MA Top 12: And Just Like That Ft. Emily B. and Taina (S2 Ep.8)

Hey Ma! We’re hitting rewind and spotlighting our "MA Top 12" — the standout episodes from our first three seasons of Moms Actually. From October 12 to December 28, don’t miss the moments that defined us. Join us as a we take a trip down memory lane as we prepare for Season 4. 

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Imagine having your first child as a teen and then, decades later, parenting another set of toddlers. Would you be the same person, the same parent? Join us as we explore the complexities of motherhood through different stages of life with our guests, the phenomenal Emily B. and her daughter, influencer, Taina.

We are discussing:

• Having children decades apart and months apart
• Having children the same time as your child
• Body image after babies 
• Preparing your child to become a mother  
• The significance of getting to know your children and embracing life's unexpected turns with open arms
• The  complexity of motherhood and friendship. 
• The struggle of maintaining a balance between being a parent and friend to their children. 

★ New Episodes are released on Thursdays on YouTube and Podcast Platforms.
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Transcript

Challenges of Motherhood Later in Life

Speaker 1 0:29

I've been a mom for 24 years, so like having a baby now and my daughter is a mom and has a one-year-old too, that's been the biggest change because you know this is the age where I should just be, you know, kind of like done hey mom, what's up?

Speaker 2 0:45

Hey mom, what's up? Hey mom, what's up? Hey mom, what's up? Hey mom, what's up? Hey mom, what's up? Hey mom, what's up? Hey mom, hey mom, what's up? Hey mom, what's up? Hey mom, what's up?

Speaker 3 0:59

Hey mom, where was the last time you sat with Dwayne Luzara? It was with everyone. You know it's really difficult because you don't know about the stuff of it, but the main thing, you see people, you see pretending to be you know, but you feel they're just standing up to it and you don't expect to subscribe. It's just, they're just standing up to your hobbies and you know you don't think you know about the stuff of it and you feel this starts to hit the spot. You don't know. It's not like you don't expect tovik that the spots are like number zero.

Speaker 3 1:29

Emily B, designer and stylist, and we have Tyena, who is a beautiful, well-known influencer. And Emily B has four kids. Oh yeah, four babies. Tyena's got two.

Speaker 4 1:42

Yes, she has six babies, you guys? She says so I have six.

Speaker 3 1:45

Oh, she's adding up to the other.

Speaker 5 1:47

Hold on, I'm not like. Oh, are you baby? What did I?

Speaker 1 1:49

call you, they call me Mimi, mimi.

Speaker 3 1:52

That's cute I love that Mama and Mimi.

Speaker 2 1:56

OK.

Speaker 3 1:56

OK, so to start this episode, we're going to play a little game, so this is why we have these beautiful paddles.

Speaker 5 2:02

Oh, I was looking at these. What is this? Yeah, the paddles.

Speaker 3 2:06

No, we were going to yeah, yeah, but I'll. So we're going to play a game. I'm going to ask some questions. If it is gold, that means yes, you agree. If it is white, that means no, you don't agree. If kind of in the middle, you know, figure it out, but your first answer is the real answer.

Speaker 5 2:23

So just go with it, ok.

Speaker 3 2:25

OK. So the first question Do you like your body better before kids or after kids?

Speaker 2 2:34

Well, how would you answer that?

Speaker 3 2:36

Well, let's say before is gold OK, and after is white OK. So I'm going to go with gold.

Speaker 4 2:41

I'm going to go with gold, gold Before.

Speaker 3 2:45

Gold. Do you think you were selfish before kids or after? Do you think you were more selfish before kids? Definitely yes.

Speaker 6 2:56

Yeah, no, I didn't have time to be selfish.

Speaker 4 2:58

I think I was less selfish.

Speaker 1 2:59

I don't even remember what people were saying I'm not.

Speaker 3 3:02

I didn't realize I was selfish until I had kids. So I might have been selfish, but I didn't know.

Speaker 6 3:05

But when I got married, I was going to know For selfish. Yeah, you don't feel like I was selfish.

Speaker 3 3:09

No, I felt like I was the most amazing person ever. I don't even remember.

Speaker 1 3:14

This was so long ago.

Speaker 3 3:15

Yes. Do you think you have more patience before kids?

Speaker 4 3:18

Yes, or no White Gold, or I mean, how does it feel? It's just how you're felt. Yes, not whether it's true. I haven't had patience yet. No, no, I didn't have no.

Speaker 1 3:27

OK, I have a lot more patience now, Now yeah.

Speaker 4 3:30

Did you rent? Ok, no go.

Speaker 3 3:33

Did you enjoy the idea of sex more before kids? Yes, yes, we helped how diverse. Are you? I don't know I'm about to say I don't know Like a bow yeah. Did it feel different after kids?

Speaker 6 3:50

Yes, yes, I think so. Yeah, I did everything. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 5 3:57

Oh, y'all don't understand the question. Okay, we're here, I know that I'm like wait. No, okay, I'm gonna say page this.

Speaker 3 4:14

Right you go out more like go out and do more stuff with your life before kids?

Speaker 5 4:18

yes, no, I do way more now yeah, I need to my life I mean, I was a teenager.

Speaker 1 4:27

I go out with more now than before.

Speaker 3 4:29

Yeah, okay, so some of us have multiple kids, so see how this one pans out, but did you plan your babies?

Speaker 6 4:36

No, Sort of.

Speaker 3 4:45

My kids are gonna get the my birth control face. Is motherhood what you imagined it would be? Yes, yes yo. I thought I would have it on love. I thought it was gonna be easy.

Speaker 5 4:58

Yeah, I mean, I love it, but like I didn't know you, know what I was gonna be what do?

Speaker 3 5:02

you think it was gonna be.

Speaker 5 5:03

I don't know like I really cannot answer that yeah, yeah, I didn't know, I just so you jumped in you.

Speaker 3 5:09

yeah, I don't have anything to expect or not expect exactly so see, when I came in I thought I would have it locked, cuz I'm very organized, I'm very together, I can like do 20 things at once.

Speaker 2 5:20

I'm not me beat my butt.

Speaker 3 5:22

I hated it. I was running away from my kids. My Mother-in-law, if she forgot something and like and we live like on the Between two states if she forgot something in Georgia and I was in South Carolina, I'd be like I'll go get it for you. I would drive two hours so I could get away from my kids.

Speaker 1 5:37

Yeah, oh wow. My kids are so spread out, like each of my kids are born in a different decade.

Speaker 4 5:42

Oh, wow.

Speaker 3 5:43

They're so spread out. So since you planned it, did you want? You wanted them that far apart? Well, yeah, every time.

Speaker 1 5:50

I was like I think it's time.

Speaker 5 5:57

Them kids came no.

Speaker 3 6:00

No, no, no she asked me five.

Speaker 1 6:09

Ten years ten years apart, for my first son Is 17 years apart from the second and 22 years apart from the last one, so yeah, Okay, so that's what I was gonna say when she had my youngest brother, jonas.

Speaker 5 6:31

He's seven. Yeah, when she had him, that was like my first child See my the oldest one, mm-hmm, johan, he is 14, but we were like brothers and sisters, like I didn't raise like it was the same age yeah but when she had Jonas it was like completely different. It was like this is my child, but now that I'm a mom it's like completely different, because it's like that's still my brother's and you can't you can't Exactly when I'm done and then so it's completely different.

Speaker 5 7:01

Yeah, yeah, that was her baby. Yeah, but that was my baby.

Speaker 6 7:04

That was my first born, oh, like so, emily, I have a question for you. Uh-oh, what change had the biggest impact on you? What change?

Speaker 1 7:14

like in motherhood or well, I think having a baby at 39 you know, I've I've been a mom for 24 years, so like Having a baby now and my daughter is a mom and has a one-year-old too, that's been the biggest change because, you know, this is the age where I should just be, you know, kind of like done. Yeah, you know I'm saying so. I think this is the first time in my life where I don't have a nanny, like I don't. I'm like almost like a stay-at-home mom. Wow, yeah, so that this is the biggest change for me. It's been, it's been um, life changing.

Speaker 2 7:45

Yeah.

Speaker 1 7:45

Yeah, and then the pandemic, and you know which was a pandemic baby.

Speaker 3 7:49

So it's been a lot like having kids the same age.

Speaker 1 7:52

It's weird.

Speaker 5 7:56

I.

Speaker 1 7:58

Like it's been hard because I try to juggle. Yes, it's like when she's visiting me or I'm visiting her. I still have a baby, so it's not, but you still gotta be Mimi.

Speaker 3 8:06

Yeah.

Speaker 2 8:07

But it's not this baby.

Speaker 5 8:09

So when she when Okay, when she had my sister, I was actually pregnant. I was like seven weeks pregnant and I was like this is gonna be weird. I'm like this is gonna be super weird that she's gonna be like a baby. Like how many months was she journey she's like eight months older than my son. So it was so weird. And then when I had the baby and she would come, it was like she always still had a baby.

Speaker 3 8:37

So she couldn't like be a team to me for 100%. So she dropped our kids off with grandma, Exactly she still had a baby.

Speaker 1 8:45

Well, just imagine now she has two babies and I still have a baby, so thank God she has a nanny.

Speaker 5 8:51

It's not like she could just like you're gonna pay all her time Like she has a baby, so she didn't plan that for you.

Speaker 3 8:55

She didn't plan like she didn't plan the nanny out.

Speaker 1 8:57

Well, she just left my, she just actually left my house and she brought her nanny.

Speaker 5 9:00

I was like thank God for her nanny Cause how it went on earth, was I gonna have these?

Speaker 1 9:03

three babies in here I don't know.

Speaker 6 9:05

So it's a lot. It's a lot. My mom and my grandma were pregnant at the same time too. Are you serious?

Speaker 1 9:11

Yeah, so that's kind of similar to me too.

Speaker 6 9:14

It was.

Speaker 1 9:15

My mom, when she was born, had a one year old. Yeah, so my mother was also a team mom. My mom had me very young, so I kind of grew up with my mom and then when my mother had a one year old, she was born. So it was the same thing. My mom was like I can't babysit, really.

Speaker 5 9:29

Yes, and we were like brother. We act like mothers and sisters. Yeah, See, I was not only child.

Speaker 3 9:35

I don't know any of this. I just I didn't even grow up with a cousin.

Speaker 1 9:38

Like you. Yeah, I was only.

Speaker 3 9:41

Yeah.

Speaker 4 9:42

Oh, wow, yeah, like the motherhood piece of it, though, I feel like you guys are not only like mother and daughter, but you're like sisters probably yeah.

Motherhood, Parenting, and Body Image

Speaker 5 9:51

Because you're in a relationship, part of it a lot different I grew up with like we grew up together.

Speaker 1 9:55

I was always kind of like I'm like the cool mom, Like I was always the open book with her, Always told her all my business. She was my little therapist, you know all that. So now that she's an adult it's like we're really close.

Speaker 3 10:06

Tell her all my business. That's what I want with my daughter.

Speaker 1 10:09

But she actually we're like we hang, we like the same stuff, we like the same clothes, music, we hang out with the same places. We actually have a lot of conflict now Cause she's like I always introduce her as my daughter and she gets mad. She's like you're big, big daughter, exactly.

Speaker 3 10:25

Like in what sense it's how she does it Okay. What did she say?

Speaker 5 10:29

Your image. She'll introduce me to her. She's like this is my daughter, this is my daughter. Look at my daughter. Look at her. Look at her. This is Tyena.

Speaker 2 10:40

She says this is Tyena, my daughter.

Speaker 5 10:42

Maybe afterwards. Not, this is my daughter.

Speaker 1 10:46

I can't help it. I can't help it. It's like that's what you are, so it's like what else am I supposed to do?

Speaker 5 10:51

It's like but I just feel like when she does that I feel like a child yeah.

Speaker 1 10:56

And she's an adult.

Speaker 4 10:57

I'm an adult now, yeah.

Speaker 1 10:59

And especially on social media. She says they always associate her with being my daughter and she's like I'm an adult.

Speaker 5 11:04

Yeah, you know, I'm a mom. I have my own name, like I'm Tyena.

Speaker 3 11:08

No but, she's still my daughter. So how did you prepare your daughter Tyena for motherhood? Like did she give you any?

Speaker 1 11:16

names. Let me tell you this girl, since she's been in the kitchen since she was 10 years old cooking, cleaning. She's very domestic. She always knew how to do everything herself. She does her hair, makeup, everything so it was like she was always prepared to be a mom. She used to help me with Jonas and she just has a natural motherly. She's a nurturer, so she didn't need any advice. She was already on the money. But what happened when the baby actually came though.

Speaker 4 11:46

Let me tell you.

Speaker 5 11:49

OK, so all of my mom's children are very calm.

Speaker 3 11:52

Oh, you have my children.

Speaker 5 11:55

So my son, when he came out, it was just like why are you crying? What is happening? Like call me at the good clock in the morning, Like he's crying, We'll be crying together, Me and the baby just crying. I don't know what to do.

Speaker 3 12:13

I drove eight hours to Virginia once because my baby wouldn't be quiet. I didn't know what to do. I drove home to my parents.

Speaker 5 12:18

I would call her in the middle of the night like I don't know what's wrong with him.

Speaker 1 12:21

He had college and he was like I had never experienced it. I didn't even know what to do with it.

Speaker 5 12:25

No, I took him to the doctor. They said he had a behavioral issue A baby, yeah, a baby.

Speaker 1 12:31

They said oh nothing's wrong with you?

Speaker 3 12:32

You never went back to the hospital Did you?

Speaker 1 12:34

No, he really did not. He never went back to that doctor. No, he really did have a behavioral issue.

Speaker 3 12:38

No, how does a baby have a behavioral issue?

Speaker 1 12:43

Mimi, mimi, he did, he did.

Speaker 5 12:45

No, she would call me, I would call my girlfriend, he'd say no wait, let me tell her He'd give her a run for her money.

Speaker 1 12:50

Yeah, she wanted a baby, hey babe. No, I'm like she got the real deal, like he was no joke when he turned four months, he completely changed.

Speaker 5 13:00

He is the most calm baby.

Speaker 1 13:02

And he's so happy.

Speaker 5 13:04

So nice, like I don't know, like it was just like him. Maybe he was in use of the world.

Speaker 1 13:10

I don't know he's like where am I Put me?

Speaker 5 13:13

back in your stomach, oh, no, I got my own baby. He was hard, it was hard. And then my boyfriend he has a son already and his son was nothing like that. Yeah, he's fine. I don't know.

Speaker 6 13:25

I don't know where you are.

Speaker 5 13:27

I don't know how to help you. So we were both just struggling, but it was like for a good three months. But then I got the hang of it and it was like I've never got the hang of it.

Speaker 1 13:37

Exactly, I was like girl. I don't know how you did that. How many months apart are your?

Speaker 3 13:41

kids 11 months and like two weeks I went in month 13 months apart. I didn't succeed.

Speaker 4 13:49

Okay, so how is it having two back to back, like how close are they?

Speaker 5 13:55

They're 11 months and like two weeks apart.

Speaker 3 13:58

That's the dream I wanted that. I wanted that Badly At first.

Speaker 5 14:03

I was scared because I'm like I'm a new mom, I don't know, but you know what? I don't regret it because I couldn't like punk out. Do you get what I'm? Saying Like you know how babies hit like terrible tunes and they're like oh, I'm not having any more kids. I didn't have a choice. You're going to experience both of these. It's like whatever, so I like it. They're going to grow up together and be super close. They're already like super close, even though my son is a bully.

Speaker 1 14:33

It's just a. Thing.

Speaker 3 14:34

I actually had to ask people if my daughter was a bully. I literally asked that on Facebook. I was like my daughter, a bully.

Speaker 1 14:40

He gets close to her, he pulls her hair.

Speaker 5 14:42

And while he'll look at you, he'll go to her. My son pulled out my daughter's whole brain from her scout.

Speaker 6 14:46

That's how boys are. Yeah, when he was a baby.

Speaker 4 14:50

But she's so used to it.

Speaker 5 14:54

She's just like, she's like get him.

Speaker 1 14:56

She gets older, she's not getting back. He does the same thing to mine too. She's like get him, she's older and she's still terrified.

Speaker 6 15:05

So do you guys have any advice or do you guys have any encouragement for anyone a mom who is just getting into motherhood or that's been in it, that could really use some encouragement. Mine it's just, you just have to have a lot of patience.

Speaker 1 15:19

Now there's this whole new thing called gentle parenting. I just saw me when you said I'm trying to have a gentle parent, but my kids ain't gentle. I think you just have to know your children. It's like gentle parents and whatever I mean, that's out the window with mine. You just have to know your kids. You have to have a lot of patience. You're a gentle parent with journey.

Speaker 5 15:46

Oh my God, Okay so now she got it easy. Oh my gosh, she's going to be able to steal her car at 18. Sneak out, she has it easy. Each kid, she gets less, more stern, it's true because, I'm older now.

Speaker 1 16:01

It's like I was first of all. Tyena was not to. You know, she was the most perfect child. She had an attitude, but she never did anything like crazy. I never experienced the crazy teenage stuff. I was tough on her. But now, with my daughter journey, it's just like I don't know. I just don't have it in me to be like rough.

Speaker 4 16:25

I'm older now.

Speaker 1 16:27

I have a lot more patience. I have a lot more patience now as a mom at 17 than I do now at 41. I'm just a different person.

Speaker 5 16:35

Some things my brother said. Sir, if I said that, I would have got the drag Drag.

Speaker 1 16:42

I just learned from my mistakes. I just learned that you don't have to do all that. It's all about communication. Talk to your kids.

Speaker 3 16:50

Are you the mom that you thought you'd be so far?

Speaker 5 16:56

I don't know.

Speaker 3 16:56

What kind of mom did you think you'd be?

Speaker 5 16:59

I thought I was going to be like super like pinkie mouse, pink cakes and all the fruits and all that. I thought I was going to be like that until I had my kid I'm like you know what do you want?

Speaker 3 17:13

Let's do it your way. Well, just so you know, ego's already makes Mickey Mouse shake, exactly.

Speaker 1 17:20

No, she definitely, she definitely. I thought she definitely was going to be one of those like pincers moms.

Speaker 3 17:26

That's the word. It looks cute. I don't know how they do it I have a girlfriend and she's absolutely.

Speaker 1 17:35

Her mothering is perfection, yes, and I look at her bed time at 7.30.

Speaker 5 17:41

How do you do it?

Speaker 3 17:42

Do you think she's really?

Speaker 1 17:44

saying no. Her is by the book.

Speaker 4 17:49

One of the questions we asked, though, in the game is the body thing. So we all were like oh, our body before baby, the body before baby and the body after baby, like when it comes to the before and after.

Speaker 1 17:58

I should definitely talk about that.

Speaker 4 18:01

What's your take on that?

Speaker 5 18:03

Okay, so I really liked my body before, but I took advantage of it because I didn't know.

Speaker 1 18:09

I thought I was fat.

Speaker 2 18:10

I'm like.

Speaker 5 18:11

no, I was skinny abs like it was perfect body.

Speaker 1 18:15

I can't remember, but now, people.

Speaker 5 18:17

They say they like my body. I mean, look at your body.

Speaker 3 18:21

They like my weight on me, but I but you're not used to it.

Speaker 5 18:24

I'm not used to it.

Speaker 4 18:25

Yeah, yeah, so it's hard, yeah you have moments where you're like, okay, I don't want to like, did you? I don't want to be like too skinny.

Speaker 5 18:33

No, I don't ever want to go back to be a super skinny like I was super skinny in my face like I don't like that like. I like my weight in my face, but you know my stomach when my first child that's.

Speaker 1 18:45

I didn't get stretch marks.

Speaker 5 18:46

Yeah, second child, second child. She stretched me out so bad, I'll steal your beauty. She stole it all no, she gave me stretch marks. I was like oh my god yeah and I thought that I wasn't gonna stretch out because I just had a baby. Yeah, I'm thinking. I'm still like elastic. Yeah, no, she stretched me out, yeah you still definitely it's definitely different, but I'm getting used to it. It doesn't like really bothered me like.

Speaker 1 19:17

I don't even know. I was gonna say you were like 16, so you're going through bottom body wasn't even fully developed when I had her yeah, she was the only child that gave me stretch marks. Now they're like not existing what about you?

Speaker 6 19:31

so far I I think I struggled a lot with like everything shifting to different places, yeah, and like not feeling like my most confident, so I'd always used to hide my body in very loose clothing yeah but I'm starting to like really enjoy the weight that I have now. I've been four years in motherhood, so yeah, girl number.

Speaker 1 19:53

I definitely could. I definitely after this fourth child. Like this is the first time and I've had a like a little pouch and yeah, stomach, and you know I'm just embracing it.

Speaker 4 20:01

I got my ankle.

Speaker 1 20:02

Okay, she said I got my ankle, I got my, I don't know, I suck it out real fast, but it's the first time I've had like a stomach. Yeah, and I'm okay with that.

Speaker 3 20:10

It's like whatever yeah, yeah at this point. Well, no, I did. I did smart life. Oh, I got my boobs reduced. I did some things to feel oh, that's another thing.

Speaker 5 20:20

Yeah, I was completely flat chested.

Speaker 3 20:22

Oh, so these are new.

Motherhood and Life's Unexpected Turns

Speaker 5 20:24

These are brand new, yes. Thanks to the babies and I'm like why are they here? Yeah, she hates them.

Speaker 4 20:30

I hate them. She's like a reduction.

Speaker 5 20:32

I'm not used to them. Yeah, and I breastfed for a little bit.

Speaker 3 20:35

I was going to say your babies are still young, so it might yeah, you never know, yeah, sometimes they go away for people, sometimes they stick around. Do you want more? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 5 20:44

I was like a question to ask me right now.

Speaker 4 20:48

She said let me live with this Right.

Speaker 5 20:51

I'm not sure. Yeah, I feel like I have my pair, my boy and my girl yeah, you do, so it's like perfect. That's what I feel.

Speaker 4 20:57

I got one more.

Speaker 5 20:58

Can I ask Did you try for the?

Speaker 3 20:59

girl or you didn't, yeah, I did?

Speaker 1 21:01

I manifested her. I wanted a girl so bad. You know her father. He didn't have a. You know he raised her, of course, but he didn't have a little girl biological daughter. And I always said I wanted four children. My mother, my grandmother, had four kids. My mom had four kids. So I was like you know, I was 39, like I said so it was like it's now or never. So I tried and I got the girl that I wanted, did you?

Speaker 3 21:26

wait to find out, or you found out.

Speaker 1 21:28

Immediately. Oh, you had to know.

Speaker 3 21:30

Right, I waited to find out for both of mine. No.

Speaker 5 21:33

I didn't, I didn't ever feel for my first one, my second one, I was like no, I want to know right now I'm not waiting.

Speaker 1 21:39

Yeah, we knew he was a boy. We knew he was a boy. I was like it's a boy and I knew my second was a girl. Yeah.

Speaker 5 21:45

How'd you know? I don't know, I just knew, I just knew something. I was like no, this is a girl.

Speaker 1 21:52

Yeah, and it was. Oh, my gosh.

Speaker 3 21:55

Now my nephew. When I was pregnant with my first, we all thought it was a boy, because we only have boys in our family and my nephew walked up to me he was probably like three or four and he said you're having a girl, I can see her. And that freaked me out.

Speaker 2 22:05

And she ended up being a girl.

Speaker 4 22:07

It was really creepy, oh wow, but you know, prophetic yeah, but You've said a couple of times like all I know is being a mom, like I don't know what it was before, but like now that you're a mom and you've had your kids, like do you have plans for what your life is going to look like? Like you know what I'm saying. Like after like these it never ends.

Speaker 3 22:27

It never ends. It's not 18 years.

Speaker 1 22:29

Yeah, my daughter's not even two years.

Speaker 4 22:30

You know how some people like they kind of wait, they feel like they have to wait to like do more with their lives. Like we hear it all the time Like, oh, I have kids, so I got to like only be a mom. Like, do you ever? Do you either one of you ever feel that pressure or you're like no, I'm going to still live my life.

Speaker 1 22:46

I feel like you know. You have to know how to juggle.

Speaker 4 22:49

You know what?

Speaker 1 22:50

I mean, but, like I said, this is the first time where I don't have help. Yeah, I need to get some help.

Speaker 3 22:56

I was going to say what made you decide that. Because I need help, Because I was just Well, I mean to be completely transparent.

Speaker 1 23:04

I had a nanny for since she was like 10 years old and she had a stroke, so I had her for 13 years and she had a stroke and it completely changed my life because I realized like you had help girl.

Speaker 5 23:15

Yeah.

Speaker 1 23:16

So this is the first time. You know, when I had journey was like you know what I could do? This, this is my. You know it's fine and I've been doing just fine.

Speaker 5 23:24

Oh, god bless you, I didn't have an nanny my first year of parenting.

Speaker 1 23:28

Yeah, she just got one after the baby.

Speaker 5 23:30

I got one literally right when I had her.

Speaker 1 23:34

Yeah.

Speaker 5 23:35

Because I was like, no, I need help, my son is a mama's boy.

Speaker 3 23:38

Yeah.

Speaker 5 23:39

Like I would have been struggling.

Speaker 3 23:42

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 5 23:43

Still like. Anytime I pick her up, pick her up. He's like I want some attention too, Like pick me up and it's just hard. So, but my first year of parenting I was. It was just me, yeah, and my mother-in-law will help me. God bless you. Yeah, that's it.

Speaker 4 23:59

Did you ever feel like your friendships changed at all once your motherhood, like when you were in the, or do you feel like I didn't really miss the friendship pieces?

Speaker 3 24:06

You already got the answers. You already got the answers Look at your face.

Speaker 5 24:11

None of my friends, well, none of well. My best friend she has two kids but she lives in New York, Okay, but all of my friends here in LA, none of them have friends.

Speaker 2 24:20

I mean none of them have babies, yeah.

Speaker 5 24:22

And they're free. They get to do whatever they want dinner. I went through a really tough time when I had my son because they wasn't inviting me anyway.

Speaker 3 24:32

Oh, that's the worst, but they didn't understand.

Speaker 5 24:34

They're like well, you have a baby, I can't invite you anywhere. You just had a baby, but I still want to invite him, yeah. So I was like yes. I'm just saying just saying no, you should still invite me. So that was like really tough, like I would get into it and I'll be like you don't come and see my son as much. That was like a thing with me, but now they're used to it.

Speaker 3 24:56

So it's like I was going to say also technically, like what year was he born? You had like a baby born in the pandemic.

Speaker 5 25:02

Yeah, kind of at the end of the pandemic, yeah.

Speaker 3 25:05

It was at the end.

Speaker 5 25:07

It was not deep into it.

Speaker 1 25:08

Okay, yeah.

Speaker 3 25:09

People were still coming through they just weren't coming Well for me.

Speaker 1 25:13

Having a child as a teen. You know I got to miss all the. You know everything. Oh my God, parties proms everything Hanging out with your friends. I never really got. I got kind of rushed into being an adult. So, yeah, my life started after.

Speaker 3 25:27

I had her Best thing. Yeah, not in a way like that, you wouldn't have her. But what do you think your life would be like if you had? It oh my God, I don't even know.

Speaker 1 25:35

Yeah, I have none. I have and have done everything.

Speaker 3 25:41

See, that's why you're her baby, see, right.

Speaker 1 25:44

Like I always like hustled and I always was like you know, this girl I never want for anything, so it's like I always had to make sure that I you know, I gave to her, so she was always my motivation. So I don't know what life would have been like.

Speaker 3 25:58

Yeah.

Speaker 1 25:59

I don't know where it would be yeah, wow, best thing that ever happened to me. Oh, so cute.

Speaker 6 26:05

No no, no.

Speaker 1 26:06

I mean I planned her, like as a teenage I planned her. That's a whole nother story.

Speaker 3 26:10

She's like you know when you're 16, you think you're grown?

Speaker 1 26:13

Yeah, I mean well my mom had. I was like I know. My mom had like a two year old and a one year old and I was like slave in the house, Like my mom's going to kill me for saying this, but I was like always like cooking and cleaning my mom's work full time and I was like, why, so I have my own?

Speaker 3 26:30

baby.

Speaker 1 26:31

That's what you said. Yes, so bad.

Celebrating Motherhood and Friendship

Speaker 4 26:32

That's supposed to be the motivation not to happen.

Speaker 1 26:35

It's so bad, but I had a boyfriend at the time.

Speaker 4 26:37

And you got to love too.

Speaker 1 26:39

I was like I could do this and I literally planned it and I had her. That's how it goes. And I had yeah my mother was always like you better not get pregnant. Because, my mom was a teen mama's girl.

Speaker 5 26:49

She was like, if you get pregnant, you got to get out of here.

Speaker 1 26:52

I was like, oh, that's all I got to do. Oh my god, no, oh my god, I swear, I swear it's horrible. I was like, oh, so if I get pregnant and I have a baby, I get to leave.

Speaker 3 27:03

With the baby, With the baby. No, I got pregnant.

Speaker 1 27:05

My mom said you ain't going nowhere and I was like, oh god, backfired on me.

Speaker 3 27:11

See, at least you were spoiled with a calm chill baby. See how the baby they were, like your baby's, so alert and I was so excited to hear that Because I felt like that meant my baby was smart and I just realized that meant my baby was going to cause me lots of issues.

Speaker 2 27:24

Oh my god.

Speaker 3 27:25

Give me a sleepy, calm baby.

Speaker 1 27:27

Yeah, she was definitely always a motivation for me, so I don't know what life would have been like yeah, she's always been there.

Speaker 4 27:34

That's so cute. You guys have been a joy to be with. I'm really excited that you guys were able to join us for our very last episode. What a way to close it out. I know you don't like it, but this month I'm going to get you. You guys no, seriously, it's really nice Because I know for me I have a daughter, two daughters, and I always think I want my baby, my daughters, when they grow up, to always want to hang out with me want to be friends and all of that stuff, because it is.

Speaker 4 28:03

I don't understand why people are like I don't want to be friends with my kid. I do, I do, I do. Yes, there's going to be a certain amount of parenting and I'm going to raise them well and all of that, but I absolutely want to be friends with my daughters. So, this is so amazing to see. It's not always that friendly. Do y'all argue oh my god, a lot you want to see, that's part of friendship.

Speaker 3 28:26

Yeah, that's like. That means someone's being honest.

Speaker 5 28:28

Yes, yes, but we get along too, yeah.

Speaker 1 28:31

Yeah.

Speaker 5 28:31

That's the thing.

Speaker 1 28:32

For the most part, yeah, yeah, it's a good balance.

Speaker 4 28:35

Yeah, it's a good balance. Yeah Well, thank you guys. So much for joining us at Moms Actually, where motherhood meets sisterhood. We appreciate you and we will see you next year.

Speaker 2 28:48

Bye, that's good, hey Mom, what's up? Hey Mom, what's up? Hey Mom? What's up, hey Mom? What's up? Hey Mom? What's up, hey Mom? What's up? Hey Mom? What's up? Hey Mom, what's up, hey Mom? What's up? Hey Mom, what's up? Hey Mom, what's up, hey Mom? Thank you.