Tyler Lynde: Good morning.
Tyler Lynde: And again, happy Mother's Day to all of the moms.
Tyler Lynde: I appreciate you so much.
Tyler Lynde: We're in our current sermon series on the book of Ephesians called In Christ.
Tyler Lynde: And the first half of that is understanding our identity in Christ, right?
Tyler Lynde: And who we are and who he's made us to be.
Tyler Lynde: And then the second half, which we're in now, is our purpose in Christ.
Tyler Lynde: So once we know our identity in him, then we can walk out the walk that he's asked us to walk, representing the family of the kingdom of God.
Tyler Lynde: Ephesians 5.18 says that we should be being filled with the Holy Spirit.
Tyler Lynde: Everybody agree with that?
Tyler Lynde: We need more of the Holy Spirit in our lives.
Tyler Lynde: And one of the outworkings of being filled with the Holy Spirit, according to Ephesians 5.21, is that we will submit to one another.
Tyler Lynde: Let me see if I can read it exactly.
Tyler Lynde: Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Tyler Lynde: That's what will happen as one of the evidences or one of the results of being filled with the Holy Spirit.
Tyler Lynde: And last week we talked about how that works within the relationship between husbands and wives.
Tyler Lynde: As wives submit to their husbands as unto Christ, and as husbands love their wives, even as Christ loves the church.
Tyler Lynde: And this week, Ephesians 6, verses 1 through 4 are verses, and we're going to be talking about the relationship between parents and children.
Tyler Lynde: Parents and children.
Tyler Lynde: The same concept of disciples of Christ living in godly submission is applied to this all-important relationship between parents and children.
Tyler Lynde: Now, one of the benefits about being a part of a multi-generational church is that not only do these verses and the message apply to you, but we get to reinforce or help those who are younger and have young children as they carry out the truths found in these scriptures, right?
Tyler Lynde: So there's no reason for us to unplug or to, you know, to daydream.
Tyler Lynde: We can focus in together because we're a part of a body.
Tyler Lynde: We're a family together, and each one of us helps the other by God's grace to accomplish the will of God found in the Word of God.
Tyler Lynde: Amen.
Tyler Lynde: So let's look at our passage for today.
Tyler Lynde: The title of today's sermon is Purposeful Parenting.
Tyler Lynde: Ephesians chapter 6, verses 1 through 4.
Tyler Lynde: It says, Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
Tyler Lynde: Honor your father and mother.
Tyler Lynde: This is the first commandment with the promise, that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.
Tyler Lynde: Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Tyler Lynde: Let's pray together.
Tyler Lynde: Father, we thank you that you are our Heavenly Father, that you are perfect in every way, and that you set for us an example of what it looks like to be a holy, godly, obviously, you are godly a parent, Father.
Tyler Lynde: And so we ask that you'd help us by your grace to emulate you in the way that we parent our children.
Tyler Lynde: We ask that you would cause there to be grace for change.
Tyler Lynde: We ask that you would also give grace for those who maybe look back on their lives and wish that they could have done things differently.
Tyler Lynde: Lord, we thank you that you are the one who can redeem even those moments and those times.
Tyler Lynde: Father, time is not a problem for you.
Tyler Lynde: And so we thank you and praise you, Father, for helping each and every one of us to understand your word, to apply it so that not only our lives will be changed, but others can watch and see the goodness of God in the way that we live our lives.
Tyler Lynde: In Jesus' name.
Tyler Lynde: Amen.
Tyler Lynde: So I want to give a shout out to my wife, the wonderful mother of our four children.
Tyler Lynde: And I just want to thank her for all of the years of dedication.
Tyler Lynde: She is literally an amazing mom.
Tyler Lynde: Also, I want to thank our daughters, who are moms as well, and doing an amazing job with their kids.
Tyler Lynde: And uh and also all of you, obviously.
Tyler Lynde: But I want to take a moment just for a moment and talk about my mom.
Tyler Lynde: So, my mom, one of the things that I appreciate most about her, and by the way, she's watching from Wyoming this morning.
Tyler Lynde: So I don't know if she can hear you or not, but everybody say hi.
Tyler Lynde: All right, there we go.
Tyler Lynde: She's watching from Wyoming this morning.
Tyler Lynde: And the thing that I really appreciate about my mom is she taught me the importance of loving Jesus at a very young age.
Tyler Lynde: In fact, she was the one who God used to lead me to Christ.
Tyler Lynde: And I wanted to tell you just a quick, funny story about my mom.
Tyler Lynde: Um, she could get things done no matter what, right?
Tyler Lynde: So my dad was out of town when I was about nine years old, and my mom gave me some things that I needed to do, and I decided that this was a time where she couldn't tell me what to do anymore.
Tyler Lynde: And so I said no.
Tyler Lynde: And uh then she uh proceeded to chase after me, and by the way, she was chasing after me to spank me.
Tyler Lynde: So back in the 1900s, uh parents used to spank their children, and my parents believed in those scriptures very well, and they followed them and obeyed them.
Tyler Lynde: And actually, can I be honest with you?
Tyler Lynde: I'm really, I'm really thankful for it.
Tyler Lynde: I really am.
Tyler Lynde: But anyway, uh she she, you know, I kept evading her, running from her, and she couldn't catch me.
Tyler Lynde: And finally she just walked out of the room and walked into the other room.
Tyler Lynde: And I'm feeling like Mr.
Tyler Lynde: You know, I've done it, I've accomplished it, I've broken my mom, you know, and I'm gloating over my victory.
Tyler Lynde: And I'm I'm outside, and all of a sudden I see a familiar car driving down our street, and the car turns into our driveway, and one of the uh elders from our church steps out of the car and starts walking towards me, and he said, Tyler, your mom called me.
Tyler Lynde: Bend over.
Tyler Lynde: See, see, back in those days, not only could your parents spank you, but they could give permission to other people to spank you.
Tyler Lynde: And so I got a lot more respect for my mom at the age of nine than I had ever had before that.
Tyler Lynde: So, anyway, I love you, mom, and uh look forward to seeing you soon.
Tyler Lynde: Um, all right, a little bit of fun, right?
Tyler Lynde: In our Bible passage today, the Holy Spirit, through Paul, gives some basic instructions concerning the way that godly families should live, right?
Tyler Lynde: And especially how they should live together, how they how families should operate and live together.
Tyler Lynde: So let's start with a premise that's not said here, but should be understood as an underlying premise.
Tyler Lynde: And this is found in Psalms 127, verse 3.
Tyler Lynde: I'm gonna read that from the New Living Translation.
Tyler Lynde: It says, Children are a gift from the Lord.
Tyler Lynde: Amen.
Tyler Lynde: They are a reward from him.
Tyler Lynde: Children are a gift from the Lord, they are a reward from him above all else, and believe me, there are times when we need to remind ourselves of this verse, right?
Tyler Lynde: We must understand that our children are given to us by God, and they are a blessing to us even when, even if, even though we're going through times that are difficult in parenting, we should choose to love them like God loves us, even when we don't deserve it.
Tyler Lynde: Amen.
Tyler Lynde: Aren't you thankful for Heavenly Father that chooses to love us in spite of us at times?
Tyler Lynde: We should choose to love our children even when they're not behaving like they should.
Tyler Lynde: In our passage, there are basically two instructions that are given to children and two instructions that are given to parents.
Tyler Lynde: And so we're gonna hit those four instructions together this morning.
Tyler Lynde: So let's look first at the instructions for children, starting in that first verse again.
Tyler Lynde: Children, the first point is children are required to obey their parents.
Tyler Lynde: And all the kids said, I heard a no.
Tyler Lynde: Somebody cast that out quick.
Tyler Lynde: All right, anyway.
Tyler Lynde: Children are required to obey their parents.
Tyler Lynde: It says, children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
Tyler Lynde: We see here by here in this scripture that we are required, it's not an option.
Tyler Lynde: We must obey our parents.
Tyler Lynde: Obedience literally means, in this verse, it means to hear under.
Tyler Lynde: It means to pay attention to, to be attentive, to listen, and then to obey, to follow through with what is spoken to them.
Tyler Lynde: Now, how many of you in your families have a huh problem?
Tyler Lynde: Do you guys know what a huh problem is?
Tyler Lynde: It's whenever you make a statement to your children, and what is it that they say?
Tyler Lynde: Huh?
Tyler Lynde: How many times can they say huh?
Tyler Lynde: Right?
Tyler Lynde: Now, we we have, obviously, we have an elevation of problems in our our modern culture, right?
Tyler Lynde: Not only is it that they may be distracted by something else, but now they always wear these things in their ears, right?
Tyler Lynde: And these things in their ears are doing what?
Tyler Lynde: Somebody said damaging their brains.
Tyler Lynde: Okay, that's not for this message, but anyway, these things are playing music, or they can actually noise cancel us to where they can't hear us.
Tyler Lynde: Now I know that they wouldn't do that.
Tyler Lynde: Our children love us dearly, so they would not noise cancel us.
Tyler Lynde: But anyway, children, it's important for you to listen attentively, for you to hear what your parents are saying.
Tyler Lynde: And parents, it's important for you to continue to teach your children to do that, to listen attentively, to listen so that they might obey.
Tyler Lynde: How many of you are tired of the repeat train as well?
Tyler Lynde: So we have the huh problem and we have the repeat train.
Tyler Lynde: Will you take out the trash?
Tyler Lynde: Will you take out the trash tonight?
Tyler Lynde: We could start a whole uh, you know, we could write a bunch of songs with all of the things about.
Tyler Lynde: I have this question.
Tyler Lynde: Maybe, maybe this is just me, and I'm speaking for all the two for all the on the behalf of all the mamas out there.
Tyler Lynde: How many times does a child need to be taught how to put things in the dishwasher?
Tyler Lynde: Am I right?
Tyler Lynde: I mean, my goodness, it's like pretty straightforward from my perspective.
Tyler Lynde: It's like the the plates go here, the silverware goes here, they don't, but it's like this becomes, it can become like an everyday or at least an every week struggle, right?
Tyler Lynde: These are the things, and obviously I'm not talking about my family, I'm talking about other families out there.
Tyler Lynde: I try to never embarrass my own children, right?
Tyler Lynde: But remember, children learn through repetition.
Tyler Lynde: Children learn through repetition.
Tyler Lynde: Our job is to outlast them.
Tyler Lynde: And I don't mean in longevity in life, I'm talking about to outlast their will, right?
Tyler Lynde: To continue to repeat, not just in a given moment, but over time, the truth, so that they will walk in that truth.
Tyler Lynde: Amen.
Tyler Lynde: It is a hard job.
Tyler Lynde: In fact, parenting is probably the hardest job on the planet.
Tyler Lynde: It really is, but it has huge rewards as well.
Tyler Lynde: So children should obey their parents.
Tyler Lynde: And how should they do that?
Tyler Lynde: As if they are obeying God.
Tyler Lynde: What does it say?
Tyler Lynde: Children obey your parents in the Lord.
Tyler Lynde: Your parents aren't God, but you should obey them as if you were obeying God.
Tyler Lynde: You see, the ultimate goal of our parenting as Christians is that our children would learn to obey God.
Tyler Lynde: We're not teaching them just to obey us.
Tyler Lynde: Ultimately, we're teaching them what it looks like to obey God, right?
Tyler Lynde: We're setting a standard for them.
Tyler Lynde: We are disciples of Christ who are teaching our children to be disciples of Christ.
Tyler Lynde: If we allow them to disobey us continuously, we are in fact training them to disobey God.
Tyler Lynde: I want to encourage, especially our young parents.
Tyler Lynde: I know you're right in the trenches, and it can get very, very difficult when their favorite word is no.
Tyler Lynde: Right?
Tyler Lynde: But don't train your kids, don't teach your kids to disobey God by allowing them to disobey you.
Tyler Lynde: Obviously, children, and I want to make this abundantly clear, hear this if you hear nothing else.
Tyler Lynde: Children are not required, not required to obey their parents if they order them to sin against God.
Tyler Lynde: We must honor God above all things, right?
Tyler Lynde: Yes.
Tyler Lynde: So the next thing about obedience is it is the right thing for children to obey their parents.
Tyler Lynde: It says, children, obey your parents and the Lord, for this is right.
Tyler Lynde: This is a basic principle built in the very structure of family life that those who are immature, impulsive, and inexperienced, and I'm not talking about the dads, although at times we can act like that, right?
Tyler Lynde: But when our children are not yet fully developed in the area of their souls and their proper response and all of that, that they should submit to the authority of parents who should be older and wiser.
Tyler Lynde: It is the right thing to do.
Tyler Lynde: We as parents need this encouragement sometimes so that we don't grow weary in attempting to get our children to be obedient.
Tyler Lynde: It is a good thing to cause your children to create an atmosphere in your home where your children are obedient.
Tyler Lynde: Amen.
Tyler Lynde: Paul makes it abundantly clear in the book of Colossians why this is so important.
Tyler Lynde: He says, children obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
Tyler Lynde: You see, kids and young people, you are not just being obedient to your parents for their sake.
Tyler Lynde: You are being obedient to your parents as disciples of Jesus Christ, as followers of Jesus.
Tyler Lynde: You can honor the Lord by obeying your parents.
Tyler Lynde: It's a powerful thing that God has created within the family.
Tyler Lynde: Pleasing the Lord brings joy in our lives.
Tyler Lynde: It should create an atmosphere of joy.
Tyler Lynde: We should be excited about the fact that obedience creates an atmosphere for the Lord to be pleased.
Tyler Lynde: Also, another part of obedience is we must resist the culture of this world, which encourages disobedience.
Tyler Lynde: Can I just give you a little tidbit this morning?
Tyler Lynde: Please don't get your parenting advice from TikTok.
Tyler Lynde: There are a lot of well-meaning people out there that are telling you how to raise your children, but they're not using the word of God.
Tyler Lynde: The word of God is God's manual to us, his very word spoken to us.
Tyler Lynde: And if there's anybody who understands what it means to be a good parent, it is our Heavenly Father.
Tyler Lynde: And He's given us everything that we need in His Word.
Tyler Lynde: Now, the exposition of the Word, things like what we're doing here this morning, parenting workshops that are based on biblical principles, all of those things are helpful, right?
Tyler Lynde: But it all must find its foundation in the Word of God.
Tyler Lynde: So what does the world tell us concerning disobedience?
Tyler Lynde: In 2 Timothy 3, verses 1 through 5, it says, but understand this, that in the last days, are we living in the last days?
Tyler Lynde: I know we've heard that.
Tyler Lynde: Those of us who have been in church our whole lives, we've heard that our whole lives.
Tyler Lynde: But here, this just stands to reason.
Tyler Lynde: We must be closer to it than what we were when we were young.
Tyler Lynde: Right?
Tyler Lynde: We are living in the last days.
Tyler Lynde: Understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty.
Tyler Lynde: For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents.
Tyler Lynde: Interesting that that's part of the scope or the landscape of the last days.
Tyler Lynde: This is going to be an indicator, a sign of demarcation.
Tyler Lynde: Ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power, avoid such people.
Tyler Lynde: My friends, we cannot allow ourselves and our parenting to be negatively influenced by the world around us.
Tyler Lynde: Amen.
Tyler Lynde: Amy and I were recently on vacation and we went minigolfing with our sons.
Tyler Lynde: And I'm not going to tell, I'm not going to say who won, but hopefully you can tell by my humility who won.
Tyler Lynde: Anyway, moving on.
Tyler Lynde: I'm feeling the conviction right now, I should not have said that.
Tyler Lynde: Anyway, there was another family that was golfing behind us, and the they decided to play by different rules than what they normally played by.
Tyler Lynde: This was obvious to us by observation.
Tyler Lynde: One of the children had a very high sense of justice, to the point where, because the rules had been changed, they literally refused to go on.
Tyler Lynde: And this was not just displayed like in a mime type type of scenario.
Tyler Lynde: We were like seven, eight holes ahead of them, and we could hear the discussion going on in that on the green that they were on.
Tyler Lynde: Here's the part that was sad to me, saddest to me, maybe.
Tyler Lynde: And again, I don't sit in judgment.
Tyler Lynde: I don't know them.
Tyler Lynde: I have no idea what their scenario is.
Tyler Lynde: Could have just been a bad day.
Tyler Lynde: But what ended up happening is the father remained silent, it appeared.
Tyler Lynde: The mother attempted to bring some form of correction or at least settledness to the child.
Tyler Lynde: Eventually, the mom got so frustrated that she ended up storming off.
Tyler Lynde: And then the father went on playing with the other children and just allowing the child that had created this chaos to sort of pout and drag their putter along, even though they weren't playing, right?
Tyler Lynde: Eventually the mom came back and re-entered herself into the scene.
Tyler Lynde: Nothing was said, nothing was done.
Tyler Lynde: Things just moved on like nothing had ever happened.
Tyler Lynde: My friends, that is the way that the world lives.
Tyler Lynde: That is the way that the world parents.
Tyler Lynde: That is the way that families are dysfunctional.
Tyler Lynde: Again, we can all have moments in time like that, but that shouldn't be the general way that we live our lives as believers, right?
Tyler Lynde: We can live differently.
Tyler Lynde: What I'm encouraging you with is we can live differently than the rest of the world.
Tyler Lynde: And through doing that, we can be an example to them.
Tyler Lynde: So Amy and I have attempted to raise our family in such a way that they live differently than the world.
Tyler Lynde: We really have.
Tyler Lynde: And I just look at them this morning and I'm so proud of each and every one of them.
Tyler Lynde: When our kids were young, we chose to be fairly strict with them.
Tyler Lynde: In fact, to hear them now, we were really strict about such things, and especially the older ones concerning the younger ones.
Tyler Lynde: They have a feeling that we were disparagingly strict with them in comparison to the way that we are with the younger set, right?
Tyler Lynde: And maybe that's true, right?
Tyler Lynde: How many of you know as parents, we learn as we go?
Tyler Lynde: And so some things that we held tightly to before, we don't necessarily hold as tightly to.
Tyler Lynde: But when our kids were young, we chose to be strict about some things, especially the types of things they would listen to and watch, right?
Tyler Lynde: Um, and did you realize this?
Tyler Lynde: I don't know if you've ever sat down and watched children's shows, children's shows or movies.
Tyler Lynde: Most of them encourage what?
Tyler Lynde: Disobedience and rebellion.
Tyler Lynde: Most of them make the parents out to be idiots, bumbling idiots that are supposed to be like completely avoided.
Tyler Lynde: And every secret that we can keep from them, anything that we can do to trip them up or to mess with them is really amazing.
Tyler Lynde: That's like that that gets a big laugh, right?
Tyler Lynde: That gets a big laugh.
Tyler Lynde: So we need to be careful about what we allow our children to watch.
Tyler Lynde: Now, if you allow them to watch that, watch it with them and pause the TV and say, hey kids, tell me what was wrong there.
Tyler Lynde: What was wrong about what they just said or about what they just did?
Tyler Lynde: Call it a teachable moment and learn as a family together.
Tyler Lynde: We we had lots of teachable moments, right?
Tyler Lynde: Lots of times when Amy would say, and they still know this to this day, close your eyes.
Tyler Lynde: When you have young boys in the house, especially, the close your eyes mode is a good mode because even commercials can be inappropriate for anybody, but for young men's eyes.
Tyler Lynde: And hey, when she yells, close your eyes, mine are mine are closed too, I promise you.
Tyler Lynde: Right?
Tyler Lynde: So let's be careful.
Tyler Lynde: Let's make sure that we're teaching our children not to be disobedient like the world teaches them.
Tyler Lynde: Um we also want to be careful not to encourage them to judge others that live.
Tyler Lynde: Live differently, right?
Tyler Lynde: It's not our job.
Tyler Lynde: God is the judge.
Tyler Lynde: It's up to him.
Tyler Lynde: He deals with hearts and minds.
Tyler Lynde: Our job is to make sure that we're living according to the righteous standard that God has called us to live.
Tyler Lynde: Okay?
Tyler Lynde: All right.
Tyler Lynde: So first of all, children are required to obey their parents.
Tyler Lynde: The second command to children is that they are required to honor their parents.
Tyler Lynde: There is a difference.
Tyler Lynde: It says, honor your father and mother.
Tyler Lynde: This is the first commandment with the promise, that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.
Tyler Lynde: Obedience is pretty straightforward, right?
Tyler Lynde: Do it.
Tyler Lynde: Take out the trash, do the dishes, clean your room, pick up your laundry.
Tyler Lynde: I could go on and on, right?
Tyler Lynde: So obedience is pretty straightforward.
Tyler Lynde: It's a list, it's a commandment.
Tyler Lynde: Honor is a little different.
Tyler Lynde: What is honor?
Tyler Lynde: Honor has more to do with the attitude of the heart.
Tyler Lynde: It has to do with an attitude.
Tyler Lynde: Did you know that Jesus, the thing that was so radical about him when he came, and if you read through the Sermon on the Mount, you see this clearly.
Tyler Lynde: So many of those who were religious were counting on their outward expression of their religion to make them holy.
Tyler Lynde: And Jesus shows up and says, Ah, actually, it's the heart that matters.
Tyler Lynde: It's the attitude of the heart that matters.
Tyler Lynde: He spent a lot of time doing that.
Tyler Lynde: My dad, one of the things that he did, can I just be honest with you, that was very annoying?
Tyler Lynde: He would tell my brother and I to change our attitude.
Tyler Lynde: So if he was correcting us and he could sense that we were bucking up or bowing up, he would say, change your attitude.
Tyler Lynde: And then he'd put a clock on it.
Tyler Lynde: So it started out maybe like five minutes.
Tyler Lynde: You have five minutes to change your attitude, right?
Tyler Lynde: And how many of you know when you're feeling that lump in your throat and you're all tense and you're wanting to hate everything that he's saying, even though inside somewhere you know that he's right.
Tyler Lynde: Eventually got to three minutes, two minutes, one minute, 30 seconds.
Tyler Lynde: And here's the famous line: he wouldn't just say, change your attitude, what else would he say?
Tyler Lynde: Or I'll change it for you.
Tyler Lynde: Change your attitude, or I'll change it for you.
Tyler Lynde: Trust me, I learned, my brother learned the hard way, unfortunately.
Tyler Lynde: I learned the easy way.
Tyler Lynde: Avoidance is amazing.
Tyler Lynde: If I could change my attitude within that time period and breathe and let go of the anger or whatever it was that I was feeling, things were going to be really good for me, right?
Tyler Lynde: So, anyway, honor has more to do with the heart.
Tyler Lynde: It's more to do with the attitude.
Tyler Lynde: It has more to do with the reason why we do something.
Tyler Lynde: So to honor someone is to value them and respect them, to value them with respect and to respect them.
Tyler Lynde: It is scriptural to honor your parents.
Tyler Lynde: We see it here, and the passage refers to the Ten Commandments.
Tyler Lynde: And one of the Ten Commandments is what?
Tyler Lynde: Honor your father and mother, right?
Tyler Lynde: So Jesus is is, or Paul is borrowing from that uh information from the Old Testament, bringing it forward.
Tyler Lynde: Jesus himself is our example in all things.
Tyler Lynde: Do you believe that?
Tyler Lynde: Listen to what it says of him in his early life with his parents.
Tyler Lynde: And he went down with them and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them.
Tyler Lynde: And his mother treasured up all these things in her heart, and Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man.
Tyler Lynde: If there's anybody on the face of the planet that could ever have told his parents what to do, it was Jesus.
Tyler Lynde: And yet, what did Jesus do?
Tyler Lynde: He submitted himself to his heavenly father first, but also to his earthly parents.
Tyler Lynde: And he grew in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and with man.
Tyler Lynde: So honoring your parents' kids and young people isn't putting them in the place of Jesus.
Tyler Lynde: None of your parents want to be Jesus.
Tyler Lynde: We want to be like Jesus, but we want you to look to him.
Tyler Lynde: He is your savior, he is the source of life.
Tyler Lynde: Parents are flawed and make mistakes.
Tyler Lynde: I know that's shocking to you, but I'm just being real with you.
Tyler Lynde: We as parents don't set out to do that, but we are flawed and we make mistakes.
Tyler Lynde: Some of them big mistakes.
Tyler Lynde: Honoring them looks like choosing to love and respect them in spite of their shortcomings, in spite of what they have done.
Tyler Lynde: And how many of you know that this isn't just a phenomenon with children?
Tyler Lynde: Many of us are of the age now where our children, our parents are aging.
Tyler Lynde: And we get an opportunity to continue to obey this scripture, to honor our father and mother by helping to care for them to the best of our ability in their last days.
Tyler Lynde: How many of you know it is the first responsibility within the Church of Jesus Christ for families to care for their people?
Tyler Lynde: The church is supposed to come along and come along and come us, what's the right word, beside, come beside them and help families as they take care of their people.
Tyler Lynde: Right?
Tyler Lynde: That's the biblical way, that's the biblical model.
Tyler Lynde: Encourage you to have that kind of attitude, even if and when parents have not been perfect, because it's the truth, they're not.
Tyler Lynde: So there are blessings attached to honoring your parents.
Tyler Lynde: It says that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.
Tyler Lynde: God is so wise, he always sets his children up for success.
Tyler Lynde: Isn't that true?
Tyler Lynde: Every time he gives a commandment or instructs us in something, it's for our benefit.
Tyler Lynde: It's not for our harm, right?
Tyler Lynde: He wants to bless us, and one of the ways he chooses to do that is in response to us honoring our parents.
Tyler Lynde: Think about what would happen to a child who received no instruction, no parenting, no correction from their parents.
Tyler Lynde: What kind of citizens would they be?
Tyler Lynde: What kind of social aptitude would they have?
Tyler Lynde: How would they feel in their own lives?
Tyler Lynde: Would they be happy or would they be miserable?
unknown: Miserable.
Tyler Lynde: Absolutely miserable.
Tyler Lynde: On the other hand, when parents do their jobs well and children respond properly to their care, God commands a blessing of a good long life.
Tyler Lynde: Now, we read that, we hear, we think of all of the exceptions to that, but I want you to know that whenever something is put forth in Scripture, God is sovereign and he gets to decide what that looks like, the length of time, right?
Tyler Lynde: A good long life can mean a lot of different things for different people.
Tyler Lynde: Obviously, our best life as followers of Christ is yet to be lived in eternity with God.
Tyler Lynde: My brother Brian, even though he lived a short life, has for the last 50-something years been experiencing the glory of God on a daily basis in heaven.
Tyler Lynde: And I'm so grateful that he gets to experience that.
Tyler Lynde: And I'm envious, not in an unhealthy way, but I look forward to the day when I'll be able to be reunited with him.
Tyler Lynde: And we'll get to sit and talk and get to know each other again, right?
Tyler Lynde: So just as children should obey and honor their parents, there are requirements placed on parents as well.
Tyler Lynde: Children, are you ready for us to switch roles and start commanding the parents about something?
Tyler Lynde: All right, let's do that.
Tyler Lynde: So it's not a one-sided relationship, right?
Tyler Lynde: The first thing is something we're not supposed to do, and the second thing is something we are supposed to do.
Tyler Lynde: So the first one is parents should not cause their children to be resentful.
Tyler Lynde: Parents should not cause their children to be resentful.
Tyler Lynde: It says, fathers do not provoke your children to anger.
Tyler Lynde: Fathers do not provoke your children to anger.
Tyler Lynde: This verse is primarily addressing fathers as the head of households, but it applies to the entire family.
Tyler Lynde: But I just want to say, moms, you get a free pass today.
Tyler Lynde: There's nothing wrong.
Tyler Lynde: We can't say anything negative concerning you and don't want to, right?
Tyler Lynde: But we should never forget, as parents, that our children are a gift from God and we are called to represent Him well as our heavenly Father to our children.
Tyler Lynde: We represent Him.
Tyler Lynde: We don't just represent ourselves and our own desires and our own demands.
Tyler Lynde: We are to act like Him and not like our flesh.
Tyler Lynde: So, what does that mean to not cause your children to be angry?
Tyler Lynde: Well, first of all, we shouldn't give our kids a moving target.
Tyler Lynde: How many of you like that as adults?
Tyler Lynde: When your boss says, hey, if you do a good job on this deal, if you close the deal, you're going to get a promotion and a raise.
Tyler Lynde: And you do a good job on that deal and it comes through and you go to your boss and say, Hey, we got it done.
Tyler Lynde: It's such a great, great thing.
Tyler Lynde: Everybody's happy.
Tyler Lynde: And the boss goes, you know what?
Tyler Lynde: I'm so sorry, but so-and-so complained, and so I gave them the promotion.
Tyler Lynde: I really apologize.
Tyler Lynde: Right?
Tyler Lynde: How would you feel about that?
Tyler Lynde: Yeah, maybe this happened to you in your life.
Tyler Lynde: I'm sorry if it has.
Tyler Lynde: But to be honest, we don't like to be treated like that.
Tyler Lynde: We don't like it as adults.
Tyler Lynde: How much should our children not like it?
Tyler Lynde: Let's be careful to be absolutely clear with our expectations to our kids and stick to those expectations.
Tyler Lynde: Let's be clear, let's be concise, let's be honest, let's be real, let's not continue to move the target.
Tyler Lynde: Let's show them a target.
Tyler Lynde: Let's let them aim for it, and then let's celebrate the small victories along the way.
Tyler Lynde: Hey, buddy, instead of being six foot over or six foot to the right or six foot to the left, you hit the target.
Tyler Lynde: This is awesome.
Tyler Lynde: Good job.
Tyler Lynde: You're not in the rings yet, but you hit the target.
Tyler Lynde: Good job.
Tyler Lynde: Awesome, right?
Tyler Lynde: We should never, and the re what how important this is, is we should be careful to never give a command to our children unless we intend for it to be obeyed.
Tyler Lynde: Never give a command that you don't intend for it to be obeyed.
Tyler Lynde: So it's not just setting up a target that uh that moves, right?
Tyler Lynde: It's being inconsistent.
Tyler Lynde: How many of you have learned that parenting, if it is anything, it requires in it requires consistency.
Tyler Lynde: We must be consistent with our children, right?
Tyler Lynde: Um, this the next thing is that we shouldn't make unreasonable demands of our kids.
Tyler Lynde: It's one thing to have high expectations for our children, and I think that's a good thing, right?
Tyler Lynde: Um, but it's another thing to put undue pressure on them that is that they're not able to measure up to.
Tyler Lynde: And I've seen this most clearly in sports families.
Tyler Lynde: And what I mean by sports families is the mom or dad wants to relive their glory days, the good old days when they were an athlete and and they excelled in a particular sport, and so they want their kids to excel in a particular sport.
Tyler Lynde: Have you ever been to these things where these games where they're not even keeping the score, but some parent is yelling, hey Junior.
Tyler Lynde: They're not like they're they very rarely do that to say, good job.
Tyler Lynde: Hey Junior, are you stupid?
Tyler Lynde: You know?
Tyler Lynde: Turn around, whatever it is.
Tyler Lynde: So we need to be careful about putting unreasonable demands on our children.
Tyler Lynde: That's that also includes being age-wise.
Tyler Lynde: Sometimes we expect our children to act like adults before they're even ready to do that.
Tyler Lynde: So let's be careful about putting too much on them than what the Lord Himself would actually put on them.
Tyler Lynde: And then finally, in this section, we shouldn't treat our children harshly.
Tyler Lynde: We shouldn't children treating children harshly.
Tyler Lynde: You know what?
Tyler Lynde: If there's anything in this life that I have a difficulty with, especially when it has happened through me, it sickens me to think about how much abuse goes on within families, even of those who call themselves Christians.
Tyler Lynde: You know, there are times there are times when you cannot distinctively tell the difference between Christian parents and parents that are in this world that who don't know Jesus.
Tyler Lynde: We should never abuse our children verbally, emotionally, or physically.
Tyler Lynde: I'm gonna add sexually.
Tyler Lynde: We should never abuse our children in any way.
Tyler Lynde: This is what really bothers me more than anything, baby.
Tyler Lynde: Some people treat their pets better than they do their children.
Tyler Lynde: Stop it.
Tyler Lynde: If that is you, repent.
Tyler Lynde: Repent and turn towards the Lord.
Tyler Lynde: One of the things, again, talking about my dad that I really appreciated is that he very rarely disciplined us in anger.
Tyler Lynde: I can only remember a couple of times when he was angry.
Tyler Lynde: The majority of the time he would send us to our room and he would go to his room.
Tyler Lynde: And honestly, for me, that was some of the worst punishment of all.
Tyler Lynde: That waiting period, right?
Tyler Lynde: The anticipation.
Tyler Lynde: And I would hear him walk across the house and he would use a belt to spank us, and I would hear that belt hitting something.
Tyler Lynde: And I didn't realize until much later when I talked to him that he would hit himself with the belt to remind himself what it felt like.
Tyler Lynde: So that when he came in to spank us, that he wouldn't go overboard, that he wouldn't be abusive to us.
Tyler Lynde: One of the times I thought that I would just be amazingly cunning.
Tyler Lynde: And so back in the day, you guys know what vinyl records are?
Tyler Lynde: They're coming back.
Tyler Lynde: Actually, we just had Ben's graduation party.
Tyler Lynde: Congratulations, Ben.
Tyler Lynde: And at his party, they were playing a record player, an actual record player with a needle and all of that.
Tyler Lynde: But I decided that, you know, my brother and I put on sweatpants and we stuck albums in a particular location.
Tyler Lynde: My dad came in the room, and as he traditionally said, he said, Bend over.
Tyler Lynde: We bent over, and within just a few seconds he left the room.
Tyler Lynde: And then he came back, and we found out later he left the room because he started laughing.
Tyler Lynde: He went and my, I guess my mom and him had a big laugh, you know, it was hilarious.
Tyler Lynde: We didn't think it was that funny.
Tyler Lynde: But he he came back in, and of course, we removed the vinyl and we received our spanking.
Tyler Lynde: But I still believe that that was the least, there was the least sting in that spanking of anyone I have ever received.
Tyler Lynde: Oh, kids are people are getting ideas all over the place, right?
Tyler Lynde: Uh Colossians 3.21 says, Fathers, do not provoke your children lest they become discouraged.
Tyler Lynde: This world is filled with depression, anxiety, and fear, and worry.
Tyler Lynde: Parents and especially dads, let's not add to that.
Tyler Lynde: Let's not cause our kids by the way that we're treating them to feel how Satan wants them to feel.
Tyler Lynde: Let's make sure that we're embracing what God wants for our kids.
Tyler Lynde: And the lastly, the last command, this is a positive one.
Tyler Lynde: Parents should raise their children to follow Jesus.
Tyler Lynde: It says, Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Tyler Lynde: This is our primary role as parents.
Tyler Lynde: This is our number one purpose.
Tyler Lynde: More than anything else we can do is to train and teach our kids to love God and to love his ways.
Tyler Lynde: If we have done that, we have accomplished our purpose.
Tyler Lynde: Right?
Tyler Lynde: So we should teach our kids.
Tyler Lynde: What does teaching mean?
Tyler Lynde: Teaching our kids is telling them what is right and wrong, it's speaking, it's instruction, it's it's done in a nurturing way that gives them a chance to properly respond.
Tyler Lynde: We should teach them early and often about who God is and what He alone, He alone is the source of truth.
Tyler Lynde: They need to understand that we are all sinners in need of God's grace, and God's grace is what saves us and transforms us and what keeps us.
Tyler Lynde: We should teach our children to love the Bible, to love the church.
Tyler Lynde: Yes, I said it, to love the church and so many other things.
Tyler Lynde: These this is our privilege and our honor and our responsibility is to teach our children to love Jesus.
Tyler Lynde: You see, the reality is our children need to be born again, not just to act right.
Tyler Lynde: There are a lot of religions in this world that do not follow Jesus, and they are strict to the core, and their children obey to the letter of the law, and yet their hearts are far from God.
Tyler Lynde: Our children need to be born again, not just to act right.
Tyler Lynde: So we should teach our children, and lastly, we should train our children.
Tyler Lynde: How does training look different than teaching?
Tyler Lynde: Teaching is do this, don't do this.
Tyler Lynde: Training is what?
Tyler Lynde: Act like me.
Tyler Lynde: Do what I do.
Tyler Lynde: Act like I act, respond like I respond.
Tyler Lynde: It's showing them what is right and wrong.
Tyler Lynde: Do as I say and not as I do is not the thing.
Tyler Lynde: Here's what we should say to our kids: do as Jesus does, as I'm attempting to do by his grace, so that you in turn will follow him as well.
Tyler Lynde: Not do as I say, not as I do.
Tyler Lynde: Training is often done best when there's an apology attached to our mistakes.
Tyler Lynde: Aren't you thankful for the mercy of God?
Tyler Lynde: Some of us, even as adult parents, and I just want to say clearly to my kids, even this morning, no where Jordan, there's Jordan.
Tyler Lynde: I love each and every one of you, and I apologize even now for anything that I've ever said or done that has been harmful to you or that has made you feel disconnected from God or that uh has been disrespectful to you.
Tyler Lynde: I love you very much.
Tyler Lynde: I just encourage you, even as adult parents, a well-placed apology that is heartfelt is very important.
Tyler Lynde: We are not Jesus.
Tyler Lynde: We are not perfect, but we need to acknowledge that to them so they don't place how we are as a filter that they use on God.
Tyler Lynde: There's a difference between us and God.
Tyler Lynde: And here's the truth: God loves our kids even more than we do.
Tyler Lynde: He's cheering us on in our endeavors to raise godly children.
Tyler Lynde: He is loving it.
Tyler Lynde: He loves it when we follow his commands.
Tyler Lynde: He has promised that when he starts a good work in our lives, that he will complete it.
Tyler Lynde: It's his job to complete it.
Tyler Lynde: For those who are prodigals, guess what?
Tyler Lynde: They are in the hands of a living God.
Tyler Lynde: He has promised that when he starts a good work, like I said, he will complete it.
Tyler Lynde: Days are long and years are short.
Tyler Lynde: Keep a positive mindset.
Tyler Lynde: We must always be thinking ahead and not get discouraged over one-day struggles or a rough season.
Tyler Lynde: This is not a defeat.
Tyler Lynde: In fact, God is working in us to sanctify us through our kids.
Tyler Lynde: Have you realized that?
Tyler Lynde: Sometimes God does his best teaching through our children.
Tyler Lynde: We must keep our eye on the bigger picture, our family, and the individuals that make up a small part of God's big story, and he works all things together for good for those who love God and are called according to his purpose.
Tyler Lynde: Counted all joy.
Tyler Lynde: Never give up on your children.
Tyler Lynde: God never gives up on us, and he will give us the power to never give up on our children.
Tyler Lynde: Always remember that love will carry us through the difficult times.
Tyler Lynde: Realize that there will be a time that your children will rise up and call you blessed.
Tyler Lynde: They will thank you for your love and for your consistency.
Tyler Lynde: Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but when they have their own blessed little children who need Jesus, they will come to you and say, Hey mom, hey dad, I thank you so much for the way that you parented us.
Tyler Lynde: Right?
Tyler Lynde: Are you encouraged this morning?
Tyler Lynde: This is the word of God, and this is the word of God that God gives us his grace to walk in.
Tyler Lynde: Amen.
Tyler Lynde: Let's just pray together for the parents in this room as well as those who are watching online and the multi generations that are involved in helping to shepherd the children that are under our care.
Tyler Lynde: Father, we thank you and praise you for this day.
Tyler Lynde: We thank you for the words that have been spoken, uh the songs that have been sung.
Tyler Lynde: The ways that you have interacted with us this morning.
Tyler Lynde: And Lord, we thank you that as we celebrate Mother's Day today, we ask, Lord, that you would help us to take even more seriously the job that we have as parents, not just to teach our kids to do the right thing or to kind of mold their wills, but Father, that we would understand that the greatest privilege we have in this life is living out in front of them what it looks like to be a follower of Jesus, so that in so doing, that they will see our good works and glorify our Father, which is in heaven.
Tyler Lynde: Father, help our kids to live as they are, as your kids.
Tyler Lynde: Bless them, bless the parents.
Tyler Lynde: We ask for the gift of obedience and respect and honor within the children that are a part of this church and beyond.
Tyler Lynde: And we ask for us as parents that you would forgive us for the times.
Tyler Lynde: When we have lost our control, when we have been angry and been harsh with our children, forgive us, Father.
Tyler Lynde: Cleanse us.
Tyler Lynde: Help us to change if that's our situation.
Tyler Lynde: Even now, Lord, give us grace to change.
Tyler Lynde: And Father, most importantly, help us to be those who follow you in such a way that we teach our children to follow you as well.
Tyler Lynde: We give you glory in Jesus' name.
Tyler Lynde: Amen.