Life Unscripted with Kevin Shook
Welcome to 'Life Unscripted with Kevin Shook', a heartening podcast where embracing vulnerability is the key to success. Join your host, Kevin, as he dives into the stories of remarkable individuals who have transformed their lives by opening up, facing challenges, and finding strength in their most vulnerable moments. Each episode features inspiring conversations with guests from various walks of life. Kevin's journey of embracing vulnerability has led him to meet amazing people, and now he brings their wisdom, laughter, and insights to you. Tune in and discover how embracing your vulnerabilities can lead to your greatest victories in life, both personally & professionally.
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Life Unscripted with Kevin Shook
A Misdirected Message That Led to Forever – Brenda & Isaiah's Serendipitous Love Story | Life Unscripted with Kevin Shook
Have you ever wondered how a simple text message could change your life forever? Brenda and Isaiah Stearns joins Kevin Shook on Life Unscripted to share their extraordinary love story that began with a misdirected Bible verse. Their tale is a beautiful reminder of the power of chance encounters and divine timing, as they reflect on the serendipity that led to a lifetime of happiness. We also celebrate their journey with a special 3D-printed memento, symbolizing the year their lives intertwined in the most unexpected way.
Our episode also takes you on a journey through the intricate dance of love and family. Meet a couple who navigated the unpredictable waters of online dating and long-distance challenges, culminating in a joyful first meeting in December. With anecdotes of meeting family members before even meeting each other, their story highlights the humor, excitement, and commitment that come with setting intentions for a lasting relationship. Hear about the pivotal leap of faith taken to prioritize love over career, capturing the essence of meaningful connections.
Exploring the charm of old homes, we share tales of acquiring a dream Victorian house and the history it holds. Delight in stories of personal growth and the courage to embrace life’s imperfections and vulnerabilities. This episode uncovers the beauty of authentic experiences and the joy of making lasting memories. From the unexpected viral success of a TikTok video to spreading hope in a world often filled with negativity, we celebrate the power of positivity and genuine human connection.
Life Inscripted with Kevin Shipp.
Speaker 2:Today I have a couple really special people I met when I was doing real estate photography. Obviously, I'm kind of a jack-of-all-trades master of none, and one of those trades is real estate photography. So it was really cool knocking on their doors and like, hey, I hope you're expecting a photographer. And then we got to talking more and, um, I learned more about this couple, so I present to you uh, isaiah and brenda sterns, and, um, they're here without their six sidekicks yep, six right, yep.
Speaker 3:And then um, I noticed uh, on right, yep.
Speaker 2:And then, um, I noticed um on your Instagram that you skipped two years. There's a couple of years in there, but um, I needed a break.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and he's just like yep, yes, she did Um so okay, um, brenda, how did this story start?
Speaker 2:So okay, brenda, how did this story start? Because I know it started with something that you did in 2009, I believe. So, yeah, go ahead and tell us.
Speaker 3:So it all started because I sent a text to the wrong number. Obviously, I didn't mean to. I had this habit of sending inspirational text messages to my friends, my contacts. At the time I mean, you're talking 2009 smartphones weren't really a thing, I had the Nokia big, huge one Was it, yeah, wow.
Speaker 3:And so I had, like I don't know, 10, 11 contacts at the most, and so and four of those were, three of those were my sister, so I would like click all of them and I would send the same text to everybody. And I was getting ready to do that in the morning and the phone at the office where I worked at rang and so I was like, okay, I'll send this text later. I'm busy with work. And I completely forgot about that text until later that evening when I got to my apartment Like, oh, my goodness, I was, was gonna send this text in the morning. Let me go ahead and send it now. And I did, and within 20, 30 minutes I got a text back saying amen to that.
Speaker 3:Who is this? And I was like, hey, it's Brenda Roxy's sister. You're my mom's neighbor, remember me? Because the phone I had on there was for a family friend that lived in Ohio near where my mom lived. And he's like, no, I don't think we've ever met. My name is Isaiah Stearns. And then I was like, oh sorry, like I didn't mean to send this to you.
Speaker 3:And then he continued on saying hey, by the looks of your text I can tell that you like love God, and that's awesome, and that's kind of what sparked the beginning of our conversation. We started texting back for a little bit and then I was like, okay, well, you know, sorry for the text, it was a mistake and hope you have a good day, and that was it. And then he said if, if you don't mind, maybe I can text you or call you and keep in touch.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Keep in touch, or something like that, and I thought it was really weird but I was like sure, why not? But before all of this I say I had just gotten a new phone plan and they messed up or something. Why don't you tell them that part of the part of the story?
Speaker 1:Yeah, so, uh, I wanted to get a new phone plan. So I reached out to the phone company and they said okay, here's your new phone number. Call this other number. You should be able to set it up. So I did and it didn't work. And I called them back and they said well, whoever set that phone number up in the system, they didn't do it right. So here's a new phone number for you. Call that same number again. That should be able to work for you. So I called it. It worked. And then, 30 minutes later that's when I got the text- so if I had sent that text in the morning when I got it he would never have.
Speaker 3:Nope. So it was like all at the perfect time.
Speaker 1:That second phone number was a family friend's phone number that she had in her phone.
Speaker 3:He changed.
Speaker 1:It moved to California or something like that.
Speaker 2:So what was the text?
Speaker 3:It was a Bible verse, I believe.
Speaker 1:I don't remember exactly, yeah, it was. It was a Bible verse.
Speaker 3:I believe I don't remember exactly which one Philippians 2. Yeah, it was. I remember it had something to do with like be more like Christ, how he lived on earth and Selflessness. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Like not being selfish. Focus less on self. So I made something for you and this might help you remember I won't be the car. Be like a kid, throw the card out. She reads everything.
Speaker 3:I'm a little sentimental.
Speaker 1:She doesn't keep cards but she gets sentimental with words.
Speaker 3:I will read the card.
Speaker 2:You might not be able to understand the card. It's my handwriting.
Speaker 3:I will read it later.
Speaker 2:It's a little fragile, so that's why I used every paper in the package.
Speaker 3:Oh my goodness, this is so cool.
Speaker 1:Oh, wow, that's beautiful.
Speaker 2:Thank you yeah.
Speaker 3:Thank you, I'll help you remember now. I will remember now. Oh, it says the Stearns 2009.
Speaker 2:Oh, that is beautiful thank you, yeah that is very kind of you and it's now you remember. Now you remember what you said I will remember what I said aesthetically pleasing.
Speaker 3:She's gonna keep that I, I will, I like the little heart too. Did you print this? Yeah, yeah that is so cool I love 3d printing printing. I love it. Thank you, you're welcome. Appreciate it.
Speaker 2:But that's just. It's such a cool story. It has me replying back to random numbers. Yeah, and the other day I got one. Some lady wanted me to buy healthcare insurance and I'm like, do you want to go on a date? Guess what? They don't reply. No, they don't.
Speaker 3:They don't reply after that, that's a good way to get rid of spam.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. So you know you're keeping me hopeful.
Speaker 3:Every time I make like a real about our story, there's people like oh, I'm going to send texts to random numbers and see what comes out.
Speaker 2:Back to my days when I drank drunk texting. It's not the same thing and there's a reason it doesn't work out.
Speaker 1:And plus it's different times. Now, 2009 was completely different.
Speaker 3:Yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 1:With text, random text, you'd be like, okay, this is somebody that's not a solicitor.
Speaker 2:Trying to sell health care insurance to self-employed. So after you've sent a text, you've connected, so you talked a few times. How did the vetting process go? How did you make sure that he was legit?
Speaker 3:So I remember the. The following day he called me and I purpose I saw my phone ring and I did not answer on purpose because I was like I really hope he leaves a voicemail so that I can hear his voice. Maybe by the sound of his voice I can kind of get an idea.
Speaker 1:I mean, does he sound like a crazy guy? How do I sound right now? How you doing?
Speaker 3:He did leave a voicemail and I remember I was like listening to it I'm like, okay, he sounds kind of cute, maybe I'll call him back. And I did. And we started talking on the phone and I felt like we connected super quick. Um, and I was at a point in my life where I was never into like just dating, just to date. And let's go here, and I wanted to be a wife, I wanted to be a mom and I wanted a family, and so I was looking for qualities like what would make you a good dad, what would make you a good husband, things like that. And so we initially started conversing and it was like deep conversations.
Speaker 1:I think it was right away yeah, but we we also exchanged facebooks oh yeah, it was fairly new back then, yeah, and mine had a picture of me with my cat on my shoulders and your head like you had shaved.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I used to shave my hair no, no facial hair. No, I mean, I shaved today actually and I've never been a cat person, so that was like oh, he has a cat.
Speaker 2:So a cat's a red flag? Huh, was was Orange flag.
Speaker 1:Orange.
Speaker 2:Okay, that's good to know.
Speaker 1:But vetting she.
Speaker 3:Oh. So we started talking and I was like, oh, my goodness, I really like him, I feel like I'm falling in love, but also, hey, you've never met him. So I didn't really know what to do. And then I was like, hey, my mom lives in Ohio, I am going to tell my mom about this guy.
Speaker 1:And I called my mom that was actually Newport Kentucky, so it's right over the border I mean she used to live in Centerville.
Speaker 3:Ohio and then moved to Newport Kentucky.
Speaker 1:Cincinnati area yeah.
Speaker 3:So I Newport, kentucky, cincinnati area, yeah. So I called my mom and I'm like, hey, there's this guy that like I met by accident and I kind of really like him, but also he could be a total creep, like I don't know. And my mom was excited. She's like, well, where does he work at? What gym does he go to?
Speaker 3:I will go and check him out for you she said mom, oh yeah and I'm like, well, if you want to meet him, why don't I tell isaiah that you're interested in meeting him and maybe you guys can talk? And so I told isaiah. I'm like, hey, my mom would like to meet you. Uh, why don't you give her a call?
Speaker 1:this is her phone number yeah, so we set up a date. Uh, it was me and her mom and her younger sister, because her younger sister roxanna lived with her mom, and her younger sister because her younger sister Roxanna lived with her mom at the time. We went to El Mason on West Alex in the Miamisburg area, west Carrollton, ohio, and we had our date there Before I met Brenda.
Speaker 3:He actually met my mom younger sister before me.
Speaker 2:Did they make a little cut out of you Like sitting at the table Like? This is what she looks like.
Speaker 3:Well, we already knew what we looked like because of our Facebooks. It went well.
Speaker 1:She was sitting at home waiting for her mom to call. I was pantsing back and forth.
Speaker 3:I was nervous yeah.
Speaker 2:Really, yeah, Well, now what if mom fell for him and then and then and then? She never called you.
Speaker 3:No, no way, he is not her type.
Speaker 2:Well, hopefully she doesn't watch this.
Speaker 3:No, she knows, I'm joking.
Speaker 2:That's funny.
Speaker 3:And then, so I remember, my sister called and they went to the restroom and they called me and I'm like so you know what's going on? And my sister's like, oh my goodness, brenda, he is huge, he's bigger than the door.
Speaker 1:I'm only six foot one.
Speaker 3:We're like tiny petite Mexicans short. So it was like I don't know, he's huge.
Speaker 2:So what were you doing for a living down there? What was everybody doing before they came together?
Speaker 3:Oh, my goodness, I was doing so many things. So I ended up moving to Georgia because I wanted to be closer to my sister, who was living there at the time. She was recently married.
Speaker 3:I was like okay, my sister who was living there at the time, she was recently married. I was like, okay, I'm going to go hang out with you. And when I was living there, I was working at a photography studio and that's where I sent the accidental text. Um, and then when I moved to Ohio, I had quit my job. I actually gave my resignation letter, cause I I had to ask for some days off for Christmas, and then, very last minute, was like, oh, you can't have these because, like, we're going on a vacation, you have to stay at this studio.
Speaker 2:Yeah it's like some old mill stuff.
Speaker 3:And so I was like I've never been alone for Christmas and this is not going to be my first time.
Speaker 1:So backpedal on that story. That's part of how we met.
Speaker 3:So I was, like we're going to, I'm going to resign, and I packed my car and moved to Ohio.
Speaker 1:So that area, that part of the story.
Speaker 3:The reason why I quit. He'll tell you.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So we kept talking. And then her mom invited me to Minnesota for Christmas and I was working at Kroger at the time and retail's busy. I was like, well, I asked for the time off. They gave me the time off and so, uh, the plan was to go meet her, uh, family up in Minnesota for Christmas. And then, uh, that happened with her work, she had the time scheduled off, she ended up taking it, she ended up resigning, and then we actually met each other December 1st and, face to face, we saw each other the first time December 1st and we made it official that we were going to date with the intention to get married. And, uh, christmas went well. We drove up there from Ohio with her sister along with us.
Speaker 3:My sister's always been the third wheeler.
Speaker 1:Oh really, she's lived with us a few times.
Speaker 3:I love her. Yeah, she's great and she looks a lot like me too.
Speaker 2:Well, we'll talk about that later.
Speaker 1:So we went to Minnesota and that went very well. Long story short, we ended up getting engaged February 14th 2010, and got married the month that she was planning on moving here initially, if she was going to stay in Georgia until her lease was up, which was June 2010.
Speaker 2:Wow, you guys like once you know, you know, you know you know, yeah, there's no reason to wait around when the chemistry is there. Yeah, wow, no reason to wait around when the chemistry is there.
Speaker 1:Wow, no reason to be engaged for years.
Speaker 3:Oh, dragging it on.
Speaker 1:For us, right, it's okay if people do that, but for us there was no reason yeah, it's going to look different for everybody, yep.
Speaker 2:Oh, this is wild. It's just wild because you don't hear much of this. So when this happened, uh, you got. You got married. What year? June 2010,. June of 2010. So about okay. So when did the first baby come along?
Speaker 3:I mean, I literally got pregnant the month after we got married.
Speaker 2:April, april 2011. So you did it by the book, but barely.
Speaker 3:Yeah, honeymoon, let's get this done, it's honeymoon?
Speaker 2:Yeah, for sure, wow, and so all right. So tell us about the kids.
Speaker 3:Oh, my goodness.
Speaker 2:There's a few of them right.
Speaker 3:Just a few, a little bit I love them.
Speaker 2:I would hope you do, we would have a problem.
Speaker 3:But not only do I love them normal, like how any mom, I think, would love their kid. I like I am obsessed with my kids. Like I love them. I love everything about them. I'm so proud of them. I like I am in awe of like their personalities and the choices that they make now that they're growing up. I'm just like how did you come out from like this? You know what I mean. Like it's just crazy.
Speaker 1:We're both messed up.
Speaker 3:It's crazy, they are amazing. So, yeah, I got pregnant right away. Victoria was born in 2011. And then Veronica was born 2012. Sammy, 2014. Vanessa, 2015. Benjamin, 2018. And Ezra, our last one, 2021. He was our COVID baby.
Speaker 1:COVID baby. Everybody's got one of those. Now A lot of people do we're home.
Speaker 3:What should we do? All right, let's make a baby.
Speaker 1:Do what we're good at. Yep. I started working from home in 2019 and been since Changed jobs a few times, but been doing that since.
Speaker 2:And what is it you do?
Speaker 1:I'm a contractor for the government. Oh, okay, I remember. Yeah, I've changed a few, I'm still a contractor for the government, just different things.
Speaker 2:Nice, that's exciting.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I had no idea where to start. With that, I review.
Speaker 1:I can say it, I do FOIA requests, so those are called Federal Acquisition. No Federal Freedom of Informations Act, no Federal Freedom of Informations Act. So people can request information about different contracts that have been awarded and there's a process they have to go through and I'm involved with releasing those documents to the requesters. In a nutshell, that's what I do right now. Wow.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that sounds crazy, that sounds really intense.
Speaker 1:There could be a lot of stuff there, intense like camping there could be a lot of intel, yeah but it's all. It's all free to the public if they request it.
Speaker 2:All those yeah, you just gather the information for them. Yep Gotcha. And you are everything under the sun, from social media influencer to mother, to house renovator. I love watching all of the Instagram and watching your house just come together.
Speaker 3:I'm having so much fun.
Speaker 2:Tell us about this house.
Speaker 3:Oh, my goodness.
Speaker 2:Well, first of all, I'm excited because you moved here to Wayne County, cambridge City. Are you liking it?
Speaker 3:So far. Yeah, yeah, the town is amazing where we live. People are so friendly, very welcoming. It feels peaceful.
Speaker 2:Nice, I thought you'd love it. I know, when we talked before you moved from like main street down there, it's just like so cool Antiques, everything right up your alley, and then you know, uh, the number nine grill. We'll have to do that sometime. That's a. That's a. If you haven't been there, yet it was good, yeah, yeah, beautiful place, but yeah, so tell us about this home. It's special.
Speaker 3:This house is everything I've ever dreamed for, and more so when our whole process for selling our house was very draining emotionally. It was a nightmare. I almost wanted to give up so many times and I was like we're never going to find our, our, the house that we need as a family, or the house that I've always dreamed of. And so I was like I'm done, don't show me any more houses, I don't want to see anything anymore. We're done Like I give up. And then some days went by and he sent me he'd send me a text for a link for the house and I opened the link and I'm like Isaiah, we have to. I know I told you I gave up, but now we have to come see this house. The pictures were just like amazing the Tulsa. I was like I have to go see it. I have to go see it Cause you know, sometimes the pictures will look really nice. And then you go and it's like, oh, this is crap.
Speaker 2:I'm guilty of doing that to some homes.
Speaker 3:So I was like I want to see it in person. And the moment I stepped foot in the front door I was like this has to be my house, like I don't know how, but it has to be mine. I want it, and it took us an entire year maybe a little bit over that to get it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so we backed out of selling our house.
Speaker 2:Had some issues. A few months in Selling is so frustrating.
Speaker 1:After I came over and took pictures no, that was the second time we relisted it with you, okay, but the first time it was a nuisance and so we backed out. We're like, forget it, we're not going to move. And then I got on one of the house listing sites and that house was still up for sale. So I was like, hey, brenda, it's still up for sale, are you interested in maybe?
Speaker 3:getting out of this house. Not only was it still for sale, but they had cut the price down a bit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they did Really, so I was like okay.
Speaker 1:So we got a hold of our realtor again who showed us it initially, and he said, yeah, let's get out there, met the owner and a few other individuals, came out to check some things for us that I requested and other individuals came out to check some things for us that I requested and went really well. And then we started. We relisted our house. And that's when it was, I knew, since they asked for like 10 different things, I did everything they asked, but it was, it was hard, it was tight, uh, time and money and all that stuff, but we did it, pushed through, kept telling myself do we really want this house? I can either just stop doing this and just be comfortable in this place or push forward.
Speaker 2:It was too small. Though it was too small.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was too small and so I chose to bite the bullet and keep going. Get the things done that they wanted and we were able to close and sell the other house. Things done that they wanted and we were able to close and sell the other house. It was huge burden off of the shoulders because that was uh much needed so this is a 1800s victorian, is that?
Speaker 3:yeah, so it's like italianist italianist, I don't know how to pronounce it style house. Um, it was built in 1850s. From what I've gathered online, it could be 1845. I'm not completely sure. A beautiful house. It's historically known as the Churchill Birch's home.
Speaker 2:Churchill.
Speaker 3:Dritchell.
Speaker 2:Dritchell.
Speaker 3:Andrew Dritchell. He was a baker and a farmer. He immigrated here from Germany with his wife Katherine, and they both died on the property of natural causes.
Speaker 2:Insert spooky music here.
Speaker 1:We don't have any issues.
Speaker 3:I know, but people love learning about that.
Speaker 2:So where did you go to the library, or did you research?
Speaker 3:So before the house became ours, I told you I became obsessed with this house and I was like looking online for all the history. I went on Ancestry and I subscribed and was paying a monthly subscription just so I could do the family tree for every single family that lived in the house before. That's how crazy, I am.
Speaker 2:What'd you get yourself into I?
Speaker 1:was just fascinated.
Speaker 3:I'm like I want to know everything about this house, who lived here and what they do and how many kids that they have. And I found so many news articles of like um, I guess Andrew, uh, used to like host parties and you know, back then they didn't have any like radios or anything like that. So they would print newspaper to like let people from the town know what's going on and they would put oh, andrew, george, ellen's family are hosting a party. Um, his house is great for hosting and blah blah, and I'm like that's my house now.
Speaker 2:That's, that's awesome.
Speaker 3:It's super cool.
Speaker 2:That's really amazing. I get, you know, I see all these houses. I've seen tons of houses doing pictures and stuff and I've always. You know, you get out in the country, the back roads, and you see some of these homes and I'm the same way kind of although I don't't go to ancestrycom and see what their DNA was but I love like just seeing these homes, especially like vacant they're old like, and just thinking about like who the families were that maybe lived there, what kind of celebrations they had outside. I was on one the other day that had an old porch swing out in the middle of the woods and I was just kind of thinking like imagine the conversations had and stuff like that, like how life was back then for them.
Speaker 2:Right. So it's kind of neat that you're kind of like reviving this old house you went from. I know we talked about off of the air. You went from how many square feet to how many square feet 1800 to about 5,600.
Speaker 1:That's crazy, it's crazy.
Speaker 3:It's crazy, like our hallway is the size of what my dining room used to be.
Speaker 2:Like it is it's.
Speaker 3:It still takes me a while to like. I walk around the house and I'm like it feels like I'm renting someone's Airbnb and it's not fully mine. And then I'm like, wait a minute, no, it is mine. Like I get to live here with my family. This is crazy. The backyard it's amazing. We got like five and a half acres. Most of it is woods.
Speaker 1:Put a zip line up for the kids.
Speaker 2:You did or you are.
Speaker 1:No, I did.
Speaker 2:I got another one on the way but uh, now are they for the kids.
Speaker 1:No, I ride it, I ride it too.
Speaker 3:It can hold me.
Speaker 2:So I'm, I'm on it. It's fun. You should come. That's the next one. We'll do another episode out. There Sounds good, That'll be fine. That's crazy. That's. That's cool, though. I really love this cause. Um, you know, this is not every day. Um, you get a random text message and then it turns into this Um, it's crazy.
Speaker 1:Our backstories are kind of a knowing, knowing how both of us were before we even met each other and where we are now. It makes it even more powerful astounding share some of that you.
Speaker 3:You go first well, I mean, mine is not as interesting as yours depends on who you talk. I was born and raised in mexico and I moved to the usa when I was 12, about to be 13, um, and we went straight from Monterrey, mexico, to Minnesota, brooklyn Park, minnesota. So huge change, not only culturally, but like I didn't speak any English back then, so that was a huge shock.
Speaker 3:The area where we lived it was not how do you say it it was mostly predominantly white. There was no Hispanics, latinos or anything like that. So I was very rare. I was a rare specimen. Even the high school that we went to it was tough. I did not like high school at all. Was it's the time that I don't really like to talk about that much?
Speaker 1:I feel like it was kind of traumatic maybe she was topping her class in mexico, and when she came over here, it wasn't the same well, when you add like language to it, there's a huge barrier.
Speaker 3:that's why I fell in love with math, because numbers are the same no matter what country you're from. Like math is still gonna the same. But all the other subjects I was struggling, um, and then I was taking ESL English as a second language. Um, so that's how I learned my English, by immersion and um, so, anyway, yeah, I lived in Minnesota for I don't know 10, 11 years, maybe, I don't know 10 11 years maybe, and after that I moved to Georgia and a bunch of other places.
Speaker 3:Wow, okay, um, but yeah, again, my story's not as interesting.
Speaker 2:I can't imagine moving to Minnesota from Mexico. Yeah, it was crazy and we moved here.
Speaker 3:I remember I got there it was like middle of October, so that's like at the beginning of winter Crazy.
Speaker 2:The food's not even the same, is it? No, no.
Speaker 3:I mean not even here. I go to a Mexican restaurant, it's like that's not even close, not even our like.
Speaker 2:We have French and cheese. We have hole in the walls like El Tribol.
Speaker 3:I have been to that one. That one is good.
Speaker 2:Is it close?
Speaker 3:Yes, there's another one in Miamisburg. I had some tacos there and they were amazing I can't remember the name of it and then another one. If you want authentic Mexican food from Oaxaca, go to Sueño in Dayton.
Speaker 1:That's an Ohio, very good place. It's an Oregon district.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Going to uh Jeff Ruby's tonight. It's not Mexican food, but it's a nice steakhouse in Cincinnati somewhere.
Speaker 3:Oh nice, yeah, I mean, I'm sure there's a lot of really good places. I am just not a foodie, like I'm not out there going out in restaurants and stuff like that, so I wouldn't know so what was your backstory?
Speaker 2:I feel like you might have murdered somebody or something.
Speaker 1:Man, she used to say, you look like a she said I, when I used to shave my head. She said I looked like a murderer's like stop wearing those You're intimidating me.
Speaker 3:You look like a criminal. You're going to Kroger with this, like your shaved head, your wife beater shirts. I'm like at least smile.
Speaker 1:They're just going to give you their money.
Speaker 3:He is very intimidating. Here's a ticket, okay, yeah.
Speaker 1:So I grew up in Ohio, dayton, ohio, actually sorry, waynesville first, no, sorry, dayton, then Waynesville, then back to Centerville, which is close to Dayton. I was raised in a Baptist Pentecostal church. My parents got divorced when I was I don't know early teens I want to say 13, 14, 15, maybe somewhere around there. I have one older sister, one younger brother, joshua and Hannah. We lived with my mom in an apartment in Centerville after my parents got divorced.
Speaker 1:My mom would interpret for the deaf during the weekdays at, uh, I think, mainly at Sinclair community college, and then on the weekends she would uh take care of mentally handicapped women. So as older women she would stay in the as a group home. She would stay there Friday, Saturday, come back Sunday. So I say that to say uh had a lot of free time. Mom wasn't home ever. Um, I, uh, I want to say uh I w. I went to private school up until my parents got divorced and then I got introduced in the public school no, sorry, got introduced to public school when we moved to waynesville after we moved there from dayton because it was just cheaper you didn't have to pay for it, um, and so I got introduced to a lot of different things.
Speaker 1:uh uh, language and sign language diversity, yeah, no not not nice sign language stuff, yeah, um, and so I got introduced to a lot of things that I was never I was. That's one thing. Uh, I was. I want to say I was sheltered as growing up in that Christian home. Um, and looking back, I feel, raising our kids, it's better to insulate your children than isolate them, because if you isolate them, if you isolate yourself from stuff like uh and you get exposed to different things, you're going to be weaker, but if you insulate, then you're prepared for whatever the things may be. Um, so I take that approach to raising our children insulate them, don't isolate, because we were made for relationships and for not to isolate ourselves from people that are different than us either. It's important to be exposed to all different walks of life so that we can love each other better. That's what it's all about. But so I was always by myself. My mom was never home, and so I started smoking cigarettes, then marijuana, then got involved with alcohol, mad Dog, 2020. I guess people are coming across that now they're like, oh, this is the newest thing. It's like, no, that stuff is that stuff is bad. Bad news.
Speaker 1:Local village pantry, right, and uh, I used to go to heavy metal concerts every weekend. Uh, static x, system of Static X, system of a Down, slipknot, system of a Down. I saw them when they first came over here to the US. A lot of heavy metal concerts. I would drink a bottle of tequila from Centerville to Cincinnati. That took it's about an hour drive-ish, so I would drink a whole bottle and be toasted by the time we got there. I got involved with a lot of drugs, everything you can think of, except for heroin.
Speaker 1:Wow, I did all that stuff and I would sell it to, and warm and cheerful Centerville. I don't know how it?
Speaker 1:is now, I'm sure it's worse, and this was back in 2000. Also, school-wise, I was not good in school. I did not like school. I would probably be labeled as ADHD. Uh, just a side note, I think that some schools label kids ADHD just cause they're not learning how they're supposed to be learning according to the system. Because, uh, because everybody learns differently. But I didn't like school.
Speaker 1:I was a second-year senior. I was in the OWE, owa and the success programs. They were pilot programs for kids who didn't like school and who just always got in trouble, and I learned how to do my taxes and useful things, how to interview for jobs, so that was beneficial. How to interview for jobs, so that was beneficial. But I did all those different things for gosh, probably about three or four years, really deep into it, when I went to people's houses, I would drink 40 beers a night. I would shotgun them, just find a spot next to the sink and just shotgun. I was up to 40. I didn't. I didn't drink them every night, but when I was drinking I drank with a purpose, um, and so I did that for about three or four years. And, uh, I remember laying in bed at night just feeling empty, um, and I believe personally that we all have a God-spaced hole and only God can fill it. We try to find it, fill it with other different things, but personally I feel like that's the only thing that can really make us feel fulfilled a relationship with him, and of course I don't force that upon anybody. With him and, uh, and of course I don't force that upon anybody. Um, with my background and all, I should be able to interact with just about anybody. Yeah, so um and uh. I'll say there is no moment in time where I uh made a turn. It was more gradual. I remember being in the bar with my buddies, um and I, just I was drinking and it just felt empty and and uh, I w I lost the desire for things One thing after another. I was not, I was not trying to quit. I and uh.
Speaker 1:I went to my grandpa's funeral one time and, uh, one of his, this individual, came up to me and said hey, is your name Isaiah? I said yeah. He said, uh, your grandpa prayed for you every day at prayer breakfast, and that really hit me. So I started church hopping. I used to bar hop, so I took the same concept. I was like I'm going to go church hopping see what this God is all about. I slept with a Bible next to me. I had my Bible since I was a little before my parents got divorced. I still have it. It's missing all of Genesis and Exodus though, because the cover fell off, so pages have been falling out slowly. So I would go church hopping and I went to Lutheran churches, catholic churches, non-denominationals and Pentecostals and all the different ones. And my friend invited me to a Revelation seminar at a Seventh-day Adventist church, and so I went, and don't Google it, google will tell you all kinds of lies. What's it called? Seventh-day Adventist church?
Speaker 3:Okay, Now he's going to Google it. Oh, you know I will.
Speaker 1:Well yeah, I'm going to chat GPT. Yeah, so I'll tell you. I went to the seminar. I didn't go to every single night, but the pastor who was there, he stayed after and would answer all my questions like an hour or two after I just had so many questions. I decided to get baptized, not because I wanted to secure a place in heaven, because it's more of an outward showing of what's going on inside of the heart.
Speaker 1:I believe in a relationship with Jesus is what saves us, not works and different things like that. I believe that when you love somebody, you do things that make them happy. That's what a marriage is supposed to be, and I believe that relationship with God should be the same way. And what's cool is, every person has a different one with him, has a different relationship. It's not a set way of how to do things. Of course, there are the Ten Commandments, but our walk with God is different. Everybody's is, and so we should never hold ourselves up on a pedestal looking down upon others because they're not attaining to the level that we're at with God, because if we have that mindset, then we need to check ourselves.
Speaker 2:I love that. I love that a lot because that keeps a lot of people like me away from church.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it kept me away from church. Actually, my friends would come to me while I was drinking and be like, oh God is going to burn you one day. I was like, I don't care about your God, I'm not interested in him at all. Um and uh. But going to the church and all that stuff, I I found out what he was like and uh, it made a big impact on me and uh, I lost a lot of friends. I don't want to say I pushed him away, but lifestyle changed and uh that lifestyle changed.
Speaker 1:I think I maybe keep in contact with one or two of them still, but I have what I need my wife and my kids. That's my main focus right now. But I say all that to say, coming from all that to where I'm at now, it's a miracle. Miracle, I should say it is and it's.
Speaker 2:It's all um shit that I need to hear, I think we all, I think we all know it hits home really well. Um so when you you said you didn't have anything that happened where you just like flip the light switch, so like when you were church hopping, were you still, uh, drinking occasionally? Were you still anything?
Speaker 1:when I went to the catholic church for communion. Yeah, well, they have to I guess it's like it's fermented there.
Speaker 1:Uh, so it was at the lutheran church too, but when I was going to do the church hopping no, I did not. I wasn't involved with any of that stuff at that point in my life and, like I said, it was just one thing after another Just lost the desire, and I never had the desire after that either. That's what's weird, but it's not really weird. I'm grateful. I know my parents were praying for me. I'm sure they still do, and I believe that was just an answer to prayer. I know some people can say well, on this date I accepted Jesus and different things like that. I don't work that way. It's a progression in the relationship of getting to know who God is, and he's very patient, unlike us.
Speaker 2:Right, we're so fast-paced, we want everything now, yep, everything yesterday, yeah, and yeah, everything yesterday yeah. And it's like all or nothing. Yep, I don't think how I don't think. I think, if we take an all or nothing approach, that's what sets us up for failure. And not just, you know, finding Jesus, but everything our diets, our exercise programs, and that's, it's not all or nothing.
Speaker 1:I think our diets, our exercise programs are, and that's. It's not all or nothing, yep, it's. You got the main goal right here, but there's, there's the little, the little steps, and you may not get there to the final goal that you want in your eyes, but as long as uh, there was a good example, uh, uh, pastor Winston Baldwin. He passed away a couple of years ago. He was the one who I spent a lot of time with after the seminars, answering all my questions.
Speaker 1:We built a good relationship, but he once told me, he said your relationship with God. And you can take this and apply it to just about everything in life. When you're you got a target and you're aiming your bow and arrow at it, you may miss, but you're still in the right direction, right? You're not turning around away from the target. And as long as you're facing that target, you're trying, you're choosing to make choices to attain towards that, whatever it may be, um, in this instance, a relationship with God. He blesses you for that and he doesn't look down on you for screwing up like humans do.
Speaker 2:Man.
Speaker 3:I told you, his story is more interesting than mine.
Speaker 2:Well, it's crazy because I'm, you know, I've went through a lot of stuff and a lot of it's self-inflicted and everything else, but alcohol was always the common denominator, you know. So it's kind of cool when I meet people that aren't perfect, because everyone, you know, whether it's social media or big marketing, corporate stuff, makes you want like you know, the magazines makes you feel like everyone's perfect. Then you have a hard time saying, well, I'm not, you know. So the power of vulnerability has been huge with me, and then it's great hearing your story. I am.
Speaker 2:This makes me think of someone, um, down in suburbial Tennessee that I met. Um, he was a uh, alcoholic, uh, and then he did a lot of cocaine and everything else and, uh, he was a radio DJ. So I don't know if it was like their MO or what, but, um, hey, he, he got his shit together and then he met summer and, uh, he, he met her, uh, she was a waitress at a restaurant, um, and he would go in and see, you know, she, she talked him into trying the pie they had. It was like a little country restaurant in Tennessee and stuff, stuff, and he had the biggest crush on her and they got married and um they got two two daughters beautiful daughters and their um summer's mom and dad own hidden mountain resort. So that's how I got to know them really well, and so it's just I love seeing people like you and and then him um people like you and and then him um fuck up a lot in life, like I have before and still overcome those demons.
Speaker 1:It's encouraging. Yeah, we all need that. I'll tell you when, uh, covet hit. I feel like that's when people needed that. That's when, like, for instance, brenda's, her instagram took off because of postpartum stuff that she would share on there. People weren't talking about it and she shared her personal experience with that and that really, a lot of people were like, yeah, this is. I can relate.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, it's what they can relate to, what they see on social media. If they can relate to it, they can relate to that.
Speaker 3:Like you said, social media it's like all about this perfect life, you know, like your highlight reels, and obviously you highlight the beautiful part of your life and while I still do that obviously I'm not going to lie, it's still pretty pictures and still pretty things I'm still very, I'm an empath, I'm very, very vulnerable.
Speaker 3:I have an open book and basically what you see is what you get, and so I'm very um open with my struggles with postpartum depression and like body image and all of these different things that I went through after I had my babies and I started sharing those online and women related to that and you help people feel seen and heard and valued and they're gonna gravitate towards you, because that's what we need. We need to feel like we're not alone and that's really what made me grow on social media was just like sharing who I am, without any covers on.
Speaker 2:Right, that's, that's big and you got like 119,000 followers and stuff.
Speaker 3:Yeah, right now yes.
Speaker 2:You know I, I tell people um, you know it's easy to like, oh, I got 119. You, you're, you don't brag about that. No, you enjoy what you do on your platform. You, if you had three followers, if you had millions of followers or whatever, you enjoy what you're doing and you're connecting with people because you can relate to people.
Speaker 3:Exactly. I always tell they're like oh, my goodness, you're popular in your families.
Speaker 2:I'm like, I'm literally just a mom with an iphone, just like sharing my living, my best living, my best life I'm not like I I could care less.
Speaker 3:I mean, obviously I care because I want people to like I wanna. If, at the end of the day, I can make somebody feel like they are not alone, then I've done my job. I've done like my mission. That's why I care. But the numbers and all that stuff, like it could be just one person following me and it's fine.
Speaker 2:That's what I call vanity metrics. Those don't count, but you've probably saved lives.
Speaker 3:I hope so.
Speaker 2:You probably like, and you know I've talked to the J Creek Cloggers. I don't know if do you do? Do you flip over tick tock?
Speaker 2:I am on tech talk, mostly to scroll okay, but I'm not familiar so do you remember during covered um, long-haired guy with the blue shirt doing the clog dancing, and it was a team jake creek cloggers, zeb ross he went viral on everything, on everything. Um, they didn't even know what tick tock was. Uh, someone else posted a video of them. They went viral and it's just the friendliest looking, happy, go lucky. People called dancing in the backwoods of the Carolinas and, um, I was in my darkest days when I think, when I seen that stuff, and so when you're in a dark world, you just rely on this all day long.
Speaker 3:Because you're disassociating.
Speaker 2:You're trying to get out of the real world. So I would watch TikTok like nonstop. And I came across Zeb and the JCree cloggers doing their dancing and they were just as happy as could be. They weren't drunk, they weren't doing stupid shit, they weren't like all this thing, but they were still happy and they loved life. And so I just like gravitated towards all of this and I just I didn't, I couldn't figure out who he was because none of them were on social media.
Speaker 2:And then he was, because none of them were on social media. And then, um, I found his mother on facebook and I sent her her a message and, um, and then I was just like you guys are amazing. Uh, is there any way? Um, you guys would want to do a podcast with me sometime? And she was like sure, and she called me and she talked to me for like hours and I'm like this is just wild, because at that point they just he just opened up for Cole Swindell. And then he, they had him on the CMAs, not the last round, but the year before he was on the CMAs, peyton Manning, but the year before he was on the CMAs, peyton Manning had him jump up on the stage and do his clog dancing and stuff.
Speaker 2:But yeah, we did a podcast. We did it remotely but we got to talking about this, about the mental health aspect of delivering that content. That does relate with people. Delivering that content that does it does relate with people. And, um, mom, she's, she told me, she said she got a message one time from a guy who was like literally in his vehicle with a gun that was just scrolling endlessly on Tik TOK and he, he was about to, um, end it all but just kept seeing all these happy faces and stuff. And then he's like you literally saved my life at night. And so there's probably, you know, um, I used paramedic and stuff, so I dealt with pregnant women and in their postpartum depression and all that stuff. That's real, that's real and it's it's it's bad. So if you're, if you share them stories on your Instagram and stuff like that, I imagine you've reached people that I'm sure you've saved at least one or two lives.
Speaker 3:I hope so, I hope so.
Speaker 2:That's super cool. It's really cool. Today is my 555th day sober.
Speaker 3:Congratulations.
Speaker 2:Talking about, the alcohol stuff. That's awesome. So my buddy that you kind of reminded me of with your story, he said nothing's more powerful than a sober alcoholic, and you're proof of that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I jack of all trades addictions, but yeah well, I mean it's, I don't know.
Speaker 2:I think I think when you're at that rock bottom and then you're like, no, I got places to be, you know, I got things I need to accomplish in life here's the funny, though is I didn't plan any of this.
Speaker 1:You're just on your phone. I didn't plan Well no, I didn't even plan what I'm doing for work. I didn't plan to have a family. I didn't plan to have kids. I didn't plan to even live in a house. My plan was to stay working at Kroger, keep drinking on the weekends and just live with my friends in apartments the rest of my life. That's what my goal was. I don't think my goal and outlook on life changed until God got a hold of me. It says delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. And I believe, on a deeper level, when he comes into your life, he gives you new desires, Because none of these desires were there, Not a one, Not a one Back then you would have been like kids no, no, never, kids.
Speaker 1:No, there's no way I could handle that. Child support no, yeah, but I'm very thankful of where I'm at today. Like you said, what was it? Something alcoholic? Nothing more powerful than a sober alcoholic. Yeah, like you said, what was it?
Speaker 2:something alcoholic nothing more powerful than a sober alcoholic. Yeah.
Speaker 1:I believe those stories that people have getting delivered from those different lifestyles gives hope to people also, because there's a lot of people that feel like they can't do anything with their lives, they're just at the bottom and they're just going to stay there.
Speaker 2:And it's not the case it's, it is easy to get discouraged um it is but it's, it's, it's not the case.
Speaker 2:You're living proof, I'm living proof, paul, he was living proof. Um, because I, you know, I wasn't brought up in a household that you know. My parents they split right when I was born, pretty much and stuff and a family of addictions and everything else and yada, yada, yada, and I could, I could chalk everything up to that and stay at home all day and until the world until life ends, I guess. But there's a lot of people that do that. Yeah, it's not good.
Speaker 1:Not cool. Well, way out, there's a way out?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, definitely, um, any closing remarks, any, anything that you guys want to say. I mean, I appreciate you coming up here.
Speaker 1:I'm thinking there's a few things.
Speaker 3:Um, I'm thinking there's a few things, gosh, my biggest thing with, like us sharing our story of how we met and stuff like that is like I say I said we are made for relationships. I think nowadays, because there's so much spam and so much junk and things like that, we put up all of these walls and all of these masks and we kind of hide who we are. Um, but we're made for relationships and you cannot have a genuine relationship if you don't have vulnerability. Um, so you have to unmask yourself, you have to work on yourself, um, mental health, all that stuff. Like go deeper, peel those layers, figure out what it is that's causing these triggers, or go to therapy and like heal yourself so that you can have healthy relationships with those around us. Because that's truly what I think being human is all about is relationships loving people the healthy, right way and then being loved in return. There's nothing more beautiful and powerful than that.
Speaker 1:And staying away from perfect people. Yeah, there's yeah. There's a lot of surface level conversation. I don't want to build relationships with people that want surface level conversations. I don't have time for that anymore. Need relationships on a deeper level where you can actually connect because we need connection.
Speaker 1:This world is going to crap we see it all around North Carolina, all that stuff and people need people and in the end, that's where a lot of the help is going to come from is from people who actually love and care for others. Back to that right.
Speaker 3:And you really don't have to look hard. Love truly is all around us, in little ways and little things. I was just sharing a story on my Instagram on our way here. I'm like the world is full of opportunities and beautiful people, like just how we met you by us selling our house and you coming to take pictures. And now we get to be here and share our story in your platform and like that's amazing, that's beautiful, that's love, it's everywhere.
Speaker 2:Cause none of that. And it's everywhere. Because none of that and it's. Yeah, there's just so many things that the stars align. It's like how did that happen? Yeah you get to the point you don't even question how anymore yeah, it's the ripple effect.
Speaker 3:It just keeps growing bigger and bigger just in for the ride.
Speaker 2:Right, that's what I'm doing it's a wild ride ride yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, cause I, I went to, so I told you I ended up getting my GED. I was a two year senior. I didn't graduate high school. We got my GED, got married and then, uh, didn't know what to do. So I was like, oh, just go to college online and get an associates in healthcare administration, then got a bachelor's in business management. Business, not business, business, all about that business. That's 2000s, early 2000s songs. I got my bachelor's in business management, didn't know what to do with it. I'm using it now, but I just didn't know what to do, didn't have any direction. But I'm just riding now, just going with the flow, and it's going good.
Speaker 2:It'd be hard to change anything. You got a team of seven against you now. I don't think you're changing much, nope. Well, I'm excited to come out and see these zip lines. Yeah for sure, you got another one on the way.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'll probably set it up on Sunday.
Speaker 2:I feel like there'll be a lot of videos to be had.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, everywhere in the house is just so fun, so fun to live there. It's so cool.
Speaker 2:Like a field trip yeah, it feels like a there it's so cool. Like a field trip yeah, it feels like every day.
Speaker 3:I'm like it's just. I am like living the best life.
Speaker 2:That's awesome.
Speaker 3:I love. I love everything about my life.
Speaker 2:That's amazing. Well, thanks for coming up here and uh being on this episode of life unscripted, and uh, it won't be the last time either, I'm sure.
Speaker 3:I hope not. I've enjoyed this a lot.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely yeah thanks for having us there was one other thing the reason why we got on the Tamron Hall show and interviewed by USA Today and all the different newspapers because of a TikTok video it was. I don't remember the song.
Speaker 3:I don't remember, but it was basically like a trend where you would have the start of a nice relationship and how it like went to crap, basically how it ended up being toxic. And so I used that trend to like kind of show the opposite of how. Like we started crazy and random, but then like turned into this amazing thing and it went viral. It got like over five million views and I started getting reached by magazines, newspapers and but she did not want to do anything that year.
Speaker 1:That was year 2022, right?
Speaker 3:um 2023.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think so, yeah, her dad, died my dad passed away in january and she said she was going to take time off from social media at the end of january. She's like oh, I saw this, I'm just gonna do this post on tiktok didn't really think anybody would see it, I mean yeah, no intentions yeah, wow and then he went crazy and we got invited by all.
Speaker 3:I even had a movie producer reached out to me and be like hey, I want to. I work with son Sonny. So, I think he made uh the movie respect. He was the producer for that movie. And he's like we would love to make a movie about your story. Um, nothing really came out of that. Then had a strike, uh the writer's strike, so that gonna push back and he never reached back.
Speaker 3:But just having somebody reach out to you with that potential opportunity, it was like, ah, this is amazing there's a um lamford's his first or his last name.
Speaker 2:He's from richmond but he's a director of photography for like Top Gun and a lot of other movies. So I wonder, if that would be something he'd want to look at.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we did a bunch of interviews and like FaceTimed and like he took a lot of notes and he was really excited, but then like nothing came out of it.
Speaker 2:Yep the strike screwed things up. Well, it's a positive story and people need that.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:People need that. You know. Uh admits GTA on their Xbox and stuff Great.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:All the bad stuff out there. They need to hear the story and see.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's uplifting. It's gives people hope and happiness.
Speaker 2:Very cool. Well, let's wrap this up. Appreciate it.
Speaker 1:Life Inscripted with
