Ep.1 Siblings! A Frightening New Development

Welcome to Cheese! A Healthy Fruit. In this episode we share with you the story of how Cheese! A Healthy Fruit got it's name, the story of how Jade and Cydel met A.K.A Cydel's birth, and some Wisconsin fact that you may not have ever heard before!

Sources: 
20 Things You May Not Have Known About Wisconsin by Kristen Finstad https://www.travelwisconsin.com/article/tours/20-things-you-may-not-have-known-about-wisconsin
Kristine Powers and Milton Powers

Transcript

Cheese! A Healthy Fruit Ep.1: Siblings! A Frightening New Development

Music
Cydel: Hello and welcome to Cheese! A Healthy Fruit, a podcast where two sisters reminisce on growing up in rural Wisconsin. I’m Cydel Powers.
Jade: And I’m Jade.
Cydel: Also Powers.
Jade: Ah, yeah, I guess I have the same last name. I am unmarried, thank you.
Cydel: Yeah
Jade: I am a spinster, ripe old age of 22.
Cydel: *Laughs* Alright welcome *stammers* this is our first episode.
Jade: This is really awkward *Cydel laughs* to be honest.
Cydel: Yes.
Jade: Mhm.
Cydel: Well, why don’t we start off by setting the stage, *laughs*
Jade: Okay, um
Cydel: By that I mean the fort. *Both laugh*
Jade: Okay. So listen, we are just doing this by the seat of our pants right now. We don’t have money and Cydel just wanted to do this for fun and to see if she could. So we have equipment, we just don’t have the place to use equipment. So we’re currently in a blanket fort.
Cydel: Yes.
Jade: And to be honest, it is hot in here. You said it wasn’t gonna be, but it is. I’m warm.
Cydel: Alright, also um, I’m going to have to warn you all because tonight our parents decided to make as much noise as they possibly could, and our father is watching Halloween right now.
Jade: Yes ‘cause he got a free trial…
Cydel: *Laughs* Yeah.
Jade: of whatever streaming service it’s on right now, but.
Cydel: Yeah. Yeah, so you might hear some noises like talking or like “whoooooooooo”*Jade laughs* ‘Cause for some reason that’s happening in this one. *laughs*
Jade: Yeah, I don’t know, it sounds like a spaceship. Which I didn’t think was in any of the Halloween movies, but who knows.
Cydel: Mhm, mhm it sounds like either space *stutters* space, hmm, like either a spaceship or like collecting feedback so that’s great.
Jade: Mhm
Cydel: It’s, I’m sure that’s wonderful to listen to. *laughs*
Jade: Well, you’ll know ‘cause you gotta edit this.
Cydel: Yeah.
Jade: Good luck Cydel.
Cydel: Anyway, we just made a fort.
Jade: Yes, we did.
Cydel: And it’s a great fort.
Jade: Mhm. *laughs*
Cydel: Alright *laughs*
Jade: Okay
Cydel: So I guess let’s get started. I-I bet you’re all wondering where the Hell Cheese! A Healthy Fruit comes from. *laughs*
Jade: Probably, I don’t think there’s anyone who’s just like “Oh yeah, that’s normal”.
Cydel: Yeah! Cheese is A: healthy and B: a fruit.
Jade: Yes, exactly. So do you want me to start with the story then? To get into it or what-
Cydel: Yes.
Jade: Okay. Alright, so… Why-
Cydel: I was making- I was making noises.
Jade: Why are you making intense eye contact with me right now? Please do not look at- do not perceive me. *Both laugh* I wish to not be perceived. *laughs*
Cydel: Alright tell me the story.
Jade: Okay, so did we ever determine how old we were? ‘Cause we’ve been arguing about this for weeks.
Cydel: *sighs* Uh *lip trills* I think I wrote it down.
Jade: *scoffs* Oh my God. *laughs*
Cydel: It was after we got- it was after we got the Wii. And after we poked the hole in the wall.
Jade: Poked the- wait *sighs* *Cydel laughs* Renovated the basement? *laughs*
Cydel: Yeah. After we opened up the, um, st-st landing of the stairs.
Jade: Yes.
Cydel: So that it goes- went
Both: Goes both ways.
Jade: Yeah, like me.
Cydel: Instead of into a wall- *both laugh*
Jade: Sorry, *laughs* I had to.
Cydel: You’re right I am hot.
Jade: Yeah.
Cydel: My toes are cold, but now I’m sweating in my armpits.
Jade: Well then, put your- *Both Laugh* Oh my God.
Cydel: And my pockets are full of shit!
Jade: *laughs* Yeah, they always are.
Jade: Okay, so should I just jump into the story or can we just- do we just keep doing whatever this is?
Cydel: You can- yeah go into the story. Why not?
Jade: Okay, we’ll just guess what- what is going on. *sighs* Okay, so I was probably-
Cydel: Oh right! You asked me a question.
Jade: Yeah, I was probably in like early middle school,
Cydel: Yup.
Jade: so I was, like, round like a basketball with legs. Um, and..
*Both laugh*
Jade: This was, um, in my not very *laughs* healthy stage of my life to say the least. *Both laugh* More on that later.
Cyde: If you don’t call four corndogs a day-
Jade: Shut- *laughs*
Cydel: *laughs* -and two hot pockets healthy. *Both laugh*
Jade: That’s for another time. *laughs*
Cydel: *Clapping* We are just going to air all your dirty laundry right off the bat. *laughs*
Jade: *Laughs* If we’re gonna air all my dirty laundry we’re gonna air all your dirty laundry.
Cydel: Okay. *laughs*
Jade: Oh my God. Okay, anyway. So I was probably in middle school and you were still in elementary school.
Cydel: Yeah.
Jade: Um, and we had like a game room setup in our basement. Right?
Cydel: Yes.
Jade: Yeah, so we had like an old TV and then we had our Wii down there.
Cydel: Mhm.
Jade: Which was beautiful, iconic Wii.
Cydel: Yeah, I watched The Last Airbender down there and liked it.
Jade: Yes.
Cydel: So I hadn’t seen Avatar yet- *Jade laughs* -and I didn’t understand how much trash it was. *laughs*
Jade: Yeah, how fucked it was. Oh yeah. But I had gone upstairs because, um, well I was hungry to nobody’s surprise. *Both laugh* So I went upstairs and I got a bowl of cheese curds… You gonna fight me on it yet?
Cydel: Correct…
Jade: Okay.
Cydel: What?
Jade: I don’t know! I always feel like you fight me on whatever I was eating- *Cydel laughs* -you’re like “it wasn’t cheese curds, it was slices of cheese”.
Cydel: No, I’m-I’m pretty sure it was cheese curds-
Jade: I think it was cheese curds in a bowl!
Cydel: -you thought it was string cheese.
Jade: It could have been string cheese. I don’t know. Either way-
Cydel: Uh, maybe it could have been string cheese-
Jade: *sighs* Oh my God we have-
Cydel: -when we were getting the two different colored one.
Jade: -we have too much motherfuckin cheese in this house. *both laugh* Okay, we Live in Wisconsin if we haven’t figured that shit out. Oh my God.
Cydel: *laughs* Why do you think I wanted to start with this story?
Jade: We, I think we have like four different varieties of cheese in our house right now.
Cydel: Cottage, *laughs*
Jade: Like I think we do.
Cydel: Parmesan, *laughs*
Jade: Oh fuck. I didn’t even count those, I was counting like bricks of cheese.
Cydel: Mac, *laughs*
Jade: Oh shit. No we have *laughs*, we have, I’m, no, I’m not going into the list. We have way more than four kinds of cheese right now. I can’t do that. Oh my God. So hi.
Cydel: I don’t even look in your parents, like, deli drawer.
Jade: Well it’s not really a deli drawer.
Cydel: Yeah, but it’s always stocked with stuff.
Jade: It’s like leftover ketchup and *both laugh* soy sauce.
Cydel: Yes, but sometimes they put sandwich meat in there… cheese slices.
Jade: Yup, and then it goes in there to die *cydel laughs* ‘cause they forget about that shit. If it’s not on the front shelf- oh my God! This is- oh my gosh. Okay this story is getting out of hand.
Cydel: Yes, right. *laughs*
Jade: I’m sorry this is how all of our conversations go.
Cydel: Well, you shouldn’t have asked me a question.
Jade: I- that was like ten minutes ago! *laughs* Okay, I was eating cheese curds and I came down the stairs. I turned the corner and looked in the new doorway that we had created-
Cydel: Mhm
Jade: -into our game room.
Cydel: Yes.
Jade: And I looked Cydel dead in the eye, with cheese in my mouth, and I said, “cheese! A healthy fruit”. *Cydel laughs* To which, she had no idea what the fuck to do with that.
Cydel: I had no response.
Jade: No there wasn’t. What do you do with that?
Cydel: No.
Jade: And then I wrote it on a sticky note and then stuck it somewhere, and then we found the sticky note later.
Cydel: No, you stuck it directly to our door.
Jade: To our door! I stuck it to our door, that's what I did. Yup, mhm. And I, then I hid it from myself later.
Cydel: And it stayed there for years!
Jade: It did, it did. ‘Cause that shit’s funny. 
Cydel: It is.
Jade: I thought I was a comedic genius.
Cydel: It is really funny.
Jade: Mostly because I wasn’t trying to say fruit.
*Both laugh*
Cydel: What were you trying to say?
Jade: I was trying to say food!
*Both laugh*
Cydel: Well I heard like “froochs” so…
Jade: Well, I’m pretty sure you told mom that I said fruit and I was like “okay”. I was really just, whatever came out of my mouth was not what I intended.
Cydel: Well I didn’t think it was the word fruit. *Jade laughs* You thought it was the word fruit. I thought it was “froochs”, so.
Jade: Yeah I guess. *both laugh* Well that’s ‘cause you don’t understand me.
Cydel: I had absolutely- you don’t understand yourself! *laughs*
Jade: You just don’t understand me.
*both laugh*
Cydel: Alright.
Jade: It’s not a phase.
Cydel: *laughs* Alright. Let me tell you a story.
Jade: Ooh
Cydel: *laughs* About the greatest day on Earth.
Jade: Jesus Christ.
Cydel: The day the whole world held its breath. The beginning of a new era. A day like no other.
Jade: Oh my God.
Cydel: The promised day. *Jade laughs* It was Saturday morning, May 25th, 2002. In a small town in Wisconsin, a humble trailer house. *Jade laughs under her breath* It was Memorial Day Weekend. A family of three plus sleep soundly. *laughs*
Jade: *laughs* Plus?
*Both laugh*
Jade: Three plus?
Cydel: Yes.
Jade: Yeah.
Cydel: Yes, there was a mother
Jade: Mhm.
Cydel: Kristine,
Jade: Mhm.
Cydel: a father
Jade: Mhm.
Cydel: Milton,
Jade: Mhm.
Cydel: a daughter Jade, … and the plus 
*Both laugh*
Jade: The plus, sounds like a horror movie! *Both laugh* It was.
Cydel: Welcome to: Eraserhead. *Both laugh* Alright, there was a babé. *Both laugh* But it was not yet aborn.
Jade: Aborn?
Cydel: Gebornt.
Jade: Gebornt? Got it.
Cydel: I said aborn, but uh then I decide-
Jade:Gebornt is the word you are going with?
Cydel: Gebornt! *both laugh* It was not yet birthed. *laughs*
Jade: *Snorts* Thank you.
Cydel: What is it bad grammar to say it was not yet borned?
Jade: Yeah, yeah it is.
*Both laugh*
Cydel: Okay well, there was three family mem- … There was a baby.
Jade: Mhm. That’s the plus.
Cydel: *laughs* So the nine month and three days pregnant woman wakes up at 3:30am to use the bathroom. She pees, but nothing else and goes back to sleep. At 4:30 she wakes again to use the bathroom. *Jade laughs* Unsuccessful, she goes back to bed. Then at 5:00 she wakes to use the bathroom again. And now she thinks to herself “maybe it’s contractions”.
Jade: ‘Cause she’s like, you know, fucking pregnant as Hell.
Cydel: Yes.
Jade: Yeah.
Cydel: And being Kristine, the mother *stammers*, I guess, the now mother to be of her second child. I don’t know how you even say that. Mother of two children?
Jade: Soon to be one mother of two children?
Cydel: Soon to be mother of two children?
Jade: Okay.
Cydel: She’s like, you know, the Pampers commercials where they’re like “you’re a pro!”. 
Jade: *laughs* Oh yeah.
Cydel: You know, so she just like not worried about it.
Jade: She does not give a single fuck.*Cydel laughs* Could not care less.
Cydel: So she’s like “well, I’ll go sit in the living room and time ‘em out”. Which I mean, you know eh.
Jade: I mean she wasn’t wrong.
Cydel: It’s not like the wrong thing to do. But anyway, but she was *stammers* She sat in the living room. And her contractions were five minutes apart. At this point, you’re supposed to be in the hospital.
Jade: Mhm.
Cydel: *Laughs* Or going to the hospital.
Jade: Yeah, like on your way.
Cydel: Yeah. I don’t think it’s really like that big of a deal that you’re there, you know, right at five minutes already.
Jade: I mean it depends how long your like actual, like, dilation process goes.
Cydel: Yeah I know that’s true. Yeah, but it, like, it does really vary for everybody.
Jade: Yeah. 
Cydel: So like Yeah.
Jade: The fact that she had faith that it wasn’t gonna like-
Cydel: I know. *both laugh*
Jade: -just go boom, boom, boom.
Cydel: Well I think that it was that she was half asleep. *laughs*
Jade: True. True. And she was like “ugh, I just wish I had to poop instead so I could make it.” *both laugh* “I just wanted to make it until 8am”.
Cydel: Yes. Anyway, so she goes “okay the contractions are five minutes apart”. So at 5:15 she thinks to herself “I’m gonna go take a shower”. And she gets in the shower and her husband is, at this time, just blissfully sleeping through all of this.*laughs*
Jade: Didn’t get up for any of the peeing, nothing.
Cydel: Nope, has not even noticed- 
Jade: Mhm.
Cydel: -one bit. She has contractions in the shower. And then when she gets out of the shower she goes and she wakes up Milton and tells him to take a shower and she says “we need to go to the hospital”. So he gets in the shower and he basically, like, puts soap on his body and she is already like sticking her head back in the bathroom and saying “it’s fast we gotta go!” And so then he rinses himself off. All of the soap that he just put on his body, he just rinses it off as fast as he can. And Kristine goes to wake her daughter and she tells her that they need to go to the hospital. But Jade, being a sassy three year old *both laugh* woken up at 5am, *both laugh* says “but I’m still in my PJs”.
Jade: Because who the fuck goes out when their in their PJs?
Cydel: *Laughs* So by this point Milton’s gotten out of the shower, so Kristine turns to him and says “you take care of that I will be in the car”. *Jade laughs* And so Milton gets Jade ready and Kristine goes and she calls the hospital and she tells them that the baby’s coming and she has everything all set up with the doctor and just tell him that she’s on her way. And then, she calls her mother. Her father answers the phone and she urgently tells him “are you awake enough to go to the hospital? The baby’s coming!” And he. To which he responds “I’ll let you speak to your mother” *both laugh* Kristine, now calmer, tells her mother “the baby’s coming, and we're headed to the hospital. Meet us there” And so, her mother, hearing the like calmness in her voice, figures she has some time. 
Jade: Mhm.
Cydel: So she goes ahead and she finishes breakfast.
Jade: No she fucking makes breakfast.
Cydel: Yeah, she… Yeah she hadn’t even made breakfast yet.
Jade: No she was asleep. She’s like while I guess I’ll make breakfast.
Cydel. Yeah, that’s true actually. ‘Cause grandpa was up because he was milking.
Jade: Yeah.
Cydel: Yeah. But grandma probably wasn’t up yet to make breakfast even.
Jade: No, it was probably soon.
Cydel: Because he probably went and milked and then had breakfast.
Jade: Yeah.
Cydel: Yup. So at 5:45 the family gets into the car. At 6:00, Kristine’s water breaks in the car. And at this point they are now rushing to the hospital. And luckily there were towels in the back of the car. But Milton turns a thirty-five minute drive into a twenty-five minute drive. *laughs*
Jade: Which just like, peak. Love it.
Cydel: Yeah. *both laugh*
Jade: “Drivin’ 95 with my three-year-old and my very pregnant wife. I got places to be!” *Cydel laughs*
Cydel: And then shakes start about ten minutes after, so about like at like 5:55. And so when they get to the hospital, Milton drops Kristine off at the emergency entrance alone and then goes to park. And Kristine goes to the desk. She tells the woman that she called the doctor and everythings all set up. And she’s like, at this point, heavily leaning on the counter ‘cause she is in a lot of pain. ‘Cause now the contractions are a lot shorter than five minutes.
Jade: Mhm, yeah they’re closer together.
Cydel: And the lady gets her all checked in and then finally goes “do you need a wheelchair?” and she goes “please”. *Both laugh* And then once they get her into the wheelchair they ask her “do you wanna wait for your husband?” and she’s like “get me to the delivery room now” *both laugh*
Jade: She’s like “that idiot, he’s done all he can” *both laugh* Just kidding she’s not, no, she didn’t say that, but.
Cydel: No, but at this point she’s just in a lot of pain-
Jade: No she doesn’t care.
Cydel: -she’s like “this baby is coming.”-
Jade: Yeah
Cydel- “If we don’t make it to the delivery room, I will be giving birth in the hallway” *laughs
Jade: Mhm
Cydel: So when she gets to the room, she gets undressed and hops in the bed. And then when the doctor comes in she’s already ready to push. *both chuckle* And so MIlton finishes parking at 6:26. He takes Jade into the waiting room and goes into the delivery room. So now Jade is sitting alone in the dark waiting room watching Batman in 2002.
Jade: Yeah *both chuckle* Not age appropriate content
Both: for a three-year-old
Cydel: Yeah, you definitely. Batman is not a very like popular show at this point like I feel like it’s- there weren’t new Batman’s coming out, it was all like old comics like cartoons. So maybe some people were watching them, but.
Jade: Yeah, It was reruns. It was definitely not made for children, but I think the orderly who like found this like, waiting room or whatever it was for me. ‘Cause it was literally like a room to myself.
Cydel: Yeah
Jade: I think it’s just because I was a little kid by myself so they didn’t want to like just plop me in a waiting room and be like “okay well sit here and hope nobody steals ya” *cydel laughs* but like it was not, no, I- horrifying.
Cydel: *Laughs* You said it felt like an alien abduction.
Jade: It did it really did *both laugh* cause it was just the light from the tv too. They were just like oh these are cartoons maybe she'll want to watch this.
Cydel:*Laughs* Like you were more into… What is that one called that I am blanking on right now?
Jade: I don’t know.
Cydel: The one with the redhead in the mole rat. *laughs*
Jade: *Laughs* Kim Possible?
Cydel: Kim Possible. *laughs*
Jade: Oh my God, no. I wasn't even at the Kim Possible stage yet, I was three. All we watched were like Sesame Street.
Cydel: Oh right, we were watching Sesame Street.
Jade: *laughs* God.
Cydel: Alright well, I didn't, I wasn't here at this point yet.
Jade: Yeah you weren’t there.
Cydel: I don't know what you were watching. I'm sure you were watching none of the current cartoons to be honest.
Jade: No absolutely not
Cydel: We didn’t have cable. 
Jade: No we didn't.
Cydel: Lost where I was. Oh right you can hear screaming-
Jade: I could.
Cydel: -coming from the delivery room.
Jade: Yup, just through the wall. Yeah.
Cydel: Yup.
Jade: Yup.
Cydel: Alright then-
Jade: And Batman *Cydel laughs* with only the light from the tv. In a chair that was way too fucking big for me.
Cydel: A horror movie set.
Jade: *laughs* Yeah.
Cydel: Meanwhile *laughs* in the delivering room, in the delivering room *both laugh* At 6:46 she arrives. A perfect ten and she still is. *laughs*
Jade: Wow, pretty like Daddy.
Cydel: Yes I am pretty like Daddy.
Jade: Aha.
Cydel: In fact I look exactly like your father. *Both laugh*
Jade: More on that later. 
Cydel: So I go in to get vaccinated and heated *laughs*
Jade: They just put you into a fucking soup or something?
Cydel: They put the babies under heat.
Jade: Like what?
Cydel: *laughs* yeah.
Jade: And now bring it gently to a boil.
Cydel: I wrote baby goes to vaxx and heat, so I guess that’s what I mean. *Jade laughs* Incubation.
Jade: like you're a lizard?
*Both laugh* 
Cydel: Incubation after the incubation.
Jade: Mhm.
Cydel: And so, this not being Kristine's first rodeo, sends her husband after me, after the baby.
Jade: Mhm.
Cydel: To go and make sure that the baby doesn't get stolen or mixed up or whatever happens at the hospital, because these things happen. And so he goes and follows and Kristine gets into the shower. And she takes a shower. After that Milton and Jade go and have breakfast.
Jade: Mhm.
Cydel: And during this breakfast he spills orange juice all over her. *laughs*
Jade: Yes.
Cydel: So excited to have a new baby and… *laughs*
Jade: Well that and like when you're with a three-year-old like, they just, they do things and  when you react sometimes you knock things over, sometimes you knock things over.
Cydel: Yeah. I do love that story about our friends from church, their- *laughs* how old is he now? Two? Three?
Jade: What happened in the story?
Cydel: Their son was just pushing things.
Jade: Oh yeah *laughs* yeah.
Cydel: He now just pushes things.
Jade: Yeah.
Cydel: So he- they went and had breakfast and he just pushed everything on the table.
Jade: All of the drinks, yeah, over.
Cydel: Yeah.
Jade: Yeah, I- that was a good story.
Cydel: Yeah. Yeah, he’s just in a pushing things phase, so…
Jade: Yeah. He's like oh you like this thing? I'm gonna fucking destroy it.
Cydel: Yeah. *laughs* Yeah.
Jade: He's not even two yet, I don’t think. I think he might be turning two soon, but that's a whole other thing.
Cydel: Yeah.That's what I think, I think that's yeah. Then Kristine's mother finally arrives at 7:30.
Jade: Mhm.
Cydel: Now Forty-five minutes after the baby’s been born. And right away she sent to get- *laughs* to get a bag for her juicy granddaughter. *laughs*
Jade: Oh God, what the fuck are your notes? *Laughs*
Cydel: *Laughs* I’m so good at writing notes!
Jade: Oh my God I hate you. Comic genius.
Cydel: Yes. So they left like you're like baby bag, or toddler bag…
Jade: Or your go bag is what it's called when you go to the hospital.
Cydel: Go bag! That’s what it is.
Jade: Mhm, ‘cause like mom, the mom has a go bag and then if you have any like kids or like a spouse they should also have like either a separate go bag or a small part just in case they need to stay. Of course they don't need as much because they don't need to hang out as long but…
Cydel: Yeah, but they, our parents forgot all of that in the rush. So they had to send grandma to go get a bag from the trailer house and bring you back so you could change.
Jade: Mhm.
Cydel: Also, dad left the hospital to go have lunch with his buddy.
Jade: Oh, I think that’s because I went with grandma.
Cydel: Did you go with Grandma?
Jade: I think that's what Dad said yeah. 
Cydel: Oh okay.
Jade: I think he had said that he had passed me off and then Dad was like hey there's some friends that are in town my wife just had a kid *Cydel laughs* I guess I'll go have lunch with them. 
Cydel: Yeah, and so the hospital told Kristine that they were good to go, like the mom and baby were all healthy. So they could have left the same day, but she decided to stay for three days to get her money's worth out of the insurance.
Jade: Oh yeah, yeah.
Cydel: Yeah, because the insurance will cover three days so…
Jade: Yeah, you don't just like show up and push it out and then your like “okay well bye”
Cydel: Yeah.
Jade: When you can have someone there to like, you know, watch your kid for the first like Seventy-two hours. *laughs*
Cydel: Yeah, and you can just sit in a bed- 
Jade: Mhm, yeah.
Cydel: -and be fed.
Jade: And people bring you snacks yeah. *laughs*
Cydel: Yeah.
Jade: That’s not at all how it- It’s not that peaceful when you just gave birth. But like-
Cydel: Yeah but-
Jade: It’s better than trying to do it at home. *laughs*
Cydel: It takes- Yeah, it takes a lot of the pressure off.
Jade: Yes, yeah.
Cydel: *laughs* If you don’t have to try to, like, recover and cook food.
Jade: Mhm, mhm.
Cydel: *laughs* Like, yeah. So at night the baby slept in a bassinet, I am told it is called. Not a basket. *Jade laughs* I’m pretty sure your mother called it a basket.
Jade: No she al- she’s never said basket, she’s always said bassinet when she’s talking about the thing a baby sleeps in.
Cydel: Ugh, whatever.
Jade: ‘Cause I’ve known that word for a very long time.
Cydel: A basket on wheels.
Jade: Oh my God. *Cydel laughs* If-if she ever did say basket it was because she was describing it.
Cydel: Okay, sure. So, and then Mom laid in the bed and Dad in the chair.
Jade: Mhm.
Cydel: And when I was a baby, in the bassinet, I would wiggle and grunt all night while I was sitting alone-
Jade: Like a little piggy. *laughs* I’m here to roast Cydel, point blank period. That’s it. That’s why you wanted me in this right?
Cydel: Alright, so, the cute part of this story! *both laugh* I would sleep very nice and calmly on mom’s chest.
Jade: Mm *Cydel Laughs* Not for long.
Cydel: Your face!
Jade: Well, I mean-
Cydel: You were like-
Jade: Nice and calmly when? *laughs*
Cydel: -“what kind of bullshit are you spewing?” *laughs* So mom was very cautious to keep an eye on me while at the hospital. So one day a nurse came in to the room and it was empty, *Jade laughs* and she was like “um, hello?” *Jade laughs* like she’s like “nobody’s in the bed, not baby. Where?” *laughs*
Jade: Yeah, like the bassinet and everything was gone.
Cydel: Everything was empty. Yeah, yeah the bassinet was gone. *laughs*
Jade: Yeah.
Cydel: And mom called from the bathroom “we’re in the bathroom” *Jade laughs* ‘cause she took me into the show- into the bathroom when she was showering.
Jade: Yeah, like she just pushed the bassinet in so that she could see.
Cydel: Yeah, yeah. Mhm. And then we left on Monday very healthy. Good story.
Jade: Wow. Beautiful.
Cydel: Yeah, I really hope that I have as good of an experience giving birth as mother’s experience birthing me.
Jade: Oh yeah, oh yeah, well-
Cydel: No C-section, no, it was like, *Jade laughs* no time sitting in the hospital waiting. *laughs*
Jade: At all, like at all. She basically got in there and was like “okay, it’s coming”.
Cydel: Also she didn’t notice contractions until she was already at five minutes.
Jade: Mhm, yeah.
Cydel: Like she slept through most of her contractions, you know, or most of that beginning contraction time.
Jade:Mhm.
Cydel: Yeah, alright. That was also the earliest I ever woke up voluntarily.
Jade: Oh my God. *Both laugh* Ah Jesus. Well that’s why I didn’t believe that bullshit story, you  were feeding, about the whole sleeping peacefully.
Cydel: I was a baby.
Jade: Yeah but the on your mom’s chest makes sense, but like sleeping peacefully just not you.
Cydel: It’s just not on brand for me?
Jade: No, no, it’s not you.
Cydel: Until now. Now that I’m and adult I sleep-
Jade: *laughs* You sleep with your eyes open, ‘cause you’re just so knocked out.
Cydel: Okay, we are airing my dirty laundry. *laughs*
Jade: Yes we are.
Cydel: I sleep very deeply and for 9 hours a night.
Jade: Ugh, bless it.
Cydel: Mhm.
Jade: Love it.
Cydel: Mhm. Alright it's your turn now.
Jade: Oh, it’s my turn? Okay so I found an article from Travel Wisconsin and this article is entitled “20 Things You May Not Have Known About Wisconsin” and it is by Kristen Finstad. Fine stad? I’m sorry. I don't know. If anyone knows, I’m sorry. So I’m just going to start. Well actually the first point is one that I really like, and it’s because I did a project on this when I was in 4th grade because I’m just, like, so advanced. But the first kindergarten in the US was in Wisconsin; it was in Watertown in 1856. So I think that’s just like, it's great. Cause, I don’t know, I just-
Cydel: I mean we had all the Germans.
Jade: Oh, oh, by the way. German couple. A German couple was the one who made that, because kindergarten, believe it or not, is a German word. *laughs*
Cydel: Yeah, because they, yeah. So basically like… Germany maybe, no probably not-
Jade: What?
Cydel: -maybe had school for 5 year olds but probably not back then-
Jade:Yeah. They had kindergartens.
Cydel: -they probably had no school-
Jade: Well, oh my God, what’d you think they were?
Cydel: -to be honest no one had school.
Jade: It’s not the barbarian age. But they had something like kindergartens already.
Cydel: I guess, probably, sure!
Jade: So that's why the Germans brought it over. Also the Germans are to blame for PE, just gonna let you know that.
Cydel: *Laughs* Oh yeah.
Jade: If you've ever been like “Oh why do I have gym class?” Germans. Anyway, If you live in the US, otherwise, I don’t know, I don’t know who to blame. Oh Shit! Okay Marathon County produces nearly all the ginseng grown in the US and 10% of the world’s supply. Oh cool okay, if you're ever in Marathon County there's a, there's an International Festival in September. Maybe we should do that.
Cydel: Sure.
Jade: Why are you just blankly staring at me?
Cydel: I don't know.
Jade: You don’t know where Marathon County is? 
Cydel: Ginseng Festival?
Jade: Yeah, ginseng. I want to get a close-up look at the process and a chance to taste food drinks and, food and, foods and drinks incorporating the product. I'm so sorry Kristen I'm butchering your words.
Cydel: I don’t even know if I’ve even like- What does ginseng even taste like? Do I? Have I eaten food with ginseng in it?
Jade: You probably have. But we’ll have to find some for you to eat on a later date. Ooh here's one that I know you're going to like. Okay so, did you know that the world's largest cranberry festival is in Warrens Wisconsin? And I know you are gonna love this because you have an unhealthy obsession with cranberries *both laugh* and everything that they stand for.
Cydel: I do. I buy at least one giant box every year and freeze as much cranberries as I possibly can. And then I also eat them fresh.
Jade: Oh my God.
Cydel: This year I have eaten too many though and my teeth hurt.
Jade: Oh no!
Cydel: You see, the thing is I really like citrus. I really like sour fruits so I can eat a whole lemon or whole lime and just love it. However my body parts do not agree, like my lips hurt really bad after I eat a whole lemon.
Jade: Crazy It’s almost like citrus does that.
Cydel: And so do my teeth. So yeah it really is a love-hate sort of thing and I have to limit myself.
Jade: Mhm, but did you know, and a part of this whole rant that you went on, Wisconsin produces 60% of the nation's cranberries. So thank you Wisconsin for cranberries.
Cydel: Should be more.
Jade: *laughs* Oh my God *Cydel laughs* there are, like, cranberry bogs all over the place. And yes they are called bogs, bog with a g. Why are you looking at me like that?
Cydel: What was it? A cranberry bod? *Jade laughs* What else would you think it was?
Jade: I don't know, people don't know what a bog is. Also I speak like I’m from Wisconsin so I don’t know if people can understand me. Did you know that the-
Cydel: You mean you say word bag?
Jade: No I don't actually, I don't say bag. I don’t think I do.
Cydel: No. I don't know. I just know that I got made fun of for the way that I say bag.
Jade: I say bag.
Cydel: Or bag, I don’t know, which one, how I said it, but Germans made fun of me for how I said the word bag.
Jade: Yeah, well they can fuck right off. *both laugh* I love you, I love all my Germans. I want to go back to Germany so bad. Okay so did you know that the state’s symbol, the badger, is not named after the animal? Like it's not like there was just an abundance of badgers, but it was named after the led miners who would dig tunnels to sleep in, like a badger. Do you think they went in backwards? *both laugh*
Cydel: I wish.
Jade: They lead with their ass, just…
Cydel: That’s my favorite thing about badgers. *laughs* Is that they're like “this is my home” and they back into it really fast.
Jade: Yes. *laughs* They could have no fucking clue where they're going. Like they could be walking right into a trap and they're just like “yup ready for it!”
Cydel: But there are like no badgers in Wisconsin.
Jade: No no, it's just that it's named after people. You know The Onion?
Cydel: Yes!
Jade: The satirical news thing.
Cydel: Source.
Jade: Yes. It says, “the most famous news satire organization- 
Cydel: Ooh.
Jade: -was humbly started by two University of Wisconsin students Tim Keck and Christopher Johnson in 1988.”
Cydel: Awesome.
Jade: So thank you Kristen for this information.
Cydel: And thank you, what were their names? 
Jade: Tim Keck and Christopher Johnson.
Cydel: Tim and Christopher-
Jade: Yeah thanks Tim.
Cydel: -for the onion.
Jade: Yes, please, yes. *sighs* Lord Almighty, Yeah.
Cydel: Alright is that it?
Jade: Oh my God, hold on wait no I just read something weird, I'm sorry I needed to take a second. I'm sorry I'm drinking carbonated water. That what it’s called?
Cydel: Yes.
Jade: Yeah.
Cydel: Honestly when you asked me to get you carbonated water I thought you wanted me to carbonate water *Jade laughs* and I was like how am I supposed to do that?
Jade: We need a soda stream. Anyway.
Cydel: No. I don’t need one. I'm okay. *both laugh*
Jade: Okay, well this article, check it out seriously if you have any minor interest in Wisconsin just read this article. I actually kind of liked it, but I'm a little biased. But do you know that there are freshwater surfers in Wisconsin?
Cydel: No? *laughs*
Jade: Sheboygan Wisconsin is apparently the Malibu of the Midwest. Peak surf season takes place between September and March.
Cydel: What?
Jade: Yeah, apparently that's when the waves are, like you know, gnarly. I don't, I'm sorry for anyone who actually does anything in-
Cydel: Do they surf in seal skin?
Jade: No, no you wear a like you wear a wetsuit
Cydel: Yeah, with a, with a winter coat underneath? *both laugh*
Jade: Yeah they just go out there like marshmallows. No, like wetsuits are like designed to, like, help the temperature stay out. Like it helps to keep you warm.
Cydel: But that much?
Jade: I don’t- Okay if you have ever been to the Malibu of Wisconsin and you surf, please let us know how-
Cydel: Please send us a picture of your outfit.
Jade: Please and maybe describe it for us.
Cydel: Yeah, yeah! 
Jade: So we know what the fuck is happening. So anyway, that’s my Wisconsin facts. Thank you Travel Wisconsin. 
Cydel: Awesome.
Jade: Not sponsored.
Cydel: Alright well thank you for listening to the first episode of Cheese! A Healthy Fruit! You can follow us on Instagram @cheese_ahealthyfruit and follow me on Instagram @cydelpowers which is c y d e l.
Jade: Yeah, there you go. There’s no way they were gonna get that.
Cydel: *laughs* Well I mean you can read it in the description.
Jade: That’s true, it’s in the yeah.
Cydel: We’re gonna have our names written out. And then they can follow you…
Jade: @jadepowerss with two s's.
Cydel: Yes.
Jade: Are we going to do an awkward like Wisconsin bye, where it takes like two hours.
Cydel: *Laughs* Two hours!
Jade: Or me whenever I try to hang up the phone when I’m talking to Grandpa and he starts talking right when I'm pulling the phone away from my ear. And I'm like, fuck, he probably said something he wanted me to hear, but I had said bye twice already.
Cydel: Grandpa usually hangs up on me, so guess it’s the other way around.
Jade: He’s getting better about that with me. No but usually, like he never says bye, he just hangs up.
Cydel: Yes.
Jade: But sometimes I’ll be like “Okay bye” and then he’ll be like “and then...” and then I hang up and I’m like, fuck.
Cydel: I usually get to being like… Yeah we get this point where it's like awkward and I'm like “okay” and he hangs up *Jade laughs* and I’m like “bye” and then I’m like saying goodbye to a dial tone.
Jade: Yeah.
Cydel: I’m like “oh well.”
Jade: Anywho, this has been Cheese! A Healthy Fruit.
Cydel: See you next time.
Jade: Mm-bye.
Cydel: Ba-bye now ba-bye!
Jade: Oh my God. *both laugh*
Cydel: Thanks for listening to Cheese! A Healthy Fruit. Our Cover Art is by MJ Hennessey and our Theme Song is by Malena Marcase. Follow the podcast on Instagram @cheese_ahealthyfruit, Jade @jadepowerss, and Cydel @cydelpowers. If you have any questions or want to submit a story from your childhood email us at cheeseahealthyfruit@gmail.com. Sources can be found in the show notes. Subscribe to Cheese! A Healthy Fruit and leave us a five star review on your favorite podcasting app. See you next time, ba-bye.
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