105 | In Our Hestia Era

There's a reason we’ve been quiet. We have some news! We're entering into a new season of life that’s asking for a different kind of attention. Our Hestia Era. The Greek Goddess of the hearth, home and hospitality, Hestia represents warmth, stability and quiet strength.

We can’t stop thinking about life as a psychedelic journey. The point of no return, the surrender, the intensity, the resilience, and the 'holy shit, I did that' moment on the other side. We connect it to trauma, self-sabotage, and what it feels like to finally build safety in your body, your relationship, and your home without waiting for the other shoe to drop. We also share an Akashic Records reading, the idea of soul contracts, and why learning to trust can be harder than learning to let go.

We zoom out into the cultural pressure cooker too: feminism vs maternal feminism, stay-at-home mom stigma, and why so many parents are burned out trying to do everything at once. Then we land on a big life update that makes this conversation bittersweet. How we want to keep sharing 'glimmers' instead of performing online. If this podcast has ever helped you feel more curious, more open, or more hopeful, please share with a friend.

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Transcript

Warm Welcome And Catching Up

SPEAKER_02 0:34

It's been a minute. It's been a hot minute. Um, you want to do the honors? Welcome. Hello, everyone. Welcome back to See you on the other side.

SPEAKER_00 0:50

Yeah. So um we have We're sitting across from each other, by the way. If nobody knows this by now, this is just a very clear picture of what we're doing.

SPEAKER_03 1:01

I I do like this better because we used to sit next to each other and now like we can like look at each other. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 1:09

If you see me looking up, we're like making eye contact.

SPEAKER_03 1:12

We're having a conversation. There's just laptops in front of us.

SPEAKER_00 1:15

Exactly.

Pregnancy Reveal And Why We Paused

SPEAKER_03 1:16

Yeah. So we haven't seen or been on here for a little bit. It's been a minute. Um why is that? Why is that, Christine? Yeah. So um I have. I have got some news. Um, if you've seen on our social media or you follow us on social media on social media, you probably know I'm like nervous. You're so nervous. Um but if you don't, I have some exciting news.

SPEAKER_05 1:51

And that exciting news is that I'm having a baby.

SPEAKER_01 2:06

Yes. So um you're having a baby.

SPEAKER_03 2:09

Yeah. Lee and I are having a baby. A little mushroom baby. Yes. No, I am very pregnant. I'm in my third trimester. Um this has been not cooking for a while. She's been cooking for a while, and I've kind of been a little, I feel like I've been a little MIA, and that is why. Um, because I just wanted to focus on this pregnancy um and enjoy this. And yeah, the other news.

SPEAKER_02 2:43

Should I tell this? Let's hold on. Okay. Wait. Yeah. Let's wait. Okay. Because I kind of want to take this back a little bit.

Fertility Fears Birth Control Testosterone

SPEAKER_00 2:51

Okay. Um, it has been really strange. Um, because I I have like, I feel like I'm like, we can't even do drugs together anymore. Like, what are we gonna talk about? No, just kidding. Um, but I want to take this back because we interviewed somebody back in November. Um, his name was Rob Crest. He does men's um hormonal health uh and was a functional pharmacist. Am I getting that right? And after we stopped recording in that episode, um I gotta turn my camera on mute because I just realized people were texting me. Um after we recorded that episode, we stayed on the chat with him, and you talked to him about what?

SPEAKER_03 3:52

Fertility. And then um I went home that day and found out that I was pregnant. And um, you know, it's it's been an interesting journey for, you know, those who have been following. I have two stepdaughters. I have a six-year-old son who's adopted. And I have before before my son came into our lives, I um, my husband and I, we had a little bit of an oopsie, which ended up in a miscarriage. And I think that there, I I know that there's been assumptions just because of some of the things that people have said to me, um that I have tried for a very long time to get pregnant, and that's not true, but I've always had in my head that I couldn't, and I don't know why I've had that in my head, and maybe that's because of a miscarriage.

SPEAKER_00 4:57

Um Do you think part of it too is because you've never really tried, but you also never not tried. Do you think that like messed with your like idea of fertility a little bit?

SPEAKER_03 5:15

Well, I'm gonna get a little TMI on this because you know, I was always on birth control. The reason why I had um gotten pregnant my first time is because I was having my health issues with my UTIs and I got off birth control. And I in my head assumed that I would struggle because I had been on birth control for so long and I got pregnant very quickly. My husband takes testosterone. So even though I had stopped taking birth control, I had never gotten pregnant because he's on testosterone.

SPEAKER_00 5:56

And that's what we were talking to Rob about.

SPEAKER_03 5:58

Yeah. Yeah. And um, so it had just kind of gotten to the point in our relationship where I have um I never saw myself as this, but I've kind of evolved into this. I have really enjoyed being a mother. Are we gonna cry? Yes. You don't have any napkins or tissue down here. They're in there, they're just not stuck. Okay. Okay. Um I always thought I was gonna be this boss babe. And when that stopped and I was having health issues, it was the biggest blessing because then I gotta focus on myself and my home. And I have really enjoyed the relationship that I've developed with my stepdaughters, um and of course, my son. And so over the course of a lot of years, we've always teetered on the should we, shouldn't we, should we, shouldn't we? But we've never really tried. And after we got married this past summer, those conversations started to get more serious. And I am 38, uh, and my husband is just turned 51. And we just kind of had this let's try it, because one thing that we love is we love being parents and we love parenting together. And so um I thought it might be a difficult journey and it wasn't. And um this is also TMI, but this baby was conceived on Kai's gotcha day.

SPEAKER_00 8:02

So I didn't know I don't think I knew that. You did it? I don't think I knew that, but it's also wild because Kai came.

Childbirth As A Psychedelic Journey

SPEAKER_03 8:13

Yes. So that's another thing that people don't know, too, is I had my miscarriage and then I was struggling, and the situation with Kai um happened where someone had reached out to me and told me about Kai. And four weeks later he was in Louisville. When Kai came to Louisville, he came on my due date. So I just feel like that's I know it's such magic. I feel like it's just very divine timing, and all of these hap these things that happened was the universe working in our favor. And so never in my life did I think I would, I would, I would say that I would be coming a mother of four, especially in the way that it's come about to be a stepparent, an adoptive parent, and then also a biological parent too. But um we're so excited. Uh we're so excited. Um, the girls are so excited, Kai's so excited, Tony's so excited, and yeah, that's that's where I am. And um so yeah, I feel very, very happy and very at peace. And uh I have been MIA, we have been MIA, but it's been because we've just been lifing. Lifing hard, life really hard. And so um I'm really excited for this next chapter. And I feel like a lot of what I've read um is that childbirth is very similar to a psychedelic journey. Yes, and so I have been preparing for it like I would a psychedelic journey.

SPEAKER_00 11:22

I love that. I want to let's talk about the comparisons a little bit because I have sat with people before who have never done psychedelics, but have given birth a few times, and they have made those comparisons. Like, oh my God, it's like you, you like, all right, we're doing this, like there's no going back now. Like, once you take that medicine, you're like, all right, here we go. You gotta go through it, and it's gonna be really hard. But at the end, you were rewarded with this beautiful baby lesson, yeah, like experience, experience, like whatever the journey is, like you come out of it on the other side, like holy shit, I did that. Yeah, that was wild. And um, there is an element of surrender in both of those um situations, um, an element of resilience and strength. And I think you the timing of all of this, I've expressed this to you, but I was like, oh my God, like this is like you've done so much work on yourself. Your family has evolved tremendously because you have been leading the way not to take away from Tony. I think the two of you are like a good match and a good team together, and you couldn't do it without the other. Um, and it's just been crazy to watch because I'm like, this is the perfect time for this baby to be here.

SPEAKER_03 13:03

I agree.

Identity Shifts And Nervous System Healing

SPEAKER_00 13:04

And I also want to get into um this is relevant. I had an Akashic reading done yesterday. And some of you know that like our journey starting this podcast was like we left our jobs and our careers, and we got thrown into like being kind of stay-at-home housewives, and we were like, what the fuck is happening? And I struggled with that. I don't want to speak for you, but I feel like we bonded on like the struggles of like doing all this stuff that we had never had to do before. Like, yeah, I'm cooking and I'm cleaning, and I'm the taxi and I'm running my kids around, and my husband's in law school, so like he's not able to be like present emotionally or physically as much as I would like him to be. And so it just kind of like all the parenting fell on me. And the first year of that when I walked away from my job felt like um an identity crisis. And you and I talked a lot about it. Like, I just feel like I'm not being seen. I feel like I'm not being valued, I feel like I'm being underappreciated. I feel like he doesn't see all the stuff that I do when he's gone. He doesn't see the emotional, like the parenting that I'm doing. And it felt heavy to do all of that. But something shifted. And I feel like he finally saw the value in me being at home. And I think it's like having a teenage teenager who's about to graduate from high school and move away to college. And I was able to pick up on things with him and his state of mind. And I was able to like kind of notice when things started to shift. And I think about this now. I'm like, I don't know that I would have noticed it before because I was burnt out and I would come home and I just was tired all the time. Um, and I hadn't, I didn't have the capacity to hold space for my family anymore. I was holding so much space for my clients and putting so much, like so many of their emotions coming onto me, and then I would go home and I would just like want to just turn myself off. And you couldn't have told me then that I wasn't a present parent. You couldn't have told me that. I would have disagreed with you because I thought I was. But when I take a look now at where my where my nervous system was, like how dysregulated I was, how how dysfunctional our family was, and I look at it now, I'm like, no, I I absolutely was not a present parent. I did the best that I could, and it was good enough for that time, but I cannot even fathom or imagine, and we've talked about this, I cannot imagine going back to having to work all day and come home and have to do this parenting shit with a clear mind and with an open heart that has space for my children and what they're going through and my husband and what he's going through. I did not have the capacity to hold it all, and it feels like now I do. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_03 17:01

Yes, very much so. Also at like thank God that all of the things happen the way that they needed to happen because I think that the phase of life that your family is in, you needed to be home because your kids really need you right now.

SPEAKER_00 17:27

Yeah. And and it's it there's no anger or resentment towards my husband at all. Like he is like he has six months left of law school. He's been working his ass off. Like he works still a full-time job and goes to school two to three nights a week and is studying the rest of the week. And it's like, I see what he's doing, and I know that what he's doing is for our family.

Akashic Records And Soul Contracts

SPEAKER_01 17:53

And we have been, we've it just feels like we're finally a team, and it feels really good.

SPEAKER_00 18:08

And so last night in this Akashic reading, I don't know if anybody knows what this is. Do I need to explain it? I should probably explain it.

SPEAKER_01 18:17

This is some woo-woo shit, people, okay? Well, and I've never had a reading before either.

SPEAKER_03 18:22

Like I know what it is. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:24

Um, I've had one other reading, and it was like, I think um it was years ago. And I'm in a very different place now. So my questions were different. But the Akashic Records are basically like your soul contract, what you decided you were gonna do before you came into this lifetime, and the lessons you were gonna learn, and the obstacles you were gonna put in your way, and the people that you were going to put in your path to help move you forward in these lessons and to help teach you the lessons. And even if those people were like the worst boyfriend you've ever had, or the most toxic mother-in-law you've ever encountered, like they you chose that. You put that in your records so they could teach you the lessons you were supposed to learn in this lifetime. I believe in this shit. I don't know if anybody else does, but there is a sense of comfort in that, knowing also that like, oh, I chose my childhood. And there is also peace and comfort in knowing that, like, look up where we were when we were kids and the the stuff that we grew up in, and we've we've shared all of this stuff in the beginning of our podcast, and where we are now, and our relationships with our families are different, and our we're no longer the victims to this. We are we have overcome these obstacles, we have seen uh these things through a different perspective, and and we have so much more grace and compassion for the people that hurt us, those lessons were necessary, yes, to get to this point where it's like leveling up, yeah. It's like I needed to know that to see that like why is this hard? I needed to see like fully how hard it was to be a stay-at-home mom to have more grace and compassion for my mom and how she parented because she wasn't a stay-at-home mom, she was a teacher, and she didn't have a good partner, and my dad wasn't a teammate in their relationship or in their parenting, and so it felt like, oh my God, she was trying to do this and didn't have the tools, and has so much compassion for her and what she tried to do.

SPEAKER_01 21:06

It's hard.

Trust Safety And The Other Shoe

SPEAKER_00 21:08

Um, and so outside of that, I am like very grateful that I get to be in this position now. And I don't know that I could ever go back to working the way that I did before. Um, so in this past life reading or a akhic records reading, you go in and you ask like a list of questions. You're supposed to go in with like 20 questions, maybe. You don't get through all the questions because some of them are connected and some of them get answered before you even get there. But the person doing the reading, they're usually like clairvoyant or a medium, and they can tap into the records and read. Like, I don't know if it's reading the way that we read, but like they can like see what your records are. That's so wild. It's crazy. And if I hadn't already had the first experience, I would have been like, that's not real. But like the first experience I ever had was like accurate and on point. So in this lesson, in this reading, you know, I'm like, okay, what's next for me? Um and the answer I got was like, you're doing it. Like your family needs you. Like they've always needed you, and and they will always need you. And there was a goddess that I sent you that came up, and I can't remember her name. See if you can find that real quick. But this image of a goddess came up, and um the other thing that came up is that, you know, I was like, you know, why is my what is the lesson? What is the contract that I made to have my husband in my life? Like, what is the lesson there? Like, what is he in my life to teach me? And it was safety and to trust that I am safe. And I have only said this to maybe you, maybe one other person. Sometimes I look at where I am now, even compared to like a year or two ago, two years ago, maybe not a year ago, two years ago. I'm like, oh my God, like this is going so well. What if something bad happens? Life is like, it feels so good. I feel like I have such An amazing partner. Like my kids are all good. Um, what if it's preparing me for something bad?

SPEAKER_03 23:41

I think that is a very um something that's very relatable to probably a lot of people is that self-sabotage. Because I've I've recently gone through that too. You have? Yeah, of course. Of course. Where it's like, I'm I love my family. I never thought I would get here. I've worked so hard for this, I've done so so much work on myself. Yeah. When's the other shoe gonna drop?

SPEAKER_00 24:08

Yes. I don't like feeling like that because I'm like, why can't I just be happy that, like, oh my God, this is the life I dreamed of. Like, I didn't even dream of this. I couldn't have dreamed a better life than what I'm living right now. And I I mean, it could be better. I could have a little bit more of a budget to play with. But, you know, we're on a budget right now. It's fine. I can live with that. But, you know, I'm I'm like, what if it all goes away? And this is gonna sound terrible. And maybe it was you I said this to. I don't know if it was you. But there was a time I used to wish, and I I hope this doesn't make people judge me. I don't think it will because I have heard other people say this before to me. Um, I used to wish something bad would happen to my husband so I didn't have to leave him. Wow. Um in the the thick of his addiction. Like when he didn't come home, I was like okay with it. Because I'm like, I hope he doesn't come home. I hope something happens. And then I don't have to leave. Wow. And now my biggest fear is what if something happens to him?

SPEAKER_02 25:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:32

And I don't like feeling that way. So in the reading last night, I expressed that, and he said, When when did you feel safe when you were little? And when were things pulled out from under you? And I was like, all the fucking time we moved every year. We were always trying to get away from my dad. And then my dad would come back and then we would get settled in, and then like six months later, we're moving again. And it was like there was never safety.

unknown 26:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:08

So it always felt like once I was in a new school and I made new friends, and things finally felt like, oh, my parents are getting back together, it would be ripped away. And so the lesson in that for me was to trust that this is real and I can sit in that instead of waiting for the next shoe to drop. Because it might not.

SPEAKER_02 26:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:35

It probably won't.

SPEAKER_02 26:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 26:39

I don't know. Hopefully that helps some people. No, I think I think I think that's a very relatable um form of self self-sabotage. Because I've and two, I I would choose partners who um were emotionally unavailable or things were chaotic because it was there was like a familiarity with like shit's gonna go wrong, and then that's like at least like that's something that's ex expected and my body is used to. Whereas when you do do a lot of work, you work on yourself, you work on your relationship, you work on your family to get to a good, uh grounded, regular, regulated place, you're waiting, like, okay, well now something bad has to happen. Because it's like that's kind of your default. Yeah. And so, and so like it takes work to stay in presence and gratitude almost. Yeah. Because that's not what your body is necessarily used to. You have to work for your body to get to that. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 27:58

Like, point. I right now, my my next thing, this is like I because I asked this, I was like, what's the next thing for me? It was like to learn to trust and surrender. And I feel like I'm pretty good at surrendering, but the trust thing is harder for me. Like, I need to embody this trusting that like things are gonna work out. But who's this goddess? Do you find her?

SPEAKER_03 28:24

Yeah. So Hestia, is that how you say it?

SPEAKER_00 28:26

That's how it's a H-E-S-T-I-A.

SPEAKER_03 28:28

Yeah, Hestia is the Greek goddess of home and hospitality, representing domestic stability and the sacrificial flame. As a virgin goddess and the eldest child of Cronus and Rhea, she received first offerings at meals and sacrifices. She is known for her calm, gentle, and forgiving personality, avoiding the drama of Olympus.

SPEAKER_00 28:52

I love that.

SPEAKER_03 28:53

Yeah.

Maternal Feminism And Trad Wife Labels

SPEAKER_00 28:53

Are we in our Hestia era? I think so. So in one of our podcasts, we like kind of alluded to this thing that I changed my mind about, and it was like feminine um feminism and then maternal feminism. I gotta stop looking at you. I'm sorry. Like people are watching this, they're like, what the fuck is she looking at? Um but maternal feminism, and I think I should link that episode or a couple of those episodes in the show notes of this for people to go and listen to because you were saying earlier, like you never would have imagined being a mother the way that you are and loving it. And I think people look at what I'm doing and and think, like, oh, she's a trad wife. Now I am not a trad wife. But they look down on these trad wives. They look down on these like stay-at-home moms because they should be out working for the man and they should be what happened, what you should never rely on a man. And I'm like, I feel I feel bad for them because they've never found a good man. And I think I didn't get lucky. I don't want to say that. I did not get lucky. Like, I built him up. I worked night and day. Oh my God. Build a man. 25-8. I did that. I did that. He did it. He did it, but oh my God, you all know the journey that we've been on. And so, like, I never in a million years would have thought that one day I would have a partner that I wanted to do these things for. I want to make sure your load is lighter. I want to make sure you're reaching your goals. And it's it's a mutual thing. So it's like, yes, I'm I'm home and I'm doing these things. And no, I'm not bringing money in. But he finally sees like my value in being home. He sees it in our kids. He has noticed a difference in our kids having a present mom. Um, and so I think that there's something to this, like maternal feminism and knowing that like there's power in that too. There is so much power in choosing this life. I didn't choose this life. This life chose me. I I never would have wanted it. I used to want to work to get away from my husband, you know. Like I used to stay late at work, so I didn't have to go home to what I had to go home to. And so work for me was like a nice little escape sometimes. And now, you know, when he went to law school, me quitting my job was kind of the only option for us to do that. And I struggled, and now I'm like, oh my God, that was such a blessing. So I might be done talking now.

SPEAKER_03 31:55

No, no, no, don't be done. But I was I was gonna say, like, the also this whole like trad wife thing, I feel like there are always trends. There are always gonna be trends, and it's like you're a trad wife or you're like a trad wife hater is like kind of like a big thing that you see on social media now. Um, and for me, it's like I don't identify with the label.

SPEAKER_02 32:22

No.

Burnout Moms And Needing Real Support

SPEAKER_03 32:22

This is just right now what works for me and my family. Um, you know, again too when when Kai came into our lives, I owned a business and um I think about, you know, him being in daycare and and a lot of the things that I felt I missed because I was constantly dysregulated and stressed and, you know, trying to run a business through a pandemic and trying to be, you know, a business owner and a friend and all of these things, but also be a mother. And um I feel like I missed out on a lot of things. And it got to the point where, again, so much stress caused me to have all of these health issues to the point where even though I would have kept going, staying miserable, my body was like, nah, bitch, bitch, take it, take a beat. Sit down. Yeah, sit down and like whatever. And that stuff needed to happen. So for this go-around, this is what I want to do because this is what works out for me and what works out for my family. And that's okay if something different, like if you have a different plan with your life, your family, whatever it is, and you know, people being allowed to trust their own intuition and their own discernment on what works for them, but also like trying to stay connected to yourself to figure out what does work for you and your family.

SPEAKER_00 34:02

I think that's probably the harder part. I am part of this mom group that I have been a part of for over a decade because I went dark on Facebook for like 10 years and I got it back. So it's been a while, but it's like moms with careers making it all work. And I'm still in this group. And sometimes seeing these posts breaks my heart because these women are burnt out and they're like, I need help. Like my body is breaking down. I have all this chronic pain. Um, I have, you know, depression, I have anxiety and I don't know what to do. And, you know, I'm I work 40 hours and my kids are running around. It's like, it's like, I just want to scream and help people because we were not meant to do all of that alone. We were not, and a lot of these women are like complaining about how their husbands don't do shit. And that makes me sad too.

SPEAKER_03 35:03

Yeah, I don't relate to that.

SPEAKER_00 35:04

I I don't either. Like, literally, from I will give credit to Jason for this. Like, even when he was not a good husband, he was he was a helpful dad. He did bath time, he did all of our cooking. He does all the grocery store runs. Like, he's always done that. So the cooking for me, like, I know that sounds ridiculous that I learned to cook in my late 30s, 40s, but like I cook almost every night now. Yeah. And I try to do things from scratch, and we don't eat out as much. And, you know, I'm trying to, you know, like I'm just saying, like, he was always helpful in those ways. And I used to, I actually had a friend one time, like, when I expressed that like I was unhappy and and was thinking about leaving, she was like, You literally have the perfect husband. He cooks and he cleans and he helps with the kids. And I'm like, yeah, but he also like doesn't respect me. And we're not a team, and we don't parent the same way. And you know, he has an addiction. Like, you know what I mean? Like, like it's like people see that stuff and they're like, oh, he's such a good man.

SPEAKER_03 36:14

I'm like, no, he was they see the surface of it.

SPEAKER_00 36:17

Yeah, yeah. And I do appreciate that. Like that was like something off of my plate, and I fully appreciate that. But to like see all these moms who are like struggling and and looking for advice and seeking answers because they're like, I do all the cooking, I do all the cleaning, I I do all the child parenting, I do all the I work, I'm the breadwinner, and I just wanna, I just want to help. And I don't know how. I don't know how.

Numbing Culture And Choosing Curiosity

SPEAKER_03 36:46

Yeah. Well, I think, you know, again, this is a lesson. And if you're willing to see the lesson, not everybody's not everyone's there. No, you're right. We were talking about it, you know, before we started recording about um, you know, having a hard time when you are hearing someone talk about how much they are struggling. And uh it's like a canon event where you like see the writing on the wall and you want to help and you want to give advice and you may like plant some seeds, but there is a lack of curiosity or um you know that what you say isn't gonna get through to them. They're not they're not ready to hear, they're not ready to change. They're they're they're staying in it. And it it's hard to be around people like that, but like they're not ready to see the lesson. And that's that's hard. And I feel like that is a lot of what you see. And it's too why I've struggled to like really get back onto social media is because I feel like in so many different ways people are numbing themselves, whether it's you know, alcohol, drugs, our phone, social media, work, medication, medication, um doom scrolling, you know, you name it, but it is it's it's like a way to numb in what we're trying to do and trying to talk about is like connecting and feeling and what if you heal?

SPEAKER_00 38:37

Yeah, like the numbing's not working anymore, right? Right. We're all not all, but so many people are doing all this numbing and it's it's it almost makes everything worse. Yeah. And so it's like, you know, right, what if you get curious about it instead of looking for a numb, something to numb? Um, what if you're okay with like feeling what it's supposed to feel like? And what if you're what if it's okay that like you don't have a career that's 40 hours a week and nine to five and taking away from your family and and that's okay? Like what if that what if you don't, what if society, like what if all this pressure is not even from you, but it's from everything else and everybody else, and like I don't know, it it just it breaks my heart.

SPEAKER_03 39:34

You know, I saw a video where this woman was talking about how she um went to nursing school, was a nurse, I think worked in the emergency room. Don't quote me on this, but like worked in the emergency room and saw a lot of stuff during COVID that was very traumatic and all this. And now she, even though she like went to school for it, you know, worked in that career field forever, now she waitresses a few times a week because it's she realized that like her career wasn't her purpose, and she just wanted to like make a di make a decent living while also protecting her mental health and again be able to go home and like not have to stress and worry about that job. And I was like what an what an interesting like perspective to have and what an interesting like change and that is something that in society's standards would be deemed um a failure, a step down, or a step down or a downgrade, and you again it's kind of going back to what I said, you use like you connected with yourself and use your own discernment, and instead of following like a trend or society's expectations, you're doing what feels right for you. And I I was like, I I I love that.

SPEAKER_00 41:16

I kind of backed off a little bit, but uh my husband was laid off last month. Um, half of his company was let go, and it was like huge because we're like, we have six months left until he's done with law school. Like, what the fuck are we gonna do? And I knew he was gonna land in a better position, but he was not he tends to not, he tends to get very cynical and and realistic, and like we're gonna have to go into our savings and you're gonna have to get a job. And so for two weeks I was like looking for jobs, and I just kept thinking like it needs to be easy, it can't take away from it, can't, it can't be hard, it needs to be something I can go in and leave and come home and not bring my work home with me. I was literally looking to be a barista in like Starbucks or like a local coffee shop because I'm like, you know, I've always wanted to know how to make lattes and you know, like matcha would love I know. Like I like I love, like I have a whole folder of latte recipes in my Instagram because I'm like, oh, that would be so cool. I don't even drink coffee every day. I drink green tea, but like it would be really cool to learn how to do all this stuff. And in the back of my mind, I'm like, but it can't be local. I need to like go out, like I need to like go to the next town over because what if people see me working at Starbucks? I did not say that to you, but I have felt that. And you saying that just now, like feeling like it's a step down. That's exactly what it feels like. Like, how do I go from like owning this successful business and everybody knowing who I was because it was a small fucking town, and that's just how it is. And then, you know, when people meet me, they're like, what do you do? I'm like, oh, I own this place. Here's my card. Um, and now when people ask what I do, I'm like, I'm a stay-at-home mom. I don't like that. I don't like that at all. I don't like feeling like I can't say it and be proud of it. But then this, like, if I say I like work at a coffee shop, what it what are people gonna think? Like that I failed, that like we're failing in life. No, it's because I'm like willing to go back to work so we could like help in this financial situation if I need to, but I'm also going to protect my peace.

SPEAKER_03 43:43

I also don't know, you know, and again, too, this is sometimes where I don't agree with some modern day feminism. And this is not every feminist. I'm not saying that. Sometimes I feel like we take things very black and white. Um, but for me, taking care of my family is the most important job. I'm like, that's I'm raising human beings with my life partner. Uh we have this talk with our kids a lot, not necessarily my son who's six, but um with the girls a lot about you know, they stress about school and and work and all of these things. Um, and we talk to them a lot about how that stuff doesn't matter. You know, careers are gonna come can come and go, jobs will come and go, but like it really matters who your partner is, and that's like a very, very important decision. And it's not something that's often talked about in that way because it's like you have your partner, okay. Let's say you start dating in college and then you get done with college, okay. What are you guys gonna do with your career? Okay, now you guys have your career. When are you guys moving into house? Okay, now you have your house. When are you guys gonna like start having a family? Okay, now you start having a family. Then blah blah blah blah blah blah. And it's like, no, but it like this is the person who you're going to most likely experience the death of your parents with. This is the person who like you might go. Go through some financial struggles with or a career change with. Um, you might experience deep grief and loss with this person. So like we as parents are like, fuck the job. Who who are you and what kind of partner are you gonna choose? And then all that other stuff. It can get figured out.

SPEAKER_00 45:59

Who's your team?

SPEAKER_03 46:00

Yeah. Who's your team? So again, I do think a lot of moms feel it it feels very demeaning or again, society, societal pressure or expectations of like, oh, I'm just a stay-at-home mom, where I see it very differently, where I'm like, I take care of my family. I'm the heart of my I'm the heart of my home. And there are a lot of women who you see are so burnt out with their careers, and then, you know, trying to maintain a relationship with their partners, take care of their kids, clean the house, go to other kids' events, cook, cook meals, friendships, friendships, and they are so burnt out. Um, and so it it it's just it might be worth looking at, like making some changes because you are the heart of the home. And I feel like that is fathers are very, very important in very different ways. But the mother and having a grounded, regulated mother, I now think is like it is such an essential role in the family. And so if if if there is not that in the home, I think a lot of other things can kind of fall to the wayside and fall apart. I think it's very important for the mother to stay grounded in herself.

SPEAKER_00 47:37

Like if she's good, everybody's good. You set the tone for the whole family.

SPEAKER_03 47:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 47:43

The other thing I want to, I I feel like I need to go back to this because when he lost his job, it was two weeks. And and you know, you and I talked a lot during that time because I was like very hopeful and positive and was like, we'll be fine. Like I know we'll be fine. I know in my heart that like something better will come along, and he's just spiraling right now and he needs to have his moment. Like, I get that, but like he's mad that I'm okay. He's mad that I am like hopeful that and and not just hopeful, but like I knew that we would be fine. And that bothered him.

SPEAKER_03 48:21

Well, and I feel like it's hard to kind of another societal thing where it's just like when you lose your job, it's like life is over.

Adoption Travel Fear And True Teamwork

SPEAKER_00 48:32

Yeah. And maybe that needed to happen for something better to come along. It did. And we're, you know, we're having all these conversations, like Lee, we might need to sell the house. I'm like, okay, we'll sell the house. We'll downsize. Like, you know, I know that in six months you have a job lined up. Like, we're gonna get we just need to survive six months. Like, we'll do whatever we need to do to survive that. Like, if we need to sell the house, we'll sell the house. And he's like, that's a big deal. I'm like, it's not that big of a deal. The kids will be fine, you know. Like just a house. It's just a house. Like, it's not, you know, we can do that. If if that takes the load off and and gets us by, but also we've been preparing for this like job transition the entire time he's been in school. So we have savings. We've just been on a tight budget. And literally two weeks later, he gets a job and it's better and the benefits are better. And not only that, he doesn't have to lie about being in law school anymore. They know he's leaving in six months. They know that he has class on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays. Like they, and I'm like, that has to feel good, right? Like that now you're not like keeping a secret from your company, and we have better benefits now. And so, you know, this happens, and two weeks later, I'm like, told you, told you. But we had a conversation about this. Like him and I had a conversation about this. And I was like, you know, we have gone through so much together. And it feels like every time we go through something hard, it makes the next hard thing that much easier to get through. Because, you know, it was there was a little bit of a struggle there. It was only two weeks. But he eventually came into the room one time and he was like, Look, I'm really sorry that I'm having a hard time right now and I'm struggling. Like, I want you to stay positive. Because I was like, he doesn't like me when I'm positive. He was like, I need you to stay positive. I love that you stay positive through this because I can't imagine if you weren't. So it just felt like, oh my God, okay, this is my role. Like, I stay positive so you can like keep going, you know? And he would do the same for me, and he has done the same for me. And that's like something I never thought would happen, you know? So all these hard things that we go through, it's almost like building this toolkit and we're bringing it along with us every time. And now it almost feels like, dude, there's nothing we can't get through. Like we'll we've got this. Like, this is and our kids are gonna be fine. Like, we sat our kids down and told them he lost his job and that we were gonna have to make some changes and things might look different, and you know, I think about this now too. Like they got to witness this almost life-shattering event and us getting through it as a family. And I don't know, it just it felt good.

SPEAKER_03 51:46

Yeah. Um this was a little while ago, but I I relate to Jason a little bit in those types of situations because it's like I kind of go to like worst case scenario, and I think you remember this, but um, you know, when we had a destination wedding and we were struggling with lawyers being worried if Kai Kai was not we had a we've had a lot of um struggles with finalizing Kai's adoption. And so there was a worry and a stress about Kai traveling for our destination wedding that wasn't a worry or stress when we had originally planned the wedding because there was a different precedent. And um a lot of lawyers were pretty much saying that we should cancel the wedding and or we should leave Kai at home.

SPEAKER_00 52:51

And we're like What was the fear there that they were gonna that not let him travel with you?

SPEAKER_03 52:57

Yes, or they were not going to let him come back to the US and we were going to get sent to the Marshall Islands um for who knows how long. Um, and if you know where the Marshall Islands is, that's not a easy, quick trip. It's it's a it's a jaunt. Um it's yeah, so it I was freaking out and stressing and all of that. And Tony did so much research and used his own discernment to not trust the lawyers and not give in to the fear and have all of our paperwork ready. And also he was like, at the end of the day, like if something wrong happens and we have to go to the Marshall Islands, I found an Airbnb and it's on the water, and I can work from home, and you get to visit your family, and you get to see your boo-boo, my that's my that's grandma and Marshallese, and your siblings and your cousin, and Kai gets to like reconnect with his birth family, and I can still have a job, and we have this Airbnb for a month or two months or however we need it. We'll figure it out. And we'll be fine, and we'll be fine. And he's like, and we'll be together. So what does it matter? And I was like, damn. Is this what safety feels like? Yeah, dang, yeah, yeah. And it worked out and it was fine. But he was like, I'm not gonna take no for an answer, and there's no way that our son is not going to come and watch us get married. No way in hell over my dead body. Um, I don't even know where I was going with that. And so again, for me just the trust and then them being positive. Yeah, and but the but the stuff that we stress about, the jobs, the whatever, like really put into perspective, like that doesn't does not matter. Like, why am I giving into this fear when I have like so much love? And love is like the highest vibration. Um and as long as we're together, we've got this. I saw this video, it was at TikTok, and it was just a video of like a girl driving, and you could tell she was sobbing and her she was driving her dad. Her dad was dying of cancer and he was in hospice and she was like, I I can't do life without you. Like you're my favorite person in the world. Like I can't, you're who I talk to. If I need something, you're who I call. Like I can't do this without you. And to listen to him be so like reassuring. And he's like, I'm I'm not all you have. You have your sister and you have your brother and you have your husband, or you know, whoever he said. And he's like, You have those people too. Um and she said something like, But you're like, you're my favorite person. And he's he and he she's like, I don't want to not be with you. And he's like, What did he say? I'll have to look it up. But he said something like, like, eternity is forever. Like, we're we're gonna like we're not gonna be separated, we're gonna come back together again.

SPEAKER_01 56:49

I was like, you just watch sad videos all the time now that you're pregnant.

SPEAKER_03 56:56

I literally cry so much now that I'm pregnant. More than me. I feel like every time we do an episode, you're the one who's cried, and I'm doing pretty good holding it together. And now I'm like, I feel like I cry for everything. And it's real crazy. But like I even think about how you were talking about like the stress of like, well, what if something bad happens to my husband? And I because I think about that too.

SPEAKER_00 57:24

But I also I'm like that's reassuring, but also like I wonder how many more people think like that.

SPEAKER_03 57:29

100% so fucked up, but also like what a gift to have that you have such profound love. Yo shit. And you get to and you get to experience that and have that.

SPEAKER_01 57:47

What the fuck?

SPEAKER_03 57:52

Like, how lucky am I? Yeah, how lucky are you that you got that time? What the fuck? Yeah, I know. I don't know. But it is, it's like what a gift. Yeah, what a gift that you get to feel that love and you get to have that kind of a relationship, and you get to have those, you know, experiences where you have those bonds and you have those connections. So it's like even if you know something bad does happen, what a blessing it is that like you've loved somebody so much you missed, like you can't imagine life without them.

SPEAKER_01 58:29

Okay, I'm missed up. Shit.

Psychedelic Stigma And Changing Minds

SPEAKER_00 58:32

But the other thing I want to add to that is like I don't even want to say if, but I'm like, you know, knowing what we have now, you know how people like repeat bad relationship after bad relationship after bad relationship, and they like get stuck in these patterns. And it's like, you know, Jason used to say when we were like not good, like, well, I would never date again. Like, fuck relationships. He was like, you would find a rich man to take care of you in a heartbeat. And it used to bother me so bad because I'm like, why do you say like I don't want a rich man to take care of me? Like, first off, I worked almost my whole life, so like that's never been the goal. But now I'm like, it would if thank you. If we, if if I was never not with him, it would take so much for someone to step in and even try oh my god, yeah, to like win me over. Like I absolut, like the bar is up here. Yeah. And I don't know that I would ever find that again. But if I did, I would know it. You know what I mean? Like, I would not like go back. I couldn't. And I just I like I'm like, I want everybody to have this. I want everybody to experience this. So I feel like let's take it back to that. It started with us. It started with working on ourselves, it started with healing the things in us that needed to be felt and expressed and processed and touched. And it took a while to get here. It was a long, hard road. But now that we're here, I look back and I'm like, it was worth it. Um, this came up recently. Um, and I'm not gonna give details, but a friend was struggling, and you know, me being the positive person I am, which by the way, that that weekend that like he lost his job, I was away at a retreat, and somebody said to me, they were like, You were literally one of the most positive people I've ever met. And I'm like, Thank you. I worked really hard to be positive. But I've also witnessed so many positive things happen in my life that I'm like, how could I not be positive? I didn't, I wasn't always like this. But someone was, a friend was struggling, and you know, I think maybe being around me or other people who were like further along in their journey of healing was like probably like something that looked like it was unattainable. And I said to them, this is not who I was five years ago. This is not the life I had five years ago. Five years ago, I was also having suicidal ideations and struggling and not happy and didn't know what the next thing was and had no idea what was going on in my life and what, you know, how to fix it. So don't look at where I am now and compare yourself to that. But if you saw the journey that it took to get here, you would know that I have absolutely been where you've been, and there is 1,000% a chance to get out of it. Like everybody has that opportunity. You all, everybody does. You just have to. This is gonna sound so fucking cheesy. Be open. But I think most importantly, be a little bit more curious because you and I have had this conversation. Like, I will say something to somebody about like being at a retreat, and they don't even ask what kind of retreat. And I'm like, damn, you're not even curious about like, I don't need to tell you, you know, like I'm not like I need to shout it from the rooftops, blah, blah, blah. But I'm like, yeah, dang, if you just ask me a little bit about my life or like how I why I'm the way that I am, or how I don't know, like you might learn a thing or two. And that goes for everybody. Yeah. Like I just wish we were a little bit more curious about someone else's path when you see that they're doing okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:14

Well, even too, I mean, when we started this podcast, a lot of people were like, wow. Um two moms decided to start a podcast talking about drugs. That's crazy. And I'm like, well, even I think I I know I told you this, but um, we were in Florida recently, and I went to a nail salon. Oh yeah, and I got my nails done, and I was talking to the um woman doing my nails about what we do and psychedelics and how it changed my life, and how you know, we've you know, helped change other people's lives, and well, they changed their own lives, but you know what I mean.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:06

Um and she was like fascinated by it, and the receptionists overheard us talking. And when I went to go check out, she got so defensive and upset, and it's so crazy to like think about just even being in this situation because she was listening to our conversation, and so she brought it up and she was like, I you know, I don't know how you do that, it's it's crazy, like whatever. And her experience with psychedelics is that she did LSD when she was 14 and she took eight tabs, which eight too many, seven too many. If you, yeah, if you know like anything about one, what we talk about that's not at all how we talk about psychedelics and plant medicine and any of that. And like I was trying to explain like that's like you, of course, had a not great experience because it's like you know, instead of taking the recommended dose for taking an ibuprofen, you just you just swallowed three bottles, like you're you're not gonna feel good, you're not gonna have a good experience. It is our responsibility to use these intentionally and responsibly, and and you did not do that. And like, how do you explain to somebody you're projecting and you had one experience and you did it completely wrong, and now you have no information because you've refused to hear any information because you have closed yourself off. There's no openness or curiosity to it. So whatever I'm saying, it just triggered you. And instead of like hearing what I have to say, it's whatever. And you know, I was talking to her about you know Johns Hopkins and these studies and and whatever, and she just anyways, something happened, my nail got messed up, I had to go back, and we were able she apologized because she got in trouble. That's what the nail tech told me. She got in big, big trouble. Um, but she apologized and I was able to have more of a conversation and like not saying that she's gonna, she's gonna go, no, she's not, she's gonna go and take, take a tab tomorrow. But I was able to talk more freely about it where again there wasn't that defensiveness, but I'm like, it's it's just wild to hear how people are can be so like closed off to information and you don't know what you're talking about. You just don't have any information, and that's okay. But it's it's I think about, you know, when I first met you um when we hadn't seen each other for a while because of COVID, and we met up at Codoba. I will never forget it. And I was like, you seem different, you seem lighter, like it's your energy, you know. Tell me, and you told me. And I can't imagine being so closed off and not curious in that conversation because my openness and curiosity in that sit-down changed the trajectory of my life. Just from being willing to like hear about it and ask questions about it.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:55

I thought about that meetup in Qdoba the other day. Oh really? I did. Because and maybe I said this to you, um if we had met up six months before that, I wouldn't have had it wouldn't have been the same type of interaction because when we met up, Jason had already been a year sober. But that first year of him getting sober, I was not in a good place. And I think about that often. I'm like the timing of everything is just so crazy because it's just like everything happened the way that it was supposed to happen. How can you not trust that everything will continue to happen the way that it's supposed to happen? The timing of things is for a reason. And I don't know. It just this whole episode feels very I'm gonna say this word and then I want you to explain why. Okay. It feels final.

unknown 1:09:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:09

Does it feel like that? Yeah, yeah. Um I have some other news.

Moving To Florida And Closing This Chapter

SPEAKER_01 1:09:19

We weren't even trying to make it sound like that. It just like everything, like it's like flowing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:25

Um my husband got a job, and uh we are going to be moving to Florida, and so Leah and I have had just a lot of conversations about um where this is going. And we've been on quite the ride the last what four four years? Four years, almost five. It was 2022 when we did our first episode. Okay. Um, the last four years and it's this like very bittersweet feeling because um I don't even know. I there's so many layers to it. Yeah. Uh the friendship that we have formed. Um the healing that we have done together. I don't have any friends who I have done this type of shit with.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:32

You don't puke in buckets with your other friends.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:37

Uh it's been so healing to like it's lit something in us to record these episodes where whether we were having private conversations, private conversations, where we were having conversations with just each other, or man, the people that we've interviewed.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:01

And oh my god, the connections we've made.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:03

The connections that we've made and how many times we've interviewed somebody, and it the interview has ended, and we both have been like, wow, that felt like therapy, or like this is this was my favorite interview ever, or that, you know, that person is like incredible.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:22

Or we needed that today. We needed to hear that specifically for this situation that I'm currently going through today.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:29

Yeah, you know, like that happens so often. The connections that we've made with our listeners, like I have been so grateful for this road and this journey. And so again, the fact that we're going through these life changes and I'm moving. Um and it's we're ending on this positive. There's a lot of conflicting feelings about it, um, because of what it's given the both of us. Um yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:19

So when you when you told me you were moving, this is like at the beginning of the year, I feel like, that you said this. And I remember you saying, like, you're moving right after you you have the baby.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:31

And you said, maybe we can still record remote. And I said, bitch, you're gonna have a newborn. What a joke. No, what are you talking about? I don't know if you remember what it's like having a baby, but it's hard as fuck. We're not recording, but I'm it's hard enough with our life right now.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:50

It's hard and it like, you know, we started out strong and we're like meeting twice a week, and then like it started to like dissipate. And then this last year, you know, we weren't even planning on coming back, and we came back and we were like, okay, let's do this. And then like this all happened. But I also think the timing of it is so perfect and final, and it's a perfect ending and goodbye to everybody. Not to you. You're stuck with me.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:27

Um, I'm really mad that you're taking the baby away after she's born because I want to just come over and hold her whatever I want.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:36

Well, the good news is we're gonna come here a lot.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:39

That's true.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:40

That is very good news.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:41

And I also think like I have this is the first time in my husband's life that he has not had a five-year plan and acted on it. And so we really like do not know what life is gonna look like for us once he's graduated. He has a job lined up, but once he's done, we can go anywhere. Like, I have a child moving out of my house this summer and living on his own. And really, he's the one that we've like stayed put for, like, doesn't do well with change and new environments. And so now that he's leaving, we're like, dude, maybe we'll just move right to Florida.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:21

We've talked about we have we have literally talked about this. Like, you know, we can go anywhere, and the gyms in Florida are better. My daughter's an elite gymnast. Like, you know, we've we've looked at the gyms. I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:36

So maybe this isn't like a final goodbye. And I do want to say, like, for this platform, I think it's a goodbye for what we have done. But I want to leave everything where it is so people always have access to it. So I think it's like it's so crazy. Sometimes I'll still I'll look at the stats and see how many people have listened. And, you know, it's slowed down since we have slowed down, but there are still people, like new listeners coming and starting at episode one. And I think that that's incredible.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:09

Um And don't forget, we have had listeners from all over the world.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:14

That's pretty incredible. And that is you would think that most of our listeners would be local, and that is not the case at all. Most actually, that might not be that surprising.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:25

Yeah. Most are people we don't know. They were looking for something. They're not friends, they're not family.

Social Media Boundaries And Sharing Glimmers

SPEAKER_00 1:15:33

Like they're from other countries. Yeah. And we have had DMs from people from all over, and I just think that that's incredible because our reach has been it's it we have reached people at the right time. Yeah. And this platform has been a blessing for that. Um, it's also been a blessing in our journey. And there was something I was gonna say. Oh, so like to leave this platform, um, I am happy to go back to my normal personal life Instagram. And I have still been like coming on and off social media. It's still not, I don't like the vibe there, but what I have been doing, and this is like a positive way, a positive thing that I've been doing. At the end of every month, I post my favorite photos from that month. And I post them all, and then I get off. And I don't worry about the caption. I don't know if you've noticed this, but they literally are just like January glimmers, April showers. That's literally it. I'm like, there's no pressure. Like, I don't have to say what every photo is. These are just like glimmers of my life that brought me joy that month. And can we bring that back? Like just posting the things that make us happy because it's there's such an energetic positive vibration that comes from just sharing the joys in your life. And I don't, you know how some people are like, I feel guilty being happy because everyone else is not. I don't feel that way. And I don't think you should. I think we have worked way too fucking hard to get where we are, and now is our time to sit in it and enjoy it. Yeah, we don't have to constantly keep looking for the next journey, looking for the next guest, looking for the next modality. It was great when we needed it, and now we have got this toolbox and these connections and this community, and we've got each other, and we've got our partners, and we've got our family. And I just want to sit in my what is her name? Hestia. Hestia, the goddess, Hestia bubble, yeah, whatever she is. The we're in our Hestia era era, and you get to enjoy this phase of newborn parenting by the ocean in your favorite place?

SPEAKER_03 1:18:13

Are you fucking kidding me? I'm so excited. You know what I've like been dying to do that I don't think I'm gonna do? I so badly want to swim with dolphins pregnant because they like dolphins and whales, like why don't you do that?

SPEAKER_00 1:18:31

What do you mean you don't think you're gonna go?

SPEAKER_03 1:18:33

Because I'm not gonna try I don't I don't I'm not gonna travel.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:36

Oh yeah, you can't now.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:37

Yeah, they like I'm like too close. Yeah, they like instinctively like know that you're pregnant. So I've seen all of these videos where like dolphins will literally go up to pregnant women and like it's just like they just they know there's a baby in there. Um, but I'm I'm I'm so excited to like not have um everyone in Florida has told me like there's no such thing as having like going through the winter blues because I get like so sad during the winter. I'm like, there's no sun, I'm pale, this sucks. There's I can't swim. I'm so excited to like be able to swim and have my little island babies and and and just be in the water. And again, this I don't I don't know what's gonna happen, but you know, we may be marked back to Louisville, but man, what a damn good maternity leave that I'm gonna have.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:35

Oh my God. And I just like where you are mentally, like this is gonna be such a beautiful experience for you.

Personal Updates Human Design And Farewell

SPEAKER_03 1:19:42

Yeah. And I I think about too, where, you know, with Kai when he first came, I was so stressed. I didn't get any time off of work. And um I get to rewrite that and kind of be be more present with my kids and you know, kind of going back to what you said about like not like staying in like this, like you don't have to be miserable. It's okay, it's okay to like experience joy. Um yeah, like what a blessing it is that we get to experience joy and what like what a what a what a privilege and an honor it is that like really a lot of us are able to live good lives that are that I think about like my ancestors did not get to live. Again, I've had this conversation with one of my relatives where you know, again, I when I was so angry about like what was happening in the world, he's like, We literally have siblings and relatives who don't have running water or electricity, and you're gonna stay mad while you're like on your you know thousand dollar phone in your in your nice house and like you're just gonna complain. I was like, shit, yeah, nonetheless, that's that's fucking valid. Um, so yeah, I think find us on our personal social medias. I will be so honest, as a true projector, I go through like disappearances. Yes. And I love that. Like where I just like randomly disappear to just like have a break. So I will be doing that. Um, and I probably will do it periodically. I'm okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:29

I'm just I've noticed that pattern with you. I love it. When did that start last year? Like you came off and then you would pop back in and then you'd go off and then you'd pop back in. And yeah. I don't think I can completely deactivate my account the way that you do, but I love it for you.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:46

Yes, it's a projector thing. I literally saw that where we are you a projector if you like randomly like deactivate all of your social medias and then pop back on. I was like, oh my gosh, yeah. For sure. I totally am.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:00

Yeah. Okay. So on that note, yeah, follow us on Instagram on our regular pages if you want to. You don't have to. I'm just saying, like, but also I'm finally certified. Yeah. Yes. I have business cards and everything. And I have a little website.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:22

My finally.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:24

Finally, I think some of you have even messaged me asking when are you gonna be certified in human design? And let me tell you, I have been sitting on this certification for you don't even want to know how long because I have- It drives me crazy. I know it terrifies me. I told you why. I get it, but I told you why. But I was I finally made the push and I made a website, and you can book with me, and I will post the link in this show note, but I will also, it will also be in my bio because that's another thing too. I've always tried to keep this stuff separate, and I'm like, oh, I have to like not have to like make a human design Instagram page. I'm like, no, I fucking don't. I can do whatever the fuck I want because I am a manifester. Like, I'm gonna do it my way and I'll sprinkle it into my personal page if I want to, or I don't have to have one at all because I don't want to, I don't want to feel overwhelmed. I don't want to feel pressured. I don't want to feel like I have to show up if I don't want to. Yeah. So also, side note. Okay. Second baby girl is born. I am giving you date and time. Oh, 100%. Literally from the from the hospital. I better be the first text outside of your family.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:44

100%.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:44

7 29 a.m. I expect you to come to the hospital with a full graph. You're gonna have a 35-page printout of everything you need to know about how to raise this child because that has been so helpful in even us knowing our own children and knowing how everybody else operates and seeing my projector daughter and having you as a projector friend, and you having a manifestor son and having me as a manifestor. Like it's like, just let me help you through this.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:19

Just let him do it in the way that he wants to do it.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:22

Do it his way. He's not gonna want to do it your way. And that's that's a really hard lesson for projectors.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:28

Also, to have like a three-five daughter where you're like, okay, she's just gonna have to figure out stuff the hard way. Like, okay, just sit back, even though you know where this is gonna go. She's she's just gotta go through it. Yeah, yeah, she's gotta go through it with fucking up. Yeah, and that's okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:46

You have to sit back and watch her. And with Elle um being a projector, me asking you, like, how the fuck do I do this? Like, what do how do I parent this child? So that's been helpful. Yeah. So make her feel very seen. I think she's seen enough.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:02

No, I thought I think she is too. I think she's good. She's she is so seen. And not we do not have the same childhood, that's for sure. No.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:12

No. So um I just want to say thank you for being on this journey with me. I I don't know how we could have done this without each other in this. I don't know how we could have moved through these life transitions of like boss ass bitches. I don't want to say bitches. I don't like that word. Boss ass babes to still boss ass babes, but like, I'm the boss of my household babe. I don't know if that that works either, but whatever. Like, we have been each other's rocks through that transition, and it has been such a privilege and a blessing and an honor to like have someone to go through that with. And we've had such different lives, but so many similarities. And it's, I don't know. I love you for that.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:04

I love you too.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:05

And to all of our listeners, are we ready? Are we ready? Stay curious, be open. We'll see you guys on the other side.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:20

It's fine, I'm fine.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:23

Holy