The Secret to Better Dementia Care? Connection First.

In this episode of Advice From Your Advocates, Elder Law Attorney Bob Mannor sits down with Lydia White, Co-Owner and Client Care Director of Comfort Keepers, to talk about what truly makes caregiving effective—especially when dementia is involved.

While many people think caregiving is simply about completing tasks, Lydia explains why care is fundamentally about relationships, connection, and communication. She shares insights from Teepa Snow’s Positive Approach to Care, a nationally recognized dementia care philosophy that helps caregivers better understand how to connect with individuals living with cognitive decline.

Bob and Lydia also discuss the critical transition from hospital to home, why the first 72 hours after discharge can make or break recovery, and how trained caregivers can help families avoid common complications during that time.

The conversation dives into practical strategies caregivers can use every day—from communicating more effectively with someone living with dementia to creating a support system that prevents caregiver burnout.

Whether you are a family caregiver, healthcare professional, or simply planning ahead for aging, this episode offers valuable insights on how to provide care that protects dignity, builds trust, and improves quality of life.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Why caregiving is about relationships—not just tasks
• The critical role of home care after a hospital discharge
• Communication strategies for connecting with dementia patients
• Insights from Teepa Snow’s Positive Approach to Care
• How caregivers can elevate the care experience for both clients and families

Host: Elder Law Attorney Bob Mannor

Guest: Lydia White, Co-Owner of Comfort Keepers

Executive Producer: Savannah Meksto

Assistant Producers: Samantha Noah, Shalene Gaul

Transcript

Meet Lydia And Her Mission

SPEAKER_03 0:00

You're listening to Advice from Your Advocates, a show where we provide elder law advice to professionals who work with the elderly and their families.

SPEAKER_00 0:09

Welcome back to Advice from Your Advocates. I'm Bob Manner. I'm a board certified elder law attorney in Michigan, and we have the fortune today to have a local care provider of home care. We've got Lydia White, co-owner and client care director of Comfort Keepers that covers the communities of Bloomfield Hills, Farmington Hills, Howell, and Rochester Hills. What's unique about Lydia, and she's going to tell you a little bit more about herself, but what's unique is that she has a she is a certified champion teacher for Teepa Snow's positive approach to care. So many of you have heard that name before, Teepa Snow. She's kind of a legend in long-term care, and specifically she's a legend in dementia care. So we're going to get into that. And she's also a certified dementia practitioner. And many of you know that we are a certified dementia practitioner. I don't know how you say it. Teachers, we help people get their certified dementia practitioner credentials by Welcome, Lydia.

SPEAKER_03 1:09

Thank you so much, Bob. Thanks for having me. I really appreciate it. It's lovely to be here.

SPEAKER_00 1:14

Can you just tell us a little bit more about yourself? I know I kind of already stole your thunder of telling them really great stuff about you, but tell us a little bit more about yourself.

Home Health vs Home Care Clarity

SPEAKER_03 1:22

I appreciate that. So, yes, I am the co-owner of Comfort Keepers. We cover almost a thousand square miles between the locations of Howell and Rochester, all the way up to Pontiac, all the way to Lavonia, and all the way out the 96 corridor to Howell and Brighton and those locations. So we have a large footprint.

SPEAKER_00 1:42

So I want to, you know, let's get into this a little bit about Comfort Keepers, because one of the things that I think is really important is, you know, Comfort Keepers provides that hour-to-hour care that is necessary in many, many cases. And so when somebody's in the healthcare setting and they're in the hospital or they're talking to their doctor, often they'll say, and I had a clo a family come in just the other day and they were told they'd get home care. And I have social workers in my office and they refer to this as home care. And when it's home care covered by Medicare, it's very, very limited in the number of hours. It might be a nurse coming by for a half hour to an hour a week. It might be a physical therapist or even a social worker, but it's very number limited hours. And what you provide is what really is necessary, if my understanding is correct, which is somebody to be there to help somebody get out of bed in the morning, to help get dressed, to help them get showered, help them get to the bathroom, all those types of things.

The Discharge Gap And Risks

SPEAKER_03 2:46

Absolutely. And you bring up a very important topic. The hospital discharge process is really designed to ensure that the patient is medically stable, right? That they meet these markers that their blood counts and things like this are all up to speed and the doctor ultimately decides when it's time to go based on those medical markers. Then they are discharged home. Sometimes they're by themselves, sometimes they don't have any support, and they're sent home with a whole bunch of pieces of paper called a discharge plan that the nurse goes over, you know. But if you've got somebody that's hard of hearing, that has dementia, or that generally is overwhelmed and stressed out for being in the hospital, they may not catch all the detail. So that's where we come in and we actually will talk with the discharge planners, with the nurses. And I strongly encourage family members to go into the hospital and definitely be there when they're discharging and going over all the necessary information.

SPEAKER_00 3:47

I'm gonna take you, I'm gonna take that to a whole nother level because I was in the hospital when I was about 40 years old. That was a while ago. I I'm not close to 40 anymore, but uh, when I was about 40, I got admitted to the hospital for one night, and my discharge was I had the same experience that you're just describing. And I was so a couple things. I was first of all, I was 40 years old, fully cognizant, didn't have any hearing issues, uh, was a highly educated professional that works with people in the long-term care industry, it was still overwhelming. And not only was it overwhelming for this discharge, but I also ended up with leaving with two prescriptions that if I wasn't like if I had slightly less knowledge than I did, I would not have realized that it was a double dose of the same prescription. They use different, you know, one was the generic and one was the you know and the not generic. And so, but you know, hopefully the pharmacist would have picked on uh picked that up, but who knows, you know. And so had I not known, because one doctor gave me one prescription, a different doctor gave me another prescription, it was the same prescription. And so it could have been very, very dangerous, you know. That was me at 40 as a highly educated professional that works in the long-term care industry. And can you imagine if you're 90 and have some memory issues?

Case Study: Thriving At Home

SPEAKER_03 5:11

Absolutely. And I think another thing to to remember is that the medical, they're doing the best they can with what they have. Right. They're limited by insurance, you know, insurance runs out at 21 days, whatever it is. And they're limited by that particular process. And then they it's it's like you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here, right? You have to go home. And when you when they come home, that's what Comfort Keepers does. Is I also have, we as a business have worked really hard to become a partner. We call ourselves care partners. So we're willing to help the family out with some of that organization. I actually have a client that we're still working with today that I met him and his nephew at a rehabilitation center four years ago. And he unfortunately lived alone and he had had a major medical event, ended up in the hospital in ICU. He was very sick and he has a lot of chronic conditions, but he's on the younger side, you know, and his family said, We want to bring him home, but I want you guys to do everything. He's got a he's got pets, he needs help getting to and from doctors' appointments, he has a number of different conditions. His house needs a little bit of help. He was he was really suffering. He had lost his wife about two months before that. And it really, once all that happened, we were able to, you know, his family kind of stepped away and said, you know, he's not really able to take care of himself. So we came in and I said, we'll do everything. We'll do basically case management, we'll make sure that he gets where he needs to go. I hired a nurse to do the medication management. And we have a strong team of caregivers there that are there around the clock that help him with everything, including if contractors come to the door looking for work, they will help, you know, contractors.

SPEAKER_00 6:59

Or scammers, right?

SPEAKER_03 7:00

Vet them. Yeah. I was trying to be generous there, but to vet them out and make sure that we're understanding what's going on. We we have access to electronic notes and the caregivers, you know, always give us updates on that. And as a result, he is thriving at home. And I think that's that's really what drives me, you know, is is watching this guy go from really not getting off of his couch, not being able to get to the bathroom, to I want to go volunteer at the Humane Society. It's it's amazing.

SPEAKER_00 7:32

That is amazing. You had mentioned something about making sure he gets to his appointments, like his doctor's appointments. Is that something that you can do? I I actually don't know the answer to this question. Are you able to arrange transportation and things like that and go with your clients to their doctor's appointments and such?

SPEAKER_03 7:51

Absolutely. And we have a lot of different cases where, for example, uh folks with Parkinson's might go to like what they call a boxing class. They have special boxing classes for Parkinson's people. And we go to those, we actually will participate in the exercise, bring them home, take them to physical therapy if needed. We'll we can also help them with their physical therapy at home. All of those things are we we believe that care is a relationship, not a task. So we're gonna meet them where they're at and figure out with the family, of course, what's the best, the best possible way forward. You know, I I personally, the reason why I do this is manifold. It's professional and personal. My grandmother had 11 children. She grew up in a small town. Uh, she lived right across the street from a church where she helped the priest with different things and social activities, and that was her purpose in life after all of her kids were gone. She had over 50 grandchildren. And we started noticing some issues, and my uncles and aunts didn't know what to do because they're at, you know, 1998, there really weren't a lot of choices. So they put her in a nursing home. I didn't get to see her very often, but when I did, she was just kind of a shell of herself. They did not have the skills that they have now, which is why TPA Snow, to bring that back, was so important to me because she gave me personally and many others the skills to be able to work with people with dementia and connect with them first before we try to do anything. And if my grandmother would have had that, she probably could have stayed home at least a few more years and had a better quality of life. And my other grandmother as well passed away from cancer, and I don't believe she had a lot of help at her home either. So what we do is very important, and it's also important to the families. So the families can just be a daughter or a son, and they can just enjoy time with their family. Mm-hmm.

Beyond Rides: Engagement And Purpose

SPEAKER_00 9:47

So I want to get a little deeper into the Teepa Snow education that you've gotten, which I'm really curious about. But I you said something there that I want to explore a little bit further. You said caregiving is a relationship, not a task. I think that's such an important statement, and it, you know, and I think that some people will hear that and say, oh, that's just a slogan or whatever. I think that that is a very real scenario where if it's a task and the person you're caring for is cold, you might come up behind them and put a blanket on them. And because they're not fully understanding their surroundings, that may seem like an attack on them. And so if you're doing the task, then that might put that person in a state of aggravation and really kind of ruin the rest of the night. Whereas a if it's a relationship, you come around to the front, you get down on your knee, and you, you know, talk to the person, say, Are you cold? Can I put this blanket on you? And then it becomes a very positive experience. People talk about sundowners, and I I get that that's a real thing. I'm not saying it's not, but part of it is because of having to go all day lacking in the ability to fully understand the things around you. So if we can really be careful about trying to connect the person with their surroundings and not just do tasks, but really have a relationship and get down on their level, speak to them eye to eye, speak slowly, things like that, I think that would really help with those kind of sundowners and aggravation or behavior issues.

Why Relationship Over Tasks Matters

SPEAKER_03 11:29

Absolutely. And I think the key with TIPA's positive approach to care is that we become skilled in connecting with those living with dementia so that it makes their lives easier. And it also helps with caregiver burnout, whether it's a family caregiver, professional caregiver. Um, we have all kinds of examples of caregivers connecting directly with somebody and them lighting up when they see the caregiver come. They may not remember their name, but they light up because they know that person treats me well. I remember that part. We always remember how people make us feel. And so with us, we try to focus on that type of care with our training, with our caregivers. They all have to go through some type of snow online training, and we're going to be rolling out some additional certification training as well. It is so important to me that that's why I got the certification and and roll it out to our teams. I also am so passionate about this. I'm currently in nursing school. It was on my bucket list. So I have a unique perspective of doing clinicals in some of the major hospitals around here. And then also what's really funny, and obviously we can't talk about names or anything, but I ran into an older client that we used to care for in the hospital as a nursing student. And it was very interesting to talk with him and see how he was doing and to know that the nurses are doing their very best. It's not about the nursing, it's they only have so much time.

SPEAKER_02 12:56

Right.

SPEAKER_03 12:56

And I watched several different people do the discharge paperwork with the patient. And the patient was so stressed out because they wanted to leave the hospital that they weren't listening. You know, it it's not that they were being rude or it's not that the nurse was rushing them. It's just like you said, the communication is not there. They really needed someone. I said, Do you live with anybody at the house? And she said, No. And I said, it would it would be nice to have someone there to help you go through those things. And my hope with my nursing degree is to help with more specific medication management because I see a lot of mistakes made there that can cause a lot of problems or doubling up on medication because they don't understand or they forget. Highly recommend the pill boxes, the daily reminders. I I can't stress that enough.

SPEAKER_00 13:45

Even if it is a caregiver, you still want to set those out that way, just because caregiver can make mistakes too. So you said you taught uh someone with dementia could still perceive caring or I think that's very true. Uh, we had somebody from the Alzheimer Association come and talk to us at our uh our law office, and uh they talked about how that, and I'm not gonna get the percentages exactly right, but at least 90% of communication is not verbal. Right. And that's for somebody that doesn't have dementia.

SPEAKER_03 14:17

Right.

Skills From Teepa Snow’s Approach

SPEAKER_00 14:18

And so it is, and I I fully believe this is true. A lot of it is tone, a lot of it is body language, a lot of it is facial expression, and so it's very difficult for people to fully hear the words. This is where, you know, occasionally you'll hear about, you know, people certain limitations about being able to fully understand nuance or people's emotions and how that they're not always perceived well, which is unfortunate because you know they're probably well-intentioned, but but they're not able to do the body language and really perception that others do. And I think this is particularly important for when someone has dementia. I've told this story many times, but I I I think it's just a really relevant and and true story to kind of help people understand it really is important about how you approach, how you interact. You can't just do the task. And so it's really important about how the person perceives you because they're not able to, especially with somebody with dementia, they're not able to fully understand the words, they're not able to fully understand even the actions. Sometimes the actions, it has to be those nuances, that body language, the facial expressions, those types of things. And so when my, you know, mom was with us, I would get calls, and my siblings would also get calls, and she would call us to tell us that there was a man in the house. And she was very calm about it. And so, and that's not something that would not, if there had been previous years, if there was a strange man in the house, she would not be calm about this. This was not something that but she was very calm, and she's like, I know that he's a good man and he's well intentioned. And uh sometimes she would say, I think he might be working on the road down the street, and he just came in. She grew up in Flint, so I think maybe that was where like there was always workers down the street. I don't know where she got the worker down the street thing, but she was never afraid. Right. She was all and it was my dad, obviously. The story is that was my dad. And so, but she would call us, and each of us would get these calls sometimes, and it would be there's there's a strange man in the house, but don't worry about it because he's a good man and he's well-intentioned and he cares about me. And I I don't know who he is, and I think he might just be a worker that was, you know, just came in off the street. It's like that's not a thing that happens, but you know, uh and so, but that's that's how important this is about the relationship part of the caregiving, about the body language, about the uh intentionality of it, is that someone, you know, I've have had lots of times where it was a married couple, but they didn't recognize their spouse and they got very angry, and it was, you know, I can fully understand that. When your spouse doesn't recognize you, that feels pretty bad, right? That that could be you could be really offended by that because you've been married for 65 years. And so, you know, the it's the approach of making sure somebody feels safe. And this is this is just a lesson to all caregivers, home caregivers, family caregivers, everybody else. It's just it really is that relationship over the task.

SPEAKER_03 17:41

Yeah, and I I'd like to add something to that. I we've actually I've met with families when there is there's you know spouses in the mix, one has advanced, you know, dementia. We're talking like, you know, goes, leaves, wanders the house, wanders away from the house, and is also has some, you know, we all come to this world with what we have, and we also have dynamics with all the beautiful people in our lives and our kids and our spouse, right? And that does not go away when we become ill. If anything, it might exasperate it. And so this particular woman had a lot of issues, and she basically would get really upset every time the husband would say, I'm going, I'm leaving. And he and I suggested, I said, since since she's there with the caregiver and she's safe and they're working on something at the table, maybe just go and come back if it's not a long trip and not mention that it was something very small. And wouldn't you know that actually turned the whole thing around where it it just triggered her every time he left because that was her safe zone. That was her emotional connection. And I think one of the things that maybe doesn't get talked about enough, and one of the reasons I do I advocate for both caregivers and the clients are, you know, they look to the caregiver for that emotional support, even though it's not necessarily on the job description. We don't talk about it. But if that person's calm and that person is handling me right and with loving kindness, it's a little easier for me to get through my day. There's a lot of misunderstandings with dementia. There were misunderstandings with my grandmother. You know, towards the end of her life, she couldn't feed herself. And now we know why, but I don't know if my family really understood that and why that was happening. It's the brain is dying, and the front part of the brain that has the discernment and the judgment that you and I might have is no longer there and they're very impulsive and can't follow normal procedures like brushing teeth. So imagine going through life like that and getting emotionally upset and not being able to get out of it, and then everyone else around you is upset and stressed out. It's we we owe it to people to try to do better and to help them. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 19:52

I'd like to get into a little bit more about this. Uh your certified champion teacher for TPA Snow's positive approach to care. So if you can tell us, for those listeners that don't know, a little bit about TPA Snow and then a little bit about this program, the positive approach to care, and your role as a teacher in that program.

Timing, Silence, And Dignity

SPEAKER_03 20:14

Sure. Absolutely. So as part of the certification process, we we have to do pre-work. We actually have to record ourselves teaching the principles. And the principles are mainly, you know, it's called positive approach to care. It's also, you know, you get in your you get in their eyesight, and people with dementia have limited visual processing. So you want to get you mentioned this earlier, Bob. You want to get right up, not in their face aggressively, but you know, in the within their eye contact. And then you want to say hello, and then, you know, offer something like, I noticed you have I noticed you have Mickey Mouse earrings on, something like that. And then you want to offer your hand because TPA says one of the things that happens is that they keep automatic movements. And one of the automatic movements in the Western community, you know, civilization, I guess, is a handshake. Now, obviously during COVID, that's probably not super great, but you stick out your hand and immediately other people stick out their hand. And so that's one of the ways that, and then once you have their hand, they then have given you that physical permission to basically interact. There are times when they won't give you their hand, and that's okay. That's not about you, that's about them. And you have to find other ways. So that I went through a course of this, and then also we have to recertify every year with Tipa and her team. And that requires going out, and I've delivered this presentation over the course of it's like a three or four hour presentation where we it's interactive and we do a lot of interactive activities and we talk about the brain, what changes happen in the brain. We explain why uh people with dementia keep. The opportunity, they they don't lose swear words. They may have trouble on the left side of their brain, you know, with processing language and comprehension and all these types of things. But on the other hand, they remember how to do a handshake, they remember music, they remember the pattern of speech, like a question, prayer, and they also remember swear words. So if you've ever been to a memory care unit, you know that there's not a lot of a filter sometimes in some of the things that come out of the mouth. So we learn all of that, and we also have hands-on training where we learn with groups of people, we discuss things, and I got to learn directly with Teepa. It was the coolest thing. And then we recertify. And basically, what the training looks like is exactly the training I went through. And we learn how to, you know, basically talk people through things, have them self-reflect on how they feel they did. And the whole idea behind Teepa's program is that you have to practice the skills to become good at the skills. It is less about being patient and it is more about having the skills to connect with somebody who is in a stage in their life where they may or may not know what's going on, or they may or may not know who you are, even if they know you already.

SPEAKER_02 23:13

Right.

SPEAKER_03 23:14

You know, all those different things. It was life-changing. And I always think about my grandmother when I do this because I know that what she was going through are all the things Tipa talks about. And all the things that, you know, she is an occupational therapist by trade, I guess, and a researcher. So she understands the the connection between or the lack of connection between the gray matter, the white matter, and the brain. And if you notice if you're talking to somebody that has dementia, give them like three seconds to process what you say. Keep it simple, give them small choices. And those little things have helped, I mean, probably thousands and thousands of people like me learn how to connect with people that have dementia and also help their families, you know, as in the the story that I just mentioned with the gentleman and and his wife. You know, it's important to be able to help the families that not nobody's nobody's doing anything wrong. We like to try to get away from that. And that is also Teepa's approach that if you know better, you'll do better.

SPEAKER_01 24:13

Yeah.

Activities That Slow Decline

SPEAKER_03 24:14

And these these are skills you need to practice, which is why we talk about this a lot in the business. I believe the business is basically the hands and feet of the vision that we want. And our vision lines up very well with Teepa's as well, that positive approach to care, making sure people are cared for. Also, you know, bringing the family along with us. And I think one of the harder things I see is when families aren't lined up. And I get that. I have a brother. I don't know if we agree on things with my parents. And when we meet with the families, it's it's always good to remind the families to have an idea about who they want to be the go-to, who they want to be, handle the legal things, the medical things, and and then make sure we have a plan ahead of time. It causes a lot of stress and tension and sorrow when that plan is not put together first. And nobody wants to be dealing with anything, whether at the hospital with mom, and mom has to now come home or go to a facility within the span of one week. It's super overwhelming.

SPEAKER_00 25:18

You had mentioned something there about the three seconds, and so I don't have a timer here, but if I did, I might do that because you know, three seconds seems like it's such a short period of time. But if you're having a conversation with somebody and you ask them a question and then you have to wait for their response for three seconds with zero with silence for three seconds, it seems like three minutes.

SPEAKER_03 25:42

It does.

SPEAKER_00 25:44

Honestly, it's much harder if you've never done this where you just timed it out, where you ask a question and then you get the timer. You I think human nature feels like we need to fill the silence, and that's the opposite of what someone with dementia needs. They are processing things a little bit slower. They might be able to come up with an articulate answer or somewhat answer, but you need to give them time, and maybe it's more than three seconds. The idea is to ask the question and then stay silent and not try to re-explain or ask another question. Now you're getting into a whole thing where in my previous life I was a courtroom attorney. And that was that was not allowed in court. You can't ask compound questions. You have to ask one question at a time. If you ask compound questions, so you ask a question, they don't respond right away, and you ask another question, which is what our human nature is, that's an objection that the judge will sustain to say, nope, you can't do that. You have to wait for your answer. And so it's difficult, even you know, with with professional training, the idea is if we want to encourage self-awareness and honestly, even stall the aggression. The more we stimulate the brain and make them do their own thing. We went to Hokovic, which is that dementia village.

SPEAKER_02 27:03

Yeah.

Training Caregivers And Families

SPEAKER_00 27:03

And they have activities during the day, partly because it stimulates their brain. They go for walks, they help shop for groceries, they help fold the laundry, they go and listen to music, they have little clubs that they go to. And these are not, you know, so I think people when they hear this is oh, well, this is the people that are in early dementia. No, these are people in late dementia. You can't be in Hokobic until you're a stage five dementia, which is pretty severe dementia. And they they fill their days with activities and it it stalls the progression of the disease. It allows for people to have not only longer life, but better quality of life during that time period. And uh it's one of those things where, you know, if if we do everything for somebody, so if we ask them a question, they don't answer right away, and then we just answer for them, and then we don't include them in the conversation anymore, that's that's that's going to be a lesser quality of life for them.

SPEAKER_03 27:59

Yes. And that skills piece goes along with, you know, as we as we're working with someone that has dementia and they might take a little bit more time to process something, you're encouraging them and giving them a safe space for that dignity.

SPEAKER_00 28:14

Yes, dignity.

SPEAKER_03 28:15

They probably know what you're saying, but you can see it in their eyes where they're they're it takes them a minute to understand just because they're they're they can't help it. It would be the same thing if you had a heart condition. Their brain is is not working as well. We give them that dignity to answer as a human being and someone we love. We have to treat, I mean, we would hope that people that we love, we would treat that way. Give them the space, then you're creating that relationship. It's true they may not remember every single thing and they may not understand the rationalization of it, which brings me to an important point, Mrs. Atipa saying, show your agenda and don't show your agenda. So for people like with what we do when we go out and help people in the home, I always say, know what you need to do. Let's say you need to get Mrs. Smith to a doctor's appointment and you also need to do a load of laundry before you leave. You need to know how to time manage that so we get her in the car at about two o'clock. If you know it takes her two hours to get ready, get that started so that you're not rushing her and you're not stressing her out. And then we also elevate the caregiving role and job beyond a custodial type position. It's skilled position. And I would love to see that more in my lifetime where it's skilled and people actually have these, they're caring, they're they're heart-driven people, but they also have the skills to be able to navigate that so that the client who's living with dementia still feels good about themselves and feels like they're getting things done, which kind of brings me all back to my grandmother, and we took that away from her basically because there wasn't any other option. But you know, it it's I see it over and over again. And then sometimes people get they're in a rush. I've been in a rush and they're like, Mom, just I had this happen yesterday. Mom, just stop. You know, I don't that person doesn't want to hear it because they've already heard the story a hundred times. But to but to Mrs. Smith, it's the first time she's ever told it.

SPEAKER_00 30:13

Right.

Practical Takeaways For Discharge

SPEAKER_03 30:14

So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:15

It's uh not appropriate to apatize the people with dementia, but it is somewhat like dealing with children, right? Yeah. Sometimes you just get frustrated and we're in a hurry, and we're just like, Yeah, okay, I'm just gonna do it for you because we're in a hurry, so let's get it done. And it's understandable, and so it's human nature, and we're all we're never none of us are ever gonna be perfect on this. Tell me a little bit more about how you've used this training and being a teacher for the Teepa Snow positive approach to care in Comfort Keepers and how much training your your caregivers get in regard to this.

SPEAKER_03 30:52

Yeah, so as I mentioned, we're rolling out a whole certification program that Comfort Keepers as a whole built. So we already have that curriculum built, and I'm gonna roll that out. In addition, I have offered the Teepa Snow champion certifications within here within the walls of the Comfort Keepers and also outward to another work couple of organizations.

SPEAKER_02 31:14

Right.

Closing And Where To Listen

SPEAKER_03 31:15

Yeah, I mean, the the benefit of having that is less caregiver burnout and more understanding and elevating, elevating not only just the caregivers and their skills, but elevating the clients as a result. And that is our entire brand is we in our care plans, we literally have how did you elevate your client's spirit today? And that is what we're looking for. We wanna, it's the whole person, right? You go to the hospital, you get treated, you get bandaged up, you come home. There's a lot of other things that need to happen. And that includes helping to communicate what needs to happen next in the way they can understand it. And then the caregivers not feeling so stressed out either, and being able to walk in and help them through their day. It's it's easier for everybody. And this training that I got from Teepa Snow, I have, I have watched it change the interaction between the caregiver or the family and the ability for mom to stay home, maybe not, you know, forever, but for another year or two years, because we were able to find that middle road and to use those tools. And it really isn't about the person living with dementia, it's about us adapting to where they're at and figuring out what they still can do on their own and helping them with those things to increase their self-esteem. So it is an absolute desire of mine to bring this to more people. When I mentioned T Pusnow, people always light up because they know who she is. And she has a whole training program that she recertifies people. So we continue to do that. I always included, I just talked with a caregiver about how to approach a client. We we take care of couples a lot, husbands and wives. And watch the caregiver, I observe the caregiver. And again, she's not doing anything wrong, but she's her go-to to talk to is the husband because he's able to communicate with her what we would call normally, right? I say something, you say something, right? They get that pattern. But when she comes in, she was not really getting the the wife, she was not really talking to her directly or touching her in any way. I said, when you walk in, I want you to say hi and sit down next to her. Put your hand out, like the handshake. I did that. She put her hand right in my hand and we talked and she giggled. And before a couple days before that, she was yelling at the caregiver because she probably doesn't feel seen before. Because the caregiver's not doing anything wrong. She's just wants to get her breakfast made and all these other things that need to get done.

SPEAKER_00 33:50

Right. No, it's task-oriented, done, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 33:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:54

I remember in my mom's last days, I had brought the kids down and they were all just playing in front of her, and I was sitting down next to her and holding her hand. I have no idea whether she recognized all of us, but she had that positive feeling, and so she was she wasn't non-communicable, but she would verbalize things and it was gibberish. But you could still tell that she was happy because you know, I would see her watching the kids, and every once in a while she and she was smiling the whole time, and every once in a while she'd look at me and wink, you know. And it was it was just one of those things where you can't always express communication through words. Sometimes it's it's more about touch, it's more about connection and all of that. So what as we as we wrap things up here, what takeaways would you want to leave our audience based on our discussion?

SPEAKER_03 34:49

So I I definitely we didn't touch on too much of this, but in terms of bringing someone home from the hospital, and again, I understand I own a business where we take care of people, but really I would be there in the room when they're doing the discharge planning. And also for those people that don't know, discharge could they could say it's today and it's not today. It could be tomorrow, but have that plan ready to go for when they come home and also make sure you're managing their medications so they're not trying to figure that out on their own. There's a lot of blood pressure medications that should not be mixed and things like that. Always include your follow-ups with your primary care.

SPEAKER_00 35:26

In terms of questions, are we still supposed to have this medication? Because when you go to the hospital, sometimes they give you additional medications. And we had this conversation with a doctor on the podcast recently, and he said doctors sometimes are just deferential to the previous doctor. Correct. So if they have their, you know, and so the hospital doctor, you know, prescribes this stuff and nobody takes it away when it was really only supposed to be temporary when they were in the hospital. And so it's really important that families and caregivers ask those questions are are all these medicines still necessary?

SPEAKER_03 35:59

Yeah. And just and to add one other thing, so the first 72 hours aren't just about getting home, they they truly shape the entire recovery journey. And I think it's also important that families, you know, I have a mom and a dad that are in their 80s, and you know, it it's hard to see them getting older, but if they came home from the hospital, I'd need to know. And because I'm in the shoes that I'm in and understand, it might take them for every day you're in the hospital, it might take a week to get your strength back. And just know that they may not be at that baseline that they were before, and they might never be. So we need to prepare for that short term and long term and know that they may need some care for a while and they may they may be able to get rid of the care, but they're never going to return home from the hospital and be good as new. It just doesn't work that way, unfortunately.

SPEAKER_00 36:49

Well, thank you so much. We've been talking with Lydia White, co-owner and client care director of Comfort Keepers, serving Bloomfield Hills, Farmington Hills, Howell, and Rochester Hills. Really great conversation and very much appreciate it, Lydia.

SPEAKER_03 37:02

Thank you so much, Bob. I really appreciate you and all that you're doing.

SPEAKER_00 37:05

If you've enjoyed this conversation, don't forget to subscribe to Advice from Your Advocates. You can find us on any place that you listen to podcasts. You can also listen to the podcast on our website, which is manorlawgroup.com. Thanks for listening, and we'll see you next time.

SPEAKER_03 37:26

Thanks for listening. To learn more, visit manorlawgroup.com.