ADHD, Grief, Chaos and MAGIC in Lu Land

All aboard 'Susie': the neon leopard print bus....ADHDAF Emporium are hitting the road with Lou Featherstone for her Self Love Unleashed Tour! One ‘little’ problem… GRIEF. Oh, and ADHD!

As explored in the episode in honour of my Mum,  grief exacerbates ADHD symptoms - one example; I can’t keep track of any of the dates and locations of the Lu in Lu Land Tour! BUT we will get there… and how do we get there? TOGETHER!  

This chaotic chinwag with three Neurodivergent Women is all about empowerment through connection, and it has a VERY happy ending! Team work truly does make the dream work. 

TRIGGER WARNING: Contains swearing and loud laughter, squeals of excitement, and mentions of grief and bereavement, financial struggles, depression. If you are struggling, lo siento. You are not alone. 
Please do reach out for help HERE

- ADHDAF Emporium will be at Lu's Self Love Unleashed Shows in DARTINGTON - DEVON, - BRISTOL and NORWICH
and her CAMP in Bedford.

- HERE are all of Lou's Events.

- Find out more about ADHDAF+ Charity's FREE Peer Support Groups and Volunteer or Donate HERE

- Shop ADHDAF Emporium HERE to support neurodivergent makers and small businesses, with 10% of profits donated to ADHDAF+ Charity

- Find out about The Big ADHD Fundraiser HERE

SO GRATEFUL to Lou and Steph for this wonderful conversation and for all of their support, and ENORMOUS THANKS to The ADHDAF Online Peer Support Community for keeping this podcast going for almost THREE YEARS!

If you would like to join this Patreon Community of ADHDAF Podcast listeners from all over the world, come and connect to lean on and learn from literally likeminded legends HERE
- Monthly Membership includes daily body doubling, a private Discord Community, Accountability Squads, Blogs, Vlogs, Behind the scenes, Exclusives, 10% off ADHDAF Emporium, Meet-ups and online events like quizzes and Self Care Club. NO DIAGNOSIS NECESSARY!

I hope to see you on Lu's incredible tour and/or online in the Peer Support Community!

CARPE THE DAMN DIEM!
Big LOVE
Laura x

@adhdafpodcast
@adhdafplus
@adhdafemporium

Transcript

 So this morning I've woken up and the grief has got me by the balls. I'm literally like heavy chest, really sad. Sat here, tried to figure out how to set up my microphone and everything, which I could have done yesterday. Obviously I could have done that. Didn't do it. Obviously, you could have done, we didn't do that.

Went down to the car, couldn't figure out how to lock, unlock the car. That was a whole thing. Came here, set it up. Now it doesn't work. And my brain keeps saying, just tell them you're gonna cancel it. Just cancel it today. And I was like, do you know what? If I can't show up authentically in my pajamas and likely cry with you and Steph, then I'm not doing my, then you're, I'm not doing my, yeah, this is, this is how it's gotta be.

This is the most A-D-H-D-F morning. What are we doing here? If not talking about the realities of living with this condition. Right. Oh, and that grief, that grief train comes from nowhere, honestly. And the thing is as well, it's because we're in the midst of moving. So my medication is like on off, on off.

Trying to sort that out. And I suddenly realized last night how much of an impact that has. So I was sat down last night totally fine, and then I was like, I'm really uncomfortable and I'm really itchy and agitated and not quite right. It's like meds didn't take my med yesterday 'cause I'm having to rush in them and it all impacts.

But also, I mean, it is a huge life transitions. It's huge. Yeah. It's a huge, it's risky. It's a big change. It's a, it's a lot. It's a lot, lot, lot, lot, lot. I tell you what I tell you what else is a lot is your hair. It looks fucking fabulous. I sat here with the amorous person ever and I just look like, um, Sonya for me, senders, I just need a trumpet right now.

That's it. You know, today's one of those mornings. I was like, I gotta just show up today. Oh, Steph's here. Hang on, hang on. Let Steph come in. Good morning. We were just talking about how ridiculous it is that I'm sat here in my pajamas and obviously stayed talking to the two most glamorous people that I know, looking lovely.

But here we go. We've already been talking about the chaos of the morning, but I want to just say one thing that has been on my mind. So much is that Louie Newland on her self-love revolution has been such a supporter of this space from such early days. You were my first interviewee when I was solo. Yes.

You were flying solo. Yeah. Terrifying experience. And you were so kind and backed me and gave me the time when I didn't know what I was doing at all. And then these last few weeks, you very kindly reached out and said that we can come and collaborate with you on some of the amazing things that you are doing.

And I just have to say it's, it's coming out for three years that I've been working in this space. I've met a lot of people, a lot of amazing people. I've also met some people that are absolutely full of shit. Mm-hmm. And you are absolutely for integrity to the core. You practice what you preach. You are about self-love.

You're about empowering people and just being like, we are all in this together. And together we rise, we we share our opportunities and share our spaces. Because we're on a similar page and we're all facing the same sort of way. And I just have to say how refreshing and amazing that is. So thank you very, very much.

Thank you. So blatantly obvious, the late discovery diagnosis and treatment at 38 for severe combined type A DHD in 2022, not only improved, but genuinely saved my life, which I have since dedicated to fighting for change amidst the global A DHD crisis. As the acronym suggests, I swear, like a sailor, and each episode will contain sensitive subject matter.

So please always read the description before diving in where you will also find a link to resources for support. These crucial conversations with experts by lived experience are shared to inform, validate, shame, eradicate, and unite the A DHD community. With a fair few laughs along the way, I've been labeled too much all my life, but finally, I celebrate my too muchness and use my justice sensitivity to let the world know that A DHD presents differently in each individual self-diagnosis is valid and that A DHD is not a trend.

A DHD is real. And I want all a adhd as of all genders to know you are not alone. The leopard is a symbol of Aberdeen, Scotland, where this podcast began. It also symbolizes bravery, the reclaiming of power, and I'm a total hun. So Leopard Printers become the uniform of the A-D-H-D-A-F community uniting to support each other and push for change, which together we can make Hack.

We are the Leopard Print Army. Hear us raw. Hi, I'm Laura and I am A-D-H-D-A.

So this is a lot of an episode. What we're gonna start with is Steph and I talking a little bit about the frigging wild safari we have been on for the last however long with the emporium. And then we have an absolutely amazing, ridiculous, very unexpectedly surprising conversation with Lou in Newland about some collaborative stuff, which is truly eyeopening, very empowering, and yeah, actually magical.

So for anybody that doesn't know, Steph is one of my childhood friends. We've been friends since we were 11, and she's the creator of all the discos. We have been collaborating well. Since dance routines in school playgrounds, to be honest. But we have been collaborating on this emporium concept before A-D-H-D-A-F was even a thing.

Yeah. Uh, we started the Emporium as we are both festival traders. Me with Hathor. I always say it with a little bit of a grimace because it's brought me so much shame over the years. This amazing thing that I made that. I didn't know why I couldn't keep up with, at least now we know why I struggled so much with posting online, sending products out to people and keeping up with social media is because of my unidentified and unmanaged A DHD.

But yeah, Hathor and all the discos have been collaborating for time and we started doing the emporium. Uh, we had one absolute massive one at, uh, secret Garden Party several years ago, and that was when I introduced the leopard print Sundays element, and then obviously with A-D-H-D-A-F and the idea being brought to A-D-H-D-F from Rebecca Cowley of working class to start doing some merch because people were asking for merch.

People wanted t-shirts, they wanted jumpers, they wanted mugs. And it didn't sit right with me to. Just go to some company that Mass produces them. As an independent maker, I wanted to support small businesses. Rebecca came with the jewelry. Yeah. You came and started making jewelry and accessories and it grew and grew and grew into an idea in which we wanted to create a marketplace for neurodivergent makers and small businesses, both online and in person.

The big one, of course, was our first Emporium 10 at Flag Stock Festival last year, which was marrying both sides of it. So we had, I was doing podcasty stuff, much like the live events. Of the three tours with different speakers like Abigail or Jay, educating us about intersectionality and, and Neurodivergence with Kim Peerpoint talking about intimacy and standup and load of karaoke thrown in and all sorts of different elements of everything.

While Steph was run ragged selling, uh, handmade festival accessories, and at one point I did do karaoke whilst selling. I.

So we did, we did what we do best, which is creating things, creating spaces, being at festivals and raising a DHD awareness all under one. Ruth, with 10% of our annual profits donated to the now finally established A-D-H-D-A-F plus charity. So it, it all marries together brilliantly. But all of these ideas of all things A-D-H-D-F spanning out in different directions, it takes work to start anything and sort of multiple things have been started all at once.

So it has been very challenging. So being the brains and the business, me being the ridiculousness and, and throwing more and more ridiculous ideas out. Where actually a lot of our ideas really didn't work for all the will in the world. There's no way we could have even kept up with what we absolutely were messaging.

You know, you are a mum of two, you have all the discos, you have another job as well. I'm doing all things A-D-H-D-A-F, and we are both neurodivergent to have created a kind of community within the seller's community to all of this stuff. We couldn't have actually done it, even if it had worked the way we wanted to.

It's a like learning curve. So every step of the way it's kind of like finding what we can we can do and where that fits in. And you know, we've had website issues and umpteen website issues. You had website issues for months and months and months and you just persevered and persevered and I'm like, either fuck it off or pay someone.

Let's just move on. And you're like, we will get there. Resilience to the call that the other thing that we came up against, all this buddy. Bullshit, which we're still not sure on. We don't know what's happening, where we can sell, what we can sell, selling abroad, all the rest of it. So we've had to like, keep ironing out, creases, turning corners and going, okay, what can we do?

Yeah, just strip it as far back as we can and then build it from there sort of thing. Which is probably a, is a sensible way to do things as well. It's, it's not as much as I think sometimes, you know, the our too muchness and things, we wanna just be big and bold and out there in everything. But actually I think that we've learned is just start it small and, and it'll grow.

So after a month of trying to get our first concept off the ground and it just, just not working, it would work. But A, it would cost a lot of money and b, it would not be, um. E as as simplified as we want it to be. We don't want a complicated, you having to fill out, if you wanna be part of the emporium with us loads of forms.

How onboarding form system in, in Argent community where we're dying for the forms as it is that we can't do. Doesn't work. Yeah. It just. It just wasn't very neuro diversion friendly, and that became quite obvious. So then it went, went back to the drawing board. So, um, now what we have is, um, is a lot more streamlined and is wor and is working.

If you have a small business and you would like to be part of A-D-H-D-F emporium, um, there's several ways to sort of cover about that. Um, you can, um, well message us, message us anyway, but we are, um, we have sale return, um, and we take care of all of the sending things out from, from our end, um, or we have, um, wholesale as well.

So we are looking for things that meet a need within the neurodivergent community. If you're neurodivergent yourself, can I, can I actually highlight one of the things? So e even though I know this myself, having worked. Really closely with community members for years now, one of the very obvious things that passed me by is that not everybody is open or comfortable being open about their neurodivergence.

So in my head I'm like, right, we're gonna take this designer and we're gonna say, this is what I've got. This is how it impacts me. These are my struggles, these are my hacks, blah, blah, blah. And actually completely forgetting that not every neurodivergent maker actually wants to share that information publicly, you know, completely missing the mark there.

As I often do, the penny drops late. So most of our creatives are neurodivergent. But not all of them are open about their neurodivergence, and that is totally fair enough. So just because we're not necessarily saying this person has a DHD or, or D-H-D-O-C-D, whatever, it doesn't necessarily mean that they're, that they're not.

But at the same time, not all of our makers are, but they are a small business and they're creating a product that we feel meets a need from our perspective. But also they are very kindly getting on board with us because 10% of our profits at the end of the year. Go to supporting the charity. So I think we could probably be all day to here talking about it, but we've also got an amazing conversation with Lou to add in.

So I think I just really wanna say, you know, as anybody who has listened to me go on and on about the many failings of the however many, 10, 15 years of Hathor, however long it's been, 15 years, something like that, is that, you know, I find it incredibly hard. The thing is, I know full well how hard times are the cuts to pip, everything that's going on, the amount of people that are struggling are never ending, waiting lists on desperate need of help, many of whom cannot work because of the symptoms that they are up against, that they cannot get support for, or the, the impact that that has had on their mental health and wellbeing that they are literally unable to work.

I know how much people are struggling. And that makes it even harder for me to try and sell to a community of which I know a lot of people are struggling financially. So we are not here saying, buy this, buy that, have this shiny thing, have this, whatever. What we are here saying is that when you need to buy somebody, a present, when you need to buy a birthday cart, or there's a self-care product that you think would be perfect for them, we've got stuff like this amazing dry shampoo that smells amazing, but it's actually good for sensitive skin and it's, um, economically, economically, what's the word I'm looking for?

Environmentally, environmentally sounds like, oh my God, I know a person who would love this when it's their birthday, I'm gonna buy it for them. You know, when you need to buy gifts for yourself or somebody else, come to us. Because in shopping with us, not only are you supporting either the creations of neurodivergent makers, even if they're one of our makers that isn't neurodivergent, we, Steph and I are a neurodivergent business.

So not only are you shopping neurodivergent, but in turn 10% of any profit directly go to A DHD AF plus charity. So, although we are separate entities, A-D-H-D-F Emporium and A-D-H-D-F podcast promote and fundraise for the charity because the charity is out there in local areas just starting, really just starting with these support groups.

But in turn, it will grow and grow and grow. So that's. All that we are saying, we know that times are tough. They're tough for us as well, and they're tough for our makers. So really everybody is struggling. So when you need to buy a gift or a card, or you want to treat yourself or someone else to a piece of jewelry, or you're going to a festival and you wanna buy a big sparkly cape again, you know that that's gonna be handmade by somebody who is neurodivergent out of recycled party decorations, which is good for the environment.

And then 10% at the end of it all, is gonna be directly supporting neurodivergent people in need of peer support. Because Lord knows with the press, with the pit bullshit, with the waiting list. We need peer support, people need each other. That's literally all we've got out there. So it's really tough out there for small businesses anyway at the moment.

And one of the main reasons a lot of people start up small businesses to support their families and be at home. And a lot of those parents are parents to neurodivergent children as well. And they're having to be at home in order to meet those needs as well. But they also have bills to pay too. And then in turn, that creates products that meet a need within the community as well.

Yeah. If, if and when you need to buy something, you know where we are and you could really help us by giving us a follow at A-D-H-D-A-F Emporium, follow us, come along to any events that we are at, we would love to see you and just know that yeah, it's, it is taken us a long old while to get here. It doesn't look exactly how we wanted it to look, but it's not for lack of trying and we are just keep on getting back up and doing our best.

Because we believe in what we're doing, blew in Newland on her self-love revolution. We're on a similar page and we're all facing the same sort of way. And I just have to say how refreshing and amazing that is. So thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. I've had bad experiences. One minute I'm having lunch with someone or the next there they're launching something I talked about and it's like, what's happening here?

I don't understand. And you know, we're just better together. It's lonely by yourself, especially in the creative space. Was talking to a friend yesterday, 'cause I've never been so broke hard in the moment. Sort of like trying to sell tickets to events. I'm like. I just bitten off more than I can chew. Yes.

I'm like, I just stay tr, just gotta stay true to what I believe in and like I've promised myself, I'd give 2025 and Lou and L Land one last shot, trying to make a living out of what I'm doing. It doesn't feel that hard to want to empower women. It feels like it's needed more than ever. I know what I do has a huge impact.

Yes. You know. But also the world's really hard. You know, it's really tough. People are struggling, you know, everyone's scared. Tariff this and tariff that. You know, you know, everything that's happening around the world has a ricochet on us emotionally, vibrationally, universally, and collectively. There's just a lot of anxiety round right now.

So it's just, it's hard to function honestly. It really, really is. Which for me means right, we gotta gather together and fight this shit, you know, bring the joy hard. Exactly. Exactly. That's exactly it. Because I think in such difficult times, you know, this individualism and individualistic mindset kicks in as kind of a, a form of, um, protection.

Well, self protection. Mm-hmm. Right? So we're like, oh gosh, you know, you sort of hold in like that when actually, well, we only have to look at the bog roll situation in the pandemic to know that that's true. Yeah. But like, actually. Those are the very times where we have to be outward and open and collective, because that's really, at the end of the day, each other is all we've got.

Not wanting to sound like Jerry Springer, but it's true. It's, it's true. Everything else is uncertain. Mm-hmm. Isn't it? Oh God, absolutely. So we are very happy to be collaborating with you. We're very lucky to have you. Everything that you're doing is absolutely, absolutely amazing. Before Steph came on, we were talking about how it's been a really difficult morning for me, and it is so annoying because everything's geared up to today.

The sun is shining, getting to speak to you two, it is been planned for rages. I've got a lovely day ahead. I'm gonna go out late with my friends. There is no reason why today is hard, but it really is and it's so frustrating. And I saw the other day when it was Mother's Day, I was on my phone for a little bit and then I hid.

I hid for the rest of the day. I was like, I don't wanna see it. That it was a really difficult day for you. So I'm really sorry. It was your first one. You've got the first of all the anniversaries. That's the worst. Exactly. It's the worst year just doing the first of everything. The birthdays, the anniversary is the Mother's Day, the Christmas birthday star.

Yeah. La, la, la la. And I love, I would love to be able to sit here and tell you it's gonna get better, if I'm honest. I wish someone had told me. It's not necessarily. Yeah. Oh my God. Oh my God. But I, I have just been, I have spent the last three months trying to get sponsors for the tour. I'm sorry, we're talking about grief and I've just had a message pop up saying I've gone fucking, oh my God.

That is news. Oh my God. Oh my God. Sorry. No, don't be sorry. This is the best news, Lynn. That's amazing. See, this is what happens. This is what happens when you, you stick to, oh my God. I'm sorry, I'm actually speaking. No, take a minute. Take a minute. Do you wanna, do you wanna run outside? Do you wanna tell somebody we can come back?

No, I'm telling you, oh my God, I, going back to grief, I have been try the last two weeks. I, I've done the worst thing ever and I've kind of given up hope. Um, and it, I've just had to be p I've been practicing, I've been grieving, giving up my dream of taking this fucking bus out and thinking, well, I'll go and do the tour, but I'm not gonna be able to take the bus 'cause I can't afford it.

And, you know, maybe I'm. Maybe I'm just crazy thinking that people want this and I've been having such bad imposter syndrome, and then I'm like, no. Look at the messages you get from people. Yes. When they come. Yes. And my motto has always been one woman at a time, but then I can't operate like that. It doesn't pay the bills.

Look at me. I'm squatting in my boyfriend's loft. Homeless. Trying to make things work. Yeah. Um, and I've been just, I've been practic, I've been grieving my dream, if you like. Yeah. And then I speak to you, and then that's what happened. Doing it. Perfect timing. Sorry. Oh my God, girl.

Right. Stop. Tell me what this means. What does this actually mean now it means you can do it in the bus. Explain to us what's happening. This has just happened now. It's absolutely such a coincidence. So the whole, the whole, the whole idea. And you, and, and you will resonate this with this entirely. The whole idea of buying the bus was when I started to really share my journey online about getting older, about the menopause, leaving my husband, all of those things.

I started to really share it. It wasn't just pretty pictures of my salad, yes, and my coffees anymore, but like really like turning up to crying my eyes out or you know, I feel amazing. That's when women really started coming to the door and I was still living in America and well, we were in lockdown and then as we came out of lockdown, um, I was like, what am I gonna do next?

My son was graduating from high school and I was like, what's next for me? And, and what I really wanted to do was go meet all these women. 'cause when you share, you will know this. Both of you, when you share your shit online, people share back. And so many women would open up to me. Was the running theme from women was just, I feel lonely, I feel invisible.

I feel like I'm on my own. I feel lost. And I was like, I just, I'm fun online, but I'm much more fun in real life. My, you know, she says blowing her own trumpet, um, Sonya here. So,

and I just feel like that's where, that's what I want to do. I want to go meet people and I wanna help them connect. 'cause that's what I do. I connect people. Yes. 'cause that's where I find my joy and my power, and that's what I want to do. And so then as I was thinking this, I saw this old bus by the side of the road.

I bought this fucking bus. I crowd from this bus boozy named after mom. And, um, drove round bloody America using the bus as this. Sort of connection connector with people. Yeah. Um, and the whole point of doing the bus up, all leopard print was, you know, we find our people with the leopard print. Yes, exactly.

The, we find our, you know, it will attract the people who it needs to attract. They're gonna find me. And so that was the idea of the bus. And then I did this damn tour and the bus was so powerful. And not just the events that I threw to connect people, I threw events everywhere to try and connect people and build a little communities everywhere.

Yes. I went, it was so powerful. Not least not just the events, but also the women in need who came knocking at the door of the bus. Yes. So when I got back, when I finished in New York, I was like, I'm taking the bus with me. So. Brought the bus back to the uk, cost me half my divorce settlement and is half, and that is really half the reason I'm in the shit that my financial shit I'm in is bringing the bus back, putting her in storage, you know, all of those things.

And then it took me nearly a year to get her registered legally. 'cause the DVLA were like, wanted paperwork I couldn't get hold of 'cause she's so old. Yes. Yeah. Then finally at the end of last summer, she was road legal and um, yeah. And um, oh my God. And so then this year, and then the last sort of like two years I've been trying to get her road legal, trying to figure out it's taken ages, um, to settle back into being in the uk.

So circling back to grief, um, I think Mama had died while I was in the States. And, uh, when I came home and I felt like I'd grieved her and then when I came home I realized she actually really was dead. 'cause I think I'd managed to convince myself so badly that she was somehow still alive. Yeah. And I think, 'cause I keep her memory very alive with the buses named after her.

You know, when I was on the bus, I talked to her all the time when she died in the middle of me buying the bus and, um. I wanted to call her Shirley Valentine. I don't know if you are old enough to remember Shirley Valentine. Yes. I was actually talking about Shirley Valentine the other day. I was telling big about it.

How funny. A middle-aged woman, woman who ran off of married a Greek well, ran off with Greek waiter. Well, I, I just knew the, none of the Americans would know who Shirley Valentine was. Yes. And I spent the whole tour having to explain her. So, yeah. And everyone went, you've gotta call her Sue after your mom.

And I was like, that's gonna make me sad. Like, I don't want do that. But everyone was like, you gotta do it, you gotta do that. So I was like, fine. Actually ended up being the best thing ever. 'cause I got to talk about her. 'cause people are like, what's her name? Yeah. And I'm like, ly after my mom, I get to talk about mom all the time.

And she was such a badass and such an inspiration. And then when I was really low in the bus or broken down, or rarely scared, you know, for a lot of her, a lot of the trip she was overheating. And I'm scared to death I was gonna break down in the middle of the Nevada desert. My gosh. And I'm like, come Susie, come on.

Susie. Susie, Susie has had so many amazing conversations with mom in the bus. And then when I got home, it was almost like she was double dead. I said to my dad one day, it's like, mom's double dead. And my, my dad looked absolutely stricken and I'm like, I'm so sorry, but like now I'm home. I've got a griever all over again.

And then I was, I think I underestimated the grief from my life and we're giving up my, you know, leaving my marriage, leaving my son behind, leaving an amazing, beautiful, fancy life with fancy, you know, fancy friends with fancy houses and all this fancy lifestyle that I had. Letting all that go. And it's not that I, you know, letting all that go has been a real process.

Um, and I started, were the two, sorry, were the two linked as in the, the, the grief of your mother. Led you to to that in some way or I think so that they happened at a similar time. And so then you had all of this grief at once. I think it was just all of it at once and kind of understanding. Yeah. You know, understanding what grief is in that process.

And going back to what I was saying about, I'd love to tell you it's gonna get better. It, it, it does get better in, in a way, but you shape shift around the grief. The grief never goes. Yeah. Right. And I think I, no one told me that and I, so I kept expecting to feel better. Um, and you do have days where you are absolutely fine and then there's days like this morning where it kicks the shit out of you for, but what appears to be no reason.

And then 'cause the sun's shining and you've got a nice day planned. You're like, am I fucking mad? You know, I should be able to pull myself together. It makes you feel worse somehow. Um, but I feel like I'm being squeezed around the throat. I just woke up like, ugh. Yeah, it's awful. Yeah. And I, you know, I have, I think 'cause the last two years have been so hard, I've wanted my mom more than ever 'cause she was really wise.

Yeah. And, you know, always had the right kind answer, you know, about how to deal with things. Um, you know, and, and never. She was always very honest. It's not like she pulled any punches, but she was just a very good woman. She was a good human being. She worked with, you know, prisoners, very serious category, A prisoners in, um, you know, had a huge, um, huge, huge capacity for forgiveness and taught me so many things, uh, and was a very good Christian, like a really good Christian.

Uh, but real like a, like a good Christian, not an idiot Christian, but a Christian that was a Christian that lived her faith, you know? Yes. Yeah. And taught me so, I mean, I'm such a mix of my mom and my dad. Someone said the other day, 'cause my dad was a Vick, in case you don't know, but someone said the other day, you've so turned into your dad like preaching.

You preach self love. Yes. And someone went, you are the ma you are the minister of masturbation. I was like,

I might, I might just, anyway. This last two years with the grief and with all the huge changes and the transitions. I got my and my A DHD coming to terms with that. Yeah. And the impact that that has had on my life. I think I've been grieving in amongst all of the griefs, the multiple griefs I've been going through grieving, not realizing that what, who I am or part of this part of me.

Um, yeah. Meanwhile, kind of my life falling into place. Like everybody talks about it all suddenly making sense. You were just a huge switch for me coming to bloody A DH adhd. Bingo. That's a magical bingle that bingo, I tell you, bingo will get you. And, and accepting that. But while still having to fight all the men in my life who still just think it's hilarious and a, and a funny excuse for things, but I'm like, no.

All right. Whatever. I don't care what you think. I'm, yeah. Almost grieving that, but also still having now understanding my impulsive tendencies a bit more and wishing that maybe. Not wishing 'cause you can't, I don't do that. But like how different life could have been maybe? Yes. Could it have been different?

I don't know. Uh, it's sliding doors effect isn't it? Can, I mean, it might not have been Exactly. Got myself in a financial pickle again for the millionth time because I have absolutely no impulse control whatsoever. And I also love that about me. Um, well it's a blessing and a curse, right? Yeah. It opens a lot of doors, but it also starts a lot of fires.

And, um, but here I am sitting in this loft just holding tight to the fact that I believe in what I'm doing and I want to empower women and I want to do this fucking tour with the bus. And so the last two weeks I've been like, okay, maybe, and I've been trying to find a sponsor, a, a brand. How hard can it be to find a brand that wants to, how hard?

I don't even understand how any of that works. Tap into my, you know, come with me. And I know it's not as difficult for a brand. They don't have a lot of money. I'm like, yeah, I don't wanna make, I don't wanna just make Instagram ads for you. I want a brand that wants to come with me on this journey. Yes.

Calm, build community with me. The thing I want to do is, is connect women to each other. So throw these events everywhere I go, bring women together so they can meet each other. So I'm like, maybe I've just been really ambitious. Maybe it's a stupid idea and I, but I know when women come that it has an impact on them.

You know, I have women leaving my events and my talks going, God, I wanna go and kick the doors off. Or, you know, I'm off the table. The Sha Twain effect, you know, I had a message the other day going, you know what I did this morning? I woke up and I looked in the mirror and I told myself something that I value in myself and before I came home to heard you talk.

I couldn't do that. No. And I. I don't know how to tell. I don't know. Abr I, for me, a brand would, should be, should want to kill to make their customers feel like that. Right? No. So I'm like, but I need them. But no one wants to, no one wants to invest in middle aged women. Nobody wants to actually spend money on that age range, you know, with brands don't have these marketing budgets like they do.

And it's a wild idea. Yeah. To come on this journey. I'm like, look, I understand I'm throwing all these events and I'm appearing at events. You are now coming with me also. Anyway, so I've been trying and trying and trying and trying and banging on doors and trying to sell my shit. And while I'm talking to you, a little message just came up going, they're in.

That's incredible. Yeah. So I can get Susie out of the garage, get her fixed, get her on the road and we can do this full on. 'cause I was like, I've been mourning the bus. I was like, I still do the tour. I can drive. I've got a little bus called run around suit. I've got a little van called Run around suit.

Yeah. Or Lazy. Susan. Sometimes I call, sometimes I call a cre Suzette. Um, well it's funny because my mom's middle name was Suzette. Isn't that weird? She come to say hello. That's, I'm gonna say hello because we were talking about, oh, alright, now who's crap? Suzette. And um, and I was like, yes, but it's not gonna be half as far like, I want the bus.

Yeah. You know, and I ironically, you know, the, you know, I've got loads of festivals want me to go and run self-love? Development self love areas in the festival. And I'm like, I mean, I can do it with a gazebo, but I want the bus. 'cause the bus is so bus inspiring. It's the bus. Hundred percent. It's the story.

It's the, it's the, yeah, it's the heart of it and it's core. Honestly, Lou, so happy for you. So deserved. Like and just, you know that, that magic, it's like all of the love that you put in that's pouring back out and you, and you're getting to do it. You know how hard it's, oh my god. So hard. Daily. Jess is so fucking hard.

And I gave up hope. I'm the queen of fucking re I mean I am resilient as fucking fuck. But even I was. Steve, I was like, maybe just nobody wants it. Like maybe that's just, you know, maybe the universe is just, you know, and I'll never, do you remember, do you remember the other day we were talking the other day and I said to you, I was just like, you know, whatever, it was the portal.

I was like, there's a new life on the other side of this. I promise you it's about to come. It's about to come. And it has, it has Why when we talking because you're coming with me and that's the hard one conversation. So it's all beautifully segued isn't it Part of that conversation as well, it was like it happened at the perfect moment if that conversation to happen, if there's ever a sign that you're on the right path.

Do you know there's just so, so much that I resonate in what, what you said, and I, I think I will have to call you the minister of masturbation forever more, but forever more. I think it's really interesting because I became aware the other day because I'm always a couple of steps behind, um, is. Hang on, hang on, hang on.

I would, I would actually say you're a couple of steps ahead, um, of most people, but carry on. Um, so I realized with the charity, the support groups that I'm rolling out, I realized the influence that my parents' work has had on my work and obvi. I've spoken before about mom, how she, she helped, well, predominantly kids with a DHD, let's be honest.

But what hadn't really factored in was that my dad has been in aa. All of my life, right? So we know that, um, alcohol issues can be a commonly co-occurring part of having a DHD. And he is the most a DH ADHD man alive, but he spent all of his life in, well, they call it the fellowship, don't they? Right. So my dad has been sponsor for like a squillion people over these years, going to these meetings, right?

And I suddenly just sat there was like, oh my God. This is exactly, I mean, obviously it's not aa, but the idea of community and bringing people together, I'd factored in that I'd lived on little islands, I'd factored in my mom's part, and then I was like, hang on a minute, A minute. What are these, if not meetings, like that's what we're doing.

It's mental because you need to be with your people and that do, and that is where the power is when you're gathered together with common purpose, whether it's aa, it could be your sports group, your gym class, your number class, your girls weekend. You know, even the staff Christmas party, I dunno, when you are in that moment together Yes.

That there's a magic in that, that experience, that feeling, especially after Covid. I mean, COVID was all of the things right. But I think that. Being separated from people and real life. Oh, you know, there was, there was a good bit of it, but also I think, you know, for me that was like, oh my God. You know, and you need people who get you in, in that silent level because I think so much of our life is spent online and there are a lot of people who are more introverted and who feel more comfortable behind a screen to connect with people.

But then there are people that really need people. And I, I know I'm definitely one of those people. Like, I could send an email or a, or in a WhatsApp group, I mean, I hate WhatsApp groups that, you know, you can't feel, I can't feel the meaning or my awful R rs d to rejection sensitive rabbit hole of spiraling as to a million things.

The one sentence could mean, but I could sit in a room next to somebody and I can feel it. I can look in somebody's eyes and be like, I know that we are connected on this level. Magical stuff. It's not funny because I, I, I only recently understood that, um, you know, I used to think I was so perceptive. I was like, and nobody understands how fucking perceptive I am and how I can read a room.

And I've just actually realized that's part of a DD. Yeah. Like, oh, I'm not that special After all, I, like, I was like, I always thought I'm gonna make a great detective 'cause I'm all over everything. I pick up so many vibes. I tell you what, who is queen? Detective is Stephanie. She has detective skills like nobody on earth.

Oh my God. Gimme a topic. I'll deep dive it for hours. Just like, uh, anything. Everything. She cracks every case. It's every, every eventuality. Stephanie's got it covered. Yeah. Laura, mention something to me and I'll be like, I'm on it. And then you'll cut the little emoji and then an later I'll come back with receipt.

I'm on it. I've got, I've discovered this. Have you got an actual magnifying glass? I've got, I'm get You need one. I've got a map need. I have my inner Angela Lansbury because I'm Angela Lansbury biggest fan. Like I, I'm looking at two pictures of her at the moment, either side of me. So I just channel my inner Jessica Fletcher and Yeah.

That's bad music. That's amazing. And to be honest, the, the, the theme tune for, uh, murder she Wrote is one of the most joyous pieces of music ever. Really, to be honest. I be seriously, I um, it's funny. Can we just, old child sings it. That's, I know. My child Done. Is that your song at karaoke, Steph? The theme tune.

That boy being a friend. Oh my God. I actually, I just realized I look a little bit like Blanche with my flicks like this. Oh, I love it. I've, it's quite gone. That's my card called Blanche. I called my car Blanche. Ah, can we, can we discuss WhatsApp scoop? They are not designed for people with a DHD. No, they're literally, so I can't handle it.

I'm like, everything's on mute. I just, I'm, I know, I'm sure. I, I leave every single one. I get added to them for things and then I'll just leave because I know I can't handle it. We've got, I hate leaving. Tell everybody you've left. I always feel really badly. I, I, I'm the et cat of the group and it's interesting going, talking about that for the last year.

I've got a finance coach bless her. She's like, let me help you with my money. Your money. We, we haven't got beyond my relationship with finance and self-worth that we haven't even got onto actually any kind of budget form budgeting. 'cause I am like. Completely, um, entrenched. We are still, we are still stuck on my relationship with money and my spending anyway.

Um, she's been, I was saying to her, look, I just need a part-time job to supplement everything else I'm doing. And she's like, well, what Please, would you just set up your online community, you know, and do your subscription? Mm. People would love that. It's an extension of the community. Yes. You know, it could be, you know, it could be.

And where your core followers can connect to each other as well. Can connect feedback. Yeah. And I'm like, okay. She has been. Battering me for the last year trying to get me to do it. And I've been so resistant to doing it. And so now it was the last three weeks she's been like, what is your resistance to doing it?

And I'm like, I don't know. And I think it's the same as the WhatsApp group. I think it's because, yeah, always help. I dunno if I want to belong to an online community, like for I, I always work on it. Would I like it? Then everyone else will like it. But for me, I'm like, I don't know if that feels, I don't know.

It doesn't feel, do you know? Yeah. Do you know what I would say is that I, I would, I would encourage you to do it because it is such a special thing and the connections that have been made through my Patreon community and the discord. Is really life changing, like there is actually a community there.

However, I do not like sitting at the top of that community. I don't feel like a leader. I don't feel like I have any, of course I have interesting stuff to say. That's why I've got a podcast. That's why we're all here. But I mean, on the daily, you know, like we've got a glimmers channel today, I shared that me and Big went to Ikea and I had meatballs.

Like it's not, you know, who gives a shit? Yeah, I know. But, but the point is that it, it does carry a lot of RSD because there are online interactions. And I'll tell you what, this is a brilliant, terrible most A DHD thing within the community. So it's been up for, I guess it's two and a half years, something like that.

And, um, I sometimes find it really, really difficult if I've written a blog. And I put a blog out and I only get like two or three likes or comments. I'm like, oh, nobody read it, or, that was a bit of a waste of time. Or, you know, that RSD, it was shit, what I write, it's rubbish. Nobody cares. Nobody cares. I only found out like literally a few weeks ago that, that those blogs go direct to inbox.

So people are actually reading them. They're just not going on the app to interact with it. They like it. Like, what the fuck? It took me that long. So that's like two and a half years of thinking. Nobody wants to read anything, but I should just write it anyway. And I don't know. And it's like, it's hard on the daily.

It's hard because, yeah. The thing that I think is most difficult, and again I want to preface this 'cause if this does go in the episode, I don't want to give anybody RSD is when people leave, it notifies you. Oh. And it's fucking brutal. And I've written multiple emails, two Paton to say, I'm gonna have to leave this platform.

'cause I can't wake up in the morning. And the first thing that I see is somebody's left. Left, and they might have left nine times outta 10 is because they can't afford it anymore. Fair enough. Yeah. Or they, you know, they've, they've reached their budget limit and they wanna follow another creator. Fair enough.

Absolutely. Fair enough. But why do I need to know that?

Ous. I've built, I've built the online com co I committed this week and I've launched it and I've got four or five people in there so I can just have a people around. I've done it. Um, I've done it. So I'm, I'm That's great. Well done. Just having a practice. 'cause it was really hard to sort of like see what it's gonna look like.

But when you're on your own in there, I'm like, I need someone in there chitchatting so I can at least see how it, how it all works. Works. Yeah. I've done it. I've done it. I've done it. And I think it'll be fun on the road. Oh my God, we're going the ride. It'll be so fun on the road, Lou, it'll be so fun on the road.

Yeah. It'll be so fun on the road. What of the behind the scenes stuff you can be like, I'm here. I'm there. And honestly, it is brilliant. I love it so, so much. But it is tough and that's why it's so good that we have each other in this space because we can actually understand what that feels like. Is it it It is a lot.

But it's so worthwhile. So well done for doing it. Thank you. So your shows, oh my God, we are literally gonna be on the bus. We are going to be on the bus. We are going, going on. I can't even begin to tell you the things I've got going on. I, what I've done is I've built, I built a tour around basically other people's events, but also my own.

So the idea is, um, for my own things, which is do, so far, there's Dartington, Bristol, and Norridge. These are my three sort of lu lu land weekenders. Think of me as a traveling circus. I roll into town, I roll into town, and on the Friday night I do my one woman show. It's a bit, it's an extension of my Ted Talk.

I take people on my journey in the hopes of inspiring their journey to liberation. And I also get them to, um, I do my top 10 tips for self-love, and I get everybody to write their own permission slips. I do a bit of a workshop and get everybody just to kind of really think about what they give themselves permission to do if they could do something without shame or judgment.

So I. It's pretty empowering. Even if I say, say myself, I call it part com, part comedy, part tragedy, mostly empowering. Um, and I know it's a bit different, so it's quite hard trying to sell tickets to, to something new. It's not like a full on comedy show, although I have to say it is quite funny. It's not full on comedy.

It's kind of an empowering comic. I don't know. Work shoppy, I don't know. It's like so many things, honestly. You try selling bingo seminars, that's hard too. It's tricky when you're doing something new, you know? And then on the Saturday night I'm doing a close swap. Um, and then on the, on the Sunday I do a hike squad.

I'm selling separate tickets. So if, but if you, if you buy the show and you buy this close swap, you get the hike for free. 'cause different things appeal to different people. My dream is, my, my vision is you come to the show and love that so much and feel empowered. You'll come to the close swap. Yeah. And then you'll want to come hiking.

So, but I figured if people can afford it, all of it, they could do one or the other. And I don't know. I know it might be a bit ambitious trying to throw three of it. It's like. Having, I've got so many events with tickets for sale at this point. I mean, for a woman who never had a birthday party, 'cause she was scared that somebody wouldn't come.

I am literally like, what the fucking hell was I thinking? Honestly, I, I completely relate it because doing the live shows is the greatest joy of my life. And so every time I would forget how hard it is when the tickets go on sale. And then this last tour alienation, I was like, it'll be fine. It'll be fine.

And went up for it. The tour's great. Da da da minute. I pressed upload on those tickets. I didn't breathe until the tour was over. It is horrendous. It's awful. I wake up in the night because that's the thing, right? Times are hard. Times are hard for everybody. Times are. And I want it to be accessible for everybody.

Yeah. But I also have to make a living. So it's, it's, it's tricky. It's very, I had a lot of, um, the clothes swap, for example, you know, somebody said that, you know, 25 quids a lot for a clothes swap. I'm like, you will go home with a black sack full of new clothes. Like, I promise you, it's like you will never get that many clothes for 25 quid, plus you get two free cocktails.

Like, it's a really cheap, it's out. It's a really, yeah. Yeah. It's so, and it's so, but more, it's such an amazing experience. The clothes swap is so incredibly fun. It just encourages women to be brave and like try new things. Yes. Because the, 'cause you've paid 25 qui ticket, but then when you come, all the clothes are free and you know, and you've got this pick of all these clothes, you can take as many as you like, you know, it's super fun.

But because it's sort of free. And you've got a room full of women going, fuck yeah, you look great. You know? Yes, you can get away of that. Yes, you can do that. And so it's so free because it gives you a chance. And yeah, and I think also seeing other people looking at things, it's like, oh, well if they can wear that, I can wear that.

Like, why not? Yeah. And like, you know, 'cause you haven't, you know, I would never spend 60 quid on this, but I'll try it 'cause it's free. And you're like, oh actually it looks great. And so it's really, really, really magic. Like Lou and Loland was born out of what I call close. What magic of people going, oh look at that.

I look brilliant in this. I would never have tried this. That was, that was like the root of everything I do. It was like, try and try something new. I love that. See how it feels. It will lead on to other things. So, but trying to convince people to come to clothes swaps is always quite tricky. 'cause women get in their own way at the best of times.

And then they're like, no one wants my leftover, no one wants my unwanted clothes. Will anybody be my size? Who's gonna be there? Yes. Like, what am I gonna get from a 25 quid? I haven't got time to clear out my wardrobe, blah, blah, blah. There's always reasons not to come. So I don't know. I hope people will come 'cause it's such a fun experience.

I'm sure they will. And especially, it is such a good idea for all of us that have perhaps done it well. Exactly. And us that have done impulse buys and potentially haven't sent it back in time. There's a lot of that going on in my community, myself included. The amount, I would say out of, you know, often there's, I would say upwards of a thousand.

Items that are closed, swap that we swap. I would say a third. Have the label still on them. Yeah. Have the tags still there in them? Yeah. Wow. Just that we've ordered. Drunk, impulsive, um, yeah, we've lost, you know, we've ordered the wrong size. We don't like it. Lost the thing. We've forgotten to send it back.

We haven't had time, you know, didn't go to the thing. We bought it for. It is what? It is wild. It's wild. But you know, everybody always, I've never known, when people come with really different mentalities, some come and grab as much as they can. Some people just see one thing and that's all they want, and they, you know, they just need to hone in on that.

So we are gonna be at. Bristol. Anybody in Bristol who listens to this knows that I always say West is best. I love Bristol's heart love. Well, I'll be at Dartington Darton then Steph and I will both be at Norwich and we will be there on the Friday night shows with the Emporium. Yeah. Stephanie, talk about our all of dreams.

Tell the people what we're doing. So we're just gonna have all of our fabulous, um, makers and our jewelry and accessories all made by new divergent small businesses and makers. We've got some beautiful, we've just launched loads of beautiful beauty products. I'm probably gonna bring some of them as well.

So it's a dopamine fest of dopamine of brilliant. And on top of all of that, not only are you supporting neurodivergent makers and small businesses, we are a neurodivergent business ourselves, Steph and I, but 10% of all of our profits at the end of the year go to A-D-H-D-A-F plus charities. So it kind of works across the board because you're not only buying products from.

Well double neurodivergent businesses. You are also then literally funding the community support groups of the charity. So when we're at these events, yeah, when we're at these events, we, we have some information about the charity so that anybody who is there, you might like to start your own A-D-H-D-A-F plus support group.

We've started in, we've had Aberdeen and Edinburgh, so they will be monthly groups in each place once a month with a view to potentially. Expanding to more things, workshops, et cetera, down the line. But to begin with, it's one a month as peer support groups by volunteer facilitators local to the area. And by next month we will also have London, Manchester, and Birmingham.

Amazing. Amazing. In the process of sorting out Cardiff. So it really is, we are a charity in Scotland, England, and Wales, so it can go far and wide. So I'm really, really grateful for the opportunity to be able to tell people about that at your events as well. So be information there. If people want to start one, that would be amazing.

It's very exciting. I mean, we, yeah, we, we, you know, you attract your people, right? And that's, that's, that's what we shall do. Um, and the other bigger festivals, you've gotta come to those as well. You're gonna come to some of those. I know. Do you know this is the thing. So it is always really, really tricky.

So Steph, Steph's a mum of two. I don't drive. Oh, because I'm too dyspraxic. So we've got a couple of logistics to iron out. So it's never easy. But come with me. As you pointed out, Lou, we are nothing if not resilient, right? We're resilient. But come with me. Come with me. Thank you. You weirder. Come with me.

Yeah. So what we're gonna do is, so I'm literally moving into this flat 1st of May, and then I think with my feet on the ground a bit more is when we can look at it more. I definitely, definitely couldn't. Wild horses can keep me away from your camp. Yes. Um, and anything else in between that we can make work, we would love to make work.

Well, my camp, my camp is in Bedford and you must come here. Yeah, my camp's in Bedford. You must come and do, um, you must come and run a workshop or something for that and then have the, and then have the stall and then just come. When's that one? That one's in August. Oh, I'm getting confused. Why did I think it was in Wales?

No, there's another one in Wales. The retreat? Yeah, that's the camp vc. That's the biker gangs. Oh my God, that's brilliant. I'm so excited for that, that that bunch of. Women and non-binary folk are the bad asses. Badass, badass, baddest baddies that I have ever. And that is a title and a half that even that even rifles a minister of masturbation, they are hardcore call like just brilliant.

It's, that is, that's gonna be, I'm very excited for that. And then I've got a stint at the Edinburgh Festival. Um, well I wanted to talk to you about that because I would really like to come along and support you with that. Yeah. So we can talk about doing something out of the bus. 'cause I've got the bus in Yes.

In Edinburgh too. Gonna be performing my show in the Edinburgh Museum. Yes. And then I got free reign with the bus to do whatever I want. So we need Bingo is bingo. Um, so we've got a lot. We're gonna have a busy year. Love, busy, busy year. Really? Do you know, it is such a funny thing because I just wanna do all the things, but what I've noticed is going back to being a grief, miserable cow again, is that, you know, I've looked at the list of dates that you've given me, um, Dean Times, and I just can't properly process the information.

Like, I can't get it right in my head right now. Love. And so it's like I can't do it. I don't understand what I'm meant to be doing or where, so it just one step at a time. But those dates in your diary, I will pick you up and then you turn up and then you turn up, do something. S calendar. There you go.

Thank you.

No. One of the pictures is the calendar. The love from Covid. We'll get a little, little. He's he, he, I've got pictures of Angela Lansbury by him in every room of my house. That's my personal favorite because also hung up my love in it. Tom, in short, you have a lot of home. Home, darling. You are so discombobulated right now.

Yeah. Your mother bloody died and your Yeah. And you have no home. Everything is like this. Woo. Shifting about. All right, so just, you know. Step by step, literally day by day, an hour by hour basically. Where can people find out all of the information that I can't process about everything that you're doing?

Calendar. In my, on my bio is, um, on my bio as a link tree, and there's links to all the events on there. Also, if you've just reminded me, I haven't even, it might help if I put it on my actual website also. Details, details. I, what was that the most, A-D-H-D-A-F thing you've done this week? Is it? Actually, forget to put all your events on your actual website.

Oh my god. Literally marketing genius. Dartington Devon is 25th. 26th and 27th of April. Yeah, Bristol is the ninth, 10th, and 11th of May. And then Norfolk is the sixth, seventh, and 8th of June. And that's gonna be in Norridge in the place that you got married in, which is a complete coincidence. Isn't that why?

Hang on. This is how backward I am. Is Norwich in June? It's not in May. No Norridge isn't you? Yeah. Okay. Right. Well there we go. No, I didn know that really concentrate on moving house and Stephan will tell you where to be. Yeah. But, but, but the Flint room is a very magical place. So big. And I got married at the Flint room in Norwich and it is actually directly opposite where Stef and I went to school.

So we used to see that church every day at school. It's run by the most wonderful people. Oh really? Trish and Leslie are just legendary. The place is like. Alice in Wonderland, leopard Print Dream. We did the too much tour there and now we're gonna come and join you there. So it's a very, very special place for, for me.

So I'm very excited to be part of that event. Very, very, very excited and good old, nor it. Yeah. Thank you. Oh, I'm so happy about the bus there. I'm so happy for you. It's amazing. Do you have any final words of wisdom, any parting words? Anything you would like to say As the minister of masturbation and queen of female empowerment, what would you like to, to tell your, um, what does it call it?

Tell the con congregation like to tell the congregation to buy tickets to my show. Have a fucking great weekend. Have a great weekend. Carpay the damn die. Uh, and I will see you on the road somewhere around the country. We'll get there. We'll get there and we get there together. I love it so much. So there you go.

That's one of the most chaotic episodes I've ever put out. It's, it's only right that I end on the most a DHD thing as explored in the episode that I dedicated to Mum Grief Exacerbates A DHD symptoms. So, as you've heard, I can't keep track of any dates. I think that venues are in different cities in different months.

You know, it, it really is quite a lot. And truth be told, the most a DHD grief, EAF thing of, of this week is that the episode was actually recorded last Friday, and this episode was meant to be released on Wednesday. But unfortunately, midweek the grief hit me. Like a giant neon pink and green leopard print bus and knocked me down.

And I basically couldn't get out of bed for two days. So I came back round, sort of sometime yesterday evening and today's a better day and it's just gonna have to be like that. And it's just gonna have to be me taking it a step at a time and a day at a time and an hour at a time. And, uh, I'm so grateful to Lou for once again, empowering me in my darkest hour and to Steph for just sticking on and doing so much work when I've been a grief mess.

If you are grieving, you are not alone. And. Thank you for joining me on another chapter of this absolutely ridiculous safari and just enormous thanks to the Leopard Print Army for all of their support behind the scenes, the board of trustees of A DHD AF plus charity, and now a group of facilitators that are growing and supporting and coming up with ideas for the charity and facilitating these incredible groups.

So coming up next month for A-D-H-D-F plus charity, we have peer support groups in Aberdeen, Edinburgh, east London, Manchester, and Birmingham. And there's Cardiff Oxford. Cambridge all waiting in the wings. We're working hard behind the scenes on all of those, and for all information about A-D-H-D-F plus charity.

And if you would like to donate or volunteer, we would be so incredibly grateful. You can head to A-D-H-D-F plus.org.uk and if you are a podcast fan and you would like to connect online to support this podcast, so a separate entity to the charity, then come and join us in the Patreon community. The link is in the show notes where you will also find a link to A-D-H-D-F emporium and to lose incredible magical mystery tour on her wonderful leopard print bus, which I cannot wait to ride in with her and be at some of those incredible events.

So if you are heading to the Self-Love Unleash one Woman show, out of the three day extravaganzas in those cities. I will see you there. Like I said, this episode didn't go out when I wanted it to. It is not as polished as it could be, and it's very chaotic. And I'm recording this last bit again in my pajamas, but the too muchness, the cackling, the loudness, the enthusiasm, the not being able to keep track of any date is how A DHD presents in me.

And that is what I've always shown on this platform. And this is what grief and A DHD looks like in me. Thank you for listening and please be kind to yourself. So, yeah, and as Lou said, car pay the damn dm. Let's have it.