Three for Thee Episode #7: When God's not Listening

Religious practice, at its best, comes from a relationship with our God, our Higher Power. 
But what if we pray, and are not heard?  What do you do when you feel your God is not listening?  Check out three ideas to help you learn conversation with the One.  

Transcript

THREE for THEE Episode #7:  When God’s not Listening

1.    Take time to create space

2.    Consider the opposite of your request

3.    Let go and Let God

Hi there, friends, and blessings to all of you who have come to this podcast looking for more meaning in your life.  It’s my belief that traditional religious practice, which has at its’ core a belief in a God, or Higher Power, is an anecdote for the troubles of life today.  I say this in SPITE OF the many well-founded criticisms of churches, denominations, and religious people, who frequently give religion a bad rep.  

What I say is that prayer, both private, and corporate, is the way to a life full of love and happiness.  Now, please understand that no one life is completely happy, and no one is experiencing love 24/7/365 a year for centuries of years straight.  But, the ways of the world, which include constant self-promotion, self-preservation, self-centeredness and selfishness cause too many of us to become depressed, angry, mentally unstable, and sometimes suicidal.  My stance is that a life centered on our Higher Power will bring to anyone who embraces it a good life, and an even better life beyond this one on earth. I know this through faith, which we discussed in the last episode, and I know this via my own religious practice.

But today, I’d like to work with a complaint one hears all the time about God, and about prayer to God.  That complaint is usually stated as, “I asked God for ____________, but did not receive what I asked for” Another way to put it is, “if God is omnipotent, and all-powerful, why is there suffering/war/poverty/death, etc., etc?”  

And the more painful way of putting it, “Why doesn’t God hear my plea for help?  “Why won’t God’ heal my terminally ill child/parent/spouse?” “Why did God allow 9/11, the war in Ukraine, Hurricane Katrina, etc., etc. “

If you have tried praying to your God, and you’ve not been answered –either by not hearing anything back, or by not getting what you prayed for, I’d like to give you three considerations to ponder that will help you move past that disappointment and onward to even deeper, more fulfilling prayer.

First off, let’s consider what prayer really is.  Picture having an exchange with your partner, a family member, or a best friend. When you talk with anyone close to you in your life, isn’t it a two-way conversation?  You do some talking, then your beloved does some talking while you listen, and back-and-forth. Communication between those in relationship thrives on this back and forth like the humans thrive on food and water.  If one person does all the talking, all the kvetching, all the asking, and all the answering, well, that’s not really a conversation, is it?  And anything this one-sided will eventually kill the relationship.

Friends, prayer to the Higher Power is no different.  Prayer is a conversation.  You do some talking, God does some talking, and back-and-forth. But how is God’s voice heard?  How do you hear God?

Well, this may seem obvious, but to set up a worthy conversation, outside distractions must be lessened or eliminated.  So, my first suggestion is to TAKE TIME, and CREATE SPACE.  That means, if you want to pray, carve out a little time to do so.  I’m not talking about hours of meditation, although there is a place for that. I’m talking about 10 minutes, 20 minutes, whatever time you can take. Partner this gift of time with the gift of SPACE.  Put your phone away, on silent mode, and find a quiet spot where you will not be distracted by others, even if it’s the bathroom.  I’ve touted the benefits of being outside when one needs to be close to one’s true heart, and to God.  Carve out time, and create quiet space, so that a true conversation between you and God can take place. Prioritize this time as sacred in your daily schedule, and you won’t be sorry!

Once time and space are created, take a few deep breaths, and calm your body and mind.  Place your concern (s) out into the air, either verbally, through your breath, or in your mind/heart.  Believe that your God is actually hearing what you have to say…Because God actually is hearing what you have to say. 

Then, simply LISTEN.  How do you listen to something you don’t physically hear?  Sometimes, when I feel God has not heard me, I take some time to consider the opposite of my request, to see if there is any validity to NOT receiving what I ask for.

I’ll give you an example.  Suppose a loved one has a terminal cancer.  You pray for healing for that person with a fervor you’ve never prayed with before…but your loved one is not healing, and will most likely pass from their disease.  You feel, and justifiably so, that God has abandoned you, if God was ever there in the first place. And maybe you’re not only sad, but you are ANGRY.  

You go to God in that anger, and you express it into what seems like thin air.  And once you let that emotion out, you stop for a breath…and all of a sudden you know that your loved one, who might be in pain and discomfort at the moment, will soon be free of any bodily pain for eternity.  Not only will they be free from pain, but they will be free from ALL the cares that life brings. They will be in bliss. And, that realization causes you to relax a bit, and calm down.  And that realization is the voice of God…telling you that a better plan for your loved one is the move to heaven rather than back to the burdens of human life.  

It's not easy to do this, I admit.  It is VERY HARD to let someone we love go.  God’s voice, sometimes heard in the opposite of what we desire, is often not so easy to accept. But, if we practice consideration of the opposite of our desires over time, we find our desires and God’s plan begin to line up in harmony more often than not.  Why is this?  Because we are learning to be in relationship with our Higher Power, rather than regarding God as an eternal vending machine!!!!

I’m not trying to be harsh here…but going to God only when we want something, even if that something is valid, good and true, is not relationship.  Asking with good faith, and listening with an open heart will jump-start your prayer life. And you’ve guessed by now, that this openness of heart comes when we can step away from our own desires even if only for a minute or two, to consider what other possible outcomes might be just as good as the one we are begging for.

So…after taking time, creating space, and considering the opposite of our demands and desires, we learn to converse with God, and we then learn to, in the words of the AA program, “Let go and Let God.”  

I think letting go and allowing God to actually be a force in one’s life comes easier once one has lived awhile. I know myself, as a younger senior citizen, it is much easier to trust this God we cannot see or hear, because my life up till now has been blessed with so many good things…even though I have experienced divorce, loss of job, major illness, and deaths of family and friends.  And, while I will never deny the pain that comes with the suffering of certain events, I also see the other side of the coin and the good that also comes from that same suffering.  And then I know without doubt that God hears, God knows, and God cares for me, wanting only the best for my life. 

And, when you can rely on someone or something, you can relax, and enjoy as your life continues. And, there, my friends, is where the gifts of life reside…in that space of trust, of simple joy, of knowing that the one who knows all, and effects all is in your corner all the time.  

That’s the beauty of prayer…even when it seems one-sided at times.  If you prioritize conversation with your Higher Power, remaining open to other ways of thinking besides your own, and learn to allow God to work by letting go, you will find your relationship with God invaluable, and beautiful.

Wishing you all that is good and Godly!  Blessings!