B*TCH I'M ME

This week's episode is very short but quite impactful. I hope you take inspiration from this website and start trusting yourself more and moving with purpose.

Make sure you are leaving fan mail to let me know what you are thinking of the show.

Support the show for as little as $3/month so I can continue to produce quality content for your listening pleasure.

Transcript

[00:00] Like this. You already know who it is.

[00:07] It's your girl, Sugar.

[00:08] Now blessing you once again with the what Need Some Sugar podcast,

[00:13] episode 26, I'm Me. This episode is really geared towards being inspirational and me getting a little bit.

[00:21] Deeper in my healing journey with y'all.

[00:23] And admitting that I was wrong about the things that I thought I needed to change about myself. It's like the deeper I got into my healing and my spiritual journey and.

[00:30] The more I go to therapy, therapy, I'm like, no, those are the best qualities about myself. I do not need to change that about myself. And then it made me look at.

[00:39] Why I thought I needed to change those specific things about myself. And also, let me know how you are feeling.

[00:44] The new intro, it's actually an old.

[00:45] Intro that I recorded I think last summer.

[00:48] I was sitting on it for a really long time.

[00:49] Not that I didn't like it, I just was like, you know what? I'm not bringing my podcast back yet, so I'm gonna wait.

[00:55] Then me and a friend of mine that produced the intro for me was.

[00:58] Like, I think we could do better.

[00:59] I think we can come up with a better intro. And we. And we were trying to work out our schedul that we can do a newer intro.

[01:05] And I was like it. I'm bringing my podcast back and I'm.

[01:07] Using the old new intro and we just going to have to record a new new intro when we got time. Got it.

[01:12] Good. But anyway, here goes the episode. Before we start this episode, I want to give a huge shout out to a new supporter named Daniel. I know him as Danny. I don't know if you still go by that because you might be a grown *** man now, but we used to go to school together and I know him as Danny.

[01:27] Shout out to Danny for becoming a.

[01:29] Supporter of the podcast. You are greatly appreciated. And this is something new I'm going.

[01:33] To do each week.

[01:34] I'm going to shout out new subscribers, new supporters.

[01:37] If you want to remain anonymous, just.

[01:38] Email needsome, sugar podcastmail.com or DM the podcast on Instagram.

[01:44] S U G G A H, that's Sugar Podcast. Just DM me.

[01:47] Let me know, like, hey, my name is blah blah blah. I just became a supporter of your podcast, but I would like to remain anonymous and I'll respect that. And also I will be able to.

[01:55] Thank you personally just through a DM or email. Once again, thank you, Dani, for becoming.

[01:59] A supporter of the podcast. And now let's get to this week's episode. *****, I'M me.

[02:04] In the beginning of my healing slash.

[02:06] Spiritual journey, I questioned everything about myself.

[02:09] Down to the gristle, down to the bone marrow.

[02:11] I literally ripped myself apart, looked at myself atom by atom and was like, what am I going to change about myself? What do I need to change about myself?

[02:20] And through therapy and meditation, I've realized I need to change the fact that.

[02:24] I always question myself and I always.

[02:27] Move the goal posting.

[02:28] It's like, I'll reach a goal. And I don't want to say I'm not proud of myself because I do celebrate myself in that moment, but it don't last long.

[02:35] A good example is me moving to.

[02:37] The place I live now, right?

[02:38] I manifested this place. I prayed about this place. When my best friend came with me.

[02:42] To tour this apartment, I literally looked.

[02:44] At her and said, best friend. I prayed for this apartment, like, literally down to the washing machine.

[02:49] But now I'm like, okay, what else can we do? Not that I'm not grateful or appreciative or that I'm not staying here for.

[02:55] A little minute because, *****, the housing.

[02:56] Market is trash and the rental market is trash.

[02:59] So I'm staying here. But I'm just saying, like, I moved the goalpost.

[03:02] I'm like, all right, I moved to.

[03:03] A nice luxury apartment complex.

[03:05] Now what? And I realized through a lot of therapy and self reflection that I am.

[03:11] Literally raising the bar for myself.

[03:14] It is not me versus anybody else.

[03:16] It is always me versus me. And.

[03:18] And I never really took a step.

[03:19] Back and looked at my life as a whole. Like, where you came from and where you at now? You're nowhere near where you came from. Why are you not celebrating yourself a little bit more for getting here at least?

[03:30] And y'all know I quit my job.

[03:31] June of 2024, my corporate job. And every time I was asked, am.

[03:35] I employed after that, I'm like, no, I'm unemployed.

[03:37] But I really needed to realize, like, no, girl, you are not unemployed. You are self employed now. You are making money from doing things you love. You are making money from being yourself.

[03:47] You are making money because people look forward to hearing what you have to say. You are not unemployed, babe. You are self employed. Your bills are paid.

[03:55] You're not facing homelessness.

[03:56] You have a reliable vehicle for you and your daughter. And Lord, hear me out.

[04:00] That's almost paid off.

[04:02] So, Lord, if you listening to this, I know you always listening to me, but Lord, $2,000 right now will pay my car off and it'll be mine title in my name.

[04:10] And this One I'mma keep for a while. Because the last car I paid off.

[04:13] I think I sold it two days.

[04:14] After I got the title, and then I got this car that I have.

[04:17] Now, the same day I sold my last car.

[04:19] Like, y'all, I moved kind of fast. So once this car is paid off.

[04:23] Because it's a reliable vehicle, it's an suv. I'm about to have two kids now.

[04:26] It's enough space for us.

[04:28] But, yeah, through a lot of therapy.

[04:29] And self reflection, I really had to realize I need to stop questioning myself.

[04:35] My life is the result of good decisions 95% of the time.

[04:38] And I'll give the 5% to lessons.

[04:40] Learned, not even mistakes. 95% of my decisions have either moved me towards my goal or exactly what.

[04:47] I needed to do to achieve my goal.

[04:49] So once I realized there was nothing.

[04:51] Really to question, I then questioned why I questioned myself.

[04:55] So I'm like, okay, where did that come from?

[04:57] Brings me back to my childhood. A lot of the adults I grew.

[05:00] Up around were very hypercritical about everything.

[05:03] It's just the environment that we were.

[05:04] In, the way they grew up, the way their parents talk to them.

[05:07] It's almost like a cycle. So from a very young age, it's.

[05:11] Like everyone is critical about every decision that you make. Everyone has kind of something negative to say or, why are you doing that? Why would you do this? I will say, though, an extra layer.

[05:19] Of that is growing up with the type of stepdad I had. It's almost like everything I did was wrong.

[05:24] And I always was getting in trouble for something. It didn't matter what I did for real. It really just felt like he was looking for some way to get me in trouble.

[05:31] Some reason. Some reason to tell me no, I couldn't go outside, some reason to say.

[05:34] I'm on punishment, have to go upstairs in my room. I honestly think now that's why I.

[05:38] Love being in my room so much. But, yeah, I carry that into my adult life.

[05:42] And I'm very hypercritical of myself and also just realizing that the little girl.

[05:46] In me is still scared of getting in trouble.

[05:48] So it's like, I'll do something, and.

[05:50] Then immediately I'm questioning myself.

[05:52] I'm questioning, was that the right decision?

[05:53] Was that the right thing to say? Oh, my God, what do they think? How do they feel?

[05:56] And it's like, girl, you cannot sit.

[05:58] Here and worry about what everybody else got going on.

[06:00] You got to worry about you. I notice after leaving conversations, I would question the conversation or interaction.

[06:07] I just had with said person or people.

[06:09] I'm like, did you say the right things? Do you think they felt some type of way?

[06:12] Do you feel like you were rude? And I had to realize, why are you questioning every single encounter you have? You wouldn't have the friends you have for as long as you've had them.

[06:19] Like me and my best friend.

[06:21] We've been best friends for 20 plus years. You don't keep a 20 plus year friendship, especially being best friends, from being a ****** person.

[06:28] So I'm like, okay, well, I'm a good person in that aspect.

[06:31] Your family wouldn't fudge with you heavy if you was a bad sister, daughter, niece, whatever.

[06:35] So it's like, why are you questioning that?

[06:37] When you go into a room or a family function, you bring light, you bring love, you bring laughter.

[06:41] The only explanation I had is my.

[06:43] Inner child being scared of getting in.

[06:45] Trouble, being scared that we did something.

[06:47] Wrong, that we said something wrong, that our phone's going to get taken away.

[06:50] That we're going to be on punishment, that we're going to get hit something, that we going to get cussed out. Now, in my adult life, it looks like not really me trying to make.

[06:58] Sure I say all the right things.

[06:59] Because, *****, I'm me.

[07:01] And sometimes I just say ****. It might come off rude, but I'm very upfront. You never really got to question how I feel.

[07:07] I'm going to tell you how I feel. But sometimes I walk away from the situation. I'm like, oh my God, was that rude?

[07:12] Was that a little too abrasive? Did I hurt their feelings? Maybe I should go back and explain myself. Maybe this, maybe that.

[07:17] And it's like, no, that's me questioning.

[07:19] Myself instead of fully standing in who I am and believing how I feel.

[07:23] In that moment when I said what I said. And oftentimes I've learned in my life.

[07:27] That how I felt initially is how I feel.

[07:30] Anytime I went back and tried to.

[07:32] Really think about or dissect the situation, I'm like, how I felt the first time is how I feel.

[07:37] I want to tell y'all what prompted this episode too, right? My therapist found out that I do videos on social media, like, you know, review my shows, and also that I have a podcast and she gave me.

[07:46] Homework and she said, how has social media shaped you? How has social media changed you or.

[07:51] Change your perspective of yourself? And in the homework, when I actually sat down and thought about it, I'm like, social media has helped me really.

[07:58] Stand firm in who I am.

[07:59] Once I started reading comments and people talking, and I'm like, *****, you don't know me. Or I would be like, man, I'm me. I said what I said. If these people don't like what I'm saying, they can go on their page.

[08:10] And make a video saying how they feel. But this is how I feel on my page, and this is what I said.

[08:15] I feel like social media has just.

[08:16] Helped me stand a little bit more.

[08:17] Firm in how I feel and what I said. For a while, I would just consume the content.

[08:22] Then one day I decided to start.

[08:24] Making my own content because I'm like.

[08:26] Man, I'm a force.

[08:27] Like, I could do this one day. I just was like, I can do this. Like, I'm one of the people that.

[08:32] Should be out there that people should.

[08:33] Know, that people should see. Because I'm funny.

[08:35] I want to share my light, my love, and my laughter with other people out there. I feel like people feel better after they talk to me in real life.

[08:42] I literally always have experiences where even.

[08:44] Somebody who just met me will tell me, like, I was feeling down before.

[08:47] You came around, and then when you.

[08:49] Came around, we was laughing. It made me feel so much better. Thank you for that.

[08:52] And stuff like that just became confirmation for me that I could share my gift, I could share my love, I.

[08:56] Could share my light with other people.

[08:58] But I made a promise to myself that I will always stay true to.

[09:00] Who I am and remember who I am. Because people out there will talk ****.

[09:04] As if they know you and they don't.

[09:05] So that's where I get, *****, I'm me. I'm going to say what I say.

[09:09] I'm going to react how I react. I'm going to make the video that.

[09:11] I'm going to make, and it is what it is.

[09:13] And let that be motivation for you. I want you to take it from your favorite cousin. Look at yourself in the mirror today and say, *****, I'm me.

[09:19] Stop questioning how people are perceiving you, whether that be family or friends, co workers, whoever.

[09:24] Stop questioning yourself and put yourself out there.

[09:26] Trust yourself a little bit more. Believe in yourself. Trust your decisions. If your decision requires due diligence beforehand.

[09:33] Make sure you do that.

[09:34] But just take a look at yourself.

[09:35] In your life and let that be.

[09:37] Proof whether or not you're making good decisions now. Now, this might make you realize that you might not have been making the best decisions in your life, but let that change today moving forward.

[09:46] Let 95% of your decisions be good decisions. And the other 5% be lessons learned. We don't say bad decisions and we don't say mistakes.

[09:53] It's very strict over here.

[09:55] You only get 5% room for error.

[09:57] Anything more than that, you on your own.

[09:59] I have no advice for you.

[10:00] Figure it the **** out.

[10:02] But on a serious note, look at.

[10:03] Yourself in the mirror and say, *****, I'm me. And make sure when you look at yourself in the mirror, it's with your.

[10:07] Shoulders back and your head high and.

[10:09] You make direct eye contact with yourself.

[10:11] And you say, *****, I'm me.

[10:14] And that's it for this week's episode. I really, really hope you enjoyed this week's episode.

[10:18] Yes, it was a short one, but I hope it was motivational.

[10:20] You need to look at yourself and.

[10:22] Say, *****, I'm me.

[10:23] As always, I asked for fan mail. Let me know how you're feeling about the podcast.

[10:26] Also, you can give suggestions on what.

[10:28] You want me to talk about. Like I said in the episode, this.

[10:31] Week'S topic came from the homework that.

[10:33] My therapist gave me during our last session. So sometimes it's going to be off the fly, but I do have planned content and I do plan to start talking about, you know, the hot topics and things that are going on.

[10:42] It's just I wanted five to ten episodes back being just me talking to my people and y'all getting to know me over again.

[10:48] Or y'all continuing to get to know.

[10:49] Me because some of y'all are listening from my social media and you see.

[10:52] That I review TV shows and some of y'all just know me from childhood.

[10:55] Or other places, work, and you're getting.

[10:57] To know me just more in depth overall.

[11:00] Now, if I got family and friends that listen to this, hey, y'all, y'all think y'all know me, but this will help y'all get to know me a.

[11:05] Little bit more too.

[11:06] As always, become a supporter of the podcast. For as low as $3 a month. Cancel anytime, no commitments. We will greatly appreciate it.

[11:13] It helps me to continue to create.

[11:14] This podcast for you because, you know.

[11:16] We self employed over here, *****. Anyway, what do I always say? It's good, but it needs some sugar. Bye.