Have you ever felt like a passenger in your own life's journey, especially during something as monumental as childbirth? Beth, a seasoned nurse turned doula, opens up about her transformation from feeling disempowered in her first birth experience to taking the reins in her second. Her story isn't just about the arrival of a new life but a mother's reclaiming of her voice and strength within the healthcare system.
Wrapping things up, we celebrate the incredible transformation from labor nurse to midwife to doula, an intimate look at the evolution of self-advocacy and empowerment in childbirth. Birth stories come alive with tales of empowerment and the pivotal support that shapes them.
Connect with Beth on Instagram here!
To sign up for our newsletter visit our website and blog: www.goldenhourbirthpodcast.com
Follow Liz on Instagram here and Natalie here
Follow us on Facebook here.
Have you ever felt like a passenger in your own life's journey, especially during something as monumental as childbirth? Beth, a seasoned nurse turned doula, opens up about her transformation from feeling disempowered in her first birth experience to taking the reins in her second. Her story isn't just about the arrival of a new life but a mother's reclaiming of her voice and strength within the healthcare system.
Wrapping things up, we celebrate the incredible transformation from labor nurse to midwife to doula, an intimate look at the evolution of self-advocacy and empowerment in childbirth. Birth stories come alive with tales of empowerment and the pivotal support that shapes them.
Connect with Beth on Instagram here!
To sign up for our newsletter visit our website and blog: www.goldenhourbirthpodcast.com
Follow Liz on Instagram here and Natalie here
Follow us on Facebook here.
What happens when healthcare falls short for new moms? In this episode, we speak with Beth, a nurse, midwife turned doula and childbirth educator, who experienced two very different births. Her first was a series of frustrating interventions that left her feeling disempowered. Her second was a fast, ecstatic birth that gave her back a sense of control. Beth's story highlights a key question how can the healthcare system better support new mothers through the life-changing journey of childbirth? Stick around to hear how Beth took back her power over her birth experiences, learned to advocate for herself and now provides guidance to other mothers looking to do the same. The Golden Hour Birth Podcast a podcast about real birth stories and creating connections through our shared experiences. Childbirth isn't just about the child. It's about the person who gave birth, their lives, their wisdom and their empowerment. We're Liz and Natalie, the Golden Hour Birth Podcast, and we're here to laugh with you, cry with you and hold space for you. Welcome to the Golden Hour Birth.
Speaker 2:Podcast. I am your co-host Liz, and I'm your co-host Natalie, and tonight we have Beth in Wisconsin all in. Thanks so much for joining us, beth.
Speaker 3:Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so if you wanna go ahead and tell listeners a little bit about you and your family, yeah, so my name is Beth Connors.
Speaker 3:I am married to my husband of almost five or actually it's over five years, almost six years. We have two little girls three and a half and 17 months and I am in Wisconsin, so I am a midwife as well. I am a childbirth educator and a doula, so I'm not currently practicing in the hospital right now, but I am a certified nurse midwife so I am able to practice in all settings. But I've kinda switched in the last year and a half, after having my second baby, to supporting moms in whatever birth setting they want, as more of a doula and a childbirth educator. So that's what I'm doing right now, the last year and a half.
Speaker 2:I love it so much under that umbrella. Yes, I mean quite specific. So if you wanna kind of go into starting a family and then what your first pregnancy was like, yeah, so people would always question me when we did start our family.
Speaker 3:Because I was in nursing school, so I was younger and my husband and I had been married for a few years, both in graduate school. I was in nursing school and we decided that we wanted to have our kids when we were younger, no matter where we were in our lives. So I was in nursing school, finishing up nursing school January of 2020, and we had my first daughter and we didn't have trouble getting pregnant or anything. We were very blessed in that way. So things happened fairly quickly and I gave birth to her six months before I graduated from nursing school.
Speaker 3:But that experience was not at all what I expected it to be being in nursing school and feeling like I had an edge on other people that maybe didn't know anything about medical care. I was in a maternity care class, actually that we were learning the same things that were going on in my pregnancy, like week by week. It was worked out that way. So I thought for sure, by the time I had my baby in January, that I would just be ready for anything and I was prepared with hospital birth classes and reading books and things. But then everything kind of unfolded in ways that I wasn't necessarily expecting, so that was a surprise for sure.
Speaker 2:Yeah, how was your pregnancy over? How were you feeling?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I felt great, low risk, no complications, anything like that Was doing crazy nursing school hours, so was really fine. Yeah, I didn't have any issues there and went up until actually it was like a few weeks I had off of winter break and then I had her within the first couple of weeks of the winter or like the first semester, the spring semester. So that was a little bit challenging trying to jump back into school but, yeah, made it work out and even despite all the things that happened which I can definitely talk about too so I was like I wasn't. So I was in nursing school and I was commuting, so it was a two hour drive to class and the day of my it was only like three times a week or two or three times a week, so it's kind of like a part time gig. At that point I was like a hybrid, but I always arranged for my prenatal appointments to be like on my way to class because it was like the halfway point of where I was. So it was like a 50 minute drive to my prenatal appointment at 39 and six and I was seeing a midwife at the time and I loved her, she was great and I actually just had a few appointments before that. She had told me that she doesn't do deliveries, she only sees clinic patients. So that was like a red flag at that point. But we were just going to stick with it because it was only a few more weeks.
Speaker 3:But I got there at 39 and six and she asked me everything was normal. I was feeling like tightening in my belly no pain, no contractions, no signs of labor with my first baby. So I really didn't know what to expect. And she's like can we check your cervix? And I'm like no, I don't want that. I feel like that's not something that I necessarily would need until I go into labor. And she kind of we talked about it for a little bit and she's like are you sure? Like it's just nice to know where you're at? You're almost at your due date. I think my induction was already scheduled for some time in 41 weeks. So she kind of wanted to know where I was at. And I just was going to be that compliant patient and agreed. And she checked my cervix and I was almost seven centimeters without a single contraction. I had no idea anything, no idea.
Speaker 3:And that meeting that I was supposed to go to was a preparation for the NCLEX, which is like that nursing board examination. And they said my school said if I didn't attend that class that I couldn't take the NCLEX when I wanted to in a few months. So I would have to wait like an extra six months. So I was determined to go to that class. So I remember asking her can I just go to that? It's an hour drive, can I come back, whatever? And she said absolutely not. You have to go into labor and delivery and we're going to get you all hooked up and you're going to have this baby tonight. And that was at, I want to say it was like four o'clock in the afternoon. So I was admitted.
Speaker 3:My husband was also in graduate school and he was over an hour away as well. So I call him. I'm seven centimeters and, of course, like we knew a little bit, little bit, so we knew we only had to get to 10. So I was definitely over halfway there and so he's rushing. We didn't, I didn't have anything packed, like I had no idea. So he stopped. He stopped at our apartment, he got the bag. We actually had a rabbit at the time that, like we had, he had to like go give to somebody else. So he took the rabbit to my parents house, so that was like his priorities at the time. And then he got to the hospital and they had already given me my IV, hooked me up to the monitor and then as soon as he got there, they broke my bag of water because they said you're already dilated, like let's just have a baby.
Speaker 3:I think I labored for like 10 hours more after that and as soon as they broke my bag of water it was like an instant, like I told you, I didn't feel anything at all and as soon as I broke my bag of water it was like 10 out of 10, like full on. Labor contractions are every two to three minutes, just like really intense, and I wasn't expecting that. So it was really hard for me to like cope initially. But my goal was not to get an epidural so or have any pain medication. That was kind of like what I had prepared for and I just kind of like went with it and after a few hours I kind of got used to it, took me like I think like five or six hours until I was 10 centimeters. So I for sure wasn't about to have a baby when they first admitted me, but took me some time for my body to get to 10.
Speaker 3:And then I got to 10 centimeters and they said well, now you have to start pushing. This is the time to start pushing. Put me on my back in the bed and I pushed for four hours, coached, pushing legs or knees to my ears, basically just throw. Every contraction didn't have any different position changes, nothing like that. And that wasn't anything I had prepared for. I had just more. So prepared for the breathing. And did I want epidural? Did I not like? There was certain black and white things I prepared for but not like. When should they break my big of water? When should I be admitted? Do I want monitoring? Do I want the IV? All of these different things.
Speaker 3:So that was a little bit alarming because I went four hours and she still wasn't here and I was like you guys are lying to me this whole time. Oh, she's so close and it's like four hours is a long time. So at that point they had said well, you're tired, you need an AC section or you need a vacuum. That is your choices at this point. So I didn't advocate for myself to not do either of those things. So I chose the vacuum because that to me at the time seemed less than surgery.
Speaker 3:And then, within probably 20 minutes or so, several contractions and pushes and a lot of chaos, with a lot of people coming to the room, including the NICU team. It was a teaching hospital, so I had about 20 to 25 people in my room and I was just trying to get her out, trying not to have a C-section. Everyone was preparing for a C-section and yeah, so that was how that happened. But then she came out, went right to the Walmart, to the NICU team and, because of the vacuum, the long pushing stage. I did have postpartum hemorrhage.
Speaker 3:I had severe tearing that took over an hour for them to repair and several threatened me several times that I was going to need to go to the OR because I couldn't sit still because I didn't have the epidural, so the lidocaine wasn't working.
Speaker 3:It was just kind of like all these things that were just like happening that I had never even thought were possible and, of course, like an hour goes by when I'm getting repaired. I wanted that skin to skin with my baby. She was just chilling with the nurses and I think my husband got her eventually, but I didn't even see her. I heard her cry but I didn't even see her, and that, to me, is like what sticks with me the most, I think, is that that whole experience led to me not seeing my baby right when she was born, that moment that I really wanted. So, yeah, that was like the very forced induction, because I didn't figure out later that that was a form of induction because I wasn't in labor even though I was at active six centimeters is active labor that I technically wasn't active labor when I was in the office but not feeling anything at all. So that was definitely an interesting experience that.
Speaker 2:I was not prepared for yeah. I kind of like in one the fact that you were kind of just one just going to do my day-to-day motion. I'm not 39 in second, I'm just going to do.
Speaker 3:Yeah right, I mean, it was just that was my mindset. It was just like she's going to come. When she comes, everything's fine. And then everything really just went opposite to that like going. I know people go in all the time like for a high blood pressure reading or something is shown different with baby's heart tones or something, and then all of a sudden they're like kind of rushed into this induction situation that they maybe weren't prepared for.
Speaker 3:But looking back on it, I thought that the experience was overall okay at the moment. Like, looking back within, like the first few weeks or so, and then I was in nursing school, I knew I wanted to be a labor and delivery nurse. That was why I went to nursing school and then I started doing like my internship and got my first L and D job and I was seeing all of these women have these amazing hospital birth experiences, like low risk moms and like they were up walking right after and they had like really no hands on, like they had this amazing birth experience that I was like okay, my experience felt like it was a hospital birth, whatever, that's what it was supposed to be like, but I was like no, it could have been so different and so many moms are having these amazing birth experiences. But so many moms are also having experiences, like I did, that it doesn't have to be that way. So that was kind of eye opening too when I first started supporting moms as a nurse.
Speaker 3:That was your postpartum it was really, really hard. I was in nursing school so my school said that I could have Originally. When I told them that I was pregnant in September the year before so like four months before I gave birth they said I would have two weeks off. And the rules changed, I guess, as the new year and they said I could have six hours off, which wasn't even a full day of clinical. Like clinical was like eight to ten hours. So they told me I could have six hours off and I was so upset but I was like well, this is what I'm going to have to do, so we're going to figure it out. And thank goodness I had a clinical instructor that was just so sweet and she's like I'll give you one day pass. So she gave me a one day pass and it was like I think it was once or twice a week, I think it might have been only once a week, but like, so I got one week off because she gave me that one pass and then the next time she said if you can make it into clinical or something. It was something weird. We can like fudge it a little bit. So I didn't go to that date either.
Speaker 3:So on day 11 postpartum I was back in clinical but I was in so much pain I was from the vacuum. My pubis synthesis was separated and I didn't even know until I was six months postpartum because she was born right before COVID. So by the time I felt like things were not going right. I was like I need help and then everyone shut down. So physical therapy wasn't taking elective things, it was all surgical stuff. So I was considering going to the emergency department to try to get help from somebody and nobody was helping me. And then by the time I was six months I was like I've been taking ibuprofen for so long in Tylenol. I mean for six weeks it was on the hour. Like every time I could for Tylenol I'd ibuprofen, and then it was like all the time until six months and I got an MRI and sure enough, it was like starting to come back together.
Speaker 3:So I did physical therapy and stuff, but at that point, like six months had gone by and breastfeeding was so hard, I didn't have any help with breastfeeding. I didn't know that I could ask for help with breastfeeding besides the outpatient hospital services, and they were just so busy that they gave me maybe 20 minutes and said well, nothing's wrong that I can see. I don't know why it hurts so bad. Maybe get your baby checked out by ENTs or something and see if it's something to do with her swallowing or something. I can't remember exactly what they had said and I was like I don't think that's right.
Speaker 3:So I just kind of suffered through it, decided just to exclusively pump for her, which was also hard being in school. But I pumped for her for almost a year and that was like a proud moment that I did that. But I would have loved breastfeeding and I would have loved to have support and kind of figure out why that was not working. But I never did so. Thank goodness I have a supportive husband and a supportive family, in-laws, all of those people, friends. But from the healthcare standpoint of it and the mental aspect and the school aspect, it was just so hard and I don't realize how hard it was until I went through it and I'm like I don't even know how I survived. But somehow we do as moms, we just figure out day by day and it feels awful in the moment but we get through it and it doesn't have to be awful, but I do feel like that sometimes what does happen? We kind of get left behind a little bit yeah definitely Wow, and so why?
Speaker 2:I mean during COVID too? Just less, or I heard before, so that's just.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and I couldn't take her out places and I was like what am I going to do with this baby? So yeah, it was like an isolating time, I know for everybody, for moms that had just had babies and I'm sure for a lot of other things too. But I know, for me in my life that was definitely a hard experience.
Speaker 2:Yeah yeah, you can be a peaker in the middle of the deal, but even being in that field, you don't know what the worry is about there, and to you, though, know, be straightened by that, like you know, just think, while the women that don't are in that at all, it's just like and to only have a day on Mm-hmm, I'm just letting them just insane, yeah.
Speaker 3:I know so much. We need to do so much better, especially for somebody in. I mean, it should be for anybody, obviously, but for somebody that's in the nursing field. It's like I'm not trying to get like a free pass or something Like I didn't have a baby during school to have a free pass. I just that's when I decided that it was the best time for me to start my family and I shouldn't be penalized for that. So there has to be a way to integrate that a little bit better. So that would have been nice to figure that out a little bit better. Because, of course, my husband he was in graduate school and they were just like take as much time as you need, like you can have, you know, late assignments, like it's fine. And I was like why can't we like switch roles here? Why can't I be the one that just had the baby and yeah, and get a little bit of leeway? But at least they were very helpful for him.
Speaker 2:Don't even feel physically normal.
Speaker 3:Actually my husband's a physical therapist, so he was in school to become a physical therapist and like he kind of noticed like some red flags and he now working in the hospital he works inpatient, so he is seeing moms after C-sections and they're trying to get everybody that is part of them to be seen by physical therapists. So that's something that they're doing, which is really cool. But I should have been evaluated by a PT or somebody in the hospital or taken seriously when I couldn't, you know, walk from the bed to the bathroom Like I have. I mean, I feel like I have a pretty high pain tolerance and just in that situation I'm like I'm fine, like everybody has babies, like I'll get over it, kind of thing. But yeah, I couldn't like stand up straight, like walking to the bathroom was just really hard and overall it was just I felt like something wasn't right, but I also had never had a baby before, so I didn't have anything to compare it with. So I was like, no, everyone just feels this way. This is just what it feels like. And then, thank goodness, I had a good second experience I also witnessed so many other moms have great experiences and I'm like, nope, that was not at all what should have happened. And I should have definitely been seen before I left and diagnosed way sooner.
Speaker 3:Because, yeah, that was really hard. Because then I was at home like why do I still feel like this after six weeks? And I remember two calling the midwife office and saying like something's not right? At two weeks. And I think I called again at four weeks and I was like I'm just in so much pain and I don't know why that would be. And they're like, oh, this is just normal, are these things happening? And I'm like, well, no, I don't have like a fever or other things. And they're like it's just going to take a few weeks and okay, okay, bye, I guess I guess. So, yeah, that was hard.
Speaker 2:So you said that you were seeing like during your prenatal at a midwifery office.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so she said that she didn't actually take due to her schedule. She was only doing clinic stuff. So she was seeing like kind patients in the clinic and then doing prenatal visits. But I had never met with a doctor during my prenatal care and I think that was.
Speaker 3:I don't really remember it that very well, but I think I remember being okay with that because I knew that the hospital I was with I was going to get anybody random, no matter who I saw anyways, so at least I would have a midwife in the clinic prenatally. I think that was kind of my logic behind it at the time. But yeah, I just got like a random person, obviously random nurse. Then the nurse changed. I loved her, and then the nurse changed at shift change and I got somebody that I didn't really vibe with very well. So that was hard. But then, yeah, the doctor that I had it just kept changing and then residents kept changing and everyone's fingers were inside of me like, oh, your baby has hair, oh, your baby doesn't have hair. And I'm like I don't care, I don't care about this, I just want her out of me.
Speaker 3:There was somebody sitting on my couch at a certain point, like coaching me to push and I'm like I have no idea what's happening right now. But yeah, it was a whole party in there and people had no idea. I didn't know who anybody was. Lights are bright, like the big bright lights were on me and yeah, it was. Yes, it was not at all what I would have expected it to be, I guess, but also I didn't know what to expect, so I just didn't even, you know, ask for anything differently. Want to sign on?
Speaker 2:talk about yours. See, we love to hear this first Sure.
Speaker 3:Yes. So lots more positive than this one, thank goodness. But she I had four days after I graduated, middle of free school, so another school baby. We weren't sure if she was going to come before I graduated or if I was going to graduate first, but I was. I did, yep, I did.
Speaker 3:I went from one to the next and that was actually because as a nurse, I wanted to like my main goal was like I wanted to help moms. I wanted to be that voice for them. So after I had that experience, I mean I knew I wanted to be a labor and delivery nurse. But then, after that experience of my own really solidified that something needs to happen. There needs to be more advocates for people. And I became a labor and delivery nurse. And then I was like, ok, but there's still providers and other people that nurses like I have to do the things under their care that maybe don't agree with or maybe want to speak up more. And I was like you know what I really need to be like a provider in that role? So let me go to like I want to go to midwifery school. I want to learn more. How can I help? So I went right straight to midwifery school after that and then I can talk about later why I'm not doing that path anymore.
Speaker 3:But yeah, so she was. I can't remember how many weeks I was with her. I was 40 and two, I believe, with my second daughter and she Let me think she I was with a different group of midwives at this point so I had actually worked with them as a labor and delivery nurse, so I knew all the midwives, which was different, but they actually were on call so I knew all of them. So whoever happened to be there at my delivery I would know who they were. So that was reassuring. But I went in at 40 and two. Actually I think I went in before that regular appointment Same same deal, like 39 and something. No-transcript. Sorry, let me back up. So I never mentioned either that my first baby was almost 11 pounds when she was born, so she was a very large baby. I kind of missed that point, but she was a very large baby, so she was almost 11 pounds.
Speaker 3:So actually when I got pregnant the second time, from the very first appointment, at like 11 weeks, they had me take the glukola drink and I didn't even know really why at the time. I just was being compliant and they're like, well, you might have had gestational diabetes that went undiagnosed, so we're going to do it again, like twice this pregnancy. And I was like, whatever, if that works. So I did that. It was negative, everything was fine and they had from the very beginning even though that they were midwives and I loved them they were kind of like fear mongering me to believe that my baby was going to be huge again and that I was going to have trouble delivering her and that I was going to need to start at 30 weeks doing like the chiropractic stuff to help my body get into alignment and then potentially have an induction at 39 weeks. That was already implanted in my brain when I was like 11 weeks pregnant or 10 weeks pregnant, whatever that first appointment was. So that was a little bit shocking to me at first because I had never really even thought about it. I was like I had an 11 pound baby vaginally. Whatever happens this time, it's all going to be fine. So that's kind of why I said at 39 weeks, when I was 39 weeks with my second baby, I went into the clinic and I actually agreed.
Speaker 3:I'm pretty sure I asked for a cervical exam because I was like nervous. I was like if I go over 39 weeks when they were going to induce me, I'm going to have a shoulder dystocia, my baby's not going to be okay because she's going to also be so big. Because the first time I wasn't worried about that because I had no idea how big she was going to be. But now the second time I was like, okay, now she's going to be bigger because the second babies are supposed to be bigger. She got me a little bit nervous. So I had her check me and I think I was like five centimeters at 39 weeks again, just very far dilated, and she was like that's fine, that's fine, I'm like okay, really, that's fine. And she's like, yeah, that's fine. And I think I was like that for almost a week.
Speaker 3:I went back at 40 and two or maybe it was like four days or something. I ended up going back because I had been having contractions. And at 40 and two she checked me again because we were going to do a membrane sweep Because again I was a little bit nervous about her being big, which I would have changed if I would have gone back. But I ended up being seven centimeters, no contractions, just walking around at seven centimeters. So that's my body does, apparently. But she told me that I could go home and that was like my plan. We had talked about it. I was like, if this happens again, I'm going home. If I'm not in labor, I'm going home, because that's kind of what started that cascaded intervention. So I went home at seven centimeters and it was like seven o'clock in the morning and she said, if you ever want to come back today, tomorrow, just call and you can have an induction for advanced dilation again. And I said, okay, at least I have the choice. But at that point I was like I was done being pregnant and I had my little one at home just excited, my other little one at home. She was like two and a half at the time and I should have waited but I didn't.
Speaker 3:I went in for an induction at one o'clock that day because they had an opening and I was like, okay, and I get there. It was like we were all prepared. My husband wasn't in school at the time, we were just. We went in together. Child care was good, it was all perfect. I got there and they did their mission questions.
Speaker 3:I was GBS positive, so they started me on antibiotics, I think right away I probably right away and they started the induction, I guess at 5pm, by breaking my bag of water. That's all they had to do, because I was seven centimeters and I remember being so nervous for them to break my bag of water, because I remember the first time I was like okay, I was like I made the wrong decision. I was kind of freaking out at that point. I should be at home right now. But I did. I went forward with it.
Speaker 3:They broke my bag of water at 5pm and again everything just intensified really, really fast. I was hooked up to the monitor when they did the breaking of the bag just to make sure baby was okay and tolerated that okay, which was fine. And there was this really big boom, boom noise and I could just feel her just drop and I was like, okay, all of a sudden something's happening. I was like I need to stand up and I stood up and I think I had three contractions and I looked at my husband and I was like I need the epidural. This is not happening. I don't know what I did the first time, that it worked out, but I'm done. And those words came out of my mouth and the next contraction I said oh she's coming.
Speaker 3:And literally within 45,. I was actually part of a water birth study at the hospital, so the midwives were having this water birth study. They had just finished filling up the tub. I was planning just to be there all night laboring and I was like I need to get in the tub right now if I want to have a water birth. And jumped in the tub. Next contraction she's like crowning and within 45 minutes this baby just shoots right out.
Speaker 3:She was crying before she was even completely delivered and I was just like overall in shock. I couldn't even believe what was happening. I was very vocal, I remember that, and I was like I was out of control. I was just not believing what was happening. I had my labor playlist ready to go Because it was a controlled environment, it was an induction. I was like labor playlist ready to go, all the different tools to help with pain management and that is all one of the windows.
Speaker 3:Not at all what I had expected. But yeah, she came so fast because I was already at seven centimeters and the only thing holding her back was that bag of water apparently. And yeah, it was an amazing delivery where my husband was there, the one midwife that I had seen in the clinic that I absolutely loved. She happened to be on call until 7 pm that night and I was like if only I could have this baby by 7 pm. Like ha, ha, that will never happen and it was 5.45,. Yeah, but it was just her and my husband and a nurse that was in there.
Speaker 1:But lights were it was dark.
Speaker 3:Everything was how I would have wanted it to be for many hours if I would have kept laboring that way, but got her skin to skin right away, held her and got out of the water, got into the bed, delivered my placenta. She asked me when my husband could cut the cord and everything was my choice, from the time that I was admitted to the time that my baby was born and then afterwards. So it was just such a more. I know it was quick and some people are like you had such a quick labor. That must have been so easy. And I'm like I don't know, that was pretty intense for 45 minutes.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it was quick, but it was just a different experience for sure. And yeah, it went so much smoother, just having those choices. And even if it would have, I tell myself too even if it would have gone the same way as the first one, I can't even be upset about it because it was my decision and I feel like it was just so much more of an empowering experience because I went home and then I decided to go back versus just like I don't know what's happening to me, Everything's happening to me. So that was really just a much more easygoing feeling.
Speaker 2:Are water births legal in your?
Speaker 3:state yeah, okay, so that's something that they're trying to have in the hospital systems around here. I think there's like two more years of the study and then the hospital system is going to like move it to the next hospital. So it's really something that moms want and it's like a really safe, effective way for pain management. So I really hope it's more yeah, more common. She was nine pounds, two ounces, so she was a little smaller. She felt so tiny. I was like, oh, she's just a tiny little thing. I even felt like my.
Speaker 3:The first thing they said when my first daughter was born was oh my gosh, she's the size of a three month old, and I didn't even see her for a while after. So I was just in shock. And when I got her I was like, oh, she's the tiniest, cutest little thing. But like now I see babies that are like five, six pounds and I'm like, oh my goodness, I had two of you inside of me, so you were a twin. Yeah, they were both about the same. Yeah, and I wasn't a gestational diabetic in either pregnancy. I was a big baby myself. I was nine pounds, so I don't know. So how was?
Speaker 2:postpartum with two. Also, did you your pubic symptoms kind of healed by the point?
Speaker 3:you were pregnant, yeah, no, yeah, no problems after that. Once it was healed, it was fine. I didn't have any. Thank goodness I didn't have any problems either. Like at the end of my pregnancy I never felt any like really uncomfortable pressure or like pain or anything like that. So that was, yeah, definitely. I know some people struggle with that, so that was something I did not experience.
Speaker 3:And then, yeah, postpartum I didn't have like postpartum pitocin or like breastfeeding went a little bit easier because I had support. It was still difficult, but otherwise, like the experience itself was so much more calm and I feel like I knew what to expect. I didn't have any pain, so I was ready to go home like an hour later. If I could have, I was like, okay, let's just go home, not see my other, I want them to meet each other. I didn't, but I could have. I felt like, and, yeah, overall it was just, I don't know, it was a really great like experience, memorable, like I remember everything from labor, delivery, postpartum with my first. I think I just blacked everything out.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, it's like fun to have those memories and so did you end up practicing with Brie after you delivered and graduated? I actually didn't, I so graduated in May of 2022.
Speaker 3:That's when I had my daughter too and took my exam like the next month, like a couple of weeks before the partum. So I was like officially able to be a midwife. And then I like, really like reflected on, like really, what I wanted During that time off, like with my daughter, thinking, okay, well, when I hit like 12 weeks or whatever, however many months, I feel ready, I'm going to start looking for jobs. And I started looking for jobs and I was just like I don't feel right now that that is what I'm like called to do. I feel like I wanted that one-on-one connection with moms and I wanted to be able to. The reason why I got into moodwifery was because I wanted to see them when they found out that they were pregnant or if they were trying to get pregnant, and get that positive pregnancy test, go throughout the entire journey with them, together with that with the whole family, and then they go through the journey with them, together with that, their whole pregnancy experience, deliver their baby with them and then support them postpartum, make sure that they're okay and then just be there for them if they need extra support. And, as a midwife practicing in the hospital, the experiences that I have had. You're part of a practice, you know you encourage moms to see everybody. So if there's 10 midwives, they probably only see you once and then whoever's on call is the one that delivers.
Speaker 3:So the connection just isn't as strong as something that I like to have in my own experiences and that so many moms are looking for is that continuity of care. So I was like I'm gonna start just supporting moms virtually is where I started on Instagram was just like texting moms just for free, like what can I help you with? Trying to see what they could benefit from, and I just got a lot of knowledge, that way of like what moms are looking for, and then started to do some one-on-one coaching and some virtual doula supports and just took everything that I learned as a mom myself, going through pregnancy and birth twice and then being part of like over 200 maybe deliveries and many more moms than that, than just the deliveries, but just learning from all of them created a comprehensive online birth course so moms can take that self-paced whenever they want, just to be a resource for them. And I have different services too for like texting me, like being just you know, you know how you go into Google and you like try to find something, information about something, and you get like the worst case scenario and the best case scenario and you're like what do I do with this now?
Speaker 3:It's like really nice for moms before and after prenatal visits even just to have somebody talk to them and like somebody to message that knows who they are and like can actually like either talk them down that it's not as bad as they think they are or like know that's something that maybe we should be concerned about and like reassure them that they're not crazy for thinking these things and maybe to get checked out or something. So really just supporting moms wherever they're at in terms of their pregnancy or labor, both part of them, just talking to moms both part of them and figuring out like mental health stuff and providing really a lot of resources for different things. So that's what I think is a lot of times missing is that referral network too, of like well, where do I go from here if this is happening to me? And that's been helpful.
Speaker 3:I guess my biggest piece of advice is just knowing that you have options and knowing that your birth experience is whatever you want it to be, not necessarily what other people are telling you that it should be, whether that's your provider or family member, like your mom or something, it's really about you and what you feel is best for you and your baby and becoming educated about all the options that you have and ultimately making the decision for yourself. So yeah, if you wanna connect with me, I'm mostly on Instagram at BethConnors, underscore CNM, and you can find my website bethconnorscom.
Speaker 2:Awesome. Well, thank you so much for sharing your stories. I'm just really happy that you had that second empowering earth, because I just had a girlfriend of Gryll. She like had to be back in it. It's just like. It's just like that I'm taking the power.
Speaker 3:Totally yeah, and the goal really is to have every mom have that first good experience and like, let's just not even have that. You know that doesn't? You don't have to have, it's not a prerequisite to have a you know, bad experience in order to have a good one. So trying to change that for sure.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm really meeting you. Yeah, thank, you guys.
Speaker 1:We'll see you next episode. Thank you for joining us on this episode of the Golden Hour Birth podcast. We hope you've enjoyed our discussion and found it insightful and beneficial. Remember, the Golden Hour Birth podcast is made possible by the support of listeners like you. If you appreciate the content we bring you each week, consider leaving us a review on your favorite podcast platform or sharing the show with your friends and family. Your support helps us reach more people and continue creating valuable episodes. If you have any questions, suggestions or topics you'd like us to cover in future episodes, we'd love to hear from you. You can reach us on our website, www. Goldenhourbirthpodcast, or connect with us on social media. We value your feedback and want to make sure that we're delivering the content you want to hear. Before we sign off, we'd like to express our gratitude to our incredible guests who joined us today. We are honored that they trust us enough to be so open and vulnerable. We're grateful for their time and willingness to share their stories with us.
Speaker 1:If you're interested in taking the conversation further with us, join us on our Facebook group, the Golden Hour Birth Circle. We'll be back next week with another exciting episode, so be sure to tune in. Until then, stay golden and remember to take care of yourself. We'll catch you on the next episode of the Golden Hour Birth Podcast. Bye.