Teaching individuals to tolerate denied access to items, activities, places or people is an essential skill. It helps the individual learn and implement coping strategies, appropriately select available alternatives and communicate their emotions. Not only does teaching them this skill build up toleration to denied access but it also helps them cope when situations or events do not go as planned or if circumstances occur outside of their control which are potentially disappointing or aversive.
I have worked with individuals who were rarely told "no" growing up and it reached the point where they were teenagers or adults in the clinical setting and it was downright dangerous to tell them "no" due to their extreme responses and dangerous behaviours. This not only put staff and clients at risk of injury but does a disservice to the client. By never being denied access to anything, it creates a false reality where there's the illusion that you can get whatever you want, when you want it, which simply cannot be the case.
This episode is full of tips on how to gently ease in denied access to things which is child-lead and focuses on reinforcement as a key strategy to encourage individuals to accept denied access. I talk about taking gradual steps and constantly pivoting and shaping your teaching style based on how your child or client is responding.
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Music Credit
ZakharValaha from Pixabay