This week's topic is all about having the courage to show up in our fullness. Leaning into you means not being afraid to feel anything that might come up as a result of being more true to who we are more often and in more spaces. Join me as I talk through the inspiraton for this episode right from my very own life. I also provide a framework for you to get closer to yourself so that you can truly be the best support system for yourself as you lift the veil on who you are deep inside.
Where to find me:
Connect with me on Instagram
Check out my website
Sign up for a free consult
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This week's topic is all about having the courage to show up in our fullness. Leaning into you means not being afraid to feel anything that might come up as a result of being more true to who we are more often and in more spaces. Join me as I talk through the inspiraton for this episode right from my very own life. I also provide a framework for you to get closer to yourself so that you can truly be the best support system for yourself as you lift the veil on who you are deep inside.
Where to find me:
Connect with me on Instagram
Check out my website
Sign up for a free consult
LinkTree
Hey besties, how's it going? How are we doing? Today I'm going to shout out Gina, hi, gina, gina. I had a session with her yesterday and she told me that she, when I am like hey, besties, she's like hey, chris. So maybe maybe you're like that too, maybe when I'm, I hope that I want it to feel like we're having a conversation together, that it's just you and me sitting in a maybe not a coffee shop, because people but you know, in my living room or your living room or over Zoom or whatever, and we're just like kicking it together. I want it to feel that way. So that's very validating. When Gina tells me that she talks back to me on the podcast, I love that. If you talk back to me, please let me know. I would love to know what are we talking about, what are you saying? What's your side of the conversation? Please share your side with me. Anyway, we are firmly into May Again.
Speaker 1:Where is this year going? She's flying, she's doing her thing. It's really rainy here lately and that's kind of dampening my spirits, but we have had some beautiful days. Yesterday was gorgeous out. I did get outside. I'm trying to do that more for myself get out of the house for non-work-related things. So I do leave my house more now than I did before because of SoulCycle, but really I'm only getting out to like go to work, maybe stop at a store, et cetera, and I really want to try to spend more time in the outdoors now. I don't want to just wait until it's like pool weather, cause you know I like to kick it by the pool. That's one of my favorite things to do. So I do spend a lot of time outdoors in the summer, but I think I need to start that um practice a little bit sooner in the year, like as soon as the weather is nice enough it's not too cold, that might be a thing.
Speaker 1:Anyway, what are we even talking about? What are we talking about today? We are talking about leaning into you, and I think this is a really important topic because it is one of the things that I feel like is most important for us to do, and it's really hard for us to do. So why did this even come up? So over the last week, I had three separate people say similar or related things, and I think that it's interesting, so we're going to talk about it, and the first one was a reflection on what it's like to coach with me.
Speaker 1:So this friend Liz, I met her as a client when I worked for the Life Coach School and I coached her a bunch of times and we've since become friends and we've, like you know, we catch up and stuff and we send each other voice memos and you know we're like regular friends. But she was saying, um, about being coached by me. She was reflecting on like all of the coaching that she's ever had and she was thinking about being coached by me and she said that the space that I held for her really allowed her to lean into all that she is and that she didn't ever feel the need to be any different than she was. Like she could bring all of her questions and never feel like ashamed about them and I always welcomed them and was down to explore and like validate question and really work through like whatever it was that she brought and like y'all. To me this is the point of coaching. It is to have a space where you can like be yourself, where we get to be ourselves free of judgment. But often I think when we go to get coached we're bringing things to coaching that we want to either be coached out of right or that we're like trying to get rid of and abolish from our lives because of our own judgments. So it can be really difficult for us to actually show up 100% as ourselves. So I really appreciate that. You know she was able to have that experience with me. It means a lot to me. It is truly what I work toward and here's the thing I've always known this about myself.
Speaker 1:I was like this with my dancers I'm really direct, like I'd always tell my dancers like if things, if things were not going well, I'd be like, yeah, that wasn't good. And they'd be like, yeah, we know we got it. We're like it's, we're clear on that, but it was always said with love. So I feel like, because I'm always coming to the table or I'm trying to with um, with like zero judgment, um, with such high regard for the people standing in front of me, I hope that it balances out my directness. And obviously this did for her and she felt like wrapped in love and warmth and that allowed her to really open up in a way that to me is just so special, um. So the second one was actually these are all coach friends, by the way. The second was a classmate of mine from certification and she just sent me this little screenshot of a post on Instagram about being a reflector and what it means to be a reflector.
Speaker 1:And I have to tell you, oftentimes I can struggle with being a reflector and what it means to be a reflector. And I have to tell you, oftentimes I can struggle with being a reflector Like it's. It's sometimes hard to figure out, like what to focus on in my life and in my business and I've tried, like to really niche down at times and that's never felt right to me. I still think of myself really as a general life coach, even when I focus on certain areas where maybe I've had some like great experience or proof of concept. Right Like my intuitive scheduling workbook. That resource really works and I know because it was a process that I developed over time with actual people. But I don't always want to be talking about scheduling right Like that's not always like front of mind for me. That's not always what I'm most passionate about. So it just isn't me to be focused on just one thing all the time. So this thing that my friend sent really validated for me what I've always known and I even talked about this like, specifically, when I interviewed Brynn Cohn about like having a multifaceted career in life, right, but I forget, right, like I forget sometimes that that is what is meant for me. So what she sent me was this.
Speaker 1:The post is like hey, reflectors, you may have been taught this Niche down, stick with one path, have the same schedule daily, be consistent, trust your instinct in the moment, but what you're actually meant to do is this be many things. Let your work evolve as you evolve. Move with the natural rhythms of your energy. Honor whatever feels like you that day. Embrace your changing energy levels. Enter into new commitments slowly. I think that last one I really need to think a little bit more about of like entering into new commitments slowly. But anyway, I do strive to do all those things. Right, I am many things and when I'm trying to force myself to be one thing or to stay on one path, I feel so stagnant and uninspired. I really need to follow the path that is bringing me most joy and excitement at the moment, like I really have to be excited about what I'm talking about, right, in order, like to be motivated. That's also the neuro spicy in me, right.
Speaker 1:My special interests sort of shift and change and morph over time. Right, like I'm always interested in human behavior and our brains and bodies and how they work and all of that stuff. Like that's been a special interest of mine, like just like humans, for as long as I can remember, but the content is always changing. So, right, there have been times when I've been like super geeking out over like anatomy and like different movement modalities and how do I translate to like that, to dance and other kinds of movement. And other times it's like I'm talking about like I'm really interested in, like how to improve communication between people. Other times it's about, like how to create a life that looks and feels authentically like you Right, it's always evolving and when I don't honor that, I kind of feel depressed and heavy.
Speaker 1:When I'm really saying, like Chris, you got to like stick to this one thing, talk about this one thing, how are people going to know what you're about if you don't just like stay on this path? Right, when I'm listening to people saying I need to talk about like clear results, like one result that I create for people, it's like I don't just create one result for people, and so I get confused and I get like, okay, what am I supposed to be talking about right now? And that, just like it stops me from showing up, I get all up in my head and that's not really what the point is, because then I stop helping people. Also, I will say telling people that you help them lean into their whole selves is a very vague result that I offer. But that is what I do. When you do that, and if I can help you do that, you really can do anything you want. And that part is for you to figure out, not for me to figure out. And trying to get up, all up in your head to figure out what result you want is just not a thing that works for me personally.
Speaker 1:And so the last thing came up in conversation with my friend Amanda, who I speak to regularly on Zoom. I was actually just thinking about how weird it is that I've never actually met her in person. It's so wild, but I'm sure we've spoken about her before and things that have come up with her. And in conversation with her we were talking about my workbook actually. So it's all very related. And she was like so, just to clarify, like the whole point of the intuitive scheduling workbook is not just about our schedules, but it's also like to create like the business we want as entrepreneurs, and like that extends past just the logistics of how we use our time and encompasses like what we use it for. I was like, yeah, totally, that's absolutely the point. We get to use our time as business owners the way that we want to and do activities in our business, the way that we want and choose specific activities to do, based on who we are as people. It's so much more than just about like what you do and when. It's about why you're doing what you're doing when you're doing it, and that should align with your energy and your inspiration as well.
Speaker 1:And it was so cool because she had had this reflection on being in a mastermind and it coming up that she wanted to be like softly badass, like right. So, um, and I I think that's beautiful Like what does softly badass look like? And, yeah, we get to be that. We get to like work with our own natural like way of being. Like my natural way of being is not to be aggressively out there in people's faces and be loud and be big, and that doesn't mean I don't want to be seen, and so this is something that I work on a lot in therapy. My therapist is, like you need to be seen, don't make yourself small. And I'm like, but it's not about making myself small and it's not that I don't want to be seen, it's just that, like I don't feel like I need to be constantly like on a 10. Or maybe my 10 just looks different and maybe it is quieter, and I'm okay with that and I want to stop making that a bad thing. So I loved that like she had this like softly badass thing come up for her, because she gets to create a business that feels and looks amazing for her, and maybe that is by being soft while like kicking ass.
Speaker 1:So like, what does this mean for you? I hope that it's inspiring you to lean more into you. I hope that it gives you permission to be exactly who you want to be at all times, even though that can be really scary. And I do want to stress that part of leaning into you is that you may have very real resistance to it, because it's not always safe for us to express ourselves fully. But so long as we're in a space that we know that we can handle, like showing up fully as ourselves, we need to try. Okay, we need to try to do that and it's going to be scary.
Speaker 1:But, like, part of it is acknowledging the fear, feeling the fear, processing the fear. It's not just all rainbows and unicorns. Part of leaning into me is leaning into my fear and, let's be honest, unmasking is hard when we've been wearing a mask for so long and it's been doing its job. It's been doing its job to help us move through the world with less external conflict, but that's created more internal conflict for us. So I want you to have less internal conflict and maybe embrace a little bit more external conflict, and that's what unmasking can do. Once we move through the fear and the resistance, expressing your gender in a different, more aligned way can be equally freeing and terrifying. Recognizing and holding space for the terror and the thrill at the same time is part of the human experience. So, again, it's not always safe to do that in every situation, but giving yourself the permission to do it when it feels like it is safe is going to then allow you to build up some of the like fortitude to be able to do it in more situations where maybe there are higher stakes.
Speaker 1:So this all sort of starts with a few simple questions that you can ask yourself, and you don't have to ask yourself all of these questions, maybe pick one, but these are some great questions for getting you closer to you and helping you lean into that. Questions for getting you closer to you and helping you lean into that. So one is what do I most want to do today? What would feel good? I love that question. I just it's a great question, applicable anytime, like what would feel good right now? What would feel good in this situation? What would make me feel amazing in my body? This is so important because we're so disconnected from our bodies most of the time, like most of us are all up in our heads. So if you can really get clear on what would feel good in your body, that would be like a really great step in the right direction.
Speaker 1:Who do I most want to connect with today? We know that connection is a really important part of being a human being. Who do you want to connect to and how do you want to connect with today? We know that connection is a really important part of being a human being. Who do you want to connect to and how do you want to connect to them? I think that's another important question. That sort of branches off of that, because you get to decide how you connect with people. There's no one right way to connect with other people in your life. So decide what that looks like. How do I connect with myself more deeply today? So these questions right off the bat are going to help you do that. But maybe there are other ways in which you can connect more deeply with your own self.
Speaker 1:And the last one is what do I not want to do today? You might not have a choice. We always have a choice, let's be honest. We can always choose to not do things, and sometimes there will be negative repercussions to not doing things, but you always have a choice. Let's be honest. We can always choose to not do things and sometimes there will be negative repercussions to not doing things, but you always have a choice. But I don't want anyone getting in trouble Like because you were, you know, chris was like Chris said that I need to lean into myself. So I'm just like not going to do these things, like no, that's not it. So pick a question that resonates with you and just ask yourself that one for the next week.
Speaker 1:See what comes up, learn about yourself. Start applying them in specific situations, like I was talking about. Right, like, while you're at work, maybe ask yourself what would make me feel amazing in my body and then just listen for the answer. You might learn that there are some sensory needs that you haven't been taking care of. That might help, right, like, if you work in an office with other people I, you know, like one of those places where there's a lot of like overhead fluorescent lighting. Like maybe you need to take like frequent breaks to go be in the dark somewhere I don't know if that's possible, but like you know or maybe you need to get outside and go outside with some like sunglasses and noise canceling headphones and be in like natural light but dampen the rest of the sensory input. You know what I'm saying. Like, get creative with how you can take breaks from, maybe some of the sensory overload that you're experiencing and, like amazing, right, if you do that, you just learn something about yourself that maybe you weren't aware of that now you found a new way to take care of you, because taking care of yourself as a fully formed human, adult person is the most important thing that you can do is to really start showing up for yourself and honoring your needs in every situation when that's possible.
Speaker 1:I want, more than anything, for us all to be more true to who we are and what we need, and the only way to do that is to just start. So start today. Start with these questions. That's all I have for you today, people.
Speaker 1:If you are looking for some more support around leaning into yourself, I have three different offers for you. I have my regular three-month one-to-one package where we meet every week and we talk about whatever is coming up for you. It's a general life coaching thing. We can talk about business, we can talk about relationships, we can talk about communication. We can talk about anything you want, anything's on the table. You can come with a specific goal that you want to work on or we can just work with what comes up week to week.
Speaker 1:My next offer is a six-week scheduling sprint. So we're doing all intuitive scheduling. We're going through the workbook, we're going through all of the energy stuff, all of the environment stuff. We're really picking apart the way you're spending your time and figuring out what is the best way for you to actually use the time that you have in a way that's going to support you and your needs. And then the third one is specifically for coaches, and that's the embodied coaching mentorship, which is three sessions every other week where you get to coach me.
Speaker 1:I give you feedback and we really work on your skill as a coach to help you become the best coach that you can be. And there's. All of these things are going to bring you closer to you. Any one of those offers is going to help you lean in a little bit more. So if you really are interested in working with me, that's how you can do it and reach out to me. You can email me at chris, at the only chris halecom, or you can go onto my website and set up consults for those offers. All right, friends, I hope that you have an amazing week and we'll talk soon. Bye.