WEBVTT 00:00:02.399 --> 00:00:03.680 Good morning. 00:00:03.680 --> 00:00:06.719 And again, happy Mother's Day to all of the moms. 00:00:06.719 --> 00:00:08.880 I appreciate you so much. 00:00:08.880 --> 00:00:13.839 We're in our current sermon series on the book of Ephesians called In Christ. 00:00:13.839 --> 00:00:17.839 And the first half of that is understanding our identity in Christ, right? 00:00:17.839 --> 00:00:20.000 And who we are and who he's made us to be. 00:00:20.000 --> 00:00:24.559 And then the second half, which we're in now, is our purpose in Christ. 00:00:24.559 --> 00:00:33.359 So once we know our identity in him, then we can walk out the walk that he's asked us to walk, representing the family of the kingdom of God. 00:00:33.359 --> 00:00:38.479 Ephesians 5.18 says that we should be being filled with the Holy Spirit. 00:00:38.479 --> 00:00:40.000 Everybody agree with that? 00:00:40.000 --> 00:00:42.719 We need more of the Holy Spirit in our lives. 00:00:42.719 --> 00:00:51.439 And one of the outworkings of being filled with the Holy Spirit, according to Ephesians 5.21, is that we will submit to one another. 00:00:51.439 --> 00:00:53.679 Let me see if I can read it exactly. 00:00:53.679 --> 00:00:56.880 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 00:00:56.880 --> 00:01:02.880 That's what will happen as one of the evidences or one of the results of being filled with the Holy Spirit. 00:01:02.880 --> 00:01:08.480 And last week we talked about how that works within the relationship between husbands and wives. 00:01:08.480 --> 00:01:17.519 As wives submit to their husbands as unto Christ, and as husbands love their wives, even as Christ loves the church. 00:01:17.519 --> 00:01:25.920 And this week, Ephesians 6, verses 1 through 4 are verses, and we're going to be talking about the relationship between parents and children. 00:01:25.920 --> 00:01:27.680 Parents and children. 00:01:27.680 --> 00:01:37.519 The same concept of disciples of Christ living in godly submission is applied to this all-important relationship between parents and children. 00:01:37.519 --> 00:01:55.840 Now, one of the benefits about being a part of a multi-generational church is that not only do these verses and the message apply to you, but we get to reinforce or help those who are younger and have young children as they carry out the truths found in these scriptures, right? 00:01:55.840 --> 00:02:00.959 So there's no reason for us to unplug or to, you know, to daydream. 00:02:00.959 --> 00:02:04.000 We can focus in together because we're a part of a body. 00:02:04.000 --> 00:02:12.800 We're a family together, and each one of us helps the other by God's grace to accomplish the will of God found in the Word of God. 00:02:12.800 --> 00:02:13.439 Amen. 00:02:13.439 --> 00:02:15.599 So let's look at our passage for today. 00:02:15.599 --> 00:02:19.039 The title of today's sermon is Purposeful Parenting. 00:02:19.039 --> 00:02:22.240 Ephesians chapter 6, verses 1 through 4. 00:02:22.240 --> 00:02:27.120 It says, Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 00:02:27.120 --> 00:02:29.919 Honor your father and mother. 00:02:29.919 --> 00:02:37.680 This is the first commandment with the promise, that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land. 00:02:37.680 --> 00:02:46.080 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. 00:02:46.080 --> 00:02:47.599 Let's pray together. 00:02:47.599 --> 00:03:06.240 Father, we thank you that you are our Heavenly Father, that you are perfect in every way, and that you set for us an example of what it looks like to be a holy, godly, obviously, you are godly a parent, Father. 00:03:06.240 --> 00:03:12.719 And so we ask that you'd help us by your grace to emulate you in the way that we parent our children. 00:03:12.719 --> 00:03:16.159 We ask that you would cause there to be grace for change. 00:03:16.159 --> 00:03:23.759 We ask that you would also give grace for those who maybe look back on their lives and wish that they could have done things differently. 00:03:23.759 --> 00:03:29.520 Lord, we thank you that you are the one who can redeem even those moments and those times. 00:03:29.520 --> 00:03:32.240 Father, time is not a problem for you. 00:03:32.240 --> 00:03:46.960 And so we thank you and praise you, Father, for helping each and every one of us to understand your word, to apply it so that not only our lives will be changed, but others can watch and see the goodness of God in the way that we live our lives. 00:03:46.960 --> 00:03:48.479 In Jesus' name. 00:03:48.479 --> 00:03:49.439 Amen. 00:03:49.439 --> 00:03:55.039 So I want to give a shout out to my wife, the wonderful mother of our four children. 00:03:55.039 --> 00:03:58.800 And I just want to thank her for all of the years of dedication. 00:03:58.800 --> 00:04:02.319 She is literally an amazing mom. 00:04:02.319 --> 00:04:08.960 Also, I want to thank our daughters, who are moms as well, and doing an amazing job with their kids. 00:04:08.960 --> 00:04:12.719 And uh and also all of you, obviously. 00:04:12.719 --> 00:04:16.480 But I want to take a moment just for a moment and talk about my mom. 00:04:16.480 --> 00:04:22.240 So, my mom, one of the things that I appreciate most about her, and by the way, she's watching from Wyoming this morning. 00:04:22.240 --> 00:04:25.279 So I don't know if she can hear you or not, but everybody say hi. 00:04:25.279 --> 00:04:27.040 All right, there we go. 00:04:27.040 --> 00:04:29.279 She's watching from Wyoming this morning. 00:04:29.279 --> 00:04:36.480 And the thing that I really appreciate about my mom is she taught me the importance of loving Jesus at a very young age. 00:04:36.480 --> 00:04:40.959 In fact, she was the one who God used to lead me to Christ. 00:04:40.959 --> 00:04:44.720 And I wanted to tell you just a quick, funny story about my mom. 00:04:44.720 --> 00:04:47.680 Um, she could get things done no matter what, right? 00:04:47.680 --> 00:04:58.879 So my dad was out of town when I was about nine years old, and my mom gave me some things that I needed to do, and I decided that this was a time where she couldn't tell me what to do anymore. 00:04:58.879 --> 00:05:00.879 And so I said no. 00:05:00.879 --> 00:05:08.399 And uh then she uh proceeded to chase after me, and by the way, she was chasing after me to spank me. 00:05:08.399 --> 00:05:20.639 So back in the 1900s, uh parents used to spank their children, and my parents believed in those scriptures very well, and they followed them and obeyed them. 00:05:20.639 --> 00:05:22.639 And actually, can I be honest with you? 00:05:22.639 --> 00:05:24.319 I'm really, I'm really thankful for it. 00:05:24.319 --> 00:05:25.279 I really am. 00:05:25.279 --> 00:05:31.360 But anyway, uh she she, you know, I kept evading her, running from her, and she couldn't catch me. 00:05:31.360 --> 00:05:34.480 And finally she just walked out of the room and walked into the other room. 00:05:34.480 --> 00:05:36.959 And I'm feeling like Mr. 00:05:36.959 --> 00:05:44.079 You know, I've done it, I've accomplished it, I've broken my mom, you know, and I'm gloating over my victory. 00:05:44.079 --> 00:06:00.000 And I'm I'm outside, and all of a sudden I see a familiar car driving down our street, and the car turns into our driveway, and one of the uh elders from our church steps out of the car and starts walking towards me, and he said, Tyler, your mom called me. 00:06:00.000 --> 00:06:04.079 Bend over. 00:06:04.079 --> 00:06:12.800 See, see, back in those days, not only could your parents spank you, but they could give permission to other people to spank you. 00:06:12.800 --> 00:06:19.199 And so I got a lot more respect for my mom at the age of nine than I had ever had before that. 00:06:19.199 --> 00:06:24.560 So, anyway, I love you, mom, and uh look forward to seeing you soon. 00:06:24.560 --> 00:06:27.839 Um, all right, a little bit of fun, right? 00:06:27.839 --> 00:06:37.680 In our Bible passage today, the Holy Spirit, through Paul, gives some basic instructions concerning the way that godly families should live, right? 00:06:37.680 --> 00:06:43.920 And especially how they should live together, how they how families should operate and live together. 00:06:43.920 --> 00:06:49.600 So let's start with a premise that's not said here, but should be understood as an underlying premise. 00:06:49.600 --> 00:06:52.639 And this is found in Psalms 127, verse 3. 00:06:52.639 --> 00:06:55.519 I'm gonna read that from the New Living Translation. 00:06:55.519 --> 00:06:58.879 It says, Children are a gift from the Lord. 00:06:58.879 --> 00:07:00.800 Amen. 00:07:00.800 --> 00:07:03.279 They are a reward from him. 00:07:03.279 --> 00:07:15.279 Children are a gift from the Lord, they are a reward from him above all else, and believe me, there are times when we need to remind ourselves of this verse, right? 00:07:15.279 --> 00:07:34.959 We must understand that our children are given to us by God, and they are a blessing to us even when, even if, even though we're going through times that are difficult in parenting, we should choose to love them like God loves us, even when we don't deserve it. 00:07:34.959 --> 00:07:35.920 Amen. 00:07:35.920 --> 00:07:41.439 Aren't you thankful for Heavenly Father that chooses to love us in spite of us at times? 00:07:41.439 --> 00:07:47.279 We should choose to love our children even when they're not behaving like they should. 00:07:47.279 --> 00:07:54.000 In our passage, there are basically two instructions that are given to children and two instructions that are given to parents. 00:07:54.000 --> 00:07:57.519 And so we're gonna hit those four instructions together this morning. 00:07:57.519 --> 00:08:03.519 So let's look first at the instructions for children, starting in that first verse again. 00:08:03.519 --> 00:08:09.040 Children, the first point is children are required to obey their parents. 00:08:09.040 --> 00:08:15.839 And all the kids said, I heard a no. 00:08:15.839 --> 00:08:20.079 Somebody cast that out quick. 00:08:20.079 --> 00:08:21.120 All right, anyway. 00:08:21.120 --> 00:08:23.680 Children are required to obey their parents. 00:08:23.680 --> 00:08:28.639 It says, children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 00:08:28.639 --> 00:08:34.240 We see here by here in this scripture that we are required, it's not an option. 00:08:34.240 --> 00:08:36.559 We must obey our parents. 00:08:36.559 --> 00:08:41.360 Obedience literally means, in this verse, it means to hear under. 00:08:41.360 --> 00:08:50.559 It means to pay attention to, to be attentive, to listen, and then to obey, to follow through with what is spoken to them. 00:08:50.559 --> 00:08:54.320 Now, how many of you in your families have a huh problem? 00:08:54.320 --> 00:08:58.080 Do you guys know what a huh problem is? 00:08:58.080 --> 00:09:03.039 It's whenever you make a statement to your children, and what is it that they say? 00:09:03.039 --> 00:09:04.480 Huh? 00:09:04.480 --> 00:09:07.200 How many times can they say huh? 00:09:07.200 --> 00:09:07.919 Right? 00:09:07.919 --> 00:09:14.000 Now, we we have, obviously, we have an elevation of problems in our our modern culture, right? 00:09:14.000 --> 00:09:20.320 Not only is it that they may be distracted by something else, but now they always wear these things in their ears, right? 00:09:20.320 --> 00:09:22.879 And these things in their ears are doing what? 00:09:22.879 --> 00:09:29.039 Somebody said damaging their brains. 00:09:29.039 --> 00:09:41.440 Okay, that's not for this message, but anyway, these things are playing music, or they can actually noise cancel us to where they can't hear us. 00:09:41.440 --> 00:09:43.279 Now I know that they wouldn't do that. 00:09:43.279 --> 00:09:47.120 Our children love us dearly, so they would not noise cancel us. 00:09:47.120 --> 00:09:54.799 But anyway, children, it's important for you to listen attentively, for you to hear what your parents are saying. 00:09:54.799 --> 00:10:05.759 And parents, it's important for you to continue to teach your children to do that, to listen attentively, to listen so that they might obey. 00:10:05.759 --> 00:10:08.960 How many of you are tired of the repeat train as well? 00:10:08.960 --> 00:10:12.159 So we have the huh problem and we have the repeat train. 00:10:12.159 --> 00:10:13.360 Will you take out the trash? 00:10:13.360 --> 00:10:14.399 Will you take out the trash? 00:10:14.399 --> 00:10:16.399 Will you take out the trash tonight? 00:10:16.399 --> 00:10:22.240 We could start a whole uh, you know, we could write a bunch of songs with all of the things about. 00:10:22.240 --> 00:10:23.519 I have this question. 00:10:23.519 --> 00:10:30.240 Maybe, maybe this is just me, and I'm speaking for all the two for all the on the behalf of all the mamas out there. 00:10:30.240 --> 00:10:36.879 How many times does a child need to be taught how to put things in the dishwasher? 00:10:36.879 --> 00:10:40.240 Am I right? 00:10:40.240 --> 00:10:44.879 I mean, my goodness, it's like pretty straightforward from my perspective. 00:10:44.879 --> 00:10:55.919 It's like the the plates go here, the silverware goes here, they don't, but it's like this becomes, it can become like an everyday or at least an every week struggle, right? 00:10:55.919 --> 00:11:01.279 These are the things, and obviously I'm not talking about my family, I'm talking about other families out there. 00:11:01.279 --> 00:11:04.879 I try to never embarrass my own children, right? 00:11:04.879 --> 00:11:09.120 But remember, children learn through repetition. 00:11:09.120 --> 00:11:11.919 Children learn through repetition. 00:11:11.919 --> 00:11:14.559 Our job is to outlast them. 00:11:14.559 --> 00:11:22.159 And I don't mean in longevity in life, I'm talking about to outlast their will, right? 00:11:22.159 --> 00:11:30.960 To continue to repeat, not just in a given moment, but over time, the truth, so that they will walk in that truth. 00:11:30.960 --> 00:11:31.759 Amen. 00:11:31.759 --> 00:11:33.120 It is a hard job. 00:11:33.120 --> 00:11:37.279 In fact, parenting is probably the hardest job on the planet. 00:11:37.279 --> 00:11:41.759 It really is, but it has huge rewards as well. 00:11:41.759 --> 00:11:43.759 So children should obey their parents. 00:11:43.759 --> 00:11:45.039 And how should they do that? 00:11:45.039 --> 00:11:47.360 As if they are obeying God. 00:11:47.360 --> 00:11:48.240 What does it say? 00:11:48.240 --> 00:11:51.919 Children obey your parents in the Lord. 00:11:51.919 --> 00:11:57.840 Your parents aren't God, but you should obey them as if you were obeying God. 00:11:57.840 --> 00:12:04.639 You see, the ultimate goal of our parenting as Christians is that our children would learn to obey God. 00:12:04.639 --> 00:12:07.759 We're not teaching them just to obey us. 00:12:07.759 --> 00:12:13.039 Ultimately, we're teaching them what it looks like to obey God, right? 00:12:13.039 --> 00:12:15.039 We're setting a standard for them. 00:12:15.039 --> 00:12:21.759 We are disciples of Christ who are teaching our children to be disciples of Christ. 00:12:21.759 --> 00:12:29.679 If we allow them to disobey us continuously, we are in fact training them to disobey God. 00:12:29.679 --> 00:12:32.879 I want to encourage, especially our young parents. 00:12:32.879 --> 00:12:39.360 I know you're right in the trenches, and it can get very, very difficult when their favorite word is no. 00:12:39.360 --> 00:12:41.919 Right? 00:12:41.919 --> 00:12:49.759 But don't train your kids, don't teach your kids to disobey God by allowing them to disobey you. 00:12:49.759 --> 00:12:55.519 Obviously, children, and I want to make this abundantly clear, hear this if you hear nothing else. 00:12:55.519 --> 00:13:03.519 Children are not required, not required to obey their parents if they order them to sin against God. 00:13:03.519 --> 00:13:10.080 We must honor God above all things, right? 00:13:10.080 --> 00:13:12.639 Yes. 00:13:12.639 --> 00:13:17.440 So the next thing about obedience is it is the right thing for children to obey their parents. 00:13:17.440 --> 00:13:22.399 It says, children, obey your parents and the Lord, for this is right. 00:13:22.399 --> 00:13:36.960 This is a basic principle built in the very structure of family life that those who are immature, impulsive, and inexperienced, and I'm not talking about the dads, although at times we can act like that, right? 00:13:36.960 --> 00:13:50.639 But when our children are not yet fully developed in the area of their souls and their proper response and all of that, that they should submit to the authority of parents who should be older and wiser. 00:13:50.639 --> 00:13:53.759 It is the right thing to do. 00:13:53.759 --> 00:14:02.320 We as parents need this encouragement sometimes so that we don't grow weary in attempting to get our children to be obedient. 00:14:02.320 --> 00:14:10.480 It is a good thing to cause your children to create an atmosphere in your home where your children are obedient. 00:14:10.480 --> 00:14:11.279 Amen. 00:14:11.279 --> 00:14:15.519 Paul makes it abundantly clear in the book of Colossians why this is so important. 00:14:15.519 --> 00:14:21.600 He says, children obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 00:14:21.600 --> 00:14:27.360 You see, kids and young people, you are not just being obedient to your parents for their sake. 00:14:27.360 --> 00:14:33.039 You are being obedient to your parents as disciples of Jesus Christ, as followers of Jesus. 00:14:33.039 --> 00:14:36.639 You can honor the Lord by obeying your parents. 00:14:36.639 --> 00:14:40.240 It's a powerful thing that God has created within the family. 00:14:40.240 --> 00:14:43.840 Pleasing the Lord brings joy in our lives. 00:14:43.840 --> 00:14:46.159 It should create an atmosphere of joy. 00:14:46.159 --> 00:14:54.000 We should be excited about the fact that obedience creates an atmosphere for the Lord to be pleased. 00:14:54.000 --> 00:15:01.679 Also, another part of obedience is we must resist the culture of this world, which encourages disobedience. 00:15:01.679 --> 00:15:04.399 Can I just give you a little tidbit this morning? 00:15:04.399 --> 00:15:08.000 Please don't get your parenting advice from TikTok. 00:15:08.000 --> 00:15:17.600 There are a lot of well-meaning people out there that are telling you how to raise your children, but they're not using the word of God. 00:15:17.600 --> 00:15:24.639 The word of God is God's manual to us, his very word spoken to us. 00:15:24.639 --> 00:15:30.639 And if there's anybody who understands what it means to be a good parent, it is our Heavenly Father. 00:15:30.639 --> 00:15:35.039 And He's given us everything that we need in His Word. 00:15:35.039 --> 00:15:45.360 Now, the exposition of the Word, things like what we're doing here this morning, parenting workshops that are based on biblical principles, all of those things are helpful, right? 00:15:45.360 --> 00:15:50.320 But it all must find its foundation in the Word of God. 00:15:50.320 --> 00:15:53.360 So what does the world tell us concerning disobedience? 00:15:53.360 --> 00:16:01.279 In 2 Timothy 3, verses 1 through 5, it says, but understand this, that in the last days, are we living in the last days? 00:16:01.279 --> 00:16:03.679 I know we've heard that. 00:16:03.679 --> 00:16:06.960 Those of us who have been in church our whole lives, we've heard that our whole lives. 00:16:06.960 --> 00:16:09.120 But here, this just stands to reason. 00:16:09.120 --> 00:16:12.559 We must be closer to it than what we were when we were young. 00:16:12.559 --> 00:16:14.000 Right? 00:16:14.000 --> 00:16:17.120 We are living in the last days. 00:16:17.120 --> 00:16:21.440 Understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. 00:16:21.440 --> 00:16:32.399 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents. 00:16:32.399 --> 00:16:37.360 Interesting that that's part of the scope or the landscape of the last days. 00:16:37.360 --> 00:16:41.360 This is going to be an indicator, a sign of demarcation. 00:16:41.360 --> 00:17:02.159 Ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power, avoid such people. 00:17:02.159 --> 00:17:10.480 My friends, we cannot allow ourselves and our parenting to be negatively influenced by the world around us. 00:17:10.480 --> 00:17:11.759 Amen. 00:17:11.759 --> 00:17:26.480 Amy and I were recently on vacation and we went minigolfing with our sons. 00:17:26.480 --> 00:17:34.960 And I'm not going to tell, I'm not going to say who won, but hopefully you can tell by my humility who won. 00:17:34.960 --> 00:17:37.279 Anyway, moving on. 00:17:37.279 --> 00:17:42.480 I'm feeling the conviction right now, I should not have said that. 00:17:42.480 --> 00:17:52.240 Anyway, there was another family that was golfing behind us, and the they decided to play by different rules than what they normally played by. 00:17:52.240 --> 00:17:54.720 This was obvious to us by observation. 00:17:54.720 --> 00:18:06.480 One of the children had a very high sense of justice, to the point where, because the rules had been changed, they literally refused to go on. 00:18:06.480 --> 00:18:11.519 And this was not just displayed like in a mime type type of scenario. 00:18:11.519 --> 00:18:20.559 We were like seven, eight holes ahead of them, and we could hear the discussion going on in that on the green that they were on. 00:18:20.559 --> 00:18:24.240 Here's the part that was sad to me, saddest to me, maybe. 00:18:24.240 --> 00:18:25.839 And again, I don't sit in judgment. 00:18:25.839 --> 00:18:26.559 I don't know them. 00:18:26.559 --> 00:18:28.559 I have no idea what their scenario is. 00:18:28.559 --> 00:18:30.640 Could have just been a bad day. 00:18:30.640 --> 00:18:35.359 But what ended up happening is the father remained silent, it appeared. 00:18:35.359 --> 00:18:41.680 The mother attempted to bring some form of correction or at least settledness to the child. 00:18:41.680 --> 00:18:46.000 Eventually, the mom got so frustrated that she ended up storming off. 00:18:46.000 --> 00:18:59.119 And then the father went on playing with the other children and just allowing the child that had created this chaos to sort of pout and drag their putter along, even though they weren't playing, right? 00:18:59.119 --> 00:19:02.880 Eventually the mom came back and re-entered herself into the scene. 00:19:02.880 --> 00:19:05.359 Nothing was said, nothing was done. 00:19:05.359 --> 00:19:09.200 Things just moved on like nothing had ever happened. 00:19:09.200 --> 00:19:13.440 My friends, that is the way that the world lives. 00:19:13.440 --> 00:19:15.759 That is the way that the world parents. 00:19:15.759 --> 00:19:19.039 That is the way that families are dysfunctional. 00:19:19.039 --> 00:19:26.960 Again, we can all have moments in time like that, but that shouldn't be the general way that we live our lives as believers, right? 00:19:26.960 --> 00:19:28.160 We can live differently. 00:19:28.160 --> 00:19:32.720 What I'm encouraging you with is we can live differently than the rest of the world. 00:19:32.720 --> 00:19:35.440 And through doing that, we can be an example to them. 00:19:35.440 --> 00:19:42.000 So Amy and I have attempted to raise our family in such a way that they live differently than the world. 00:19:42.000 --> 00:19:42.960 We really have. 00:19:42.960 --> 00:19:46.880 And I just look at them this morning and I'm so proud of each and every one of them. 00:19:46.880 --> 00:19:50.960 When our kids were young, we chose to be fairly strict with them. 00:19:50.960 --> 00:19:58.319 In fact, to hear them now, we were really strict about such things, and especially the older ones concerning the younger ones. 00:19:58.319 --> 00:20:05.920 They have a feeling that we were disparagingly strict with them in comparison to the way that we are with the younger set, right? 00:20:05.920 --> 00:20:07.519 And maybe that's true, right? 00:20:07.519 --> 00:20:10.799 How many of you know as parents, we learn as we go? 00:20:10.799 --> 00:20:17.279 And so some things that we held tightly to before, we don't necessarily hold as tightly to. 00:20:17.279 --> 00:20:25.279 But when our kids were young, we chose to be strict about some things, especially the types of things they would listen to and watch, right? 00:20:25.279 --> 00:20:27.440 Um, and did you realize this? 00:20:27.440 --> 00:20:33.200 I don't know if you've ever sat down and watched children's shows, children's shows or movies. 00:20:33.200 --> 00:20:35.519 Most of them encourage what? 00:20:35.519 --> 00:20:38.640 Disobedience and rebellion. 00:20:38.640 --> 00:20:46.559 Most of them make the parents out to be idiots, bumbling idiots that are supposed to be like completely avoided. 00:20:46.559 --> 00:20:54.079 And every secret that we can keep from them, anything that we can do to trip them up or to mess with them is really amazing. 00:20:54.079 --> 00:20:56.799 That's like that that gets a big laugh, right? 00:20:56.799 --> 00:20:58.240 That gets a big laugh. 00:20:58.240 --> 00:21:02.880 So we need to be careful about what we allow our children to watch. 00:21:02.880 --> 00:21:10.720 Now, if you allow them to watch that, watch it with them and pause the TV and say, hey kids, tell me what was wrong there. 00:21:10.720 --> 00:21:14.000 What was wrong about what they just said or about what they just did? 00:21:14.000 --> 00:21:18.160 Call it a teachable moment and learn as a family together. 00:21:18.160 --> 00:21:20.319 We we had lots of teachable moments, right? 00:21:20.319 --> 00:21:25.680 Lots of times when Amy would say, and they still know this to this day, close your eyes. 00:21:25.680 --> 00:21:38.240 When you have young boys in the house, especially, the close your eyes mode is a good mode because even commercials can be inappropriate for anybody, but for young men's eyes. 00:21:38.240 --> 00:21:42.880 And hey, when she yells, close your eyes, mine are mine are closed too, I promise you. 00:21:42.880 --> 00:21:43.839 Right? 00:21:43.839 --> 00:21:45.519 So let's be careful. 00:21:45.519 --> 00:21:51.279 Let's make sure that we're teaching our children not to be disobedient like the world teaches them. 00:21:51.279 --> 00:21:59.680 Um we also want to be careful not to encourage them to judge others that live. 00:21:59.680 --> 00:22:01.440 Live differently, right? 00:22:01.440 --> 00:22:02.640 It's not our job. 00:22:02.640 --> 00:22:03.839 God is the judge. 00:22:03.839 --> 00:22:04.799 It's up to him. 00:22:04.799 --> 00:22:06.880 He deals with hearts and minds. 00:22:06.880 --> 00:22:12.720 Our job is to make sure that we're living according to the righteous standard that God has called us to live. 00:22:12.720 --> 00:22:13.200 Okay? 00:22:13.200 --> 00:22:14.240 All right. 00:22:14.240 --> 00:22:16.960 So first of all, children are required to obey their parents. 00:22:16.960 --> 00:22:21.519 The second command to children is that they are required to honor their parents. 00:22:21.519 --> 00:22:22.799 There is a difference. 00:22:22.799 --> 00:22:24.960 It says, honor your father and mother. 00:22:24.960 --> 00:22:31.200 This is the first commandment with the promise, that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land. 00:22:31.200 --> 00:22:34.880 Obedience is pretty straightforward, right? 00:22:34.880 --> 00:22:36.240 Do it. 00:22:36.240 --> 00:22:43.599 Take out the trash, do the dishes, clean your room, pick up your laundry. 00:22:43.599 --> 00:22:45.359 I could go on and on, right? 00:22:45.359 --> 00:22:47.200 So obedience is pretty straightforward. 00:22:47.200 --> 00:22:49.279 It's a list, it's a commandment. 00:22:49.279 --> 00:22:50.480 Honor is a little different. 00:22:50.480 --> 00:22:51.440 What is honor? 00:22:51.440 --> 00:22:54.799 Honor has more to do with the attitude of the heart. 00:22:54.799 --> 00:22:57.359 It has to do with an attitude. 00:22:57.359 --> 00:23:04.880 Did you know that Jesus, the thing that was so radical about him when he came, and if you read through the Sermon on the Mount, you see this clearly. 00:23:04.880 --> 00:23:13.119 So many of those who were religious were counting on their outward expression of their religion to make them holy. 00:23:13.119 --> 00:23:17.920 And Jesus shows up and says, Ah, actually, it's the heart that matters. 00:23:17.920 --> 00:23:20.960 It's the attitude of the heart that matters. 00:23:20.960 --> 00:23:22.880 He spent a lot of time doing that. 00:23:22.880 --> 00:23:28.720 My dad, one of the things that he did, can I just be honest with you, that was very annoying? 00:23:28.720 --> 00:23:33.920 He would tell my brother and I to change our attitude. 00:23:33.920 --> 00:23:40.960 So if he was correcting us and he could sense that we were bucking up or bowing up, he would say, change your attitude. 00:23:40.960 --> 00:23:43.200 And then he'd put a clock on it. 00:23:43.200 --> 00:23:45.839 So it started out maybe like five minutes. 00:23:45.839 --> 00:23:48.640 You have five minutes to change your attitude, right? 00:23:48.640 --> 00:24:00.640 And how many of you know when you're feeling that lump in your throat and you're all tense and you're wanting to hate everything that he's saying, even though inside somewhere you know that he's right. 00:24:00.640 --> 00:24:08.160 Eventually got to three minutes, two minutes, one minute, 30 seconds. 00:24:08.160 --> 00:24:13.119 And here's the famous line: he wouldn't just say, change your attitude, what else would he say? 00:24:13.119 --> 00:24:16.079 Or I'll change it for you. 00:24:16.079 --> 00:24:19.519 Change your attitude, or I'll change it for you. 00:24:19.519 --> 00:24:24.640 Trust me, I learned, my brother learned the hard way, unfortunately. 00:24:24.640 --> 00:24:26.319 I learned the easy way. 00:24:26.319 --> 00:24:28.480 Avoidance is amazing. 00:24:28.480 --> 00:24:40.240 If I could change my attitude within that time period and breathe and let go of the anger or whatever it was that I was feeling, things were going to be really good for me, right? 00:24:40.240 --> 00:24:43.680 So, anyway, honor has more to do with the heart. 00:24:43.680 --> 00:24:45.279 It's more to do with the attitude. 00:24:45.279 --> 00:24:49.119 It has more to do with the reason why we do something. 00:24:49.119 --> 00:24:56.160 So to honor someone is to value them and respect them, to value them with respect and to respect them. 00:24:56.160 --> 00:24:58.160 It is scriptural to honor your parents. 00:24:58.160 --> 00:25:02.559 We see it here, and the passage refers to the Ten Commandments. 00:25:02.559 --> 00:25:04.640 And one of the Ten Commandments is what? 00:25:04.640 --> 00:25:07.039 Honor your father and mother, right? 00:25:07.039 --> 00:25:15.119 So Jesus is is, or Paul is borrowing from that uh information from the Old Testament, bringing it forward. 00:25:15.119 --> 00:25:19.119 Jesus himself is our example in all things. 00:25:19.119 --> 00:25:20.559 Do you believe that? 00:25:20.559 --> 00:25:24.720 Listen to what it says of him in his early life with his parents. 00:25:24.720 --> 00:25:29.839 And he went down with them and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them. 00:25:29.839 --> 00:25:38.480 And his mother treasured up all these things in her heart, and Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man. 00:25:38.480 --> 00:25:46.240 If there's anybody on the face of the planet that could ever have told his parents what to do, it was Jesus. 00:25:46.240 --> 00:25:48.240 And yet, what did Jesus do? 00:25:48.240 --> 00:25:53.920 He submitted himself to his heavenly father first, but also to his earthly parents. 00:25:53.920 --> 00:25:59.200 And he grew in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and with man. 00:25:59.200 --> 00:26:04.400 So honoring your parents' kids and young people isn't putting them in the place of Jesus. 00:26:04.400 --> 00:26:06.880 None of your parents want to be Jesus. 00:26:06.880 --> 00:26:10.240 We want to be like Jesus, but we want you to look to him. 00:26:10.240 --> 00:26:13.599 He is your savior, he is the source of life. 00:26:13.599 --> 00:26:16.960 Parents are flawed and make mistakes. 00:26:16.960 --> 00:26:20.480 I know that's shocking to you, but I'm just being real with you. 00:26:20.480 --> 00:26:26.160 We as parents don't set out to do that, but we are flawed and we make mistakes. 00:26:26.160 --> 00:26:28.240 Some of them big mistakes. 00:26:28.240 --> 00:26:37.519 Honoring them looks like choosing to love and respect them in spite of their shortcomings, in spite of what they have done. 00:26:37.519 --> 00:26:41.200 And how many of you know that this isn't just a phenomenon with children? 00:26:41.200 --> 00:26:46.240 Many of us are of the age now where our children, our parents are aging. 00:26:46.240 --> 00:26:56.720 And we get an opportunity to continue to obey this scripture, to honor our father and mother by helping to care for them to the best of our ability in their last days. 00:26:56.720 --> 00:27:04.880 How many of you know it is the first responsibility within the Church of Jesus Christ for families to care for their people? 00:27:04.880 --> 00:27:17.839 The church is supposed to come along and come along and come us, what's the right word, beside, come beside them and help families as they take care of their people. 00:27:17.839 --> 00:27:18.480 Right? 00:27:18.480 --> 00:27:21.440 That's the biblical way, that's the biblical model. 00:27:21.440 --> 00:27:29.759 Encourage you to have that kind of attitude, even if and when parents have not been perfect, because it's the truth, they're not. 00:27:29.759 --> 00:27:33.680 So there are blessings attached to honoring your parents. 00:27:33.680 --> 00:27:37.680 It says that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land. 00:27:37.680 --> 00:27:41.920 God is so wise, he always sets his children up for success. 00:27:41.920 --> 00:27:43.039 Isn't that true? 00:27:43.039 --> 00:27:48.079 Every time he gives a commandment or instructs us in something, it's for our benefit. 00:27:48.079 --> 00:27:49.920 It's not for our harm, right? 00:27:49.920 --> 00:27:57.200 He wants to bless us, and one of the ways he chooses to do that is in response to us honoring our parents. 00:27:57.200 --> 00:28:05.359 Think about what would happen to a child who received no instruction, no parenting, no correction from their parents. 00:28:05.359 --> 00:28:07.279 What kind of citizens would they be? 00:28:07.279 --> 00:28:11.680 What kind of social aptitude would they have? 00:28:11.680 --> 00:28:15.279 How would they feel in their own lives? 00:28:15.279 --> 00:28:17.599 Would they be happy or would they be miserable? 00:28:17.920 --> 00:28:18.559 Miserable. 00:28:18.880 --> 00:28:20.559 Absolutely miserable. 00:28:20.559 --> 00:28:30.000 On the other hand, when parents do their jobs well and children respond properly to their care, God commands a blessing of a good long life. 00:28:30.000 --> 00:28:44.079 Now, we read that, we hear, we think of all of the exceptions to that, but I want you to know that whenever something is put forth in Scripture, God is sovereign and he gets to decide what that looks like, the length of time, right? 00:28:44.079 --> 00:28:47.920 A good long life can mean a lot of different things for different people. 00:28:47.920 --> 00:28:54.160 Obviously, our best life as followers of Christ is yet to be lived in eternity with God. 00:28:54.160 --> 00:29:06.400 My brother Brian, even though he lived a short life, has for the last 50-something years been experiencing the glory of God on a daily basis in heaven. 00:29:06.400 --> 00:29:09.599 And I'm so grateful that he gets to experience that. 00:29:09.599 --> 00:29:19.119 And I'm envious, not in an unhealthy way, but I look forward to the day when I'll be able to be reunited with him. 00:29:19.119 --> 00:29:23.920 And we'll get to sit and talk and get to know each other again, right? 00:29:23.920 --> 00:29:30.000 So just as children should obey and honor their parents, there are requirements placed on parents as well. 00:29:30.000 --> 00:29:35.119 Children, are you ready for us to switch roles and start commanding the parents about something? 00:29:35.119 --> 00:29:36.720 All right, let's do that. 00:29:36.720 --> 00:29:39.519 So it's not a one-sided relationship, right? 00:29:39.519 --> 00:29:44.880 The first thing is something we're not supposed to do, and the second thing is something we are supposed to do. 00:29:44.880 --> 00:29:50.079 So the first one is parents should not cause their children to be resentful. 00:29:50.079 --> 00:29:53.359 Parents should not cause their children to be resentful. 00:29:53.359 --> 00:29:56.960 It says, fathers do not provoke your children to anger. 00:29:56.960 --> 00:30:02.319 Fathers do not provoke your children to anger. 00:30:02.319 --> 00:30:08.720 This verse is primarily addressing fathers as the head of households, but it applies to the entire family. 00:30:08.720 --> 00:30:12.480 But I just want to say, moms, you get a free pass today. 00:30:12.480 --> 00:30:15.759 There's nothing wrong. 00:30:15.759 --> 00:30:20.400 We can't say anything negative concerning you and don't want to, right? 00:30:20.400 --> 00:30:31.359 But we should never forget, as parents, that our children are a gift from God and we are called to represent Him well as our heavenly Father to our children. 00:30:31.359 --> 00:30:32.960 We represent Him. 00:30:32.960 --> 00:30:37.119 We don't just represent ourselves and our own desires and our own demands. 00:30:37.119 --> 00:30:41.279 We are to act like Him and not like our flesh. 00:30:41.279 --> 00:30:48.079 So, what does that mean to not cause your children to be angry? 00:30:48.079 --> 00:30:51.119 Well, first of all, we shouldn't give our kids a moving target. 00:30:51.119 --> 00:30:53.359 How many of you like that as adults? 00:30:53.359 --> 00:31:01.119 When your boss says, hey, if you do a good job on this deal, if you close the deal, you're going to get a promotion and a raise. 00:31:01.119 --> 00:31:07.119 And you do a good job on that deal and it comes through and you go to your boss and say, Hey, we got it done. 00:31:07.119 --> 00:31:08.799 It's such a great, great thing. 00:31:08.799 --> 00:31:09.759 Everybody's happy. 00:31:09.759 --> 00:31:11.359 And the boss goes, you know what? 00:31:11.359 --> 00:31:17.119 I'm so sorry, but so-and-so complained, and so I gave them the promotion. 00:31:17.119 --> 00:31:19.119 I really apologize. 00:31:19.119 --> 00:31:19.680 Right? 00:31:19.680 --> 00:31:21.839 How would you feel about that? 00:31:21.839 --> 00:31:25.920 Yeah, maybe this happened to you in your life. 00:31:25.920 --> 00:31:27.680 I'm sorry if it has. 00:31:27.680 --> 00:31:30.880 But to be honest, we don't like to be treated like that. 00:31:30.880 --> 00:31:33.440 We don't like it as adults. 00:31:33.440 --> 00:31:36.000 How much should our children not like it? 00:31:36.000 --> 00:31:43.759 Let's be careful to be absolutely clear with our expectations to our kids and stick to those expectations. 00:31:43.759 --> 00:31:51.039 Let's be clear, let's be concise, let's be honest, let's be real, let's not continue to move the target. 00:31:51.039 --> 00:31:52.720 Let's show them a target. 00:31:52.720 --> 00:31:57.519 Let's let them aim for it, and then let's celebrate the small victories along the way. 00:31:57.519 --> 00:32:05.200 Hey, buddy, instead of being six foot over or six foot to the right or six foot to the left, you hit the target. 00:32:05.200 --> 00:32:06.400 This is awesome. 00:32:06.400 --> 00:32:07.440 Good job. 00:32:07.440 --> 00:32:11.039 You're not in the rings yet, but you hit the target. 00:32:11.039 --> 00:32:12.160 Good job. 00:32:12.160 --> 00:32:13.839 Awesome, right? 00:32:13.839 --> 00:32:24.559