No Return
No Return: An Audio Drama by Kier Zhou
No Return is what happens when you give one person too much coffee, a microphone, and a world that won’t stop expanding.
It’s a fantasy series about gods, worlds, mercenaries, lost cities, and bad decisions… but mostly it’s about people trying (and failing) to make sense of the mess they’re in. The tone swings from absurd to sincere, from divine slapstick to quiet tragedy. Sometimes all in the same episode.
If Discworld got tangled up with The Wheel of Time and accidentally wandered into a Tom Sharpe novel, you’d be somewhere close.
The stories jump around the same world, exploring different but intertwined characters, stories and genres.
It’s made on a potato powered laptop, by a guy who clearly doesn’t know when to stop.
If you like things that are funny, sad, overcomplicated, and occasionally, accidentally, profound… you’ll probably like No Return.
But don’t take my word for it…
This show was nominated for Best Audio Drama at the New Zealand Web Fest and officially selected for the Cisco Web Fest, which is pretty good for someone who ran out of money to apply to any more festivals!
Here’s what listeners are saying:
“A journey through a creative mind like no other… I cannot begin to imagine how this creator keeps all his characters and plot lines straight, but it’s a marvel.”
“The quality and sound production are absolutely on point, but it’s the captivating writing and voice acting that keep you coming back.”
“Chaotic [affectionate]. Each arc has something unique - sometimes gut-wrenchingly funny, sometimes grounded — it keeps you on your toes.”
Extra lore, behind-the-scenes chaos, and stray thoughts at:
No Return
11: Pilot: The Kingdom of Lern: The Setting Shadow
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
We do sure talk a lot of Lern on No Return... how about some content where the Lernians actually appear for once!
Drakon: Dontae Majors
Kerren: Stuart Bullock
Iskra: Ren @Renovershares
Irht: Kat McQueen
Heliokyna: Rae Witte
Dowager: Lilly Inverse
Ignatius: A J Fidalgo
Aegisa: Daniellelanois
Rael: Cameron Gergett
Loads of Extra Characters : Kier Zhou
Typhonkratos: Chris RR Bauso
Gidia: Gemma Maclean-Mair
Thurkearix: Glenda Villimar
Rael: Cameron Gergett
Hogyn: Kier Zhou
Malikor: Ray O'Hare
Content Warnings:
Violence and Magical Combat: Contains scenes of intense magical combat, explicit violence, physical abuse, and death.
Discrimination: Depictions of slavery, caste systems and ableism.
Psychological Intensity and Emotional Abuse: Features high-stress situations, psychological manipulation, emotional abuse, and threats of peril.
Disturbing Imagery: Includes descriptions of bodily transformations, injuries, and torture.
Mental Health Triggers: Portrays panic, distress, and abusive language, which might be triggering for some viewers.
Threats and Lethal Challenges: Characters face lethal environments and situations with explicit threats of death and cruelty.
Brenna Anderson-Dowd
Host
Cameron/Jasper Zoinks (he/him)
Host
Dontae
Host
Dr Loup Sutcliffe
Host
Dylan (He/Him)
Host
Girunduu
Host
Kier Zhou
Host
Krissi (She/Her)
Host
Madeleine Buttitta (she/they)
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