You’re just so angry… all the time.
You lash out at friends and family. Your words are scathing on social media. You actively ignore a text from a loved one, tossing your phone in disgust. You rage in your car, where you feel it’s safe to rage, where two tons of metal and machinery could be weaponized in an instant if you so choose. You secretly relish that power. You slam doors, you stomp the ground, you shout and intimidate and cast the blame on those you’ve injured. You are just so angry all the time.
We know, dear one. We are with you in those moments. We are with you always. We are you otherworld love.
This anger you carry has been with you a long time. But it was not always… anger. It began, as anger often does, as fear. Fear that you are not loved. And therefore, that you are not safe.
It is almost impossible to convince another soul that they are loved. Sure, you may be persuaded for a day, perhaps even by the words that you’re hearing now… but, war will break out in a country far away, or political intransigence will invade your home from the airwaves, or a friend will not call, or a loved one will treat you with indifference… and the fear will return, and the emotions will stir, and the anger will erupt again from deep within.
The identity shell you have crafted around you was forged by fear and jealously guards its store of anger within.
Only the ego is fearful, only the ego is angry. You… are not… your ego. Though you dance, you are not the dancer. Though you fight, you are not the warrior.
You are the music you dance to. You are the strength with which you fight.
Release your anger in this way…
Sit quietly now and then and bathe the war zones of the world with light and thoughts of peace.
Surround the strangers you pass on the street with an electric pool of warmth and loving calm.
Blanket the city you live in with love and kindness, see with your inner eye a firework explosion of healing light raining down on your neighbors, enemies and friends alike.
Forgive the politically resolute, the uneducated, the unwavering, the lost, all the wayward souls consumed by their own identities, prisons of their own making. Remember that just as you do the best you can in each moment considering your level of unfoldment, so they, too, do the best they can in each moment considering their level of unfoldment. Paltry though their efforts may seem to you at the time. Forgive them. With will and force of spirit, whenever they enter your mind, quickly send them thoughts of love, and then just as quickly let them go from your thinking.
Sit for a few minutes each day to watch your thoughts and try, if you can, to realize that you are not your thoughts, you are the one who watches. Your thoughts may be angry or fearful or morose, but the one who watches, the real you is none of these. The real you is serene, the real you is loving, the real you is infinitely kind. See if you can feel a sense of this, even if only for the briefest of moments.
The next time your anger explodes, when you’ve recovered, say to yourself, “well, maybe that’s the last of it for this lifetime; maybe that’s the final remnant of the fear eking out, expressing itself one last time.”
Dear one, anger and the fear beneath it are with you still because you practice them, you give them energy and power. End this routine. Practice love. Practice kindness. Practice sitting with the magnificent, tranquil, dazzling beauty that is the real you.
These are the raindrops that will replenish your ocean of love. For you are love in human form. And you *are* loved also far beyond your ken. Know this truth and be at peace.