[00:00:00] Elton Brown: Welcome to SpeakUP! International with Rita Burke and Elton Brown!
[00:00:09] Rita Burke: On SpeakUP! International, we seek to inform, to educate, and to inspire. And our guest today, her story will certainly help us to meet those objectives. We have with us Stacy-Ann Buchanan, who is the power behind the self-directed and self-funded award-winning documentary called The Blind Stigma. The Blind Stigma made history because It is the first documentary produced in Canada that takes an in-depth look at how mental health is perceived in our Black community.
Now, Stacy-Ann Buchanan has also been fortunate to be on the stage of TEDx, and her body of work has firmly planted her career on disrupting systemic anti-Black racism. To our guests, I want to introduce a very dear friend, Stacy-Ann Buchanan!
[00:01:16] Stacy-Ann Buchanan: Thank you for having me! 
[00:01:18] Elton Brown: It is our pleasure to have you with us this morning, Stacy. Can you tell me more about your background and what led you to being recognized as one of the 150 black women to watch in Canada? 
[00:01:34] Stacy-Ann Buchanan: Oh, that is such a great question. You know what? A bit about my background. So, I like to start ancestrally.
I guess so; I'm originally from Jamaica. I am the... granddaughter of Mr. Gershon Buchanan and Ms. Myrtle Buchanan. I am the great-granddaughter of, um, Tetel. And I like to say my great grandmother's name because I realized, um, only up until a few years ago that she was actually of Maroon descendant. And I was like, oh my goodness, I love
the Maroons! You're telling me? Yes! No, no wonder! I'm in this position. No wonder I have this fighter in me. No wonder I have this, um, this, this spirit inside me to, um, not just excel, but to, to give, to care, to stand up for what is right. Um, what led to all of these, Honorable accolades is me just standing firm in my truth, me just being as authentic as I can be and me doing what I'm called here to do or on the path of what I'm called here to do and just sticking to a mission and walking in a purposeful life.
So, um, a bit about my journey. I've, I realized a few years ago, around 12 years ago, that I was struggling with anxiety and depression and suicidal ideation. And, um, that spot alone and having all of those three accumulated in 1 point was very hard, was very hard and was very tough, but thankfully. I got through it and I, and I realized that I cannot be the only black person that is struggling with their mental health because when we talk about mental health in the black community, it's usually perceived as something that is really dismissive or swept on the rug or ignored as a big pink polka dot elephant that is sitting right there in the room and it's often ignored.
And, and so I, okay. I wanted to make a documentary. First, I wanted to write a book, but I said, no, I'm more creative. And I think if people see people talking, see and feel, it will really, um, emote the message that I wanted to bring, uh, bring across that, you know, mental illness is a silent killer in our community.
And there's so many of us are struggling with it. And so we need to create, um, conversations because conversations, um, dialogue creates, um, people that are willing for a change and people that are willing for a change are gonna create resources. So it trickles down and so I made this documentary and I, and I named it the, the Blind Stigma.
I named it after my dad, my mom, your aunt, your cousin, your sister, everybody That purposely turns a blind eye to how mental health is viewed in the black community. When I made a documentary, I made it, like I said, with the purpose and the meaning and the intention to, to have a conversation, to let folks know that you're not alone and that this is something that is prevalent in a black community.
I had no idea how God was going to take that documentary and how much it was going to impact lives and change lives and, um, made Canadian history and, um, led to me being a part of a, um, doing a TED talk and, and led to all of these accolades, like being one of the 150 leading Canadians for mental health within the whole country.
And so. Um, those accolades and, and especially being one of the 150 black women to watch is seriously about a little girl just listening to, um, that calling from God, that is walking in a purposeful life and that is doing things from the truest intentions and that understands that her time here may be limited, but her time here is, um, It's to serve others, to help others, to engage, to love and to grow purposefully.
So, um, I hope that answers your question, Mr. Elton.
[00:05:53] Elton Brown: Yes, you answered my question , Rita.
[00:05:55] Rita Burke: Opens up a can of wonderful things, I'm not gonna say worms, for SpeakUP! International. Why do you think then, Stacy, that we have swept mental health under the rug? We tend to sweep it under the rug. Talk to us about that, please. 
[00:06:16] Stacy-Ann Buchanan: Oh my gosh. Rita, I think this can go back to, this is, this is a form of transgenerational trauma that we're still living in and that we're, we're still suppressing.
So, to give the audience a bit of a background, um, our enslaved ancestors, Um, whenever one of us decided we're going to quote unquote rebel, or we decided that slavery was not for us, we were deemed as having something called drapetomania. So drapetomania was the first word that was, was given to our enslaved ancestors that decided that they wanted to rebel.
Colonizers figure that you must be crazy and I don't like using the word crazy as a mental health advocate. I have to be very mindful of my language, um, because there's certain words, our language really depicts a lot of fear in our community. So, but to go back and just to be realistic, you must be crazy to not want the life of being enslaved.
And so drape to mania was put on us and then, um, those that you know, the punishment that was followed even just to give a little backstory. I'm sorry. I'm chopping up Bellevue hospital in Jamaica. Was created for our enslaved ancestors to house those that were rebellious that they thought was mentally ill.
That was, that was the, that's the foundation of that place. And growing up in Jamaica, we used to make so many jokes about Bellevue. Oh, you're mad, you must be going to Bellevue. Not knowing how much, and I just found this out about three years ago, not knowing how much the history of that place carries so much trauma and so much pain and when I Read the story, I, I wept like I wept, but to go back, it's, it's, um, why there's that stigma and that fear in our community is because from back in the enslaved days, if you, if you were considered having draped to mania or crazy, you were, you were punished and the punishment was sometimes seen in front of other people, other, other, other of our enslaved ancestors will watch you being punished.
So then that created a fear in us to say, Hey, I don't want, I don't want to, so if you're crazy, we can't tell anybody. So it trickles down into general, you don't tell anybody, you keep your mouth shut, you keep it, you keep your business and then instill that fear and so till this day, we're still doing that and we still think we all have somebody in our family or somebody that you think, Oh, that auntie, you know, she's always running around and she's jumping up.
You know, we don't give it a name. She has anxiety. She's not crazy. She's not afraid of anything. She just has anxiety. And I think From, from, from giving us a name from us for a natural instinct to say human instinct to say, you do not want this. And, and then to label it as something dirty or something ridiculous, it trickles down back from generation to generation.
And that is, that is where the fear stems from. And I like to tell that story because I think it's very important for you to know how to overcome and where you're going. You have to know where you're coming from in order to know how to move progressively and to make that change. So, um, and, and that fear still lingers on and that fears then create, um, the stigma of shame.
Because if you say you, you don't have your life together, you don't have it together, you're breaking up. Oh my God, then everybody's talking about you and the gossip comes and we're so scared of that. And I'm not scared of no gossip. I, I think, I, I don't want to go more. But, um, I think it's important for us to, um, get rid of, and it's so hard to say, and it's easier said than done.
But to understand the story and to understand why these things are happening, it's important for us to know that it is okay. And is it okay to talk about what you're going through and no, you're not crazy. And no, you're not alone. But 
[00:10:11] Rita Burke: Before Elton, before Elton asked his question, I will say that it's really serendipitous that you talked about, you're talking about Bellevue because our last guest worked at Bellevue way, way, way back.
Also, it's fascinating. Also. I have a friend whose research, she is a PhD, revolves around intergenerational trauma, and that's what you talked about here today, so I really appreciate that. Over to you, Elton. 
[00:10:48] Elton Brown: Thank you, Rita. Can you explain How your work raises awareness, fosters positive dialogue, and provides resources and support of mental health within the Black community.
I think that is one of the problems, is that people don't know where to go. Especially in the black community in order to find mental health solutions. I remember as a kid, we had an aunt. And no one talked about it, but she would come down and she would play piano beautifully. And then she would kind of drift off, and then they would take her back upstairs, but no one ever talked about it.
I think as a people, we need to get away from this whole section where we don't talk about things. That's just like if in a marriage, if you don't talk, the marriage crumbles. And this is what happens when individuals who are not well have no one that they can talk to, let alone family members.
So how do we get our communities, our families to sit down and actually talk about the mental health situation? 
[00:12:23] Stacy-Ann Buchanan: That is such a great question. And one of those questions that is, um, That I feel like it's often asked whenever I go to, um, mental health conferences, or I'm part of, um, forums, but the thing is, it's, I think it's It is, it is, it is a great question.
It's also such a delicate question because, um, it starts within you. I'm going to answer it. It starts within you. We, mental health is not, there's a difference between mental health and mental illness, right? Mental health is just like your physical health. It's, it's your health. And I think if we have open dialogues about how's your mental health going.
Just like what we're talking about. How, how are you today? We could talk about our physical health. Oh, you know, I spray my hands. Oh, I'm, I'm struggling with, uh, maybe my heart is being a little bit faster. I'm going to the doctor. We can have the same conversation. We can have conversations about Jesus and we can have conversations about our mental health.
We can have conversations about the wonderful chicken foot soup and we can talk about our mental health. And I think what we need to do, we need to, we need to. Import our mental health into our conversations. We need to put it in there like it is something normal. We need to normalize. Speaking about our mental health, and I think once we can normalize it, and it is okay, and we remove shame and secrecy, because shame and secrecy, they're very best friends, right?
And, and it, it, it, it, the shame will breed about the secrecy, and you think, we think that we're the only one. That's the thing, because of the intergenerational, transgenerational trauma, we seem to think that sometimes we're the only one that's going through it and we don't want to talk about it because I don't want you to shame me and don't want the stigma around it.
But you're harboring and breeding the stigma by not talking about it. But I also understand, within the Black community, the importance of feeling safe. I do understand that wholeheartedly. I do understand that sometimes you may share something and it trickles down and say, People tell everybody and then it comes back and it's very harmful to you.
So all I often talk about normalizing the conversation around mental health, yes, but also finding safe spaces first. If you're going through something, or a topic that you usually talk about, or you haven't, you want to talk about it, but you don't have a space, find safe spaces and safe spaces is not, say, a tangible space or like a physical space.
It's, it's, it's, it's within you. And so if you can find somebody that, you know, a friend, a partner, a loved one, a mentor, someone that you can start opening a dialogue with just to open it, just to start it. It is it is so releasing. 
So to answer your question, and I hope I'm answering your question, Mr. Elton, is to just create that, um, that that sense of normalizing mental health conversations in our everyday conversations and then having safe spaces to, to, to talk about it.
[00:15:14] Rita Burke: Quite an amazing way at looking at a relatively delicate topic that we don't like talking about. I used to tell students, because I taught mental health nursing, that, um, there is a very thin line. It's not like the people with issues are on this side and the people with no issues are on this side.
There's a blurring, and sometimes the people who think that they are quote unquote normal and don't have any problems, they run into problems, and the people who have... We've been labeled with mental health problems, they have normal lives as well. They still have to eat, they still have to go to the washroom, they still have to do normal things and dress themselves.
So it's a very, very thin line, so I hear what you say loud and clear. You also talked about the shaming in Bellevue and how it came down historically. Do you know that that same method was used in Europe, in England? Historically, to shame. So, on Sunday evenings, they would bring people who were locked up in asylums out and parade them on the streets, and people would pay to see them.
People would pay to see them. So, you see where that is coming from. It was inherited from there to Belgium. 
[00:16:39] Stacy-Ann Buchanan: You see where that is coming from. Yes, yes. Thank you for that point of history. I didn't know that, Rita. Thank you so much. Wow. 
[00:16:47] Rita Burke: So I want to segue a little bit to your TED experience. Yes. Talk to us about that 
[00:16:55] Stacy-Ann Buchanan: please.
Oh, that was Such a wonderful experience. It, it, that experience was, was a manifestation from like, from my vision board. Cause I remember that year, 2017, I put on my vision board. I want to be a TED talk speaker. I want to be a TEDx speaker. And, um, just to see it come to fruition is, is, is still so beautiful.
Um, I got the, I got the nomination, um, from my brother. Um, to, to, to speak at TEDx. It was TEDx Milton and I got accepted. I had conversations about what I'm going to talk about and that experience. So I was really nervous, you know, I've done lots of talks prior to that. And I was nervous as to how I'm going to deliver my tech talk.
So I started watching a whole bunch of different tech talks to get a feel of how to really deliver, um, um, a talk that was really powerful and impactful. And then I realized. I cannot do it this way. I don't, I don't, I don't like what I'm seeing. I mean, what I'm seeing is very impactful, but I'm like, that is not me.
So what I did was I started researching one of my favorite human beings in history and such a storyteller. The epitome. I find of a storyteller that was on TV and that is the Honorable Miss Louise Bennett. I started watching her videos and I started watching how she conveyed her talks and she is such a storyteller.
And I said, I am not going to talk to people when I do this tech talk, I'm going to tell them a story because when you tell a story to someone, it's like the equivalent, like I'm not going to sell, I'm going to share when you tell a story, you're inviting the audience to be a part of your journey. You're taking them along the highs, the lows, the waves, the crushes, you're taking them along.
And so I wanted my TED talk to bring that feeling of like, you're there with me. I wanted the audience to feel my journey, to see it, to smell it, to hear it. All the five senses, um, to taste it just invoked into that. And so that's how I came across. delivering my TED talk. I, I, I thank Miss Lou and watching her videos and the epitome of the art of storytelling. So, yeah! 
[00:19:21] Elton Brown: The people who ran the TEDx, Did they help you prepare for your presentation? 
[00:19:27] Stacy-Ann Buchanan: In a way? They, they, they help appear in a sense. Like, they wanted to know a little bit of what you're going to talk about and they tell you about your time frame that you have the time that you have and like your time slot.
But, um, besides that, most of the preparation are on the speakers.
[00:19:42] Rita Burke: In your bio, you talk about disrupting anti Black racism. I would like to hear a little bit more about how that is done, please. 
[00:19:54] Stacy-Ann Buchanan: Yeah, so disrupting it is, is led through, um, my workshops. My workshop on, on mental health, which is, which all embodies mental health. So one of my favorite workshops to do is demystifying the strong Black woman myth.
And I like to talk about how the word strong is, how it dehumanizes black women and black people overall, how much it is a blatant assault on our mental health and, um, how much it strips us of our humanity and with that, with that workshop, I go into, um, the history of, I, I take, I take folks on this history of, um, And black women, especially because it's mostly catered to black women.
I take them on a history of, of knowing where the word strong comes from. I take them on a history of, of drape to mean. And like we talked about, I talked about intergenerational trauma. I talked about how things are intergenerational, generational drama, even trauma when it comes to even the food that we eat and the food that, um, that embodies us.
You know, having a big, healthy, hearty breakfast in the morning time, and why did we have to have this big, hearty, starchy breakfast is because what, what did we have to do all day that we had to have something to hold us? So I take them on a journey, and then I talk about, um, high function and anxiety. And high functioning depression, which are they're not diagnosed forms of depression and anxiety, but they're, um, they're not clinically diagnosed, I said, but they're diagnosed.
They're out there and, and, and given and given them little, um, clues as to, as to clues is not the right word, but taking them along the steps that could that, that, that kind of indicate that you may be struggling with. Um, one or both. And then I, I shared some video clips of how women, black women have been depicted, um, sometimes in media.
And then I end off with a rest, like a surprise. I want you to put your phones down and we are going to sleep. You are going to sleep because rest is a form of, um, Resistance. Rest is like shaking out the anti Black racism in a sense that, you know, like knowing where you're coming from and knowing a bit of your history and knowing that it is in your birthright to be restful, to have joy, to have luxury.
And, and, you know, and you, you need this and it's not a form of like, oh guilt. I need, I'm guilty for resting. So I end off with a rest and a hug I, I think when I say disrupting, I know disrupting, um, maybe a harsh word, like we're out there protesting and we have signs. No, disrupting can be very minimal and, and inter core, like it's coming from your core, you got to know it from your core, you got to feel it from the inside and that's so you can disrupt it by changing your perspective of how the world deems you or sees you to be and, and, and shaking things up and, and, and being soft. Yeah! 
[00:22:58] Elton Brown: Thank you for that. Can you tell us what workshops you provide are available and how can people enroll in your workshops? 
[00:23:08] Stacy-Ann Buchanan: You know what? I, there's such a great question. I should start putting on my own workshops. I do, but I usually get invited from an organization, um, a company, um, an event to come and do my workshops.
And I haven't really. Set aside, um, my time to say, you know what? I am going to host my very own workshop and folks can come. And I usually partner with different organizations. And so that's how people learn about my organization and about my org, my workshops. But hearing that question out loud, I'm like, why would you put on your own thing Stacy-Ann, maybe it's time for me to put on my own thing!
[00:23:47] Elton Brown: What organizations have you given your tailored workshops? 
[00:23:53] Stacy-Ann Buchanan: Oh my gosh. Oh my god. Now you're putting me on the spot. I have to go through my email. So, a lot of them are like women led, um, organization, BIPOC women organizations. Um, I've done them at schools too. Like, schools within, um, Toronto District School Board, um, Toronto Catholic, um, School Board, Durham, Mill, um, Durham, and what's the one in...
So Durham is the east, and what's the one in the west called again? Um, Brampton or Oakfield? Yeah, but there's a, there's a name that, it's Durham, there's Toronto, there's the Toronto, I've done it with all the schools, universities, I've done workshops at U of T, I've done workshops at Ryerson, at, um, York.
I've, I've, yeah, churches to churches. They love me and they call me in because yes, when we talk about mental illness, yes, I've done a lot of workshops at churches to most of my workshops started within the churches actually. So I'm very grateful for that and then I branched out. 
[00:25:00] Rita Burke: So Stacy-Ann Buchanan, we are having this wonderful, amazing, remarkable conversation with you about your life, about your work. So tell me, how do you maintain your well being? 
[00:25:20] Stacy-Ann Buchanan: Oh, such a great question and I love it. I, I like to, I meditate every morning. I have to. I give praises to God every morning. I set my phone at 11 o'clock every day to take a mini break and just to be grateful. Um, gratitude is a huge part of, um, my mental health.
Um, care, um, my self care gratitude is very important. I think sometimes we get so lost up in this world and in the, um, the world of social media and looking what other people have and just forgetting about your grass, so I'm very mindful of, of reminding myself. Setting a timer at 11 o'clock every day to just be, um, to, to be grateful and just say a prayer.
I love to go on solo drives. Um, it's really good for my mental health. Sing my songs and park my car and stay like 10, 15 minutes in the car. Car therapy is so good. I journal a lot. I, I have so many journals like they're all over the place. I like to write my thoughts down. I always think that writing my thoughts down is an act of faith and I'm a faith believer.
And so writing it down. I'm like, I'm taking the action. You know, I, I have plans. That I love to keep around the house and, um, I have plants that help to alleviate anxiety because I still struggle to stay with anxiety. So I know the steps to take to, um, to keep my mind at a place. at a pace where it's, it's calm because sometimes I'm, I'm always in my head with what if, what if, what if, what if, you know, and I try to, I, sometimes I tend to live in the future.
And so I'm very mindful of bringing myself back to the present moment. Um, what else do I do? I laugh a lot. I, I'll watch videos of like, Mean cats on YouTube like cats just being mean to dogs and stuff and it just makes me laugh Whatever just makes you laugh. It makes you happy I eat the foods that make me happy too and Love dancing around with my daughter I just do things that brings joy and and Because joy is is also that form of resistance and implemented in my life as well another form of my mental health care is if I come across like an account on social media or something that Isn't That triggers me or I feel isn't good for me.
I'm very big on blocking, deleting and muting because it is a form of self care. And I think a lot of people sometimes feel bad for doing that. You know, like I don't want to hurt this person's feelings or something. I said, no, you gotta, you gotta take care of you and you. Yeah. So those are little things that I do.
[00:28:11] Elton Brown: What do you love to eat and do you cook? 
[00:28:16] Stacy-Ann Buchanan: Oh, I'm an excellent cook. My dad taught me how to cook. My grandma taught me how to cook. My mom taught me how to cook. Um, I, I'm an excellent cook. I love cooking fish. It's one of my favorite things to do. Maybe because my dad's a Rastaman and he eats fish. Um, snapper is my speciality.
I tell people that like I, please don't think I'm weird, but like, I like gutting and cleaning fish and scaling it. There's, there's a, there's a sense of joy. There's a sense of calmness that comes over me. There's, there's, there's something there. Like, I can't really explain it. Like sometimes I go to the fish market, I buy my fish from the fish market, not from the supermarket on, on, and I'll shout them out.
There's Sea Kings down at, um, Kensington market. And you know, walking on a Saturday, it's packed, packed. A lot of Caribbean people in there. It's packed. And just the smell of fish. And the fish market brings me back to the market in Maypen, where I grew up when I used to go to the market with my grandmother and I miss my grandmother and it's a part, sorry, I don't want to cry, but it brings me back to that moment being eight years old, going to the market with my grandmother.
So I love going to places. I love going there because it just. Brings me back home and it's always great to be brought back home. So what I like to eat, um, things that bring me joy. I was telling, I was telling a colleague, I really like eating tamarind ball. 
[00:29:39] Rita Burke: You've got so much in common with the personal marriage.
It's not funny. The fish story. And now the tamarind balls. That is fascinating. That is fascinating. That is really interesting. 
[00:29:52] Elton Brown: I think we had a, uh, a person that we interviewed and she loved eating tamarind. I mean, she thought that was the best thing on the planet. She could not get enough of it. 
[00:30:05] Stacy-Ann Buchanan: Yes. Yes.
[00:30:08] Rita Burke: So, you talked at the beginning about your ancestors because you couldn't tell your story without going back there, which talks about Sankofa, as you know. So tell us then, who or what is responsible for who you are today? Who or what? 
[00:30:27] Stacy-Ann Buchanan: Hmm, who or what? Um, a lot of my life experiences are responsible for who I am today.
Um, I love my dad. Love my mom. Love my grandparents. My dad has a special place in my heart. Um, because when we came to Canada, I came here at 14 years old and a lot of my life has shifted and my perspective and everything. And so I give a lot of thanks to my dad because he brought me and my brother here.
And at the time I, my dad was like, my dad was 34 years old with a 14 year old and a seven year old, and he's raising them by himself. And he's just, he just did such an excellent job of holding down a full time job and being there for his kids. Like I was into theater and my brother was into sports and I don't know how my dad, he never missed the play, never missed anything.
In fact, I remember one time I was like, I want to do modeling. And my dad's like, okay, we're going to sign you up. We're going to bring you to Barbizon. Barbizon like used to rip people off. Maybe I shouldn't say that, but they did, but they, they had Barbizon classes and my dad brought me there. And the thing is like, I never.
I'm just going to be so vulnerable. Like growing up, I never really saw myself as like, Oh, I'm a beautiful girl. But like, I know I, I always, I never really thought about physical beauty. I always. I always thought about, I have a voice and I want the world to know my words. My words are going to be what drives me in this world.
And to see that I had, I had, I had buck up teeth, whatever it is. I'm like, I wasn't like you would have labeled pretty. And, um, and I'm not being hard on myself. I'm just, I'm just saying like a realistic view of a 15 year old at the time. And I said, I wanted to do modeling. And my dad's like, we're doing modeling.
So anything I told my dad that I wanted to do, my dad never said. Why don't you be a doctor? Why don't you be a teacher? He just said whatever I wanted to do. My dad jumped on the bandwagon and he supported, supported. And so I don't want to cry. And recently, you've known me around that time since I was 14, so it's like, and you've seen how my dad is like invested in us, so like, I'm really grateful for his teachings, and I'm really grateful because it's also as a young Black woman, as a young girl, to have a male figure in your life that's really important, you know, and somebody that was so supportive.
So, um, yeah, I would say my life experiences and a lot of the teachings from my dad, one of the most powerful things he told me in life, because when you have anxiety, you, I struggle with, um, people pleasing and he told me, and I'll share this with the audience. He said, there are two things in life that you can never control.
What people think about you and what people say about you, you can only control your reaction. And that's something that I, I kind of repeat to myself, not daily, but weekly just as a reminder, but Oh my God, I'm a whole mess. But 
[00:33:49] Rita Burke: You're, you're allowed to be, you're allowed to be on SpeakUP! International because we are sharing. amazing stories of people who are building our community. And that doesn't mean that they are perfect people. They are human beings. And I certainly appreciate you're allowing yourself to be vulnerable with us. I really appreciate it. I think it's enriching this interview today. Thank you! You have talked about being intentional in almost everything you've done in your life, and maybe that was inherited from your dad, who parented by intention.
There's no question about that. He parented by intention. And so look at the result. Look at who you have become and I really thank you for being that vulnerable and sharing your story. 
Thank you!
[00:34:45] Elton Brown: You know, I read this book one time, uh, because I do suffer, uh, an amount of anxiety and people pleasing and the whole nine yards, you name it, there's a, you know, there's a slice of it here.
 What book really helped me What You Think Of Me Is None Of My Business
and I found that book to be extremely powerful. Yes, it took time for me to really adapt to that way of thinking, but I found that every time I feel myself slipping back into, I'm going to call it darkness, Me thinking about that book and sometimes revisiting that book really helps keep me stable because it's true.
What do I care about what people think of me? It's none of my business. It's true. I'm searching to find out what people think of me. It's true. I'm just, I'm just wasting. Uh, a lot of time. 
[00:35:47] Stacy-Ann Buchanan: Yes. 
[00:35:49] Elton Brown: How has God helped you reach your goals? 
[00:35:55] Stacy-Ann Buchanan: You know what? It's such a great question. Like, God has a tendency to do this to me.
He'll give me a vision. And let me tell you something, when God gives you a vision, trust me, He will provide the people and the tools to execute it. If He gives you the vision, He's gonna give you If He gives you the business plan, He's gonna give you the customers. Okay? And I have to learn that sometimes Yes.
Imposter syndrome will creep up, you know, thinking that, who are you? You can't do this. You're not good. You did your little documentary. Just stay put. That's all you need to give to this world. You're good to go. And God is going to keep calling me on that phone. And then like, if I'm not picking up the phone, he's going to make me uncomfortable.
And if me thinking that I'm going to make myself comfortable is going to make my surroundings uncomfortable. Like if I'm eating, uh, Eskimo fish. It's going to taste like a banana, a ripe banana. And I don't like ripe bananas. It's he's going to make you uncomfortable until you pick up that call from me.
And so how God has helped me achieve my goals is, is, is, is shaking me up and, and making me realize that, you know, I'm here for divine purpose. We all are. And when he gives me a vision, it's. It's not just for me. And I love that about the work that I do. It's never just for me, it's, it's, it's a healing part for me, but it's not for me.
It's for my community. It's for the world. So I love, I love that relationship that I have with God. Like sometimes I won't pick up the call, but like, okay, if I don't pick up the call, everything is going to be uncomfortable until I do it. I'm like, okay. 
[00:37:39] Rita Burke: Spirituality gives you strength. Doesn't it? There's no question about it. A sense of spirituality and connecting to a higher being gives you the strength, the strength that you need. Yes. CM Buchanan, tell us about your book. 
[00:37:57] Stacy-Ann Buchanan: Yes, so I wrote this book, I got this call to write this book from 2020. And I started! I started, I'm gonna do this, and then I stopped. I'm like, I can't do this, like, uh, nobody's gonna want to hear what I have to say from a book, and I, um, I eventually, I kept the call, kept calling and I kept being very uncomfortable and I went through a period last year was really sick because it was really ill.
I had a cough from February until November, wouldn't go away every hour on the hour I was coughing and that cough will follow by me throwing up, me hacking, me trying to breathe. It was. Really, really horrible. I gotta know how it's to stay in it. So I visited the ER so many times and they couldn't find what was happening to me, what was wrong with me.
And it was just, I don't know how to explain it. I went through a period where I also, um, struggled with last year with, um, What's that word? It's uh, it's not coming to me. It's um, it's like when your head is spinning. I forgot the word. My head was 
[00:39:12] Rita Burke: vertigo? 
[00:39:12] Stacy-Ann Buchanan: Vertigo yes! Hey, my head was spinning and I'll have faint spell and nosebleeds and, um, I, I lost so many jobs because I couldn't articulate my words.
I would forget things. Um, and, um, I struggled a lot. I started doing, and what helped me with my vertigo, and if anyone is struggling with vertigo, what helped me was an Epley maneuver. And so going to a specialist that had you lie down and kind of twist your head because vertical could happen with the beads in your ears getting dislocated.
And so it's just to straighten it back up and make it be in alignment. And so I went through a period last year was, it was very struggling for me and I, and I didn't think I would be here today. Um, and so I said, you know what, I'm gonna, I'm gonna pick up that call and I'm going to write this book and I'm going to write a book.
Something tangible for my daughter. I have a four year old daughter and, and something also for women, because I think the book is called good for you. And it's 114 mindful practices. Women can adopt for a more harmonious life. And for the majority of my life, I've lived it. Trying to feel, trying to be balanced, you know, I think it's important to have a balanced life, you know, and, and aiming for a balanced life is unsustainable.
Um, because it, it, it allows you, it's saying to you, um, the amount that you give over here on this scale, you got to give over here. So if you give 50 percent as a pair, you're going to 50 percent partnership, 50 percent all over the place. And so it's like, how much of yourself can you give and what does your cup look like every morning?
It's not going to be a hundred percent every day. And so I, um, I, I answered the call to write this book, but another thing that I did last year, too, I was reading a book and I really want to shout this author out. It was called, um. Her name is missing. So the book is called rest is resistance. Um, and I actually have it here. 
It's by Trisha. It's by Trisha Hersey. So sorry about that. And she, she, I read her book, but then I also followed her on social media. She wrote a quote that really struck me. She says, black women stop giving away your content for free. You write all these long. Captions, you can turn it into a book and I was like, Oh, you're talking to me.
You didn't have to hit me that hard. And so I write a lot of long captions on social media because I like sharing a story. I'm a storyteller with my captions. And so I said, you know what, I'm going to revisit who I am, who I was from 2016. That's when my mental health journey started. And I started taking those quotes and the quotes.
From up until 2022, 2023, because I finished a book here and I just like the journey of who Stacy and Buchanan is and I'm going to put it into this book and I'm going to make it into mindful practices and to help women adopt a more harmonious life because a harmonious life lets you live in the presence, a balanced life, you're too focused on the task at.
At hand and completing that task that you forget that you live harmoniously like her ancestors live, right? Just harmoniously and and a lot of my work too with i'm working at the company that I work for We are really big on indigenizing our workplace and so learning about ancestral Indigenous sovereignty and stuff like that.
So everything that i've the growth of my journey I wanted to put a lot of that into this book. I don't even know. I'm, I'm sorry, Rita. I'm telling you about the book, but I think I went all over the place. But I wanted the audience to know it is a journey. I don't just get up and I wrote a book and that's, and it's complete.
It is a journey. So it's a journey with my illness. It's my journey saying, am I going to be here today? And, and to let the audience know, vertigo is caused by stress. I was stressed. I was stressed about, um, um, and not even realizing like I'm stressed about living this balanced life and I'm stressed about am I good enough and imposter syndrome pleads so much because I, it was a huge part of my life for two years, not feeling worthy.
And, um, and so writing this book is, is me. Saying, you know what, I'm going to do this. I'm going to pick up the call. I'm going to write a legacy for my daughter. I'm going to help women that are struggling to with or thinking that a balanced life is the end all to having that life. And I'm just going to create something magical.
I put so much intention in the book from the cover of the book, from the colors to tap into your divine femininity, to the feel of the book. The book is the soft cover is actually soft because I, I promised myself that I will now live. A soft black girl life and living a soft black girl life isn't about taking luxurious baths or going on beautiful trips only it's about changing your perspective and that starts with me realizing that rest is a part of my birthright.
It is okay for me to rest. I will have a guilt free rest life. And yeah, that's how the book came about. 
[00:44:03] Elton Brown: You know, I have to say, no one's life journey is a straight line. There's always going to be zig zags and turns and spirals and climbs. Very much like this conversation that we're having, uh, today. I want to thank you so much for everything that you have provided us during this conversation, you being one of the 150 Black women , uh, to watch in Canada, being a member of TED Talk now, your book, The Blind Stigma, which is a documentary that helps black women, Individuals who see it to address and confront their mental mental health.
And I have to say that this is one of the topics I think that Really, really needs to be pushed to the forefront, and you are doing that for our community, which is very, very much appreciated. (talking tot he daughter) Hey, beauty, I see you, and thank you. 
[00:45:19] Rita Burke: you have inspired me, and I feel certain. That our listeners will be inspired and educated and informed, Stacy and by your story.
I certainly appreciate. Thank you, thank you, thank you! 
[00:45:37] Stacy-Ann Buchanan: Thank you so much for having me. It is such an honor and such a pleasure. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!
[00:45:47] Elton Brown: Thank you for listening to SpeakUP! International. If you would like to contact writer, Stacy-Ann Buchanan, kindly provide your name and email address and send it to info@speakuppodcast.ca. Please state in your email that you wish to contact. Ms Stacy-Ann Buchanan. 
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