How Can Motherhood Change Your Life Ft. Lizzy Mathis

In this episode, we explore motherhood and its challenges with our guest is Lizzy Mathis, host of The Cool Mom Podcast and host of the TV show Honest Renovations with Jessica Alba.

We discuss:

• How motherhood shows us how to value ourselves
• How we become like our parents
• Ups and downs of motherhood
• Miscarriage experiences 
• Changing the societal norms and the role of community
• Guilt and healing in parenthood
• Normalizing healthy black love and black families 
• Creating supportive environments for ourselves and our kids

We also discuss a big question: Would you rather have lunch with Oprah or a million dollars?

This episode is for mothers questioning their worth or choices. Remember, by being yourself, you can inspire others to get to the other side of what they are fighting.

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Transcript

Motherhood, Doulas, Turning Into Our Mothers

Speaker 1 0:00

I walk into my kids room like, uh-uh, this is not going down like this. And now I'm like, oh, that's a cheat name.

Speaker 3 0:08

What's up? What's up, hey Mom, what's up? Hey Mom, what's up? Hey Mom, what's up? Hey Mom, what's up? Welcome back to Moms, actually, where Moms go to find themselves my name is Morgan and I am Blair and we have our lovely guest.

Speaker 2 0:23

I'm Lizzie.

Speaker 3 0:23

Yes, yes, do you want to be with people who you are like bragging with yourself a bit Sure.

Speaker 1 0:28

I'm Lizzie Mathis. I am a host. I have a podcast called the Cool Mom Code podcast. I have a website called thecoolmomco. I have a TV show, honest Renovations. I'm an executive producer co-creator. So you know I got a couple things going on.

Speaker 3 0:44

Come on, run down the list. We love to see it. Well, welcome back to our show. We are so excited to have Lizzie and just take a minute first of all, before we get into the conversation, to subscribe, please, we'll wait.

Speaker 2 0:59

Okay, great, all right, so let's get started with our little game. It's giving motherhood. If you've watched before, you know it's about to happen, but we're going to introduce it to you really quick. So we have a little icebreaker so you can get to know us a little bit more and we can get to know you.

Speaker 1 1:15

This is what the paddles are for.

Speaker 2 1:16

The gold means yes or it means, or it's the first answer. The white side means no or the second answer option that we give you.

Speaker 1 1:26

Okay, Are we all answering these questions? Yeah, we're all answering it. We're all going to just go to the side. No, we're just going to sit here and judge.

Speaker 3 1:31

You're going to be like you're not no, no, no, no, I'm going to actually be in a collection.

Speaker 1 1:35

Okay, okay, I'm good, whatever y'all do.

Speaker 2 1:36

I'm going to follow the lead. Okay, okay. So the first question is would you rather five months of maternity leave or a postpartum doula? I'm going for the doula, You're going for the doula. I'm going for the doula all day.

Speaker 1 1:48

What'd you want?

Speaker 2 1:51

I mean, I work from home for myself, so I guess the doula Okay. So but wait, wait, wait, wait. How long can the doula stay?

Speaker 1 2:01

Yeah, that's a good question. How long is the doula, therefore? I mean, can I do three months? Wow, yes, you can.

Speaker 3 2:10

If you want to Sure.

Speaker 2 2:11

How long would you have the doula there?

Speaker 1 2:14

I mean I would do it, I don't know. See, I didn't.

Speaker 2 2:16

I don't know because I don't like people in my space like that.

Speaker 1 2:20

I don't mind the doula there for the process of labor and like having the baby, and then maybe like you know, come check in on me like a couple days after, but then I'm good after that.

Speaker 2 2:29

I think it depends on what the doula's doing and you can give them like different tasks. Like I thought, I wouldn't want my mom at the house after I had my kid, but then I'm like no, come, because she was doing laundry and because I'm like. I don't need help with this part, but you can go, do all the like secret elf stuff around the house.

Speaker 3 2:43

Just switch the tasks Like month one these are your responsibilities. Month two this is what I need you to do. But is that still a doula? Yeah?

Speaker 2 2:51

They'll do the baby laundry and stuff, like they'll do stuff for the kids. I want someone to take care of me.

Speaker 1 2:56

I mean, that's when your mom comes.

Speaker 3 2:58

But there are people, there are doulas that take care of the mom.

Speaker 1 3:01

Yes, that's what I like. I think, I like the doulas that take care of me, because you know, the whole theory with you have babies is like I want to be, like I want to take care of the baby, I want to nurture the baby, but who's taking care of me Exactly?

Speaker 3 3:14

Because, after you have the baby. No one thinks about you. No, Not at all.

Speaker 2 3:17

I think that's half the reason I got pregnant the second time. I was like you were so nice to me.

Speaker 3 3:21

I miss it Okay. Do you see yourself turning into your mom in certain areas? As you raise your kids or either be disciplined, strict schedule, routine, encouragement Do you see yourself turning into your mom? Are you your mama? Yes, yes, yes. I catch myself saying certain things. I'm like oh my gosh, I sound just like Crystal For real. Yes, I was like who's Crystal? Yeah, I was like, oh, I mean, get it Crystal.

Speaker 1 3:45

Yes, hey, ma I think it's natural, yeah, I think it's natural.

Speaker 2 3:50

I think you realize you understand your parents a lot more.

Speaker 3 3:53

Oh, yeah, oh my.

Speaker 1 3:54

God, I remember calling my mama and being like mama. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry to do this.

Speaker 3 3:58

I went her help, tell her how I saw the thing on.

Speaker 2 4:01

Instagram where they said I finally get why my parents were so upset with me when I didn't take the chicken out the freezer. Oh, absolutely, I'm like. I get it. I didn't think it was a big deal back then, but now I'm like.

Speaker 1 4:10

My room was a mess.

Speaker 3 4:12

And now I understand the full capability.

Speaker 1 4:13

I've been like I walk into my kids room like uh-uh, this is not going down like this, and now I'm like oh, that's what she meant.

Speaker 3 4:19

That's what she meant.

Speaker 1 4:20

And you know I get it OK.

Speaker 2 4:23

Ooh, would you rather have?

Speaker 1 4:25

lunch with.

Speaker 2 4:26

Oprah, or have $1 million magically appear in your bank account.

Speaker 1 4:31

Which one? What's the second one?

Speaker 2 4:33

The $1 million appearing. I love.

Speaker 1 4:34

Oprah. I mean I love Oprah, but I mean I could do more. I feel like I could still need.

Speaker 2 4:40

Oprah. I feel like I could pay for Oprah's time once I got the $1 million.

Speaker 1 4:44

No, you can't do that. That's not the only one. Oh, it doesn't count.

Speaker 3 4:48

No, oprah doesn't do that.

Speaker 2 4:49

No, I have to choose. Here's the thing. Oprah doesn't do that.

Speaker 3 4:51

Here's what I was saying I would take the $1 million, invest it to get you know, like get the book do the thing. That's beautiful.

Speaker 1 4:58

So you can make Oprah's book so that Oprah now is like she cares about you now she cares about you now. That's right. Boom, do the $1 million increase the bank to get where you need to be.

Speaker 2 5:08

Yeah, I would get the $1 million, because I wouldn't. I'd probably talk about the dumbest stuff.

Speaker 1 5:11

I'd be like hey girl, hey girl, hey girl. I love your dress, You're good, Like you're dope You're so dope and I'm like.

Speaker 2 5:22

I'm not exactly the same. I'm like no, no.

Speaker 3 5:25

Exactly.

Speaker 1 5:25

Exactly she was like and that was a great match, that was so good yeah.

Speaker 3 5:29

Is your. If your daughter asked for a tattoo or nose piercing at 16, are you?

Speaker 1 5:34

taking her. I would do. I'm not big on her getting tattoos, but I would do a nose piercing.

Speaker 2 5:40

OK, I'd say no to the tattoo and gold to the nose piercing, because I got a tattoo illegally at 16. And I wasn't the same person at 20 as I was at 16. I wasn't the same person as 25. So now I have this big thing on my arm. That's my tattoo removal, because it's something I did at 16.

Speaker 1 6:00

Put it in a frame.

Speaker 2 6:01

Love it for 10 years and then put it on your body, if you really need it there.

Speaker 1 6:05

But now you have the experience to tell a story. Oh yes, that's the beauty in it. I had to go through it, but you know well, they make them tiny. Now I was going to say people can get marks on their noses.

Speaker 2 6:14

So you see, yeah, hey, I talked so tiny.

Speaker 1 6:16

I mean, you have a tiny little one in this too. I do and I think also why I said no to the piercing, because I kind of want one even now.

Speaker 2 6:22

Oh, but do it together, you can get it.

Speaker 3 6:24

You can get it. Yes, you have the nose for it. Yes, I don't know.

Speaker 1 6:28

You do. No, you do Absolutely. Ok, cool, I'll take it. I'll take it all day, wait. Did you answer?

Speaker 3 6:32

No, I would not, you would Neither of them. No, not at 16. I think, because 16, we just think we know what we want.

Speaker 1 6:41

And we don't.

Speaker 3 6:42

And so I would, even though it would be cool to say, yeah, me and my daughter went together.

Speaker 2 6:46

But then you went up with the 16 year old like me that gets my co-worker's ID and shows up at a tattoo shop. I would hope that.

Speaker 3 6:52

Leila or Zoe, you would know better.

Speaker 1 6:55

Yeah. Why does it have to be one or the other? Why does it have to be? You say no, and then, if not, they just going to rebel.

Speaker 2 7:00

Because that's what happens, it happens. It happens, but my hope and prayer is going to rebel.

Speaker 3 7:06

The first thing I did when I went to college is get my tongue pierced.

Speaker 2 7:08

Yeah, wow, because I wasn't allowed to do anything. Well, tell me you were that one and see, that's the thing.

Speaker 1 7:15

I'm not rigid. I'm not that rigid.

Speaker 3 7:17

And I always give my kids the reason why I say no. So I think they were respected. And then I also give them what to look forward to. Like all right. How about we wait when you turn 18? If you still want this, we're going together. I hated the tattoo.

Speaker 2 7:31

I got it I like that idea. I regret that tattoo.

Speaker 1 7:34

Yeah, yeah, If your kids. Maybe. If you have a good relation with your kids and you feel like they listen to you in other ways, then perhaps yeah.

Speaker 2 7:41

Yeah, I like it. Well, check in in 10 years. I'll take all that.

Speaker 3 7:45

We'll check you out. I know I have five. What? Five years I was like, oh no. I was going to say I'm like, who are the other two kids? I have five years guys, god Jesus.

Speaker 2 7:58

We got one more question right. Yes, One more. Do you feel like we actually have the power to change the way motherhood is viewed around the world or in the US?

Speaker 3 8:08

Let's do this. Yeah, yeah, yes, of course, absolutely. That's why we're here.

Speaker 1 8:11

Yeah, I mean, I think we have the power to change a lot of things, you know, as women, as Black women, as leaders, as thinkers. I mean we have the power to change a lot not just the way motherhood is viewed, but the way we are viewed as a people.

Balancing Motherhood and Pursuing Dreams

Speaker 2 8:27

Yeah, yes, absolutely. So why do you think a lot hasn't changed? So I feel like my favorite things to do is to say like the feminism movement happened and so everybody got jobs, and then we still have to do all the woman stuff.

Speaker 1 8:41

Well, listen, I mean, I think it takes generations for thought process of people to change. Because, it can't just be black people it has to be all people and so for you to integrate a different thought process into all people, it takes time. You know, but do I see a change? Yes, do I see a difference between my grandmother's era and our era, 1,000%. Do I see it between even my mom and what she thought her limitations were, as opposed to what I think mine are?

Speaker 1 9:14

Yes, 1,000%, so I see a change and do I see how my daughters think as opposed to how I even think there's a big change. There's no limitations on them. The sky, I mean, is literally the limit for them.

Speaker 2 9:27

That's so true.

Speaker 1 9:28

The world of social media. The internet has opened up all new possibilities to what they can achieve, and it's just different now.

Speaker 3 9:36

Speaking of achieving things. How have you found yourself? Have you ever found yourself pushing aside your passions or motherhood?

Speaker 1 9:45

Yeah, I did in the very beginning of motherhood. It was a lesson I think I had to learn early on. When I first had my oldest, I think, I leaned all in on motherhood. It was the only thing that I cared about. It was the only thing that I was focused on. I paused on everything else, and before that I was traveling three, four times a week.

Speaker 1 10:09

I was on a straight grind, a hustle. I was doing so many different things and when I miscarried before I had a healthy, my healthy daughter, and so I think that shifted something in me. So by the time I got my child, my first born, I was all in I was like no nothing else mattered Everything.

Speaker 1 10:28

My time is important. I'm going to focus in on her, and so it did. I had to learn that lesson, though, and so it took me about I want to say almost like two years that I was all in on her, and then it took friends to be like. No, lizzie.

Speaker 3 10:42

Where's that?

Speaker 1 10:42

Like what's going on. You're not shaving. You're on some old like oh, you were on the like I went on, some old like I am like Earth Mother.

Speaker 3 10:51

Oh, you were like a crunchy mom I was just like in my stuff. Yeah, I don't know if I can curse.

Speaker 1 10:56

But, I was in that zone and I needed that for that time period of my life and once that was over, it was like all right, my kids are good, I love them and I can still be functioning and all the things, yeah. Exactly.

Speaker 3 11:09

I think two things. One, it's important for the fact that you leaned into it Like you leaned into that season, you were like you know what All these things are going to be here, because look at you now.

Speaker 1 11:19

You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 11:20

All those things are going to be here. My kids need me. I want to lean in and I'm going to do that. But then the importance of a community, because your community was like OK, girl, we see you. Right, you're a good mom. All right, now let's shave, that's right. Let's do your hair, let's get it together. Like she dropped the maintenance yeah, I was just like I think I was just.

Speaker 1 11:40

I just didn't, it wasn't important. Just at that moment it wasn't important. Other things mattered more and I was just in this whole like you know what I love her. This is what we're doing, what's best for her. Up we're eating avocados today. I'm cooking everything we're steaming this. And breast milk we're breastfeeding. It was all of that and I leaned so far in that I think I lost a little bit of me, as much as I was enjoying it. I lost a little bit of me and I had to find me again.

Speaker 1 12:09

And so that took a second.

Speaker 2 12:10

Do you think you would have been like that if you hadn't miscarried?

Speaker 1 12:15

No, I can't see myself necessarily being like that if I hadn't, but I treasured it so much and it was like I wanted this phase so much and so in that process that's just kind of how it's done Did you get a guilt response.

Speaker 2 12:31

That's what I was going to ask. I miscarried my first child, but I remember when I found out I was pregnant, it was right after getting married and I was like didn't really want to be pregnant. My birth control failed because I took antibiotics and so I was like eating whatever I'm like you know whatever, you can do whatever and then I miscarried. It had nothing to do with that, Right.

Speaker 2 12:48

But I found out a little bit later, but I felt so guilty and I was like man, I didn't appreciate it, I wasn't happy. So then it's like the next time. It's like you overcompensate for that.

Speaker 1 12:59

Yeah, you know, I don't know if it was guilt. Ok, I don't know if it was guilt, but I remember when I miscarried, I called my grandmother. And I was like devastated. I was like I don't know what happened. I don't know what happened and I remember she said to me Lizzie, things happen, you're healthy, you're strong, you come from good stock.

Speaker 3 13:19

I love that I'll never forget that.

Speaker 2 13:22

She said you're going to have a baby.

Speaker 1 13:23

You are going to go on to have many healthy babies and for some reason, I think it's just the grandparent or whatever it is. I believe there. And so that was it, and I said okay and I moved forward.

Speaker 3 13:37

You moved forward, okay.

Speaker 1 13:39

I don't know if it was guilt, but I think it was just what I needed. It was what my soul needed yeah.

Speaker 2 13:44

That makes sense. Yeah, you went all in and so now you were like, okay, it's Lizzie time, that's right.

Speaker 3 13:51

And Lizzie has been doing the thing, yeah.

Speaker 1 13:54

So about a second and third baby came around. I was like y'all rolling away. Let's make it ourselves, y'all in this moment now.

Speaker 3 14:01

Yes, and how do you do that, like, how is Lizzie going after her wildest dreams amongst motherhood?

Speaker 1 14:06

Yeah, you know, I think that motherhood has enhanced who I am so much. I love that, you know. It has not stopped me. It really has brought out qualities in me that I didn't even know existed before motherhood, and I think that's the best I can say just because of it. I know isn't an option, my time is important, there's nothing to hold me back, there's reasons to push me forward, and so, and they are that, and so there is no like, it's just like, let's figure it out, let's do it, like okay, what's the issue? All right, now let's solve that. All right, cool, that's solved, now we're going. So if you have a mind frame and if you keep with that mind frame over and over and over again, then now your routine is that your routine is not to second guess and to doubt yourself and to say oh no, okay, well, I'm just going to be here for a second.

Speaker 1 14:55

Okay, well, I'm just going to chill over here. Okay, we'll never mind. Your routine now becomes okay. Now what?

Speaker 2 15:00

And so, if that's, your mindset.

Speaker 1 15:01

That's what you are now training yourself to do. I'm on with the motivation.

Speaker 2 15:08

So when you're like friends shook you out and got you to shave, or what have you, did you already?

Speaker 3 15:13

have that.

Speaker 1 15:14

We got to bring it back I feel like my husband. We got to do that.

Speaker 3 15:16

We're going to let nothing go Every time we talk, every time we talk, I'm going to be touching me. She's going to be shaking, girl. They're shaking, they're shaking.

Speaker 1 15:23

Okay, I'm just checking in on the friends.

Speaker 2 15:24

So I got you back. So when they like got you together, like you have that mindset now, but is that the mindset that got you going? Or like what got you from? Because your friends could our friends have told us stuff and we sometimes stay where we are. They told her shame to. I don't know, I don't know. But, it's like how do you like get from there, like actually get to that mindset?

Speaker 1 15:50

You know I think that I had to rethink how I wanted to use my time. So, yes, girlfriends come in and they're like yo, like what's up, Like what's happening, let's figure this out. And it took that and I was like oh you know what? You're absolutely right Like let's go do something. And let's just do something, just me and my friends. And you know, let's leave the baby here with husband and family or whatever. And that's you know. So it's that versus becomes like all right, let's, let's figure out what steps that we lost.

Speaker 2 16:15

Right. Where is that?

Speaker 1 16:17

So first I figured out that, and then from there it's like all right now, what does this new world look like? Because you, this is a new world for you right.

Speaker 1 16:24

Like motherhood, this journey. No two journeys are the same, not even as a mother. No, two children are the same. So it's like, okay now, so what does this look like? Life with baby is different. So now we're figuring that out, and then I had to figure out what worked, look like for me and what I wanted it to be. And then that was the journey. And so once I figured out that, and I figured out the sight and figured out that I wanted to be a voice, and I figured out there was a void, because everywhere me and my husband went, there was like we were the pink elephant in the room with this baby.

Speaker 1 17:00

And no one. At the time. It wasn't cool yet to be a mother, so it was like this whole time. And then we were also a black family, and so my husband is a model and so he's very handsome and we'd walk in this room and people would just be like who, what?

Speaker 3 17:16

the hell. Yeah, like OK, y'all are married.

Speaker 1 17:19

Yeah.

Speaker 2 17:20

And.

Speaker 1 17:20

I'm like yes, we're married and we're happy and there's so it was like that, and so then it became OK. Why are we an elephant in the room?

Speaker 2 17:28

And why?

Speaker 1 17:28

are we? Why is the Hux DeVos the only family that's shown? As black love, yeah, and so then, we started to move through that and I was like, ok, so I started the site.

Speaker 2 17:38

And then from there I was going to ask does that help.

Finding Your Passion and Embracing Motherhood

Speaker 3 17:40

Cool mom, and that's how it came about that Right, wow. What would you say to someone you talked about looking for the missteps or the missing pieces? What is the first step for a mom who's like, ok, no, I'm right where you were, lizzie, I literally poured my all into my children, but I do feel like it's time for me to take the first step. What would you say to that mother? That is ready.

Speaker 1 18:06

I think the first thing you have to do is and I know this is so cliche and I hate to be the person to also reiterate it you have to find what your passion is, and I think it's the hardest thing to tell someone, because it's almost like you know, it's like an athlete right, like they know they love football.

Speaker 2 18:26

They know, they love basketball.

Speaker 1 18:27

It's like my husband used to play football. He's like yeah, I just always love football.

Speaker 2 18:30

I don't want to pass my passion. I've always loved sports.

Speaker 1 18:33

And so for me, I don't know. You have to figure out what that passion is, what brings you the most joy when you're doing it and for me, it was cooking brought me joy.

Speaker 3 18:42

Thank you, you know, you know right, I love it I love it.

Speaker 1 18:46

It just felt like it was in a zone that everyone did it. And I love speaking yes, it's a moment, a moment.

Speaker 3 18:53

I'm not in the kitchen right now, not every night, not every night.

Speaker 2 18:56

Sometimes you've got to cook and go, yeah, well, it's not when it becomes like a job.

Speaker 1 18:59

Like you know it's like it's hard as a job, yeah, but so I think it was that and it was finding what brought me joy.

Speaker 2 19:04

What are the?

Speaker 1 19:05

moments that I really started to feel like oh, I'm happy when I'm doing this, yeah, and I think it's that. And so finding your passion is very hard, but I think you start by just saying OK, when do I smile the most?

Speaker 3 19:15

OK, when do?

Speaker 1 19:16

I feel that little like oh, this feels good the most.

Speaker 3 19:19

I think too, not being afraid to try the things and not like it or fail at it, because I think we all, because we want so hard and so we just want to do right in all the things that we're like. Well, what if this goes completely wrong? Or you know what if I tell my friends and family that I'm getting ready to start this new venture and then it goes south.

Speaker 1 19:41

That's right, you know what I'm saying. You can't tell anybody your goals. Yeah, that's right. I know that's hard, but you know also what's for me is saying yes, yeah. So I would start to say yes. People would ask me things and I was like yes, I'll go, yes, I'll do that.

Speaker 3 19:53

Yeah.

Speaker 1 19:54

Yes, I'll collaborate on that. Yes, I'll do this. And it's like I started just slowly to say yes instead of saying no, and that opened up things as well.

Speaker 3 20:03

Is that how you winded up? Well, we thank you for your yes here.

Speaker 2 20:05

That's right Because, wow, you just never know. Is that how you ended up going into business with a friend? Because you know some people are like don't go into business with your friends. I know.

Speaker 1 20:13

Now, that journey was an interesting one, I mean it was.

Speaker 2 20:16

It's Jess, right, yes, so.

Speaker 1 20:17

Jess and I have been. We were friends. We met through our kids and so we met in preschool with our children and they were friends. And so we became friends. And, you know, we started like we knew we were on a similar wavelength. We knew that we had similar ethos. We both, you know, champion women, champion mothers Like that was big for us. And so we knew we wanted to do something. We just never quite could figure it out. And then COVID hit. And then COVID hit. We were both busy, you know, doing our things, yada, yada, yada, and we just didn't have time. Yeah, we were just like we don't have time to figure this out, yeah, and then COVID hit. Yeah, and so when COVID hit, we immediately put up a together like a little shack kind of, you know, content house. We started shooting a lot of different types of content, one of them being renovations and like OK, things and stuff like that. And then we were like yo, let's see how we can make this something bigger.

Speaker 1 21:17

And make a shake, yeah, make a shake. Yeah, it shook, and it shook, it shook, it shook.

Speaker 2 21:22

Love it. There you go. It shook, so we're happy about that. That's really good. Is there anything that you are like unapologetically proud of in your life, like business-wise and mother-wise, like, yeah, you don't care what it affects, but you're like?

Speaker 1 21:38

I think I'm just unapologetically proud of the skin I'm in now. You know it took me a while to get here, although I feel like I've always been a confident person on the inside, like I've always appreciated who I was and I never compared myself or ran with people for just because I'm, my mom raised a confident woman and I'm proud of that, and so the journey that I've had to get to where I am right now has been a long one, but I'm proud and unapologetically proud of who I am and where I stand today, and can't nobody shake that.

Speaker 2 22:17

And how did you get to the proud? I say because it was instilled in you as a child. But it's like, yeah, it's just it's instilled as a child.

Speaker 1 22:25

Yes, like I come from, I come from strong stuff.

Speaker 2 22:28

Like my mother was strong. You know what I mean, and my grandmother was strong.

Speaker 1 22:32

But you know, there's a journey that you you have to take to get to where you are, and I think I am now coming into the realization that I'm I'm OK with my journey. You know, what I mean, whereas you know if there was other moments of life that I would feel was this the right step. Was this the right move? Should I have stayed there?

Speaker 2 22:54

Should I have done this instead.

Speaker 1 22:55

You know that kind of thing. Now I'm in a phase where, look, everything has led me to this moment.

Speaker 2 23:00

Yeah, and this moment is exactly where I'm supposed to be. You're like, even if I get it wrong, it's going to get yeah, and that's the beauty in it.

Speaker 1 23:07

There is no wrong.

Speaker 2 23:09

The wrongs are all lessons, right? Yeah, there is no wrong.

Speaker 1 23:12

You make the best choice you can at the time you make it. And then from there, you just keep moving forward.

Speaker 3 23:18

Makes sense. Yeah, what do you think moms actually need to hear?

Speaker 1 23:24

Hmm, moms actually need to hear. This is a good one. I think moms actually need to hear that they are loved. They are loved, they are valued, they are important. I mean, if you really think about it, and I think that this hit me like a lightning bolt when I had kids without mothers where are we all Right? Like we are critical.

Speaker 2 23:54

Is it show Literally being yes Of the science.

Speaker 1 23:58

Yes, like we are creators, you know and. God has given us that free. I mean that right and that gift.

Speaker 3 24:05

Yes.

Speaker 1 24:06

You know and so for us. I just feel like moms actually need to hear that you know you are the rock of it all and it doesn't mean that you always have to be strong. It doesn't mean that you can't break down and be vulnerable and be sensitive. It does not mean that. It just means that you are so important and you are such a gift and because of that walk in your life always.

Speaker 3 24:27

Wow, man, I mean that's, that's the way to go, it's good, you're positive.

Speaker 1 24:33

You can like like Photoshop lights just like a beam of light around you, because you know why you have to walk in light.

Speaker 2 24:39

I mean you really do.

Speaker 1 24:40

There's so much in this world that can bring you down. And there's so many people who want to take that light from you. You do, and if you don't surround yourself with them, you block them out, you don't manifest them into your world. And I don't, I don't manifest any of it into my world. And so, if you see me, I'm going all. I'm going to instantly love you until you tell me that I shouldn't, until you pull me. Otherwise, yeah, you'll see nothing but love from me, and that's just how I like to live.

Speaker 1 25:03

Yeah, you know I treat everyone like that. And I think there's something to it. You just have to walk in light, because that's what you will bring to yourself, and that's why I teach my kids.

Speaker 3 25:11

And I just hope it sticks I have to and we all, you guys, come a good stop. Well, we hope that you guys have enjoyed this. I think that really, you have honestly inspired me to continue to not second guess myself, because that's really what it sounds like. It's just making sure that we are really like standing in our decisions, standing in our moment and being present in that and just being proud.

Speaker 2 25:36

That's right, you can't get it wrong. You can't get it wrong, so just keep going, you guys hear that you cannot get it wrong.

Speaker 3 25:42

Yes, for all the moms out there that are literally second guessing their choices, second guessing their parenting. You know all of the things. Whether you're a good wife or not, you are that and walk in light and walk in love. Hey, what's up?