressed faster. The thing about the hot soul we were at they have two NICUs. They have two separate NICUs and so many different like wounds inside the NICU. They kept my girls in like separate wounds. So I was only half a year around.
Speaker 2:This was first week of work. Things haven't shut down yet. I read that I get this trajectory five days and I can't drive. Actors say such, you can't drive because you could go to an accident, you could burst your uterus and just be screwed. So thankfully my co-worker should work. He could kind of buy me and they worked on the road. So they drove me to work and I'm pumping. I was so adamant, I was like I got to do all the pumping and not need a girl. So I wanted to say money. I packed a cooler. I would play here in the sandwich area, get a read water and I was dropped off for the whole day. So I would go to each one of their feed and eat, drink and pump all the time. And then, niki, they have a pump that would go right to the bedside so you could pump it and hold your baby, you could try the feed. The crows were chasing me to properly breastfeed. So it was just a lot of pumping for me.
Speaker 2:Be Erin, there is one day I remember with my friend Hillary, when driving me I felt so tired I'm still so tired and I was like this is it, this is COVID, this is what I heard about this new COVID. And when we got home later on I was falling asleep at both the girls bedside and Hillary was like just take a break, wait, you're just exhausted. And I'm starting to feel like bubblegum Not like sweat bubblegum, I'm fury. And do you hear me? Crows home and he's gone. Did you make sandwiches bigger worth? And he got out of the hospital and I was like, yeah, I did. He was with this male and I was like, are you feeling Like this sentence expired like a year Fired? And I was right. I gave myself food, poisoning y'all. I am a weak postpartum. I'm missing also a natural toilet paper. Short bitch, remember that before the toilet paper and you could find toilet paper, yes, I was wrapping my brain out, bleeding, bleeding and I had no toilet paper.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yes, that was a freaking nightmare. Awesome, Davy's not doing paternity leave yet Because he's trying to save it for when the girl comes home. So I'm on my own. Thank God for my friend Dan, because of the cop Like these are driving around late at night when they're stuck in shelves and he got me a pack of sherman. I was so close y'all I was really close and he was on paper towel.
Speaker 1:Oh, I wonder how?
Speaker 2:So bad. He was awful. I am very compulsive now. All the people who I know who are pregnant or about to deliver, I give them the normal thing, but I give them a pack of toilet paper now.
Speaker 1:I'm not next to you, they just don't know.
Speaker 2:I just think they're crazy. They did not wear their lexin about 40. They did not, no, so I had. Well, that was the routine for a while. That was the routine after a couple weeks. It was driving to the hospital to see the girl Coming back home Driving her hot, slow big girl. That was my whole thing On and that's when COVID started to pick up and it's very to get her a little bit more scary, on March 19th, on March 23rd, natalie is doing awesome.
Speaker 2:She's hot. She's no breathing tube, she's feeding on her own. She's feeding apples, a bottle. We do the car seat test. We have to do the car seat test for them to make you just for them to go home. We do the car seat test and I'm talking to the nurses. I'm like OK, so when I take Natalie home, when we come back tomorrow to see Nora, can I have a crew in her area to put Natalie? So I called Nora and it's just like me and Natalie visiting Where's the seat. We're going to come together. And the nurse was like yeah, I'll have that coordinated for you.
Speaker 2:So it was later that night when Daddy was able to come. Help me pick up Natalie and get going. So we come together here, they the nurse manager comes out and was like hey, we do need to tell you about a change that's being made and we are the fortune rears going to have to shut down the making to any visitors. And I immediately was like, okay, but like I can, I can you know right? No, that means all of this To be able to come back.
Speaker 1:You're not like a visitor.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I'm. I'm like, so when I take Natalie, I'm not going to be able to see Nora and I proceed to have the work like a blue, blonde panic attack. I've never cried so hard so well in public before I mean semi public and no one's really around. Yeah, Danny kept his head cool. He was definitely the partner who was, you know, keeping a level pattern. I am moving, Nora, so they they, because your child's in the ice and you, yeah, and you're not going to be able to. They're like we face turned to. We'll face time twice a day. I am beside myself.
Speaker 1:I am just partial.
Speaker 2:One of the big readers. You're going to be there. There will be a moment, yeah. And those leaving my daughter yeah, it was hard leaving both of them, but I knew I was coming back to see purpose then. But coming back with one and leaving the other, I think I'll probably have period that for the rest of my life. Yeah, um, so they still make you wheel out your baby, holding Natalie here and sitting in that wheelchair. Just puffy and just days. I was almost just dissociating at that point. Mm, hmm, and, as before mass, right before he started wearing math, and I see this woman come up and she's crying because obviously she's been told that they've been her husband, ben Curry. And I see them on the way there. You are Really familiar. Um, I look at her and she goes your doctor, she goes nurse when I get and I look at it quick and I'm like I am I am.
Speaker 2:You are my patient, weren't you? She was right. Her baby was right next to our girl.
Speaker 1:Oh, and she was just told me, that's it Me.
Speaker 2:I was her main nurse to help her department. Oh, and in that moment she was just like this stuff, but I'm like it really does suck. Um, like it was. It was one of those weird small world moments. Yeah, and she has since come back to me and I helped you get pregnant baby number two. No, but I mean it was. It was awful. Yeah, Um, I was also by myself because daddy had to keep his surgery to leave until both girl came home.
Speaker 1:Mm, hmm.
Speaker 2:So for three weeks it was just Natalie at home with me and Danny was continuing to work. I was just up with the baby just to read all, all the I make you baby. You'd have to wake my every three hours, mm, hmm. So it was three hours on the dot, waking up to feed. I'd pump, hold her head up because she's also, you know, reef waxy, like normal making babies, I guess. Um, yeah, it was like really bad, um. And then Nora started to improve. You know, she came to the letter 40 days, wow, so like past her due date, was it?
Speaker 1:past her due date.
Speaker 2:It was. She came on vehicle 15th, so she was like a week away for her due date.
Speaker 1:Oh, oh my gosh. So, like they had to like, do that all on their own, like you didn't see her for 40 days.
Speaker 2:No, they would just FaceTime twice a day. Oh my gosh. So I'm just sitting there going through that constant like three hour cycle and then just waiting for a FaceTime call.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I have three days, oh so, um, and then they came home. So I'm like, I used to one baby, I used to one baby and then we have two. Oh, like, so it was a trip.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so how was postpartum?
Speaker 2:after having two and and Danny got to do his paternity leave, so he did his. He started his paternity leave there. It was all teamwork or nothing, but it was. We split it up and I'll do diapers. You do bottle. Natalie came home on a Dr Brown bottle with me, or Sherry breast milk. Nora came home on a ma'am bottle with Alameda there. So there was a total routine with the bottle. How to do them separately and correctly, it stresses me out, but you gotta know.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And, oh wow, I did, and I did two, I did the diapers and then we meet together, we would feed, hold them for for 20 minutes and then put them down, I would bend, I would pump. So it got really, really old. After a while, the pump day I wasn't producing a whole lot, I was bringing myself up. There's so much guilt where, when you have a nicobe baby I mean, especially in my situation where I felt completely at fault for it I felt real, I just kept that to myself. I'm like I'm very secretive over there.
Speaker 2:You know I think I caused my delivery by, you know, being stupid and hormonal the night before and I caused it. I totally caused this. I'm the reason why I'm not being my daughter. And then your pump day you're like I'm not making enough, right, it's my fault, I'm not beating enough. I'm like I can't get my girl. So it went. It kept postponing depression, like there the whole time. You're just kind of circling there. He had two weeks off, he had two weeks paid. He goes back to work the last couple of days. I'm like how do I feed both babies at once? I'm not going to do one and the other and then plant and I will litter, but they can never sleep.
Speaker 1:They can never sleep. Yeah, or shower, or I'll have a couple of pictures of me like both baby.
Speaker 2:They're propped up and they have bottles on either side. Yeah, and I'm just like it's pretty insane. So he goes back to work and I have one or two days. All of a sudden, you know, I'm on the second day of all by myself with both baby and he walks in while I'm pumping and he has tears down and I need to go. I was just laid off.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, so I'm worried, so I'm worried, so I'm worried. Oh my God, I'm worried.
Speaker 2:I'm just pumping, trying to feed, trying to think about how we're going to feed two baby. One is on the expensive formula and my heart becomes home until we get that job. Oh my God, so we freak out they, you know. Thank God for being on employment that was increased during the COVID.
Speaker 1:That helped so much he had severance.
Speaker 2:I mean he took that hard. He took that so hard, cool. And we got fully COVID shut down here. It was just craziness with the babies. It was just us and the babies who just locked down with two women Looking back I'm still so bitter about them rang him off right after Paterially.
Speaker 2:But they gave him the paterially paid paterially. The severance also was really good and he got on employment. On that I had a good employment and then I started working early. He got more time with the girl. He, you know, had a really long time with them early on and then they gave him his job back after like two months or so.
Speaker 1:That's so good.
Speaker 2:He like reapplied and they hired him back with. They started to clear up a little clearer but, yeah, a little bit better. It opened up a little bit more. So he, we ended up being okay with that, but yeah, it was really traumatic, it would have broken a lot of people. But Danny and I we didn't let it stop us and kind of bonded together there. And if anyone's pregnant with nocobul I mean even now as a nurse he is in the fertility field and my patient can get pregnant with one I tell them you have to work as a team, or is it? It's going to break you? Well, yeah, there's no. If they're in their bed, it's teamwork or it's going to wreck your marriage, Right, I mean, it's just that simple. Wow, yeah.
Speaker 1:Well, when did it oh sorry, go ahead. I was just going to say when did it feel like it kind of got a little bit easier? Was there like some sort of milestone or something? Or is it still?
Speaker 2:It got easier when they went to jpeg care.
Speaker 1:When the fine marine went to jpeg care? Yes, and they go to work.
Speaker 2:That's when it got a little bit better. I started. I got back on my entry anxiety. I stopped pumping, stopped pumping. I am a huge all four of us breastfeeding, all for pumping. But the mental toll that took I already had been so depersonalized in the hospital and then hoping yourself up for child to something that's going to milk you Takes away who you are. A lot, mary. I had to stop. I just had to stop. I felt a lot better when I stopped pumping. There. I also was able to start working on my mental health more. It took me a really long time to talk about my guilt towards the girl's delivery. I it took weeks into therapy for me to talk about that and to you know, very shapefully like just say it. One day my therapist said something on that one. She's like can you bring something into the light? I'm patient going to the light, it's true. So now I can talk about it and be like hey, you know we all masturbate. This didn't happen. We all do it.
Speaker 2:But, it depends on my sex life for a year after my delivery, because I was so thrilled with Gil that in sheen I couldn't enjoy sex with my husband and he thought it was his fault. And then finally I very late, I have to confess something to you, and so sorry for the NICU bill, my fault, I did this and I think this is why our daughters were born early and all of these issues. And he's like he's such a man, he's just so excited that he's like oh, he was like she thought you weren't attracted to me anymore. Oh, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2:Oh, I'm not getting away. Well, you know and I talked to other NICU moms we all have that guilt you caused that your body gets to do the right. You weren't able to deliver at the right time of the year, fault. So I'm still processing all of that and it's a trauma that is very, very having children in the NICU. But I still have a fork here, leave me alone.
Speaker 1:You are amazing. That was way more than I ever thought.
Speaker 2:I know that out when I wrote like, let's be fine, I'll be fine, I know me. I think you're casual. It's not casual. So, jenny, what advice would you give for moms of multiples? It would be make sure your partner is ready. Make sure you and your partner are strong. Go to therapy. Work out the kinks in your relationship first. Make sure you're in a good spot. It's going to test you. It's going to test you, but it's so satisfying for the multiple girls. They're so fun to be so very loving and it's just so, so much fun. It's a lot of fun, it's a lot of stress, but it's worth it.
Speaker 1:Jenny, thank you so much for telling your story and being so vulnerable and sharing the birth of your beautiful girls.
Speaker 1:Thank you for joining us on this episode of the Golden Hour Birth Podcast. We hope you've enjoyed our discussion and found it insightful and beneficial. Remember, the Golden Hour Birth Podcast is made possible by the support of listeners like you. If you appreciate the content we bring you each week, consider leaving us a review on your favorite podcast platform or sharing the show with your friends and family. Your support helps us reach more people and continue creating valuable episodes. If you have any questions, suggestions or topics you'd like us to cover in future episodes, we'd love to hear from you. You can reach us on our website, www. Goldenhourbirthpodcast, or connect with us on social media. We value your feedback and want to make sure that we're delivering the content you want to hear. Before we sign off, we'd like to express our gratitude to our incredible guests who joined us today. We are honored that they trust us enough to be so open and vulnerable. We're grateful for their time and willingness to share their stories with us.
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