In Christ - Purposeful Parenting

Parenting advice can sound brilliant—right up until 7:00am on a school day. In Purposeful Parenting, part of the In Christ series, Tyler Lynde opens Ephesians 6:1–4 and shows how the Spirit-filled life shapes ordinary family moments. Flowing from identity to purpose, he calls parents and kids alike to live under Christ’s loving authority so that the home becomes a place where God’s ways feel normal and grace is visible.

Tyler first slows down on “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right” and shows that obedience is more than getting chores done. It trains attention, humility, and a readiness to obey God. He names the quiet discipleship happening through entertainment, social media, and cultural scripts that celebrate rebellion and mock parents, and urges families to resist letting the world do the shaping. If you’re exhausted by repetition, take heart—repetition is part of discipleship, and consistent follow-through teaches that words matter and that doing what is right brings blessing and stability (Colossians 3:20; Psalm 127:3).

Then he moves to “Honor your father and mother,” clarifying that honor isn’t identical to obedience; it’s a posture of heart that values and respects imperfect parents. Tyler connects the promise attached to this command with God’s wise design for flourishing and stretches honor across life stages, including how adult children can care for aging parents as they are able.

Turning to parents, Tyler addresses “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger,” applying it to moms and dads alike (Colossians 3:21). He identifies common provocations—moving targets, inconsistency, harshness, and age-inappropriate demands—and calls for clarity, consistency, and celebrating small wins. Discipline and “instruction of the Lord” are never fear-based control; they are correction guided by love, self-control, and a desire to build up rather than crush a child’s spirit.

Finally, Tyler centers the aim: raise children to follow Jesus. Teaching tells kids what is right and wrong; training shows them in real time. That means modeling repentance, owning failures, and pointing beyond “good behavior” to new hearts. For weary parents and those praying for prodigals, he offers sturdy hope: days are long and years are short, but God finishes what he starts. Children are a gift, and grace can redeem the past and empower the present.

If you’re ready for biblical clarity and practical courage in the chaos, watch or listen and consider one change you can make in your home this week.

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Transcript

Mother’s Day And Series Context

Tyler Lynde 0:02

Good morning. And again, happy Mother's Day to all of the moms. I appreciate you so much. We're in our current sermon series on the book of Ephesians called In Christ. And the first half of that is understanding our identity in Christ, right? And who we are and who he's made us to be. And then the second half, which we're in now, is our purpose in Christ. So once we know our identity in him, then we can walk out the walk that he's asked us to walk, representing the family of the kingdom of God. Ephesians 5.18 says that we should be being filled with the Holy Spirit. Everybody agree with that? We need more of the Holy Spirit in our lives. And one of the outworkings of being filled with the Holy Spirit, according to Ephesians 5.21, is that we will submit to one another. Let me see if I can read it exactly. Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. That's what will happen as one of the evidences or one of the results of being filled with the Holy Spirit. And last week we talked about how that works within the relationship between husbands and wives. As wives submit to their husbands as unto Christ, and as husbands love their wives, even as Christ loves the church. And this week, Ephesians 6, verses 1 through 4 are verses, and we're going to be talking about the relationship between parents and children. Parents and children. The same concept of disciples of Christ living in godly submission is applied to this all-important relationship between parents and children. Now, one of the benefits about being a part of a multi-generational church is that not only do these verses and the message apply to you, but we get to reinforce or help those who are younger and have young children as they carry out the truths found in these scriptures, right? So there's no reason for us to unplug or to, you know, to daydream. We can focus in together because we're a part of a body. We're a family together, and each one of us helps the other by God's grace to accomplish the will of God found in the Word of God. Amen. So let's look at our passage

Purposeful Parenting In Ephesians 6

Tyler Lynde 2:15

for today. The title of today's sermon is Purposeful Parenting. Ephesians chapter 6, verses 1 through 4. It says, Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother. This is the first commandment with the promise, that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Let's pray together. Father, we thank you that you are our Heavenly Father, that you are perfect in every way, and that you set for us an example of what it looks like to be a holy, godly, obviously, you are godly a parent, Father. And so we ask that you'd help us by your grace to emulate you in the way that we parent our children. We ask that you would cause there to be grace for change. We ask that you would also give grace for those who maybe look back on their lives and wish that they could have done things differently. Lord, we thank you that you are the one who can redeem even those moments and those times. Father, time is not a problem for you. And so we thank you and praise you, Father, for helping each and every one of us to understand your word, to apply it so that not only our lives will be changed, but others can watch and see the goodness of God in the way that we live our lives. In Jesus' name. Amen. So I want to give a shout out to my wife, the wonderful mother of our four children. And I just want to thank her for all of the years of dedication. She is literally an amazing mom. Also, I want to thank our daughters, who are moms as well, and doing an amazing job with their kids. And uh and also all of you, obviously. But I want to take a moment just for a moment

A Mom Story About Respect

Tyler Lynde 4:15

and talk about my mom. So, my mom, one of the things that I appreciate most about her, and by the way, she's watching from Wyoming this morning. So I don't know if she can hear you or not, but everybody say hi. All right, there we go. She's watching from Wyoming this morning. And the thing that I really appreciate about my mom is she taught me the importance of loving Jesus at a very young age. In fact, she was the one who God used to lead me to Christ. And I wanted to tell you just a quick, funny story about my mom. Um, she could get things done no matter what, right? So my dad was out of town when I was about nine years old, and my mom gave me some things that I needed to do, and I decided that this was a time where she couldn't tell me what to do anymore. And so I said no. And uh then she uh proceeded to chase after me, and by the way, she was chasing after me to spank me. So back in the 1900s, uh parents used to spank their children, and my parents believed in those scriptures very well, and they followed them and obeyed them. And actually, can I be honest with you? I'm really, I'm really thankful for it. I really am. But anyway, uh she she, you know, I kept evading her, running from her, and she couldn't catch me. And finally she just walked out of the room and walked into the other room. And I'm feeling like Mr. You know, I've done it, I've accomplished it, I've broken my mom, you know, and I'm gloating over my victory. And I'm I'm outside, and all of a sudden I see a familiar car driving down our street, and the car turns into our driveway, and one of the uh elders from our church steps out of the car and starts walking towards me, and he said, Tyler, your mom called me. Bend over. See, see, back in those days, not only could your parents spank you, but they could give permission to other people to spank you. And so I got a lot more respect for my mom at the age of nine than I had ever had before that. So, anyway, I love you, mom, and uh look forward to seeing you soon. Um, all right, a little bit of fun, right? In our Bible passage today, the Holy Spirit, through Paul, gives some basic instructions concerning the

Children Are A Gift From God

Tyler Lynde 6:35

way that godly families should live, right? And especially how they should live together, how they how families should operate and live together. So let's start with a premise that's not said here, but should be understood as an underlying premise. And this is found in Psalms 127, verse 3. I'm gonna read that from the New Living Translation. It says, Children are a gift from the Lord. Amen. They are a reward from him. Children are a gift from the Lord, they are a reward from him above all else, and believe me, there are times when we need to remind ourselves of this verse, right? We must understand that our children are given to us by God, and they are a blessing to us even when, even if, even though we're going through times that are difficult in parenting, we should choose to love them like God loves us, even when we don't deserve it. Amen. Aren't you thankful for Heavenly Father that chooses to love us in spite of us at times? We should choose to love our children even when they're not behaving like they should. In our passage, there are basically two instructions that are given to children and two instructions that are given to parents. And so we're gonna hit those four instructions together this morning. So let's look first at the instructions for children, starting in that first verse again. Children, the first point is

Teaching Kids Obedience To God

Tyler Lynde 8:05

children are required to obey their parents. And all the kids said, I heard a no. Somebody cast that out quick. All right, anyway. Children are required to obey their parents. It says, children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. We see here by here in this scripture that we are required, it's not an option. We must obey our parents. Obedience literally means, in this verse, it means to hear under. It means to pay attention to, to be attentive, to listen, and then to obey, to follow through with what is spoken to them. Now, how many of you in your families have a huh problem? Do you guys know what a huh problem is? It's whenever you make a statement to your children, and what is it that they say? Huh? How many times can they say huh? Right? Now, we we have, obviously, we have an elevation of problems in our our modern culture, right? Not only is it that they may be distracted by something else, but now they always wear these things in their ears, right? And these things in their ears are doing what? Somebody said damaging their brains. Okay, that's not for this message, but anyway, these things are playing music, or they can actually noise cancel us to where they can't hear us. Now I know that they wouldn't do that. Our children love us dearly, so they would not noise cancel us. But anyway, children, it's important for you to listen attentively, for you to hear what your parents are saying. And parents, it's important for you to continue to teach your children to do that, to listen attentively, to listen so that they might obey. How many of you are tired of the repeat train as well? So we have the huh problem and we have the repeat train. Will you take out the trash? Will you take out the trash? Will you take out the trash tonight? We could start a whole uh, you know, we could write a bunch of songs with all of the things about. I have this question. Maybe, maybe this is just me, and I'm speaking for all the two for all the on the behalf of all the mamas out there. How many times does a child need to be taught how to put things in the dishwasher? Am I right? I mean, my goodness, it's like pretty straightforward from my perspective. It's like the the plates go here, the silverware goes here, they don't, but it's like this becomes, it can become like an everyday or at least an every week struggle, right? These are the things, and obviously I'm not talking about my family, I'm talking about other families out there. I try to never embarrass my own children, right? But remember, children learn through repetition. Children learn through repetition. Our job is to outlast them. And I don't mean in longevity in life, I'm talking about to outlast their will, right? To continue to repeat, not just in a given moment, but over time, the truth, so that they will walk in that truth. Amen. It is a hard job. In fact, parenting is probably the hardest job on the planet. It really is, but it has huge rewards as well. So children should obey their parents. And how should they do that? As if they are obeying God. What does it say? Children obey your parents in the Lord. Your parents aren't God, but you should obey them as if you were obeying God. You see, the ultimate goal of our parenting as Christians is that our children would learn to obey God. We're not teaching them just to obey us. Ultimately, we're teaching them what it looks like to obey God, right? We're setting a standard for them. We are disciples of Christ who are teaching our children to be disciples of Christ. If we allow them to disobey us continuously, we are in fact training them to disobey God. I want to encourage, especially our young parents. I know you're right in the trenches, and it can get very, very difficult when their favorite word is no. Right? But don't train your kids, don't teach your kids to disobey God by allowing them to disobey you. Obviously, children, and I want to make this abundantly clear, hear this if you hear nothing else. Children are not required, not required to obey their parents if they order them to sin against God. We must honor God above all things, right? Yes. So the next thing about obedience is it is the right thing for children to obey their parents. It says, children, obey your parents and the Lord, for this is right. This is a basic principle built in the very structure of family life that those who are immature, impulsive, and inexperienced, and I'm not talking about the dads, although at times we can act like that, right? But when our children are not yet fully developed in the area of their souls and their proper response and all of that, that they should submit to the authority of parents who should be older and wiser. It is the right thing to do. We as parents need this encouragement sometimes so that we don't grow weary in attempting to get our children to be obedient. It is a good thing to cause your children to create an atmosphere in your home where your children are obedient. Amen. Paul makes it abundantly clear in the book of Colossians why this is so important. He says, children obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. You see, kids and young people, you are not just being obedient to your parents for their sake. You are being obedient to your parents as disciples of Jesus Christ, as followers of Jesus. You can honor the Lord by obeying your parents. It's a powerful thing that God has created within the family. Pleasing the Lord brings joy in our lives. It should create an atmosphere of joy. We should be excited about the fact that obedience creates an atmosphere for the Lord to be pleased. Also, another part of obedience is we must resist the culture of this world, which encourages disobedience. Can I just give you a little tidbit this morning? Please don't get your parenting advice from TikTok. There are a lot of well-meaning people out there that are telling you how to raise your children, but they're not using the word of God. The word of God is God's manual to us, his very word spoken to us. And if there's anybody who understands what it means to be a good parent, it is our Heavenly Father. And He's given us everything that we need in His Word. Now, the exposition of the Word, things like what we're doing here this morning, parenting workshops that are based on biblical principles, all of those things are helpful, right? But it all must find its foundation in the Word of God. So what does the world tell us concerning disobedience? In 2 Timothy 3, verses 1 through 5, it says, but understand this, that in the last days, are we living in the last days? I know we've heard that. Those of us who have been in church our whole lives, we've heard that our whole lives. But here, this just stands to reason. We must be closer to it than what we were when we were young. Right? We are living in the last days. Understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents. Interesting that that's part of the scope or the landscape of the last days. This is going to be an indicator, a sign of demarcation. Ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power, avoid such people. My friends, we cannot allow ourselves and our parenting to be negatively influenced by the world around us. Amen. Amy and I were recently on vacation and we went minigolfing with our sons. And I'm not going to tell, I'm not going to say who won, but hopefully you can tell by my humility who won. Anyway, moving on. I'm feeling the conviction right now, I should not have said that. Anyway, there was another family that was golfing behind us, and the they decided to play by different rules than what they normally played by. This was obvious to us by observation. One of the children had a very high sense of justice, to the point where, because the rules had been changed, they literally refused to go on. And this was not just displayed like in a mime type type of scenario. We were like seven, eight holes ahead of them, and we could hear the discussion going on in that on the green that they were on. Here's the part that was sad to me, saddest to me, maybe. And again, I don't sit in judgment. I don't know them. I have no idea what their scenario is. Could have just been a bad day. But what ended up happening is the father remained silent, it appeared. The mother attempted to bring some form of correction or at least settledness to the child. Eventually, the mom got so frustrated that she ended up storming off. And then the father went on playing with the other children and just allowing the child that had created this chaos to sort of pout and drag their putter along, even though they weren't playing, right? Eventually the mom came back and re-entered herself into the scene. Nothing was said, nothing was done. Things just moved on like nothing had ever happened. My friends, that is the way that the world lives. That is the way that the world parents. That is the way that families are dysfunctional. Again, we can all have moments in time like that, but that shouldn't be the general way that we live our lives as believers, right? We can live differently. What I'm encouraging you with is we can live differently than the rest of the world. And through doing that, we can be an example to them. So Amy and I have attempted to raise our family in such a way that they live differently than the world. We really have. And I just look at them this morning and I'm so proud of each and every one of them. When our kids were young, we chose to be fairly strict with them. In fact, to hear them now, we were really strict about such things, and especially the older ones concerning the younger ones. They have a feeling that we were disparagingly strict with them in comparison to the way that we are with the younger set, right? And maybe that's true, right? How many of you know as parents, we learn as we go? And so some things that we held tightly to before, we don't necessarily hold as tightly to. But when our kids were young, we chose to be strict about some things, especially the types of things they would listen to and watch, right? Um, and did you realize this? I don't know if you've ever sat down and watched children's shows, children's shows or movies. Most of them encourage what? Disobedience and rebellion. Most of them make the parents out to be idiots, bumbling idiots that are supposed to be like completely avoided. And every secret that we can keep from them, anything that we can do to trip them up or to mess with them is really amazing. That's like that that gets a big laugh, right? That gets a big laugh. So we need to be careful about what we allow our children to watch. Now, if you allow them to watch that, watch it with them and pause the TV and say, hey kids, tell me what was wrong there. What was wrong about what they just said or about what they just did? Call it a teachable moment and learn as a family together. We we had lots of teachable moments, right? Lots of times when Amy would say, and they still know this to this day, close your eyes. When you have young boys in the house, especially, the close your eyes mode is a good mode because even commercials can be inappropriate for anybody, but for young men's eyes. And hey, when she yells, close your eyes, mine are mine are closed too, I promise you. Right? So let's be careful. Let's make sure that we're teaching our children not to be disobedient like the world teaches them. Um we also want to be careful not to encourage them to judge others that live. Live differently, right? It's not our job. God is the judge. It's up to him. He deals with hearts and minds. Our job is to make sure that we're living according to the righteous standard that God has called us to live. Okay? All right. So first of

Honor Is An Attitude Of Heart

Tyler Lynde 22:15

all, children are required to obey their parents. The second command to children is that they are required to honor their parents. There is a difference. It says, honor your father and mother. This is the first commandment with the promise, that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land. Obedience is pretty straightforward, right? Do it. Take out the trash, do the dishes, clean your room, pick up your laundry. I could go on and on, right? So obedience is pretty straightforward. It's a list, it's a commandment. Honor is a little different. What is honor? Honor has more to do with the attitude of the heart. It has to do with an attitude. Did you know that Jesus, the thing that was so radical about him when he came, and if you read through the Sermon on the Mount, you see this clearly. So many of those who were religious were counting on their outward expression of their religion to make them holy. And Jesus shows up and says, Ah, actually, it's the heart that matters. It's the attitude of the heart that matters. He spent a lot of time doing that. My dad, one of the things that he did, can I just be honest with you, that was very annoying? He would tell my brother and I to change our attitude. So if he was correcting us and he could sense that we were bucking up or bowing up, he would say, change your attitude. And then he'd put a clock on it. So it started out maybe like five minutes. You have five minutes to change your attitude, right? And how many of you know when you're feeling that lump in your throat and you're all tense and you're wanting to hate everything that he's saying, even though inside somewhere you know that he's right. Eventually got to three minutes, two minutes, one minute, 30 seconds. And here's the famous line: he wouldn't just say, change your attitude, what else would he say? Or I'll change it for you. Change your attitude, or I'll change it for you. Trust me, I learned, my brother learned the hard way, unfortunately. I learned the easy way. Avoidance is amazing. If I could change my attitude within that time period and breathe and let go of the anger or whatever it was that I was feeling, things were going to be really good for me, right? So, anyway, honor has more to do with the heart. It's more to do with the attitude. It has more to do with the reason why we do something. So to honor someone is to value them and respect them, to value them with respect and to respect them. It is scriptural to honor your parents. We see it here, and the passage refers to the Ten Commandments. And one of the Ten Commandments is what? Honor your father and mother, right? So Jesus is is, or Paul is borrowing from that uh information from the Old Testament, bringing it forward. Jesus himself is our example in all things. Do you believe that? Listen to what it says of him in his early life with his parents. And he went down with them and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them. And his mother treasured up all these things in her heart, and Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man. If there's anybody on the face of the planet that could ever have told his parents what to do, it was Jesus. And yet, what did Jesus do? He submitted himself to his heavenly father first, but also to his earthly parents. And he grew in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and with man. So honoring your parents' kids and young people isn't putting them in the place of Jesus. None of your parents want to be Jesus. We want to be like Jesus, but we want you to look to him. He is your savior, he is the source of life. Parents are flawed and make mistakes. I know that's shocking to you, but I'm just being real with you. We as parents don't set out to do that, but we are flawed and we make mistakes. Some of them big mistakes. Honoring them looks like choosing to love and respect them in spite of their shortcomings, in spite of what they have done. And how many of you know that this isn't just a phenomenon with children? Many of us are of the age now where our children, our parents are aging. And we get an opportunity to continue to obey this scripture, to honor our father and mother by helping to care for them to the best of our ability in their last days. How many of you know it is the first responsibility within the Church of Jesus Christ for families to care for their people? The church is supposed to come along and come along and come us, what's the right word, beside, come beside them and help families as they take care of their people. Right? That's the biblical way, that's the biblical model. Encourage you to have that kind of attitude, even if and when parents have not been perfect, because it's the truth, they're not. So there are blessings attached to honoring your parents. It says that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land. God is so wise, he always sets his children up for success. Isn't that true? Every time he gives a commandment or instructs us in something, it's for our benefit. It's not for our harm, right? He wants to bless us, and one of the ways he chooses to do that is in response to us honoring our parents. Think about what would happen to a child who received no instruction, no parenting, no correction from their parents. What kind of citizens would they be? What kind of social aptitude would they have? How would they feel in their own lives? Would they be happy or would they be miserable?

unknown 28:17

Miserable.

Tyler Lynde 28:18

Absolutely miserable. On the other hand, when parents do their jobs well and children respond properly to their care, God commands a blessing of a good long life. Now, we read that, we hear, we think of all of the exceptions to that, but I want you to know that whenever something is put forth in Scripture, God is sovereign and he gets to decide what that looks like, the length of time, right? A good long life can mean a lot of different things for different people. Obviously, our best life as followers of Christ is yet to be lived in eternity with God. My brother Brian, even though he lived a short life, has for the last 50-something years been experiencing the glory of God on a daily basis in heaven. And I'm so grateful that he gets to experience that. And I'm envious, not in an unhealthy way, but I look forward to the day when I'll be able to be reunited with him. And we'll get to sit and talk and get to know each other again, right? So just as children should obey and honor their parents, there are requirements placed on parents as well.

Parents: Don’t Provoke Or Discourage

Tyler Lynde 29:30

Children, are you ready for us to switch roles and start commanding the parents about something? All right, let's do that. So it's not a one-sided relationship, right? The first thing is something we're not supposed to do, and the second thing is something we are supposed to do. So the first one is parents should not cause their children to be resentful. Parents should not cause their children to be resentful. It says, fathers do not provoke your children to anger. Fathers do not provoke your children to anger. This verse is primarily addressing fathers as the head of households, but it applies to the entire family. But I just want to say, moms, you get a free pass today. There's nothing wrong. We can't say anything negative concerning you and don't want to, right? But we should never forget, as parents, that our children are a gift from God and we are called to represent Him well as our heavenly Father to our children. We represent Him. We don't just represent ourselves and our own desires and our own demands. We are to act like Him and not like our flesh. So, what does that mean to not cause your children to be angry? Well, first of all, we shouldn't give our kids a moving target. How many of you like that as adults? When your boss says, hey, if you do a good job on this deal, if you close the deal, you're going to get a promotion and a raise. And you do a good job on that deal and it comes through and you go to your boss and say, Hey, we got it done. It's such a great, great thing. Everybody's happy. And the boss goes, you know what? I'm so sorry, but so-and-so complained, and so I gave them the promotion. I really apologize. Right? How would you feel about that? Yeah, maybe this happened to you in your life. I'm sorry if it has. But to be honest, we don't like to be treated like that. We don't like it as adults. How much should our children not like it? Let's be careful to be absolutely clear with our expectations to our kids and stick to those expectations. Let's be clear, let's be concise, let's be honest, let's be real, let's not continue to move the target. Let's show them a target. Let's let them aim for it, and then let's celebrate the small victories along the way. Hey, buddy, instead of being six foot over or six foot to the right or six foot to the left, you hit the target. This is awesome. Good job. You're not in the rings yet, but you hit the target. Good job. Awesome, right? We should never, and the re what how important this is, is we should be careful to never give a command to our children unless we intend for it to be obeyed. Never give a command that you don't intend for it to be obeyed. So it's not just setting up a target that uh that moves, right? It's being inconsistent. How many of you have learned that parenting, if it is anything, it requires in it requires consistency. We must be consistent with our children, right? Um, this the next thing is that we shouldn't make unreasonable demands of our kids. It's one thing to have high expectations for our children, and I think that's a good thing, right? Um, but it's another thing to put undue pressure on them that is that they're not able to measure up to. And I've seen this most clearly in sports families. And what I mean by sports families is the mom or dad wants to relive their glory days, the good old days when they were an athlete and and they excelled in a particular sport, and so they want their kids to excel in a particular sport. Have you ever been to these things where these games where they're not even keeping the score, but some parent is yelling, hey Junior. They're not like they're they very rarely do that to say, good job. Hey Junior, are you stupid? You know? Turn around, whatever it is. So we need to be careful about putting unreasonable demands on our children. That's that also includes being age-wise. Sometimes we expect our children to act like adults before they're even ready to do that. So let's be careful about putting too much on them than what the Lord Himself would actually put on them. And then finally, in this section, we shouldn't treat our children harshly. We shouldn't children treating children harshly. You know what? If there's anything in this life that I have a difficulty with, especially when it has happened through me, it sickens me to think about how much abuse goes on within families, even of those who call themselves Christians. You know, there are times there are times when you cannot distinctively tell the difference between Christian parents and parents that are in this world that who don't know Jesus. We should never abuse our children verbally, emotionally, or physically. I'm gonna add sexually. We should never abuse our children in any way. This is what really bothers me more than anything, baby. Some people treat their pets better than they do their children. Stop it. If that is you, repent. Repent and turn towards the Lord. One of the things, again, talking about my dad that I really appreciated is that he very rarely disciplined us in anger. I can only remember a couple of times when he was angry. The majority of the time he would send us to our room and he would go to his room. And honestly, for me, that was some of the worst punishment of all. That waiting period, right? The anticipation. And I would hear him walk across the house and he would use a belt to spank us, and I would hear that belt hitting something. And I didn't realize until much later when I talked to him that he would hit himself with the belt to remind himself what it felt like. So that when he came in to spank us, that he wouldn't go overboard, that he wouldn't be abusive to us. One of the times I thought that I would just be amazingly cunning. And so back in the day, you guys know what vinyl records are? They're coming back. Actually, we just had Ben's graduation party. Congratulations, Ben. And at his party, they were playing a record player, an actual record player with a needle and all of that. But I decided that, you know, my brother and I put on sweatpants and we stuck albums in a particular location. My dad came in the room, and as he traditionally said, he said, Bend over. We bent over, and within just a few seconds he left the room. And then he came back, and we found out later he left the room because he started laughing. He went and my, I guess my mom and him had a big laugh, you know, it was hilarious. We didn't think it was that funny. But he he came back in, and of course, we removed the vinyl and we received our spanking. But I still believe that that was the least, there was the least sting in that spanking of anyone I have ever received. Oh, kids are people are getting ideas all over the place, right? Uh Colossians 3.21 says, Fathers, do not provoke your children lest they become discouraged. This world is filled with depression, anxiety, and fear, and worry. Parents and especially dads, let's not add to that. Let's not cause our kids by the way that we're treating them to feel how Satan wants them to feel. Let's make sure that we're embracing what God wants for our kids. And the lastly, the last command, this is a positive one. Parents should raise

Discipline Without Harshness Or Abuse

Tyler Lynde 38:05

their children to follow Jesus. It says, Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. This is our primary role as parents. This is our number one purpose. More than anything else we can do is to train and teach our kids to love God and to love his ways. If we have done that, we have accomplished our purpose. Right? So we should teach our kids. What does teaching mean? Teaching our kids is telling them what is right and wrong, it's speaking, it's instruction, it's it's done in a nurturing way that gives them a chance to properly respond. We should teach them early and often about who God is and what He alone, He alone is the source of truth. They need to understand that we are all sinners in need of God's grace, and God's grace is what saves us and transforms us and what keeps us. We should teach our children to love the Bible, to love the church. Yes, I said it, to love the church and so many other things. These this is our privilege and our honor and our responsibility is to teach our children to love Jesus. You see, the reality is our children need to be born again, not just to act right. There are a lot of religions in this world that do not follow Jesus, and they are strict to the core, and their children obey to the letter of the law, and yet their hearts are far from God. Our children need to be born again, not just to act right. So we should teach our children, and lastly, we should train our children. How does training look different than teaching? Teaching is do this, don't do this. Training is what? Act like me. Do what I do. Act like I act, respond like I respond. It's showing them what is right and wrong.

Raise Kids To Follow Jesus

Tyler Lynde 40:21

Do as I say and not as I do is not the thing. Here's what we should say to our kids: do as Jesus does, as I'm attempting to do by his grace, so that you in turn will follow him as well. Not do as I say, not as I do. Training is often done best when there's an apology attached to our mistakes. Aren't you thankful for the mercy of God? Some of us, even as adult parents, and I just want to say clearly to my kids, even this morning, no where Jordan, there's Jordan. I love each and every one of you, and I apologize even now for anything that I've ever said or done that has been harmful to you or that has made you feel disconnected from God or that uh has been disrespectful to you. I love you very much. I just encourage you, even as adult parents, a well-placed apology that is heartfelt is very important. We are not Jesus. We are not perfect, but we need to acknowledge that to them so they don't place how we are as a filter that they use on God. There's a difference between us and God. And here's the truth: God loves our kids even more than we do. He's cheering us on in our endeavors to raise godly children. He is loving it. He loves it when we follow his commands. He has promised that when he starts a good work in our lives, that he will complete it. It's his job to complete it. For those who are prodigals, guess what? They are in the hands of a living God. He has promised that when he starts a good work, like I said, he will complete it. Days are long and years are short. Keep a positive mindset. We must always be thinking ahead and not get discouraged over one-day struggles or a rough season. This is not a defeat. In fact, God is working in us to sanctify us through our kids. Have you realized that? Sometimes God does his best teaching through our children. We must keep our eye on the bigger picture, our family, and the individuals that make up a small part of God's big story, and he works all things together for good for those who love God and are called according to his purpose. Counted all joy. Never give up on your children. God never gives up on us, and he will give us the power to never give up on our children. Always remember that love will carry us through the difficult times. Realize that there will be a time that your children will rise up and call you blessed. They will thank you for your love and for your consistency. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but when they have their own blessed little children who need Jesus, they will come to you and say, Hey mom, hey dad, I thank you so much for the way that you parented us. Right? Are you encouraged this morning? This is the word of God, and this is the word of God that God gives us his grace to walk in. Amen. Let's

Hope For Prodigals And Closing Prayer

Tyler Lynde 43:40

just pray together for the parents in this room as well as those who are watching online and the multi generations that are involved in helping to shepherd the children that are under our care. Father, we thank you and praise you for this day. We thank you for the words that have been spoken, uh the songs that have been sung. The ways that you have interacted with us this morning. And Lord, we thank you that as we celebrate Mother's Day today, we ask, Lord, that you would help us to take even more seriously the job that we have as parents, not just to teach our kids to do the right thing or to kind of mold their wills, but Father, that we would understand that the greatest privilege we have in this life is living out in front of them what it looks like to be a follower of Jesus, so that in so doing, that they will see our good works and glorify our Father, which is in heaven. Father, help our kids to live as they are, as your kids. Bless them, bless the parents. We ask for the gift of obedience and respect and honor within the children that are a part of this church and beyond. And we ask for us as parents that you would forgive us for the times. When we have lost our control, when we have been angry and been harsh with our children, forgive us, Father. Cleanse us. Help us to change if that's our situation. Even now, Lord, give us grace to change. And Father, most importantly, help us to be those who follow you in such a way that we teach our children to follow you as well. We give you glory in Jesus' name. Amen. Amen.