Nicolette: [Rebroadcast] Part 1- Story of Intuition and Advocacy, Splenic Aortic Aneurysm During Labor

Imagine standing at the precipice of life's greatest joy and its most fearful uncertainty, all within the span of a single, heart-stopping hour. This episode is a profound voyage into the soul-stirring story of Nicolette, a seasoned labor and delivery nurse, who faces the ultimate test of her professional knowledge and personal resilience during the birth of her son. As she weaves through the complexities of an unexpected pregnancy and an emotional maelstrom of health scares, her narrative is a striking testament to the power of advocacy, intuition, and the unwavering support of loved ones.

As a listener, you'll journey with Nicolette from the whimsical surprise of pregnancy amid the chaos of a Puerto Rican vacation to the tense moments of managing pregnancy anxieties while bearing the mantle of a nurse. You'll be enfolded in the intimacy of her story, from the laughter-filled revelation to her daughter about the new baby to the nerve-wracking days leading up to delivery. Her experience serves as a beacon for anyone navigating the unpredictable waters of pregnancy, labor, and the unforeseen challenges that can arise—even for those who know the birth room best.

This episode isn't just about the recounting of a birth; it's an exploration of the raw edges of human experience and the indomitable spirit that emerges when life hangs in the balance. We hold space for Nicolette's voice and the voices of many others who have shared their journeys, creating a community rich with wisdom and courage. As you listen, prepare for an emotional tapestry that celebrates life, acknowledges the shadows, and honors the connections that bind us through the most profound moments of our lives.

Part 2 & 3 of Nicolette's story can be found in earlier episodes.

Connect with Nicolette on Instagram here.

To sign up for our newsletter visit our website and blog: www.goldenhourbirthpodcast.com
Follow Liz on Instagram here and Natalie here
Follow us on Facebook here.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Happy New Year Golden Hour family. As we step into 2024, we are revisiting one of our most downloaded episodes of 2023. I'm Liz, your host, and today we're diving into the first episode of Nicolette's Birth Story. Nicolette, a labor and delivery nurse from Virginia, shares her story, one that began with the decision to become a nurse after her first child and led to a chilling premonition during her second pregnancy. Fast forward to a life-threatening moment during childbirth, where she fought not just for herself but for her son. In today's re-broadcast, we'll unravel the incredible tale of Nicolette's survival against the odds. A spleenic artery aneurysm, a rare and perilous condition, changed the course of her life. Stay tuned to hear Nicolette's gripping narrative a story of courage, resilience and the unwavering determination to defy fate. This is part one of Nicolette's Story. You can listen to part two and three in earlier episodes. We'll be back next week with a new birth story the Golden Hour Birth Podcast a podcast about real birth stories and creating connections through our shared experiences Childbirth isn't just about the child.

Speaker 2: 1:19

It's about the person who gave birth their lives, their wisdom and their empowerment.

Speaker 1: 1:23

Here's Liz and Natalie, the Golden Hour Birth Podcast, and we're here to laugh with you, cry with you and hold space for you. Welcome to the Golden Hour Birth Podcast.

Speaker 2: 1:37

I am your co-host, Liz, and I'm your co-host, Natalie, and tonight we have Nicolette from Virginia on. She is a labor and delivery nurse and going to be sharing her own experience. I do just want to put a trigger warning out to our listeners that this mama, Nicolette, had an almost near-death experience and her son, Alec, was in the NICU as well being a full-term baby. So just want to check in with yourselves and see how you're feeling about listening to this. But, Nicolette, thanks so much for coming on tonight.

Speaker 3: 2:16

Thank you guys so much for having me. I'm so excited.

Speaker 2: 2:19

Yeah, so if you want to go ahead, well, first I think we should just say it's been one year to the day. Tomorrow, tomorrow, yes, but practically I was at the hospital right now, so yeah, so one year later, and we're kind of just going to be, I don't know, shedding this experience with you. So, yeah, I'm going to go ahead and tell us a little bit about you and your family.

Speaker 3: 2:45

Okay, so my name is Nicolette. As you said, I'm a labored delivery nurse here at a well-known Level One trauma center. Love my job to death. I have a daughter that's 10 years old and my son, Alec, is going to be a year old tomorrow. I always say me and my husband, but he's really my fiance. We've had a really long engagement because a lot of things have happened in our life over time, but we have been dating since I'm 19 years old and he is 22. So this year we will be celebrating 18 years together. 19 years together.

Speaker 3: 3:24

Wow 19 years together. Yeah, I met him when I was living in New York and then I moved to Virginia and I was like we got to break up, because I can't do a long distance. This is crazy. We haven't been together long enough to even make this arc. He was like we're not breaking up. I was like, okay, serge, whatever you say. I moved to Virginia and we did long distance for about three and a half years, a lot of ups and downs from it, but eventually he moved out here.

Speaker 3: 4:00

We got accidentally pregnant. I was on the pill. I was like where's my period? I got pregnant, but that pregnancy resulted in a miscarriage and then, six months, almost to the date, I was pregnant with my daughter accidentally after my mom had had a heart attack on Serge's 30th birthday. So we really know how to do strategy in my family.

Speaker 3: 4:34

And it was just like stress, sex and then, boom, I was pregnant and I was like how did that happen so fast and so easy? My pregnancy with me was super easy. I wasn't sick, I loved being pregnant. My body really likes being pregnant too and I went to 41 weeks, was induced, everything was fine. It was pretty quick labor for our first time mom. I remember getting my epidural at nine-ish in the morning and then I was complete by noon. I labor down a little bit. I pushed for an hour and a half and she was born. So totally just non-eventful, just your basic delivery. Breast dad loved being a mom. I mean just all the things. I was like, oh my gosh, I just had a kid. I'm super hero. Look at me, I'm in here, me roar, burn the bra, all the things. Love the postpartum stage. It was so amazing with her. She was a really easy baby and everything was cool.

Speaker 3: 5:48

And then I was like I need a change in my life and I went back to school to become a labor and delivery nurse. I had a calling to it, which is anyone that knows me knows that I never like needles, blood, I know. But I was nursing her one night and I looked down at her just thinking how far we came, because the first week, two weeks of breastfeeding, was really really difficult. But then here we were, like six months later just nursing beautifully and she's like looking up at me and I had this calling like you should be a nurse, you should be a labor and delivery nurse. And I was like I don't really know that I would be good at that. Like who said that? You know, why am I getting this calling? This is strange. So the first thing I did was call my best friend, stephanie, and she answered and I was like what would you say if I told you that I wanted to go back to school to be a nurse? And she was like I would say it's about fucking time. And I was like what she's like? I've been waiting for you to come to this conclusion and I'm like why didn't you tell me I'm 27 years old? You're that old.

Speaker 3: 6:59

When I finished school. When I did it, I went to school. It was hard Surge was like a single dad for about four years, because it's just study, study, study, study, study. And I was like I'm going to work at that hospital on that labor unit. It's where I had Mina, it's where my sister had her kids. Like I'm doing it. And I did it and we talked and floated the idea around about having a second baby.

Speaker 3: 7:25

But I was in school and then it was like I'm like in my 30s, now I don't know if I want to do it. Mina's so independent. Like starting over, blah, blah, blah. And then thing that's when I gotta see the doctor In 2021, I forget around what time.

Speaker 3: 7:43

I just was, like I feel like I got floated up to the HRP unit, which is high-risk pregnancy, and basically up there it's like you have your preterm labor. Preterm labor is that we've stopped labor but we're just monitoring or premature rupture of membranes, that we're monitoring hyperemesis, getting fluid stuff like that. Any contractions or anything starts to go down. They come down to the labor and delivery unit. So I was floated up there and I just had a night where I was just like in thought and I said, oh my gosh, if I was on my deck bed. Like the one thing I would regret in my whole entire life is not having another baby. So I was like I'm going to go home and I'm going to talk to the church about having another baby and I was like deliver babies for a living.

Speaker 2: 8:34

It's like my ovaries are always like oh my God, girl, do it again.

Speaker 3: 8:39

So I went home, I went night shift, so I had to, like he went to work and I was sleeping all day. And then he came home and I had a conversation with him and I wasn't really sure how it was going to go, like what he was going to say, and I was like, you know, when I did the whole spiel about being on my deathbed, I was thinking like, maybe, maybe we should just try to have another baby. And he was like okay. And I was like, but wait a minute, did you just say okay? And he's like yeah, let's do it. And I was like, oh my God, why are you crying? I was like I totally thought you were going to fight me about it because, like, we always go back and forth. And he's like no, like I, I wanted to be. I think he wanted another baby for years, just didn't put his foot down about it. Because I was also kind of like, oh, I don't know. You know we get to travel what Mina's grown and we travel and it's easy. And then it's like newborns, diapers, strollers, like feedings, exhaustion. I don't know that I want to do that again, but I love being a mom and I love being pregnant. So I just needed kind of like the universe to like kick me in my ass and remind me about that. Plus, my daughter has been asking to be a big sister since she's like four years old. So like, imagine the shore, like piece of shit that I felt like. When I told my daughter, I was like I don't know, mina, I don't know that that's ever going to happen. Like I think that you're going to be be it, you know, like we love you and we don't need another baby. And she was like, oh, she's crying. And I was like, oh my God, oh my God. I've never met a four or five year old that wanted to be a sibling so bad, like whoa, and it's just kind of always like wait on me, like if we die she has nobody, and and she just wanted it so bad. So I'm going to take a sip of my tea.

Speaker 3: 10:33

After I had the conversation with Serge, I was like all right, well, I've been on the pill since Mina was born and now I was 36 at the time. I'm 36. Like it's probably not going to be easy. I have endometriosis now, like there's a nor or. I always had it, but then found out I had it when Mina was two and I was like it may take a while, so I'm going to stop taking the pill and like May and then we can start trying in November 2021. And then hopefully I'll get pregnant by November and maybe have the baby July 2022, whatever.

Speaker 3: 11:13

And then my period just like randomly came in the middle of my pill pack. So then I just stopped taking it because I was like what's the point? I have my period, so I'm just going to stop. So I wound up stopping taking it earlier and then I had like a bunch of periods in a month. I had a period like five days and then three days later I had another period and I'm like I'm never going to get pregnant if this doesn't like like even out.

Speaker 3: 11:38

So in the meantime I was like, hmm, I took my OB, but she delivers at this hospital. So I work at Foranova and Innova has like five hospitals. The Nova system has five hospitals in Northern Virginia and I work at Fairfax, which is the level one trauma center and is like the main medical campus. And then there's Fair Oaks, which is like 10 minutes from my house down the road. One of my sisters had her son there. Really nice hospital, really cute.

Speaker 3: 12:09

But I had this like thought like you know, if something was where to happen, we would be transferred to Fairfax anyway, so we might as well just deliver at Fairfax, like we delivered Mina.

Speaker 3: 12:25

I'll switch my OB. You know I work with these people so I know their style and how. You know how they, how they, how they are, and I wound up switching to doctor Dr Lumpal with this group I am G is amazing and I chose a guy. I went from a woman to a guy because I felt like I've watched him, I've delivered with him, I watch him interact with the dads and I really liked how involved he got the dads and I felt like this was going to be really really, really different experience because now that I'm in the field, like I had access to ultrasound so I could like get a sneak peek all the time at my son and it was just such an incredible thing that Serge never saw the only ultrasound he saw of Mina was her anatomy scan but, like with Alec, he got to see him like loading around and like all these different stages until he was just like ahead.

Speaker 3: 13:26

So, um, and you know, my co-workers, I mean, it was like it was the unit baby, like it wasn't just my baby. Everyone was so happy that I was pregnant and all this stuff. But anyway, I wound up getting pregnant very quickly. Like I had to think about when I had sex to get pregnant because I was like, how, how am I pregnant? I didn't remember having sex. Like what is going on?

Speaker 3: 13:49

So we had a trip to Puerto Rico in July of 2021 and I had Serge as a last minute packer. So literally he like came home from work and started packing and we had to leave. And I'm like, oh my God, like, what are you doing? So he's like I'm a little hungry, let me throw these frozen meatballs in the oven. And he put them in and I was like, what the fuck is that smell? What is that smell? And he's like it's the meatballs. I was like, oh my God, oh my God, it's disgusting, I'm going to throw up. And he's like what the hell Are you pregnant? I'm like you have to have sex to get pregnant. Like I'm not pregnant, you know, like.

Speaker 3: 14:24

And then it was really hard because I felt like I took a nap and I could hear him like packing his stuff. And you know when you're kind of like awake but asleep, so whatever is going on in the background kind of makes its way into your dream. I had a dream that I was napping, he was packing and I was like you know what? I'm going to take this pregnancy test. Where did I get a pregnancy? I'm like I don't have any pregnancy tests. But in my dream I was like I'm going to take this pregnancy test. And then I took it and I was pregnant. So I like shut up. I was like, do you still have to go to the store? He's like, yeah, I got to run to Target because you know Target run before our flight also, whatever. So we run to Target, I pick up a pregnancy test and I take. We get home and I take it immediately and I like look at it and I didn't see anything, so I tossed it.

Speaker 3: 15:17

We went to Puerto Rico. I was drinking, your girl was having a good time, your girl fell down the stairs. We were like a hip flight. The stairs dropped like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. No care in the world. You know like I was really tired when I was there but like we were waking up at the crack of dawn and just we were all over Puerto Rico. And then we got home. It was the next night.

Speaker 3: 15:49

I remember I had like a rage because like the next day, search is like I'm going to go hiking with your brother and I'm like we just got pulled from Puerto Rico, we need to unpack and like get ourselves ready to go back to work. You're going hiking and he's like, yeah, I'm like you're out of no sleep. He's like I'm gonna be fine. I'm like, oh my God. I was like enraged. I was like, oh, this man, I'm gonna have to unpack everything by myself. Um, he gets home. I said, cause you're gonna come home and you're going to be too tired to unpack and it's going to drive me nuts that your suitcase is going to sit there like all week. He's like, no, no, no, I'm going to do it, sure enough. He comes home, he falls asleep and I'm just like seething, I'm looking at him as seething and I started to get like lower back pain and I was like like kind of cramping and I was like, oh, I wonder where my period's to.

Speaker 3: 16:34

I probably am due for my period and I open my my app and I look at it and they're like three days or great out and it's like did you forget the longer period? And I was like, mm-hmm, hmm, that's right, I was supposed to get my period when I was in Puerto Rico and I completely forgot about that, didn't pack anything, like just completely oblivious to look to the whole thing, even though I was like list tampons, pants, like you're getting your period, you know on, just completely, or so I'm like, okay, I look at Mina, she's awake. I'm like mama has to go to the store because I don't feel good, like my stomach hurts, even though like total lie, I just didn't want her to know yet because I know what can go wrong. I didn't want her to get her excited. If you know it wasn't going to go all the way to term or whatever. So she's like okay, mama. I'm like I'm just going to go get some medicine for my tummy. She's like, okay, I drive the CVS, I pick up like four boxes of pregnancy FIP on all of them and it's like took the longest time to resolve.

Speaker 3: 17:39

And I'm like, oh my God, why am I so nervous? Like this? I'm either pregnant or I'm not pregnant. Like why am I nervous? It's not like I was like you know, I wasn't trying and boom, it said pregnant and I just was like, oh my God, oh my God, I wake up, serge. And I'm like Serge, serge, and he's like. I'm like, he's like, oh, okay, I felt like to sleep and I'm like, oh my God, so I send me to sleep, I go to sleep. I mean I texted his sister, I texted my best friends and they were like, oh my God, and it's like it was really early, like so I had no right to texting anybody, but I was like so excited In the morning he was getting ready for bed and I I don't know why I was up, because me and my mom were like oh, I, I don't know why I was up because Mina didn't have school, but I was up for something. And he comes into the bathroom and he's like was I dreaming or are you pregnant? And I was like I'm pregnant. And he was like oh my God. And I was like I know he was like when I'm like out, oh, but I think I think I was pregnant.

Speaker 3: 19:00

I was in the process of being pregnant on my way to Puerto Rico and I think my test was positive. I just didn't wait long enough because it was the lines, because the first one that I took was a line and it was barely there and I almost threw it out and then I was like, wait a minute, what is that? And it was the line. So I'm like thank God I wouldn't have done half the things If it was in Puerto Rico. And I know, and you know, I just would have been like, nope, I'm not jumping off of that.

Speaker 3: 19:22

And so the water, you crazy, I'm pregnant, like I'm not doing that. So I was like this poor kid, I fell down a flight of stairs it's just poor little fetus and like bump, bump, bump, bump all over my dress. So we're like, okay, we're not telling Mina right now, we're going to wait. I bought like the cute shirts from Etsy, like big sister, finally, and only child crossed out, big sister, you know, like all those things. And we waited till I hit 13 weeks and we told her and she just was like over the moon, excited. I again have never seen a child be so happy to be getting a sibling.

Speaker 2: 20:13

I cannot believe you waited that long. I was hard to keep it a secret from your child that long? Well, it was I wasn't, I wasn't sick.

Speaker 3: 20:23

You know, I had really a really easy pregnancy with Alec too, Like I wasn't sick and she didn't know. She just one day was like I had some white claws in the fridge that were going ignored. And she's like Mama, you're not drinking these anymore. It's been a long time. And I was like you are correct, it has been. And she's like why? And I'm like why is my daughter so observant, Like what is? What is her problem? And I just said, you know, I just haven't been like in the mood. I've been working. I can't, you know, drink those if I have to go to work.

Speaker 3: 21:01

So and she's like and she just closed the door and I was like whoa crisis averted right.

Speaker 3: 21:11

So after I told her that was maybe August or September, I was at work one night and I we just had so many demises at one time and it was heartbreaking to sit there I mean being pregnant. They never assigned me the demises but you know, hearing these women just crying so broken, the pain in their screams and their cries, it was like it was a lot. And I'm like you know, I knew things could go wrong in pregnancies before I was a labor and delivery nurse. But then you then you know all the things that can go wrong and you're just like this is so horrible to work here while you're pregnant because like there are some really good days, there are some really shitty days, and you just go home and you take that with you and you're thinking of these families and these babies and you just can't shake it. It was around that time I had blood at work, not like active red bleeding but like more of like old kind of chocolatey blood on milk. But it was a lot. It was a lot enough where I absolutely panicked, broke into tears immediately because I was like I just told Nina that we were having a baby. Like this isn't going to be just my loss. It's going to be her loss too, and I don't know if I can handle that.

Speaker 3: 22:47

Yeah, so my hospital has an OBED that's separate from the emergency department. So there's the ER and then there's OBED. So the ER will literally send a pregnant woman. If she has a flu, they're going to send her to us, even though they can absolutely treat her, but because she's pregnant, they're going to send her to us. So I just went I was working and I didn't have a patient, I just discharged my patient, went to the bathroom, saw this, freaked out, went down to OBED and got checked out and they're just like maybe it was a sub sub dory, hematoma sub dory. Now I'm having a brain fart. It's just like a previous hemorrhage, like in your uterine lining that like your body just wound up like dumping out. At this time my water wasn't broken, I wasn't actively bleeding, ultrasound was good, alec was good, but they're like take it easy, subchorionic hemorrhage, that's the word. Thank you, brain, take it easy. So I was like home for five days, but I was really, really nervous because I was like this could be a precursor, like this. I could be losing this pregnancy and this is just like the beginning. But over the days it resolved and everything was better and I didn't really think much of it after that because there was no need.

Speaker 3: 24:08

Somewhere in my second pregnancy, second trimester, I started to develop this feeling that I could not shake and I always said, like I said I'm afraid I'm going to die in labor. But it wasn't like oh, I'm afraid, like I'm afraid my plane is going to crash because I'm afraid of flying. It was like a knowing. It felt like I knew that this was going to happen. And I was walking the plank almost like every day after that and I remember me and my OB would sometimes get half of my appointments done at work because we would just talk.

Speaker 3: 24:48

You'd be like are you like, are you doing this, are you doing that? And I'm like yeah. So he's like how are you feeling? I was like I mean, I feel good, I'm tired, but I feel good.

Speaker 3: 24:55

But I just I can't shake this feeling that I may be I'm going to die in labor. And he looks at me and we're both New Yorkers and he's like why would you say that? I'm like? Well, you asked me how I was feeling and that's what I'm feeling. So I feel like you should know that I have this feeling that something is going to happen to me in labor. And he's like I mean, what are you supposed to do with that?

Speaker 3: 25:20

Like I wasn't like oh yeah, this is going to happen, exactly. It was just this, like like I could say fear, but it wasn't a fear. It was just this like I just had this premonition. And I think about my pregnancy with Mina and I'm like I was very anxious during my pregnancy with Mina because I had lost my pregnancy before, so I was terrified that I was going to lose her, but I didn't have this feeling that I'm having now. This is completely different. I told anybody that would listen. My coworkers knew my sister, my mom, serge, not my daughter, but my friends, they knew I was like I have this feeling. I just I don't know. I feel like something's gonna happen, did you?

Speaker 1: 26:10

have anxiety about that. Like you know the feelings of anxiety around that too, it wasn't really like anxiety.

Speaker 3: 26:22

I didn't feel calm about it, but I didn't feel super anxious about it because I didn't have any reason to believe that something was gonna happen to me. I didn't have any reason to believe I was going to have a near-miss, like I was healthy. The only thing was I was advanced maternal age, at 36. Like I'm old, but otherwise. Like I was with MFM. Just like I was like I'm old, like, but otherwise like I was with MFM or follow up because I was 36. I had to get more ultrasounds with them to make sure that my placenta was okay and that Alec was growing. So I had a couple of extra ultrasounds but everything was fine. Like they were like you're completely healthy, healthy pregnancy, healthy mom, blah, blah, blah, whatever. And so I just was like you know, I had that feeling but it was just kind of like well, what Other than like an AFE, like what could possibly happen? So I got in my mind like maybe, maybe I think I'm going to have an AFE when I deliver, like I don't know.

Speaker 3: 27:21

You know, afe is an amniotic fluid embolism, so it's basically typically happens like right at delivery or right after delivery, maternal blood and amniotic fluid mixes and some people's bodies have like an extreme allergic reaction to that and it just causes a cascade of horrible things happening Multi-organ failure, stroke, dic, like bleeding and clotting at the same time. Yeah, it's a horrible, horrible thing. Actually, on Instagram, when I started having this feeling, I started following Kaylee, the birth trauma mama, and then I came across another AFE survivor who Kathy Garrett, and she has the Birth Trauma Stories podcast and we, like Kaylee's platform has grown exponentially so you can't really form like a close, close relationship with her, but she's very good about like answering messages and stuff like that and she's like a therapist too, so she's got a lot going on and Kathy has her. You know she's still dealing with the side effects from her AFE, so she's home and she does her podcast. So we've developed a closer relationship after everything happened to me.

Speaker 3: 28:43

But I started following these things along with my pregnancy, just like educating myself, because I haven't come across an AFE at work and the one AFE that did happen I wasn't there when it happened, so I didn't get to see it, I didn't see how anyone on the unit handled it. I just wasn't working that day. And then I also followed Tila, the T on birth trauma, but she didn't have an AFE and I just I don't know, I just started following something, just told me to just start following these pages and I did and just educating myself on like AFE and I was telling Serge like it happened so fast. So if I'm like, oh my God, you know, like there, that's it, like things are going to start rolling and everything's going to be horrible.

Speaker 3: 29:30

And he was just like where are you?

Speaker 2: 29:33

showing me this.

Speaker 3: 29:34

And I'm like, because you need to know, like you need to know that this could happen, like this is one of the things that could happen to me, and he just was like, okay, you know again, what are you supposed to do about that? But I had almost like this frantic, like I need to gather information on these things because something's going to happen whether it's an AFE or something else, I don't know and what happened to me I didn't even know could happen. So, you know, time went on, everything's fine. I was getting bigger and bigger and bigger. And then January 2022 rolls around and that's when everything just really went to like hell in a hand basket. Like I took Serge away for his 40th birthday like three hours to the mountains. We had a beautiful weekend together, came back that night we missed the snowstorm there, but got it in Northern Virginia. He took Mina's sledding and he wound up tearing his spinal cord so he was leaking. He has spinal tear. That was leaking spinal cord for five days before he would.

Speaker 3: 30:40

Let me take him to the hospital because he's a man and men do not listen to their wives that are nurses, but they're telling them that something is wrong and I think he looks like seven months pregnant and the ER with him after just working a three in a row and his job was like COVID because he had this crazy headache and they're like COVID, covid. And they saw him like you don't sound like you have COVID, you sound like you have a spinal headache. Did you hit your head when you were like sledding? I hit my head. I'm like are you sure? Did you hit your back? Like you know, it's all connected. So like he must have hit something. You know, if it's traveling, he's like I just hit my ass. I told you I hit my ass. But he said he hit his ass so hard. He saw like colors and the pain was like so bad and all the stuff.

Speaker 3: 31:33

So once all the tests came back negative, I was like that's it, we're going, like I don't care, we're going. And I took them to Fair Oaks because it was closer. Fair Facts, ed is just like so busy. So we got seen right away at Fair Oaks and it was just really funny because they were like in the chart. I was like reading his chart and he was like wife at bedside, labor and delivery nurse, wife at bedside and no, but nurse, wife is a nurse, nurse, nurse, nurse, nurse.

Speaker 3: 32:02

Because they, they, you know, sometimes I experienced very often when I go to like urgent cares or whatever doctors just kind of dismissive, they don't know you, they don't know your history. So they were kind of trying to say that he was having, he has a history of migraine. So they're saying it's a migraine and I was like I can understand why you would think that, but this is not a migraine. He hasn't had a migraine for five days ever and like his migraines, he can't. He could stand up with his. He's not standing up for more than two minutes before he's in excruciating pain. He doesn't have a migraine. Wife at bedside nurse.

Speaker 3: 32:32

But they you know just like kind of like in between. Read him between the lines. He's being difficult, but I wasn't being difficult. I knew he didn't have a migraine and they took a first CT scan and we found out that he had the spinal tear and I just looked at him and I was like so why do you think I got an education in nursing?

Speaker 3: 32:53

Like, why don't you listen to me when I say things Like I know I deliver babies, but I know other things too? Like so it's, that's how it started off and it was super stressful. And then we had just it was just a series of unfortunate events moving last minute, having to live in a hotel for two weeks because of a housing like lapse, and it just was a lot. And I remember feeling at the time like I can almost laugh at it now because I felt like at that time it was like the worst thing that I was going through. It's like I'm pregnant, I'm like doing three weeks. We are not. We don't even have a place to live Like we were in the middle of signing. So I just and he was so stressed out, poor guy, he was so stressed out, I would like sob in the car and just like drive and be in a school.

Speaker 3: 33:44

And I wound up going on maternity leave two weeks early because I was like we got into the condo and we just had to start getting ready and it was like a mad rush and I mean there's so much work that needed to be done and I could only do but so much because I was large and in charge and I could not, you know, hang. I'm like I need to break my back and my Braxton Hicks started out like 16 weeks so like if I was overdoing it, like I would start cramping like a lot. So we were getting ready, talked with my OB. The plan was I said I don't want to wait to 41 weeks For Mina, I would love to go into labor on my own. But I kind of like the idea of the controlled induction and having a little bit of say over like what is happening and I'm just so happy that I did this. So he was like, okay, we'll do set 39s. So my date was 325.

Speaker 3: 34:46

And I was like let's start my induction at night of 323 because then I'll have Alec on 324, which is my dad's birthday. So my dad and Alec will have the same birthday and that's so cool. And my dad was like digging it and my doctoral impel was going to let Serge help deliver Alec. So once he started crowning coming out, serge was going to be waiting there with the serigloves in a gown and he was going to help him guide Alec out and put him onto my chest and I was like, oh my God, it's going to be the Lion King. We're going to be like, oh, so nice. And then we had this whole beautiful plan and my sister was my doula. So she was present because we had opened back up to have three people in the rooms, because it was like it's 2022. People were getting more lax with COVID, but then the numbers went back up, so they put it back down to one sportsman and a doula. So I was like my sister's my doula.

Speaker 1: 35:49

Wink, wink.

Speaker 3: 35:52

And nobody was going to say anything. You're like, yay, yay, your sister's your doula. So we just had I remember wanting Mina to be there and then I was like you know, it's probably better if she's not because Doppler bit, something happens like a stat C section or something. I don't want her to see that Like. It could be really, you know, even if it's just no, we're just going back because babies, you know, not looking that great, we're just going to go back. It can be very rushed, looked at from the outside and be really scary. So I was like I don't want her to be there if something like that happens. And whatever.

Speaker 3: 36:36

323 came at this time last year I was on my unit starting my induction. My coworkers decorated my room. I don't know if you guys had seen any of the reels that I did on Instagram, but they decorate my room so beautifully for Alec and that room was just like I had great deliveries in that room. I was, I loved it and it was a straight shot to the OR, straight shot, like a 30 second run to the OR, if not less, and I just was like this is a great spot and the night was like super uneventful. I was walking around the unit with my coworkers. It was like I couldn't get out of work mode too. You know, I was like I'm not with that tracing. I'm not doing it, do you want?

Speaker 2: 37:19

me to go in and flip her. She's like, yeah, I'll go in and my house will get out, I don't care.

Speaker 3: 37:23

And then Serge was like kind of tired and I was like I'm just going to go hang out at the nurse's station, Like I'm like I can't sleep. But I can't sleep, Like I took Benadryl, everything I just could have sleep. So I'm sitting there in my gown and like my hospital band and we're just all talking and we're hanging out and my coworkers and they're like rubbing on my belly and they're like Alec, you can do it, Come out. And I was walking around the unit and every time I had like a little contraction, my coworker like lift my belly ups or leave, like sure. And I was like ah, so great.

Speaker 3: 37:56

And eventually I guess I fell asleep and my hips started real, those labor beds are not it, you know, like for you go in, have your baby and leave, because the like more beds are not comfortable. I remember like waking up, like oh my gosh. And I like went out, was like where's Jamie? Jamie on our unit is just like goddess when it comes to like spinning babies and stuff like that. I'm like I need sideline release because my hips they feel like they're stacked on top of each other and it hurts so much. So she came, she did some sideline release on me and I mean it, just that feeling that I had had was gone. I felt safe, I felt taken care of, I felt so blissful, I mean, and I just was like, I had my two journals my journal that I started for out when I was pregnant and the journal that I started for Mina when I first found out I was pregnant for her.

Speaker 3: 38:51

Like I still write in that journal and I'm just writing all these things like here's gonna be a big sister tomorrow. Click it out. Like I'm so excited to meet you, I can't wait. This delivery is going to be so beautiful, like I just was. It was almost like I was. So you know, ignorance is bliss. I was like. It was like I was a first time mom and I had no idea of all the things that could happen. I was floating on cloud nine. It was amazing.

Speaker 3: 39:17

And then morning came and I said bye to my night shift girls and then my day shift girls came on and we were like hey, you know all the things. And I remember I bought dinner for night shift. So there was like took the life for night shifts and in the morning there was, like, I say, bagels and there was a spread and everybody was so happy and like it was, it was great. And then my sister came and we were just talking and here they checked me and I wasn't really far along and I'm like that's weird because this is my second baby. I mean I know it's been like nine years, but I've delivered people who've had babies 12 years later and they've just fallen out of them and like my body has done this before.

Speaker 3: 39:54

Like why am I not I'm not dilating. Like why am I actually getting the six doses of phytosaccharide right now? Like I didn't think that I would be the one getting all the dose of phytosaccharide. So my GYN came in and chit chatting, talked about a plan it's like I'm going to check you. I was like, okay, check me. And I was like we're not doing that again. So I have my hip and I'm like what the hell that hurts so much. Like I'm sorry. He's like you're like one centimeter and I was like what?

Speaker 3: 40:25

He's like yeah, he's like we could have a Foley balloon. I was like, miss me with that. We're not doing a fucking Foley balloon. I told no Foley. But he says it because he knew that I didn't want it. So he's like, yeah, we'll do a Foley balloon. I'm like, fuck, we aren't. So he starts laughing. He was like do you want to start? Do you want to try cervidinology?

Speaker 3: 40:43

I was like let's just start pit. Because I was like I didn't know what. I knew back then. I don't know how many doses of cytosaccharide I got. I don't remember even taking them. You know, so long ago I remember being on pit, then breaking my water, me screaming my head off, getting my epidural, and then everything took off after I got my epidural. So I was like here's what we're going to do, we're going to start the pit. So he's like, ok, pharmacy takes forever To. I don't know. I don't remember what happened, but there was like no pit on the unit. We usually have it right in the unit. We could just go into the med room and grab it. There was no pit on the unit. They were waiting for pharmacies send up.

Speaker 3: 41:19

It took like two hours, which I wasn't complaining. I was like doing my stretches, bouncing on the ball sending videos to my friends. I was like where's Alec at one o'clock in the afternoon and I'm like bouncing on my ball Like he's still inside of me. But I kept thinking to myself. So, different from Mina, I already had my epidural. I would have had her in an hour. Like this is crazy. It's like taking so long. But I was happy to enjoy the ride and I saw that my neighbor was having some issues with her tracing so I was like I'm cool, just not doing anything right now. Like let me just hang low like I'd been doing. It was totally fine. And then my finally pit was brought up and it was started. That's bowl jegaï Smoothie rings.

Speaker 3: 42:07

I started to feel like my contractions getting a little more painful. I said I want to get my epidural where I still have control on myself. I don't want to wait until I'm screaming, like I was for a minute. I remember how much pain I was in and thinking to myself there's no way I'm going to be able to wait 45 minutes for this epidural. I can't. I'm in so much pain. I see it every day at work. I just didn't want to cross that line and I felt like all right, this is a really great time for me to get my epidural Like I'm feeling them, I'm kind of breathing through them, but they're not super unbearable. I have to stop what I'm doing but I'm handling it, which like go be, because I am such a star when it comes to pain.

Speaker 3: 42:49

Like I'm like stop my toe, knock me out, just wake me up when it's over. I can't. So I hit my call bell and Danielle, who was my co-worker friend and was my nurse, came in and was like what's up? I was like I think I'm ready for my epidural, so let's start bolusing me. So she's like okay, so we have to get like a liter of fluids in halfway through. We call it anesthesiologist and that lead, that bolus, is kind of like a body trick to like help, try to help prevent your blood pressure from tanking after you get an epidural. So I was already bolusing. I was like we'll keep going up on the pit, it's fine. So she's like okay, cool.

Speaker 3: 43:30

So then Dr Lempel came in and was like hey, it's like three o'clock, do you want to like check, see where you are? I was like no, you're going to wait till I have my epidural. But here's the plan I'm going to get my epidural, we're still going up on the pit. Once I'm feeling good, you can come check me, break my water and we'll have a baby. And he was like cool, I got to go do a C-section, I'll be back. And I'm like awesome. And I just loved how much freedom. I had to make the choices Like what dose of side-attack do you want? Do you want 50? Do you want 25? Do you want world? Do you want vaginal? Like I really was leading and directing my labor and I really was really, really happy about that. You know, if anything had happened and you know a conversation needs to be had, dr Lumpal would put that hat on and he would say listen, no bullshit Like this is what has to happen. But it was easy pregnancy. I was very, very low risk. I was not put on monitors to monitor Alec until they started me on pit. So they checked me like every four hours to the spot check to make sure he was okay. He was great, he had a beautiful trace, everything was perfect. Everything was great.

Speaker 3: 44:45

And my sister had said later we were having a conversation about something she said it's seared in my brain and I'll never forget it, because you were getting up to go to the bathroom and you said the truth of the matter is I could deliver a debt, baby right now. That's just the nature of this unit and she's and that was like one of the last kind of crazy things I said before everything happened. And she said I'll never forget you saying that, because then everything happened and it was like what the fuck? So I got to go to the bathroom. I was like, oh, I'm bleeding a little bit, that's great Cervical change, yay, woo, you know, like all the things. And I remember being on the toilet like, ooh, that was a good one, that was a good contraction. I'm probably going to be like, but I'm stentometer is no way. We come out of the bathroom.

Speaker 3: 45:39

Serge was like pulling the pole for me so I can walk and I get to the foot of the bed. So the bed was in an opposition called throne, so the back is all the way up and the foot of the bed is dropped. And we sat me in that position because Alec had like a little dip at one point. So I was like no, no, no, kid, you are not doing that. Like put me in throne, I don't know what this can do right now. Like no.

Speaker 3: 46:00

So I was like I'm going to get the bed ready for the epidural, like you know, because Danielle doesn't have to come get the bed ready. I know how to get the bed ready. So I'm just going to be sitting in the position when everybody walks in like I'm ready for my epidural Cause again. It's hard to get out of work mode, like I was a patient, but I was like am I, though I'm still a labor and laborious. So whatever I was able to do, like I didn't touch my pump at all, because I know I shouldn't do that, you know, like I just like I could do the bed and I had the peanut ball. You guys seen a peanut ball? You love the peanut ball, I love it. I wish I had the chance to use it, because they never was used on me for Mina and she came out like asynchlytic, like her cap it right here on the side of her head. It just like left me. But you know, nine years ago it wasn't as big a thing as it is now.

Speaker 1: 46:51

Yeah.

Speaker 3: 46:53

Um. So I was standing at the foot of the bed. I picked up the peanut ball and I gave it to my sister and she was like what is this? And I'm like it's a peanut ball. And she's like oh my God, what are you doing with this? I'm like we're going to be using that a lot once I get my epidural because I won't be able to get a bed. But we have to, you know, turn and stuff like that and keep baby engaged, bring him down, open that pelvis Like it's going to help. You're going to see the amazing things that this ball does. And she's like great, where should, what should I do with it? And I'm like just put it over there.

Speaker 3: 47:26

So this room the reason why I chose this room is so cool. It was a corner room and it has like a little foyer so like when I get my epidural, my sister can step out into the foyer instead of like standing in the hallway and she could sit down. It was a sofa and then as soon as you walk in to your immediate left, there's like a huge bathroom and then they're like the, the welcome whiteboard and it had like all my information on. It. Was like natural childbirth and my friends crossed it out and they were like hell, no, and it was like epidural hell. Yeah, you know, it was really cute. And then, like straight ahead, as soon as you walk in, you see the labor bed and across from the labor bed so if you're laying like this, there's the baby alcove, so there's where the warmer is and baby gets weighed over there and everything like that. And then there's, like just you know, cabinets and supplies and stuff like that. So my, I told her, put it there into the baby alcove. So she, she took the ball and she turned and I was like ow, but it was like the kind of how, like I screamed so loud I did not recognize my own voice, like I heard it and I knew that I produced it, but I didn't recognize myself. And that's when I was like the set. This is what I said was going to happen, it's happy.

Speaker 3: 48:48

Now, unbeknownst to me, I had felt those three sharp pains that Sunday when I was working so hard. I thought I was going into labor. Like my back was hurting, I was cramping a lot, but I was dehydrated and I remember getting three peaks in my side, thinking like oh gas, oh, my God gas. And I think I know it's actually on FaceTime with my best friend when it happened and I think it was a warning shot. I'm just so happy that it didn't do what it did while I was at home because I wouldn't be here speaking to you guys right now. So I had the three sharp pains and I healed over onto the bed.

Speaker 3: 49:35

I remember hearing my voice being so shaking and say something's not right. The pain was gone, but I just felt not right. Some of it gets blurred because I remember hearing Thursday do you want me to get your nurse and me saying yes? Or maybe I pulled the core bell out of the wall? When you pull the cord, forget it. Everybody comes running.

Speaker 3: 49:58

I don't know how, but all of a sudden everybody was in my room and when I say everybody, everybody, I'm back at work now and the newer girls that were on orientation or just off orientation, they were like the north side was deserted Because something was going on with my neighbor and me, and Danielle was my nurse for that girl too. So there was two things going on at once. So she had somebody else take care of her and she came into my room and I screamed turn off the pit because I knew it wasn't the pitocin. So I'm like, take that off the table, turn off the pit. And then I was in my head trying to diagnose myself. I'm like, all right, it's not my blood sugar because I've been eating. So it's not my blood sugar. And I said it has to be my blood pressure. But why? Why is my blood pressure dropping? My blood pressure has to be dropping because I was feeling like dizzy, I felt nauseous.

Speaker 3: 50:54

They gave me the blue bag and I was like, and then all of a sudden I couldn't see anymore. And I remember holding onto my coworker's shoulders and looking. I'm looking right at her. I know I'm looking at her and I'm like I can't see you. I just can't see you, I can't see you. And then I just start seeing everything that I'm feeling. I'm like my vision is very pixelated, like it was squares, like it's pixelated, and it's like I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like I'm pixelated and it's pink and I can't see, I can't see anything. And they were like OK, nikola, let's get you on the bed. Let's let's get you on the bed.

Speaker 3: 51:40

And I remember getting to the foot of the bed it's a bed was still in the wrong position and I just collapsed onto it. I just couldn't hold up my body weight anymore. I felt like cement was running through my veins and I guess Alec had come off the monitor and looked at his tracing and it's very bad. It's very, very horrible. Beautiful heart rate. I know exactly when my artery. What wound up happening was my spleen artery ruptured, but we didn't know that at the time. So it's just like beautiful heart rate.

Speaker 3: 52:15

And then just straight down, just straight down 50s. Normal heart rate for a baby is one 10, between between one 10 and one 60. And sure, when people are in labor, baby's heart rate stipped but they come back up. And he was trying, he couldn't because you know, it's to everybody I was hemorrhaging internally. So if I'm hemorrhaging he is not getting blood, he is not getting oxygen. So at some point he came off the monitor and they were like we got to let you down.

Speaker 3: 52:47

And I remember I don't know if I said it or I was trying to say it because I was so weak. I was like I can't. So Serge and Danielle picked me up and like got me into the bed. They were doing all the things. I was really bullsing for me at the door because that's like one thing Okay, shut the pit, increase the fluids, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn, turn. You know all the hands and knees, like all the things they gave me to your butyline, which is a medication that stops contractions, but I was like it's not, I'm not abrupting, like I wasn't contracting, like that. To be abrupting Like this is not an abruption. Something else is going on, like what is it? And you know, and I'm just like thinking this in my head. So I was living in two worlds at the same time. Like on the outside, I was like oh, and I was like dying. On the inside, I'm like what the fuck?

Speaker 3: 53:38

I didn't know, enough and I'm like yelling and I'm burying myself up here but, like externally, I couldn't respond. I was having a really difficult time. I guess at some point my nurse called my OB and was like the galette is in a six minute decel and he's like call the 24. And the 24 was Dr Silas and I remember working with him when I was a new grad and I was like I don't like Dr Silas. And then I didn't really work with him very often after that.

Speaker 3: 54:14

So when he walked, in and he was like hey, nicolette, it's Dr Silas in my head. I'm like that's motherfucking being so nice to me, like how dare? He's never nice to me, you know. And I'm like what? But on the outside I'm like I can't breathe, like something is wrong. And he didn't know what was going on. But he had told me later, like when he walked in and he saw me, he knew that it was not good because I did not look like myself. I was very, very pale. And when he heard me say that I can't see, he was like something really horrible is happening right now. So he wound up checking me. He said I was three centimeters. In my head I was the rate of getting centimeters, that's it. The blood is going on right now. But on the outside I was like you know. So I had a lot of like duality happening in that moment. It was very, very is weird. Like I could look back and laugh at what was going on up here because for a while I was very much myself and very like with it here. Yeah, so he was like okay, three centimeters, give me amniocalc, I'm breaking her water.

Speaker 3: 55:31

The reasoning behind that was, if it's an abruption, this is going to come out bloody and then we know what it is and we're rushing back for a C-section. Fluid was clear, so he's like clear fluid. They're like all right, he would put an FSC because they couldn't get Alex Hart rate, like I heard it, and I remember hearing how low it was because I, like your treat, like I'm trained to, I don't have to look to know. That is not 110. That is not 135. That is at least 70 or 60 or 50. That is low. And they put the FSC on At some point. I remember hearing search say, nick, you're scaring me, and hearing my sister say what's happening.

Speaker 3: 56:16

But everybody was so focused on like how did this turn around so quickly? What happened? What is going on? So everyone was focused on me and Alex. Nobody was like talking to a surgeon Monique, my sister and that happens sometimes in emergency situations. Our priority is our patient and oftentimes we forget to talk to.

Speaker 3: 56:37

But these are things that I've told surge before. This could happen. This could happen. You know, like, stay out of the way and if they need your help, help. And he did. And he stood there and he watched and he watched as the life was draining from my body and my lips were turning blue. I didn't know that I looked like this, but this is what he said I looked like and I remember laying on my back and they always say that like your life flashes before your eyes when you die or are dying. And I don't. I don't know that that really happened to me, but I had this memory being in nursing school and my path of physiology teacher saying when your patient says that they're dying, you believe them. And that's when I was like I need to let them know that I'm dying, because I know that I'm dying but they don't know that I'm dying and if I'm dying, then my son is dying.

Speaker 1: 57:42

Thanks everyone for listening to Nicolette's birth story. Again, this was a rebroadcast, so you can listen to part two and three in earlier episodes, and we'll be back next week with a brand new birth story. So don't forget to subscribe, share and connect with us on social media. Thank you for joining us on this episode of the Golden Hour Birth podcast. We hope you've enjoyed our discussion and found it insightful and beneficial. Remember, the Golden Hour Birth podcast is made possible by the support of listeners like you. If you appreciate the content we bring you each week, consider leaving us a review on your favorite podcast platform or sharing the show with your friends and family. Your support helps us reach more people and continue creating valuable episodes.

Speaker 1: 58:28

If you have any questions, suggestions or topics you'd like us to cover in future episodes, we'd love to hear from you. You can reach us on our website, wwwgoldenhourbirthpodcast, or connect with us on social media. We value your feedback and want to make sure that we're delivering the content you want to hear. Before we sign off, we'd like to express our gratitude to our incredible guests who joined us today. We are honored that they trust us enough to be so open and vulnerable. We're grateful for their time and willingness to share their stories with us. If you're interested in taking the conversation further with us, join us on our Facebook group, the Golden Hour Birth Circle. We'll be back next week with another exciting episode, so be sure to tune in. Until then, stay golden and remember to take care of yourself. We'll catch you on the next episode of the Golden Hour Birth Podcast. Bye.