WEBVTT 00:00:04.426 --> 00:00:05.309 All right, good morning. 00:00:05.309 --> 00:00:06.410 How's everybody doing? 00:00:06.410 --> 00:00:12.711 It's been a little while since I've been up here and I'm just so grateful that I have the opportunity to be with you today. 00:00:12.711 --> 00:00:19.882 If this is your first, second week, third week, you may not know that we've been walking through this book. 00:00:19.882 --> 00:00:22.007 It's called the Gospel-Centered Community. 00:00:22.007 --> 00:00:24.292 So we've here at Trinity. 00:00:24.292 --> 00:00:25.746 We've taught for many years using the Gospel-Centered Life. 00:00:25.746 --> 00:00:26.248 So we've here at Trinity. 00:00:26.248 --> 00:00:27.416 We've taught for many years using the Gospel-Centered Life. 00:00:27.475 --> 00:00:34.814 It's a green book, wonderful book, talking about how we can center our life on the gospel, right? 00:00:34.814 --> 00:00:52.392 Well, we are also now walking through the Gospel-Centered Community because we want this church to be centered on the gospel and this book really does a good job and it's an easy read and it's a great little book to get together with your groups and different people to. 00:00:52.392 --> 00:00:58.098 I even think Scott's doing it at the prisons now and it's really cool to be able to use that. 00:00:58.098 --> 00:01:02.808 And so if you've missed any of our sermons on this, they're all online. 00:01:02.808 --> 00:01:04.793 We'd love for you to go watch any of them. 00:01:04.793 --> 00:01:05.513 Get caught up. 00:01:05.513 --> 00:01:08.766 But even if you just want to get caught up, the book's out there. 00:01:08.766 --> 00:01:10.471 You can grab it. 00:01:10.471 --> 00:01:11.840 It's $10 if you've got it. 00:01:11.840 --> 00:01:17.311 If not just grab it, but we're on chapter 7 today and you can go back. 00:01:17.311 --> 00:01:22.968 Like I said, they're real easy reads, so you can go back if you've missed anything and get caught up to where we're at today for next week. 00:01:22.968 --> 00:01:25.591 I really think it's cool how God does things. 00:01:25.591 --> 00:01:33.411 This morning we hear a number of words coming from God and they were so good and it's really cool how they all work together. 00:01:33.411 --> 00:01:42.147 But they also worked really well together on setting me up and setting Kelly up for next week, so it was really nice. 00:01:42.147 --> 00:01:46.814 So this week we're talking about an honest community. 00:01:47.334 --> 00:02:10.993 All right, now, this has been a really hard one for me this week because I've been studying over this one the last couple of weeks and, as you know, if you were to ever preach, you have to live what you preach first and it hits you and it's hard, and it hits you and it's hard, and so it's constantly like a magnifying glass every single day, as I'm digging into the Word, digging into the book, going all right, am I doing this? 00:02:10.993 --> 00:02:23.409 And I really hope that I am in every way, and of course, that's why David said in Psalms that God searched me, oh Lord, every day, that if there would be any grievous way inside of me to reveal it to me. 00:02:23.409 --> 00:02:25.935 You know, and that's really how we should all be living. 00:02:25.935 --> 00:02:33.326 And so a lot of times we come into church or even any type of group and we're worried about what other people think about us. 00:02:33.326 --> 00:02:37.930 So we make up a false self, we put our best self forward. 00:02:37.930 --> 00:02:40.287 We've heard this many times with dating. 00:02:40.287 --> 00:02:46.819 You know it's like well, who is this person really dating? 00:02:46.819 --> 00:02:48.324 You know it's like well, who is this person really? 00:02:48.324 --> 00:02:57.144 Because who you first go on a date with is not normally who they are three months later, because you figure out who they are, because they stopped giving you the false person right. 00:02:57.144 --> 00:03:17.074 So, even though it doesn't really hurt anybody, but it's deeply wicked, honestly, it's a subtle form of dishonesty, manipulation and lying, and so I wanted to tell you a little story just to kind of break the ice here a little bit this morning. 00:03:17.134 --> 00:03:19.861 But I've always been skeptical of online dating. 00:03:19.861 --> 00:03:22.706 Now things have changed a lot over the years. 00:03:22.706 --> 00:03:27.194 When this first started, it was seen as something just awful and terrible. 00:03:27.194 --> 00:03:41.466 Some of you in the room are married to your spouse because you started online, and nowadays it's kind of hard to even get to know anyone, because nobody does anything in person anymore, it's all online, right. 00:03:41.466 --> 00:03:43.467 So nowadays it's a little different. 00:03:43.520 --> 00:03:55.825 But back in my day, when it all kind of started out yep, I'm a part of that generation and I remember I was talking to somebody on this thing called MySpace how many people remember that one, right? 00:03:55.825 --> 00:04:04.812 And so MySpace is a place you got to know some people, and so I figured after a few weeks I'm going to go meet this person that I've been talking to. 00:04:04.812 --> 00:04:06.044 I mean, she seems kind of cool. 00:04:06.044 --> 00:04:12.608 I think I was 18 years old and so I'm finally going to go meet this person and I've got the picture of who I'm looking for. 00:04:12.608 --> 00:04:15.140 I go to McDonald's where we say we're going to meet. 00:04:15.140 --> 00:04:20.428 I've not even got out yet because I'm a little bit early, and somebody, like knocks on my truck window. 00:04:20.428 --> 00:04:21.911 I'm like what? 00:04:21.911 --> 00:04:33.245 And so like I roll down the window and I'm like it's total stranger, like never seen this person before in my life, and she begins to claim she's the person I'm meeting. 00:04:33.245 --> 00:04:38.134 Didn't even look the same, different hair, different facial structure. 00:04:38.134 --> 00:04:46.127 There was no way the person I was coming there to meet was that person. 00:04:46.127 --> 00:04:54.814 So I quickly came up with an excuse that I had to go back to work and rolled up the window and left, never talked to them again. 00:04:54.814 --> 00:04:56.901 Why was that? 00:04:56.901 --> 00:04:59.906 Because she was totally dishonest. 00:04:59.906 --> 00:05:05.894 I built this little relationship of this friendship on an entire lie. 00:05:05.894 --> 00:05:08.908 I wanted nothing to do with this person. 00:05:08.908 --> 00:05:10.425 It was total dishonesty. 00:05:10.425 --> 00:05:23.843 And so that is kind of what makes us be sketchy about online dating, online getting to know anyone right, because it's sketchy, you don't really know if the person is the real person that you're supposed to meet. 00:05:23.843 --> 00:05:28.870 So that was my little story to kind of get you started. 00:05:29.771 --> 00:05:33.656 For many years I had been in church my whole life. 00:05:33.656 --> 00:05:38.021 Some of you know my testimony about. 00:05:38.021 --> 00:05:39.565 I was raised in church Most of the time. 00:05:39.565 --> 00:05:42.512 I went to church myself because my mom worked night shift and couldn't get me there. 00:05:42.512 --> 00:05:51.233 My mom and dad were divorced when I was five and so I got to see dad a few days a year because of the custody agreements and all that stuff. 00:05:51.233 --> 00:05:57.627 So I called local churches and I would have them come pick me up to take me to church, because I wanted to be there on Sunday morning. 00:05:57.627 --> 00:06:08.790 I felt like that was the place I was supposed to be, and I realized later on in life that I desired community so bad and I wanted that community that I could trust. 00:06:09.620 --> 00:06:22.392 Now I went from, there was a few different churches that would pick me up, and maybe their bus ministry had to stop, and then I would go to another one, and it was just kind of back and forth until I finally got my license and I started driving myself. 00:06:22.392 --> 00:06:26.882 And then I'm searching for a church to go to because I didn't have one. 00:06:26.882 --> 00:06:33.567 And here I am and imagine being 16 years old and you're trying to find a community to be a part of. 00:06:33.567 --> 00:06:43.504 Now, the communities I was hanging out with were not really good ones, because they were a bunch of teens that were not living the right life, right, but I wanted something different. 00:06:43.504 --> 00:06:58.509 And so I would go around and I would look for these churches, but I would never find one that fit for me because these were all perfect people, every one of them, that's what they portrayed, so that one's not going to work out for me. 00:06:58.509 --> 00:07:01.267 And then I'd see these perfect people. 00:07:01.267 --> 00:07:06.562 Churches just fail and literally shut the doors and I would have to go to the next one. 00:07:06.562 --> 00:07:13.502 And so I went through a lot of that three, four, five of them before I came here to Trinity. 00:07:13.502 --> 00:07:30.591 And so some of those things were that I was meeting these people, that none of them were being real with me, and here I was, a teen trying to figure out how to live for the Lord, me and here I was a teen trying to figure out how to live for the Lord, and what I was searching for was what I had on Saturday mornings. 00:07:30.610 --> 00:07:31.915 Saturday morning was a different thing. 00:07:31.915 --> 00:07:37.108 My family would get together with my uncle, billy, and I love him so much he's still like. 00:07:37.108 --> 00:07:38.521 I wish that we still did this at times. 00:07:38.521 --> 00:07:42.067 My family, it was a cool Saturday hangout Every morning. 00:07:42.067 --> 00:07:45.173 Every Saturday morning, everybody would get together. 00:07:45.173 --> 00:07:49.812 We'd go swimming, we'd play volleyball, we'd ride go-karts and horseback, and he had this big farm. 00:07:49.812 --> 00:07:50.502 We did it all. 00:07:50.502 --> 00:07:52.728 All of the family would show up. 00:07:52.728 --> 00:07:55.254 All of the family was real. 00:07:55.254 --> 00:07:57.721 Nobody would lie about who they were. 00:07:57.721 --> 00:08:00.045 They weren't living the right life. 00:08:00.045 --> 00:08:07.608 It was pretty coarse language, pretty rough things going on, things behind the scenes that weren't really behind the scenes. 00:08:07.608 --> 00:08:08.509 You knew what was going on. 00:08:08.509 --> 00:08:09.773 They'd be honest, they'd tell you about it. 00:08:09.773 --> 00:08:13.920 But all right, don't do business with them, all right, and so. 00:08:13.920 --> 00:08:19.473 But that community I desired so much because it was fun and people were honest and people were real. 00:08:19.473 --> 00:08:24.161 And no one's trying to be somebody different, they were just trying to be themselves. 00:08:24.161 --> 00:08:27.124 I desired that in the church, I wanted, and no one's trying to be somebody different, they were just trying to be themselves. 00:08:27.124 --> 00:08:31.988 I desired that in the church, I wanted that, but I couldn't find it and that was really. 00:08:31.988 --> 00:08:33.551 That was hard for me, right? 00:08:34.250 --> 00:08:39.056 So in the book we see this week, it talked about what we do is we're imposters. 00:08:39.056 --> 00:08:47.889 We throw out a false image, and this man named Brennan Manning said this the imposter is the classic codependent. 00:08:47.889 --> 00:08:50.024 To gain acceptance and approval. 00:08:50.024 --> 00:08:56.548 The false self suppresses or camouflages feelings, making emotional honesty impossible. 00:08:56.548 --> 00:09:00.931 We present a perfect image to the public so that everyone will admire us. 00:09:00.931 --> 00:09:02.806 Nobody will know us. 00:09:02.806 --> 00:09:14.541 The imposter prompts us to attach importance to what has no importance, to clothing with a false glitter, what is least substantial and turning us away from what is real. 00:09:14.541 --> 00:09:17.788 The false self causes us to live in a world of delusion. 00:09:17.788 --> 00:09:26.552 The imposter is a liar, and so today we want to talk about what it means to be in an honest community. 00:09:27.380 --> 00:09:28.625 So I was 16 years old. 00:09:28.625 --> 00:09:40.504 Again, I was going from church to church, but my dad was a Southern gospel singer and also a minister, and so at this point I'd go to all kinds of churches, but I remember going to this one church. 00:09:40.504 --> 00:09:51.253 It was when I first started getting a glimpse of the prophetic and you know the prophetic in a real, not in a crazy way, because my dad took me to a couple of Pentecostal churches. 00:09:51.253 --> 00:10:01.923 So, like that made sense and I came in and for some of you who know Southern gospel music, you know Conrad Cook and the Calvary Echoes. 00:10:01.923 --> 00:10:02.764 Anybody know them? 00:10:02.764 --> 00:10:05.210 Man, not one person in the room. 00:10:05.210 --> 00:10:09.347 Wow, okay, I'm just that old, all right. 00:10:09.347 --> 00:10:22.491 So Conrad Cook was a great man and in the Southern Gospel realm it was wild to see someone who was filled with the Holy Spirit, who prophesied, who, you know, believed in healing all of these things. 00:10:22.491 --> 00:10:23.822 And Conrad Cook was one of those. 00:10:24.203 --> 00:10:28.272 And I remember he called me up for a word, first time I'd ever gotten anything like this. 00:10:28.272 --> 00:10:30.484 What is a word, you know? 00:10:30.484 --> 00:10:39.528 And he comes and he tells me hey, you're called to be a minister of the gospel, you're going to be a pastor and you're going to pastor many. 00:10:39.528 --> 00:10:40.644 And I'm like what? 00:10:40.644 --> 00:10:41.621 Okay, all right. 00:10:41.621 --> 00:10:43.123 And I'm like what? 00:10:43.123 --> 00:10:44.403 Okay, all right. 00:10:44.965 --> 00:10:51.110 So I took that word and there was part of me that like, okay, that's kind of cool, I'd like that. 00:10:51.110 --> 00:10:56.173 But then the other part of me was like no way in the world I'm ever going to do that. 00:10:56.173 --> 00:10:57.514 Why? 00:10:57.514 --> 00:11:00.856 Because I never wanted to be a pastor like the pastors I knew. 00:11:00.856 --> 00:11:11.067 All these pastors were one man leading the whole church, giving a false front of what he had, unfortunately. 00:11:11.067 --> 00:11:40.634 I saw some pastors who lived one way but then came to Sunday morning and, you know, called everybody out for the same thing and live in kind of high and mighty, and so there were a lot of that that I wanted nothing to do with, and so I never wanted to be a pastor because I had never seen anybody be real with me to teach me, to show me what it meant to be honest and true and to how you live this life. 00:11:42.422 --> 00:11:44.831 I remember even at one point like I wanted honesty in everything in my life. 00:11:44.831 --> 00:11:52.440 I remember even at one point like I wanted I wanted honesty in everything in my life, like I saw these people and all this, but I would always be really just right out honest with you. 00:11:52.440 --> 00:11:53.341 And I'm still on today. 00:11:53.341 --> 00:11:55.769 Most of you know you asked me a question. 00:11:55.769 --> 00:11:59.904 You better really want to know the answer, because I'll give it to you. 00:11:59.904 --> 00:12:06.581 The kids stopped asking me crazy questions about 10 years ago because they got tired of hearing the real answer. 00:12:06.581 --> 00:12:18.052 So the thing is is I wanted these true things, and I even remember one man telling me hey, like stop telling everybody everything, you're too honest. 00:12:18.052 --> 00:12:22.062 And I'm like how is that even possible to be too honest? 00:12:22.062 --> 00:12:33.124 And I got what he was talking about later on, because I would be honest with people who had no desire to be honest with me but just to use my honesty to build themselves up in reputation. 00:12:33.124 --> 00:12:38.759 And so then, yeah, I started kind of hiding some of those things from people. 00:12:39.802 --> 00:12:48.970 But 22 years ago now that's how long I've been here, actually coming up on 23, I met some men who were totally different. 00:12:48.970 --> 00:13:00.274 I walked into a church called Trinity Chapel and I remember asking the Lord God, I'm so sick and tired of trying to find a church. 00:13:00.274 --> 00:13:01.985 I'm over here for six months. 00:13:01.985 --> 00:13:04.164 I'm over here for three months, I'm over here for eight months. 00:13:04.164 --> 00:13:07.374 Can you please just show me where I'm supposed to be? 00:13:07.374 --> 00:13:08.941 I don't want to be bouncing around. 00:13:08.941 --> 00:13:25.414 I want to find this community of believers that's like my family, that'll tell me everything, that'll walk with me through stuff and that I actually truly know them and they're my family, but also who will raise me up. 00:13:25.414 --> 00:13:36.773 And so I remember walking in and I met a man named Adam Lutz I'm actually even back in the day, even further back and that was Rob of Ross Jones, Thank you. 00:13:38.200 --> 00:13:47.991 But then shortly after, like literally shortly after, I stepped into the church, then I met Steve Fado, mark Medley, neal Silverberg. 00:13:47.991 --> 00:13:53.447 Later on, tyler Lyon came around and these men were real. 00:13:53.447 --> 00:13:55.424 They were real men. 00:13:55.424 --> 00:13:59.049 They showed me what living for Christ was really like. 00:13:59.049 --> 00:14:09.191 For the first time I had actually met some leaders that were authentic, that wouldn't just give me one side. 00:14:09.191 --> 00:14:21.873 It was incredible to finally see them live ungodly, and I say this because I saw how they made it right with the Lord. 00:14:21.873 --> 00:14:35.794 So I've seen each one of these men in my life make mistakes, be ungodly, but yet I've also got to watch them repent and live righteously. 00:14:35.794 --> 00:14:38.623 And so for once I finally. 00:14:38.623 --> 00:14:46.134 That was the moment when I was like, okay, maybe I can do this thing that I feel like the Lord told me when I was 16. 00:14:46.134 --> 00:14:51.951 Maybe I can work up to let the Lord lead me to be a pastor. 00:14:51.951 --> 00:15:00.648 It's because I finally saw some people that were authentic, and so that's why we're talking about all this. 00:15:01.379 --> 00:15:06.068 That's why this chapter is so important, because we need people who are not fake. 00:15:06.068 --> 00:15:11.791 We need people who are real, and so that we can all grow together. 00:15:11.791 --> 00:15:18.190 In truth, jesus made us to be in community. 00:15:18.190 --> 00:15:30.969 A lot of people are kind of going against that nowadays, saying that you don't need the community of the institution of the church, but the Bible says clearly different. 00:15:30.969 --> 00:15:36.071 Now I know that the church as we do it today wasn't set up like this in the Bible. 00:15:36.071 --> 00:15:43.845 It was in somebody's home, and hopefully these are some big homes, because I hear of, you know, 3,000, 4,000, 5,000 people getting saved. 00:15:43.845 --> 00:15:46.621 That's a big house right now. 00:15:46.621 --> 00:15:56.168 I'm sure it was many homes, but we today have this opportunity to gather together because our laws allow us to do this, and this is incredible. 00:15:56.168 --> 00:16:02.089 I mean, this is really what we came to America for was so that we could have freedom of religion to do these things right. 00:16:02.089 --> 00:16:04.442 But Jesus made us to be in community. 00:16:04.442 --> 00:16:08.086 He didn't make us to be all on our own and be separated and pull apart. 00:16:08.086 --> 00:16:09.528 He made us to be together. 00:16:09.528 --> 00:16:17.533 Because we grow together, we receive all the gifts that the Lord has given us when we all come together. 00:16:19.041 --> 00:16:29.243 But again, we've got to be honest, because to be there for one another, we must be an honest community To grow in each other, to grow with each other. 00:16:29.243 --> 00:16:39.647 We've got to be honest with one another and so I want to ask you what is the most important component of any relationship, any? 00:16:39.647 --> 00:16:41.328 A lot of people say oh. 00:16:41.328 --> 00:16:54.383 A lot of people say oh, it's love, oh, it's this, it's honesty, it's truth, because without it there can be no relationship. 00:16:54.383 --> 00:16:54.823 It can't. 00:16:54.823 --> 00:17:07.542 You can't have a relationship at all if there's lies, if there's dishonesty, if you're fake on your side or they're fake on their side. 00:17:07.542 --> 00:17:10.528 You're in relationship with an imposter, with a fake person, an actor or an actress. 00:17:10.528 --> 00:17:15.262 We don't want any of that here in our body of Christ. 00:17:15.262 --> 00:17:20.401 That's why this chapter is so important that we become an honest community with one another. 00:17:21.363 --> 00:17:25.670 But where does community first start First start? 00:17:25.670 --> 00:17:28.295 Did I say start First start? 00:17:28.295 --> 00:17:39.743 It always starts in our family, because our first community and the most important community that we are in is our family, our home. 00:17:39.743 --> 00:17:52.430 Moms and dads, you hear this the community you have at home is more important than this one, because you're going to account for where those children go. 00:17:52.430 --> 00:17:59.492 I'm going to account for what happens to my kids if I don't raise them properly. 00:17:59.492 --> 00:18:03.509 They have a choice in the future that they have to make. 00:18:03.509 --> 00:18:13.579 They have a choice in the future that they have to make, but I will be responsible for not showing them the right way. 00:18:13.579 --> 00:18:15.853 And so we first have to start this honest community at home before we can ever come in here. 00:18:16.342 --> 00:18:21.871 So I wanted to take a step back, and you've got to remember the chapter that we have chapter 7, is only like three or four pages long. 00:18:21.871 --> 00:18:23.625 They can't dig into everything. 00:18:23.625 --> 00:18:39.054 That's super important, but we've got to step on that today because, without you being real at home and teaching our family at home how to live, forget it here, because it's useless, it's an imposter. 00:18:39.054 --> 00:18:48.434 If your kids are seeing someone different here than they're seeing at home, you're an imposter, you're a liar. 00:18:48.434 --> 00:18:58.147 Have you shared your testimony with your children and told them how God has changed your life, or are you still hiding some of those pieces? 00:18:58.147 --> 00:19:07.141 You know how often I hear that guys, that guys, like I know parents. 00:19:07.141 --> 00:19:14.934 At this point it's crazy because I still don't feel like I'm 40, 41 this month, or 26 for the 15th time my imposter, right, I still can't believe that. 00:19:14.934 --> 00:19:16.142 But I've lived long enough. 00:19:16.142 --> 00:19:24.229 Now that I have, you know, friends that have kids in their teens, I still can't believe I'm saying that, but I do. 00:19:24.229 --> 00:19:26.719 And the fact that I'll talk to their teens I still can't believe I'm saying that, but I do. 00:19:26.719 --> 00:19:39.446 And the fact that I'll talk to their teens me knowing their parents and their teens dealing with something that I remember mom and dad dealing with and they don't know mom and dad ever dealt with it. 00:19:39.446 --> 00:19:45.010 And now they think that they've got to hide it from mom and dad because they would be totally ashamed. 00:19:47.462 --> 00:19:49.048 What kind of house are we living in? 00:19:49.048 --> 00:19:51.247 A house of lies. 00:19:51.247 --> 00:19:56.511 Our kids need to know we are sinners saved by grace. 00:19:56.511 --> 00:20:04.213 Our kids need to see how we were so that they see how good God has been. 00:20:04.213 --> 00:20:06.867 They need to see our testimony. 00:20:06.867 --> 00:20:15.192 They need to see how he's changed our life, how we have become different only through the blood of Jesus Christ. 00:20:15.192 --> 00:20:29.032 Because what that does for them just as I was talking about earlier, finally seeing men in my life mess up it helps our kids in our home to see we don't have to live perfect lives. 00:20:29.032 --> 00:20:31.114 We don't have to live perfect lives. 00:20:31.114 --> 00:20:31.518 We don't have to be. 00:20:31.518 --> 00:20:38.693 That way we can live normal lives, but then we show them what it looks like to live for the Lord. 00:20:38.693 --> 00:20:40.746 Are we going to mess up? 00:20:40.746 --> 00:20:42.205 Absolutely we're going to mess up. 00:20:42.701 --> 00:20:45.048 I mess up weekly, maybe daily. 00:20:45.048 --> 00:20:52.252 You'd have to ask my wife, and it's important for me to be slow to anger, quick to repent. 00:20:52.252 --> 00:20:56.688 A lot of people stop at the slow to anger. 00:20:56.688 --> 00:20:57.550 I know I need to stop it. 00:20:57.550 --> 00:21:12.134 No, you need to be quick to repent Because any time left there of not repenting grows your heart harder and harder and harder, harder and harder and harder. 00:21:12.134 --> 00:21:16.730 Truth is as big a pill it is for me to swallow when I'm coming to repent to my children. 00:21:16.730 --> 00:21:23.272 That pill is tiny compared to if I wait a day, two days. 00:21:23.272 --> 00:21:32.170 I got to rehash everything and that pill becomes much bigger, and that's why I believe it says to be quick to repent. 00:21:33.520 --> 00:21:36.705 Some of this actually is not even in my words today, but I just feel like the Lord was saying it. 00:21:36.705 --> 00:21:45.227 We need to be ready to be real with our kids, real with our family, real community at home. 00:21:45.227 --> 00:21:47.367 We need to be truthful with our spouses. 00:21:47.367 --> 00:21:56.182 Listen, guys and gals, if there's any hidden, anything in your life that you've not shared with your spouse. 00:21:56.182 --> 00:22:03.555 You're lying, I'm lying, and I was even asking the Lord this week. 00:22:03.555 --> 00:22:08.030 God, is there some things that I've held back right now that I've not told my wife? 00:22:08.030 --> 00:22:10.746 Am I giving her half-truths? 00:22:10.746 --> 00:22:12.089 Half-truths are a lie. 00:22:12.089 --> 00:22:15.028 We remember Scott talking on that months ago. 00:22:15.028 --> 00:22:16.419 Half-truths is a lie. 00:22:16.419 --> 00:22:18.508 Why is there? 00:22:19.320 --> 00:22:26.950 I had to come to my wife this week and repent because there was some half-truths or some things that I just hadn't told her. 00:22:26.950 --> 00:22:29.868 I never lied about it because she didn't ask about it. 00:22:29.868 --> 00:22:31.385 Don't we like how that one works? 00:22:31.385 --> 00:22:34.986 She didn't ask about it. 00:22:34.986 --> 00:22:36.335 Don't we like how that one works? 00:22:36.335 --> 00:22:36.717 She didn't ask. 00:22:36.717 --> 00:22:40.672 So I didn't lie, but I didn't repent. 00:22:40.672 --> 00:22:51.880 I repented to God, but then the Lord's like but you still haven't repented to her, and so I had to do that this week and that's what I was telling her. 00:22:51.880 --> 00:22:57.251 I was like, look, I'm preaching this sermon and it's hitting me hard, but I did. 00:22:57.251 --> 00:22:57.853 I came to her. 00:22:58.740 --> 00:23:06.344 So these truths must be at home first, or the rest of the world around us is make-believe Starts in our family. 00:23:06.344 --> 00:23:10.166 Then it comes out Because where are we the most? 00:23:10.166 --> 00:23:10.628 Ourself? 00:23:10.628 --> 00:23:18.448 At home, and I hope that we're not being imposters and lying at home, because that's really undesirable. 00:23:18.448 --> 00:23:24.705 And then that undesirability comes into here when we're trying to be a part of this community, because this is our family. 00:23:24.705 --> 00:23:35.646 Again, you've heard my little story and you'll hear me all the time saying you are my church family Because you are, you're my family and are You're my family, and I love being with my family. 00:23:35.646 --> 00:23:42.333 You guys are my new Saturday mornings because I love being with you. 00:23:43.140 --> 00:23:48.929 But see, oftentimes and we've seen this, and I'm not even saying here, when I'm talking the church, I'm talking about church in general. 00:23:48.929 --> 00:23:52.826 Okay, I'm not saying that Trinity is awful at this, none of that, ever. 00:23:52.826 --> 00:23:56.854 I believe we are really good at being a part of community. 00:23:56.854 --> 00:24:02.211 I know that we have areas we can grow in, but I really believe that we do a good job at this. 00:24:02.211 --> 00:24:10.364 But oftentimes people come into the church and don't stay because the Christian community is often shallow and stagnant. 00:24:10.364 --> 00:24:20.871 Because they're coming because they want authentic people, they want an authentic community and they've heard about this, jesus Christ, that changes lives. 00:24:20.871 --> 00:24:31.907 And then they come into a community where people's lives haven't been changed, because they're perfect and they're holier than thou. 00:24:31.907 --> 00:24:36.670 And oh, I'm going to call out everything in you but nothing in myself. 00:24:36.670 --> 00:24:45.547 I'll get to that in a second See, because if I'm dishonest with you, our trust is broken and our relationship unravels. 00:24:48.160 --> 00:24:56.434 I'm trying to catch up in my notes from stepping off of them just a second ago. 00:24:56.434 --> 00:25:06.691 So truth and honesty are the most important part of any relationship. 00:25:06.691 --> 00:25:13.521 So let's turn to Scripture and while we're headed there, I want to tell you just real quick my whole life. 00:25:13.521 --> 00:25:15.506 Ephesians 4.15,. 00:25:15.506 --> 00:25:21.346 I've looked at it one way, one way only, and that was pointed away from me. 00:25:21.346 --> 00:25:26.330 Okay, I've always read this Scripture that it's an outward Scripture. 00:25:26.330 --> 00:25:28.325 So let's look at it. 00:25:28.325 --> 00:25:30.683 Ephesians 4.15,. 00:25:31.586 --> 00:25:44.133 Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow in every way into him, who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped. 00:25:44.133 --> 00:25:51.131 When each part is working properly, it makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love. 00:25:51.131 --> 00:25:56.445 Now, how I looked at it was always outward, so I'm going to use Tyler. 00:25:56.445 --> 00:26:05.349 If Tyler did something and was wrong, and he continues to do something wrong, I need to go to him in truth, but in a loving way. 00:26:05.349 --> 00:26:10.025 Now, as true as that is, am I not a part of this community? 00:26:10.025 --> 00:26:20.105 Am I telling the truth of myself in love and that hit me two weeks ago. 00:26:20.105 --> 00:26:25.849 Wow, I need to be truthful in love. 00:26:25.849 --> 00:26:34.171 I need to be truthful about who I am, the real me If I I say I love you. 00:26:34.171 --> 00:26:37.907 So we need it to point. 00:26:37.907 --> 00:26:47.253 So, rather than speaking the truth of ourselves in love, we are to grow in every way in Christ. 00:26:47.253 --> 00:26:54.252 See, that's how we grow in every way in Christ, through truth. 00:26:54.252 --> 00:27:02.134 It goes on to say that the body builds itself up in love when I'm being truthful with you and you're being truthful with me. 00:27:03.780 --> 00:27:17.751 So, in my opinion, if you have any lie, any not full truth, if you're still laying it on that side of the string, I would venture to say that you are not loving fully. 00:27:17.751 --> 00:27:25.104 In some ways, I would say you don't truly love them and spouses. 00:27:25.104 --> 00:27:26.829 That's for you today too. 00:27:26.829 --> 00:27:45.530 If you're still holding anything from your wife, from your husband, if there's something in your past that you haven't talked about, you haven't told them, you're still afraid of what they might think, what approval you might get or disapproval you might get. 00:27:45.530 --> 00:27:54.114 I don't see that as loving, because now you're going to reveal something to them, just like the person pulling up beside me in the car knocking on my window. 00:27:54.114 --> 00:27:58.429 Wait, that's not who you said you were. 00:27:58.429 --> 00:28:03.150 You've been showing me this, but you've been holding all of these lies. 00:28:03.150 --> 00:28:07.029 Who is this person now that you're trying to introduce me to? 00:28:08.881 --> 00:28:10.708 And we don't want that here in the community either. 00:28:10.708 --> 00:28:15.722 We're supposed to be real with one another in every way. 00:28:15.722 --> 00:28:23.362 We're built on honesty, so it helps us when we belong to the body here. 00:28:23.362 --> 00:28:25.788 It's just like the wall outside. 00:28:25.788 --> 00:28:29.839 We belong to the community in real relationships. 00:28:29.839 --> 00:28:32.894 We belong to the community in real relationships. 00:28:32.894 --> 00:28:34.942 Then we let's do that slide. 00:28:34.942 --> 00:28:38.105 Then we grow together in love. 00:28:38.105 --> 00:28:43.671 Then we serve those who are in need and help them belong. 00:28:43.671 --> 00:28:47.776 Then we grow in relationships in love. 00:28:47.776 --> 00:28:57.423 Then together we serve those who are in need and help them to belong. 00:28:57.423 --> 00:28:58.044 Do I need to do it again? 00:28:58.044 --> 00:28:58.945 So that's who we are. 00:28:58.945 --> 00:29:04.095 We're Trinity because we're helping each other belong, grow and serve. 00:29:05.800 --> 00:29:08.424 But you can't truly belong if you're not honest. 00:29:08.424 --> 00:29:12.612 You can't truly grow if you're not honest. 00:29:12.612 --> 00:29:16.483 You can't truly serve unless you're honest. 00:29:16.483 --> 00:29:19.730 And then we can't make the circle again. 00:29:19.730 --> 00:29:32.154 See, the thing is, guys, is we need your real faults to go with my real faults, because I'm not perfect, I screw up. 00:29:32.154 --> 00:29:41.589 Oftentimes the view of myself is I'm way worse than any of you, because I know I'm a faulted man. 00:29:41.589 --> 00:29:53.191 And the truth is, guys, I know that you're faulted humans and it's okay to be honest about that, because then we can grow. 00:29:54.965 --> 00:30:01.691 Now the original direction of the Scripture that I'd always seen in Ephesians 4.15 was you need to tell the truth in love. 00:30:01.691 --> 00:30:05.236 And we do need to be truthful at all times, no matter what. 00:30:05.236 --> 00:30:14.230 That does mean that if your wife asks you, do you like this dress, I'm going to go there Because we're at home. 00:30:14.230 --> 00:30:16.608 Where did I say we're going to be truthful at? 00:30:16.608 --> 00:30:17.872 In our home. 00:30:17.932 --> 00:30:21.965 First, your wife says do you like this dress? 00:30:21.965 --> 00:30:26.094 If you do not like the dress, don't be a liar. 00:30:26.094 --> 00:30:29.058 They don't want you to lie. 00:30:29.058 --> 00:30:31.749 They don't want you to lie. 00:30:31.749 --> 00:30:35.917 So my wife asked do you like this dress? 00:30:35.917 --> 00:30:37.767 No, I do not. 00:30:37.767 --> 00:30:42.496 You're still beautiful, but I don't like the dress. 00:30:42.496 --> 00:30:43.919 And my wife has seen that. 00:30:43.919 --> 00:30:45.346 She walked in. 00:30:45.346 --> 00:30:53.115 She went in through this phase where everything was really big and baggy and flowing, because that was the style 12 years ago or whatever. 00:30:53.115 --> 00:31:09.009 I hated it because she's beautiful and she didn't need to have something that looked like it was made for a 6'12", 380-pound dude and she's walking around with it and I told her that hey, do you like this? 00:31:09.009 --> 00:31:12.412 No, I hate this style. 00:31:12.412 --> 00:31:14.172 The style is hideous. 00:31:14.172 --> 00:31:23.278 You're beautiful and you would look much more beautiful if you'd wear things that fit you, did I not? 00:31:23.278 --> 00:31:27.372 Okay, because I need to be truthful. 00:31:27.372 --> 00:31:30.853 Truthful, because that's me truly loving her. 00:31:31.506 --> 00:31:36.493 Another example would be food Husbands, don't lie. 00:31:36.493 --> 00:31:39.211 My wife is an incredible cook. 00:31:39.211 --> 00:31:44.652 She follows recipes very, very good, everything that comes out of the recipe book. 00:31:44.652 --> 00:31:49.592 When she cooks it, it's juicy, it's cooked just right on the top, nothing's burnt. 00:31:49.592 --> 00:31:50.595 The bottom's never burnt. 00:31:50.595 --> 00:31:52.352 It's put together perfectly. 00:31:52.984 --> 00:31:54.736 But there are women you need to hear this. 00:31:54.736 --> 00:32:10.409 There are recipes in the world that should have never been written All right, and most of you are busy women and you're looking in a recipe book Some recipe books need to go into garbage and she will ask me what do you think about this meal? 00:32:10.409 --> 00:32:12.290 And she will ask me what do you think about this meal? 00:32:12.290 --> 00:32:16.476 Babe, I think you've done an amazing job preparing this meal. 00:32:16.476 --> 00:32:26.785 It's cooked perfectly, it's not burnt, the meat is juicy, but the recipe's terrible. 00:32:26.785 --> 00:32:31.261 Please don't ever make this recipe again. 00:32:31.303 --> 00:32:33.688 In my opinion, in my opinion. 00:32:33.688 --> 00:32:42.326 Thank you, mark, but she did ask me my opinion, right? 00:32:42.326 --> 00:32:45.409 So if I were to lie to her. 00:32:45.409 --> 00:32:46.549 Think about this. 00:32:46.549 --> 00:32:54.637 She makes the meal again next week and I have to endure it again While lying to her. 00:32:54.637 --> 00:32:55.778 Again. 00:32:55.778 --> 00:33:02.250 I'm building a lie on a lie on a lie. 00:33:03.532 --> 00:33:05.596 Well, but you said you liked the other dress. 00:33:05.596 --> 00:33:07.779 This one's just blue. 00:33:07.779 --> 00:33:08.866 It's the exact same dress. 00:33:08.866 --> 00:33:11.952 You lie again and you lie again. 00:33:11.952 --> 00:33:17.190 I know these are just minute little things, but they're truth. 00:33:17.190 --> 00:33:19.614 Truth always. 00:33:19.614 --> 00:33:20.997 She wants the truth. 00:33:20.997 --> 00:33:26.093 When she asks you a question, give her the truth, but in love. 00:33:26.093 --> 00:33:28.278 I know how my wife needs to hear things. 00:33:28.278 --> 00:33:32.314 Husbands, if you know your wife, you know how she needs to hear things. 00:33:32.314 --> 00:33:34.909 You know how you need to deliver the truth to her. 00:33:34.909 --> 00:33:39.550 She doesn't want to have truth, but she does want it, given in kindness and love and mercy. 00:33:39.550 --> 00:33:44.306 First time she ever asked me about a meal that she made yeah, I didn't give it to her the right way. 00:33:44.306 --> 00:33:45.207 No, this is terrible. 00:33:45.207 --> 00:33:49.152 And she got really mad at me and didn't cook for a week. 00:33:49.152 --> 00:33:55.480 And then I realized it's not her cooking, I don't like. 00:33:55.480 --> 00:33:57.471 It's the recipe I didn't like. 00:33:57.471 --> 00:34:00.092 I need to talk to her about the recipe. 00:34:00.092 --> 00:34:04.310 She took it much better the next time and she cooked the next night. 00:34:04.310 --> 00:34:08.132 Truth in love. 00:34:08.132 --> 00:34:10.411 So we need to. 00:34:10.411 --> 00:34:16.275 But now we're into the world, world and we're in here, even If someone asks you hey, do you think gay people are going to hell? 00:34:17.485 --> 00:34:22.909 If they're asking your opinion, your opinion doesn't matter, it's what the word of God says. 00:34:22.909 --> 00:34:28.213 Okay, and it's all about how you say it as well. 00:34:28.213 --> 00:34:35.338 If someone's asking you your opinion, hey, do you believe that this person is going to hell? 00:34:35.338 --> 00:34:39.315 It's not up to me to determine whether or not anyone goes to hell. 00:34:39.315 --> 00:34:48.025 I believe that the word of God says this and I believe that, because it says this, that is a statute from God. 00:34:48.025 --> 00:34:55.300 And the word of God says anyone who continues to practice in sin and feed their fleshly desires will not inherit the kingdom of heaven. 00:34:55.300 --> 00:35:00.389 Me personally, my opinion doesn't matter, god's opinion does. 00:35:00.389 --> 00:35:07.757 Nobody can argue with that, other than the Word is fallible and whatever. 00:35:07.757 --> 00:35:18.913 But see, it's all about how you bring the truth to someone in love, because it's not about what you think, it's about what God thinks when it comes to that. 00:35:18.913 --> 00:35:27.510 But it's also about bringing the truth always, because someone's going to come to you and they're going to see you need truth or that you mean truth. 00:35:28.465 --> 00:35:40.210 The thing is is there's been many times that Mark, tyler, neil have called me out and guys, it hurts to get you know. 00:35:40.210 --> 00:35:44.518 Your mentors, the guys that you love, tell you, dude, you're screwing up. 00:35:44.518 --> 00:35:52.132 But it's because I know they love me and if they left me where I was I would never grow. 00:35:52.132 --> 00:35:58.672 In the grace and mercy through Jesus Christ, I'm a real heavy belief person. 00:35:58.672 --> 00:36:26.253 You guys know that, and I can say certain things at times that's very arrogant and I didn't know that until I was called out and at times, even this week, reminded hey, you can sound like this, you know You're right, but unless you told me that I couldn't grow, I couldn't go to the Lord and say Lord, I need your help with this. 00:36:26.253 --> 00:36:36.315 Help me to see any grievous way inside myself that is unpleasing to you, which is then pouring out onto other people in wrong ways. 00:36:36.315 --> 00:36:39.554 Help me to see the ways that I need to change. 00:36:39.554 --> 00:36:43.835 I can't do that unless my community is being truthful and loved. 00:36:43.835 --> 00:36:58.728 But listen, you can't do that unless you have a relationship with people and unless you're being real with who you truly are and unless you're all right with somebody doing that to you. 00:36:58.728 --> 00:37:07.954 So if you're here today and you've got some truth, you really want to tell somebody, but Lord forbid somebody. 00:37:07.954 --> 00:37:09.443 Come tell you the truth. 00:37:09.443 --> 00:37:09.925 Keep your mouth shut. 00:37:09.925 --> 00:37:13.637 Don't go tell anybody anything until you get the plank out of your own eye Right. 00:37:13.637 --> 00:37:16.802 So move on here a little bit. 00:37:17.786 --> 00:37:20.010 So God calls us to walk in the light First. 00:37:20.010 --> 00:37:25.085 John 1, 5 says this is the message we have heard from Jesus. 00:37:25.085 --> 00:37:28.192 Where did the message come from From Jesus? 00:37:28.192 --> 00:37:31.139 And now declare to you God is light. 00:37:31.139 --> 00:37:34.313 There is no darkness in him at all. 00:37:34.313 --> 00:37:40.313 So we are lying if we say we have fellowship with God but go on living in spiritual darkness. 00:37:40.313 --> 00:37:42.351 We are not practicing the truth. 00:37:42.351 --> 00:37:55.476 But if we're living in the light, as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with one another or with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his son, cleanses us from our sin. 00:37:55.476 --> 00:38:12.737 It doesn't make us perfect we're not perfect here but when we are living in the light, just as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, while the Lord comes in and cleanses us of our sin. 00:38:12.737 --> 00:38:17.036 So if we say we have no sin, we're only fooling ourself and not living in the truth. 00:38:17.036 --> 00:38:22.831 But if we confess our sin to Him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all wickedness. 00:38:22.831 --> 00:38:26.795 So transparency there is what we see. 00:38:26.795 --> 00:38:29.333 Transparency is needed for growing. 00:38:30.644 --> 00:38:33.050