Who Are You Without the Uniform? - Oakland McCulloch

Some careers do more than give you a job. They give you structure, identity, mission, and a sense of belonging. For retired Lieutenant Colonel Oak McCulloch, leaving the Army meant more than stepping away from a role. It meant learning who he was without the uniform.

In this conversation, Brian talks with Oak about his transition out of military service, the grief of leaving behind a deeply rooted identity, and the surprise of entering civilian leadership spaces where mission, urgency, and communication were understood very differently. Oak shares how he moved from the Army into service-oriented work at a food bank, then into leadership development, keynote speaking, and helping organizations build stronger leaders.

This episode is for anyone who has felt loyal to a system that no longer fits, anyone rebuilding purpose after a major career shift, and anyone asking, “Who am I without this title?” Oak’s story is a reminder that service does not have to end when one chapter closes. Sometimes it becomes more personal, more deliberate, and more human.

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LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/oakland-mcculloch/

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Transcript

Oakland McCulloch 0:03

You have to have your values that you will not violate or compromise. And if that organization no longer allows you to live within your values, then it's time for you to leave. The thing that I probably overestimated was that rank, that reputation would follow me. People don't care what you did in the military. As a retired officer, retired soldier, I can wear my uniform when I want. And I certainly did on special occasions. But that was such a huge part of my identity: getting up every morning, putting that uniform on, and going to work. And so that hurt not doing that anymore.

Brian Aquart 0:40

Welcome to Why I Left, a podcast exploring life-changing career moves. I'm your host, Brian Aquart. Join me as I chronicle real stories from real people about the bold decisions that transform their careers and lives. Let's dive in. Hello, and thanks for tuning in to this episode of Why I Left. There are some careers you don't just leave, you outgrow them. And then you have to figure out who you are without the structure that initially shaped you. For a lot of people, the hardest part isn't walking away from a job. It's walking away from a version of yourself you worked years to earn the title, the rank, the mission, the camaraderie, the built-in sense of meaning. Today's episode featuring retired lieutenant colonel Oakland McCulloch is about what happens after that, when the uniform comes off, when the next chapter isn't scripted, and when you have to build purpose on your own terms. Let's go check it out. Alright, welcome back. So our guest today is retired Lieutenant Colonel Oakland McCulloch, a leader shaped by service and defined by what came next. Oak's journey isn't just about leaving a role, it's about transitioning from structured leadership where the mission is clear and the identity is reinforced into a life where you have to create the mission for yourself. In this conversation, we talk about what people rarely name out loud: the grief of letting go, the recalibration of purpose, and the discipline it takes to build a second chapter that still feels like service, even when no one is giving you the roadmap. So if you've ever asked yourself, who am I without this title? This one is really gonna land with you. So, oh, welcome to Why I Left.

Oakland McCulloch 2:30

How you doing? I'm doing well, Brian. Thanks for having me on.

Brian Aquart 2:33

Absolutely. Well, before we get started, I'd always love to give a shout-out to how I meet my guests. And, you know, we're actually connected through a guest who I had on season four and a good friend of mine, Elena Agargomova. And so I saw you all's episode. We chatted on LinkedIn. And so I'm just glad, thank you for taking the time to come chat with me today.

Oakland McCulloch 2:53

Yeah, that was a great episode with uh Elena. I I really enjoyed that that episode, and I'm really looking forward to this one.

Brian Aquart 3:00

Yeah, absolutely. So would love to you know talk a little bit about before you even thought about leaving the military, what what did that role, what did that lifestyle give you personally?

Oakland McCulloch 3:11

Yeah, so like you mentioned earlier, you know, you have to have the discipline. I have self-discipline, but it gives you the discipline as well, and there is a difference. And just, you know, that identity of being a soldier, serving your country, that type of service is something that comes just with wearing the uniform and being a part of the United States Armed Forces. I was in the Army, but all the services.

Brian Aquart 3:36

And how much of who you were was tied to that structure and uniform and how aware were you of that at the time?

Oakland McCulloch 3:45

Yeah, it was probably too too much attached to that, as most of us get it get to that point, especially in the service, but in lots of our jobs. I mean, I I I did identify as a husband and a father. Those were huge parts of my life. But I gotta say that the uniform took precedence, and my wife will tell you that as well. But she she was served in the in the military as well for eight years as an army nurse. So she knew that it was the mission. That's what you had to do. But but I I can say without a doubt that I did identify as a soldier. That's what I was. I'll always be that. Even now that I'm not in uniform, I still identify as that. And we'll probably get into some of that during the show here. But I I I absolutely, that was my identity. I was uh an officer in the United States Army.

Brian Aquart 4:32

And you know, as you think about that, what part of yourself did people stop seeing once you stepped out of that role?

Oakland McCulloch 4:39

Yeah, well, I I I don't think they they there was a lot that they they didn't see, except me not in uniform. Because I I tried to keep a lot of that the same. I purposely went into another service-oriented career and then another one. And I and I think I that's what I'm continuing to do now, even now as I I've transitioned out of my third career or third job, uh second job after the Army. But I I don't think they saw a huge difference because I tried to maintain some of those same things that that kind of defined me as an officer in the Army, the self-discipline. Uh I mean, I even still have the haircut, you know. So I don't think they saw a whole lot of differences, but but certainly I'm I'm sure they did. I mean, I you don't leave an organization like that and a career like that and not have some changes, I have no doubt, even though you may not see it, I'm sure other people do.

Brian Aquart 5:35

That's a great point. We talk about transitions here, and obviously you one of the first transitions was leaving the military. So when when did you first notice that the fit was changing and that that realization that, you know what, it may be time to leave here. What what did you do with that when you first started to notice it?

Oakland McCulloch 5:54

Yeah, well, it that was a tough decision. I mean, there's no doubt about it, because it had been my life. You know, I I graduated from high school on the 6th of June, and on the 29th of June, I reported to West Point. And, you know, so, you know, it my entire adult life, I basically was a soldier in one way or another, either in the National Guard or R O T C or West Point or on active duty. So it had been a long time that I had done anything other than that. But but I think when I realized that it was time, was I was not going to get promoted. I was a lieutenant colonel and I was not gonna get promoted. My wife and I, we moved so much over our career. Every two years, you were picking up packing up and moving to a new place. Both my children went to three different high schools. Um, it it was that time that we just kind of as a couple said, I think it's about time. And we loved where we were. We loved Mobile, Alabama, which was my last duty assignment, running the ROTC program there. And what really, I guess, hammered it home to both of us was I loved what I did at South Alabama. I was running an ROTC program, producing the next generation of leaders, and I loved it. And I knew that there was nothing gonna come after that that was gonna be as good as that. And so that was kind of what finally drove us to make that decision.

Brian Aquart 7:15

One of our com in our conversations and some of the work that I've noticed, you talk a lot about leaders taking care of people. And I hear it in that comment you just made about, you know, really just taking care of and building the next leaders of, you know, the nation. You know, at what point did you realize maybe you couldn't fix what you were seeing from where you were anymore, as far as like, you know what, this this is going to be it?

Oakland McCulloch 7:38

Right. Yeah, well, I I saw who was getting promoted, and a lot of great people got promoted ahead of me, no doubt about it. There were some people that I was like, really? You know, and there were that there was no doubt that the army was changing and that there were things I didn't like it that it was changing to. And I I wasn't at a position, and I knew I wasn't at a position to make any changes or affect those changes. And so that that certainly had a driving part in it was time for me to leave. Um and certainly that I I didn't necessarily agree with that a lot of the direction that the military was going, but uh it was really that I that I knew that I wasn't ever going to be in a position to affect any of those changes because I wasn't gonna get promoted. Gotcha.

Brian Aquart 8:24

And, you know, on the show we often talk a lot about grief. And typically when people think of grief, it's like the grief of a of clearly like loss, but like loss of an individual, like a loved one or something like that. But I truthfully have been enlightened over the past few seasons as I've talked with a few professionals around grieving and and what that means. And this idea that, you know, you can actually grieve the loss of a job is something that I've truthfully become more accustomed to because I didn't really think about it like that. So thinking about that, what did you have to grieve when you left or decided left the army and actually going through that decision process?

Oakland McCulloch 9:04

Yeah, I well, certainly the uniform. And as a retired officer, retired soldier, I I can wear my uniform when I want. And I certainly did on special occasions. But that was a such a huge part of my identity, getting up every morning, putting that uniform on and going to work. Um and and so that that hurt not doing that anymore. And I I did try to keep like I said, I kept the haircut. I although I did, I after I retired for about three months, uh maybe two months, I tried to let it grow out. And I said, no, can't do it. And and you know, I that was probably trying to get over that piece, but I I just couldn't. And I think, you know, I still miss not wearing a uniform. My wife would tell you I do wear a uniform, this is it, you know, but um but it's not the same. No, I get in. And and I think the other piece that I really missed that I grieved was the camaraderie, you know, that we that soldiers have, uh officers and enlisted, officers and officers, just people in the service, whoever they are, you you may not even know them, but as soon as you you make a connection with them, you have that camaraderie. You have those that common base that you can go off of. And that was difficult to to overcome as well.

Brian Aquart 10:22

Yeah. So as you think about that, what were some of the things that you then did to help kind of deal with that transition, to help make it smoother as you're really starting to live life on the other side?

Oakland McCulloch 10:33

Yeah. So I I I really won, I I started spending more time with my wife. There you go.

Brian Aquart 10:40

You're a smart man.

Oakland McCulloch 10:41

Yeah. And which I I needed to do, and I probably should have spent more time when I was on active duty with her. But I did whenever I could. Um, but you you don't have a say when you when you're gonna leave and what you gotta do. That's the mission. But um, but I also I I tried to to build a commute in the in the little neighborhood that we lived in when I retired, we tried to do more things with the community. Try to have little get-togethers, little dinner parties, have people over. So tried to build that camaraderie, not not the same as the service camaraderie, but but try to replace that with another um group of people that were that we built a close relationship uh with. And and that helped a lot. It really did.

Brian Aquart 11:24

So let's talk a little bit about the the life after uh the exit. So what what surprised you the most about life on this other side? Both maybe we could talk about about the relief and maybe there could have been some discomfort as well. So what what surprised you the most?

Oakland McCulloch 11:39

Yeah, well, I the relief was certainly I could I went home every night.

Brian Aquart 11:43

True, yes.

Oakland McCulloch 11:44

You know, I I knew I was I didn't have three-month, nine-month uh deployments or field 30-day field problems or whatever. So I knew every night I was coming home. And uh that was a relief for sure. Although I I missed that piece of it as well. I it was nice, it's nice that that you have that routine in your life, that sense of routine in your life. The hardest thing for me was probably the lack of dealing with people who did not ha understand that the concept of mission of we've got to get this done, and it doesn't matter what else happens, this has to be done, and it has to be done right. You know, at the I can remember at the food bank, I took over the food bank, I don't know, about a month before the BP oil spill in the Gulf. And our food bank covered 52 counties across the Gulf Coast, the whole Gulf Coast of Mississippi, the whole Gulf Coast of Alabama, and about a third of the panhandle of Florida. Well, when they shut the, when that BP oil spill happened, they shut the Gulf down. So everybody who was making a living working in the Gulf wasn't making a living anymore. So we had to add them to our distribution. And I started coming up with ways to do that to increase our capability. And I don't know how many times I was told, well, that's too hard. We can't do that. What? It's not a I'm not at giving you a choice. We're going to do this. That's the mission, that's what we're going to do, and we're going to figure it out. And it and it was hard. I'm not trying to say that it wasn't, but we didn't have a choice. But that mindset that we have a choice, you don't have a choice. That's something that has to be done. And that was really hard for me as a lifelong soldier to deal with people who had no concept of what mission was.

Brian Aquart 13:28

And I would imagine, too, did you also did you often find there was a lack of a sense of urgency with them as well?

Oakland McCulloch 13:35

Absolutely. As a soldier, you know, you worked till the job was done. And if that meant two o'clock in the morning, then you were there at two o'clock in the morning. Well, we were have having a cop a little planning session about the largest food handout that we did every year. Did it every year. And about four o'clock, we're sitting there in the meeting, and I all of a sudden I see people packing up stuff and putting it away. And I was like, What are you doing? And they said, Well, it's four o'clock, it's time to go home. I said, Well, we're not done. They said, Oh, but it's four o'clock, it's time to go home. I said, Okay. If you want to leave, leave. I said, but just let me make this really clear. Three weeks from now, when we're handing out food, and some 19-year-old unmarried young lady has to go home and can't feed her daughter because we didn't get this right, it's your fault. How many people you think left? Zero. You know, but they just and and I got it. You know, there's times, and and even when I was in the army, there was times we could have stayed longer and done stuff, but we didn't need to. But when we needed to, then we did it. And but that concept, you're right. They they don't have the concept of urgency that things have to be done, and they have to be done right, and they have to be done now. And that was that was hard to deal with initially. I f finally got where I was easier, you know, it came a little easier to me that other people didn't have that mentality.

Brian Aquart 14:58

Yeah. Did you have to change the way you lead at all when you started when you now entered into essentially like the civilian workforce? Did you have to change your leadership style?

Oakland McCulloch 15:10

Yeah, well, I the principles of leadership don't change. You know, leadership is leadership. I don't care what profession you're in, the principles don't change. How you implement them, how you communicate them certainly does. I mean, I didn't talk to the volunteers at the food bank the same way I talked to my soldiers. That just makes sense.

Brian Aquart 15:28

Right.

Oakland McCulloch 15:28

Although I think a lot of soldiers, a lot of people who retire from the military who have problems in the transition don't make that transition. They think they can still talk to people the same way they did when they were in uniform. And they had that authority that can comes with being the leader in the military. And so I I don't think that changed at all. The principles didn't change. Absolutely how I dealt with people, I had to to make changes to. And I don't think it didn't come that hard to me. You know, the first day I walked in and uh and I realized that I was no longer Lieutenant Colonel McCulloch, I was oak. And that's what they called me. And that's and that was okay. But it that took a little getting used to.

Brian Aquart 16:09

When you think about that that time, was there anything that you either underestimated or overestimated about rebuilding your sense of self without the structure that you were used to?

Oakland McCulloch 16:20

Yeah, I I think I think the hardest part for me, the the thing that I probably overestimated was that rank, that reputation would follow me. People don't care what you did in the military. The people that work in the office with you, most of them not only weren't they in the military, but a lot of people in the office didn't know anybody who'd ever been in the military. In today's America, only one percent of the population s serves. So it's it's really there's people who have never even spoken to a soldier face to face. That assuming that that reputation would follow is probably something I overestimated because they they could have cared less. It started day one. I had to build that reputation with them from day one and start all over again. And I I I guess I just didn't think about that when I was transitioning.

Brian Aquart 17:12

And and now let I'd love to talk a little bit about redefining service and leadership because you talk about that a lot on this season. You know, another one of my my uh good buddies, uh Kevin Schmiegel, we talk about service and in the work that I do, I think about that often. When you think about training people, it's taking care of people as well. How did, if at all, your definition of care change once you were no longer responsible for troops or teams?

Oakland McCulloch 17:38

Yeah. Well, I was still responsible for teams, the food bank staff and all that, but it wasn't troops anymore. And I think the thing I had to wrap my head around, and I never had to worry about this when I was in the service, you know, pay, health care, people taking time off for needing time off for this or that. I mean, we didn't deal with that in the military. You know, every soldier got paid the same amount based on their rank. Every soldier got the same amount of leave, every soldier had health care, you know. But I had to start thinking about those kinds of things when I took over a leadership position in the civilian world. Um, and that became part of taking care of people, making sure that they got what they were supposed to get or needed, even if they weren't supposed to get it. If that's what they needed to to be effective, then I I needed to find out a way to to provide that type of stuff for them. A time time off. You know, I used to have people come up to me and say, Hey, I my son is sick. I gotta go home. Okay, I got it. You know, and but in the army, I don't think I ever had to deal with that. And so that was that was something that I had to wrap my head around. I'm still taking care of people, but it's done in a different way, and it's uh it's it's in areas that I never had to deal with before.

Brian Aquart 18:56

And how did you redefine what service means when there was no true institution telling you what mattered?

Oakland McCulloch 19:02

Yeah. I I I think for me, you know, and like I said, I I purposely went into a serv another service-oriented a food bank. Right. Because I didn't want to get into the corporate world. I had no interest in that whatsoever. Because I still had that sense of service that it was important to serve other people. And I guess one of the biggest reasons I picked the food bank, because there were other service-oriented things there in the City of Mobile, I probably could have pursued, was because it was an absolute service. It was providing something that's to people that needed something. And it wasn't about me, it was all about them. They could have cared less if I what my title was at the food bank. All they know is they needed food and we needed to provide it for them. Um and and so it was still about service to me. I I mean when we do food handouts, and we we I implemented huge, but before I got there and before the BP oil spill spill, we never did direct handouts at at a location. We we provided food to food pantries or church pantries or things like little organizations that did it in their community. But because of the BP oil spill, we had to start doing the handouts direct. And I used to go out and I I'd help unload the trucks and set it up, and I'd be out there talking to people and providing bottles of water as they're standing in 95 degree weather and 90% humidity. Um, you know, because it again, it was about service. It wasn't about me, it was about them. And and so the service piece, I don't think ever left me. And and nor has it. Still, I think I still what I do today, like you, I'm providing a service, passing on those lessons that I've learned over the last 40 years of being a leader. To me, that's about service. It's not about me, it's about the people I'm I'm uh helping become a better leader.

Brian Aquart 20:54

Yeah. And and tell us a little bit about some of the things you are up to now and some of the lessons you are passing down to the audiences that you now serve and and speak in front of.

Oakland McCulloch 21:04

Yeah. So uh I really do two things. I do keynote talks at conferences, and then I help c individual companies. If a company needs help, either in a two or three-day little seminar, I'll do that, or I do year-long leadership development programs for companies leaders. Um and and really I I talk about servant leadership. I talk about, you know, the importance of communication and how to communicate with people. I I talk about problem solving, decision making. Those are things that I had to do as an officer in the army that now this becomes second nature to me because I had to do it for so many years. I understand that if you weren't put in a position, and and let's be honest, lots of people become leaders in the civilian world without any training whatsoever. Who do you pick for the leader? Salesman, your best mechanic. Just because they were a good salesman. Doesn't mean they're going to be a good leader unless you provide them with the tools to become a good leader. And so that's what I look at myself doing now is helping to provide those tools that help them develop those leadership skills that they have, they just haven't developed them.

Brian Aquart 22:16

When you're in some of these corporate environments, is there anything that surprises you about how they view leadership and communication?

Oakland McCulloch 22:24

Yeah. So so just that point that they they don't they don't believe that they have to have a leadership development program for their junior leaders. You know, most of the CEOs, presidents of companies, most of them, not all of them, I have met a few that I wouldn't consider good leaders, but most of them have had leadership. They've built themselves throughout the years up to that point, and they've had some leadership positions, and so they they've learned them. But a lot of those junior leaders have had zero, none. Even the ones who are hired directly as a leader have had no real true leadership training and have very little experience to put that training to use. So a lot of the companies I go to, they don't invest in a leadership development or a professional development program for their people. And I think that's a mistake because that's what's going to get you through the hard times is that the quality of that leadership. I tell people companies all the time that the number one factor that will determine whether or not your company has the capability of being successful, because there are no guarantees, but the possibility that it's going to be successful is the quality of leadership in your organization. And you can't be a leader if you cannot communicate. That is what leaders do. Period. If you can't stand up in front of somebody and explain what you want them to do and why you need them to do it so that they understand their part in the COG, you know, the big machine, then they can't help you. You know, I I run into that all the time. I'll go down to the lowest person in an organization and I'll say, what is the vision of this company? Lots of them can't even tell me that. But even the ones that can, I say, okay, great. What's your part in that vision? How are you, what part do you do to get that vision to move forward? And I always explain it to CEOs, presidents. If somebody doesn't know their part, they can't help you get where you want to go. And if you think you, as the leader, is the one that's going to get you from where you are today to where you want to be 10 years from now, you are sadly mistaken. It's not you, it's the people that work for you that are going to get you there. So they have to understand your vision and your plan as well as you do.

Brian Aquart 24:34

I think that is so important. It reminds me, you know, everyone, you know, has probably heard of the whole, remember the whole Kennedy comment where that they go into NASA and then someone speaks to the janitor and they say, Right, what are we doing? And he tells them, We're putting a man on the moon. It's that type of thing that uh yeah, people all often overlook. And so I'm glad that you you acknowledge that and are continuing to spread that gospel in with the organizations that that you serve. You know, when you think about leadership yourself, was there any any beliefs about either you or or leadership as a whole that you had to unlearn in order to grow into what you're doing now?

Oakland McCulloch 25:12

You know, and and I always use this this example because it's absolutely true, and I can remember it like it was yesterday. You know, I I did all the I did two years, I didn't graduate from West Point. I did two years at West Point, I did two years in ROTC, and I come out as second lieutenant. And I thought, you know, I'm here, I'm the boss, I'm the lieutenant, I'm gonna be a platoon leader. And I walked in and the very first day with my very first platoon. They were already out in the field, and my company commander took me out there and just kicked me out of the hung V and introduced me to the my platoon sergeant, and he drove away. And my platoon sergeant, Sergeant First Class Penson, six foot six, two hundred and twenty-pound country boy from Mississippi, grabs me by the shoulder and he says, Sir, grab an MRE, let's go have lunch. And we walked over, got sat down, just him, he and I just sat down beneath this tree and we're sitting there eating an MRE. And he said, Sir, look, listen, you are the platoon leader. You're the boss. We will do things any way you want to do them. However, here I am, a 24-year-old lieutenant. He said, I've been in the army for 23 years. He'd been in the army almost as long as I had been alive. He said, If you're gonna mess up, I'm gonna tell you. He said, if you still want to do it that way, we'll do it that way. You're the boss. He said, but it's my job to help develop you as a leader. And uh, for the first time, I I guess it really hit me that you can learn as much from the people you lead as you can from being the leader. And you just got to use those talents, skills, knowledge, and abilities that you don't have. And I'm here, don't want to bust anybody's bubble, but I don't care how long you've been doing what you're doing, you don't have all the knowledge, skills, and ability. There's always somebody in your organization that knows a little bit more about something in your organization than you do. Put your ego aside. And we all have an ego. I mean, anybody who tells you they don't have an ego is lying to you. We all have an ego. And we want people to have an ego because that's what drives them to be the best at whatever they do. That's what drives them to be successful. But good leaders know when to put that ego aside and use the talent, skills, knowledge, and abilities of the people they have the privilege to lead. And it is a privilege to be the leader.

Brian Aquart 27:25

When you think about that, and I love that that realization that you can learn truthfully from anybody, I would imagine that feeling. Was there a little bit of discomfort in having that conversation with that individual?

Oakland McCulloch 27:38

What did I give myself into here? You know, and but but I I give Southern First Class Benson a lot of credit for helping to develop me into the the leader I became. And he and I did, I became a better leader because of him, uh, and and his guidance and his advice and his him uh imparting some of the knowledge that he had learned over 23 years as as a soldier in on me, to me. And and it certainly did make a difference in my career. And I think in my life, I realized that I don't have I don't care what it is, uh, you know, whether it's an organization at church that I'm involved in, I don't have all the answers, and that's okay. That's the key. It's okay. Accept it.

Brian Aquart 28:21

You know, love as we think about this, um, one of the things I like to get across to the audience is just giving some advice because there's a lot of people who listen who are at different stages in their career journeys. And you know, for someone who is listening, who may feel loyal to a system that truthfully may no longer serve them, right? That could be the military or maybe somewhere in civilian life, how do they know when loyalty becomes almost like self-betrayal?

Oakland McCulloch 28:48

Yeah. That's a great question. I I get asked questions similar to that quite often. And I I tell people that the time that you the thing you got to do is you got to go back to your values. And if an organization that you are a part of no longer believes lives by those values that you live by, and and I tell everybody, you you have to have your three to five bedrock values that you will not violate or compromise. And if that organization no longer allows you to live within your three to five bedrock values, then it's time for you to leave. It's no longer about loyalty, it's about yourself, being able to live with yourself. And and the standard I always use is I I gotta like the person who looks back at me in the mirror every morning when I shave. And if I don't, then I know I've done something against my values. But but do you, you know, that piece to me, you not only have to pick those three to five, you have to define what those mean to you. Because a value for me may be means something different for you, and that's okay. There's nothing wrong with that. But you've got to write down, and I tell them, write, write it down and put it somewhere where you have to look at them every day and remind yourself what those bedrock values are. And if you're ever in a situation or in an organization where you have to compromise any of those values, then it's time for you to move on.

Brian Aquart 30:09

And what's one practical step someone can take over the next week or so if they know a transition is coming, but they truly aren't ready to leap just yet.

Oakland McCulloch 30:20

Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, we we all have to live with fear, you know, unfortunately. No, I you know, I I I've probably only met about three people in my life who I could say I honestly believe were absolutely fearless. What we all have a fear, a fear of failure, fear, fear of rejection, you know. It go back to when you were in eighth grade at the first dance, boy-girl dance, all the boys on this side of the gym, all the girls on this side of the gym. You talk about a fearless young man, the first one who walked across there and asked that first girl, is it she wanted to dance? And if he had gotten rejected, there would be no dancing that night. No dance. Yeah. Because none of you, none of us would have walked across that floor. But the fear, you know, you got to look at fear as it's natural, it's gonna be there. But look at it as a force multiplier. Use that fear to motivate yourself. But I think, again, when you're ready to make that transition, or you think you're ready to make that transition, this is the other piece of advice I give people is figure out where you want to go, where you want to be. Oh, and I say in the next year, next five years, whatever it is, then sit down and say, okay, for me to get there, what are the things I have to do from now till then to get there and start planning it out and start coming up with goals because that's how you make a plan work. You know, you can say I'm gonna do this all you want, but without goals, it's just a dream. And dreams are nice, but they don't get you anywhere generally. You got to actually sit down and figure out what it is that you want and how to get there, and that's through goals. And for something to be a goal, you have to do three things. You have to write it down, because until you write it down, it's just a dream. You have to do something within the first 24 hours that starts you down the road to accomplishing that goal. And number three is you have to commit to that goal and say, this is what I'm going to do, and I'm gonna make it happen. Because it's all about mindset, I believe. 90% of our life is about mindset. If you believe you can do it, you can do it. But actually sit down and think about what it is I want moving forward as I leave this position into the next profession or job or whatever it is that you're moving into and figure out what you want out of it and then work toward getting there. That's my advice to people.

Brian Aquart 32:40

I like that a lot because what I'm hearing a lot through that is just there's got to be some intention, right? And the the act of writing it down does something to people or typing it if you want, but like but writing does something for people, you know. So I love that you you mentioned that. As you think about kind of where you're at now, who are you now that you weren't able to be before?

Oakland McCulloch 33:03

Oh, that's a great question. I think part of it is I'm a better father and husband than I was before. I'm much more attentive to those things. It's much much more important to me. It was always important to me, but now, this stage in my life, you know, that is absolutely more important to me. And I I think, you know, and thanks to my wife, I think, you know, I give her credit. I think I'm I'm a better a better person in general because I realize that it that uh it is about giving back to the community, to the to the neighborhood. I live in a condo, to the people in the condo, you know, if they if they need something, they know they can call me and and I I'll come down and help them. If I'm in town, I'll help them. Because that that's it one is one of my favorite things to tell. I had my hand in commissioning over 600 lieutenants over my career in the Army. So leaders for the Army and for the nation. And one of the things I told every single one of them, and I'm finally living it better than I did even then, is that every day your goal should be at least go out and find one person and make a difference, a positive difference in their life, at least one person every day. And I think I'm trying to do that better than I ever did before.

Brian Aquart 34:18

I love that. Really, it really goes back to what you were talking about earlier about the about service and the importance of that, which I often think is, especially in today's self-absorbed type of world, is a lost art, right? So like you helping the people in your condo, helping the obviously helping your soldiers, right? But helping, you know, the folks that you serve with the food bank. That is, that is I just love that that you mentioned that because when we talk about service, and as I think about that as well, it's not something that people are really focused on like that, unless, unless there's like a crisis, right? In crisis, people can get into service mode. But a daily practice around service, I think is something that's a huge that that is, I love that you that you mentioned that.

Oakland McCulloch 35:05

Well, and and it's not that hard. That's what I used to tell always tell people. It's not, you know, one person, anybody everybody can do that. If you can do 10, great. And there are people out there who do 10 things every day for and make a positive difference in 10 people's lives. That's great. But one person every day, a positive difference. Imagine how much better our families, our neighborhoods, our communities, our cities, our state, our country, the world would be if everybody did that, made one positive difference every day in somebody's life. And it's not that hard. It really isn't. You know, I said my as I said, my wife was in the army as well. So you can imagine we are never late for anything. We're always that couple that shows up 15 minutes too early, generally. So one day we I we were getting ready to go somewhere, and I knew how long it took to get there, and we were leaving like five minutes early, earlier than we normally do. And I said, Well, why are we leaving now? She said, Well, you know, we might run into somebody in the hallway or the elevator or the lobby or the garage that just needs to talk to us today. Just needs somebody to talk to. And we need to have built in a few minutes to just stop and listen to them. And that's actually happened. And you can tell when somebody just needs to talk, you know, and and we just need to have that time to to take that time to listen to them. Because that may have been, we may have been the only people that they got to talk to all day about it. And sometimes that might be even be the difference between somebody deciding to take their life or not. I mean, it can be that serious. So I I we always try, I always try to give my time when I can. I try to build in where I can give time to people. If it's just nothing else, just to listen to what they need to talk, tell me that day.

Brian Aquart 36:46

That's beautiful. That is really beautiful. And you're right. It it it can be that that dramatic and that, you know, that one conversation could be a difference maker for that person. You know, if if you could speak to knowing what you know now, if you could speak to the version of yourself right before you left the military, what would you say to him?

Oakland McCulloch 37:07

That it's okay, that it was time, you needed to move on, and you can still make a difference in whatever you choose to do after you transition from whatever profession you're gonna transition from. You can still make a difference. And I think too many pe too many of us, and I I was probably the same way, you know. I even though I knew uh what I was doing, going to the food bank was still service-oriented, I didn't feel like it was the same, that I could make the same have the same impact that I had as a soldier. And I will hear I'm here to tell you, looking back on it, I probably had more of an impact in my food bank job than I did as a soldier. So I think that's the the thing I would tell people is it's okay and you can still make a difference in this world. You can still have an impact.

Brian Aquart 37:51

And now looking forward, what what are you most hopeful for about the future?

Oakland McCulloch 37:57

Yeah, well, I'm I'm I'm hopeful that and I I I got it. I mean, the the young people today are different than you and I were when we were 18, 19, 20 year olds. And and there's nothing wrong with that. They they are different. But I think they're different in a way that I I do have hope that you know, they're smarter than we were. They're more technically advanced than we were uh than we are, probably. And they want to use that. A lot of them do want to use that to better people and better the the world. There there's selfish young men and women, just like there was when you and I were young men and women. But but I having worked in recruiting in ROTC and seeing the best of the young men and women who wanted to serve this country, not only in the military, but beyond, I I did have, I do have faith that we're gonna be okay.

Brian Aquart 38:51

And would love to flip the mic on you now and say, ask you, what's one question you have for me that I can hopefully answer?

Oakland McCulloch 38:59

So I I get asked this question quite often. If you could spend an hour having lunch with one person in the world right now, who would that be and why?

Brian Aquart 39:07

They have to be alive in the world right now?

Oakland McCulloch 39:09

Right, right now.

Brian Aquart 39:10

Okay. Ooh, this is a good one. In the world right now, who would it be? Oh man, that's a good one. All right, let me think about this. I'll give you this one. I think the person who I'd want to spend it with right now, I'm gonna keep it very close to home, is probably my mom, right? My mom or my dad, but uh you only gave me one. So I'll I'll say, I'll say, say my mom or my parents, right? I appreciate that we all grow up and we have to start our own lives and be our own people and all that, and we move away from your original support system. But I'm not gonna lie, sometimes I just kind of miss that. I kind of miss being able to, I don't know, grab a sandwich, make a sandwich with my mom or my dad and just sit down and eat with them and just chat about life in this, in this older, much adult, in living deep in adulthood now life. And and I and I do get chances to do that, but not as often as I would have would like. And, you know, so as I think about that question, you know, you could think like the famous are out and all that stuff, but I'm just like, you know, I'm such a person who is big on family and big on those types of connections that yeah, I just I just really appreciate that. I I would, I would want to have I would want to have, you know, lunch, lunch with my mom, you know, and just chat, let her talk my head off if she wanted to. But but that that would be that would be beautiful for me.

Oakland McCulloch 40:30

Yeah. I I I that's a great answer. And and I think sometimes we forget the impact that our parents had on us. And I tell people, I am who I am because of my parents. There's no doubt about that. Good and bad, you know, mostly good from my mom, some bad from my dad. But that's okay. Because, you know, I am who I am because of them. Um and and I I think that we sometimes forget that as adults, the impact that they had on us. And if and if we can spend a little time, they they can still have some impact on us. Absolutely.

Brian Aquart 41:05

Well, Oak, I want to thank you for joining the show today. Before we wrap up, I want to give you the space to share where people can find you and support some of the work that you're doing out there.

Oakland McCulloch 41:15

Yeah. So I'm I've got a website, ltcoakmcculloch.com/. And on there it has links to all my social media. Uh, and you know, we're connected on LinkedIn, but I'm also on Instagram and I am not on TikTok, normal. I was just about to ask you. Not gonna happen. And that one will never happen. But but I'm on a lot of them, Facebook, a bunch of them. So there's links to that. You can find me, connect with me on on social media. It has my email and my cell phone number. I'm always happy to hop on, like I said, up on a phone call or an email with somebody if you got a question or or if you want me to come speak at one of your events or do a leadership development program with your company. I'm happy to have that conversation. But yeah, I would love to have your audience connect with me on social media and on my website.

Brian Aquart 42:06

Absolutely. Well, I want to thank you for that. I will make sure I put all of that information in our show notes. And and the one thing before I wrap up, I actually was not on TikTok either, right? Until I actually spoke with a much younger individual who was like, you know what, Brian, you got all these videos, right? You have all these things. You might as well just get on there and repurpose them. And so I want to plant that seed for you, just in case you have like videos from your talks or anything like that. Now, granted, I'm not up there doing any TikTok challenges or dances or anything like that. And and you won't find me doing that. But I'd wanted at least plant that seed for you because it was planted for me. That if you got videos, at some sometimes that TikTok reach is not bad.

Oakland McCulloch 42:49

So I've I've been encouraged by, like you said, younger people, including my son and daughter, to uh to possibly put something on TikTok. Um and and who knows, maybe somewhere down the road I'll I'll break down and do that.

Brian Aquart 43:04

Yeah, there you go. Well, look, I again, Oak, I just want to thank you for joining me today. That'll do it for today's episode. As I mentioned, everything will be in our show notes. And I hope you all have a great week. You picked up something today. I think it's really important we think about and focus on service, like Oak mentioned, because at times it can be such a lost art. So I hope you all again have a great week, and we'll definitely see you next time. Thank you for joining.

Oakland McCulloch 43:32

Thanks for having me.

Brian Aquart 43:33

Thanks for listening to why I left. Join us next time for more inspiring stories about growth, resilience, and transformation. Visit us online at www.yileft.co. That's whyileft.co.