Scene 1

Dagrun: Deky, Tomo, Gav, Gazi, Mal

[all answer in turn ‘Sir!’]

Dagrun: Right you lot! Confirm you’re all mariners, right?

Gazi: Riverine only sir, but I can work a skiff.

Tomo: Same here Sarnt-Major.

Mal: I was navy sir.

Gav: Marine sir.

[pause]

Dagrun: Corporal?

Deky: errrm…pater had a leisure boat…I have som-

Dagrun: That’ll do. I didn’t ask for you fuckin’ life story. Ya’ll done recce, aye? 

All: Aye.
 Dagrun: Get your shit ready. Briefing in 10. You’ll be with the Colonel so shine your buttons and be at ye’ best.

Gazi: Shit! Is this about the barque? Are we going out sir?

Dagrun: No Gazi. I’m askin’ for mariners coz the boss wants to sort out his holiday trip to the fuckin’ Tolwep islands. Stop asking fuckin questions and get yer shit together. 9 minutes.

[Footsteps away]

Gazi: Ass-hole.

[Footsteps return]

Dagrun: Colour!

Mal: Sir!

Dagrun: Your old man was an Adelist right?

Mal: Aye, he was.

Dagrun: Remind me what the 21st tenant was again, would ya.

Gazi: I’m an Adelist sir. There are only 20 Tenants.

Dagrun: Remind your trooper will ye colour.

Mal: Thou shalt wait until the Sergeant Major is out of ear shot before thou starts gobbing off Trooper Gazi.

Dagrun: Aye. That’s a man who knows his scripture. Say g’bye to ye boyfriends for a while Trooper Gazey. You’re on extra duties when we get back.

[The room laugh]

Dagrun: Colour you’re with me.

__________________________________________________________________________________

Scene 2
 
 Dagrun: Right brass tacks. We are gonna be in the shit in figures few. We don’t have many lads or lasses that know the water and can work quiet but I’m not taking any dead weight on this. Fill me in on your boys. Anyone weak in the arm or weak in the head?

Mal: There all solid sarnt major. They’ve all done ops and they’ve all worked together plenty. Tomo and Gazey are nightmare on camp but they are operators in the field. Sarnt Gav is swept up- he’s worked recce his whole career and served as a Ranger in the Vanguard.

Dagrun: What about that wet Deky?

Mal: Corprol Deky is a toff but he’s earned his stripes same as any. He can fight, he can swim and he’s got more than half a brain. I’d stake my life on the lot of em sir.

Dagrun: Well you’ll be staking mine as well so be doubly fuckin’ certain alright?

Mal: Gods…are you coming out too sir?

Dagrun: Aye. That an issue?

Mal: Hells no sir. Very much the opposite. It’ll give the blokes courage havin’ you with us.

Dagrun: You don’t get extra rations for blowing smoke up my arse colour. Someone has got to make sure you soft shites don’t cop it or fuck up.

Mal: Roger sir.

Dagrun: Here’s the brief to stop that lot whinging. We are reccying the boat. Two contaburniums, three teams. We’ve got stealth craft to get us up to it and a deception plan to draw their attention if things go messy. You’ll get a full brief from the colonel but it’s fight light, all dark and make sure their wills are in order. Aye?

Mal: Aye.   
 
 __________________________________________________________________________________

Scene 3
 
 Mal: Lads. We are one hours notice to move. I’ve had the warning order from the Sergeant Major. It’s fight light. No armour. Short blade weapons only. Matt blades, matt sheathes. All black order of dress. If you’re a big snowflake like Tomo you can bring along a long ceremonial for good luck, but if I see a single glint or hear a single rattle once we move off. Stand-by!

Gav: You bringin’ the biggun with you Tomo?

Tomo: Always. It brings the spirits of my ancestors wherever I go into battle.

Gav: Well don’t fall in will ye. I’m not fishing you out the water with that thing strapped to you. I can barely carry you as is.

Gazi: I’d have thought Tomo would have been too tired to carry it after carrying your ass for the past year.

Gav: That’s carrying your arse Sergeant, Trooper Gazi. Do you not have enough extras yet?

Deky: I think it’s a good idea to have at least one of us packing heavy. A big Uruk swinging his Igazi claymore is going to do us a lot better in a fight than our daggers and short swords will.

Mal: Unless we get caught short inside the ship Deky, but this is recce. Should be no need for the big hitters. In, have a nose around and out again. Only scrap if you have to and only to make a clean withdrawal. No heroics. 

Tomo: Join the Orillian Regiment they said. Honour and glory to be had they said. Ten months of stagging on a toll road and now I’m playing sneaky-sailor-run-away with you squishies. I got so excited when they said we were coming here to put down the rebellion, you know.

Gav: You can blame the old Brigadier for getting himself stabbed in a brothel. New boss. New orders.

Gazi: You’re always getting stabbed in brothels from what I hear Sergeant.

[all laugh] 

Mal: Nout wrong with that!

Deky: We’ll all be fighting before the summer festival. It’s all kicking off in the North Steppe from what I hear so if things don’t blow up here first, there will be work for us in the north.

Mal: There is always work for a blade brothers but keep your mind on the task at hand. We’ve had a nice period of R&R but you boys have worked hard in training. I know we were expecting to work on the land but these are the cards we were dealt. Have you all got your wills up to date?

All: Aye Colour.

Mal: So no one got married or joined in the last year?

Tomo: Oh…Right….err sorry Colour. I might be out of date.

Mal: Sarnt Gav. Get the names of his Vir to the clerks and they can square it.

Gav: Aye Colour. Corporal Deky. Inspect the blokes before they leave the bunks make sure they are fit for colonel.

Deky: Aye Sarnt.

Scene 4

Colonel Willifred: Chaps please be seated.

[Sounds of seats being taken]

Colonel: There has been a very short turn around on this and I can only apologise for not having a comprehensive set of orders ready for you all. We are going to have to rely on good old fashion improvisation and professionalism to work out the details as we go. H hour is at last light in less than two hours. It is the Brigadier’s intent that we FIND the enemy aboard the vessel of unknown origin and UNDERSTAND their numbers, capability, disposition and likely intentions in order to determine if the Orillian Regiment is to change its force posture. It is therefore my intent to FIND the enemy aboard the vessel of unknown origin and UNDERSTAND their numbers, capability, disposition and likely intentions. With that…please take a look at this artists rendering of the flag they ship is flying. 

[Sound of picture being unfurled]
 
 Colonel: I would like to pose the question to any of you former seafarers. Is anyone familiar with this emblem or coat of arms or whatever it is…?

[coughing and silence]

Deky: Um…Colonel..

Dagrun: Brace up when you address the colonel! State name rank and number! Colour, get a grip of your lazy troops!

Mal: Ay-

Colonel: That’s quite alright Mr Dagrun. Please, what was your name?

Deky: Corporal Dek Ana 25767, Colonel. 

Colonel: Please relax Luke. Do you recognise this flag?

Deky: Aye sir, it’s the flag of Analor.

[Everyone laughs derisively]

Colonel: Analor? 

Deky: Aye, sir from the South Hub. Father showed me a picture just like this one when I was a boy. He’d drawn it in his captain’s journal. 

Colonel: Interesting notion. I was under the impression that Analor was somewhat of a fairytale….but…erm…thank… Thank you for your insights Corporal. If that is all we have to go on then we are flying pretty blind. The scheme of manoeuvre will be to move out with three small craft, the officers will remain one tactical bound behind the two lead craft to maintain situational awareness and provide command and control whilst contaburnium 1 takes the left flank and contaburnium 2 takes the right flank. Cont 1 will be commanded by Sergeant Major Dagrun and will be responsible for infiltrating the ship in order to gain intelligence on the craft. Cont 2 will be commanded by Colour Sergeant Burkhard and will provide covering fire for Cont 1 in the event of a hard compromise or the initiation of hostilities. Sergeant Burkhard, Cont 2 will therefore be augmented with combat casters. Be prepared to go loud and bright on orders or if you determine Cont 1 to be compromised. We have the benefit of tonight being moonless so we should have excellent concealment on the water. Their craft is unimaginably large and so it should still be visible. The lights of the city will be the only ambient light and so should be used as an aid to navigation. We presently have a deception plan of sorts in the making, which should draw the attention of the ship toward the Aventine and hopefully away from us. At H+2 1000 sky lanterns will be released from our camp which should draw any sentries attention away from the water and up to the sky. I know that sky lanterns are usually released at the start of the mid-winter festival and we are a few days away from that, but hopefully an early celebration will not seem out of the ordinary. The release of the lanterns is the go signal for Cont 1. Upon this signal Sergeant Major Dagrun and his team will board the barque and have 1 hour to collect any intelligence they can on the vessel. Documents, especially watchkeeper notes or signals records are a priority but good old fashioned eavesdropping will suffice if this is not possible. At H+3 all units are to withdraw to the Aventine docks and make their way back here for a debrief. Q Basilius you and one other rank of your choosing will provide the labour for the command vessel. We’d row it ourselves of course but we must maintain situational awareness at all times.

Q Basillius: Sir. Colour Wazo with me.

Colonel: Any questions troops?

[Silence] 

Colonel: Okay. Last light is in less than two hours. Prelim moves to the Aventine dock must be completed before H-Hour. Good luck troops. Gods speed.

[Sounds of officers leaving the room]

Dagrun: Right! Let me translate all that wafty shite for you fuckin’ egits. Q Basillus, your craft is gonna pop a leak or lose the fuckin oars the second you are far enough away from shore to keep the Ruperts from fuckin’ everything up. No disrespect to the Colonel he’s a good planner but he is about as useful as a glass hammer in the field and I don’t think his officers have seen the sea past bathing their little feet on the beach. You are shit out of luck Colour Sarnt Wazo, you are gonne be on restriction of privileges for the fuck up but that’s how it’s gonna be. Me n the Q will make sure you get double ration and you can turn your bunk into a den of sin if you like, but if the command craft makes it to the line of departure I will make you wish you were never born! Do you ken?

Colour Wazo: Aye boss.

Dagrun: My lot.

The boys: Aye.

Dagrun: Most of you blokes haven’t worked with me before. I will be boarding the boat with Colour Mal, Sgt Gav and Corporal Deky. You troopers just make sure the craft is waiting for us when we get back and keep it hidden in the shadow of the big fuckin’ boat. Deky you’re probably full of shit, but ye can fuckin read and speak something other than Vox you will keep ye eyes and ears peeled for intelligence or any gen that’ll help up figure this shit out. Cont 2…fuck me that’s a shite name…

Dagrun: Colour Burkhard Have you chosen your casters? I recommend getting Fedelmed and Jiloat, they can both pack a punch- Scurlott is a gooden too and she knows her way around a vessel.

Colour Burkhard: They’ve all signed off boss. Been gone for weeks.

Dagrun: Fuck my life. Who have we got left?

Gav: I worked with Erwin and Clara back in the day. They are both competent and can make a good show.

Colour Burkhard: Excellent. They are both on duty. Ill brief them up…they…should be sober…

Dagrun: Deky, you know a bit about this and that anything you wanna add before we all cut away?

Deky: Umm…aye sir…It’s a ship.

Dagrun: What?

Deky: The Barque…it’s a ship…not a boat…we will be using the boats to get to the ship.

Dagrun: Have you gone soft between the ears lad? Aye…we’ll be taking the boats to the ship…is that all you picked up from this brief?!

Deky: Umm..sorry…it’s just that you called the ship a boat earlier… I just wanted us all to be clear that there is a difference between a ship and a boat.

Dagrun: Do you think I’m stupid son? Do you think I’m daft and don’t know the difference.

Deky: Of course not sir…sorry.

Dagrun: Well I don’t. Good instincts. Shame your so fuckin’ wet. What’s the difference then, eh?

Deky: Its all to do with how they turn. A ship rolls outboard in a turn while a boat rolls inboard…

Mal: [Sarcastic] Thanks for that Deky…I am sure that now you have cleared that up for us we will be much more effective….

Gav: Right. You heard the boss. Start sparking lads. Get to it.

Scene 5 [sounds of the sea and muffled talking]

*whole scene to be whispered*

Gazi: Gods it’s cold.

Tomo: Quit being so soft. Throw on your warm kit and stop whinging. 

Gazi: I didn’t bring any warm kit. They said fight light. Why would I bring a gods forsaken sweater?

Tomo: Because you were going on the sea at night. Quiet Gaz. Here take mine.

[Sound of jumper being thrown]

Gazi: [mutters to himself] you’re the one with the booming voice…tell me to be quiet…they can probably hear you back on the Aventine. [regular volume] Mother of Blackbirds Tomo… you could fit three of me in this thing!

Tomo: Don’t invoke her name here, you will bring us bad luck! And…you should spend more time in the gym I guess. 

Gazi: Fuck it, I’ll stay cold. They can’t be much longer they’ve been gone nearly an hour. I can see the lanterns have nearly floated all the way out here. Do you think they are gonna light up the water? Maybe they’ll be able to see us?

Tomo: Do you ever stop talking?

Gazi: Aren’t you bored? We’ve just been standing here holding our dicks the entire time. The least you could do is be entertaining. I thought you people were supposed be like story tellers and singers and shit.

Tomo: I will sing you a bedtime story when we get back to shore if you will just shut the fuck up!

Gazi: Hey….Hey…Tomo….Hey

Tomo: What?!

Gazi: Hells man…quiet down! I was just gonna ask. Did you ever visit Vash?

Tomo: Spent some time there with the regiment. Yeah.

Gazi: During the troubles?

Tomo: [Sighs] Yes.

Gazi: Did you ever visit Daya?

Tomo: [Sighs heavier] Yes.

Gazi: I’ve asked you that before right?

Tomo: [exasperated sigh] Yes Gazi. Every time you get drunk you start.

Gazi: I don’t remember that…did I…

Tomo: Yes. You ask if I was at the battle of Nuur…then you get pissy and start throwing around cutting words…then I knock you out and we do the same dance again the next time you drink.

Gazi: Bullshit. Drunk or not, I’d kick your ass.

[silence]

Gazi: Soooooo….you were at the battle huh?

Tomo: [Grunt]

Gazi: Fuckin’ coward.

[sounds of movement above]

Tomo: They’re back

Mal:[stage whisper] Captures inbound.

Gazi: Captures? Are we taking prisoners? What the fuck?!

[Sound of rope lowering for a long time]

Gazi: This thing is huge!

[Body clatters on deck] [Sound of second rope lowering]

Tomo: Looks like another one. 

Gazi: Are we lifting the whole fuckin’ crew? 

[Ropes lower again, four bodies land]

Mal: Tomo, Gazi. Get us out of here fast and quiet.

Gazi: Colour, your covered in blood! Fuck Gav are you hit?!

Mal: Start sparking Trooper. Row.

[Deky vomits overboard]

Dagrun: I don’t remember giving you permission to spill your fuckin guts Corporal Deky. Get a grip of your pathetic body. You don’t see Sgt Gav mincing about and he’s the one who got stabbed. On that topic. Sergeant, I order you to stop bleeding post fuckin’ haste. You ken?

Gav: [Pained] Aye boss.

[Sounds of rifling through pack and application of bandages]

Gaz: [Effortful rowing] What in the hells happened? I thought we were just scoping the place out?

Gav: Deky had a clever idea.

Mal: Cut the lad some slack. It was a good idea.

Gav: Right up until I got run through.
 
 Dagrun: Don’t be so bloody dramatic. You got a little love touch from that wee nix one. Count your blessings it wasn’t one of those Uruks or I’d have to spend the next two nights drafting letters for the Colonel telling ye ma that you copped it. I have much better things to do than that. I’d be sending my prayers to the afterlife telling the silent cunts to have you up on charges for causing me paperwork.

[soft laughter]

Tomo: There were Uruks?

Deky: Yes. Hundreds… maybe thousands…that place is huge. Nix too, though only maybe a dozen that we saw. 

[sudden sound of struggling and thrashing on the deck…someone shouting in a foreign language]

Mal: Fuck. He’s spat out his gag. Quick shut him up.

[Sound of Gav standing, grabbing the Nix holding his head underwater]

Gav: This is the one that stabbed me. Give him a minute or two.

[Sounds of gurgling and thrashing….thrashing stops]

Mal: That’ll do mate. We need him to be able to speak.

[Silence]

Dagrun: That’ll do Sergeant!

Gav: Just being thorough boss.

[Sound of body dragged back on board]

Mal: Did you get anything he said Deky?

Deky: I don’t recognise the language. It sounds a little like the Nix-tongue but its got a weird accent or dialect or something. Other than ‘Help’ I couldn’t get anything. 

Dagrun: What about the Tuskar? Did you get what they were saying on board?

Deky: Not a word. It didn’t sound like true-tongue at all. Was too soft and delicate. I think it was some other language…sorry I couldn’t be more help.

Gav: You helped me out plenty mate.

Tomo: How did it happen?

Gav: Do you remember that mad kabouter we dealt with in Vash back in the day? The one with the ‘Dragon Weapon’ that could supposedly spit fire without esoterics?

Tomo: Aye, yeah blew himself and his whole fort up with that black powder.

Gav: The ship is full of the stuff. Powder and the Dragon Weapons. Hundreds of big bastards and each of the Tuskar is carrying a smaller weapon which looks to use powder too. So Deky here…

Deky: I wanted to see if we could find where they stored it. See if we could get some for ourselves and well… maybe also…if we needed to…make the ship go the way of the mad Kabouter.

Gav: Aye. Surprise surprise. The place they store their powerful black powder was guarded with sentries with excellent line of site.

Dagrun: All worked out for the best in the end. We made two nice new friends, who we can take home and introduce to mum and dad…and find out a little bit more aboot them.

Gazi: But if they don’t speak Vox or any other language we got…how is talking going to help? 

Deky: I’ve seen casters deal with this sort of thing…they can probe the mind and speak in tongues… I don’t know the ins and outs but it can be done.

[sound of enfilade gunfire in distance]

Tomo: What in the hells is that?

Gazi: Are they firing at the lanterns? Why the hell would they do that?

Gav: Must think its an attack….

[Sound of LOTS of cannon fire striking land, explosions on the Aventine]

Tomo: They are firing at the Aventine!?

Mal: FUCK!

[Sounds of Fireballs and lightening bolts being thrown at the ship] 

Gav: Shit! They are firing at our other ship!

[Sound of Cannon fire landing in water nearby, sound of illum going up ]

Deky: Boat… Fuck… I mean…should we help them? 

Dagrun: Back to shore troops. Full speed. They are lighting this area up. They’ll see us any second. 

Mal: Everyone grab an oar and get rowing! No need for quiet just fucking move.

[Sound of other Orillian Regiment boat exploding into pieces/ sound of cannonballs landing all around the party]

Tomo: Burkhard’s ship is hit!

Gazi: We’ll be hit move your ass!

[Sounds of fast rowing retreat]